If You Keep Waiting Until You're Ready, This Is for You (Real Coaching Session Breakthrough)

Summary

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Podcast Episode Summary

Healing + Human Potential with Alyssa Nobriga

Episode Title: If You Keep Waiting Until You're Ready, This Is for You (Real Coaching Session Breakthrough)
Release Date: August 11, 2026

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Overview:

In this powerful episode, Alyssa Nobriga explores the deeper roots of procrastination and “waiting until you’re ready,” centered around a real, raw coaching session with a client named Erica. Alyssa interweaves live coaching moments with step-by-step commentary, revealing how our external goals often mask deeper emotional needs—such as a fear of being seen or feelings of inadequacy. The episode leans into the intersection of psychology, somatic (body-based) coaching, and ancient wisdom with practical strategies for deep healing and self-acceptance. Alyssa walks listeners through her methodology, encouraging gentle self-inquiry and body-centered presence to unlock lasting transformation.

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Key Discussion Points & Deep Insights:

1. Unpacking External Goals to Find the Deeper Need

• [02:33] Erica shares her goal of wanting a master’s degree, believing it will make her feel more intelligent and worthy.
  • Quote: “I think I need to work around this belief that I have around needing an academic degree… to feel like I’m smart enough, good enough, qualified enough.” – Erica [02:36]
• Alyssa underscores that beneath external goals usually lies a desire to experience a particular feeling: safety, belonging, acceptance, intelligence.
  • Quote: “What is it that you want, and what do you think it’ll make you feel?” – Alyssa [03:34]

2. Somatic Awareness as the Path to Authentic Healing

• Erica is guided to locate emotional sensations in her body rather than staying in her head—heart warmth, trembling around her mouth.
  • Quote: “Notice that I’m watching her body more than even what she’s saying, because the body is the unconscious.” – Alyssa [05:22]
• Alyssa instructs listeners to check in with physical sensations, not just mental chatter, noting the importance of curiosity and self-compassion over judgment.

3. The Courage to Fully Feel—Not Fix—Difficult Emotions

• [07:09] & [10:53] Erica recalls childhood memories of loneliness and feeling unsafe, tracing current insecurity back to early abandonment.
  • Quote: “I feel misunderstood. I feel like no one’s truly there for me. I feel so alone. I feel insecure and unsafe.” – Erica [10:53]
• Alyssa emphasizes the difference between being consumed by emotion and consciously allowing it:
  • Quote: “There’s a big difference between consciously presencing and allowing an emotion, and being identified with it… It’s not who you are.” – Alyssa [08:03]

4. Somatic Release and Integration in Real Time

• Erica is encouraged to give herself what she needed as a child—holding herself, offering words of reassurance directly to her ‘unsafe’ part.
  • Quote: “You’re never alone. And although you feel alone, it’s just a sensation that will pass. And I’m here for you. I’m here to hold you.” – Erica [12:05]
• The session models “the paradox of transformation”: by fully facing and feeling insecurity or fear, deeper security emerges from within.
  • Quote: “If you feel insecurity, when fully allowed and met, ironically on the other side of that is a deeper security that doesn’t come and go…” – Alyssa [13:37]

5. Permission to Be Imperfect and Seen

• Erica moves toward self-permission to “be dumb,” ask “stupid questions,” and let her imperfections show—countering the pressure to appear flawless.
  • Quote: “I’m allowed to ask any question that I want, and it doesn’t have to sound academic or smart… I’m allowed to make mistakes.” – Erica [17:17]
• The coaching normalizes shaking, trembling, and other bodily releases as signs of emotional integration, not breakdown.

6. Breakthrough: Acceptance, Authenticity, and Agency

• [22:07] Erica experiences shifts: her voice deepens, her body feels lighter. She describes “being herself,” safety, and freedom to take up space.
  • Quote: “I’m actually able to sit here and have a normal conversation… Like, I’m being myself and I’m being seen by a lot of people. I’m okay.” – Erica [22:11]
• Alyssa clarifies that the goal is not constant calmness, but increased capacity to stay present with a wider range of emotions.
  • Quote: “The real work of nervous system regulation work is to stretch the capacity to be with the range of your human experience and stay present and resourced through it.” – Alyssa [24:03]

7. From Surviving to Thriving—Taking Real-life Steps

• The session ends with Erica reconnecting to her passion (coaching) and knowing, from this grounded place, that pursuing a master’s degree to feel “ready” is no longer necessary.
  • Quote: “It’s the right choice… to pursue what I love, which is coaching. You know, I want to get started with that.” – Erica [27:46]
  • Quote: “It was a shift in you, which gave yourself permission to be dumb, to not be smart… As you did, you felt authentic.” – Coach [28:54]
• Alyssa closes with a self-inquiry blueprint for listeners to apply the process in their lives:
  • What’s your external goal?
  • What’s the promised emotion if you achieve it?
  • If you don’t get the goal, what are you afraid you’ll feel?
  • Are you willing to feel that feeling—just as a sensation—for two minutes?

