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- [00:00]
Hayley Kiyoko
This is an I Heart Podcast, Guaranteed
- [00:03]
Metabolism Ignite Sponsor
human, a doubly certified OB GYN and endocrinologist doctor, a naturopathic doctor and a certified health coach walk into a room. What do they talk about? GLP1 of course, but more specifically the difference between the synthetic version of your body's own hormone that are prescribed by doctors nationwide versus metabolism ignite product which naturally increases your body's GLP1 by 61%. GLP1 side effects can lead to nausea, fatigue and muscle loss, whereas Metabolism Ignite is powered by plants and there are no side effects. Some long term results of GLP1 links to weight gain after stopping the synthetic drug which has been proven in multiple studies. In comparison to Metabolism Ignite, there is no weight regain and this product supports Metabolic health. Join the 50,000 customers by skipping the needles and taking two capsules of metabolism Ignite a day for sustained weight loss with plant based therapy, visit V E R A C I T Y Health co promo code iheart for up to 65% off your order today.
- [01:05]
Xolair Sponsor
Xolair Omalizumab is proven to significantly reduce allergic reactions if a food allergy accident happens. Xolair 150mg is a prescription medication used to treat food allergy in people 1 year of age and older to reduce allergic reactions due to accidental exposure to one or more foods. While taking Xolair, you should continue to avoid all foods to which you are allergic. Don't use if you are allergic to Xolair. Xolair may cause a severe, life threatening allergic reaction called anaphylaxis. Tell your doctor if you have ever had anaphylaxis. Get help right away if you have trouble breathing or if you have swelling of your throat or tongue. Xolair should not be used for the emergency treatment of allergic reactions including anaphylaxis. Xolair is for maintenance use to reduce allergic reactions including anaphylaxis while avoiding food allergens. Serious side effects such as cancer, fever, muscle aches and rash, parasitic infection or heart and circulation problems have been reported. Please see xolair.com for full prescribing information. Ask an allergist about Xolair. This is an advertisement for Xolair paid for by Genentech and Novartis.
- [02:15]
Tea Forte Sponsor
Want to instantly elevate your hosting this season? T forte makes it feel effortless. Best known for their signature Pyramid teas topped with the iconic leaf, T Forte delivers premium blends that are served in luxury hotels and restaurants around the world. From casual brunches to summer dinner parties. T forte makes every place setting feel instantly elevated thanks to its beautiful presentation and thoughtful design. And when you're in need of the perfect gift, T forte offers elegant tea chests, tea wear, and curated gift sets that require no extra wrapping. It's an easy way to make birthdays, bridal showers, thank you gifts, and everyday celebrations feel more intentional. T forte strikes the balance balance between luxury and simplicity, turning even the smallest gathering into something memorable. It's the kind of detail that stands out in the moment and leaves a lasting impression your guests will remember. Shop now@tforte.com or on Amazon.
- [03:15]
Sophia (Host)
And now a quick break from our sponsor, Miracle Gro. Life is digitally distracted and time starved, but gardening is the perfect way to unplug. It isn't just about plants. It's about trading the digital noise for a quiet way to reconnect with yourself. Whether you're in an apartment or you've never even touched a shovel, don't let self doubt stop you. With 75 years of expertise, Miracle Gro takes the stress out of the process and makes it pure Joy. Head to miraclegrow.com to check out all of their easy to use products and start your growth journey today. Hi everyone, it's Sophia. Welcome to Work in Progress. Welcome to this week's Work in Progress. Friends. It is June. It is pride. Ooh. And we have some queer joy on the show today. Our guest is none other than Hayley Kiyoko, one of my favorite voices, one of my fellow Angels City FC lifelong supporters, and one of the coolest artists that I know. Long before she became a defining voice for queer storytelling, she was navigating incredibly early career success as a Disney Channel star. But like so many of us, fear of scrutiny made her shrink herself even with all of those amazing achievements. But that changed when she turned 24. Haley released a song, Girls Like Girls, that centered on selling, celebrated and championed queer love. And instead of judgment, she found an audience that accepted her and saw themselves in her. And it marked a point where her identity shifted from something private and complicated to something public and powerful. And what has followed is an incredibly beautiful and rare kind of creative evolution. The same story from the song has grown into a number one New York Times best selling novel and now a feature film that Haley co wrote and directed. What many people don't know is that it took 10 years to get this movie to the stage of being made. But along the way, she never gave up. She went from feeling pressure to tone herself down to being absolutely embraced. And I know my younger self Feels healed watching her do that. I imagine many of yours do too. Let's dive into this whole creative path with our friend Hayley Kiyoko. I'm so excited and I'm so happy you're here.
- [06:11]
Hayley Kiyoko
Me too.
- [06:11]
Sophia (Host)
I think about all of the cool overlap you and I are lucky enough to have as creatives, as spirit sports fans, as Angelinos, like, all the things
- [06:23]
Hayley Kiyoko
we do have a lot in common. Yeah.
- [06:25]
Sophia (Host)
And I mean, and you even more so than me. I mean, like, I, you know, I've been in the public sphere since, I don't know, a week after my 21st birthday. You've been in it since you were a kid. But I'm actually really curious even before, like from this vantage point in your life when you have so beautifully talked about how all the things you didn't know were gonna line up, have. And you know, you look back at your younger self and you wish she knew these things. I wonder, do you think if you had the sort of like Freaky Friday experience and you could hang out with your 8 year old self today, would you see yourself in her? Do you think she would see herself in you?
