Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

Episode: Sarah Shahi - Part 1
Release Date: February 18, 2026
Podcast Network: iHeartPodcasts

Episode Overview

In this candid and lively conversation, Sophia Bush sits down with actress, author, and former NFL cheerleader Sarah Shahi to explore themes from Sarah’s new book, Life is Lifey. The episode touches on resilience, womanhood, courage, childhood trauma, sex, power, family, personal reinvention, and the often messy middle spaces where real growth happens. The two women share personal stories, hard-won wisdom, and sharp humor in discussing how to pursue joy and wholeness even in the face of pain and uncertainty.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

I. Sarah Shahi’s Whirlwind Life & Career ([03:22]–[07:45])

• Sophia introduces Sarah as a multi-hyphenate: author, actress, former NFL cheerleader, and boundary-pusher.
• Sarah shares her recent whirlwind schedule—filming in London, a national book tour, multiple cities—all while feeling “grateful, but exhausted.”
• The two reflect on the myth that loving your work means never being tired or finding it hard:
  • Sophia: "Everybody complains about their job, and just because other people think your job is fancy does not mean your job is not really hard." ([06:31])
  • Both women agree that it’s possible and healthy to feel gratitude and fatigue simultaneously.

II. On Bravery, Childhood, and Trauma ([07:46]–[15:05])

• Sophia praises Sarah’s consistent boldness and courage, asking if she was always a brave child.
  • Sarah: "It’s something I’ve really had to learn... One of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard is when people say, ‘Don’t be afraid.’ Everyone’s fear factor is different." ([08:35])
• Sarah shares aspects of her upbringing:
  • Grew up with an abusive father (“He held a gun to my head.”)
  • Escaped with her mother to women’s shelters.
  • Her mother shielded her from chaos, making even scary times seem like “adventures,” instilling a "glass-half-full" mindset.
  • Courage became an active practice, especially as life became more complicated—with motherhood and relationships.
  • Sarah: “I’ve learned to have a relationship with my fear...I’m going to walk with you anyway.” ([09:25])

III. Healing from Trauma & Defining Safety ([11:07]–[14:03])

• Sophia and Sarah discuss the redefining of “normalcy” after trauma.
  • Sophia talks about recalibrating what fear and joy mean after a traumatic childhood.
  • Sarah shares how her mother modeled a peaceful life post-divorce, but also how abandonment issues colored adult relationships, making her want to be “chosen.”
  • Sarah: “For me, it took me a long time to be able to...recognize or pinpoint when I’m acting from that little girl place who just wants to be chosen by her father, or when I’m being a confident woman.” ([13:12])

IV. Relationships, Patterns, and Growth ([14:03]–[19:43])

• Discussion shifts to how early abandonment influenced Sarah’s romantic relationships and her tendency to people-please.
  • Sarah: “My dad was very in and out... as a child, you always associate, ‘I’m the reason he left,’ so if I can be good enough, he’ll stay.” ([15:05])
  • She describes how these neural patterns continued into adulthood, leading her to overstay in relationships.
• Sarah’s “follow your happy” philosophy:
  • “Trust the timing of your life. Just focus on what you do know. Focus on whatever it is that brings you joy...and little by little, the things you don’t know...will just kind of fall into your lap.” ([19:15])

V. Shame, Timing, and Permission ([23:13]–[27:34])

• Sophia highlights how fame adds another layer of shame for women—“how dare you be unhappy?"
• They agree there is no shortcut to learning lessons besides genuinely living them.
  • Sophia: “There was no way for you to learn that until you learned it.” ([24:03])
• Societal expectations around marriage and happiness:
  • Sophia and Sarah bond over the criticism that seeking happiness is “too much,” and how some people are uncomfortable with others striving for joy.
  • Sarah: "When you have the courage to do what’s in your highest good...it trickles down to everyone else. It’s actually one of the most selfless things you can do—to be selfish in that sense." ([27:22])

VI. Humor, Identity, and Resilience ([27:46]–[35:22])

• Sophia admires Sarah’s levity and humor in her writing.
  • Sarah: “I don’t consider myself funny. I consider myself real...I just know how to be really real.” ([28:47])
• Sarah’s upbringing as an Iranian-Spanish child in Texas, facing ridicule and feeling like an outsider.
  • Credited her hardworking, resourceful single mother with instilling grit and drive.
  • Sarah: “Our mother was just—she never made us feel like we were missing something...If you want something, work your ass off and go get it.” ([33:50])
• Now single for the first time in 23 years, Sarah is learning to balance her natural hustle with learning to be more receptive, not just chasing for the sake of being chosen.

VII. Career Beginnings: From Opera to NFL Cheerleader to Actress ([39:02]–[46:13])

• Sarah describes the unusual path from studying opera in college to cheering for the Dallas Cowboys.
• Her “big break” came through a serendipitous meeting with legendary director Robert Altman, who offered to help her if she ever came to L.A.
  • Naively packed up and moved without a Plan B, motivated purely by “bliss.”
  • Sarah: “It was manifestation at a level I didn’t understand. What is a plan B? Well, of course I’m gonna make it.” ([44:21])
  • After later learning Altman’s stature, she became too intimidated to call him back—highlighting how knowledge of others’ status can actually increase self-doubt.

VIII. Motherhood and Making It Work ([49:02]–[50:51])

• Sophia asks about the challenge of simultaneous career success and new motherhood.
  • Sarah: “As much as I love feminism and I am a feminist, I feel like we’re now expected to be the boss at home and the boss at work, which is a very unrealistic set of expectations.” ([49:49])
  • She shares pragmatically about childcare (“I have a nanny”), building breastfeeding into her schedule, and simply “making it work.”