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “What if the thing you’re most afraid of isn’t failing, but of fully being seen?” – Alyssa [01:12]
• “My whole body’s shaking.” – Erica [00:21]; “Let it shake. There’s intelligence in that… Yeah, you’re safe.” – Coach [00:22]
• “Acceptance is so much deeper than, say something like confidence, because confidence comes and goes. But there’s a deeper acceptance that’s available that offers us a greater level of freedom and peace.” – Alyssa [23:19]
• “Healing isn’t about becoming someone new. Healing is about creating enough safety within your nervous system so that all parts of yourself that were hiding get to be allowed and integrated.” – Alyssa [31:21]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:00-01:12] Introduction: Erica’s fear of being seen; Alyssa's intention for the session
• [02:33-04:53] Goal setting & the “goal under the goal”
• [05:03-07:09] Beginning somatic exploration—body sensations emerge
• [07:09-08:03] Childhood roots: memory of abandonment
• [10:53-12:05] Connecting to and expressing deep emotions of loneliness and unsafety
• [12:55-13:37] Self-compassion and the paradox of transformation
• [17:12-17:35] “Permission to be dumb” and acceptance of imperfection
• [20:08-22:11] Full-body somatic release (shaking, voice change) and re-inhabiting authentic self
• [24:44-28:54] Practice being seen, integrating new safety, and summing up insights
• [31:21-34:51] Closing reflection and self-inquiry for listeners

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Episode Arc & Takeaways

• External achievements or readiness quests can be protective mechanisms, but the real liberation comes from allowing and integrating the core feelings we fear.
• Healing requires not fixing, but feeling—especially through the body, not just the mind.
• Cultivating inner permission to be imperfect dismantles the fear of being seen and unlocks authentic self-expression.
• The episode’s climactic transformation: Erica steps into her coaching calling—not because she’s “ready” on paper, but because she feels safe inhabiting her own skin.

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Practical Questions for Listeners

1. What’s your external goal?
2. What emotion do you hope to feel when you achieve it?
3. What are you afraid to feel if you don’t?
4. Are you willing to feel that feeling in your body, in the present, for two minutes—without needing to change it?

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Final Encouragement

“Everything else is a reflection in your outer world, and it aligns much easier. … I just want to say thank you for being a living example of what it means to walk through the world with an open heart and mind.” – Alyssa [33:35]

This episode is a must-listen for anyone feeling stuck, paralyzed by perfectionism, or waiting for the “right” moment to step into a bigger version of themselves. Through Erica’s vulnerable journey, Alyssa demonstrates that the readiness you seek is found not outside, but within, when we choose to courageously bring acceptance to the parts of us that feel most unworthy or unseen.

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Transcript

[Erica]

I feel like I'm working through this fear of being seen.

[Coach]

Feel in your body where there might be a fear of doing it wrong.

[Erica]

Ooh. Right here. The clenching.

[Coach]

So let's breathe into that with permission and acceptance for this clenching to be here. Feeling the security by embracing the insecurity

[Alysso N. Briga]

that this energy doesn't need to be

[Coach]

different and gets to be allowed.

[Erica]

My whole body's shaking.

[Coach]

Let it shake. There's intelligence in that. I'll shake with you with a breath. Yeah, you're safe.

[Alysso N. Briga]

It's okay.

[Coach]

So good. You're so courageous. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Erica]

I'm sorry. I'm taking up so much time.

[Coach]

This gets to be part of it. This is what you're here for.

[Erica]

Yeah.

[Coach]

It is taking up space, feeling it fully, and then come back to allowing yourself to feel the emotion. What's present feel a lot lighter, a

[Erica]

lot more like myself. My voice is changing. It's like, whoa. It's a lot different now. So interesting. There's still a little bit of shakiness, but I feel like, oh, my God. I'm actually able to sit here and have a normal conversation.

[Coach]

You're more here now.

[Erica]

I feel a lot safer right now.

[Coach]

You look different.

[Erica]

I feel different. I feel like I'm being myself right now, which is freaking awesome.