- [07:11]
Hayley Kiyoko
Totally. And that's a, I mean, love for you Friday. But that would be so odd staring at my younger self. But I definitely feel like, like most people, my younger self motivates and drives me of, like, what I want in my life and what I've always dreamed of having. And so I definitely feel like if young Haley could know what I was up to, she would be like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna be so cool when I grow up. And I just had no foresight whatsoever. I felt very hopeless about being able to truly, like, thrive as myself when I was so young. So I feel like it would be such a cool thing for her to see.
- [08:03]
Sophia (Host)
That's really cool. Where do you feel like your understanding, you know, not just as a kid who wanted to be creative or make art or, or who was curious about the world, but as a queer kid. Do you have the ability to look back at any moments in your childhood and go, oh, there it was. That's when I knew. Or maybe that's when I should have known. Like, there were signs.
- [08:29]
Hayley Kiyoko
Oh yeah, it was very. I would. It's weird because I didn't have the tools or the language, but I knew who I was from. I think my first grade teacher, I was like in love with and I was like six or something, whatever, five or six. But I knew, but I didn't know. I just knew that How I felt was wrong from what society told me and that no one else felt that way. So that was like. I think that's why my. You know, everyone has their own journey with their sexuality and their queerness and mine I carried throughout my adolescence and was definitely something that I was having to navigate. And my parents are super supportive now, but it wasn't like we were having open conversations or reading books with two moms or, like, having, hey, like, life could look like this or it could look like this. And so I really was on my own, navigating those feelings and knowing that I was a lesbian and I was only interested in girls. And it really kind of dominated my experience through all school, you know,
- [09:52]
Sophia (Host)
that's so interesting. It's like trying to sort of figure it out even for myself in adulthood in terms of what I knew and maybe what I wasn't picking up on as a kid. It's really hilarious to me. Like, the levity comes in. Like, we were just watching clips of old home movies with Ash and my family, and she was like, look at this little lesbian.
- [10:17]
Hayley Kiyoko
Like, you have always been older.
- [10:22]
Sophia (Host)
Yeah. And it just, like, we were cackling. And it's so interesting to me because I've also really had to look back at the lens of queerness in terms of, of course, the portion of it that is your sexual identity. But queerness is like a total identity also. You know, the kinds of friendships you build, the way you see the world, the way you're. You are inherently more solutions, oriented, creative, inclusive. Like. Yeah. And I don't know, there's all these moments now that I look at and I go like, oh, were we focusing on my obvious neurodivergence? Or was all my oddity. Oddity, like, difference put into. Oh, her brain's wired differently. I'm like, yeah, and I'm also queer
- [11:11]
Hayley Kiyoko
as, you know, all these epiphanies like, oh, my gosh.
- [11:16]
Sophia (Host)
Yeah.
- [11:17]
Hayley Kiyoko
Yeah. I mean. I mean, I feel like so many people can resonate with your experience, and so many people can probably resonate with mine. And very over. Like, my friends called me Mowgli, and I wouldn't wear a shirt, and I refused to wear a dress, and I was just very gay.
- [11:38]
Sophia (Host)
You were very Bermuda shorts. Yes, yes.
- [11:44]
Hayley Kiyoko
So, yeah, I don't have, like, oh. But I think my experience was more like I was experiencing it in real time, and I was like, how do I hide myself? How do I make myself smaller? How do I fit myself in this box? And if I want to be successful in this Industry. You know, when I was young, there was like, Ellen Day, Ellen DeGeneres, and maybe a handful of people that were like, in the public eye. I remember when the. I forget it was like a magazine cover and it was like, I'm gay. And it was like Ellen's face or something. And I was just like, is this what my life is going to be? And I remember being terrified of this. Just that. That vulnerable feeling that was brewing inside of me. Like, what does it look like in pop culture and in the mainstream when you're wanting to really be yourself and be an artist and express yourself.
- [12:41]
Sophia (Host)
Yeah. And can you do that safely? I mean, Helen was one of the most famous comedians in the world and she lost her job.
- [12:47]
Hayley Kiyoko
Yeah.
- [12:47]
Sophia (Host)
I think people forget that. Like, that's what we grew up with.
- [12:51]
Hayley Kiyoko
Yeah.
- [12:51]
Sophia (Host)
And it's weird even, you know, I don't know. You were saying your journey with your parents has become pretty great. Like, even for my mom, she was sort of like, oh, I remember girls you had crushes on and boys you had crushes on. But, like, our community was so gay. Were you just never around enough lesbians? Like, did we raise you around mostly gay men? And you never saw yourself. And that's like the sweetest question that your mom, who's in her late 70s, can ask you in your early 40s. But it was kind of interesting because I realized, unlike our friend group now, I was like, oh, yeah, you basically had like, my mom's best friend from childhood, Linda, who had like a high and tight military buzzcut and wrote a Harley. Or like Ellen. I didn't see. I didn't see queer girls like us.
- [13:43]
Hayley Kiyoko
You didn't see the whole spectrum. Yeah. The whole rainbow.
- [13:47]
Sophia (Host)
I didn't really see myself, like, necessarily anywhere. And then my job was to be an actor, so I just played other people all the time anyway. And that's a real mind fuck for another day.
- [13:59]
Hayley Kiyoko
Totally.
