Healing + Human Potential with Alyssa Nobriga
Episode: “Your Family's Suppressed Trauma Is Affecting You + How to Heal it For Good”
Guest: Mark Wolynn, author of It Didn't Start with You
Date: February 24, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode explores how personal struggles—like anxiety, depression, or challenging patterns in relationships—may originate in the unhealed and often unspoken traumas of previous generations. Psychotherapist and trauma expert Mark Wolynn joins host Alyssa Nobriga to unpack the science and lived experience of inherited family trauma and offers practical guidance on how to recognize and shift these dynamics for lasting healing. The conversation blends breakthroughs from epigenetics with practical therapeutic tools, emphasizing compassion, awareness, and the power of generational healing.

Key Topics & Insights

What is Inherited Family Trauma?

• Trauma Transmission: Traumatic experiences can create survival responses that get passed down, not just emotionally but biologically, through changes like DNA methylation. (00:00–08:00)

  • Quote:

    "The problem is we are inheriting that skill set and there's no war. We're rarely making the link that our anxiety, hypervigilance, depression is connected to our parents and our grandparents. We just think we're wired this way."
    — Mark Wolynn (00:00)

• Epigenetics in Action: Traumatic events leave "chemical tags" on our DNA, altering how genes express, and creating stress responses in future generations—even if the trauma is never openly discussed.

  • Quote:

    "When a trauma happens, it changes us, Alyssa. It literally causes a chemical change in our DNA, and this changes how our genes function."
    — Mark Wolynn (04:40)

Scientific Studies that Illustrate Inherited Trauma

• Animal Studies: The cherry blossom-scent and electric shock study with mice demonstrated that acquired fears can be inherited by subsequent generations, even those never exposed to the original trauma. (08:36–12:55)

  • Quote:

    "The little mice pups become jumpy and jittery just by smelling the scent without getting shocked. So they've inherited the stress response of being jumpy and jittery without directly having experienced the trauma of being shocked."
    — Mark Wolynn (08:36)

• Human Studies: Recent research—like studies on the descendants of Syrian women exposed to war—shows epigenetic marks (like DNA methylation) tied to trauma run through three generations. (08:36–12:55)

The Central Role of Attachment

• Our earliest relationships, especially with our mothers, set deep internal patterns. Generational trauma often disrupts “mothering and fathering,” affecting our ability to securely attach and thrive. (13:07–13:32)
  • Quote:

    "I spend probably 85% of my time working with attachment when I'm working one on one."
    — Mark Wolynn (13:07)

The Link Between Parental Relationships and Physical Health

• The Harvard Mastery of Stress Study: Tracked students over 35 years and found significantly higher rates of serious illness among those with strained relationships with their mothers.
  • Quote:

    "Healing with your parents is not just a good idea. Remaining broken with them could cost us our lives."
    — Mark Wolynn (15:11)

What If You’re Estranged from Your Parents?

• Healing can still happen “inwardly” by working with imagery, using photographs, and offering self-compassion practices to repair attachment on a subconscious level. (17:46–22:53)
  • Memorable exercise:

    "I give people this practice of putting a photo of their mum over their left shoulder or their left nightstand...look at the photo. 'Mom, please hold me when I'm sleeping so I can learn to trust your love...'"
    — Mark Wolynn (17:46)

Real-Life Stories: Inherited Trauma Revealed

• Case Study: Cutting as Inherited Trauma (23:18–31:00)

  • Sarah, a young client, cut herself deeply, echoing the manner in which her grandfather died (bleeding to death in a car accident caused by her grandmother). The pattern resolved when the inherited roots were acknowledged in therapy.
    • Quote:

      "It's almost as if the cutting was leading us to a family story that needed to be told for everyone's healing."
      — Mark Wolynn (23:18)

• Case Study: Psychosomatic Burning (31:37–39:23)

  • A 16-year-old with unexplained burning sensations began experiencing symptoms at the same age his father lived through a tragic house fire—another example of trauma seeking resolution down the lineage.