[Alysso N. Briga]

What if the thing you're most afraid of isn't failing, but a fully being seen? So I did a coaching session with a woman and took a clip of it, put it on Instagram, and it went viral. And I think because a lot of you could resonate with Erica's struggle. So she had come into this session thinking that she would get a master's degree, so she felt more qualified, more intelligent and worthy. And in deeper exploration, we discovered that the real block wasn't about getting the master's degree. It was she didn't feel safe to take up space or be seen, because underneath that was this fear that she would be inadequate if she was seen. She would be seen as broken or defective in some way. And having worked as a licensed psychotherapist and Coach for over 20 years, I've seen this with thousands of clients. The same dynamic play out, and what can appear to be a confidence or a career clarity decision usually goes so much deeper. And oftentimes we want to trust the intelligence of the body so not just to work it at a mental level. And so in this episode, what I'm going to do is I'm going to share with you Erica's session, and I'm going to be pausing throughout So I share with you what are the interventions? I'm doing what I'm tracking so that you can apply it to your own life. Not only to feel more safe in your nervous system being fully and authentically expressed, but also having more clarity and tools in your own life. I hope that it serves you. Let's dive in.

[Coach]

Why don't you share what a goal is that you have?

[Erica]

I think I need to work around this belief that I have around, like needing like an academic degree, you know, in order to kind of back up my competency or feel like I'm smart enough, good enough, qualified enough. Yeah, yeah, that keeps coming up.

[Coach]

And so you're wanting to work with the goal of having a master's degree or some type of external validation academically. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Alysso N. Briga]

Okay.

[Coach]

So if you had this master's degree, what do you imagine you would feel? What are some of the emotions? Like, what would it give you?

[Erica]

I would feel secure. Feel. I would feel like I'd be able to get more respect or attract more respect from other people. I would feel intelligent.

[Alysso N. Briga]

So one of the first things that I'm listening for isn't just the goal itself. I'm listening for what's the goal? Under the goal, what have we been sold to and promised that the goal is going to make us feel? And so as you're listening to this, I want to invite you to think of what is a goal that you have. Maybe you want to lose weight, you want to make money, you want to have a relationship. There's nothing wrong with those goals. But. And for her, Erica, it's about having a degree.

[Coach]

So.

[Alysso N. Briga]

But what is it that the degree would allow you to feel or whatever this external goal is. So when you start to ask yourself, if I had this goal, then I would feel. Because those answers are often universal. Maybe you feel belonging, you feel loved, you feel accepted, you feel safe or secure. These are the external goals that mirror a deeper internal thing that we're going to feel if we got it, which is really important. And Erica happens to have a lot of self awareness, so we could move through this session pretty quickly. Instead of saying the surface storyline, we're going to the root of it, and I would encourage you to do the same. So what is it that you want and what do you think it'll make you feel? And the next you'll see how I start to work with her somatically in the body so that she can take her power back. Just instead of just getting the master's degree, it's about her feeling intelligent.

[Erica]

So.

[Alysso N. Briga]

So then I'm going to work with it somatically so that she's not outsourcing her intelligence to something in the future, but really starts to somatically connect with it here in the body right now.

[Coach]

So if you just take a moment to close your eyes and just tune into where that is in your body,

[Erica]

I'm feeling security and warmth around the heart.

[Coach]

And then there's some other emotion that's present in your body right now.

[Alysso N. Briga]

And it's bubbling up. It's been bubbling up.

[Erica]

Yeah, I'm feeling some like, trembling around the mouth area.

[Alysso N. Briga]

So notice that I'm watching her body more than even what she's saying, because the body is the unconscious, so it will reveal insights and wisdom that she might not even consciously know if we slow down to listen. And we're not judging it. And so notice I'm not thinking about the problem, but we're driving her attention more deeply into the present and direct experience that her body is revealing in the moment. And so if your mind goes into analyzing or understanding or trying to protect or minimize some kind of experience, just settle that back. Thank the mind, because anytime you judge something, you're stuck with it. Just thank the mind and then come back to what's actually arising in your body. So if at any time you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, angry, or even embarrassed, whatever the emotion is that's arising or even fear of being seen, slow it down to get curious instead of going into fixing. Just notice what am I feeling? Where do I feel that in my body? And then take a moment. Maybe you've got like tension in your throat, pressure in your chest, or a knot in your stomach. I find that the three core areas somatically are the throat, heart, and gut. So you can take your attention into those areas with curiosity instead of judgment and just get really present. And notice that transformation starts when you bring curiosity and compassion to whatever's arising. But I'm not leading the session, I'm letting Erica guide it. Because the intelligence of whatever arising arises in the moment is always so much wiser. And so it's about getting curious, bringing it into the body with curiosity and openness.

[Coach]

And I just want you as you presence it just to see if there's any images of you feeling this from the past.

[Erica]

Yeah, the memory that comes up is back from the time. I think. I think I was around five years old. My dad was very much absent, you know, emotionally and physically. So just feeling that coldness from that, you know, that sense of like, oh, I'm alone. You know, that sense of being alone, I think that's.

[Coach]

Yeah. And I noticed the tears come up when you say that. So let's just presence and give voice to that feeling.

[Erica]

I still feel that sense of isolation and like loneliness, you know, to this day, I don't think I ever fully presenced it.

[Coach]

Yeah, yeah. And so let's just presence together. This sense of loneliness and isolation, the cold. So just tuning into that memory, giving her space to express how she felt with this emotion.

[Alysso N. Briga]

I want to pause here to set us up for what you're about to witness, which is Erica courageously doing something that most of us were conditioned not to do, to give difficult emotions the chance to authentically and fully express and be witnessed. So most people don't go there. They don't feel loneliness, sadness, anger, even fear because they're thinking that they're going to be consumed by it. But there's a big difference between consciously presencing and allowing an emotion and being identified with it. It's a lot harder to allow an emotion if you think you are worthless or if you think that you are unworthy versus unworthiness as a sensation or as a memory or as an emot. Here it comes and it goes. It's not who you are. And oftentimes when we don't feel the things of our past, they get locked in our nervous system, and then we don't make conscious choices. We don't. It shows up dysregulated in our relationships or how we lead our teams, or how we reflect and support our clients and our work in the world or our children. And so actually having the courage to presence and feel the things that have been locked in our bodies from the past lets it come up when it's fully allowed so that it's released and integrated. And so you're going to watch Erica specifically. She has a memory that arises, and I follow that. So she gives voice to this younger memory. She's not identified and lost in it, but she is allowing that raw, vulnerable tenderness that was there that she couldn't feel then, now, so that it does change her present and her future. And I want to just name that. If you don't have a memory, don't try to force one on yourself as you're guiding yourself through this.

[Coach]

And.

[Alysso N. Briga]

Or if you're, you know, wanting to try this on at your. On your own, you can also work with it somatically. And I'm going to demonstrate a different way to work with it somatically. So if A memory doesn't arrive, you don't need to make one up. And that's the power of somatic work. You can work with the present moment sensations. And so right now I'll share with you how to work with it emotionally. And in a moment, I will do a little bit more of the somatic work. But you have to fully allow the emotion to come up and out and then you meet it with safety, security and support. That's what actually helps it transform and start to change your life now. And so I would recommend that you practice with lighter emotions, not the big heavy hitters. If you have big t trauma or really overwhelming feelings, you don't have to do this work alone. And I would recommend that you do work with a trained therapist or practitioner, like a coach, somebody that's trauma informed to help hold that space with you. So let's see what it looks like when somebody has the courage like Erica, to give those emotions raw, authentic expression and what becomes possible in her life and in her decisions as a result.

[Erica]

I feel misunderstood. I feel like no one's truly there for me. I feel so alone. I feel insecure and unsafe.

[Coach]

And when you check in Erica with the emotion, see if the emotion passed or see if there's still some part that wants to be present, if it could just fully express, unedited, just to be witnessed and allowed,

[Erica]

I feel unsafe. I feel fundamentally unsafe in this world. And I feel so small and fragile and lost.

[Alysso N. Briga]

Yeah.

[Coach]

And now I just want to invite you to allow security, to allow safety to speak directly to that part of

[Alysso N. Briga]

you, to that memory,

[Coach]

letting it know exactly what it needed to hear. Then what would it say to insecurity?

[Alysso N. Briga]

What would security say to insecurity?

[Erica]

You're never alone. And although you feel alone, it's just a sensation that it will pass. And I'm here for you. I'm here to hold you.

[Coach]

So be there in that memory that arose and hold her. Take this desired feeling of safety, of security, and hold her, wrap her in that.

[Erica]

I almost want to hold myself, you know, I just.

[Coach]

Yeah. And I, I, I welcome you. Just a hold, just a wrap. Feel that? So hold just with your arms around yourself, holding her. Trust that. And just notice what it feels like to be in that memory, in that experience, but with the desired feeling of safety and security.

