BONUS: Tan France

Summary

Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

Episode: BONUS: Tan France
Release Date: May 29, 2026
Guests: Tan France, Sophia Roe

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Episode Overview

In this playful bonus episode, Sophia Bush brings back special guest Tan France (with a cameo from Sophia Roe) for a lighthearted round of “Honorable Gays”—a recurring segment inspired by Reddit’s “Am I the Asshole?” threads. The trio dives deep into a contentious wedding dilemma that sparks a broader, insightful (and very real) conversation about friendship, identity, wedding culture, and the pressure to prioritize aesthetics over authenticity. Tan and Sophia examine the roots of their own opinions, drawing on personal experiences, their friendship, and a healthy dose of judgment, humor, and warmth.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Introduction to "Honorable Gays"

[02:45–05:10]

• Sophia Bush explains her obsession with Reddit’s “AITA?” and how it inspired the Honorable Gays segment. She notes her joy in seeing the format popularized and credits Tan and Sophia Roe for bringing queer perspectives to the discussion.
• The rules: read a scenario, debate both sides, and (with a dash of sass and judgment) decide if the subject is “the asshole.”

“You sort of made this show for me. Thank you very much. I love as well that people are getting to see not only your personality, but some inside queer culture on YouTube. Thanks to this show.” – Sophia Bush [03:04]

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Wedding Reddit Dilemma: The Goth Bridesmaid

[05:11–10:51]

• Tan reads the scenario: A bride asks her bridesmaid—a longtime friend known for her traditional goth makeup—not to wear her signature look at the wedding, preferring light, natural makeup for everyone. The bridesmaid pushes back, feeling that this denies her self-expression. The bride offers a compromise (guest status), but fears losing the friendship over “something small.” Is the bride the asshole?
• Immediate reactions: Both hosts revel in the drama of wedding stories, acknowledging the inherent tension of imposing aesthetic expectations on friends.
• The guests reflect on the distinction between considerate and overbearing requests.

"You can't make your goth emo friend be a dainty queen just because it’s your wedding. She’s your friend. If you love her and respect her, let her wear the makeup that makes her feel most comfortable." – Sophia Roe [10:46]

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Weighing Both Sides: Compromise vs. Selfhood

[10:52–14:01]

• Roe empathizes with both parties—understanding the bride’s desire for harmony, but arguing makeup is as integral to selfhood as hair or body type:

  "I'm imagining if her makeup is like my hair... It's how I feel most people in the world... It's really harsh to say to your friend, 'Hey, I'm happy with how you are every other day, but today I want you to be a different person to make me happy.'" – Sophia Roe [09:04]

• Tan acknowledges the bride’s intentions, but notes the harm in the lack of direct, personal communication:

  "The issue I have with this is the lack of an upfront conversation… I bet if this woman had been proactive about this conversation, it would have gone a completely different [way]." – Tan France [12:00]

• Both agree: early, compassionate conversations could preempt hurt feelings.

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The “Soft Asshole” Verdict

[13:54–16:31]

• The group invents the concept of a “soft asshole”—someone not acting maliciously, but still missing the mark.

  “What we call it on the show is a soft asshole.” – Sophia Roe [13:56]

• They reflect on how weddings often prompt people to lose perspective and prioritize aesthetics over relationships.
• Tan shares about his own wedding, which was less prescriptive and more personalized.

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The Problem with Wedding Aesthetics & Social Media

[16:32–18:34]

• The core critique: Modern wedding culture—driven by Instagram and the quest for the perfect photo—often pressures people to choose looks and lineups over friendship and well-being.

  “Aesthetics are the asshole because… they've ruined our society where we think that it’s more important to have this aesthetically pleasing photo than caring about your friend's feelings.” – Sophia Roe [16:15]

• The subject broadens to body image and dress codes, cementing weddings (and Instagram) as “the true villains.”

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Reflection: Red Flags, Marriage, and Priorities

[23:05–26:52]

• Tan relates personal and observed experiences: a rash of divorces among friends, leading him to question the emphasis on weddings over marriage itself.