- [14:00]
Sophia (Host)
But I wonder for you, like, knowing so early rather than going, oh, something about me is a little different. You were like, this is the thing about me that's different. Like, I'm in love with her. How was the experience in terms of figuring out how to talk about that? Because you were also raised in LA by really artistic parents. Like, I think we were much luckier than kids who had to figure this out in small town Iowa. But even with a supportive family, you're talking about how you felt so much pressure to hide. Do you think that was just that inherent societal behavior that you saw that made you feel like you wouldn't be so safe.
- [14:46]
Hayley Kiyoko
Totally. I mean, I think it's weird to look back at how loud society is and the narratives that society feeds you. And, you know, like I said, even going back to, like, children's books and even going back to going to school and not seeing, you know, two moms picking up a kid or like just presentation as a whole, whether you grow up in LA or Iowa, obviously they're very different experiences. The fact is, is most cultures are not accepting of queer people and religions and the list goes on. And so that we all have something in common where you're having to navigate wanting to be your authentic self and you deserve to be your authentic self. And it's like, how do I do that? Where especially when you're a kid and you have to live at home or you are not able to find a safe space as your a in survival because you need a roof over your head and you're just trying to get through so then you can eventually find your people and then hopefully in your 20s and 30s. But obviously my goal in creating art and books and directing is for people to not have to wait for their 20s or 30s or 40s, their authentic selves, and know that there's so many people out there, even if you're not surrounded by them specifically at your school, you know, or your community. And so that's really important to me.
- [16:20]
Sophia (Host)
Yeah, I think it's so. It is so crucial because to your point, like, no kid is going to read the animated book about the two gay penguin dads and be like, oh, this book made me gay. But a little gay kid will read that book and go, oh, that's the family I'm going to have someday. And that's the difference, like when you talk about inclusion or representation. And we do deserve more of that. Like it. Maybe it wouldn't take us so long to figure things out, not just as individuals, but I think as a society, if everyone could just see themselves somewhere and that wasn't for some reason threatening to people who've literally always had every piece of media be about them.
- [17:10]
Hayley Kiyoko
Yeah.
- [17:10]
Sophia (Host)
You know, it's so weird.
- [17:12]
Hayley Kiyoko
Our existence is not taking anything away from other people's existence. And I think really fascinating that that's become a narrative.
- [17:22]
Sophia (Host)
Yeah. We'll be back in just a minute after a few words from our favorite sponsors.
- [17:28]
Metabolism Ignite Sponsor
A doubly certified obgyn and endocrinologist doctor, a naturopathic doctor and a certified health coach walk into a room. What do they talk about? GLP1, of course. But more specifically the difference between the synthetic version of your body's own hormone that are prescribed by doctors nationwide versus metabolism ignite product which naturally increases your body's GLP1 by 61%. GLP1 side effects can lead to nausea, fatigue and muscle loss, whereas Metabolism Ignite is powered by plants and there are no side effects. Some long term results of GLP1 links to weight gain after stopping the synthetic drug which has been proven in multiple studies. In comparison to Metabolism Ignite, there is no weight regain and this product supports metabolic health. Join the 50,000 customers by skipping the needles and taking two capsules of metabolism Ignite a day. For sustained weight loss with plant based therapy. Visit V E R A C I T Y Health co promo code iheart for up to 65% off your order today.
- [18:28]
Xolair Sponsor
Xolair Omalizumab is proven to significantly reduce allergic reactions if a food allergy accident happens. Xolair 150mg is a prescription medication used to treat food allergy in people 1 year of age and older. To reduce allergic reactions due to accidental exposure to one or more foods while taking Xolair, you should continue to avoid all foods to which you are allergic. Don't use if you are allergic to Xolair. Xolair may cause a severe, life threatening allergic reaction called anaphylaxis. Tell your doctor if you have ever had anaphylaxy anaphylaxis. Get help right away if you have trouble breathing or if you have swelling of your throat or tongue. Xolair should not be used for the emergency treatment of allergic reactions including anaphylaxis. Xolair is for maintenance use to reduce allergic reactions including anaphylaxis while avoiding food allergens. Serious side effects such as cancer, fever, muscle aches and rash, parasitic infection or heart and circulation problems have been reported. Please see xolair.com for full prescribing information. Ask an allergist about Xolair this is an advertisement for Xolair, paid for by Genentech and Novartis.
- [19:38]
Sophia (Host)
And now a break from our sponsor, Miracle Grow. Let's be real. We're all feeling a little digitally distracted and time starved lately. We're craving real connections and ways to unplug. And honestly, gardening is the ultimate way to do this. It isn't just about plants. It's about trading the digital noise for a quiet win. As you pour your energy into helping something grow, you're pouring a sense of calm and connection back into yourself too. If you're in an apartment or You've never even touched a shovel. Don't let self doubt stop you. With 75 years of expertise, Miracle Grow takes the stress out of the process and makes it pure joy. And let me tell you what I can confirm this. From the garden I love spending time in outdoors in Los Angeles to my little potted plants where I grow herbs indoors in New York, I love working with plants and I love Miracle Gro because whether I'm doing something in the soil or potting something in the apartment, Miracle Gro takes the best care of my plants. So my plants can help take care of me. And here's the big secret. Most people think water and sunlight are enough. But no, no. Your plants actually need more to truly thrive. Whether it's starting with the right soil foundation or or giving plants the boost they need to stay vibrant with plant food, our friends at Miracle Gro have all the essentials to make growing simple and stress free. Head to miraclegrow.com to check out all of their easy to use products and start your growth journey today.