[Alysso N. Briga]

Nothing external change.

[Coach]

Just being there with her, breathing in and see if there's any other words

[Alysso N. Briga]

that she needs to hear. She might just need a hug.

[Erica]

I want to tell her that she's actually really confident as she is.

[Coach]

And so tell her directly as you're. Tell her directly inside, you're.

[Erica]

You're so confident and authentic. And just because that's all been distorted by conditioning doesn't mean that you can't find your way back to that. Yeah, I'm feeling it past now, huh?

[Coach]

Letting this energy, know that it can

[Alysso N. Briga]

come to you anytime it wants, it

[Coach]

doesn't need to be secure, and that you've got it, you've got space for it.

[Alysso N. Briga]

So this is what I call my certification program, the paradox of transformation. And it's the realization that the very thing that you've been avoiding when fully faced and felt, it opens you to the thing that you deeply desire in your life. Like, who knew the last place you would be willing to look opened you to the thing you really want. So, for example, if you feel insecurity when fully allowed and met, ironically, on the other side of that is a deeper security that doesn't come and go, that's not dependent on circumstance. And so this is really powerful work, and I hope you're going to apply this to your own life. And if you're watching this, excited, wanting to deeply and profoundly change your life, and feeling like I would love to feel on purpose, sharing this work with others and helping them change their life, I want you to know that this is literally a session from my certification program. This is just one of the weekly calls. And I took it out because I want it to be of service to you. But if you're like, I want this for my life. I want to serve and support other people with it, just go to alysannobriga.com apply to learn more about that program and apply there. But with Erica, it's really important to get that she didn't get rid of insecurity. Actually, it transformed because she welcomed it. It's the game of opposites. And so an important foundation to my methodology is that we come with acceptance. Acceptance for all the thoughts, all the feelings, all the sensations. And it's not an acceptance that has an agenda. It's not like I'm going to accept you so that I get rid of you. Because your ego starts getting really wise to transformational tools and using it with an agenda. It's a deeper acceptance, a genuine acceptance that says, you're welcome exactly as you are, there's space for you and you can feel the difference. One is conditional and the other is unconditional. And so you start to embody this work and change your life and realize that emotions don't want to Be fixed. They want to be felt. Ironically, that's all they were looking for. And so as we stop avoiding and managing our life so that we don't feel certain ways, and we stretch the capacity to be with the range of our emotions, emotions, we experience way more vitality because we're not managing all these coping strategies, and we have a lot more freedom. And so watch what happens next. Just by being in the presence and the safety of this space, a pattern that seemed unrelated starts naturally loosening on its own.

[Erica]

I feel like I'm simultaneously working through this fear of being seen by a lot of people. And. And that's kind of passing a little bit too. You know, that whole, like, the shakiness and the. Oh, like, can I be myself? How to be myself? Yes.

[Coach]

Is it safe for you to be yourself?

[Erica]

It is so safe. Like, you're so lovely just as you are, and you don't have to. You don't have to change anything about yourself. And that's a huge misunderstanding and a lie.

[Coach]

Is it okay for her to forget sometimes or get scared of being seen?

[Erica]

Yes, it. Yeah. Oh, there are some resistance coming up to that.

[Coach]

That's okay. Let's stay inward. Let's stay inward. Okay. So noticing with the breath to any. Any contraction that was in your body, just with the breath opening, feeling the security by embracing the insecurity and just noticing, do you feel more present, more

[Alysso N. Briga]

you, or do you.

[Coach]

Are you still with your younger, earlier memory? Does she need anything?

[Erica]

Yeah.

[Coach]

What does she need to feel? What does she need to know?

[Erica]

I think she needs to hear that. She's allowed to be dumb.

[Alysso N. Briga]

Yeah.

[Erica]

I'm allowed to ask stupid questions. Well, stupid. You know, I'm allowed to ask any question that I want, and it doesn't have to sound academic or smart or I'm allowed to make mistakes grammatically. You know, English is not like my first language anyway, so I'm allowed to make mistakes.

[Coach]

Good.

[Erica]

Yeah.

[Coach]

That's it.

[Alysso N. Briga]

So this is where the deeper protection mechanism gets revealed. Erica says that she's simultaneously working through this fear being seen. Now, I know fear of being seen isn't the actual root problem. That's the protective mechanism. And so I want you to ask yourself if you do have a fear of being seen, it's like, what do I fear? Then people would see of me. How would they judge me?

[Coach]

Right.