  "When did I start compromising myself? … If you were going to elope in the backyard with your person, would you still love it? … That's the question I ask." – Tan France [24:33]

• Roe shares a more cynical—but honest—litmus test:

  “The bigger the wedding, the more likely the marriage is to fail.” – Sophia Roe [25:01]

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Closing Moments: Humor, Family, and Friendship

[27:02–28:36]

• The episode ends with warm, irreverent chatter about pandemic Zoom “AITA?” sessions, Tan seeing Sophia’s baby, and a running joke about British vs. American pronunciations (“tomato”).
• The easy friendship and playful teasing underscore the episode’s core message: Authentic relationships—messy and real—should always win out over performative perfection.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On selfhood at weddings:
  “If somebody wanted me to dye my hair because I was the only person that didn’t have black hair at a South Asia[n] wedding… it’s me. Like, it's how I feel most people in the world.” – Sophia Roe [09:04]
• On honest conversations:
  “You gotta love your people for who they are.” – Tan France [16:51]
• On the true ‘villain’:
  “I think my biggest... do you know what the asshole is, Sophia? The asshole of the story is weddings in general.” – Sophia Roe [18:08]
• On priorities:
  "If you tell me you’re getting married, I say: Oh my God, congratulations. If you tell me you’re getting a divorce, I say: Oh my God, congratulations. To both." – Tan France [24:50]

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment / Topic | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:45 | Sophia introduces the "Honorable Gays" AITA segment | | 05:11 | Tan reads the Reddit wedding scenario | | 08:06 | Sophia Roe argues both sides and stakes her position | | 10:46 | Sophia Roe delivers her closing argument on self-expression vs. aesthetics | | 12:00 | Tan calls out the lack of direct personal communication | | 13:54 | Introduction of the “soft asshole” verdict | | 16:31 | Sophia: “Aesthetics are the asshole” | | 18:08 | “Weddings in general are the asshole…” – deepening the critique | | 23:05 | Tan shares his new marriage/divorce “litmus test” | | 25:01 | Sophia’s “the bigger the wedding, the more likely it is to fail” statement | | 27:02 | Outro: pandemic Zoom AITA parties & “tomato” pronunciation jokes |

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Tone & Style

• Conversational, witty, and candid: The guests don’t hold back their opinions but keep the tone playful and accessible.
• Mix of personal anecdote and cultural critique: The conversation flows naturally between Reddit scenarios, personal stories, and broader reflections.
• Inclusive and perceptive: The hosts bring both queer and mainstream perspectives, always centering empathy and friendship.

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Takeaways

• Weddings can bring out both the best and worst in people, especially when aesthetic expectations conflict with honoring individuality.
• Direct, compassionate communication with friends is crucial in navigating difficult requests.
• Prioritizing looks or Instagram moments over genuine relationships is a cultural trend worth questioning—and, perhaps, fighting against.
• Sometimes, being a "soft asshole" is about being human, but the episode encourages listeners to choose people over perfection.

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Transcript

[Podcast Host (Health Segment)]

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[Pharmaceutical Advertiser]

Xolair Omalizumab is proven to significantly reduce allergic reactions if a food allergy accident happens. Xolair 150mg is a prescription medication used to treat food allergy in people 1 year of age and older to reduce allergic reactions due to accidental exposure to one or more foods while taking Xolair. You should continue to avoid all foods to which you are allergic. Don't use if you are allergic to Xolair. Xolair may cause a severe life threatening allergic reaction called anaphylaxis. Tell your doctor if you have ever had anaphylaxis. Get help right away if you have trouble breathing or if you have swelling of your throat or tongue. Xolair should not be used for the emergency treatment of allergic reactions including anaphylaxis. Xolair is for maintenance use to reduce allergic reactions, including anaphylaxis while avoiding food allergens. Serious side effects such as cancer, fever, muscle aches and rash, parasitic infection or heart and circulation problems have been reported. Please see xolair.com for full prescribing information. Ask an allergist about Xolair. This is an advertisement for Xolair paid for by Genentech and Novartis.

[Tea Brand Advertiser]

Want to instantly elevate your hosting this season? T forte makes it feel effortless. Known for their signature Pyramid teas topped with the iconic leaf, T forte Elevates everything from a casual brunch to a summer dinner party. And when you need a thoughtful gift, their tea chests and curated gift sets are absolutely gorgeous. No wrapping required. Perfect for birthdays, bridal showers, thank you gifts, and celebrating life's everyday moments. T forte feels luxurious, personal and genuinely memorable every single time. Shop [e-mail] or on Amazon.

