Birds-Aristophanes

Summary

King Arthur Podcast

Host: Joseph Comyns Carr
Episode: Birds – Aristophanes
Date: August 8, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode is a dramatic reading of The Birds by Aristophanes (translated by Benjamin Hall Kennedy), a classic Greek comedy which explores the creation of an avian utopia and a satirical rebellion against the gods. The story weaves together themes of escapism, political satire, the folly of human ambition, and power struggles between mortals, birds, and deities. The performance features a full cast voicing ancient characters with energy, sharp wit, and a playful tone, inviting listeners into a whimsical world where birds ascend to godhood and the sky becomes the site for a new "Cloud Cuckoo Land."

While this is technically the King Arthur podcast, the episode diverts from Arthurian legend to present a lively, classic adaptation—emphasizing timeless drama and trickster wisdom that resonates with the themes of chivalry and social commentary.

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Main Characters

• Pythateris (voiced primarily by Chris Pyle, with alternates): A clever Athenian who initiates the plan to build a city in the sky among the birds.
• Euelpides: Pythateris's companion, seeking a better life away from Athens.
• Hoopoe (Tereus): A former man turned into a bird, who guides the Athenians in the avian world.
• Chorus of Birds: Representing various bird species, responding collectively with skepticism, curiosity, and excitement.
• Numerous minor roles: Priests, inspectors, poets, messengers, mythic gods (Prometheus, Poseidon, Heracles), and comic interlopers.

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Key Discussion Points & Dramatic Highlights

1. Prologue and Introduction of the Human Seekers

(01:30 – 03:28)

• In a wild, craggy landscape, Pythateris and Euelpides wander, tired and lost, after following dubious birds they purchased from a poulterer.
• They seek Tereus, transformed into the Hoopoe, to help them escape human cares and find a new place to live.

“That I, poor wretch, believing in a crow, more than a thousand furlongs round should go.”
— Pythateris [04:03]

2. Philosophy of Escapism and Satire of Athenian Society

(04:25 – 06:39)

• The two mortals bemoan city life and Athenian litigiousness as motivators for their departure.
• Seek a peaceful city "soft as a blanket" to live free from legal wranglings and social pressure.

“Citizens in the midst of citizens, with none to scare us from our fatherland flew out as fast as both our feet could waft us.”
— Euelpides [05:24]

3. Meeting the Hoopoe and Planning the Bird Utopia

(07:07 – 15:23)

• Hoopoe proposes the founding of a bird city, guided by the Athenians' cunning.
• The legendary "Cloud Cuckoo Land" is brainstormed as a site between gods and men, from which the birds could control both.

“Just as if we want to visit Delphi, we ask Boeotians for a passage through. Even so, whene’er men sacrifice to gods, unless the gods agree to pay you tribute, you’ll not let savoury meat steams pass your way.”
— Pythateris [15:38]

4. Summoning the Birds and Bird Chorus Response

(18:06 – 23:41)

• Hoopoe leads a magical chant to summon birds from all species; an exuberant parade of avian characters assembles, described with playful wit.
• The birds initially treat the humans as enemies, convene a warlike assembly, but Hoopoe persuades them to listen.

“He predicts for you and me some immense felicitee… All that’s here and all that’s hither, all that’s there and all that’s thither.”
— Hoopoe [32:43]

5. The Debate: Why Birds Should Rule and Founding the New City

(36:45 – 50:03)

• Pythateris argues birds are the rightful rulers of the cosmos, predating even the gods.
• The city, Cloud Cuckoo Land (Cloud Cuckoo Burrow), is established; birds take on godhood, build their city, and set new laws.

“First then I teach that of the birds one city you shall found, and next that all this atmosphere that circles you around... be walled about by you.”
— Pythateris [44:39]

6. Ritual, Satire, and Interlopers from Human Society

(70:08 – 85:36)

• Sacrifices for the new gods parody traditional religious rites.
• Interlopers (poet, soothsayer, inspector) come to exploit or regulate the new society, each dismissed or ridiculed.

