
Hosted by Walt Mueller · EN

When the internet, smartphones, and gaming devices were relatively new, experts were unwilling to label habitual use of these digital tools as addiction. But now that they’ve been around for some time, experts are able to look not only at the anecdotal evidences of digital device addiction, but a growing amount of data that supports how habit-forming these things are. The journal Frontiers in Psychology is reporting on research telling us that excessive engagement in digital activities has been shown to result in negative effects on physical health, mental health, academic performance, occupational functioning, and interpersonal social skills. The researchers are saying that digital addiction’s impact on our kids is similar in scope to that of anxiety and depression. Parents, we have been called to protect our kids from harm and to provide for their well-being. Don’t introduce screens too early, and when you do, set and enforce boundaries and limits.

If you pay any attention at all to the changes taking place in youth culture, you will be sure to encounter words and terms occasioned by the new pressures, problems, challenges, and opportunities facing our kids as they grow up in today’s world. One of those terms that should cause us to wake up and take notice is this: nudification tools. These tools take the form of artificial intelligence- powered apps that allow users to upload a picture of a person, then hit a button to create sexualized images, typically nude photos. A new study from George Mason University has found that the use of these nudification tools which have historically been used by more boys than girls, are now being used by girls at the same rate as teenage boys. Researchers found that roughly one in six teen girls and boys used nudification tools frequently to see how they looked. Nudification is becoming normalized for our kids. Parents, warn your kids about the moral, relational, and spiritual issues related to this troubling trend.

Over the course of the last few years I’ve been thinking more and more about the powerful role that grandparents play in the lives of their grandchildren. If you’re a grandparent, perhaps you’ve already verbalized what most grandparents think: that the world has changed so much that it is increasingly difficult for kids to grow through adolescence and into adulthood without cuts, bruises, and scars. Maybe you’ve even said, “I’m glad I’m not raising kids in today’s world.” Yes, it’s difficult for kids. But if you’re a grandparent I want to encourage you to not give up, to not feel powerless, or to fall into the trap of feeling like your influence is not important. There is a powerful role that you can and must play. Research shows that the most resilient kids are those who have parents, grandparents, and other adults in their lives who endeavor to talk about and model what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ. Grandparents, you do matter and make a difference!

Recently, I was watching one of those videos where a man was running a large sieve through the sand at a beach, to find coins, jewelry, and other treasures. At one point he pulled his sieve up out of the sand , finding a red iPod that had been lost for who knows how long. Perhaps sometime during or after 2001, you had purchased and were using your own ipod, which at the time was a cutting edge piece of technology. Since twenty-five years have passed and technology has advanced, you might think that the beachcomber would have thrown away that find. But he didn’t. Now, younger generations are flocking to ebay and other sites to purchase the device which as of 2022, had been discontinued. Why is this happening? Not only is there a surge of nostalgia for the ipod in today’s youth culture, but users are saying that by listening to music on an ipod and not a phone, there are no notification distractions. Could it be that our kids are longing for the relative quiet we once knew?

Since we’re currently in the midst of wedding season, there’s a good chance you’ve been invited and will attend the wedding of a young couple you know. As Christians living in a world where marriage is no longer held up as a sacred thing, it’s always good, beautiful, and refreshing to see a couple covenant together before God in marriage. As with most wedding receptions these days, you might see the couple choreograph and carefully perform an elaborate dance at the start of the reception. I don’t know about you, but it’s hard to not rejoice at the looks on their faces as they focus their eyes on each other, smiling with joy in anticipation of their life together. Of course, this only the first day of the life they anticipate living together. But like all newly married couples, they have no idea what they are dancing into. Parents, we need to instruct our children in the fact that marital love is a commitment to with God’s help, stick together through the good and the bad of life.

Let me make a very direct statement here regarding some of the ridiculous decisions parents are making regarding their kids and youth sports: Parents, we are losing our minds! I’m speaking specifically about the high cost of travel tournaments that are publicized in ways that make you feel like your kid is really, really privileged and special in ways that get us to miss the fact that these tournaments are taking big bucks out of your pockets and putting them in the pockets of the tournament organizers. Case in point: If you are invited to have your twelve and under baseball player go to play in the Cooperstown All-Star Village Invitational Tournament this summer in New York, it will cost about thirteen hundred dollars per player, plus travel. If an average family of three decides to go along, there will be about four thousand dollars of additional costs for travel, food, and lodging. Parents, are you spending your time and money wisely? And, what are you teaching your kids?

I recently had a college professor tell me about an assignment he gave to his class, as they were in the midst of studying anxiety. “I want you to put your phones aside for three days”, he said. “Do not look at them or use them. And, do not lie to me.” One student came to him after class to protest. “I hate this assignment!”, she said. This was a young lady who, like many of her classmates, was struggling to navigate her own battle with anxiety. Still, she took the challenge and came back to him after three days and told him this: “On day one, I was miserable and hated it. Day two was a bit easier. On day three I discovered what it was that was making me anxious.” This student’s experience is one that more and more young people are having as they muster up the courage to detach from their phones to see what might happen. In a world where our kids are tethered and addicted to their devices, they need parents who will set and enforce clear borders and boundaries that in the end, advance their flourishing.

There’s a prayer in the Anglican Church of North America’s “Book of Common Prayer” that I found very helpful during this year’s Lenten Season. It is one of the prayers to be prayed during the Sunday’s leading up to Easter, this one specifically for the fifth Sunday in lent. What I love about this prayer is its recognition of the issues we and our kids face as a result of living in a rapidly changing world that is in so many ways opposed to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Let me suggest that you pray this prayer for your kids and family. Here is that prayer: "Almighty God, you alone can bring into order the unruly wills and affections of sinners: Grant your people grace to love what you command and desire what you promise; that, among the swift and varied changes of this world, our hearts may surely there be fixed where true joys are to be found; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen."

Yesterday we celebrated Mother’s Day. As Christians, this day should bring to mind the fifth commandment, which reads, “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” Over 40 years ago, Dr. John Huffman wrote this about the 5th commandment in his book, “Liberating Limits: “God pity the society led by brash young people who have the answers but very little respect for their elders. Anarchy comes quickly. Allow young people to be alienated from their parents and you’ll observe a nation drift into moral and social anarchy. Family life is crucial to a healthy society. Children who grab hold of the household reins, pushing their parents aside, inflict a serious damage on a society. Young people who grow up without subjection to authority are programming themselves for unhappiness. A society as well as an individual pays an enormous price for weakening the honor paid to fathers and mothers.”

One of the great forefathers of our Christian faith was Augustine of Hippo, who lived from 354 to 430 AD. You may know him as Saint Augustine. Perhaps you’ve even read some of his writing, including his Confessions, which is his autobiography, and the City of God. His conversion story is fairly well known, as his mother had diligently prayed seventeen years for her son to come to faith in Jesus Christ. Recently, I’ve been reading a little book of quotes from Augustine, and I ran across these words from one of his sermons. I believe they’re good words to inform the way we parent: "Good superiors rebuke those who stir up strife, comfort those of little courage, take the part of the weak, refute opponents, and guard against traps. They teach the ignorant, awake the indolent, put the presumptuous in their place, mollify the quarrelsome, help the poor, liberate the oppressed, encourage the good, suffer the wicked, and love everyone." Parents, love your children well!