[Tan France]

And now a quick break from our sponsor, Miracle Gro. Life is digitally distracted and time starved, but gardening is the perfect way to unplug. It isn't just about plants. It's about trading the digital noise for a quiet way to reconnect with yourself. Whether you're in an apartment or you've never even touched a shovel, don't let self doubt stop you. With 75 years of expertise, Miracle Gro takes the stress out of the process and makes it pure Joy. Head to miraclegrow.com to check out all of their easy to use products and start your growth journey today. Hi everyone, it's Sophia. Welcome to work in progress. Friends, I could not let Tan go without actually playing an honorable gays round with him. I because as I mentioned last time, I love nothing more than these Reddit threads. There are people who post them on certain social accounts that my friends and I follow, and it's kind of like the break we take in the middle of a workday is to go, have you seen this one? So I feel like you sort of made this show for me. Thank you very much. I love as well that people are getting to see not only your personality, but some inside queer culture on YouTube. Thanks to this show. So for friends who are joining us newly today, the whole way this works, if you've seen them, are there are a series of threads on Reddit called Am I the Asshole? Where somebody explains a problem, they're trying to figure out what's going on. You're required if you're going to do this in a reading to be a little sassy and a little judgy, obviously in good fun. Does that part come naturally to you after all these years on reality tv?

[Sophia Roe]

Absolutely. Easy. Yeah, easy.

[Tan France]

Okay. Fab. Well, I'd like to see if I'm cut out to be your honorable.

[Sophia Roe]

Well, we're calling anyone who joins our honorary gay. Even if they're honorary gay.

[Tan France]

Yeah. Well, an honorary. Yeah, I can take the place of a gay man in this episode, I suppose. So I'm into it. Okay. I'm gonna read you a situation.

[Sophia Roe]

Great.

[Tan France]

And we'll see.

[Sophia Roe]

Oh my gosh. This one I know, I'm Really? I do this with my girlfriends. It's my favorite thing.

[Tan France]

It's so fun. And this one actually feels really pressing, especially given the queer eye of it all.

[Sophia Roe]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

Am I the asshole for asking my friend not to wear makeup to my wedding? I recently asked my close friend Devin to be a bridesmaid for my wedding. We've been friends since high school, and I was very excited to have her by my side. I put together baskets for my bridesmaids that included a printed list of the dress code for the wedding.

[Sophia Roe]

Oh, I already smell trouble. Go on.

[Tan France]

I know. I'm so anxious I'm sweating. The list included that I wanted them all to wear a green dress in any style or shade.

[Sophia Roe]

Okay.

[Tan France]

So silver heels.

[Sophia Roe]

Okay.

[Tan France]

And light natural makeup. I do plan on having a makeup artist there day of to do the girl's makeup. For context, Devin typically dressed dresses in a very traditional goth style with white light base, heavy black eyeliner, etc. I love her style and I think she looks absolutely beautiful in it. However, that's not the look I'm going for at my wedding.

[Sophia Roe]

Okay.

[Tan France]

She texted me a few hours after I gave her the basket saying, so I'm not allowed to wear my makeup to the wedding. I explained to her that if she wanted to be a bridesmaid, she'd have to adhere to my dress code, but she was welcome to just come as a guest and dress in her normal style. She responded basically saying, if you don't want me to be myself, I don't need to be there at all. I told her I wasn't trying to change who she is. I just want her to match the rest of the bridesmaids for one day. She got upset and said, I care more about a photo than my friend's comfort. I feel like I was being really reasonable and even offered a compromise. But I also don't want to lose a friend over something this small. Am I the asshole?

[Sophia Roe]

Ooh, gosh, I love this one. Oh, my God. I love wedding ones. Okay, we'll see this on honorable Gays. Our first. Oh, God, my shirt. Am I wrong? The first few episodes are wedding episodes. I wanted to do a full season of Wedding because I love a wedding story. Yes, I've got my own wedding story. And one day I want to share it wasn't. It was when I was a part of the bridal party. Oh my gosh, it's so good. But I'm too scared to tell it because this person's going to know. Okay.

[Tan France]

Oh, we have to figure out a Way to tell that story.

[Sophia Roe]

No. Okay. Actually, weirdly enough, that's how this whole show came to be because of my experience in.

[Tan France]

Stop.

[Sophia Roe]

Yes.

[Tan France]

Oh, my God, we have so much to talk about when the world is not listening.

[Sophia Roe]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Tan France]

Continue.