“A plague on all this nonsense. Cease to bawl. Ho ho. What victim’s this to which you call ospreys and vultures dolt? A single kite, d’ ye see, could swoop and carry off this mite?”
— Pythateris [73:46]

7. City Built, Conflict with the Olympian Gods

(91:19 – 99:52)

• Bird labor completes the city—an impressive collective effort detailed with comic logistics.
• The Olympians are outraged. Iris is confronted as she tries to pass through, symbolizing the birds' new authority.

“Are you then gods?”
— Pythateris [98:36]
“What other gods exist?”
— Inspector (Iris) [98:38]

8. Satirical Social Commentary: Birdmania and Human Transformation

(100:41 – 112:59)

• A messenger reports that humans on earth now emulate birds, taking avian names and habits in comical fashion.
• Various human petitioners (parricides, songwriters, informers) seek wings and admittance, each presenting hilarious and pointed requests, leading to more clever rebuffs from the birds.

“What laws do you mean? For birds have many laws, all chiefly that it's held a law of honour in birds to strangle and to peck their fathers.”
— Pythateris [105:33]

9. Arrival of the Gods and Negotiation for Peace

(115:03 – 126:28)

• Prometheus arrives, warning Pythateris that the gods are desperate as sacrifices have ceased.
• An embassy led by Poseidon, Heracles, and a barbarian god arrives to negotiate. Pythateris shrewdly demands that the birds receive supreme power and that he marry "Royalty" (Basileia).

"Zeus is ruined. Can you date his ruin from your first atmospheric settlement. No man from that time offers anything to gods."
— Prometheus [116:21]

10. Comic Legal Arguments and Restoration of Bird Rule

(124:21 – 126:28)

• Pythateris manipulates both divine and legal logic to secure his demands, cleverly convincing Heracles he has no rights of inheritance—thus swinging the negotiation.

“By law you’re illegitimate... for since you’re both agreed, I’ll say no more.”
— Pythateris [125:12] / Poseidon [126:21]

11. Triumphal Wedding and Conclusion

(127:36 – 131:18)

• Pythateris weds Basileia, receives the ultimate prize, and ascends in a triumphant, musical procession.
• The Chorus offers celebratory songs for the new king and the conquest of Olympus, closing the episode on a joyful, carnivalesque note.

"O bliss. O bliss. What bloom of youth, what beauty this to the city of thy sway. Happy is thy Marriage day. Great fortune for the birds is stored…"
— Chorus [128:36]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Cease my mate from slumber. Now let the sacred hymn notes flow...” (Hoopoe, [18:35])
• “Let us make in grand procession and to win their favour bring a nice sheep as offering.” (Chorus, [69:33])
• “We feed in gardens on white sesame grains, on myrtle berries, poppy seeds and water mint.” (Hoopoe, [13:55])
• “First, locusts shall not feed upon their vine shoots, but this pest shall by a single troop of owls and falcons be suppressed.” (Pythateris, [47:34])
• “I want to measure geometrically your atmosphere and map it out in acres.” (Inspector, [80:58])
• “Now must we hold a solemn sacrifice in honour of the new-made deities.” (Pythateris, [69:10])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Prologue & Setup: 01:30 – 06:39
• Meeting the Hoopoe: 07:07 – 15:23
• Bird Assembly Summoned: 18:06 – 23:41
• Founding of Cloud Cuckoo Land: 36:45 – 50:03
• Rituals & Interlopers: 70:08 – 85:36
• City Built/Conflict with the Gods: 91:19 – 99:52
• Peace Negotiations/Finale: 115:03 – 131:18

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Tone and Style

Playful, high-spirited satire dominates the episode. The lively banter, wry commentary on politics, bureaucracy, and myth, plus flamboyant bird “rituals” create a mood both absurdist and mischievously wise. Despite the ancient source, the humor, social critique, and irreverence feel both timeless and thoroughly accessible.

