SPONSORS:

- Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/YMH. Promo Code YMH

- Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse

- Go to https://Helixsleep.com/YMH for 20% Off Sitewide.

- Use code YMH at https://monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year.

Check your six, mommy! In this absolutely unhinged episode of Your Mom’s House, Tom and Christina suit up in tactical vests and announce a bold new YMH initiative: total-life preparedness. From flashlight stances to 10-second doorway scans, the leaders of the Mommy Militia learn how to navigate a world full of lurking threats, fire, danger, and of course… clowns. Shout out to Jason Fabus for the amazing sax intro (IG: @jasonfabus).

Tom and Christina show off an impressive array of emergency gear (machetes, trauma shears, MRE pizza with 5,000 calories, brass knuckles, and a foldable murder-credit-card), before the two dive into more safety guy Larry Betz safety lessons, some prime examples of black romance, horny James Joyce letters, trench foot, some horrible or hilarious clips, some TikTok's, and then addressing the loss of a truly stacked inspiration.

Stay safe. Stay ready. And never walk into a Chili’s without scanning the exits first.

Your Mom’s House Ep. 840

https://tomsegura.com/tour

https://christinap.com/

https://store.ymhstudios.com

https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast

Chapters

00:00:00 - Intro

00:00:12 - Farts & Safety

00:06:44 - Opening Clip: Restaurant Scan

00:16:40 - Clip: Safety Shaun

00:18:59 - More Safety Tips & The Perfect Neighbor

00:30:54 - Clip: Misgendered Meltdown

00:35:11 - Clip: Talk To The Butt

00:37:08 - James Joyce Love Letters

00:41:31 - Clip: Big Gay Clowns

00:43:59 - Madonna

00:47:03 - Clip: Headbutt Self Defense

00:48:46 - Horrible Or Hilarious

00:54:15 - Clip: Isolation Year

00:57:41 - RIP Mary Magdalene

00:59:16 - Clip: Pastor's Cool Advice For Women

01:04:38 - Fedsmoker Jr

01:09:05 - TikToks

01:19:38 - Final Safety Tips

01:22:01 - Closing Song - "She Got Tits" by Joseph and John Juarez

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices