You're So Good You're Bad

Summary

Podcast Summary

We Talk Back: "You're So Good You're Bad"
Hosts: TamBam & AJ Holiday
Date: November 20, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, TamBam and AJ Holiday dive deep into the complexities of self-proclaimed "good guys"—the men who label themselves as nice, yet whose actions often betray their claims. With typical wit and candor, the hosts explore why these men can be the most dangerous, how to spot red flags, and share raw stories from their own dating lives and those of their friends. The conversation touches on manipulation, gender roles, relationship standards, and the reality versus the self-promotion of "goodness" in men. Listeners are treated to revealing anecdotes, honest advice, and plenty of laughs along the way.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up & Personal Stories

[03:24–13:12]

• Weekend Recaps: TamBam shares a story about an unsatisfying trip with a man she doesn't enjoy, and AJ tells of meeting David Banner and their playful banter.
  • TamBam: “Ain't no way you need goin' every week. I'm doin'—”
  • AJ: “Bitch made a best win. Remember?”
• Dating Woes: TamBam recounts taking “another nigga” to New Orleans after an ex lets her down, only to regret it thanks to the man's chain-smoking and awkward behavior.

2. Relationship Hot Takes & Social Media Drama

[11:28–25:23]

• Yaya Mayweather's Call for Younger Casts: AJ and Tam discuss Yaya’s comments wishing for younger faces on reality TV like "Love & Hip Hop."
  • TamBam: “Maybe shit, you got the money and the connections – produce some shit!”
• Viral Lawsuit: Discussion of a TikTok influencer being sued for breaking up a marriage and paying $1.75M, highlighting the legal concept of “alienation of affection.”
  • “Ain’t no dick out here worth paying another bitch $1.75 million.” – Tan Bam [16:36]

3. Viral Moments & Gendered Double Standards

[25:23–28:12]

• Boxing Milestone: Celebration of Clarissa Shields’ historic $8 million boxing deal, with side gossip about her social media persona.
• Body image & Dating Fails: TamBam shares an anecdote about refusing to date a man with a big butt (“He looked like a bad bitch from behind!”).

4. The “Nice Guy” Deep Dive

[33:03–81:19]

Setting the Stage

• Reality TV Clip: The conversation gets sparked by a "Love Is Blind" moment where a man cries after his fiancée wants to wait until marriage for sex.
  • “That was manipulation at its finest!” – TamBam [35:17]

Dangers of Self-Proclaimed Nice Guys

• Manipulation Tactics: They highlight how self-branded nice guys often use guilt, pity, or tears to coerce women.
  • “Why does anybody want pity pussy? Because that's essentially what it would be.” – AJ [35:24]
• Weaponized Victimhood: Such men play the martyr role, blaming women for their own lack of romantic success.
• Relationship ‘Resumes’: Caution against believing a man is truly “good” just because he self-promotes; the hosts suggest talking to his ex or baby mama to verify his character.

Personal Experiences

• Ghosting by ‘Nice’ Men: TamBam tells a story about dating a supposed nice guy who vanished—turns out he was married.
  • TamBam: “The last self-proclaimed nice guy that I was dating… that nigga was whole married to a traveling nurse and she was out of town and she was about to come home.” [43:45]
• Public Perception vs Private Reality: Good reputations can mask abusive or manipulative treatment in private.
  • AJ: “He started off as a nice guy – nice, yeah – beat your ass up.” [61:38]

Why Women Overlook the Real Good Guys

• Attraction vs Stability: Sometimes women overlook decent men for more exciting but less dependable ones – “demon dick.”
• Context Matters: The complexity of compromise, settling, and knowing your own boundaries.

5. Red Flags & How to Spot a Truly Good Guy

[68:44–81:19]

• Actions Over Words: Truly good men show consistent, respectful, and accountable behavior.
  • “He shows you his values consistently, not just says them.” – Tan Bam [68:44]
• Accountability & Apologies: Real good guys apologize with specificity and show real change, not just words.
• Respect for Boundaries: A good man is unfazed when you assert your needs or limits.
• Integrity in the Dark: Good guys act right even when no one's watching.
• No "Good Guy" Branding: Real good men are too busy being decent to campaign about it; beware loud self-advertisers.

6. Tips to Protect Yourself from Fake “Nice Guys”

[75:24–79:18]

• Believe behavior, not branding.
• Don’t let great sex blind you to warning signs.
• Consistent attention isn’t always intentional; sometimes it’s about convenience, not commitment.
• Don’t feel obligated to be with a man who is “not terrible”—that’s still settling.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• AJ (on the manipulative crying on Love is Blind):
  “It was scary to me that he started crying on national television because the woman wouldn't give him no Gucci. Are you that sexually frustrated?” [36:14]

• Tan Bam (on retroactive honesty from a ‘nice guy’):
  “So he thought I was going to respond like, well, thank you for telling me the truth. I was like, bitch, I'll spit in your face if I see you.” [45:33]

• AJ (on not letting the past control you):
  “What I've realized lately is that people think accountability is you agreeing with them. And that's not what accountability is... it's just literally having empathy.” [69:19]

• Tan Bam (on boundaries):
  "Boundaries respected without attitude. That's a huge one for me." [71:10]

• AJ (about self-worth in relationships):
  “Don’t owe a man a relationship because he's not terrible. What that singer said—a piece of man is better than no man at all. That's a lie.” [79:18]

• TamBam on the “dating resume” idea:
  “Let me talk to your ex, let me talk to your first baby mama… They know if you’re a nice guy or not.” [43:29]

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Key Timestamps for Major Topics

• [03:24] – Show kicks off, weekend stories, getting “outside”
• [06:53] – TamBam’s disastrous New Orleans trip
• [16:36] – Viral lawsuit over “alienation of affection”
• [25:23] – Clarissa Shields’ boxing milestone
• [33:03] – Introduction to the “good guy” deep dive (Love Is Blind clip discussion)
• [35:17] – Manipulation and weaponized “niceness”
• [43:29] – “Nice Guy” ghosting story
• [68:44] – How to spot a genuinely good man
• [75:24] – Tips for protecting yourself from fake nice guys
• [80:09] – Settling vs. compromising in relationships

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

The episode is unapologetically real, brutally honest, and unfiltered, mixing gleeful shade with heartfelt advice. TamBam and AJ aren’t afraid to call out male manipulations, social media hypocrisy, or their own missteps. They champion self-awareness, advocating for women to trust their instincts, set boundaries, and refuse to settle for men whose “niceness” is often just a mask for entitlement, manipulation, or even abuse.

Listeners are left with both laughter and real talk: don’t be fooled by self-proclaimed good guys—watch how they treat you, not just what they claim to be.

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Follow for more:

• We Talk Back Podcast: every Thursday on The Black Effect and iHeartRadio
• AJ Holiday: @ajholiday2.0
• Tam Bam: @officialtambam

Transcript

[AJ Holiday]

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[AJ Holiday]

All.

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[AJ Holiday]

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[AJ Holiday]

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[AJ Holiday]

See mintmobile.com welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Network.

[Tan Bam]

We're just two unapologetically black women with an op who talks back.

[AJ Holiday]

What's up, y'? All? It's your girl, AJ Holiday. What's up, Tan? Bam.

[Tan Bam]

Yeah, it's 10 bam. Y' all know. Y' all know I love.

[AJ Holiday]

Y' all know.

[Tan Bam]

Y' all know what. Y' all know what the. Going on. I love it when the kids say that. How was your weekend?

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, I did go outside. Oh, what you do? No, just one day. I still did Costco. No, I did. I still did T.J. maxx and Marshalls. It's the holidays, okay? I be needing you just.

[Tan Bam]

You don't need. Ain't no way you need going every week. I'm doing.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm. I'll be trying to. Okay, So I literally went to every single TJ Maxx and every single Marshalls and every single home goods. So it's like two to three of each in the city.

[Tan Bam]

Why?

[AJ Holiday]

If I'm trying to do my bedding. Anyway, y', all, I met our boyfriend, okay? Our boyfriend on Friday. Who. Okay, David Banner. Bitch made a best win.

[Tan Bam]

Remember?

[AJ Holiday]

I'm a little inch closer than you are now.

[Tan Bam]

Damn. Where you met him at?

[AJ Holiday]

So he actually was speaking. The Avery Institute here in Charleston. He was speaking at the. They had him speaking at the African American Museum International. Yeah.

[Tan Bam]

You asked him to come on the show?

[AJ Holiday]

No, I didn't.

[Tan Bam]

Aj. I got.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm going to, though. Okay, we gonna see.

[Tan Bam]

All right.

[AJ Holiday]

That when I got up to him to take the picture, I was like, you need some adh. You need some Adderall. He was like, I don't need nothing that does not keep still. You hear me? Like a kid just bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Like, even during the interview, you told.

[Tan Bam]

That man he need Aderall. He ain't cover that.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, I' Ma always say, what the fuck I feel. You remember how Drake daddy was mad because I accident. He was sleepy, huh? Sleeping. You sleepy? Go to. You go to sleep.

[Tan Bam]

Yeah. He was mad at you. He was so angry. He was big mad. I'm like, oh, my God, why did she say that to this man?