- [21:16]
Tea Forte Sponsor
Want to instantly elevate your hosting this season? Tea Forte makes it feel effortless. Best known for their signature pyramid teas topped with the iconic leaf, Tea Forte delivers premium blends that are served in luxury hotels and restaurants around the world. From casual brunches to summer dinner parties, T forte makes every play setting feel instantly elevated thanks to its beautiful presentation and thoughtful design. And when you're in need of the perfect gift, T forte offers elegant tea chests, te wear, and curated gift sets that require no extra wrapping. It's an easy way to make birthdays, bridal showers, thank you gifts, and everyday celebrations feel more intentional. T forte strikes the balance between luxury and simplicity, turning even the smallest gathering into something memorable. It's the kind of detail that stands out in the moment and leaves a lasting impression your guests will remember. Shop now@tforte.com or on Amazon.
- [22:21]
Sophia (Host)
I remember when Girls Like Girls came out. I remember being like, okay, girl. I was like, this is so good. And thinking about you being 24, having come from the Disney Channel. I mean, it's success, sure, but it's also pressure to be that sort of perfect kid. What was it like? Like the night before the song was gonna hit? Were you excited? Were you scared? Did you like, go to sleep early? Did you sleep at all? Like, I'm so curious how you felt before it was out in the world?
- [22:59]
Hayley Kiyoko
Well, it was. Well, to back back up. My Disney experience is very different from other people because my Disney experience, I had a short pixie Cut. I looked like a homosexual. And I was on Wizards for a short period, and I basically looked gay. So I had a very different experience from other people who, like, grew up on Disney.
- [23:23]
Sophia (Host)
Fair, fair, fair.
- [23:24]
Hayley Kiyoko
But the night before, Girls Like Girls, it was a really interesting experience because I really struggled finding an outlet to support the music video and premiere it. And at the time, like, it was always about who's gonna premiere the music video. You know, who's gonna premiere on YouTube? Is it nylon? Is it this? Is it that? And nobody raised their mutant. And I had just gone through weeks of just rejection and people being like, this is, you know, the classic word, which I absolutely hate in referencing lesbians. The word risque. Like, you know, this is too. This is too risque. This is. We're not, you know, comfortable with this. And so the lame person who rose their hand up was aol.
- [24:15]
Sophia (Host)
Shut up.
- [24:16]
Hayley Kiyoko
I didn't even know AOL was around still. So it was like, hey. So my team was like, hey. So we got a premiere, and it's AOL. I was like, AOL stills exist. I was like, AOL.com and they were like, yes.
- [24:36]
Sophia (Host)
I was like, well, iconic.
- [24:38]
Hayley Kiyoko
Great. So funny enough, they premiered the music video. And the night before, I was really scared. I was really nervous. And I didn't put myself in the music video just as, like, because I just wasn't ready to, like, fully put myself out there. I was just kind of putting myself out there. Yeah, with the song, and I was really nervous, honestly. And at that time, I had, like, 9,000 subscribers on YouTube, and it was just kind of my last hurrah. And I put it out, and, yeah, it. It turned into something I never thought it would. Honestly, I was so terrified. So terrified. Especially because I wasn't feeling the support from, you know, my industry. And I think that that's kind of like a through line. Obviously, I've had very supportive people. I've had other yeses. But most of my experience in my career, everything that I've created, it's made people feel uncomfortable or it hasn't been done before or they're not sure. And, like, that has just been, like, my life, my journey as a musician. And. And so I've really become comfortable with that response because that's just been my journey from day one.
- [26:01]
Sophia (Host)
How do you think you learned to settle into that, though? Like, when. When the response, even in success, is laden with so much rejection, how do you learn to navigate that? Like, what do you trust in yourself to push through until the actual yes
- [26:20]
Hayley Kiyoko
comes Well, I mean, that's really layered into the movie experience that I had where basically, like, I did the music video in 2015. The reaction obviously went viral and was really wonderful. And then I was like, okay, maybe I can, you know, direct a movie and tell the story. And that started a 10 year journey of no's. And there were so many heartbreaks and I battled with my mental health a lot because I felt, I think when you get so many no's.
- [26:55]
Sophia (Host)
Yeah.
- [26:55]
Hayley Kiyoko
You're feeling crazy and you're feeling very alone on this island and you're like, am I crazy? Like, am I missing something? Like, you're trying to be smart. Like, okay, if everyone's saying no, like, what. What am I missing here? You know, is it me or is it just I haven't found the right yes? And so you start to go a little nuts. So my journey, trying to get this movie made did make me a little bit not so. Because I. I think, to answer your question, the thing that grounded me and propelled me were the fans were, if I can't do this, then no one else is going to be able to do this, so I have to do this. And I. That was like, literally my anchor. Like, every time I wanted to give up, every time I had to restart the process and find different producers and, you know, rethink everything, I had to be like, if I give up, then we don't get this.
- [27:54]
Sophia (Host)
Yeah.
- [27:55]
Hayley Kiyoko
And period. And so that was kind of, you know, my fans were. Without them knowing they were the motivation because I've really. I'm not a religious person, but spiritually I've felt that my purpose in life has been to get this story made and put on the big screen. Like, I've really truly believed that that has been that, like, I'm going to do more, but that is like number one, the most important thing for me to do.