IX. Divorce, Co-Parenting, and Reframing Endings ([51:10]–[53:20])

• Sarah describes the end of her marriage:
  • Endings are gradual, and rarely due to one person.
  • Sarah: “The goose just doesn’t lay the golden egg anymore...It’s just that simple.” ([51:33])
  • She frames the relationship as a tremendous privilege (“We grew up together. We shaped each other.”) and sees their co-parenting as a new, healthier dynamic.

X. Generational Progress & Modeling for Children ([56:51]–[61:58])

• The two discuss how today’s women are more apt to leave for the kids, to model self-respect and joy, rather than stay for the kids.
  • Sophia: “We’re the first generation...to say, ‘I’m leaving for my kids. I’m leaving to model something better for my children than what was modeled for me.’” ([56:51])
  • Sarah reflects on the pain and real work of divorce, including honoring emotions and processing grief openly.
  • Sarah: “We need to learn to open ourselves up to pain. And it was the moment I stopped numbing myself...When I finally looked at my pain, that’s when I was able to love myself enough to get out.” ([61:30])

XI. Sex, Agency, and Breaking Taboos ([62:15]–[68:41])

• They talk about Sarah’s role in Sex Life and how it mirrored and fueled her own personal exploration of female agency and sexuality.
  • Sarah: “Viagra...just rolls off everyone’s tongue...but if a woman is talking about her period...we have to do it behind closed doors.” ([63:08])
  • Sarah shares how the show elevated her to a platform for sexual agency, and women reached out about issues from orgasms to using their voices.
  • Sarah: “Orgasms and sexuality, these are God-given rights...Women’s sexuality is not a sordid thing to talk about.” ([65:11])
  • Emphasizing the importance of modeling healthy, open relationships for her children.

XII. Embracing Singlehood, Sensuality, and Wholeness ([68:56]–[72:03])

• As a newly single woman, Sarah describes how she’s reconnecting with her mischievous, sensual side—no longer suppressing herself.
  • Sarah: “Sensuality and especially women femininity—this is how I take up space in the world… That landscape can change each day.” ([70:33])
• She credits this phase as essential preparation for her next relationship, and sees it as integral to the honesty of her book.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Courage is something that we have to actively practice... our brains are wired for survival. So if there’s a situation that feels scary... our natural instinct is to retreat.”
  — Sarah Shahi ([08:35])
• “It is actually one of the most selfless things you can do is to be selfish in that sense.”
  — Sarah Shahi ([27:34])
• “There was no way for you to learn that until you learned it.”
  — Sophia Bush ([24:03])
• “Trust the timing of your life...just follow your happy.”
  — Sarah Shahi ([19:15])
• “The goose just doesn’t lay the golden egg anymore... It’s just that simple.”
  — Sarah Shahi ([51:33])
• “Orgasms and sexuality, these are God-given rights... this isn’t something that should be taboo.”
  — Sarah Shahi ([65:11])
• “When you have the courage to do what’s in your highest good...it trickles down to everybody else.”
  — Sarah Shahi ([27:22])
• “I have now realized: oh no, this is kind of who I am… Sensuality and especially women femininity—this is how I take up space…”
  — Sarah Shahi ([70:33])

Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• Sarah’s mother turning escaping abuse into an “adventure” ([09:25])
• Sarah’s description of her unorthodox career leap—Dallas Cowboy cheerleader to LA actress ([39:02]–[45:58])
• Sophia’s anecdote of not calling Rihanna back due to intimidation ([46:17])
• Sarah’s unfiltered advice to women in the bedroom: “You gotta start tickling that clit. Like, get on it.” ([67:26])
• Sarah’s honest humor about post-divorce dating at 40: “My tits aren’t perky anymore.” ([28:22])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:22] Introduction to Sarah’s multi-faceted career and new book
• [05:13] Catching up post-book tour and the challenges of constant travel
• [07:46] On courage: how Sarah learned bravery and manages fear
• [12:31] Effects of childhood trauma and modeling from her mother
• [14:03] Relationship dynamics and healing old patterns
• [19:15] Following joy and trusting the timing of life
• [23:13] Shame, permission, and societal expectations for women
• [27:46] The role of humor and authenticity in Sarah’s story
• [33:50] Hard-working upbringing as an outsider in Texas
• [39:02] Sarah’s path from opera to cheerleading to meeting Robert Altman
• [49:02] Navigating motherhood and career
• [51:10] Divorce, reframing relationships, and healthy co-parenting
• [56:51] Generational shift: leaving for the kids
• [62:15] Sex Life, sexual agency, and breaking taboos
• [68:56] Rediscovering herself as a single woman; embracing sensuality

Tone & Style

• Frank, funny, empathetic, and empowering.
• Equal parts vulnerability, wisdom, and humor—true to the “work in progress” theme.
• Both speakers frequently use plain language, playful banter, and unapologetic realness.

For Listeners

This episode is for anyone interested in stories of resilience, growth through pain, feminine agency, and the real, often humorous, messiness of becoming whole. Whether navigating personal transformation, relationships, or simply seeking more honest conversation about sexuality and selfhood, Sarah and Sophia deliver a refreshing blend of support, perspective, and laughter.

Next Episode:
Sophia teases that Part 2 of this conversation with Sarah Shahi will continue exploring these themes.