[AJ Holiday]

I said, drake, come get your son, right? Come get your fucking daddy. And all these 20 year old faces. Trouble, right? Yeah, yeah, but that was ping ponging around. He is so fine, okay? He know he a sex symbol. Like, he like literally kept talking about how, like that's a part of his whole thing, like now being a sex. Now being a sex. But I want him to get his gray hair back, though, because I do not like that black hair on top.

[Tan Bam]

I like it.

[AJ Holiday]

But. But that man fine. Y' all is a nice looking man. Okay? 51 years old, Aries, no kids, no wife. What the fuck you got going on in life, right? I want to know. And he was all in his life because now I started fucking stalking a little bit afterwards.

[Tan Bam]

But ain't he didn't chocolate, girl.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. He all on the live saying how he had a good time in Charleston, like aside from the museum. And he locking his lips like, I gotta lock it and throw away the key. Who you've been smashing, right? Like four here. I want to know.

[Tan Bam]

And you one of. So who is the three? Who are the three?

[AJ Holiday]

Who? Who? I want to know.

[Tan Bam]

I want to know too. And why wasn't it me?

[AJ Holiday]

And what is the video?

[Tan Bam]

Y'? All let me tell you about my weekend. And this is me being totally candid. So y' all know I was like dating that YN and I was liking him. And it was his birthday this weekend. And y', all, I tricked off. I didn't typically trick off on a right, but I. I got him a plane ticket to New Orleans and tickets. Good seats to the Pelican game. Pelicans game. And then I ended up not taking that nigga. Cause please don't play with me. Y' all feel the temperature outside. That's how cold I am on the nigga when they play with me. So I did not take him. I took another nigga. But oh my gosh, I was like, I did not enjoy the other y'. All. This was chain smoking cigarettes. I was like, yuck.

[AJ Holiday]

Smoking cigarettes. Is that. That is wild. Okay. That's a nasty ass habit.

[Tan Bam]

Oh, I was so miserable.

[AJ Holiday]

Another one know a nigga who smokes. I do know a who smokes cigarettes. And I ask Him? Why the fuck he smokes cigarettes all the time. But I, you know, they don't go. Yeah, how you know a nigga that smokes cigarettes that you going out of town with, bruh?

[Tan Bam]

It was so bad. It was so bad.

[AJ Holiday]

I was miserable.

[Tan Bam]

I know my hair stink right now. I just got back today. I know my hair stink. Then he kept on complaining about the bill at the restaurants. Bro, you were ordering two entrees every time we go somewhere and then complaining about the bill. Ugh. Y', all, it was just not. I was glad it was just a one day. Like, he's cool as a friend, but nothing more. And I was just like missing my Y in the whole time I was missing him.

[AJ Holiday]

But still look at out the window.

[Tan Bam]

Oh, all right, then, like, all right. So all right. No shade to people with autism, but okay, but listen, because be careful, like, talking like this. So I don't know. I just like, huh?

[AJ Holiday]

Do you have autism?

[Tan Bam]

Do you have autism? He like, no. I was like, have you been tested?

[AJ Holiday]

Because what the fuck going on?

[Tan Bam]

I can't hear your motherfucking ass. I just saw all these motherfucking tickets.

[AJ Holiday]

Hold on. Why was he whispering? Is like.

[Tan Bam]

He's like. I do not know, like his voice.

[AJ Holiday]

Got ombre or something. Like, just go up and come down.

[Tan Bam]

I think.

[AJ Holiday]

Listen.

[Tan Bam]

I think he took some drugs behind my back. And didn't say that because he was smoking a boom cigarette. No, that'll make you loud, I think. I think he was like popping pills or something like that. I don't know. It was wild, y'. All.

[AJ Holiday]

I was like, girl, where did you find this guy? Last minute, right?

[Tan Bam]

It was some last minute shit. I know the way I took the.

[AJ Holiday]

Y n like this. Like you just said. Listen, all that is okay. Okay. Like, you just gotta stop getting mad about shit, though, because he obviously is just for fun.

[Tan Bam]

No, I.

[AJ Holiday]

Listen, y' all have fun together. Like, just hang out.

[Tan Bam]

I should have just took him. I should have just took him. I had paid for it. I should have just took that because maybe that was music. Another Newport, Bro.

[AJ Holiday]

You need a patch. You should get that nigga a pat. Get him a patch for his birthday.

[Tan Bam]

I sent him a message like, you know, all jokes aside, like, you really need to, like, do something about the smoking. Like, it's out of control. I was like, I want you to be here a long time. He said, okay back. That's all he said back was okay?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, that nigga never. That ain't got too many bills. That nigga stressed out like, he's not about to stop smoking today or tomorrow. Damn shame. Damn shame. If you still smoking cigarettes, man, get your life together. That is so nasty.

[Tan Bam]

It's gross. All right.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, y'. All. So Yaya said he she's tired of y' all old hags, okay? She are tired of y' all old ladies. She didn't really say that, but Yaya Mayweather, Floyd Mayweather's daughter, says she would like to see, you know, people in her age group on Love and hip Hop and Real Housewives of Atlanta and shit like that. Like, she would prefer to see some more familiar faces, I guess, because it is our generation, I would think, you know? But maybe y' all gotta come up with your own shit.

[Tan Bam]

That's what I'm thinking. Like, maybe shit, you got the money and the connections. Produce some shit. Help produce some shit. Because these shows have cult followings, you know, like, they want to see these people as they progress. That's why they're the same people for the most part. Like, you think of your Housewives of Atlanta. We don't want to see a whole cast of new bitches. Like, no, we want to see the same people.

[AJ Holiday]

New young bitches at that. So she said, I want to. I want to see Basketball Wives and love and hip hop with young ladies from my generation. Much respect to the older women, but they had their time to shine. I think it's time to pass the torch. So she just wants to revamp the existing cast.

[Tan Bam]

No, these guys love type type, you know, make that show. Yeah, right.

[AJ Holiday]

And, you know, people in the comments was like, oh, we don't want to see her on it. She's not talking about herself. She's not saying she wants to do rap. Realize that celebrities watch tv too, right? Are we going to consider her a celebrity? Yeah, she watches tv, too, so she just wants to see somebody else on the show.

[Tan Bam]

Who would you cast for Love and hip hop type shit. Type shit.

[AJ Holiday]

That's like the younger generation. Yes. Love and hip hop. I don't know who are the younger. Who are the younger?

[Tan Bam]

You know who I would want to see on it? I would want to see Mona Leo. I would Coi Leray for sure. Go ahead and throw Lady London on there.

[AJ Holiday]

I think they a little bit too, like, popping for, you know, usually, like, the people who end up on those shows are, like, trying to get their.

[Tan Bam]

Music, their star of them, but. Yeah, but I mean, I don't know. Like, I don't know anybody. This is who I would want to see. And they Actually are hip hop artists. Lady London, Mona, Leo, Coi Leray. And for the guys, we could put Justin Leboy, because you know, him and Coy Lare are dating. Yeah, I think those drew ski ass on there for fun, man.

[AJ Holiday]

What do you think about that?

[Tan Bam]

You think they really appa would be good on there, huh?

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, yeah.

[Tan Bam]

Any.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, okay.

[Tan Bam]

That would be a good show. I would watch that, but that'll never happen. But that would be a good show.

[AJ Holiday]

You might as well throw Christian Rockin and the Baby daddy on it. Is gonna.

[Tan Bam]

No, that's. They already got it. I don't want to see them no more.

[AJ Holiday]

People been trying to reset their timeline and get them off there.

[Tan Bam]

Listen, I do. My guilty pleasure is I watch baddies on the stair climber.

[AJ Holiday]

Hope.

[Tan Bam]

That keep me going. Y'.

[State Farm Narrator]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

Who do that? Sarah Klein. What are y' all training for? What are you training for?

[Tan Bam]

That's my favorite machine.

[AJ Holiday]

Really? I like the AMT machine, Adaptive motion. So it's like an elliptical slash.

[Tan Bam]

Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Elliptical slash step. So you kind of. Kind of run on that, you know.

[Tan Bam]

What I'm saying, without lifting your foot up.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I like that instead. Like that.

[Tan Bam]

That's their crown. Be making you pour sweat, though, like.

[AJ Holiday]

But how much calories can. Because I feel like, okay, how many calories can you burn in an hour on a stair climber?

[Tan Bam]

I don't. I. I haven't done the research, but I just know it's like a really good cardio. And I like being on that motherfucker. And it'd be like a young bitch beside me and I'd be like, working her ass carrying that boom. But you got to build up to that.

[AJ Holiday]

A thousand calories. A thousand calories in an hour on amt.

[Tan Bam]

Oh, really?

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. And I feel like it's not as bad on your knees as doing a stair climber, because, I mean, it's essentially like walking upstairs a bunch of flights of stairs.

[Tan Bam]

Oh, no, it is. That's exactly what it is.

[AJ Holiday]

So it's just. It doesn't feel like you're doing that much as a stair climber, but you.

[Tan Bam]

I mean, you kind of. But your burden just rocks. Different. Yeah, yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

It's just different movements, like your hands, everything involved.

[Tan Bam]

I gotta try it. I've never been on that one.

[AJ Holiday]

It's hard to find them, you know what I'm saying?

[Tan Bam]

I.

[AJ Holiday]

Literally, whenever I pick a gym, I. I'll call and ask them, like, do y' all have, like, the amt? Yeah, Adaptive motion. It's by precore.

[Tan Bam]

I like that okay, I'm gonna check it out. I doubt I go to Planet Fitness. I don't think they got that machine.

[AJ Holiday]

They probably got something similar to it. Yeah, I'm pretty sure they got something similar to her. So it's the same motion. Anyway.

[Tan Bam]

A North Carolina jury has ordered Tik Tok influencer Brene Kennert to play to pay 1.75 million after finding her responsible for the collapse of Akira Montague's marriage, a case only possible in a handful of states. So Montague's lawsuit, filed in Durham County Superior Court, accused canard of alienation of affection and criminal conversation, two legal claims that allow a spouse to sue someone for wrongly interfering in their marriage and for adultery. Baby, ain't no dick out here worth paying another bitch $1.75 million.

[AJ Holiday]

And that's fucking crazy. Okay, she actually went to court and represented herself. That's what she fucked up at. She probably didn't take that shit serious. I don't know if she's not from the state of North Carolina, because maybe if the husband and wife was from North Carolina, that's how you can sue in the state of North Carolina. Sue that person in the state of North Carolina. I don't know if it works like that or. She's from North Carolina too. But baby, you don't ever go to court. I mean, I'm a lawyer without a degree. She said that?

[Tan Bam]

She might have said that too. Shit. And that's owe 1.75 million. Listen, anytime somebody man is in my DMs, I'mma send them this. Send him the court case. You got. You got 1.75. Because if you don't.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. If you don't have that, you shouldn't be in nobody's dm. And you married. First of all, either you gonna have to pay the other bitch or you gonna have to pay the other bitch. You need to pay her to shut up. Or if your wife sues her, you need to be able to pay that bill too.

[Tan Bam]

I wonder. Cuz she sued the husband now. Like for the money.

[AJ Holiday]

Who? The.

[Tan Bam]

The side.

[AJ Holiday]

The current girl, she pregnant for him. They about to have a baby together.

[Tan Bam]

Oh, the plot.

[AJ Holiday]

The girl was up in court saying she knew their marriage was already over. Their marriage was. But they weren't legally divorced, ma'.

[Tan Bam]

Am. Okay, I would have been there. Like, he's married. What?

[AJ Holiday]

No, but she was posted up online with this woman's husband. They had over 6,7000. Like, what did they say? 700 or 7,000 pieces of evidence. Wow.

[Tan Bam]

Oh, y' all was out here cell.

[AJ Holiday]

Phone like, you did that. And then she's sitting up like they on the videos together. This is this woman's husband.

[Tan Bam]

1.75 million. Ain't no way, y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All.

[Tan Bam]

That's what. If y' all see somebody husband in your dms, just find that court case and send it to them. Says, like, this what you're trying to do if you're in the state of North Carolina.

[AJ Holiday]

Honestly, Right? So I thought this was really funny. I saw earlier how offset and finesse 2 time was going back and forth with each other. And I mean, the content of the argument ain't that like, I don't know what they really was going back.

[Tan Bam]

Like, why they mad at each other?

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. So finesse two times was like, nigga, you a bitch.

[Diet Coke Narrator]

You.

[AJ Holiday]

You suing your baby mama. I'm over here begging my. My kids mama to see my kids. All this, and you suing yours. And you, you suing yours. Upset response like, nigga, I'm not arguing with a bbl. Call him a bad belt dyke. Like, what.

[Tan Bam]

He is. K Duck.

[AJ Holiday]

He is.

[Tan Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. Listen, that dude got too much hips and ass, man.

[Tan Bam]

Yeah, he. He is very hippie. It's the diet, because why you got all that ass?

[AJ Holiday]

I shaped like his mama.

[Tan Bam]

I, I. There's this guy in Charlotte, y', all, and I think he just would have made me the perfect husband. He's very successful, he's attractive, but he just had. He had the same boonky as me. Ain't no way I can't do this.

[AJ Holiday]

Gripping that ass.

[Tan Bam]

Yeah, he was so good. He was so nice. His ass was fat as mine. Like, he was standing at my kitchen sink, and I was looking at him. I was like, man, he looked like a bad bitch from behind. I could not do this.

[AJ Holiday]

Is he, like, chunky or like, just like, he just had with a big butt.

[Tan Bam]

He was fit, but he just had a big ass and hips. I ain't like that. I had to let that go. All right, hold. Listen to this. A woman finally met her online boyfriend in person, but never told him she uses a wheelchair and has no legs. And it's a video, y'. All. He looked up set. He was so happy. He looks so happy. She's smiling and he looking like, what the going on?

[AJ Holiday]

You better get that convenient ass. She ain't got no legs in the way. It's just all right there. Like, what are you talking about?

[Tan Bam]

I feel like that should disclose, though.

[AJ Holiday]

No, Absolutely. I don't know what I would do if I pull up. If I flew across the country to pull up on a. With no legs, right? But what if he had a third one, right?

[Tan Bam]

You gonna get the dick and go. That's not right. And run, aj.

[AJ Holiday]

I know. If he was nice with a bag. You got disability check.

[Tan Bam]

I know.

[AJ Holiday]

At least.

[Tan Bam]

No, you know what? I don't want to say, Like, I wouldn't date somebody who has a disability because that. Because I was diagnosed with ms, was somebody, you know. I don't want people like, oh, I don't want to date her, because what could. The potential of what. Yeah, the potential of what could happen.

[AJ Holiday]

You know, and people misdiagnosed.

[Tan Bam]

That's what I feel like. I feel misdiagnosed, honestly, because I'd be healthy for the most part.

[AJ Holiday]

And y' all know, disease starting to mine, man, I never accepted no, neither.

[Tan Bam]

I haven't believed this since they diagnosed me. And I don't feel it, but. So that's why I'd be like. I don't want to just discount somebody for that. But you gotta mention you ain't got no legs, man. You can't just leave that out. I remember I had this Tinder date, y'. All.

[AJ Holiday]

This.

[Tan Bam]

I met him at. What's that? What's that restaurant like? It's an Italian restaurant at South Park. I walked in the Maggiano's. This was sitting at the bar, and his legs was swinging, y'. All. I was like, this. Short as.

[AJ Holiday]

That's my type of.

[Tan Bam]

No, I'm talking about swinging. And he had to jump down to give me a hug. I was like, oh, this the littlest nigga I ever seen.

[AJ Holiday]

Nah, if he was shorter than you, he really tripping.

[Tan Bam]

No, he was. He, like. He might have been, like, borderline legal, small person. He was like, just like. Yeah, he had short arms. He had short everything. He was so little. But when I tell you I had so much fun with him. He was so funny.

[AJ Holiday]

He ain't got no choice.

[Tan Bam]

He was so funny. But, yeah, no, that was the last time I saw him. Shame. And he took all his pictures on Tinder, like, from the bottom up. I should have knew something was wrong with that, because he made his look like he had height.

[AJ Holiday]

And he was going, y', all. Y'. All. Y' all getting kind of sneaky. I'd be seeing how thick some of y' all heels be. And they have, like, the little inserts you could put in the sneaker, right?

[Tan Bam]

That makes you. To give you A couple inches.

[AJ Holiday]

I know a few.

[Tan Bam]

They're losing notes. There's a whole surgery to extend the length of your legs that men have gotten.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I've seen that. That is so crazy, man.

[Tan Bam]

That is insane.

[AJ Holiday]

I am the owner and CEO of non profit. I'm the advocate for short niggas. Okay? I love y'.

[Tan Bam]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

No, he's like 6 foot 5. Look 5 11, but you 5 11, that's so, like, average height for a man is like 5, 6, 5, 8 nowadays. Like, for real, like, super tall people. That is not like the average height for a man. Yeah, it's like over six, two. That. That is not the majority of men. Black, white, whoever.

[Tan Bam]

No, I agree.

[AJ Holiday]

I think six, two and under is. So anyway, y', all, I guess Papoose must have hit the lottery, child, because Clarissa. Clarissa Shields just signed an 8 million dollar deal with Salita Promotions and Wynn Records. And this is like a historical deal for a female boxer, right?

[Tan Bam]

Graduation.

[AJ Holiday]

So total value, at least 8. At least 8 million over two years for a minimum of four fights. Signing bonus, $3 million. Signing bonus is a part of a deal. And then something else got to do with music. And I think that's where Papoose comes in at. But she was celebrating. And there's a video on social media right now where Papoose saying, I love you to death. He said, let me repeat that. He want to play on the mic. Let me repeat that. I love you to death.

[Tan Bam]

Right? $8 million.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah.

[Tan Bam]

Yeah. He's out.

[AJ Holiday]

You my for life.

[Tan Bam]

We locked in. I ain't mad.

[AJ Holiday]

Be careful. She better be careful.

[Tan Bam]

But I love her. I, like, I watched her, the movie about her life, and I was just in love with her based on the movie. Like, I'm just so proud of her. But some of the stuff, the. Some of the stuff that she be saying online, she just be coming off like a mean girl. And I know, like, boxers are supposed to be arrogant and cocky, and that's part of the Persona. Like, you got to be if you a fighter, you know? But sometimes it just be like. Like, I didn't. Like, I don't appreciate her. Like, how she comes at Layla Ali. Are you supposed to respect her? She's so unproblematic. She is, yeah. And then she. She came out with a dissertation about this. Did you see that? I mean, she had, like, receipts for days again.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, this is like a fan turn a hater, basically. Yeah, that's what Carissa Shields did. I mean, this is. You are this is your senior, essentially. Like, I'm not getting in the ring to give you no money. That's. That's basically what Layla Ali said. You're not making no money off of me, right? With your nasty ass.