- [28:27]
Sophia (Host)
Yeah. Well, what does that feel like, knowing this is happening? Because, you know, for our friends at home, if they don't know the full journey. You expanded from the song, like from this core idea. You expanded girls, like girls into casual brag on your behalf here, A New York Times bestselling novel.
- [28:50]
Hayley Kiyoko
Thank you so much.
- [28:51]
Sophia (Host)
And you know, I'm just like, she did it. And that is such a huge feat. And we are in a moment where in our world, you know, our creative world, our industry people want existing ip, they want an adaptation. So was writing the novel partially a stepping stone to get to making the film? Or did you figure, like, if I write the novel, then it's ip. And then also, I essentially just get to adapt my own novel into my movie.
- [29:25]
Tea Forte Sponsor
The.
- [29:26]
Hayley Kiyoko
The novel play was my Hail Mary. It was. The movie was not getting made. It was not going anywhere. And I was like, you know, I've had to make so many sacrifices just even developing the screenplay and the idea. Yeah, I was like, you know what? I'm just going to write my $20 million version of this story, and if the movie never gets made, at least this book will exist in people's libraries or kids will have access to the audiobook. And, like, that was like, my Hail Mary of, like, at least this will exist. And maybe if it is successful, that will help propel the conversation forward to making the movie. Because I was seeing, you know, Taylor Jenkins, Reid and all these incredible writers getting there. Like you said, like, Hollywood loves an ip. So I was just like, well, I'm gonna. We're just gonna pivot again and try this and see if this works. And if it doesn't, at least I've completed my mission, which is to tell a hopeful queer story and, you know, sharing my most authentic self through that. And so I released the book in 2023, and it became a New York Times bestseller, and it led to my green light at the end of that year.
- [30:54]
Sophia (Host)
It's so good.
- [30:56]
Hayley Kiyoko
Never give up.
- [30:57]
Sophia (Host)
Never.
- [30:57]
Hayley Kiyoko
If the door is not opening, you pivot and you build in the window. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's kind of what the book was.
- [31:07]
Sophia (Host)
It's also not lost on me that as an artist, the, like, the amount of rejection we deal with in general. And by the way, like, that's being lucky enough to be artists who pay our bills making art. Like, what? That's already insane.
- [31:21]
Hayley Kiyoko
Which is already so hard.
- [31:23]
Sophia (Host)
It's already so hard. And I think about, you know, it's like, people get to know you and they go like, oh, you're a little neurotic. Or like, wow, you. You really are mean to yourself. You're like, do you see what my. What my existence is in the world? Like, I always say, and maybe this is just to get ahead of the cesspool that is the Internet. But I'm like, oh, nobody's meaner to me than me.
- [31:46]
Hayley Kiyoko
Right?
- [31:46]
Sophia (Host)
Like, you don't have to try so hard.
- [31:48]
Hayley Kiyoko
Yeah, we're so hard on ourselves.
- [31:50]
Sophia (Host)
Yeah, I. I already got it. I got that on lock. To do what you've done requires so much steadfastness, such a willingness to continue through doubt, through the things that are so hard.
- [32:06]
Hayley Kiyoko
Yeah.
- [32:07]
Sophia (Host)
So what were some of the things you were doing to bring yourself joy. I mean, casual. You obviously fell madly in love with the right person. So like, that's a gorge bonus of the last 10 year journey.
- [32:20]
Hayley Kiyoko
But like, yeah.
- [32:22]
Sophia (Host)
Were you, were you like, okay, if I do a date night a week with her, that'll keep my head on straight? Were you like, I gotta, I gotta go outside and get the sun on my face within 10 minutes of waking up? Are you like a walker? What's your thing to like keep yourself in joy while you're working so hard at something?
- [32:41]
Hayley Kiyoko
I love nature. So I think, you know, my mom always says change is as good as a rest. So even if you can't just recline, just changing your environment. And so that very much resonates with me. So, like, going for walks, feeling the sun on my face. There were periods of time trying to get this movie made where I had so much anxiety. I was so depressed and you know, going to the ocean if you have access to water or even if you don't have access to water, like taking a bath. I never was a bath person, but I became a bath person during the process of this trying to get this film made. And so those are like really nice resets. And you know, obviously I met Becca in 2018. I was three years into that process, you know. Yeah. So I also. It's hard because it's like, okay, I want to direct a movie and make a movie, but how do you even do that? And so you're trying to just keep. You're trying to continue to move forward. And so in 2018, I released my first album and I went on tour and I just tried to like, keep myself out there while I was dealing with, you know, legal stuff and figuring out how who was going to pay for it, how who was going to like support this film. And so, yeah, it's just a lot of juggling, but for me it's just, you know, the sun on my face about journaling is huge for my mental health and therapy. My therapist got me through it.
- [34:14]
Sophia (Host)
You and me both, sister. I like what I would do without my therapist. I do not know.
- [34:20]
Hayley Kiyoko
Yeah, what?
- [34:22]
Sophia (Host)
You know, obviously it's a big journey and people only see a portion of it. Like, I love I referenced it when you first jumped on the zoom, but it's like all the fans started calling you lesbian Jesus. I know, we loved that. I know you've said you loved it. Like, what were some of those joyful moments along the way? Like you said that kept you going and can you give us the Backstory on the nickname for the folks who are just learning it today.
