Welcome to the When Grief Comes Home podcast. We're glad you're here. This podcast supports parents who are grieving a spouse, partner, or child while helping their children who are living through the loss of a parent or sibling. With personal grief stories and professional guidance, we offer parents practical tips for supporting their child who is grieving while caring for their own grief.

When grieving, we desperately need what therapist Kristi Gaultiere calls "oxygen for the soul" – empathy. Not quick fixes or sympathetic platitudes, but the profound healing that comes through being truly seen in our pain.

In this illuminating conversation, Kristi unpacks why empathy transforms grief by allowing us to breathe through unbearable moments. Research shows that when someone responds to our vulnerability with genuine understanding, our whole body responds – energy increases, fatigue decreases, sleep improves, and our ability to concentrate returns. Without this empathetic connection, we remain isolated in our pain, unable to process our grief effectively.

Kristi walks us through her practical Four A's framework for offering empathy: Ask curious questions, Attune completely to the person, Acknowledge the unique significance of their loss, and Affirm their strength (but only after the first three steps). She clarifies crucial distinctions between healthy empathy and codependency, explaining how true empathy empowers while codependency drains both parties.

For parents navigating their own grief while supporting children, Kristi offers wisdom about self-empathy and befriending our emotions. When we judge or shame ourselves for feelings like anger or sadness, our children learn to suppress their emotions too. By modeling acceptance of our grief, we create safe spaces for our children to process theirs.

Most powerfully, Kristi reminds us that our wounds can become sources of healing for others. Through our grief journey, we develop deeper capacity for empathy – turning our pain into a gift that helps others feel less alone. Whether you're grieving, supporting someone who is, or simply want to become more empathetic, this episode offers practical wisdom and heartfelt guidance for the journey ahead.

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Deeply Loved: Receiving and Reflecting Empathy in the Midst of Grief