[Tan Bam]

And I'm not. I don't fight no more. I don't fight. I'm a wife and a mother and that's what I do now. And I've proven myself. I don't have to prove anything to anybody anymore, so. Girl. Yes.

[AJ Holiday]

Especially to Clarissa.

[Tan Bam]

Right? So I don't like that. But I'm happy for her. Congratulations. Because she come from nothing. When I tell you like her story, like, and how hard she worked to be where she is. I'm proud of her for that because she did work hard and she came from the trenches, y'.

[AJ Holiday]

All.

[Tan Bam]

Flint, Michigan, I think it was Flint. Yeah. She struggled.

[AJ Holiday]

So I don't know. I didn't watch the doc. Well, it's not documentary, but the.

[Tan Bam]

It's.

[AJ Holiday]

I guess. I guess it's a biopic. Yeah, I didn't. I've never seen it. Yeah, watch your interview on the Breakfast Club, but I didn't watch the movie.

[Tan Bam]

It was good. It was good. She's from Flint and she came up in very poverty, very poor situation. And what's that, Ryan? Destiny played her. She did a good job.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, yeah, Yeah, I saw that.

[Tan Bam]

I love her. I saw the pre first. You. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, y', all, so listen. So today we want to talk about the self proclaimed nice guy, good guy. Nice guy, good guys. Right, right. The self proclaimed good guy. Is he really?

[Tan Bam]

All right, let's get into it. We'll be right back.

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[State Farm Narrator (Alternate)]

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[Tan Bam]

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[Ed Helms]

Hey everyone, Ed Helms here and hi, I'm Cal Penn and we're the hosts of Irsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast I am sitting down with Jenny Garth, host of the iHeart podcast. I choose me to discuss the new Audible adaptation of the Timeless Jane Austen classic Pride and Prejudice. This is not a trick question. There's no wrong answer. What role would I play?

[Washable Sofas Narrator]

You know what?

[AJ Holiday]

I can see you as an Mr. Darcy.

[Washable Sofas Narrator]

You got a little call in Firth.

[Ed Helms]

Okay, that's really sweet. I appreciate that. But are you sure I'm not the dad? I'm not Mr. Bennett. Here, listen to Earsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcast.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, so I know y'.

[Tan Bam]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

Maybe, maybe not. But have you guys seen this clip from the TV show? The reality TV show Love is Blind? I know a lot of y' all watch it. I don't watch TV like that, especially reality tv. But I do remember seeing this particular clip and that I've always been saying this for years, that them self proclaim, good niggas. I'm a good nigga. I'm a good dude. You got to be careful with them.

[Tan Bam]

It's certain. It's certain things that I don't like when people self proclaim it. Like, you need to allow other people to say that about you.

[AJ Holiday]

Exactly.

[Tan Bam]

You know?

[AJ Holiday]

Right. So Edmund Harvey and how do you. Do you watch that show? Is it Calibra? Is that her name?

[Tan Bam]

Calibra, kb don't get me to lie. I don't watch it. I can't say none of these. I can't stand none of that. And the crazy part is, I tried to be on one of them. Remember?

[AJ Holiday]

Dating show?

[Tan Bam]

Yeah, I would. I auditioned for Love is Blind season nine, and I almost made it, but they chose that. The virgin instead of me.

[AJ Holiday]

Shame. Yeah. So Calibra, KB Haskin and Edmund Harvey, they were on a most recent episode of Love is Blind season nine, and KB states, she has chosen to wait for sex and why and was clear about her boundaries. This is what she's telling her now fiance. Because y' all know in those TV shows, like, you don't really meet the person until I guess you choose them. Right? Is that how it works? Yeah, on there. So now they're engaged, Right. So she's telling him, like, she wants to wait until they get. Actually get married to have sex. So Edmund becomes upset and starts crying in bed. Okay. And partly because his fiance is choosing to wait, and he frames his frustration around feeling like the nice guy who is being taken advantage of. Right. So the whole discussion online is about what? Is it online? No, it's about. It's. It's not even an online discussion.

[Tan Bam]

Well, there was some discussions online about it. Yeah. Yeah. People were talking about this.

[Diet Coke Narrator]

That.

[AJ Holiday]

That was scary to me that he busted out crying like that.

[Tan Bam]

Oh, yeah. That was manipulation at its finest.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes, you are trying to. Why do you.

[Tan Bam]

Why does.

[AJ Holiday]

Why would anybody want pity pussy? Because that's essentially what it would be. But I know.

[Tan Bam]

I know somebody who, like, he. He like pity pussy. You know him too. Oh, he. He expressed that to me like, he don't mind pity pussy. Open war.

[AJ Holiday]

He told you that?

[Tan Bam]

Yep. Shame on you.

[AJ Holiday]

Any is terrible. Like, why would you want some, man? Why would you want that?

[Tan Bam]

Right? Is that good?

[AJ Holiday]

No, that is borderline. That's what we be talking about sometimes when you do some shit because you really don't want to do it and you just hear, here, man, damn. Yeah, I hear some here.

[Tan Bam]

Damn pussy. Hey. Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

So it's scary to me that he started crying on national television because the woman wouldn't give him no Gucci. Are you that sexually frustrated?

[Tan Bam]

But then I tried to put myself in a man's shoes, not particularly him, because he seemed, like, very manipulative. But what if it is some. Not really. All right, think about the type of man that's going to go on the show. Like this one. Right?

[AJ Holiday]

That part.

[Tan Bam]

There's a particular type of man that's going to audition to marry a stranger. Right. I think with women. Women. Because men give access to marriage, right? Not women.

[AJ Holiday]

I partially agree with that.

[Tan Bam]

Why?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, because I know that's the whole thing. Like, women give access to sex, men give access to marriage. But once you ask a woman to marry you, I still got to decide to walk down that aisle or not. I still have a decision in that process. Right. So I really don't. I don't. I don't believe that anymore. You know what I'm saying?

[Tan Bam]

No, I get what you're saying, but.

[AJ Holiday]

People gotta execute on the thing once they.

[Tan Bam]

Right, right. But I just think I hate when I see a woman proposing.

[AJ Holiday]

I hate it. Disgusting. Oh, that's not your person. That man doesn't like you. You cannot. A man is going to do exactly what he wants to do. Right? And you don't want a man who does some shit because you've harassed him into doing it. You don't want that. Ultimately, he doesn't want to be in that relationship and he's just, hey, man, hit a ring. You don't want no type. That type of.

[Tan Bam]

Right. But I try to think. Yeah. Period settling. Never ever I wish I would see a down on one knee. I might accidentally, accidentally kick her by accident. Oh, I'm sorry.

[AJ Holiday]

Get up. I'm gonna rob them. I'm gonna. I'm. Snatch the ring and run.

[Tan Bam]

Okay? I try to think about a really. A nice guy, right, who just never get no pussy. That could be very frustrating, like, because for whatever reason, he just can't close the deal. He can't close the deal.

[AJ Holiday]

Everybody not supposed to get pussy. That's what the world has fucked up, right? And I know I've said this before. If we were in the wild as animals, if women really, like, measured the things that are required to have a family, right? Because that is the ultimate goal when you're. When you are procreating and dating and all that stuff. Just take away, like, laws and religion. Just we looking like we animals, right? It's a lot of niggas that would die, haven't never had sex. Just like animals do.

[Tan Bam]

Not.

[AJ Holiday]

Animal gets coochie, you know what I'm saying? So it is natural selection, essentially, that you're gonna die because nobody sees you as a suitable mate. It's just. And it could happen to women also. I'm not saying that, but women look at other things. Like, men look at the physical, right? A lot of times women, we. The shit that we like in men, like, it's sometimes it's not. It's not physical. It's like some Genesis quoi, you know what I'm saying? It's the aura of the man.

[Tan Bam]

Like, just that masculine energy. Like Idris Elba. I don't think Idris Elba was, like, the finest in the face. Like, he's very handsome, don't get me wrong. But it was that virile madness about him that Jonathan Majors had that strong masculine energy that was just like, ooh, take me down.

[AJ Holiday]

He's been crying a little bit, too, lately now. I've been. Took him off my vision board. Jonathan Majors? Yeah. I said that shit with that white.

[Tan Bam]

Woman I was with. Oh, yeah. After I seen her chasing him down the street, I was like, oh, no.

[AJ Holiday]

He better run, girl. He was running for his life, literally. Yeah, but up.

[Tan Bam]

It still got up, but that just kind of turned me off. But yeah. Yeah. Wouldn't you feel sorry for a man like that, though? I feel sad for them. Like, they just closed it, okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Because oftentimes those men, they can get. They just can't get the. From the women that they think they should get the pussy from, right? So that's when you see, like, perfect example, because we haven't talked about this. The. The hate that you got online on Good Moms. Bad Choices podcast. Just because you're choosing to let this YN waste your time instead of this supposed. These nice. Those are the good guys that were talking crazy you.

[Tan Bam]

Oh, they were so madness off after some point because it was like the anger that I received from men shocked. Shocked me so bad. Because why are y' all so mad at this? It don't have nothing to do with.

[AJ Holiday]

You because you have a choice. Your choice was to let this y N play in your face and not them.