[Sophia Roe]

Okay, wait. You read the story. So it's. So if whoever reads the story, they can't go first. But I really want your take first. However. Okay, here's how Honorable Gaze goes. We discuss it and then we come to a decision. But because of who I am and how I am wired, I always have my opinion locked and loaded. And I refuse because I'm. So.

[Tan France]

You refuse to change.

[Sophia Roe]

However, you could potentially convince me. So, okay, I'm gonna play the role of Eric and Rob today and give my arguments. I'm gonna give two and two and against or foreign? Against. Sorry. Okay. You can make. You could be the judge. You can play me. First off, I do appreciate that she gave a loose list of. Okay, it's just gotta be green. Does have to be a certain particular green. It could be whatever kind of dress. Just has to be a green. That is somewhat considerate because we've heard some stories on honorable gays where they are nowhere near as kind. So that's a good start. Light makeup, I kind of get like, you want your. Your pictures to be.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Sophia Roe]

Aesthetically pleasing or your way. You are going to post them on social. So I know that you want it to have a certain vibe. I get it. So that's the nice side of me. The real side of me is I also kind of feel for the bridesmaid thinking I'm already gonna wear the dress. It seems like the dress isn't the issue. So she'll wear the dress. She'll wear the silver shoes. She's making a compromise when it comes to makeup. There are certain things that feel so you. To really lay this argument down. I'm imagining if her makeup is like my hair, if somebody wanted me to dye my hair because I was the only person that didn't have black hair at South Asia wedding. I'm the only one that didn't have black hair. So I was going to ruin the photos, I think, but this is. It's me. Like, it's how I feel most people in the world. And I don't want to pretend to be somebody else that day. I don't want to costume that day because you're my friend and I love you and this is all you've always known me as this. And so I think it's really harsh to say to your friend. Hey, I'm happy with how you are every other day of your life, but today I want you to be a different person to make me happy. Does that seem like a dick move? A little bit. And so, okay, I guess I've come up with my argument. Okay. My closing statement is this. Some light suggestions for your bridesmaids is appropriate. But when it comes to something that truly represents who they are and what will make them comfortable, I think you have to have some wiggle room. And I think it is a. It's way harsh. Do you know the term way hashtag? That's my hashtag. You can't make your goth emo friend be a dainty queen just because it's your wedding. She's your friend. If you love her and respect her, let her wear the makeup that makes her feel most comfortable.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Sophia Roe]

Do you think I'm wrong?

[Tan France]

It's. This one is so hard. It's so hard because I get. Listen, if. If one day in your life gets to be about you, it's supposed to be your wedding.

[Sophia Roe]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

And I understand that. Look, here's what's hard for me. I don't have a visual. You know, Are we talking Gene Simmons from Kiss? Like, so if we're talking about my

[Sophia Roe]

visual, to be fair, something like that.

[Tan France]

Like, if it's full hardcore goth, black lipstick, like, the whole. Whatever, you know, all the. All the things. I understand that. That wouldn't exactly fit the vibe.

[Sophia Roe]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

What I will actually say is now having read this twice, because I read it before we got on Zoom, and then I'm rereading it. The issue I have with this is the lack of an upfront conversation like this. The bride passed out baskets to all the women like they were going to be taken in the same way.

[Sophia Roe]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

When the makeup thing was, she knew would be personal for this friend of so long. And then the friend texted, and I'm like, you gotta have the kindness to say, hey, I'm prepping this thing. I'm gonna give everyone their baskets tomorrow. Like, invite her out for a drink, go over for a snack at the house, and just say, I don't want this to come off terribly. And, you know, I think you're, like, magnificent and hot, and I love this vibe for you, and I love your whole look, and I love your, I don't know, whatever, piercings, combat boots, whatever it is. Would you be comfortable at my wedding, like, matching all the other bridesmaids a little more? I just want everything to feel super seamless, and that might Seem silly. It's just what I'm envisioning for my day. But I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. I bet if this woman had been proactive about this conversation, it would have gone a completely different.

[Sophia Roe]

I agree, I agree. I agree. I also wonder if not just having the conversation, making it very clear that okay, maybe this is a silly suggestion, but if it was one of my close, close friends, I would say if. If it is an issue for you, I completely understand. If you don't want to buy and then no big deal and I won't be offended whatsoever. I love you. And if you. If this just isn't for you and if it's going to make you feel uncomfortable, I understand if you don't want to be. So I'm giving you the option. I would love for you to be my bridesmaid, but I would like my wedding to go like this. So if you were okay with that, I want you desperately to be my bridesmaid. But if you don't want to, it's okay. And I won't be offended, but I would love for you to be there. Yeah, you're there with me.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Sophia Roe]

So yeah, that would be mine. So is the op an asshole is what you're saying?