How to Recognize If You’re Carrying Inherited Trauma

• Telltale Signs (31:37–41:03)

  • Emotional patterns and fears that don’t logically “fit” your life.
  • Physical symptoms with no clear root.
  • Unusual triggers around certain ages, milestones, or life transitions (e.g., pregnancy, marriage).
  • Repeated “core sentences” or inner beliefs (“I don’t deserve to live,” “I will be alone”) that are strikingly out of proportion.
  • Quote:

    "If there's anything that doesn't make sense in the context of your life...really be conscious...look at what was going on right before this behavior..."
    — Mark Wolynn (41:03)

• Genealogy Work as a Tool: Draw a family tree, noting major events and unspoken losses, to spot patterns and heal intergenerational pain.

The Core Sentence: Differentiating Attachment from Inherited Trauma

• Exercise (42:52–47:49)
  • Identify your deepest fear (“If my life went horribly wrong, my worst fear is…”), repeat for two more layers, and note if the answer points toward an unmet childhood need (attachment) or a generational weight (inherited trauma).
  • Examples:
    • “I’ll be abandoned / I won’t matter” = Attachment
    • “I’ll hurt someone / I don’t deserve to live” = Inherited

Why Does Trauma Persist and Repeat?

• When traumas are suppressed, ignored, or those who cause or experience them are “excluded,” the wound magnifies down the line. Open dialogue and inclusion prevent repetition. (48:14–50:00)
  • Quote:

    "Whatever we push away tends to...magnify."
    — Mark Wolynn (48:14)

How Can Parents Help Break the Cycle?

• Talk about family traumas openly but age-appropriately.
• Include everyone in family narratives, even if there’s conflict or estrangement.
• Support children in feeling and naming their emotions (“Thank you for showing Mommy where you feel scared. Mommy's got you.”)
• Give yourself grace; healing is ongoing, not perfect. (50:00–53:39)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• "We are rarely making the link that our anxiety, hypervigilance, depression is connected to our parents and our grandparents. We just think we're wired this way." — Mark Wolynn (00:00)
• "The healing is happening. The same regions of the brain activate when we visualize as though it's happening in real time." — Mark Wolynn (22:53)
• "Everything's looking to be met with presence. Everything's looking to be healed, Everything's looking to be met with love, therefore transformed." — Alyssa Nobriga (39:23)
• "It's almost as if the cutting was leading us to a family story that needed to be told for everyone's healing." — Mark Wolynn (23:18)
• "Be a detective of our language, of our behaviors, Just, just what you were saying, be so mindfully aware." — Mark Wolynn (41:03)

Important Timestamps

• Inheritance of stress response: 00:00–02:06
• Case Study (Lawyer feeling “trapped”): 02:06–04:27
• Epigenetic science explained: 04:40–08:36
• Mice study & Human evidence: 08:36–12:55
• Harvard Stress Study: 15:11–16:48
• Estranged parent healing practice: 17:46–22:53
• Case Study (Cutting; Sarah’s story): 23:18–31:00
• Case Study (Burning; unresolved tragedy): 31:37–39:23
• Genealogy & “signs”: 39:23–41:03
• Core Sentence Exercise: 42:52–47:49
• Why trauma persists/repeats: 48:14–50:00
• Parent strategies: 50:00–52:36
• Attachments form in pregnancy/early years: 53:39–55:37

Final Thoughts & Resources

• Families can break cycles of inherited pain by speaking about the unresolved past, honoring every member, and integrating healing tools—whether or not parents/ancestors are physically present.
• The revised edition of It Didn’t Start With You (and the new workbook) provides further tools, questions, and exercises for those who want to go deeper.

For Further Learning:

• It Didn’t Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle – Mark Wolynn (2024 Revised Edition)
• AlyssaNobriga.com