[Tan Bam]

And they were big mad. No, I'm talking.

[AJ Holiday]

How dare you big mad. How dare you not give me a chance over here, some nigga I don't know to play in my face. That is why they're upset. They. Men get mad because they can't have access to the pussy they think they should have access to. That's it, right? That. That's where that hate is stemming from.

[Tan Bam]

Because if I was sitting there unattractive, and they wouldn't even comment. They wouldn't care. It was just like they scroll past.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, you get what you supposed. What you're getting.

[Tan Bam]

Yeah, but they. I'm talking about. They tried to eat me up, and I was cussing them out, too. Oh, I had fun with it for a little while, but then it was like, all right.

[AJ Holiday]

When I finally went and looked on them like, yo, what the is happening? Those are clearly incels. Real men are not on the. On in those. And this is why y' all not getting coochie. Because real men are not in the comments attacking women like that. They're them, right? Okay. They've been them since high school, right? So really, y' all need to go. Like, they do need a Kevin Samuels type back. Right? Because once Kevin Samuels first came out, his thing was more geared towards men and image and getting their. What is it? The sex value up and all these things. Like, there's a lot of things. It's just some. Some men can wake up and get new box. Not all men can do that. So you have men who get money because money gives you instant swag. You add money for instant swag.

[Tan Bam]

Right?

[AJ Holiday]

But swag is the ability to bag bitches with no money.

[Tan Bam]

Right? Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

Just some niggas got it and some don't.

[Tan Bam]

Oh, I would listen. They say they little nasty comment under the comments, and, baby, I will go to their page and comment under their picture. Oh, and eat them up, baby. I know you ain't talking to me. Look at this.

[AJ Holiday]

You was clocking in on them.

[Tan Bam]

Oh, yes, I was. It was fun.

[AJ Holiday]

But yeah, those guys would really think that they're good guys. And you are now allowing a Y in to play with you instead of dating one of dating one of us. Because we're good, right? But you're really not. You're really not good. And then the thing is, is that let me tell you if you're good, right? I by you just telling me, oh, I'm a good guy, and then we actually get into a relationship or whatever and you spawn from the fucking devil. A lot of them. A lot of them. So let, let me talk to your ex. Let me talk to your first baby mama, right? They know if you're a nice guy or not.

[Tan Bam]

Wait, the last self proclaimed nice guy that I was dating and I was just like, oh, this is going to be my husband. He's so nice. He's so sweet. He's. That nigga was whole married to a traveling nurse and she was out of town and she was about to come home. He ghosted me after like three months. I like, my intuition was on key because I just would never give him no buns. I just wouldn't take it there. And then right before I did, I like said something that made him develop a conscience and he just kind of did. I don't even know if that's what really happened or the baby. The wife was coming back from wherever she was traveling to, but he ghosted me.

[AJ Holiday]

I realized he couldn't play with you like that and he just cut it short. Some people just like to fraternize, you know what I'm saying? They're not really actually going to ever do the things. They just want to feel like they can. People who are in relationships sometimes just want to feel like they still got it a little bit. And some of them will actually be out here cheating, starting whole relationships with other women and other men.

[Tan Bam]

And I'm talking about this nigga was like, I'm ready for. I'm ready for a wife. You ready for a wife tripping?

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, no, he's a liar.

[Tan Bam]

He was the worst liar. And he probably.

[AJ Holiday]

You probably said some shit that made him think that, man, she gonna be a problem. This bitch gonna come to my house. This bitch gonna call my wife.

[Tan Bam]

This bitch will air your whole out. Please do not pray with me. I remember, as you should. And before he goes to me, I remember thanking him for being a good person and telling him how I meet so many men who try to manipulate and take advantage. And I just want to thank you for like being so good. That's the last Time I saw this motherfucker.

[AJ Holiday]

But that was good of him to disappear, right?

[Tan Bam]

But. Right, it was good of him. But then he came back and told me the truth. Like maybe two months later. He sent me a message saying like, I just, you know, I didn't know that you were how you are. And I just didn't feel like I didn't want to do you like that. You, you are a good woman. I just didn't want to do you like that. And I'm married. And. And I guess he thought because I'm. Listen, I'm sweet as pie to Liang. So he thought I was going to respond like, well, thank you for telling me the truth. I was like, bitch, I'll spit in your face if I see you. That's what I told.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, because what he. He didn't think he was gonna have to drag that shit up for three fucking months. He thought he was going to smash your ass for the first couple weeks. That's what happened. And he realized that wasn't going nowhere and he gonna really have to put some work in. Ah, bitch, I'm married. Or just. I was just playing.

[Tan Bam]

I was gonna get right back, right? I hate you, motherfucker.

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[AJ Holiday]

Even in cold butter.

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Yep.

[AJ Holiday]

Chocolate ice cream. Sure thing. Barbecue sauce.

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[Diet Coke Narrator]

You ever notice how wild life gets when you don't slow down? From meetings to errands, to your phone buzzing nonstop, it can feel like the day never ends. Sometimes you gotta stop and reset. That's when it's time to grab a Diet Coke. That crisp, refreshing taste, crispy as some would call it, allows you to make time for you time. Maybe you're wrapping up a workout, finishing that last email, or sitting on the couch scrolling. Or maybe you're catching up with friends, cruising through your neighborhood, or enjoying a quiet moment nobody else can touch. Whatever your break looks like, Diet Coke can make it so much better. It's not only a drink, it's a signal to take a breather, reset and remind yourself the moment belongs to you. Because when you choose to pause, you're choosing you. So next time, White feels nonstop. Hit pause, crack open a Diet Coke, take a sip, let the bold taste cut through the noise. And remember, your break is yours. Make time for a Diet Coke break. Diet Coke. This is my taste.

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[Tan Bam]

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[AJ Holiday]

Spin Quest is a free to play.

[Tan Bam]

Social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[AJ Holiday]

So I I believe we've all dated good guys. Let me I'm trying to think if I ever so I feel like all of them all Everybody who I've ever dated, okay, I can say, like, right now, I'm actually dating a good guy. This is probably the only good guy that I have chosen. I'll say that, right? Because we run into people and we may not like them for whatever reason, right? And you, you. You think back, like, damn, he might have been good for me, but for whatever reason, you just didn't feel them. Was it feeling them like that?

[Tan Bam]

That big what? That big ass? That thick ass, boy.

[AJ Holiday]

So that happens too. Maybe weak. Sometimes women, as women, we overlook the good guys, right? Because you're wrapped up with this damn demon. Demon dick. You can't even see the good guy in front of you. That happens, too.

[Tan Bam]

I met another guy that was a really, really good guy. No kids, never been married, very successful, looking for that. And we had a good thing. But I just did not like the fact that he didn't have any black.

[AJ Holiday]

Like, where did he grow up?

[Tan Bam]

And that was his thing. He's like, you know, I've grown up in upper suburbia, and this is the people I was around my whole life. I went to. This is the people I went to school with. This is. This has always been. I was like, I'm 12 years old. What I'm supposed to do? Like, I'm hanging out with the people I go to school with, I hang out with.

[AJ Holiday]

He went to like, predominantly white colleges, too.

[Tan Bam]

Like, he's just matriculated through white spaces his entire life. And.

[AJ Holiday]

Had he only dated white girls? Were you going to be his first black?

[Tan Bam]

No, I wasn't his first black, but he did have like. Like, the last girlfriend was white or he was like, she was Argentinian. What?

[AJ Holiday]

That's Hispanic white. Hispanic, Argentinian. What?

[Tan Bam]

All right, so that's not white. Okay, See, I mean, to me, she looked white, but y' all don't be mad. I'm not being racist. She just look like to me. But okay, yeah, I mean, a lot.

[AJ Holiday]

Of the Spaniards are fair complected for sure, Right? So if she's from Argentina, let me just say this.

[Tan Bam]

She was not a black woman. I'll say that. She was not black, right? Other. Yeah, so. And then I'm a real. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, what, you like you like me? Cause I'm not what you used to, baby, you know, like, so I don't know, but. And I. And that kind of like, you should have everything up, you know what I'm saying?

[AJ Holiday]

Like, what did he talk like a white man? Was he like. Was he Stuffy. All right, so y'. All. So there are. I mean, maybe we can go over like the. A few types of like self proclaimed good guy.

[Tan Bam]

Okay. Types of people.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know. All right, So I think one of the major things is like good guys, they want like major reward for minute small, right? So just because you open doors for people, you think I'm supposed to suck your dick, right? You know what I'm saying? And they kind of think that chivalry equals moral superiority. And it doesn't. Okay? There's a whole lot of other things that goes into actually being a good guy. Good human. One of my homegirls is married. And when she picked her current partner, she said that she basically, you know, because of her. How terrible her, her previous relationship was. She basically just was looking for somebody who did not exemplify those particular qualities. She forgot about all the other shit. And I think that's why dating is so important, right? Because you have, you. You actually need like a collection. You need to experience a few people to actually know that you like and don't like in your boundaries. You know what I'm saying? Because like say for instance, like, this guy beats you, right? So you go get the next guy who just doesn't beat you, but he'd.

[Tan Bam]

Still be talking crazy and he don't work or.