[Tan France]

I don't think she meant to be.

[Sophia Roe]

What we call it on the show is a soft asshole.

[Tan France]

Uh huh. It's a soft asshole.

[Sophia Roe]

It's a soft asshole. Because I don't. Here's the thing. Weddings make people go crazy. I. Did you have a. Did you. Are you married to your partner right now? Are you together?

[Tan France]

We're together. Yeah.

[Sophia Roe]

Okay. Okay. Your wedding. Can we refer.

[Tan France]

Yes, I had. Yes, I had a. I had a. The wedding that Pinterest built was so beautiful.

[Sophia Roe]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. So did you have them all matching? Did you have to have. No, you didn't do that. Okay. Okay.

[Tan France]

And I had men in my bridal party and like, you know, everything was so.

[Sophia Roe]

Okay, here's the thing I'm going to say that's going to hurt so so many of you out there who have done this. I think that we put our own feelings before our friends feelings or our own feelings about a vibe and an aesthetic over our friends true emotions. And so if I knew that some of my friends weren't going to match in, I would just think I'm going to keep making it easier. I'm just going to have one person, if anybody to be my like maid of honor or something or my groomsman. And therefore I'm going To mitigate hurting my friends. I rather that over the aesthetic. I think we care too much about the aesthetic now.

[Tan France]

I. Yeah, yeah. The aesthetics have taken on such a thing that I just don't think they need to. And I will say, I think also sometimes you can get so caught up in that part that it can take the place of what's really important. And I will say, I will be vulnerable and say this is my own experience. Looking back, I realize we were so focused on the project that we weren't looking at the fact that, like, the thesis was missing, if you will. That's the kindest way I can say that. So it's like, if you're so obsessed with what these photos are gonna look like, what might you be missing in the emotion? Yeah. I think when people are too focused on the details, it's because there's a lack of something really important going on. Not to, you know, send this op to therapy, but it might be worth a question. Maybe now I'm the asshole.

[Sophia Roe]

No, no, no, no. You are so fair. Basically, what we're saying then is aesthetics are the asshole because they. They've ruined our society where we think that it's more important to have this aesthetically pleasing photo than caring about your friend's feelings.

[Tan France]

Yeah. And by the way, it's not like this is your best friend of five years. This is someone you've been friends with since high school. She always looks like this. You know, if that's really who she is. I think the conversation needs to be more delicate to say, would you be willing to shift the vibe a little?

[Sophia Roe]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

And if not, truly, no worries.

[Sophia Roe]

Yeah.

[Tan France]

Like, you gotta. You gotta love your people for who they are.

[Sophia Roe]

Yeah. So can I give you a sneak or. Yeah, I guess it is a sneak peek or a teaser of one of our stories. One of our stories on Honorable Days again, because I love wedding stories so much, is somebody's build. One of the bridesmaids builds was different to the other bridesmaids. And what she's saying without obviously saying it, is one of her bridesmaids was larger and taller than the others. And so therefore she was ruining air quotes, the photos. And I sat there thinking, I know this story because this has happened at a friend's wedding of mine. Like, we went to. I didn't know my friend was being invited to be a bridesmaid at somebody's wedding. I didn't know. And I was like, you need to cut that bitch out of your life. Like, she doesn't want you in your photo. In the photos because you, you in your dress don't look as smelt as everybody else in their dress. She chose a bodycon dress for everyone. Of course that wasn't gonna be perfect for all of her friends. It's not. No one's going to feel confident in that.

[Tan France]

That is a hate crime.

[Sophia Roe]

I know it's a hate crime, period. She, that person was playing the asshole in that situation. And so I think my biggest do you know what the asshole is? Sophia? The the asshole of the story is weddings in general.

[Tan France]

Instagram.

[Sophia Roe]

I'm going to call it American General. Weddings in general are the asshole because they've encouraged us to behave like mean people to our friends and family. I just think what happened to back in the day when they're gonna wear whatever they wanna wear. You're gonna have your day. You've got 16 bridesmaids. You've got just one. You're there to speak with your husband. Who gives a shit. If your friend gives a shit the body that you think she needs to have on that day, it doesn't matter.

[Tan France]

And now a word from our sponsors who make this show possible.