[Alysso N. Briga]

Fear being seen is really about the fear of being judged and that we feel inadequate in some way. I'll unpack more about it at the end. So when Erica said, I'm allowed to be dumb. I had already known that we had done some work to feel safe in her authentic expression. That's why it came out as permission rather than a judgment or a fear. And so giving yourself permission to, like, have a corrective experience is where I was going to go next. But just to break this down, fear being seen is because there's something we're afraid people are going to think of us, which is what we think of ourselves, and we have a protection mechanism to hide so that then people don't think of us or to have a goal. Like for Erica, it was about getting a master's degree. So she felt intelligent so that then she didn't feel dumb. And so for you, I want you to thinking about, how does this apply to your own life? What's the goal you want, and what is the thing you're trying to avoid feeling as a result of it? Because the goals are fine. You can get a master's degree, you can go for your goal, but the goal's never going to give you the thing that you deeply want. Like for Erica, if she got the master's degree, she was still going to be feeling dumb at times because the perception of herself is where the root problem and that perception gets projected onto everything else. And so these protective strategies, there's nothing wrong with them. Maybe the fear of being seen as big for you, maybe it's the control, perfectionism, people pleasing, hiding, nothing's wrong with that. But we want to understand what is it protecting? What's the deeper thing underneath? And can you give yourself space to really embrace it, to allow it and to get free from it. So let's see what happens next.

[Coach]

Let's just play with it emotionally and somatically. Let's weave this in. So she doesn't need to pretend, she doesn't need to perform.

[Alysso N. Briga]

She doesn't need to be any different than the way she is.

[Coach]

And so feel in your body where there might be a fear of doing it wrong, of appearing dumb.

[Erica]

Right here, the clenching.

[Coach]

And so let's breathe into that with permission and acceptance for this clenching to be here, that this energy doesn't need to be different and gets to be allowed.

[Erica]

Now my whole body's shaking.

[Coach]

Let it shake. There's an intelligence in that. That's good.

[Erica]

Okay, I'm just gonna let it shake.

[Coach]

Good. Let it shake. I'll shake with you with a breath. Yeah, you're safe.

[Alysso N. Briga]

Letting it shake.

[Coach]

It knows. Yeah, you're safe. It's okay. Erica, so good. You're so courageous. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Alysso N. Briga]

So good.

[Coach]

So courageous.

[Alysso N. Briga]

Wow.

[Erica]

I'm sorry. I'm taking up so much time.

[Coach]

This gets to be part of it. Erica, this is it. This is what you're here for.

[Erica]

Yeah, yeah, it is.

[Coach]

This is it. Taking up space, feeling it fully. Let that be here and then come back to allowing yourself to feel the emotion.

[Erica]

I feel almost like this vomiting sensation coming up, you know, from that back area.

[Coach]

It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And allow that to be here.

[Erica]

Yeah. This is deep cellular stuff. Yeah.

[Coach]

And so breathing in, Checking in with your back, your jaw, what's present.

[Erica]

I feel a lot lighter, a lot more like myself. Even my voice is changing. It's like, whoa. It's a lot deeper now. So interesting. There's still a little bit of shakiness, but I feel like, oh, my God. I'm actually able to sit here and have a normal conversation.

[Coach]

You're more here now. Yeah, yeah.

[Erica]

Wow. Like, I'm being myself and I'm being seen by a lot of people. I'm okay. Okay.

[Alysso N. Briga]

So as you can see, I'm working with her in a more somatic way, using my methodology, which is really allowing the shaking, allow the apology, allow the fear of taking up space. All of it gets to be here. And I want to normalize the shaking. And I shake with her so she knows she doesn't have to do it alone. And also just to encourage the natural intelligence of what the body wants to do. When the body shakes, that's just it starting to release and integrate into the nervous system. So just trust it. The deeper thing that I want you to get from this is that it's not about never feeling insecure again. It's about when insecurity comes up or whatever the feeling is. Can I no longer reject myself or try to perform or abandon myself in the process? Can I stay present and connected to myself while different feelings or sensations come up? That's my methodology. And. And that's why acceptance is so much deeper than, say, something like confidence, because confidence comes and goes. But there's a deeper acceptance that's available that offers us a greater level of freedom and peace. If we presence and accept the thoughts, the feelings, the sensations. That's what parts the clouds. To feel this deeper acceptance that doesn't come and go. And so she starts to notice that she feels lighter. Her voice even changes. And something to note about people pleasing that pattern. Oftentimes our voice gets higher. So she was surprised when she was no longer trying to perform, that her authentic voice was a lot deeper and so that's just a little cue for you to discover for yourself. And the beautiful thing about this session is that when people misunderstand nervous system regulation work, they think the goal is that they should feel calm all the time.