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Conclusion

This episode of the King Arthur podcast delivers a vivid, entertaining adaptation of Aristophanes’ The Birds, spotlighting classical satire and imaginative escapism. Through clever dialogue, elaborate choral odes, and creative reinterpretation of myth, it provides both laughter and pointed observations on society, power, and human folly.
For listeners seeking rich literary drama, tongue-in-cheek subversion, and a taste of classical comedy, this episode is a feast—filled with memorable characters, inventive language, and comic invention from start to finish.

Transcript

[Grainger Maintenance Engineer]

When you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant, you keep production lines moving and quality on track because there's no room for slowdowns. With Grainger's vast selection of high quality motors, sensors, belts and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place so nothing gets in the way of getting the job done. Call 1-800-GRAINGER clickranger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Grainger Procurement Manager]

Grainger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail, Filters ready to clog H Vac on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering and 24. 7 support. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click grainger.com or or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Grainger Maintenance Engineer]

When you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant, you keep production lines moving and quality on track because there is no room for slowdowns. With Grainger's vast selection of high quality motors, sensors, belts and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place, so nothing gets in the way of getting the job done. Call 1-800-granger clickranger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.

[Narrator]

Prologue of the Birds by Aristophanes Translated by Benjamin Hall Kennedy this is a Librivox recording. All Librivox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Librivox.com

[Euelpides]

dramatis personae uel pediz read

[Pythateris]

by Chris Pyle Pythateris read by Erifron

[Hoopoe]

Hoopo read by Alan Lapstone Herald read

[Pythateris]

by Rick Cordray A Priest, read by

[Poet]

Inko A poet read by Redrun Soothsayer

[Miton]

read by Rita Boutros Miton a Geometrician,

[Inspector]

read by Avay An Inspector read by

[Hoopoe]

Elsie Selwyn A plebiscite vendor read by

[Inspector]

Beeswax Candle Iris read by Abayi A

[Parricide]

Would be Parricide, read by Andrea Atwood

[Hoopoe]

Kinesius read by Alan Mapstone Informer read

[Prometheus]

by Caveat Prometheus read by Greg Giordano

[Poseidon]

Poseidon, read by Ethan Hirst Chabalion read

[Miton]

by Inko Heracles, read by Rita Bouchos

[First Messenger]

first messenger read by Deanna Leigh Second

[Runner Bird]

messenger read by David Purdy Third messenger

[Hoopoe]

read by Sonia Runner.

[Runner Bird]

Bird read by David Purdy.

[Chorus]

Chorus of Birds read by Todd Stage

[Narrator]

directions read by Kristen Hand. Prologue scene A wild tract with bush and rock, a tree in the distance Enter Pythaters and Eulipides with slaves Eulippides to the J.

[Euelpides]

Straight where the tree stands out. Is that the track?

[Pythateris]

Plague take you. Mine again is croaking back still.

[Euelpides]

Up and down, old sinner must we pace. Twill kill us both this vain way. Weaving race.

[Pythateris]

That I, poor wretch, believing in a crow, more than a thousand furlongs round should go.

[Euelpides]

That I bad luck, believing in a jay, should knock my wretched toenails all away.

[Pythateris]

Tis past my knowledge where on earth we stand.

[Euelpides]

Could you from hence find out the

[Pythateris]

fatherland that not e' en execaestides could do?

[Hoopoe]

Woe, woe.

[Pythateris]

That road, my friend. I leave to you.

[Euelpides]

A scurvy trick he's played on us. He of the bird mart, Philocrates the poulterer in his craze he said this pair would find out for us Tereus, the Hoopoe hymn. That once upon a time into a bird was turned from out the birds. And so he sold this brat of three, Tharolides, this jay for twopence, and yon crow for sixpence. But all the creatures knew was how

[Narrator]

to peck to the jay.

[Euelpides]

Now what do you gape at? Somewhere down the rocks do you propose to push us?

[Pythateris]

Here's no road, nor here, I vow, no vestige of a path.

[Euelpides]

Your crow says something, doesn't she?

[Pythateris]

Of the way her croak is different from before. By Jove.

