What does it really take to become a surrogate physically, emotionally, and mentally?

In this episode of Fertility Café, Eloise Drane sits down with Darnae Pitts, wife, mother of two, and two-time gestational surrogate, to talk about what surrogacy actually looks like behind the scenes.

From being initially denied due to mental health and BMI requirements to navigating a divorce before starting her first journey, Darnae shares the determination it took to qualify. She opens up about losing weight to meet medical guidelines, strengthening her mental health, and learning that “not right now” did not mean “never.”

Darnae walks us through both of her surrogacy journeys, including an unexpected emergency C-section at 38 weeks, a successful VBAC the second time, and the emotional moment of watching intended parents meet their babies for the first time. She speaks candidly about hormone injections, intense medical screenings, strict IVF schedules, and the physical and emotional realities that most people never see.

The conversation also explores boundaries in the delivery room, cultural stigma around surrogacy, breastfeeding and pumping after delivery, balancing marriage and motherhood while carrying for another family, and what recovery truly feels like once the baby goes home with their parents.

If you have ever wondered how surrogates give the baby back…
If you have questioned whether you could emotionally handle carrying for someone else…
If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to know what it really requires…

This episode offers an honest and grounded look at the strength, structure, and support necessary for a successful journey.

You’ll Learn

Why mental health stability is essential before becoming a surrogate
What the medical screening process actually involves
The BMI and health requirements agencies look for
How IVF medications and hormone injections impact the body
What it feels like emotionally to deliver a baby for another family
How to set clear boundaries during appointments and delivery
The realities of postpartum recovery after surrogacy
Why not everyone should become a surrogate
What makes someone mentally and emotionally prepared for a second journey

About Our Guest

Darnae Pitts is a wife, mother of two, and two-time gestational surrogate who felt called to help other families experience parenthood.

After navigating a divorce, prioritizing her mental health, and meeting strict medical qualifications, Darnae completed two successful surrogacy journeys. Her experiences included both an emergency C-section and a VBAC delivery, pumping breastmilk postpartum, and maintaining close relationships with both intended families.

Darnae is passionate about educating others on what surrogacy truly involves and hopes her story helps intended parents and future surrogates better understand the commitment, boundaries, and strength required to build families through surrogacy.

Resources & Links

Learn more about surrogacy and Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com
Follow Fertility Café on Instagram: @fertilitycafe
Watch full episodes on YouTube: Fertility Café

Related Episodes

Ep 128 – What Surrogacy Really Feels Like: A Candid Conversation

Ep 112 – Surrogate Logistics – Travel, Timelines, and Support