[Coach]

It's not.

[Alysso N. Briga]

The real work of nervous system regulation work is to stretch the capacity to be with the range of your human experience and staying present and resourced through it. So instead of trying to get rid of something, it's stretching your capacity. That's where greater resiliency lies. And so that's the intention of what we're doing here. Even if an activation is here, it doesn't mean anything about her. And she's allowing her nervous system to integrate it. And so now, instead of just talking about this fear being seen, I want to give her a corrective experience to ground and integrate what she didn't get before, which is to stay connected with herself while actually being seen in community, feeling safe within herself. So watch what happens next.

[Coach]

Anchor in that. Feel your center. Yeah. Feel yourself.

[Alysso N. Briga]

Feel the safety, the security of being

[Coach]

yourself and in this moment. But if you feel comfortable, I would love to move to gallery view and to let yourself be seen in this community from this place, from this safety.

[Erica]

I would love that. I would love that.

[Coach]

Okay, so now be in your body, be in yourself. It's okay. And just like, yeah, good breath. And remember, we got here through allowing the thing you are avoiding, the emotion you are avoiding. So if any of the emotion that comes back up when as you're meeting this edge of being seen, just breathe into it.

[Erica]

There's more shakiness.

[Coach]

And let it shake. Let it shake and I'll shake it with you. The body is intelligent and knows exactly what to do.

[Alysso N. Briga]

Just breathe and allow it.

[Coach]

We can all shake, actually.

[Alysso N. Briga]

Let's all shake together.

[Coach]

Trust the body.

[Erica]

Let's all do that together.

[Coach]

Just feel into your body. What do you notice?

[Erica]

I feel a lot safer right now. I feel different. I feel like I'm being myself right now, which is freaking awesome.

[Alysso N. Briga]

If you're wanting to apply this in your own life, you can see the power of updating old programming to what's actually true. For Erica, it was about really discovering that she was safe when she was connected to herself more than trying to manage how she was perceived by others. And so, for your own life, I want you to be thinking about what's one small, intelligent step that you can take in the direction of your heart and your dreams, maybe that you've avoided and held back out of fear so that you can bite size it. You don't want to overwhelm your whole system. It could be speaking up in a meeting or in a relationship, sharing your authentic truth. It could even be taking the next step before you think you're ready. Think about what it is for you. And the key really about this is not overwhelming your system so that you can gradually start to integrate and move at the pace of your own nervous system, so that you feel connected to your body. You're feeling safe. And so let's see what happens when we go back to that original goal. Now that the protection mechanism is no longer needed because she is already feeling safe, let's see what clarity arises from here.

[Coach]

There's more radiance. There's a shift in your face. I. I know. I. I love that you noticed the tone of your voice dropped. Let me just ground this one. So go ahead and close your eyes. And I want you just to imagine yourself taking action on your goal, whether that's leaving the master's program, which is what I was hearing. Imagine yourself completing that path while embodying your authenticity, your security, your safety, your knowing of your intelligence independent of anything else. Is that available for you? Can you see that?

[Erica]

Yeah, it's. It's the right choice. Yeah. To pursue the. What I love, which is coaching. You know, I. I want to go ahead and get started with that. Yeah. I really do.

[Coach]

I'm just smiling so big because, like, it's just so evident, the shift that happened on a cellular level. Like, there's a radiance that is so available and it's so beautiful to see.

[Erica]

And I'm just.

[Coach]

It's very, very clear. And what was an insight you got from this so you can ground it for yourself?

[Erica]

Fully allowing it and not shying away from letting other people see that process. You know, like, again, it kind of weaves into the whole theme of, like, being seen and witnessed by other people while you kind of go through the process. But that was really helpful and. Yeah. And just kind of realizing that I'm not. I'm not disliked. I think that that was another thing. It's like, if I'm being my true, authentic self, then I'll be too much for other people. That's the biggest one I think.

[Coach]

Yeah. Yeah. So aware of is that nothing shifted with us. It was a shift in you, which gave yourself permission to be dumb, to not be smart, which you started to allow that feeling. And as you did, you felt authentic. You felt yourself. You gave yourself permission.

[Erica]

That was actually. Yeah, that's. That's good that you mentioned that, because, actually, I think the key thing was that I allowed the inner child to come up and be like, okay, I'm just gonna. I'm gonna shake now, you know, and I'm gonna just let it express itself in whatever shape, kind of. Yeah. And that was really healing. That was, like, cathartic for me.