[Euelpides]

But pray, what says she of the road?

[Pythateris]

I'll maul and gnaw your fingers off, she says. That's all.

[Euelpides]

Now, isn't it monstrous hard that when we want to go to the ravens and are quite prepared yet, after all, we can't find out the way. No gentles, ye that come to hear our plot. We're stricken with a certain malady, the opposite of that which Cacas has he no true citizen is struggling in, while we full franchised, both in tribe and clan. Citizens in the midst of citizens, with none to scare us from our fatherland flew out as fast as both our feet could waft us. Not moved by hatred of that city's self, that tis not in its nature great and happy, and free to all alike to pay their fines. In no faith. Cicalas for a month or two are chirping on the shoots. Athenians ever are chirping on the suits. Their lifetime through such Are the reasons why we gang this gate. With sacred corbel pot and myrtle sprays we wander, seeking for a suitless spot where we may settle down and spend our lives. In short, we're bound to Tereus court the hoopoe. From him we wish to learn of such a city. He e' er descried in any of his flights.

[Pythateris]

Hello, sir.

[Euelpides]

Well, what now?

[Pythateris]

The crow sometime makes upward signs to me.

[Euelpides]

Ay, and this jay stares upward open mouthed as shewing me something. There must be birds, no question hereabouts. But if we make a noise, we soon shall know.

[Pythateris]

I'll tell you what to do. Just give the roc a shinstroke.

[Euelpides]

By all means. And you a head stroke. A double knock will make a double noise.

[Pythateris]

Well, take a stone and strike.

[Euelpides]

I'll do your bidding, Boy. Boy?

[Pythateris]

What's that you call the hoopoe, boy? Ought you not rather to cry hoop a poi?

[Euelpides]

Hoop a poi. Whooping once, it seems won't do. Hoop a poi.

[Narrator]

Enter runner bird from the bush.

[Runner Bird]

Who are these who calls my lord?

[Euelpides]

Apollo. Gardus. What a monstrous yawn.

[Runner Bird]

Me miserable. They're a brace of fowlers.

[Euelpides]

So foul a thing is scarce polite to utter.

[Runner Bird]

You'll be put to death.

[Euelpides]

But we're not men. What are you, funkling eye, A Libyan bird or fudge? You'll find abundant evidence.

[Runner Bird]

Well, and what bird's this other? Won't you speak?

[Pythateris]

Skunkling, am I? One of the tell tale tits.

[Euelpides]

But prithee say, what animal are you?

[Runner Bird]

I am a slave bird.

[Euelpides]

Did some cock defeat you?

[Runner Bird]

Not so. But when milord became a hoopoe, he prayed that I too might become a bird. So should he have a pursevent and page.

[Euelpides]

One bird then needs another for a page?

[Runner Bird]

My master does, by reason, I suppose, that he was formerly a man. And so when he would lunch upon Falerian whitebait, I run to fetch him. Whitebait? Dish and soup if he craves. Ladle and spoon are wanted. I run for a ladle.

[Euelpides]

Tis the runner bird. I'll tell you runner what to do. Go call your master for us.

[Runner Bird]

Nay, but he's just gone to take a nap. After a hearty meal of myrtle berries with a gnat or two.

[Euelpides]

Well, wake him all the same.

[Runner Bird]

I'm very sure he'll be displeased. But for your sakes, I'll wake him.

[Narrator]

Exit runner bird.

[Pythateris]

Go and be hanged for frightening me to death.

[Euelpides]

Woe's me, unlucky wight. My jay too's gone in terror.

[Pythateris]

O you biggest of Big cowards. Your fright it was allow'd the jay to go.

[Euelpides]

Pray you didn't tumble down and loose the crow.

[Pythateris]

Not I, by Jove.

[Euelpides]

Where is she?

[Pythateris]

Flown away.

[Euelpides]

Oh, you didn't loose her. Bravest of the brave.

[Narrator]

The hoopoe speaks from the bush.

[Hoopoe]

Open the greenwood, that I may come forth.

[Narrator]

Enter hoopoe.