- [34:51]
Hayley Kiyoko
Yes. Well, I was on. I was on a tour in 2018, and we called it 20 gayteen. And at one of my shows, I forget what city, a fan had called me Lesbian Jesus. And I had thought that was, like, you know, a phrase that people call one another or, like. Like, no cap or, like, you know, six, seven. Like, you know, I just was like,
- [35:15]
Sophia (Host)
you're like, oh, it's in the lexicon.
- [35:17]
Hayley Kiyoko
And I had finished my show, and I'd gone online, and as. As the tour was progressing, I realized they were just calling me Lesbian Jesus. So I don't know who the fan is that created it, but congrats to them because it has just picked up, and it's something that my fans love to call me, and I'm very honored because I'm very much a lesbian. And, you know, I've always been. When I was younger, I was so afraid of the word lesbian. There was such a negative connotation to it through just. Just what people told me and taught me. And so it's so awesome to get to, like, have a nickname that celebrates joy and, like, positivity as a lesbian. And so that's been a really cool, like, reclaiming of the word totally. But, yeah, I mean, what's got me through is just, like, you know, being able to still release music. And I think as I get older in the industry, you really realize, like, being a creative, just being able to stay in the game is success, because to be able to keep a roof over your head, to create art and express yourself is. Is the challenge. And so to be able to be in this for, you know, over 15, 15 years, it's. You know, I'm just. I'm just really happy that I'm. I exist and I'm here to finally see this movie go into theaters.
- [36:47]
Sophia (Host)
Totally.
- [36:48]
Hayley Kiyoko
Like, I'm in, like, absolute shock that we did it and that it's here and that I'm doing a podcast with you and talking about this process. It's. It's so surreal to be on the precipice of the other side.
- [37:03]
Sophia (Host)
Yes. Well, and to have a movie in the can after 10 years of trying to get it made, which nobody understands
- [37:11]
Hayley Kiyoko
how hard a movie is. Like, now I'll, like, watch a bad movie, and I'll be like, congrats to everyone involved.
- [37:17]
Sophia (Host)
You're like, wow, guys, you did something. It's just, like, so.
- [37:20]
Hayley Kiyoko
It's a miracle. It's a miracle. Every single film that you see that exists out there is a miracle and a lot of people worked really hard to have it exist.
- [37:31]
Sophia (Host)
Yeah, I really feel that. And now a word from our wonderful sponsors.
- [37:39]
Metabolism Ignite Sponsor
A doubly certified obgyn and endocrinologist doctor, a naturopathic doctor and a certified health coach Walk into a room. What do they talk about? GLP1 of course, but more specifically the difference between the synthetic version of your body's own hormone that are prescribed by doctors nationwide versus metabolism ignite product which naturally increases your body's GLP1 by 61%. GLP1 side effects can lead to nausea, fatigue and muscle loss, whereas Metabolism Ignite is powered by plants and there are no side effects. Some long term results of GLP1 links to weight gain after stopping the synthetic drug which has been proven in multiple studies. In comparison to Metabolism Ignite, there is no weight regain and this product supports metabolic health. Join the 50,000 customers by skipping the needles and taking two capsules of metabolism Ignite a day for sustained weight loss with plant based therapy. Visit V E R A C I T Y Health co promo code iheart for up to 65% off your order today.
- [38:40]
Xolair Sponsor
Xolair Omalizumab is proven to significantly reduce allergic reactions if a food allergy accident happens. Xolair 150mg is a prescription medication used to treat food allergy in people 1 year of age and older to reduce allergic reactions due to accidental exposure to one or more foods. While taking Xolair, you should continue to avoid all foods to which you are allergic. Don't use if you are allergic to Xolair. Xolair may cause a severe life threatening allergic reaction called anaphylaxis. Tell your doctor if you have ever had anaphylaxis. Get help right away if you have trouble breathing or if you have swelling of your throat or tongue. Xolair should not be used for the emergency treatment of allergic reactions including anaphylaxis. Xolair is for maintenance use to reduce allergic reactions including anaphylaxis while avoiding food allergens. Serious side effects effects such as cancer, fever, muscle aches and rash, parasitic infection or heart and circulation problems have been reported. Please see xolair.com for full prescribing information. Ask an allergist about Xolair. This is an advertisement for Xolair paid for by Genentech and Novartis.
- [39:49]
Sophia (Host)
And now a break from our sponsor Miracle Grow. Let's be real. We're all feeling a little digitally distracted and time starved lately. We're craving real connections and ways to unplug. And honestly, gardening is the ultimate way to do this. It isn't just about plants. It's about trading the digital noise for a quiet win. As you pour your energy into helping something grow, you're pouring a sense of calm and connection back into yourself too. If you're in an apartment or you've never even touched a shovel, don't let self doubt stop you. With 75 years of expertise, Miracle Gro takes the stress out of the process and makes it pure joy. And let me tell you what I can confirm this from the garden I love spending time in outdoors in Los Angeles to my little potted plants where I grow herbs indoors in New York. I love working with plants. And I love Miracle Gro because whether I'm doing something in the soil or potting something in the apartment, Miracle Gro takes the best care of my plants. So my plants can help take care of me. And here's the big secret. Most people think water and sunlight are enough. But no. No. Your plants actually need more to truly thrive. Whether it's starting with the right soil foundation or giving plants the boost they need to stay vibrant with plant food, our friends at Miracle Gro have all the essentials to make growing simple and stress free. Head to miraclegrow.com to check out all of their easy to use products and start your growth journey today.