[AJ Holiday]

Or some like, you know what I'm saying? So it's, it's always. There's more. There's always different things, right? More. Okay. And in order for you to know what your, your likes or dislikes are, you kind of got to experience different people. You kind of have to go through it to know you don't fuck with that. Or at least, you know, I think I'm the type that kind of can learn other people's experiences. I fuck with that. So that's like one of the things.

[Tan Bam]

I put on my boundary list.

[AJ Holiday]

On my list, yeah. Like I'm looking for a man that has this thing or does not do this, right? So you kind of got to.

[Tan Bam]

What about the nice guy? Narcissist. He uses nice niceness as a PR campaign, melts down when rejected and feels that women are unfair for not choosing him. That's that guy from the show.

[AJ Holiday]

All day long that. So that is narcissistic behavior, like crying, trying to manipulate her emotionally to get some coochie. It's fucking crazy. Boy, you better take this hand job of these kisses and be done with it. I'm not gonna lie. I. I probably would have smashed him. We about to get married. Like, I need to see what the dick is like before we get married. Like, I don't really want to get married and then see what the dick is like. That's why I don't agree with like people not living together before. Like, I need to know how you, I need to know.

[Tan Bam]

I probably wouldn't have fucked him after that.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, that shit over with. After, after him crying out there. It's over with. You can't even stand the pressure of no coochie. Like what's going to happen, right?

[Tan Bam]

And you crying about some pussy.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, that shit scared the fuck out of me.

[Tan Bam]

They didn't. They end up not getting married. But she really tried. I felt bad because it seemed like she was trying hard based on what I saw. You know, I didn't watch the show, but based on the clips I saw, it seemed like she was just, you know, very open minded and really wanted a husband because she was going for the, that I would be like, is you crying right now? I know you like you would have hit it.

[AJ Holiday]

Popped him. I would have popped him. This is why I always say adult scene.

[Tan Bam]

You have not hit that man. Because he needed it.

[AJ Holiday]

He needed to get a pop.

[Tan Bam]

Pop. I would give you something to cry about.

[AJ Holiday]

Built to assume. Exactly. You want this. You want this. That's how I would have did it with my hand. Just like you want this, I would have got a belt.

[Tan Bam]

You cannot be getting no belt to no grown man.

[AJ Holiday]

If you don't stop all that crying, I'm gonna give you something to cry about. Yes. He needed his ass. Whooped the martyr. Good guy. I treat women right and still get hurt. Always the victim in every story. Never accountable. Always. It's a bunch of trauma. Right. So I do know I have some guy friends who I feel like, like they all these stories sound like a scorned black woman. I do have some guy friends. Like, like guy. You ain't have no good experiences women ever. What are you, how are you doing your thing?

[Tan Bam]

The picker broke.

[AJ Holiday]

I.

[Tan Bam]

Broke.

[AJ Holiday]

Picker? Yeah. Like so I don't know. I, I, I need to see your, your first, if you got kids. I need to talk to your first baby mama. And I need to talk to your mama. Okay. I need to see what, how you be treating your mama. If your mama tell me you good, then you might be good.

[Tan Bam]

I'm not like these other dudes, guy. You are indeed like these other niggas. You're just like them. Anytime somebody say that, they typically are one of them niggas just like all the rest of them.

[AJ Holiday]

I mean, a guy might say the same thing about a woman. Because I'd like to think that I'm not like all other women.

[Tan Bam]

I like, I tell niggas, I'm just like the rest of them. I want some money too. The fuck you talking about? Like, no.

[AJ Holiday]

No, that part.

[Tan Bam]

Yeah. Like, I don't think you can come over here and don't do nothing. I'm just like, these. Don't get it twisted. You're gonna make, you have to make me feel special.

[AJ Holiday]

Right?

[Tan Bam]

So no.

[AJ Holiday]

Spoil alert. Okay? So why do self proclaimed good guy. Why are self proclaimers proclaimed good guy so dangerous? I think the self proclaimed good guy. Oh, I got another friend who was dating a self proclaimed good guy. And this guy, like everybody knew him in the city, you know what I'm saying? Like he was actually a trainer, right? So a lot of girlies was working out with him. He started like with the outside workouts first and then he eventually was in a gym working out Hilo here in Charleston. And he's been in jail right now since January for abusing my friend.

[Tan Bam]

For what?

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. And this imagine me, right? You know me, right? So imagine and you know the type of shit I done been through in relationships. But imagine me right now with somebody who putting their hand on me.

[Tan Bam]

Yes.

[AJ Holiday]

Would you be like shocked? I was shocked that she was experiencing that. And this was a self proclaimed good guy when they first met, so. But how she explained it is that, you know, his abuse started like small gradually, like passionate kissing while choking you in the wall. Right?

[Tan Bam]

I like that. Right?

[AJ Holiday]

You might think that's like you like it until it comes with a punch next in the next couple months, right? So it just gradually escalates. They basically condition you for the ass whoopings.

[Tan Bam]

I like a little choke, but don't ever punch.

[AJ Holiday]

What slowly happens? Yeah, I love a little choke, okay. I only like to get bullied in the bedroom. Now you started bullying, right? We in Walmart, in public, right? Like in the car, right? It's a problem. Like we out at an event or something like that. And you trying to punk me.

[Tan Bam]

Like I love a bedroom bully, but not nowhere else.

[AJ Holiday]

Yes. Yeah. So yeah, he started off as a nice guy. Nice, yeah. Beat your ass up.

[Tan Bam]

And then nobody know the world's still out here thinking he a nice guy. Meanwhile he's abusive, right?

[AJ Holiday]

Another one of my friends, I hope these don't listen. They like this girl. Nobody knows y' all like, right? I'm about to Say, another one of my friends, not like that, right? They know what the hell I mean. But another one of my friends, her. Her guy always compares himself because he knows the treatment that she received from him, right? So it's almost like, well, at least I ain't doing this to you. Like. Like, you, like, basically like your baby daddy Aim and just a little bit better. This much better than him. So I to be grateful. That's why type shit. And you know what I told her? I said, you can do as good.

[Tan Bam]

But that's why I tell y', all, never tell the current nigga that the last nigga treated you bad. Always. Yeah, always. Because you gonna have you setting the standard for how this nigga think you should be treated. Honestly, so.

[AJ Holiday]

And I think it might just be subconscious. I don't think that the next man intentionally does it, but I do think it's, like a subconscious thing where, shit, she can take it. She done been through this shit before. And I know I'm an oversharer. We got a whole podcast when we oversharing bullshit. So I know that I have definitely spoken ad nauseam with a new partner about shit that I've been through with somebody else. And I just feel like I want to be able to do that, right? I don't want it held against me. I don't want you to subconsciously be mistreating me because somebody else did it, right? But you just. You really just can't tell men everything about you. That's just it. And if you're going to tell them anything, everything is positive. And your baby daddy's actually dead. He does not live 20.

[Tan Bam]

No, don't say that.

[AJ Holiday]

A widow is better than a baby mama. And in the eyes of these.

[Tan Bam]

Okay, but then your kid gotta see. Like, you can't. Your kid still gotta see his daddy, like, all right, her daddy.

[AJ Holiday]

I'm saying, if your kid never sees the dad. Why would you say that? I have a child. For this man who hasn't seen his son in five years. Why would you tell a new man that his dad died five years ago?

[Tan Bam]

Girl, do y'. All. Y' all listen to aj? If y' all want to, let's go. Because eventually this nigga might come around, and then now your boy, your husband, new husband or boyfriend gonna be like, you told me he was dead.

[AJ Holiday]

By that time. His kid gonna have this man last name. Who is that? He faked his death, y'.

[Tan Bam]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

There you go. He faked his death.

[Tan Bam]

Don't be telling these lies. First of all, you Got to come up with all kind of aside lies to keep up with that. No, don't do that.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, like everything, you know, we just didn't work out. He was a great guy, you know, everything was good. It just didn't work out. This is how you should actually tell the next or don't ever tell somebody that you mistreated. I made that mistake for sure.

[Tan Bam]

Yeah.

[AJ Holiday]

Entitlement disguises kindness. They expect return on emotional investment. Acts of service is super transactional. So how does that work for Christmas? The good guys probably expect you to spend the exact, the same amount of money that he spent on you. At that point, we might write our own gifts.

[Tan Bam]

I agree. I mean, I do think like, I don't mind tricking off on my guy, but I just want you to trick bigger, that's all.

[AJ Holiday]

Damn. I know a lot of people in relationships had situations with nice guys. Like another one of my friends had a baby with a very nice guy. The whole community thinks he's a nice guy, but how he mishandled her, her pregnancy, all these things. He's not a good person whatsoever. And everybody thinks he's a good guy. You know what I'm saying? Like, you know, you can't, you're not going to find only the people who have experienced him. I think like maybe like his ex wife or something like that. And then now my homegirl haven't had a child with him. Those are probably the only people who have experienced him in that way that will have a different story because he's, he's different to people outside of relationships. He's different in a public way because.

[Tan Bam]

Many like, you'll find like men who are like exceptional fathers but just terrible partners. So they're like, oh, he is, he's a good dad, he's a good guy. But as a partner, he's abusive, manipulative, you know.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, that's not a good guy. You know what I'm saying? I think that we oftentimes give people passes based on shit. Maybe you did experience worse than another relationship. So now this person getting a pass because he's a tiny bit better. These are.

[Tan Bam]

Still.