[Podcast Host (Health Segment)]

Let's take a minute to unpack the myths behind GLP1 drugs. Myth number one GLP1 is a long term solution for weight loss true GLP1 can potentially be a long term solution for weight loss if you want to be on a drug that changes your body's natural instincts. GLP1 can fix your metabolism. False. GLP1s fix hunger and this leads to weight loss. But the GLP1s may actually slow down your metabolic rate as your body adjusts to consuming fewer calories. GLP1 leads to a loss of muscle mass. True GLP1 can lead to a loss of muscle mass due to losing weight so rapidly that your body is pulling from both fat and muscle to make up for the energy gap from consuming so few calories. If you're looking for a natural GLP1 therapy, you should consider Metabolism Ignite. Metabolism Ignite is powered by plants and can help boost your natural GLP 1. Visit VeracityHealth Co to learn more. That's V E R A C I T Y Health Co and type in promo code IHEART for up to 65% off your purchase.

[Pharmaceutical Advertiser]

Xolair Omalizumab is proven to significantly reduce allergic reactions if a food allergy accident happens. Xolair 150mg is a prescription medication used to treat food allergy in people 1 year of age and older to reduce allergic reactions due to accidental exposure to one or more foods while taking Xolair. You should continue to avoid all foods to which you are allergic. Don't use if you are allergic to Xolair. Xolair may cause a severe life threatening allergic reaction called anaphylaxis. Tell your doctor if you have ever had anaphylaxis. Get help right away if you have trouble breathing or if you have swelling of your throat or tongue. Xolair should not be used for the emergency treatment of allergic reactions including anaphylaxis. Xolair is for maintenance use to reduce allergic reactions including anaphylaxis while avoiding food allergens. Serious side effects such as cancer, fever, muscle aches and rash, parasitic infection, or heart and circulation problems have been reported. Please see xolair.com for full prescribing information. Ask an allergist about Xolair this is an advertisement for Xolair paid for by Genentech and Novartis.

[Tan France]

And now a break from our sponsor, Miracle Grow. Let's be real. We're all feeling a little digitally distracted and time starved lately. We're craving real connections and ways to unplug. And honestly, gardening is the ultimate way to do this. It isn't just about plants. It's about trading the digital noise for a quiet win. As you pour your energy into helping something grow, you're pouring a sense of calm and connection back into yourself too. If you're in an apartment or you've never even touched a shovel, don't let self doubt stop you. With 75 years of expertise, Miracle Gro takes the stress out of the process and makes it pure joy. And let me tell you what I can confirm this. From the garden I love spending time in outdoors in Los Angeles to my little potted plants where I grow herbs indoors in New York, I love working with plants. And I love Miracle Gro because whether I'm doing something in the soil or potting something in the apartment, Miracle Gro takes the best care of my plants. So my plants can help take care of me. And here's the big secret. Most people think water and sunlight are enough. But no, no. Your plants actually need more to truly thrive. Whether it's starting with the right soil foundation or giving plants the boost they need to stay vibrant with plant food, our friends at Miracle Gro have all the essentials to make growing simple and stress free. Head to miraclegro.com to check out all of their easy to use products and start your growth journey today.

[Tea Brand Advertiser]

Want to instantly elevate your hosting this season. T forte makes it feel effortless. Known for their signature pyramid teas topped with the iconic leaf tea, Forte elevates everything from a casual brunch to a summer dinner party. And when you need a thoughtful gift, their tea chests and curated gift sets are absolutely gorgeous. No wrapping required. Perfect for birthdays, bridal showers, thank you gifts, and celebrating life's everyday moments. T forte feels luxurious, personal, and genuinely memorable every single time. Shop [e-mail] or on Amazon.

[Tan France]

You know what? I think my new litmus test, and maybe this comes from the fact that half of my closest friends all got divorced in the same summer, myself included. Yeah, it was a really interesting reckoning because half of us were going through divorces, and then a half of the other half of our friend group was all pregnant. And I was like, what is happening? Like, this is a reality show gone sideways. It was funny and tragic and beautiful and all the things. And one of the things when. When so many people reflect on, you know, now that I really have admitted this to myself, now that I really see it, when did I start ignoring the red flags? When did I start compromising myself? When did I tell myself, you know, this was part of it? And I think there really can be something, too. What? You're living up to this big dream. This thing for your parents, this thing for your whole family. You're so caught up in the planning of something that you might not be paying attention to the minutiae in your home. And so now my litmus test for anyone who tells me they want to get married. And to be clear, I love love, obviously, or I wouldn't be here. Like, I'm a sucker for it. But my whole thing. If you tell me you're getting married, I say, oh, my God. Congratulations. If you tell me you're getting a divorce, I say, oh, my God. Congratulation. To both. To both. I say, is there anything I can do to help? But when people tell me they want to get married now, my question is, if you were going to elope in the backyard with your person, would you still love it? And a parent or a friend and just that, Would you still want to get married? If no one was going to be there to watch, would you marry this person? That's the question I ask.

