Elisa (SP/SX 3w2 378) joins us for a rich and layered conversation that weaves together identity, performance, and the relentless pursuit of autonomy. A pole and circus studio founder with a deep instinct for self-reinvention, Elisa moves through life like a well-rehearsed act — equal parts precision and provocation. We talk about what it means to build a life around something still stigmatized by the mainstream, the tension between personal truth and social acceptability, and how visibility can be both a risk and a reclamation. Throughout, Elisa reflects on the roots of her drive — a childhood that demanded self-reliance, an early mistrust of authority, and a bone-deep resistance to being boxed in. We explore the challenges of delegation when control has always been survival, and the vulnerability required to teach, lead, and create in front of others. There’s a powerful thread here about embodiment as empowerment: how performance can become a site of healing, defiance, and radical honesty.

LINKS

Learn at The Enneagram School

https://theenneagramschool.com/

Intro Course

https://www.theenneagramschool.com/intro-enneagram-course

Get Typed

https://www.enneagrammer.com/

Sinsomnia Podcast (Dreams)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sinsomnia/id1684154994

House of Enneagram

https://www.youtube.com/@houseofenneagram

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 - Intro

03:30 - Social blind 3 running a circus & pole studio, 'expansion' definition as triple assertive, 3's pride of business

09:19 - Perception as a social blind 3, trust and autonomy in business, being an 'idea machine'

16:34 - Sp/sx importance of atmosphere, eroticism within career

26:19 - Approval of parents as a type 3, being consumed with a fire to fulfill 'who I am', struggling during COVID and taking things personally

35:59 - Core 3 'keeps a lid' on energetic 7 and 8 fixes, 3 believing "I can do anything", learning the 'social game' in business

42:31 - Being curious in the social instinct, tracking others' gaze/values, 3w2 anticipating others' needs but not clocking social nuances

50:29 - Instructor experience, impersonal impact on others, relating to control in relationships

61:15 - Separation/boundaries in professional relationships, seeking or deflecting validation, vulnerability in the sexual instinct and performance

01:13:18 - Being a competence type, honing your craft, having an interest vs running a business, obsession with self-improvement

01:24:26 - Childhood reflections; energetic and unfiltered, not participating in early school institutions

01:34:59 - Self-worth vs social accolades, the role of teachers, seeking essential value through productivity

01:43:07 - Not identifying with victimhood, difficulties accepting help/delegation, being an emotional support child, hyper-independence

01:52:54 - Putting whole self into work, delivering excellence, 3w2 empathy can override necessary negative interactions

02:00:05 - Outro

CREDITS

Interview by Josh Lavine

Edited by Kristen Oberly

Music by Coma-Media from Pixabay

Coma-Media: https://pixabay.com/users/coma-media-24399569/

Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/

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#61: Elisa (SP/SX 3w2 378) - Erotic Atmospheres, Mastering the Social Game, and Building a Business from the Bones of Hyper-Independence

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