[Euelpides]

Great Heracles. What animal is here? What plumage this? What triple crested fashion.

[Hoopoe]

Who are they that come to seek me?

[Euelpides]

The 12 gods seem to have smashed you, strangers.

[Hoopoe]

Do you flout me because you see this plumage? I was once a man.

[Euelpides]

We do not laugh at you.

[Hoopoe]

What then?

[Euelpides]

That beak of yours looks to us laughable.

[Hoopoe]

Of course, such insults in his tragedies does Sophocles inflict on me? The Tereus.

[Euelpides]

You're Tereus? Are you bird or peacock?

[Hoopoe]

Which a bird am I?

[Euelpides]

Where are your feathers then?

[Hoopoe]

They've fallen off.

[Euelpides]

Was that from some disease?

[Pythateris (alternate)]

No.

[Hoopoe]

In the winter all birds moult their feathers, and then again we fledge another set. But tell me, what you twain are mortals? We your native country.

[Euelpides]

Whence the gala triremes Helias, are you? No, the other sort. Heliost haters.

[Hoopoe]

Is that seed sown there?

[Euelpides]

A sprinkling. You may gather off the field.

[Hoopoe]

But pray, what object come you here?

[Euelpides]

In quest of an interview with you.

[Hoopoe]

Upon what business?

[Euelpides]

Seeing that first you once were man like us once money owed to creditors like us once gladly shirked, repaying it like us next, changing to the nature of the birds, you flew about o' er land and sea, and all the feelings both of man and bird are yours. Therefore were hither come as suppliants to you, to see if you can shew us some snug city, soft as a blanket to lie down and snooze in

[Hoopoe]

A greater city seek you than the Kranan?

[Euelpides]

Not greater? No, but nicer for ourselves, you see?

[Hoopoe]

Canaristocracy, that's clear.

[Euelpides]

Not I. And Scellius, youngster makes me sick.

[Hoopoe]

What kind of city would you choose to dwell in?

[Euelpides]

One where the greatest troubles should be these. Some friend should seek my door at morning tide and say, By Zeus, Olympias, I beseech you and your children take an early bath and visit me. I give a wedding breakfast. Don't think of saying no. Or if you do, never approach me when my fortunes ebb.

[Hoopoe]

Good sooth, sad troubles you're enamour'd of. And you?

[Pythateris]

My longing is the same.

[Hoopoe]

For what one?

[Pythateris]

Where a friend should meet me in the street, the father of a marriageable daughter, and rate me Soundly thus as having wrong'd him. Still, Bonides, you never come to see my little girl. I'll whisper in your ear, she'll have five talents for her marriage portion. And you're my old hereditary friend, poor fellow.

[Hoopoe]

What afflictions you're in love with. Well, there's a city such as you describe, favourite of fortune, on the Red Sea coast.

[Euelpides]

Ah, name it not. No seaside place for us, where sudden some fine morning will pop up carrying a summoner. The Salamynia. But can you tell us some Hellenic

[Hoopoe]

city, why don't you go to Lepreus of Elis and there reside?

[Euelpides]

Because so witness heaven. Although I never saw it from Melanthius, the very name of Lepreus turns my stomach.

[Hoopoe]

In Locris. There's another breed, O Pentrians, where you

[Euelpides]

should settle to become Opuntius. No, not a talent's weight of gold would tempt me. But what's the style of living with the birds? You know it well, no doubt.

[Hoopoe]

Not disagreeable for daily wear and tear. To take an instance, you have to live without a purse.

[Euelpides]

Good riddance of one of life's most palpable corruptions.

[Hoopoe]

We feed in gardens on white sesame grains, on myrtle berries, poppy seeds and water mint.

[Poseidon]

Then.

[Euelpides]

Tis a life of bridegrooms that you lead.

[Pythateris]

Huzza, huzza. I spy a great design, I really do. Within the scope of birds to frame and power to work it out. If you will only take my counsel.

[Hoopoe]

Take what counsel?