[Sophia Roe]

Now, that's fair. Okay, I have a version of that which is way meaner.

[Tan France]

Tell me this is why you're the judge, Tim. Lay it on us.

[Sophia Roe]

And this is. This is such an insane blanket statement. I know this is not true. It's just My general feeling, the bigger wedding, the bigger the wedding, the more likely that marriage is to fail. For me, I've been to some fancy pants weddings in the last few years. They've been gorgeous. But at every turn of thought, I think you focus so much on this gorgeous wedding and they are amazing. Don't get wrong, they've done an amazing event.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Sophia Roe]

You should have gone down to town hall and just arrange. Be a producer for a living, be a wedding. But if you like, you just want to arrange an incredible wedding. Arrange somebody else's something.

[Tan France]

Yeah.

[Sophia Roe]

Need a 30 foot trail, a train. You don't need 10,000 people at your wedding. Just if it's about your marriage, make it be about your marriage, not the wedding.

[Tan France]

Yeah, yeah. I'm telling you, sometimes you, you embark on a project with someone and then when the wedding's over, you become the project. And that's a big no. No.

[Sophia Roe]

Yeah. And also, I know this is such a given, but if you are going into so much debt because you've got a massive, massive, incredible wedding, don't get wrong. I know it's a gorgeous wedding and I know we've got likes on Instagram and every girl wants to wear the dress you wore. I understand that. But you're doing, you're basically your wedding, it's content. It's not your marriage. You should not get into debt for that. Because I would tell you the next 20 years are going to be rough when you can't afford to pay all that wedding back. You're off to such a rough start when you grant worth of debt because

[Tan France]

of that wedding, elope and start a small business instead.

[Sophia Roe]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Tan France]

Right.

[Sophia Roe]

Absolutely.

[Tan France]

Okay, so esthetics are to blame. Big weddings need to be done.

[Sophia Roe]

So the article is in this order. Big weddings, aesthetic expectation for social media and soft.

[Tan France]

The op. We've done it.

[Sophia Roe]

I need to know that this I've been doing for about five years actually. Also we did it a lot during COVID Me and my girlfriends would. There's a story. Here's a story. Or give your opinion. Weigh in.

[Podcast Host (Health Segment)]

Oh my God, I love it.

[Sophia Roe]

Absolutely.

[Tan France]

Please invite me to those zooms. That's the hang I want to be on.

[Sophia Roe]

So funny. And it gets so ludicrous. It gets so ludicrous.

[Tan France]

Oh, I love it. Oh, Tan, I'm so happy for you. I'm so happy to see you.

[Sophia Roe]

Thank you so much.

[Tan France]

So happy. I got to see the baby.

[Sophia Roe]

Just so you know. So you guys aren't going to get to see the baby?

[Tan France]

No, but I got to see the baby. Sorry, I don't say that to be mean to the audience, but I did get to see the baby.

[Sophia Roe]

See my young guest. Who is it? Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Love of. He just started to say words properly if it's gorgeous.

[Tan France]

Oh, does. Wait, does he have your accent?

[Sophia Roe]

He has a bit of. So weirdly enough, they both start with my accent and then they grow out of my accent. So.

[Tan France]

Right.

[Sophia Roe]

My youngest spoke with such an English accent and now my current youngest speaks with such an English accent. Sorry. Such a strong English accent. But then the first word that changes is tomato. And then as soon as it changes to tomato, I know I've lost them.

[Tan France]

Oh, the shift.

[Sophia Roe]

Tomatoes, man.

[Tan France]

Tomatoes.

[Sophia Roe]

Those tomatoes are ruining.

[Tan France]

Tomatoes are. The tomatoes are the.

[Sophia Roe]

They've ruined my life. I just want a tomato and can't get one out. My kids. And then my eldest will now correct me. He's saying that wrong, like I am. Don't you dare talk to me like that.