[AJ Holiday]

None of these people are good people. I just feel like, like you really, you treat people how you want to be treated. The shit that women allow men to do, men will never allow it to happen to them. Your ass would be iced the first time they say some they don't like or you do some sideways, you cheat on them. I don't know, be having men, that's stealing from them and we staying.

[Tan Bam]

Going on trips with your baby mama behind your back and.

[State Farm Narrator (Alternate)]

Hey.

[AJ Holiday]

Right. Yeah. You let you go on vacation with.

[Tan Bam]

Your baby daddy, right?

[AJ Holiday]

Not what.

[Tan Bam]

What right.

[AJ Holiday]

That is unheard of. So why. So now that's how you got to look at things, right? As a woman, that's how you have to look at it. If. If this were you. I remember my ex, the one who was in. Who did time, and he. He had a baby right out here, and I asked him. I was. I was like, so if I. If I were to have a baby and not with the guy, like, by the time you come home, you. We gonna still be together. Then straight up told me no, said it was my choice, that I stayed with him.

[Tan Bam]

Absolutely right.

[AJ Holiday]

Absolutely right. You are absolutely right. And from that point.

[Tan Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

That bitch got ghost. I was intentionally looking for a new relationship because what right. It's the truth, though, you know, you can't expect you exactly out of somebody else. Everybody ain't going for it. So why are you right for it?

[Tan Bam]

That's what I heard.

[AJ Holiday]

That.

[Tan Bam]

That's why I didn't take that on the trip. But I was sad the whole trip. Oh, goodness. All right. How to identify a genuinely good man. All right, so actions, not adjectives. He shows you his values consistently, not just says them. Because niggas will, like, say, I'm gonna do this, and I talk to the lady and I'm Chad, like, and they'll just talk your head off and say all the right things, but the actions never align.

[AJ Holiday]

Next one is accountability is sexy. He apologizes with specificity. What specificity? He apologizes with specificity and change. You know how I always be saying I'm not into holding other people accountable? Right? Everybody should hold themselves accountable. What I've realized lately is that people think accountability is you agreeing with them. And that's not what accountability is. Accountability is just literally having empathy. Right? And seeing that person's point of view. Just because I still disagree with you does not mean I'm not taking accountability.

[Tan Bam]

I agree there. But if you are, in fact wrong and you apologize for something, that's subjective.

[AJ Holiday]

You see what I'm saying? Like, what if you feel wrong? That's subjective. So what you're apologizing for is maybe how that person felt in that moment, but is that a genuine apology? You know, I got a problem with those type of apologies, and I don't want those type of apologies.

[Tan Bam]

Yeah, like, if you don't a.

[AJ Holiday]

Nobody ever got.

[Tan Bam]

No, I want. I want both. I want you to apologize to me. And then change the behavior. You know, if you believe that what you did was wrong. Because if you don't, then don't. Just don't apologize all together. Don't tell me sorry for something that you know.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, because some people say sorry so easily, because they don't, they gonna do that same again.

[Tan Bam]

So if.

[AJ Holiday]

If you can easily tell me sorry and I know you're gonna.

[Tan Bam]

I don't want. The behavior is the same.

[AJ Holiday]

Some people could. Like this man gonna say, you saw every time he cheat.

[Tan Bam]

Sorry, I miss my grandma.

[AJ Holiday]

How many times you gonna up. Now it's a pattern. Yeah, now it's a pattern. And this is just what you do.

[Tan Bam]

Boundaries respected without attitude. That's a huge one for me. I hate a like, damn, imma get you the flowers. Nobody wants a damn imma get you the flowers, ass nigga.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, I'm not talking no more. If I get a response like that about anything I'm asking about, because when somebody asked me something, I do it immediately.

[Tan Bam]

So if I.

[AJ Holiday]

If I gotta ask a partner more than one time to do some shit, that over it. Because it's already hard for me to ask a motherfucker to do some shit. And if I actually muster up the strength to ask you to do some shit, you acting like I'm annoying.

[Tan Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

Your ass, King. Cut the fuck off.

[Tan Bam]

Right. What about integrity in the dark? Quiet character over loud claims same thing as, like, a nigga doing what he say he gonna do instead of just talking, you know.

[AJ Holiday]

Integrity in the dark. I don't get that one.

[Tan Bam]

Like, he being the same person that he says out loud when nobody can see it.

[AJ Holiday]

Ah, okay. Yeah, I get it now. No PR campaign. Actual good dudes are usually too busy being decent to advertise it. That's facts. Okay, so that. That goes to the.

[Tan Bam]

Yeah. Like, when I see people doing a lot of charitable things, sometimes. Sometimes I'll be feeling like, is it because you really, like, care about these things? Or sometimes it'd be feeling like.

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah, pandering, attention seeking. Yeah, it's a lot of characters. I mean, especially with so. With Instagram and stuff like that. Those people's pages are geared towards that type of content, Right. You gotta know it's not genuine. Like, every day. This is just. That's their niche, right? So if you got a man that's saying, yeah, y'.

[Tan Bam]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

If they pander into women, like, talking about other men, like, that is their niche on that page. If it's a woman talking to other women, they're pandering to men, it's. That's the niche. You these, is not living these lives. Okay. You know that one girl, I don't know her page, she talks really, really hard though. Brown skinned girl and she be talking crazy to. She be saying, talking, talking shit to women basically and like I guess putting men on point about women, you know.

[Tan Bam]

What I'm talking about?

[AJ Holiday]

It's really weird because the niggas be in the comments like, yeah, sis, tell them they just love beating a woman up. They just love it.

[Tan Bam]

They're really into it.

[AJ Holiday]

Really weird.

[Tan Bam]

I don't even know that.

[AJ Holiday]

And I just feel like, I just feel like men know the niggas we talking about. Like, you know, some of your homeboys is like this like one of my, one of my good friends, his, his cousin fucked around and went to jail this past weekend on some dv, right? And I'm always like, I don't like none of his friends. I don't like none of your friends. I'll be, I'll be telling him, those are not your fucking friends. And when a woman tells you, right, not your friends, believe them, okay? We just have insight. Like I remember one of the niggas asked me essentially, let me not even go into that shit on here, but those are not his friends. And this, this, this guy, this cousin of his, I mean that's his family, so he can't. But aside from the cousin, the other homeboys is whack ass niggas too. I saw that coming from a mile away that he'd be in some DV at some point. I saw it. A lot of the incels and who don't get the.

[Diet Coke Narrator]

They be abusive, they be abusive, they.

[AJ Holiday]

Be mad, they be angry.

[Tan Bam]

Real angry.

[AJ Holiday]

Are dangerous. Yeah. I mean, because I guess they got.

[Tan Bam]

A lot of, a lot of frustration.

[AJ Holiday]

Pimped up, you know. Yeah, they need to release, but you better go, go pay for some coochie, get you a doll or something like that.

[Tan Bam]

All right? Here's some tips to protect yourself against the self proclaimed good guy. All right? Believe behavior, not branding, right? Because niggas will appear to be the good guy present as the good guy.

[AJ Holiday]

What is it though? Is it witchcraft? Is it witchcraft that a man can be telling us one thing and literally doing something else and we believe what he's saying, then start lying to ourselves.

[Tan Bam]

Especially if the dick did it or.

[AJ Holiday]

I think I'm just the benefit of the doubt queen. And I think I just understand humans so much. Just like how I fuck with people is. I will see how you are and decide if that's what I want to fuck with or not. So if you a liar, a cheater, a thief, or whatever, I. For whatever reason, I just do not those things to me at some point. So I just. That's who that person is. As long as I know who you are, I could.

[Tan Bam]

With you, it's.

[AJ Holiday]

When you start doing this to me, I got a problem with it. Okay. But I got a high tolerance for, too. Like, I'll just let go on and fester until I just wake up one day and be like, I'm not with it around, girl. Some shrooms and do some introspective work over the weekend. It's over.

[Tan Bam]

I'll be letting the fun. Fun outweigh. Like, it'd be like having so much fun. You know, I really. I'm enjoying this so much that I be ignoring the red flag until. Until I wake up one day, and I'll be a cold. Like, straight cold on a. And they, like, don't even see it coming. Because I'll go from sweetest pie to How'd you. I blocked you. Why are you calling me from your mama's phone? Like, type of bitch.

[AJ Holiday]

Right? I don't get this one. Don't confuse consistency with convenience. So someone being consistent. I'm trying to see the correlation.

[Tan Bam]

Oh, like, basically, you might see him. He's always around. He's making himself available, but only because it's convenient. Is not. It is consistent, but only because you are of convenience to him. So you have to make sure, like, this person is being consistent because they are being intentional or because it's easy.

[AJ Holiday]

Because you're making it okay. So I have another friend, somebody to be family. I just keep saying friend, but I'm like, dog, these niggas only coming through because you got. You got free pussy over there. If you was charging over there, them ain't coming through. So put a price tag on it. If you already. You ain't worried. You like sex that much, just put a price on it. See if you can get a winning coat. Remember that. That challenge online. Remember that challenge online? They was challenging to call a man that they having sex with and see if he'll buy them a winter coat and would.

[Tan Bam]

But you having sex with a man gonna freeze for the free.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay. You giving that, I guess.

[Tan Bam]

Good. Oh, wait.

[AJ Holiday]

Box this.

[Tan Bam]

Just handed it out, girl. Throw the web.

[AJ Holiday]

Girl.

[Tan Bam]

I'm proud of.

[AJ Holiday]

Listen. Hearing that Take me through there. Because I am not with a. Taking me through.

[Tan Bam]

I think it's just sexually take Me through there. I thought that's what that meant nothing.

[AJ Holiday]

But that's. See, the sex is how you get wrapped up in going through the sex is how it. How you just randomly just.

[Tan Bam]

That's how you end up in New Orleans with a smoking cigarette.

[AJ Holiday]

Oh, tweet ass. Smoking cigarettes.

[Tan Bam]

Hair stank, dog. I hear stank. I can't believe it. Don't owe a man a relationship because he's not terrible. What? What that singer said. A piece of man is better than no man at all. That's a lie.

[AJ Holiday]

Because he's not terrible. I don't know. Because that's. That sounds like settling, right? Like he's just better than the last. You really don't like him like that. You're still settling. I think women settle often. That's another episode I've been wanting to do. It's compromise, settling versus.

[Tan Bam]

Actually, yeah, but I mean, I think.

[AJ Holiday]

No, like.

[Tan Bam]

So I think you do have to compromise some things. Nobody's gonna come perfect, right? You just gotta figure out what. That's a good topic. We can talk about that, you know?

[AJ Holiday]

Yeah. If he repeats I'm a good guy ask. That's a good one. Because, you know, the relationships I've been in. I realize when a really like this is me figuratively putting my coat on and putting my shoes on and getting the up out of there. Once they realize like I'm really readying to end the relationship, they start being good guys. I mean, I'm getting all. All you can, all you want head all the is going on.

[Tan Bam]

Right.

[AJ Holiday]

But I'm like, you're changing not for me, right? You're changing for the next woman.

[Tan Bam]

You know what? That's a good one. Because I remember this was years ago. I was dealing with this guy. I was like crazy about him. I was like, he's such a good guy. He's so good to his mother. He's such a good grandson. He goes and does all of this thing and he's a good dad. He's such a good guy. But he was good to all those people. But he wasn't good to me, you know, he was like. I just saw how he treated all the people he loved in his life. I mean, he wasn't bad. I won't make it seem like he was bad to me because he was good financially to me, but that was it.

[AJ Holiday]

I know a guy who is community dick. And when I tell you, like, girl, he's opening the door for everybody. He's paying all the checks. Like he's. But he's not committing. He gonna try to smash. Also, he is not committing.

[Tan Bam]

But dude, is he honest? Because if he's honest, he is a good guy.

[AJ Holiday]

No.

[Tan Bam]

So.

[AJ Holiday]

So one day we had this conversation, right? Because his dad has been married a lot of times. His daddy never married his mom though, right? His dad has been married to four different women. Never actually married his mom, right? So his dad is also a womanizer. So you get married, but you also cheat on every wife you have. Right? I think in his mind, if he never commits and if he's 100% honest with women, right? He doesn't ever want to get married. He said he doesn't want any kids, but he gonna fuck the shit out of raw. Okay? He thinks he's better than his dad. I believe subconsciously he never said that, but I think subconsciously he thinks he's better than his dad because he's not getting into relationships with women. But sex is a relationship. Especially having sex without a condom.

[Tan Bam]

Why do you want to have people raw and don't want no relationship with them? It's crazy.

[AJ Holiday]

And because that's how women go crazy, right? Women ain't really studying the condom, dick. I you you don't agree with that because you be using condoms all the time. But listen, no harm, no foul. Some rubber between us, it didn't happen. Actually.

[Tan Bam]

I like, I just sleep better at night with rubber.

[AJ Holiday]

So y', all, you know how you avoid the self proclaim? Good guy, good man. It all starts with you actually, right? Self awareness, okay? Know your boundaries, stick to them. Trust your intuition. Right? Dick will throw intuition out the window, have your ass confused. You know what time it is if you got a little ick about a. You're probably on to something.

[Tan Bam]

And use condoms. I'm g advocate for that every time, cuz you, you.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't be telling people not to.

[Tan Bam]

Yeah, but not no more. You don't tell them not to. But.

[AJ Holiday]

I be talking about my life, I ain't talking about yours. You might not be as lucky.

[Tan Bam]

Living, right?

[AJ Holiday]

Okay, no, look, I haven't been outside like that. Now. I'm just saying, like, usually those are people I end up in relationships with. Oftentimes that's why the relationship starts. Because if you smash me raw, you mine. Are we talking about me? I'm dead and all you, you mine. So basically what you're trying to say is I done smash community draw.

[Tan Bam]

I ain't saying you smash community D raw, but you have had some that were your. Okay.

[AJ Holiday]

I had a who ain't Been my in a long time, not in my 20s. That don't even count, first of all. They don't count. Who else?

[Tan Bam]

Chelsea Boots.

[AJ Holiday]

That was my fucking nigga. He just didn't want to admit that type of shit don't count. Like situationships.

[Tan Bam]

Of course.

[AJ Holiday]

You smashing wrong situations. That's how your ass got into that situation. That is how you got in a situationship. Got lines got blurred when you let him hit that raw. Okay? And he's. He in his nasty ass mind. He's not in a relationship. Right? But like I said, you hit this coochie raw. You my boyfriend. What we talking about? We actually married per the Bible.

[Tan Bam]

Y'. All, let's go ahead out. Let's get going here. Out.

[AJ Holiday]

All right, Maya, mine.

[Tan Bam]

Okay? And when a guy tell you he's a nice guy, keep your eyes on him. Watch that. Yeah, I'm just a nice guy.

[AJ Holiday]

Okay. I'll put him in that rewards program. Remember, we. We came with that rewards program. That one episode. You gotta put him in a loyalty program. Tally is points up. That points up. And see if he's actually a good guy, period. All right, y'.

[Tan Bam]

All.

[AJ Holiday]

Y' all enjoy this episode, y'. All. Tuning every Thursday on the Black Heart.

[Tan Bam]

The Black Heart. That's what I'm gonna have next year if these don't start acting right.

[AJ Holiday]

Y' all tune in every Thursday on the Black, Black, Black Effect, I Heart radio app or wherever you get your podcast at. Okay, girl. AJ Holiday 2.0 on Instagrams. Kick it tan, y'.

[Tan Bam]

All. It's official. Tam Bam on Instagram. I love y'. All. Y' all. Follow our podcast page. We Talk Back Podcast. And don't forget to send us your dumb stories. I always appreciate seeing and reading them and sharing with you our experience. Yeah. And then sharing it with the show. So y' all keep sending us that. Y' all remember. Speak now.

[AJ Holiday]

I don't know.

[Tan Bam]

And never hold your bald head. Yeah, I don't know. This time, just don't with these nice guys. They fake deuces.

[AJ Holiday]

We Talk Back Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[State Farm Narrator]

Whoo.

[Ed Helms]

What a vibe we've got, y'.

[Tan Bam]

All.

[Ed Helms]

As always, it's classic HBCU energy. Nonstop action. The band is rockin. And the crowd lit. Chants, echoing, drums beating. Everybody showing that school pride. Moments like this. Yeah. They call for an ice cold Coca Cola. Crisp and refreshing. That's a game changer right there. Mmm, yeah, that taste always hit the right note. Just like the band at halftime. Passionate fans, school colors everywhere, and an ice cold Coca Cola. That's a winning combo. No matter the place, no matter the moment. Everybody knows fan work is thirsty work. So grab a Coca Cola and keep that HBCU pride going. Ah, greetings from my bath festive friends. The holidays are overwhelming, but I'm tackling this season with PayPal and making the most of my money, getting 5% cash back when I pay in four. No fees, no interest. I used it to get the this portable spa with jets. Now the bubbles can cling to my sculpted but pruny body. Make the most of your money this holiday with PayPal. Save the offer in the app ends.

[Tan Bam]

12:31 see paypal.com promoter points can be.

[AJ Holiday]

Redeemed for cash and more. Paying for subject to terms and approval. PayPal Inc. And MLS 910457 no, it's not too soon to start holiday shopping.

[Diet Coke Narrator]

Ulta Beauty's early Black Friday event is.

[AJ Holiday]

Happening now through November 22nd. Shop $10 beauty minis from brands like Mac and Too Faced. Take 30% off Lancome and Touchland fragrances and body mists. With new offers dropping every week, our associates can help you find the perfect gifts. Head into Ulta Beauty today to shop our early Black Friday event. Ulta Beauty Gifting Happens Here.

[Washable Sofas Narrator]

We know no one's journey is the same. That's why Delta SkyMiles moves with you. From earning miles on reloads for coffee runs, shopping and things you do every day to connecting you to new experiences, a SkyMiles membership fits into your lifestyle, letting you do more of what makes you you. It's more than travel. It's the membership that flies, dines, streams, rides and arrives with you. Because when you have a membership that's as unique as you are, there's no telling where your journey will take you next. Learn [e-mail] SkyMiles the weather outside is frightful, the fire is so delightful, and you're living your best holiday life in Old Navy Jingle Jammies. Because, honestly, it's not the season without them. They're instant spirit wrapped in flannel. Get the whole family in matching sets for the photo, the cocoa, and the big morning. Old Navy has the classics like plaid and plenty of fun new options, too, including exclusive Disney prints. Think Mickey and Friends, Stitch and Angel, even Star Wars Jammies. Find Jingle Jammies and all your festive favorites [e-mail] this is an iHeart podcast.