You're Dead to Me: Episode Summary – "Cuneiform: The World’s First Writing System"

Release Date: March 21, 2025

In this engaging episode of "You’re Dead to Me," BBC Radio 4’s comedy podcast that takes history seriously, host Greg Jenner delves into the origins and significance of cuneiform, the world's first writing system. Joined by two distinguished guests—Dr. Moody Al Rashid, an Assyriologist from the University of Oxford, and the ever-hilarious comedian Phil Wang—the trio uncovers the intricate history, usage, and legacy of cuneiform, blending scholarly insights with witty banter.

1. Understanding Cuneiform

[01:08] Greg Jenner introduces the episode by defining cuneiform as one of humanity’s earliest writing systems, developed around 3000 BCE in what is now southern Iraq. He welcomes Dr. Moody Al Rashid, an expert in Mesopotamian history, and Phil Wang, a comedian known for his sharp wit and recurring appearances on the podcast.

Dr. Moody Al Rashid elaborates on the term "cuneiform," explaining, “Cuneiform gets its name from the Latin 'cuneus', meaning wedge, because of the characteristic wedge or triangular shapes impressed into clay tablets” ([05:26]).

2. The Birth and Evolution of Cuneiform

Initially, cuneiform began as protowriting, pictorial representations that gradually evolved into a sophisticated script capable of representing multiple languages, including Sumerian and Akkadian. Phil Wang humorously attempts to visualize cuneiform, associating it with "triangles" and "shapes representing barley and fish*" ([02:51]).

Dr. Moody highlights, “Cuneiform was not just a script for one language; it's like the Latin alphabet today, used across various languages with some variations” ([07:15]).

3. Deciphering Cuneiform: A Historical Puzzle

The episode delves into the challenges and breakthroughs in deciphering cuneiform. Greg Jenner quizzes Phil Wang on the nationality of the key figure in this endeavor.

Phil Wang initially guesses French, but it's revealed to be Henry Rawlinson, an English soldier often credited as the "father of Assyriology." Dr. Moody adds, “Rawlinson and contemporaries like Edward Hincks played pivotal roles in decoding cuneiform, particularly through the Behistun Inscription” ([09:12]).

A notable quote from Dr. Moody states, “The Behistun Inscription was like the Rosetta Stone for Assyriology, providing a trilingual key that unlocked the script’s secrets” ([10:14]).

4. The Royal Library of Nineveh

Greg introduces King Ashurbanipal and his monumental Royal Library of Nineveh, which housed approximately 30,000 clay tablets encompassing a vast array of knowledge—from astronomy and medicine to literature like the Epic of Gilgamesh.

Phil Wang humorously remarks, “It's like the Great British Bake Off's cuneiform week, where they bake tablets instead of cakes” ([24:20]).

Dr. Moody emphasizes the library’s significance: “The discovery of the Royal Library was a game-changer, providing scholars with an unprecedented collection of Mesopotamian texts” ([16:50]).

5. Daily Life and Literature Through Cuneiform

Cuneiform tablets offer a profound glimpse into daily life and personal relationships in ancient Mesopotamia. The podcast highlights the letters between Inaya, a merchant in Anatolia, and Taram Kubi, his wife in Ashur, revealing personal grievances and familial struggles.

Phil Wang comically interprets these letters: “How's the journey? How's the Bali? You must have been there for a while if there was time for a clay tablet exchange” ([38:01]).

Dr. Moody shares, “These tablets humanize ancient civilizations, showing that personal conflicts and emotions are timeless” ([38:28]).

6. Education of Scribes

The training of scribes is explored through the discovery of House F in Nippur, where over 1,400 school texts provide insights into scribal education. Dr. Moody notes, “Students began with basic wedge marks as children and progressed to advanced mathematics and literature, much like modern educational systems” ([42:09]).

Phil Wang humorously likens this to, “English boys learning Latin to become lawyers” ([43:35]).

7. Religion, Divination, and Cuneiform

Cuneiform’s role extended into the spiritual realm, intertwining divination and religion. Dr. Moody explains, “In ancient Mesopotamia, supernatural elements were part of everyday explanations. Cuneiform was used to record omens, astronomical observations, and even messages from the gods through divination practices” ([45:01]).

A memorable moment includes the discussion of using sheep liver in divination: “They would place a tablet in front of a deity’s statue, interpret the entrails like reading cuneiform signs, and thus seek divine guidance” ([47:35]).

8. Stability and Legacy of Cuneiform

Cuneiform remained in use for over 5,000 years, with the last known inscription dated to 79 CE from Uruk. Dr. Moody reflects, “The longevity of cuneiform is a testament to its adaptability and the stability of the Mesopotamian civilizations” ([48:28]).

Phil Wang adds humorously, “Philology Wang can speak cuneiform fluently now—if only it's a language!” ([52:16]).

9. Notable Discoveries: Stories Preserved in Clay

The episode highlights La Tubashini, a woman whose legal struggle for her children's freedom is immortalized in cuneiform tablets. Dr. Moody narrates, “Her story is a powerful reminder that ancient writings preserve the courage and humanity of individuals, transcending millennia” ([52:48]).

Phil Wang expresses admiration: “It's amazing. You never think of these old forms of writing being able to convey such emotion and nuance” ([39:31]).

10. Quickfire Quiz: Testing Phil’s Knowledge

Towards the end, Greg Jenner conducts a rapid-fire quiz to recap the episode’s key points, with Phil Wang impressively scoring 10 out of 10:

1. Shape Origin: Triangle/wedge ([55:23])

2. Geographical Origin: Mesopotamia ([55:31])

3. Decipherer: Henry Rawlinson ([55:54])

4. Earliest Topic: Beer ([55:56])

5. Divination Purpose: Eliciting messages from gods ([56:16])

6. Doodles Found: Teacher with a cane ([56:29])

7. Language Example: Akkadian ([56:37])

8. Cruciform Monument: A deliberate forgery using cuneiform signs ([56:47])

9. Library Fate: Burned down in 612 BCE ([57:07])

10. Last Inscription: 79 CE ([57:16])

Phil Wang humorously declares himself a "philologist," much to the amusement of Greg and Dr. Moody.

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with heartfelt thanks to Dr. Moody Al Rashid for his expertise and Phil Wang for blending humor with historical insights. Greg Jenner encourages listeners to explore more episodes featuring Mesopotamian history and other eclectic historical topics, ensuring that learning history is both entertaining and enlightening.

Notable Closing Quote:

Dr. Moody Al Rashid: “Cuneiform preserves so much of life from ancient Mesopotamia. It tells us about their working lives, their literature, their personal relationships, and even their struggles. It’s a window into the human experience across millennia” ([54:40]).

This comprehensive exploration of cuneiform not only educates listeners about the technical aspects of the script but also brings to life the personal and societal dimensions of ancient Mesopotamian civilization. Through the combined efforts of historians and comedians, the episode underscores that history is rich with stories that resonate across time.