John

November 29, the day after Thanksgiving Day, was the first anniversary of my brother John’s death. Normally, I write my Substacks on Friday and record them on Saturday to have them ready for early Sunday morning. That was my plan, but God laughed, I suppose.

All week, I’d had vivid dreams of my brother and my mother—the anniversary of her death is next Sunday. Some of the dreams were full of grief; others pleasant imagining of a continued life together. I texted with my siblings as we shared our feelings. On Friday, I talked with one of my sisters, who called to check in with me.

Since I wasn’t having any success writing about John, I decided to work on some sewing projects while I considered his life. I’m making some small tote bags with inner and outer pockets and fun details as ‘thank yous’ for people who are blurbing my upcoming book. But I kept making unforced errors. Things I could fix, but it was frustrating. I don’t have a pattern (except the one in my head), but all of the ten pieces are rectangles of various sizes, easy to cut, easy to sew. I’ve done this sort of thing before and know the order of the steps. Yet, I kept dropping a step here or there and moving to the next one before realizing my mistake and having to backtrack.

I stopped. Better just to think about John. I’ve written an essay about him that’s out on submission in an anthology on sibling loss. One thing that didn’t fit in that essay was something John used to say, something our brother Lee reminded us of: It’s OPM, so let’s enjoy it.

OPM: Other People’s Money

OPM is Other People’s Money. John would say it about winning when he gambled. He liked to play blackjack. He won frequently—Far more often than chance would indicate. I believe he could count cards. And when he did win and other people were with him, he had them join in the fun of spending. He was someone who treated windfalls the way they should be treated.

On a weeklong water skiing trip to Lake Mead, he won in Las Vegas and treated all week for food and drinks. On another trip to Vegas, he missed a meet up with my sisters. Everyone wondered what had happened to him and got the Tropicana Hotel employees to open his door. He hadn’t slept in his room. He’d been winning and stayed at the tables. He apologized and gave a thousand dollars to each of the people waiting for him. Because—OPM. Why not?

Since the anniversary of John’s death will always be close to Thanksgiving, I’ll concentrate on his generosity to enjoy his memory. He was openhanded in other, more conventional ways, too, though those don’t make good family stories. Thinking of his life serves as a reminder that windfalls aren’t to be hoarded. When something positive, unexpected and unearned, comes along, let’s share.

This is a favorite photo of John, pitching for his high school baseball team, the Villa Park Spartans. I’m pretty sure it was taken by someone on the high school yearbook staff. I love that you can see the ball flying through the air, on its way to the batter.

What I’m reading

I finally finished Shadows of Carcosa: Tales of Cosmic Horror

Some of the stories were so-so despite their famous authors. The ones that had the creepy atmosphere I was looking for: “The House of Sounds” by M.P. Shiel; “The White People” by Arthur Machen; “The Willows” by Algernon Blackwood; and “Seaton’s Aunt” by Walter de la Mare. I was surprised not to have had much reaction to the H.P. Lovecraft story “The Colour Out of Space.” And I felt kind of stupid for not enjoying the Henry James story “ The Jolly Corner.” When I read James in college and grad school, I found everything brilliant. And later “The Turn of the Screw” had that creepy vibe and the psychological depth. So—I’m not sure if I’ve just lost my sense of enjoyment in a deep, difficult story or if “The Jolly Corner” isn’t as good as the other works by James that I’d read. I found the Edgar Allan Poe story “ MS. Found in a Bottle” meh. The other stories I liked, but they didn’t have the atmosphere I was hoping for.

I started “The Oceans of Cruelty: Twenty-Five Tales of a Corpse Spirit: A Retelling” by Douglas J. Penick (based on twenty-five ancient tales from India). It’s not what I expected. More about it when I finish.

I listened to a book about being a guest on podcasts. Then I thought about how I’d bought the audiobook James by Percival Everett many weeks ago. Later, it won the National Book Award. And isn’t Everett sharing his talent a windfall for readers? I needed to listen to it and forget my unrelenting worries about social media and how bad I am at it.

James lived up to all the hype. I think it’s a better experience if the reader is familiar with The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and can recall the plot. I taught it more than once to eleventh graders, the year for American literature. Huck is a great book for about two-thirds and then falls apart in the last third. Having Tom Sawyer in there just messes up everything. He should have been left to the children’s books, and I was glad to see that James gives him short shrift. And has a better ending, in both the sense of fitting with the rest of the book and in the sense of dealing with the issue of slavery. James feels like it took the story and got it right, including a big surprise that was quite fitting. So—like everyone else in the literary universe—I highly recommend it.

Gratitude for resources against book bans

Book Rationales from the National Council of Teachers of English

The NCTE has rationales for 1300 books, searchable by title or by grade level. It also has position statements on Supporting teachers and students in discussing complex topics and educators’ right and responsibilities to engage in antiracist teaching.

Library book challenge and ban news

‘Literally heartbreaking as a librarian’ 150 titles pulled from Rutherford County school libraries From the Tennessee Lookout

Public school officials have asked Tenn. attorney general’s office for guidance on how to implement new school book law, calling it vaguely worded

150 book titles had to be removed from the shelves – or tracked down and taken from kids who had borrowed them.

Immediately.

“Librarians had to drop everything they were doing: no more checking books in and out, no answering questions or assisting with research, not able to do the jobs they love to do. Some even had to shut down their library for the day,” said Elizabeth Shepherd, librarian at the Discovery School in Murfreesboro who described the frantic text message exchanges among fellow librarians that ensued.

…

The books were removed without formal review by school board members, librarians, teachers or parents less than 24 hours after an emailed request to Rutherford County Director of Schools James Sullivan from a school board member.….

“Public Chapter 782 is the source of this chaos and confusion for school librarians in Tennessee, as it creates a way for unchallenged books to be removed from the shelves, does not take into account the age or maturity level of the student, and it encourages self-censorship,” the Tennessee Association of School Librarians said in a statement.

The association said the law has put educators in the position of deciding on whether books meet new “legal standards that have not been adequately explained by the State of Tennessee in the form of guidance.” …

In the meantime, some school districts have begun to proactively remove books that could violate the new law, relying largely on a single website created by a Florida resident and former member of the conservative parents’ rights group, Moms for Liberty, that rates books on their sexual content, violence and explicit language.

AND TANGO MAKES THREE Authors Seek Settlement in Escambia County School Lawsuit from Book Riot

This week … the Selendy Gay attorneys working on behalf of Parnell and Richardson have filed a motion for a summary judgement to U.S. District Judge Allen Winsor. The motion would allow Winsor to make a decision on the case without it having to go to trial, and in this case, the attorneys filed the motion based on two significant pieces of evidence that have emerged: first, the educational value of And Tango Makes Three and the lack of evidence proving that the book is harmful in the educational system and second, the personal anti-LGBTQ+ beliefs of the school board members as revealed by destroyed evidence uncovered during seven months of discovery.

Summary judgements can be requested after the discovery phase of a lawsuit. The discovery phase is when allegations are investigated and evidence is obtained to support the claims made in the dispute. A motion for a summary judgment comes when a party believes there is no dispute of material fact and that there are no questions to dispute their belief in material fact.

In other words, the plaintiffs believe evidence is crystal clear that the district removed And Tango Makes Three based on their own personal b...