Podcast
Wounded Hearts Wounded Churches
Hosted by Prince E. Moon · EN
In this wide world, there are so many opportunities to be hurt or misused. Our podcast has served as a platform to express these wounded hearts, as well as provide helpful information and testimonies from those experiencing personal and church losses. We invite you to join us in our efforts to promote healing, forgiveness, and reconciliation in the hearts of individuals who were impacted by church disenfranchisement and personal wounds.
15episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Episode 252 | Torn Asunder - Bernie Tocholke (Part II)
Jun 1000:30:04Tap to summarizeChurch hurt doesn’t just bruise your feelings. It can reshape how you think, who you trust, and whether you believe God is safe. We sit down with author Bernie Tocholke to unpack the story behind his book Torn Asunder and why telling the truth about religious abuse can be part of the healing. We talk about what keeps people trapped in high-control churches and cult-like systems, especially the “we’re the only true church” message that makes leaving feel like losing salvation. Bernie shares concrete examples of coercive control, including distorted Scripture and pressure that reaches into personal choices and finances. If you’ve ever wondered how to spot the warning signs of a cult church, this conversation gives you language for what you’ve sensed. We also get practical about recovery. We discuss why isolation is dangerous after spiritual trauma, why some people swing from church pain into addiction, and why peer support matters so much. Prince connects the dots to real-world counseling approaches and the AA model of people helping people, while Bernie describes trauma symptoms like nightmares and the slow process of wounds becoming scars that no longer control your life. We end with hope rooted in reality: family relationships can be restored over time, forgiveness is possible, and staying anchored in Jesus matters more than loyalty to a harmful group. If this helped you, subscribe, share it with someone who’s struggling, and leave a review so more wounded hearts can find a path back to healing.Send us Fan MailVisit us online: https://woundedheartswoundedchurches.com
Transcribe →Episode 251 | Torn Asunder - Bernie Tocholke (Part I)
Jun 600:18:06Tap to summarizeA family can survive a lot, but it is different when the pressure comes from a place that calls itself holy. We’re joined by author Bernie Tocholke, whose memoir Torn Asunder in the Jaws of a Cult traces how church conflict and high-control religion helped rip his home apart and dragged the pain into divorce court, crushing financial demands, and even jail time. It’s an honest conversation about church hurt that doesn’t stay theoretical, because Bernie lived the consequences.We talk about what cult dynamics can look like inside church culture: obedience framed as “faith,” questions treated like rebellion, and spiritual language used to control medical choices and family loyalty. Bernie explains why he wrote the book even though publishing rarely pays, and why hearing from quiet readers who felt seen made the work worth it. If you’re searching for answers about spiritual abuse, religious trauma, or cult recovery, his story offers real markers to watch for and the hard truth about what these systems can do.We also spend time on healing, not as a slogan but as a process. Bernie opens up about bitterness, how writing became a release, and how nightmares followed him for years until he finally named what happened and challenged the false teaching head-on. He shares the practices that helped him keep going, including a sincere cry to God and the surprising power of humor when everything feels dark. We close by talking forgiveness, what it is, what it is not, and how you can let go of hate without pretending the harm was fine.If this conversation helps you, subscribe, share it with someone carrying church wounds, and leave a review so more people can find it. What question would you want to ask someone who survived spiritual abuse and rebuilt their life?Send us Fan MailVisit us online: https://woundedheartswoundedchurches.com
Transcribe →Episode 250 | Danny Lane and James DeGaffenreid - Bro. James (Part VII)
Jun 300:25:37Tap to summarizeChurch hurt can make you question everything, not just people, but God Himself. We sit with that reality and talk through what spiritual recovery can look like when the damage came from inside the church. Prince Moon welcomes James DeGraffenreid, who shares how he faced disappointment, manipulation, and deep discouragement and still found his way back to joy, fellowship, and purpose.We get practical about healing from religious trauma and religious abuse: starting with an honest prayer when you have no strength left, turning down the noise to think clearly again, and choosing steps that move you toward the Lord instead of deeper isolation. We also speak directly to young people who feel bitter or betrayed, reminding them that Jesus offers a close, personal relationship that no leader can control or take away.Discernment is a major focus too. We talk about “many voices,” false prophets, and church environments that pressure people into loyalty to a system or a personality instead of helping them grow in grace. If you have been harmed by a church culture, we share what to look for in a healthy Christian community and how to leave a damaging situation without losing Christ. If this conversation helps you, subscribe, share it with someone who is hurting, leave a review, and tell us what helped you start healing from church hurt.Send us Fan MailVisit us online: https://woundedheartswoundedchurches.com
Transcribe →Episode 249 | Danny Layne and James DeGaffenreid - Bro. James (Part VI)
May 2700:25:29Tap to summarizeThey locked him out of the camp meeting, not because he was violent, but because they were afraid people might listen and leave. That moment opens a bigger conversation about spiritual abuse, religious trauma, and the way cult-like control can train believers to trust leaders more than Jesus.We sit down with James DeGraffenreid to talk about what “man rule” looks like in real life, why destructive groups often isolate and manipulate, and how to start healing without drifting into bitterness or unbelief. James shares where to find his resources (COGR Chronicles: Exposing the Shadows, plus Let Us Reason Together) and answers a listener question about Bernie Tahoke’s videos on the Destructive Cults YouTube channel. If you’ve been trying to make sense of church hurt, shunning, or fear-based religion, you’ll hear language that helps you name what happened and separate Christ from control.We also get practical: why staying home can deepen wounds, how honest Christian community helps with blind spots, and what to say to children caught in church splits and confusion. James shares a personal story about his son’s severe asthma and a faith decision that still moves him, then offers a simple prayer for anyone at the end of themselves: “Lord, help me.”If this conversation resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who needs hope, and leave a review so more wounded people can find a path toward healing and a healthier church.Send us Fan MailVisit us online: https://woundedheartswoundedchurches.com
Transcribe →Episode 248 | Danny Layne and James DeGaffenreid - Bro. James (Part V)
May 2300:27:32Tap to summarizeChurch hurt doesn’t just bruise your feelings, it can derail your faith, isolate your family, and make you wonder if unity in the body of Christ is even possible. We sit down with Brother James DeGraffenreid to talk plainly about spiritual abuse, controlling leadership, and the slow drift from Spirit-led worship into man rule. He shares what he witnessed in the COGR over time, why these patterns damage people, and how we can respond without turning bitter or giving up on the church.We also get practical about church conflict and recovery. We walk through why believers have blind spots, why honest brotherhood matters, and how Matthew 18 offers a clear way to handle problems without feeding division. If you’ve ever felt pushed out, shamed into silence, or tempted to walk away from fellowship entirely, this conversation names that pain while pointing to a better path rooted in the Holy Spirit and the simplicity of the gospel.Finally, we speak directly to parents and households watching all of this unfold. We talk about praying together, fasting when God leads, inviting people back to church again, and finding a congregation where Christ is lifted up and healing can actually happen. If this helped you, subscribe, share it with someone rebuilding their faith after religious trauma, and leave a review so more wounded hearts can find hope.Send us Fan MailVisit us online: https://woundedheartswoundedchurches.com
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