[Alysso N. Briga]

And I want to mirror and acknowledge

[Coach]

that part of you, the wisdom that you. That you're connected to, because there are layers to it. And you're like, oh, I can sense not wanting to appear dumb. And so then presencing that in your jaw and in your face, to me was the unlock. And then as you unlocked and welcomed it, you started giving yourself permission just to start shaking and to lean into that, even to be seen in the.

[Erica]

In the group.

[Coach]

So I'm sharing this because you were in the experience, and I want to help. Just mirror and. As a way to ground moving forward your intelligence, your wisdom, the connection you already have, because it's so powerful and evident that this gets to guide your life and your career.

[Erica]

Thank you, Elissa.

[Alysso N. Briga]

So I want to leave you with a deeper arc of what just happened in this session so you can apply it in your own life. So Erica came in with the goal of getting a master's degree, thinking it was going to make her feel secure and intelligent. But as we started exploring that external goal, we could see it was being driven by the fear of being seen, because she thought if she was seen, then she would be exposed in feeling dumb and inadequate in some way. And the fear of being seen is a really common topic. So I have a few different podcast episodes if you want to dive deeper. But just to give you a few nuggets, one is that you're not really afraid if that you resonate with this. You're not really afraid of what people think of you. You're afraid of what you think of you. And so part of this work is to really know that fear being seen as just a protection mechanism because there's some insecurity or inadequacy that's underneath. And if we think that about ourselves, we project it out onto other people. And so we have the power, not in other people, not in the situation, so we can change it inside of ourselves. And if you would like to do that, I would invite you to ask a question, which is, what do I

[Coach]

fear people would think of me?

[Alysso N. Briga]

And as you get clear about that, then you could start going to the root inside of you to start opening to whatever that feeling is, as a sensation in your body and embrace it. So it somatically starts, starts to integrate, and then you don't have to project it on that fear onto different people and situations moving forward. And the question I would leave you with is if you have this fear of being seen, does playing small, because people will play small, they'll hide. But does playing small actually keep you safe? No. And so then it gives you more agency and willingness to test something out so that you're not protecting yourself from avoiding these things. You're really stretching the capacity to feel the thing that you've been afraid of, of, and it no longer has power over you. And just like with Erica, the breakthrough didn't come with being more intelligent. It came from embracing and allowing the feeling that she had been avoiding. And so I just want you to get that. You do the inner work and then the actions, the decisions. You have a lot more clarity about what's true for you, so that you're taking intelligent, aligned action, not living out of these coping strategies and protective mechanisms. There's nothing wrong with them. Like, it's totally fine to get a master's degree, but if you're trying to prove your worth, no external goal or no degree is going to make you feel that way. That's why a lot of the time when I work with people in my. I have a higher education program, we do this work so that you're no longer outsourcing your worth. You're embodying it from the inside out. And so I want to leave you with four questions. This can be a map to support you in breaking free. That kind of brings this whole session together. So the first question is, what's your external goal? Then I want you to identify what is the promise emotionally that you would feel like if I got this goal, then I would feel. Third, I would ask you, if you didn't get this goal, what are you afraid you would feel? And then fourth, are you willing to feel that feeling as a sensation, not a story, even if it's just for two minutes? Because that's where your freedom lies. Healing isn't about becoming someone new. Healing is about creating enough safety within your nervous system so that all parts of yourself that were hiding get to be allowed and integrated. So, for example, if you feel like you don't belong, let that feeling of not belonging belong to you. And as you integrate it, you not only feel better, but you choose differently in your life. Everything else is a reflection in your outer world, and it aligns much easier. And again, this is a session that I did in my certification program. This is just one of the calls. I do two every week so that I'm bringing up students, demonstrating the tools, helping you feel more confident in navigating somatic work. This is what I call my Paradox of Transformation tool so that you can deeply and profoundly change your life, feel confident about serving your clients and changing their life, and then start or scale a business. And so if you want to learn more about feeling alive and on purpose working from anywhere in the world doing this work, join our community. Go to Alysonobriga.com apply and you can learn more there. But I hope that this has served you and until I see you on the next one, be well. Thank you so much for doing this work that changes the world. Starting with yourself. It truly does make a difference. And if this podcast has supported you, one of the most impactful ways to help us reach more people is to simply press the follow button. It really does help us grow and we are so grateful. I just want to say thank you for being a living example of what it means to walk through the world with an open heart and mind.

[Erica]

Sam.