[Tan France]

That is a knife in the heart. That is also a hate crime. He doesn't even know what that means yet. Thanks for coming. So much fun.

[Sophia Roe]

Not very good at this.

[Tan France]

Thanks. I just like to hang out with people I like.

[Sophia Roe]

It's very nice. Very nice. It's lovely. Whatever your ring light is, I need that because.

[Tan France]

Oh, I'll send you the whole. My whole setup is very good.

[Sophia Roe]

Oh, it's very. Yeah, that's very.

[Tan France]

It's just one light, but it has a. Like, you know when you're on set and they put the silks in front of the kinos, it has like a mini silk.

[Sophia Roe]

Wow.

[Tan France]

It's a nice light.

[Sophia Roe]

Yeah, it's really good light.

[Tan France]

We have so much to text about.

[Sophia Roe]

I know. And I will see you when I'm next label to have a catch up. Catch up.

[Tan France]

I would love it.

[Sophia Roe]

I would love that. All right.

[Tan France]

Okay, honey. Bye bye, my love.

[Sophia Roe]

Have a good day.

[Podcast Host (Health Segment)]

Let's take a minute to unpack the myths behind GLP1 drugs. GLP1 is a long term solution for weight loss. True. GLP1 can potentially be a long term solution for weight loss. If you want to be on a drug that changes your body's natural instincts. GLP1 can fix your metabolism. False. GLP1s fix hunger. And this leads to weight loss. But the GLP1s may actually slow down your metabolic rate as your body adjusts to consuming fewer calories. GLP1 leads to a loss of muscle mass. True. GLP1 can lead to a loss of muscle mass due to losing weight so rapidly. That your body is pulling from both fat and muscle to make up for the energy gap from consuming so few calories. If you're looking for a natural GLP1 therapy, you should consider Metabolism Ignite Metabolism Ignite is powered by plants and can help boost your natural GLP 1. Visit VeracityHealth Co to learn more. That's V E R A C I T Y Health Co and type in promo code IHEART for up to 65% off your purchase.

[Tan France]

And now a quick break from our sponsor Miracle Gro. Life is digitally distracted and time starved, but gardening is the perfect way to unplug. It isn't just about plants, it's about trading the digital noise for a quiet way to reconnect with yourself. Whether you're in an apartment or you've never even touched a shop shovel, don't let self doubt stop you. With 75 years of expertise, Miracle Gro takes the stress out of the process and makes it pure Joy. Head to miraclegro.com to check out all of their easy to use products and start your growth journey today.

[Pharmaceutical Advertiser]

Xolair Omalizumab is proven to significantly reduce allergic reactions if a food allergy accident happens. Xolair 150mg is a prescription medication used to treat food allergy in people 1 year of age and older than to reduce allergic reactions due to accidental exposure to one or more foods. While taking Xolair, you should continue to avoid all foods to which you are allergic. Don't use if you are allergic to Xolair. Xolair may cause a severe, life threatening allergic reaction called anaphylaxis. Tell your doctor if you have ever had anaphylaxis. Get help right away if you have trouble breathing or if you have swelling of your throat or tongue. Xolair should not be used for the emergency treatment of allergic reactions including anaphylaxis. Xolair is for maintenance use to reduce allergic reactions including anaphylaxis while avoiding food allergens. Serious side effects such as cancer, fever, muscle aches and rash, parasitic infection or heart and circulation problems have been reported. Please see xolair.com for full prescribing information. Ask an allergist about Xolair. This is an advertisement for Xolair paid for by Genentech and Novartis.

[Tea Brand Advertiser]

Want to instantly elevate your hosting this season? T forte makes it feel effortless. Best known for their signature Pyramid Teas topped with the iconic leaf, T forte delivers premium blends that are served in luxury hotels and restaurants around the world. From casual brunches to summer dinner parties, T forte makes every place setting feel instantly elevated thanks to its beautiful presentation and thoughtful design. And when you're in need of the perfect gift tea, Forte offers elegant tea chests, teaware, and curated gift sets that require no extra wrapping. It's an easy way to make birthdays, bridal showers, thank you gifts, and everyday celebrations feel more intentional. T Forte strikes the balance between luxury and simplicity, turning even the smallest gathering into something memorable. It's the kind of detail that stands out in the moment and leaves a lasting impression your guests will remember. Shop [e-mail] or on Amazon.

[Tan France]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.