Episode Summary: "Cuneiform (Radio Edit)"

You're Dead to Me is a BBC Radio 4 comedy podcast hosted by Greg Jenner, where history meets humor. In the episode titled "Cuneiform," released on June 20, 2025, Jenner delves into the origins, significance, and decipherment of one of humanity's earliest writing systems—cuneiform. Joined by the esteemed assyriologist Dr. Moody Al Rashid from the University of Oxford and the hilarious comedian Phil Wang, the trio explores the rich tapestry of Mesopotamian history with both scholarly insight and comedic flair.

1. Introduction to Cuneiform

The episode kicks off with Greg Jenner setting the stage for an exploration of cuneiform, the first-ever writing system developed around 3350 BCE in southern Iraq. Dr. Moody Al Rashid provides a foundational understanding:

“Cuneiform was a writing system developed just before 3000 BCE in what is now southern Iraq... It gets its name from the Latin cuneus, which means wedge, because they get impressed into clay, they have this characteristic wedge or triangular shape.” (04:37)

Phil Wang adds a humorous touch, initially misinterpreting cuneiform but eventually catching on:

“I picture triangles. Yeah. Sort of carved triangles. A lot of grain. Barley.” (02:32)

2. Deciphering Cuneiform: Henry Rawlinson and the Behistun Inscription

A significant portion of the discussion revolves around the decipherment of cuneiform by Henry Rawlinson, an English officer of the British East India Company. Dr. Al Rashid elaborates on Rawlinson's contributions:

“He was invited in by the Shah of Persia... What exactly was cuneiform?... He and a bunch of other philologists basically looked for patterns in these trilingual inscriptions... the Behistun inscription...” (07:03)

Phil Wang humorously engages with the topic, attempting to guess Rawlinson’s nationality and role:

“Is Behistun similar to Rosetta Stone in that it's the same script in two or three different languages?” (08:06)

Dr. Al Rashid clarifies the complexity and collaborative efforts in deciphering cuneiform:

“It's a trilingual inscription, but all using cuneiform... people knew Old Persian from other texts... Assyriology was established as a discipline.” (08:11)

3. The Library of Nineveh: A Treasure Trove of Knowledge

The conversation shifts to the discovery of the Royal Library of Nineveh, unearthed in what is now Mosul, Iraq. Dr. Al Rashid highlights its vastness:

“An incredible royal library was unearthed from Nineveh... about 30,000 tablets...” (09:23)

Phil Wang muses on the preservation of these tablets:

“Was always clay.” (10:19)

Dr. Al Rashid emphasizes the library's significance in preserving diverse disciplines:

“You have astronomy, medicine, literature, omens... such a vast collection.” (10:16)

4. The Invention of Cuneiform: Accounting to Literature

Greg Jenner draws parallels between ancient accounting systems and modern software:

“The invention of writing is an accounting system. It's like a software for keeping track of your receipts.” (13:02)

Dr. Al Rashid agrees, explaining the practical origins of cuneiform:

“Cuneiform is a mix of signs that were characters that stand for whole words and characters that stand for syllables...” (11:35)

Phil Wang adds humor while acknowledging the sophistication of the writing system:

“They thought, let’s just try this.” (12:52)

5. Literacy and Scribes in Ancient Mesopotamia

The episode delves into who could read and write in ancient Mesopotamia. Dr. Al Rashid elaborates:

“Some went on to become scribes and administrators... others became medical professionals or astronomers...” (13:41)

Phil Wang jokes about the complexity of becoming literate:

“I wish I had a skill in it.” (06:25)

Dr. Al Rashid introduces Elhaduanna, the first named author in history:

“She’s the first named author in history... Elhaduanna, a princess writing 4,300 years ago.” (14:37)

6. Cuneiform and Communication: Letters and Literature

The hosts explore the use of cuneiform in personal and administrative communication. Dr. Al Rashid shares examples of letters and administrative records:

“They wrote letters to each other and they sent them... includes women.” (15:14)

Phil Wang humorously speculates on the content of ancient letters:

“Probably like, this place sucks... It’s really hot.” (15:30)

Dr. Al Rashid provides a poignant example of a letter between a husband and wife, revealing personal and societal dynamics:

“She's writing to him, quite fiery letters. One of them reads, when you went away, you did not leave a single shekel of silver...” (18:19)

7. Cuneiform in Religion and Divination

The episode touches on the intertwining of writing, religion, and divination in Mesopotamia. Dr. Al Rashid explains:

“There was a really close connection between the divine and the sciences... an entire textbooks filled with omens.” (20:01)

Phil Wang amusingly imagines the process of divination:

“How would you go about telling the future with sheep?... If they spell out SOS...” (22:22)

Dr. Al Rashid describes the ritualistic use of cuneiform in divination:

“They would place this tablet in front of the statue of the relevant deity... reading the liver like they would read cuneiform signs.” (23:15)

8. The Longevity and Legacy of Cuneiform

Greg Jenner marvels at the durability of cuneiform as a writing system:

“Cuneiform is quite a stable technology. It changes a little bit over time... you can still read it through that time.” (24:04)

Dr. Al Rashid notes its extensive usage span:

“From 3350 BCE to 79 CE... the last tablet from Uruk.” (23:57)

Phil Wang reflects on the impressive longevity:

“It's a stable technology. It changes a little bit over the time in terms of the font, in terms of the how it's written...” (24:34)

9. Human Stories Preserved in Cuneiform: The Case of Latubashini

In a moving conclusion, Dr. Al Rashid shares the story of La Tubashini, a woman who fought for her children's freedom in 560 BCE:

“La Tubashini was sold into slavery by marriage... around 560 BCE, she was emancipated... fought for the freedom of her children.” (25:28)

He emphasizes the human aspect preserved through cuneiform:

“They were not the other and neither are any of us from each other...” (27:20)

Reflections and Closing Remarks

Greg Jenner wraps up the episode by highlighting the enduring relevance of cuneiform and the human stories it preserves. He encourages listeners to explore more Mesopotamian history through previous episodes and to engage with the podcast for a blend of education and entertainment.

“Join me next time as we decode another message from the past.” (28:01)

Phil Wang and Dr. Al Rashid bid farewell with their characteristic humor and insights, leaving listeners both informed and amused.

Notable Quotes:

• Phil Wang: “I can speak it very fluently. No, I don't know why you have such a problem with me saying it.” (24:51)

• Dr. Moody Al Rashid: “Like a Victorian schoolboy learning Latin, so he'd go and become a lawyer.” (20:14)

• Phil Wang: “That's sick. Yeah. Really cool.” (15:12)

Key Takeaways:

• Cuneiform's Significance: As one of the earliest writing systems, cuneiform was pivotal in administrative, literary, and religious contexts in ancient Mesopotamia.

• Decipherment Efforts: Henry Rawlinson's work, alongside the Behistun inscription, was crucial in unlocking the secrets of cuneiform, leading to the establishment of Assyriology.

• Library of Nineveh: This vast collection of tablets offers invaluable insights into Mesopotamian society, spanning disciplines from astronomy to literature.

• Human Stories: Beyond administrative records, cuneiform preserves personal letters and poignant human narratives, underscoring the universality of human experiences across millennia.

• Legacy: Cuneiform's longevity highlights its adaptability and the foundational role it played in the development of subsequent writing systems and civilizations.

For those intrigued by the fusion of history and humor, this episode of You're Dead to Me offers a comprehensive and entertaining exploration of cuneiform, bringing ancient Clay tablets to life through engaging dialogue and insightful commentary.