- [41:27]
Tea Forte Sponsor
Want to instantly elevate your hosting this season? T forte makes it feel effortless. Known for their signature pyramid teas topped with the iconic leaf, T forte elevates everything from a casual brunch to a summer dinner party. And when you need a thoughtful gift, their tea chests and curated gift sets are absolutely gorgeous. No wrapping required. Perfect for birthdays, bridal showers, thank you gifts, and celebrating life's everyday moments, T forte feels luxurious, personal and genuinely memorable every single time. Shop now@tforte.com or on Amazon.
- [42:03]
Sophia (Host)
Do you think that creative work in general feels different to you now? Like, feels more exciting, more liberated? Like where, where are you as you were in this precipice moment? As a creator, I think being able
- [42:18]
Hayley Kiyoko
to direct this film and really find my home as a creative has been really centering for me and gratifying because I've always written music. You know, I did musical theater growing up. I've always done like a little bit of everything and to really go, oh my gosh, I've always been a director, I've always been a storyteller like this. This is what I'm good at. I'M good at building worlds and being a part of that, at the decision making every step of the way. Finding that for myself has been so gratifying and, like, has been worth the absolute treacherous mountain that I went through to get this film to exist. And that feels very freeing for me because music I love, but there was only so much I could do. And specifically, like, you know, I found my fans through music videos and directing my music videos, but then my music videos I didn't have financing for anymore, and so then I couldn't make music videos. And then I. I couldn't do the things that I love to do anymore. And so that was really hard for me. And I think when things get so hard for so long, it kind of can suck the fun out. And so it's been really beautiful to direct this film and be able to kind of almost come back to music and writing this Inspired by album after the fact. I finished the film when in the studio, wrote this Inspired by album through the lens of Coley and Sonia, our protagonists, and I got to have fun. And I was like, oh, my gosh, I love this feeling again. And so it was so fun that I kind of kind of lost the flame with music, went into the directing world, wrote, you know, wrote and directed the movie, and then kind of went back to music. And I got to find that joy again. And I think in anything, people find joy when they are supported. Like, when you don't feel supported, when you don't have a community or a safe space to be yourself and to do the things that you want to do, it affects your mental health. It just does. And that was a big example of how that can truly affect your spirit and drive. So I've never been more proud of this album and this album. And it's. It's really nice to feel like I'm, like, returning.
- [45:01]
Sophia (Host)
I'm the Artemis returning home to earth. You've done it. The Phoenix. She's rising. Yes. I love it. Oh, my God. Did you just sob for a week straight, like, I did? I couldn't get my shit together.
- [45:14]
Hayley Kiyoko
I loved watching it. It's so cool. I love space. I also watch, like, space movies and stuff, but I just love space.
- [45:20]
Sophia (Host)
No, it's truly my favorite thing. Like, it's so fun.
- [45:24]
Hayley Kiyoko
I would personally never go, but I'm happy for people who get to go and experience it.
- [45:30]
Sophia (Host)
Yeah, I. I might want to.
- [45:37]
Hayley Kiyoko
Like, I might go next week, but
- [45:39]
Sophia (Host)
here's the thing I don't want to do. I mean, a. I couldn't, but B, like, I don't want to do like oligarchy space tourism. That's not my vibe.
- [45:50]
Hayley Kiyoko
Okay.
- [45:51]
Sophia (Host)
Like, I don't want to go up in the penis pod and come down. I'm not interested.
- [45:56]
Hayley Kiyoko
You're trying to.
- [45:57]
Sophia (Host)
Like, I would do the week. I would be like, if there's something I could do and assist NASA, like, send me. Sure.
- [46:08]
Hayley Kiyoko
Wow.
- [46:08]
Sophia (Host)
What could I do? Literally nothing. But I would if they asked, you know, like, I don't. You need like a poetic journalist to go to space with you? Okay, I'll go, I'll write. Write down everything everyone says and then write something beautiful for you. Like, I don't know, I love that. But it would have to be meaningful, like to just the tourism aspect I don't get. But I. Oh man. I mean, I just wept every day watching that coverage. I loved it so much.
- [46:39]
Hayley Kiyoko
I think it just goes back to like, no matter what you do or what your passions are, we all want to find something meaningful. And we all, if we're going to invest our time and energy into something, we want it to, to help the world and propel the conversation and forward, you know, and that's really important to recognize.
- [47:05]
Sophia (Host)
Totally. I love it. I've never had a contributor to a prep document for an, an interviewee before, but I did. Thankfully for our off camera life. I did get a question from your beloved about your movie. She said she can't. She said she can't. She can't wait for the world to see it. Is so proud of you. And also wants to know why there was not a character named Becca in the film.
- [47:39]
Hayley Kiyoko
She's in the other room. I'm gonna go grab her.
- [47:41]
Sophia (Host)
Okay, great. Be like, you little troll.
- [47:44]
Hayley Kiyoko
We have this like constant thing where she'll like, like, I'll like test her to see if she can act. You know, like, we'll do like a little audition skits and stuff. And yeah, she's not an actor yet, but I love her.
- [47:57]
Sophia (Host)
Yeah, well, it's very funny for me in my home because clearly Ash is not an actor either, but she's a performer. Like, she's a performance athlete. We are performance artists. And when I have to prep for something, she's so genuine and sweet and she'll be like, let me run your lines with you. And I'm like, you're like, thanks, but no thanks. No, no. And, and now, now we finally will do it. And like halfway through, when I'm really figuring out my thing, she'll be like, how did you do that? And I'M like, you can't ask me that in the middle of a scene like how I made a. You're not supposed to remind me that I'm not. You have a great character.
- [48:37]
Metabolism Ignite Sponsor
Yeah.
- [48:39]
Sophia (Host)
It's like, constant shenanigans. So the four of us clearly need to play some improv games.
- [48:43]
Hayley Kiyoko
Absolutely. It's really. It's really fun to get to have shared, you know, eight out of the 11 years of this journey with Becca and, like, even just like, going to Coachella and performing with Gigi Perez and having our song come out like. Like, Becca was. She was practicing Gigi's parts while I was practicing my parts because we had separated. So I was, like, singing Girls Like Girls, and she would sing the part. Do you want me to sing the part? Little moments like that are just so joyful.
- [49:16]
Sophia (Host)
Wait, how was Coachella? I can't believe I almost forgot to ask about it.
- [49:21]
Hayley Kiyoko
Oh, it was so fun. You know, I. I performed eight years ago, and I think it was. It was so extra meaningful because that was the moment that I was trying to launch my, you know, career. And then, you know, Gigi existing in the world was inspired by my music and impacted by my music. And so eight years later, it's her moment at Coachella. And it was so special and I think, healing for both of us to get to sing Girls Like Girls together. I had never shared. I've never shared the stage with anyone performing Girls Like Girls, and so to get to do that eight years later, come back also engaged. I had met Becca, like, two weeks before I had Coachella in 2018, and there was just a lot of really cool, full circle moments. And I am so grateful for Gigi and all of the artists that are on this album. I basically just wanted to make a album about girls and brought on artists that I love. And I think also, too, when you create and anytime someone donates their time or shows their support in a real way, it's so meaningful and it's so special to be like, wow, we've impacted one another, and, like, we're actually going to show up for each other and to know, for them to see, like, that I've. I've been here for a long time. I've been in the game for a long time, and I've been working up for my moment for a very long time. And for them to recognize that Girls Like Girls, this film goes beyond me. It's a cultural movement for our community. I felt really seen by that. And so I'm so excited for people to hear the rest of the album too. Now the movie's coming out in a couple days.
- [51:17]
Sophia (Host)
We're going to pause here today friends, and then come back for a follow up episode with the Amazing Haley. See you on the next one.
- [51:41]
Metabolism Ignite Sponsor
A doubly certified obgyn and endocrinologist doctor, a naturopathic doctor and a certified health coach walk into a room. What do they talk about? GLP1 of course, but more specifically the difference between the synthetic version of your body's own hormone that I are prescribed by doctors nationwide versus metabolism ignite product which naturally increases your body's GLP1 by 61%. GLP1 side effects can lead to nausea, fatigue and muscle loss, whereas Metabolism Ignite is powered by plants and there are no side effects. Some long term results of GLP1 links to weight gain after stopping the synthetic drug which has been proven in multiple studies. In comparison to Metabolism Ignite, there is no weight weight regain and this product supports metabolic health. Join the 50,000 customers by skipping the needles and taking two capsules of metabolism Ignite a day for sustained weight loss with plant based therapy. Visit V E R A C I T Y Health co promo code iheart for up to 65% off your order today.
- [52:42]
Sophia (Host)
And now a quick break from our sponsor Miracle Gro. Life is digitally distracted and time starved, but gardening is the perfect way to unplug. It isn't just about plants, it's about trading the digital noise for a quiet way to reconnect with yourself. Whether you're in an apartment or you've never even touched a shovel, don't let self doubt stop you. With 75 years of expertise, Miracle Gro takes the stress out of the process and makes it pure Joy. Head to miraclegrow.com to check out all of their easy to use products and start your growth journey today.
- [53:16]
Xolair Sponsor
Xolair Omalizumab is proven to significantly reduce allergic reactions if a food allergy accident happens. Xolair 150mg is a prescription medication used to treat food allergy in people 1 year of age and older to reduce allergic reactions due to accidental exposure to one or more foods while taking Xolair, you should continue to avoid all foods to which you are allergic. Don't use if you are allergic to Xolair. Xolair may cause a severe life threatening allergic reaction called anaphylaxis. Tell your doctor if you have ever had anaphylaxis. Get help right away if you have trouble breathing or if you have swelling of your throat or tongue Xolair should not be used for the emergency treatment of allergic reactions, including anaphylaxis. Xolair is for maintenance use to reduce allergic reactions including anaphylaxis while avoiding food allergens. Serious side effects such as cancer, fever, muscle aches and rash, parasitic infection or heart and circulation problems have been reported. Please see xolair.com for full prescribing information. Ask an allergist about Xolair this is an advertisement for Xolair paid for by Genentech and Novartis.
- [54:25]
Tea Forte Sponsor
Want to instantly elevate your hosting this season? T forte makes it feel effortless. Known for their signature pyramid teas topped with the iconic leaf, T Forte elevates everything from a casual brunch to a summer dinner party. And when you need a thoughtful gift, their tea chests and curated gift set sets are absolutely gorgeous. No wrapping required. Perfect for birthdays, bridal showers, thank you gifts and celebrating life's everyday moments. T forte feels luxurious, personal and genuinely memorable every single time. Shop now at tforte. Com or on Amazon.
- [54:55]
Hayley Kiyoko
This is an iHeart podcast.
- [54:58]
Sophia (Host)
Guaranteed Human.