If you've been saying "I'm trying to recover" for months or years, this episode will completely change how you approach your healing journey.

Today we're diving into the science behind why the phrase "I'm trying" is literally programming your brain for partial commitment—and why that guarantees you'l stay stuck. This isn't about willpower or motivation; it's about understanding how your language creates neural pathways that either support or sabotage your recovery.

In this game-changing episode, you'll discover:

The neuroscience behind why "trying" keeps you in limbo
How decision defaulting protects you from commitment (and healing)
Why your undernourished brain struggles with decisive action
The trauma response component that makes decisions feel dangerous
Two powerful exercises to shift from trying to deciding
Real client stories of transformation through decisive language

Warning: This episode will make you uncomfortable with your own excuses—and that's exactly the point.

THE DECISION DEFAULTING TRAP

Decision defaulting: When you avoid making definitive choices because not deciding feels safer than deciding "wrong."

Sound familiar?

"I'm trying to eat more"
"I'm trying to stop restricting"
"I'm trying to get better"
"I'm thinking about getting help"

Every time you say "I'm trying," you're leaving yourself an escape route. You're keeping one foot in and one foot out, protecting yourself from the vulnerability of full commitment.

The raw truth: Trying is just a socially acceptable way of avoiding responsibility for your choices.

THE NEUROSCIENCE OF "TRYING"

Dr. Carol Dweck's research shows: The words we use create neural pathways that either support or sabotage our goals. When we use tentative language like "trying," we're literally programming our brains for partial commitment.

What your brain hears:

"I'm trying to eat breakfast" = "I'm not really committed to eating breakfast"
"I'm trying to stop restricting" = "I'm keeping my options open to restrict if things get uncomfortable"

From a neurological standpoint: Definitive decisions require activation of the prefrontal cortex (executive functioning). But when you're undernourished or in chronic stress from disordered eating, this brain region is compromised.

Decision defaulting feels easier because it requires less energy.

THE TRAUMA RESPONSE COMPONENT

Many people with eating disorders have histories of choices being criticized, controlled, or dismissed.

Decision defaulting becomes a protective mechanism: If you never fully commit to a choice, no one can tell you your choice was wrong.

Dr. Kristin Neff's research on self-compassion shows: People who struggle with decision-making often have internalized critical voices that make them afraid of imperfection.

The eating disorder amplifies this by convincing you every decision must be perfect—so it's safer to not decide at all.

CLIENT STORY: BRITTANY'S BREAKTHROUGH

Brittany came to coaching after 3 years of "trying to recover." She'd been in therapy multiple times, bought every book, started and stopped countless times.

When asked what she wanted from coaching: "I want to try to finally get better."

The intervention: "Brittany, you've been trying for three years. How's that working for you?"

The realization: All her trying had actually kept her trying.

The shift: From "I'm trying to recover" to "I'm deciding to use my resources and trust the path."

The results: Within 6 months—weight restoration, rebuilt relationships, career changes she'd put on hold.

THE POWER OF IMPLEMENTATION INTENTION

Research by Dr. Peter Gollwitzer shows: People who use implementation intentions (decisive language) are 2-3 times more likely to follow through than those who rely on general intentions.

Instead of leaving actions up to willpower, you're pre-committing to specific choices.

THE LANGUAGE SHIFTS:

OLD: "I'm trying to eat regular meals"
NEW: "I'm deciding to eat breakfast tomorrow, lunch at noon, dinner in the evening—regardless of how I feel"

OLD: "I'm trying to exercise less"
NEW: "I'm deciding to take two complete rest days this week and limit exercise by 30 minutes"

OLD: "I'm thinking about getting help"
NEW: "I'm deciding to talk to three support professionals this week"

WHY YOUR EATING DISORDER LOVES "TRYING"

Your eating disorder wants you to keep trying. It wants you in the wishy-washy space where you're sort of committed but not really.

As long as you're trying, you're not a real threat to its control.

When you start deciding—making firm commitments and following through regardless of feelings—that's when your eating disorder panics.

That's when recovery becomes inevitable.

THE ILLUSION OF CONTROL

Decision defaulting gives you an illusion of control:

You think you're keeping options open
You think you're staying flexible
You think you're being logical

What you're actually doing: Giving your power away to circumstances, other people, or the eating disorder voice.

Real control comes from making conscious choices and taking responsibility for outcomes.

CLIENT STORY: MARIA'S THERAPIST SEARCH

Maria spent years researching therapists but never booked appoi...