[Pythateris]

What? Why, first cease flying all about with open bills. Such conduct's not respectable. For instance, in our world. There inquire about the flutterers. Who's yonder fellow? Tullius will reply. Oh, that's a birdman. Flying without ballast, all aimless, never staying in one spot.

[Hoopoe]

Right, well, you ridicule such ways by Bacchus. What must we do, then?

[Pythateris]

Found a single city.

[Hoopoe]

What sort of city could we found wi birds?

[Pythateris]

So, so. You, speaker of the silliest speech. Look down.

[Hoopoe]

I'm looking

[Pythateris]

now. Look up.

[Hoopoe]

I do.

[Pythateris]

Now turn your neck about.

[Hoopoe]

A pretty gain. Twill be forsooth if I'm to wring my neck.

[Pythateris]

Did you see something?

[Hoopoe]

Yes, the clouds and sky.

[Pythateris]

These constitute, I think, the sight of birds.

[Hoopoe]

Sight? How do you mean?

[Pythateris]

Another term for seat. They're such a sight of things within their range that now they're naturally called a sight. But settled once and fortified by you, instead of sight, they shall be termed a city. So will he rule o' er men as over locusts and wear the gods to death. With Melian famine.

[Hoopoe]

How so?

[Pythateris]

The air's midway, methinks from Earth. And just as if we want to visit Delphi, we ask Boeotians for a passage through. Even so, whene' er men sacrifice to gods, unless the gods agree to pay you tribute, you'll not let savoury meat steams pass your way.

[Hoopoe]

Bravo. Bravo. By earth, by snares, by gins, by nets. I never, no, never did I hear a prettier notion. So with your help, the city I will found consent being given by the

[Pythateris]

other birds, who will expound the matter

[Hoopoe]

to them you shall. For though they were a barbarous race before I taught them language, living with them long.

[Grainger Procurement Manager]

Granger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail, Filters ready to clog H Vac on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering and 24. 7 support. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Grainger Maintenance Engineer]

When you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant, you keep production lines moving and quality on because there is no room for slowdowns. With Grainger's vast selection of high quality motors, sensors, belts and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place. So nothing gets in the way of getting the job done. Call 1-800-GRAINGER clickranger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Grainger Procurement Manager]

Grainger knows. When you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building. You're managing. You're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail, Filters ready to clog H Vac on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering and 24. 7 support. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Pythateris]

How then can you convoke them easily?

[Hoopoe]

I'll enter here at once into the bush and after I've aroused my nightingale, we'll call them. If they do but hear our voice, they'll run full speed.

[Pythateris]

Then stay not, dearest bird, but I beseech you, go into the bush this instant and arouse the nightingale.

[Narrator]

The hoopoe enters the bush and chants,

[Hoopoe]

Cease my mate from slumber. Now let the sacred hymn notes flow, Wailing with thy voice divine, Long wept itis mine and thine so when thy brow beak is thrilling with that holy music trilling through the woodbine's leafy bound swells the pure melodious sound to the throne of Zeus. And there Phoebus of the golden hair, hearing to thine, elegies with the awakened chords replies of his ivory claspd lyre, stirring all the Olympian choir, till from each immortal tongue of that blessed heavenly throng peals the full harmonious song.

[Narrator]

Music is played, imitating the notes of the nightingale.

[Euelpides]

O royal Zeus. That bird's voice. What a flood of honey did it stream o' er all the wood.

[Pythateris]

Hullo, sir.

[Euelpides]

Well, what now?

[Pythateris]

Be silent.

[Euelpides]

Why?

[Pythateris]

The hoopoe frames another melody.

[Hoopoe]

E Pop a pop a pop a puppa. Pop a pop a boy. Hola. Hola. What ho, what ho. Hither haste, my plume partakers Come many, come Any that pasture on the farmer's well sown acres, Tribes countless on that barley feed and clans that gather out the seed Come alert upon the wing. Dulcet music utter ring ye that o' er the furrowed sod twitter upon every clod, making all the air rejoice with your soft and slender voice. Teotio. T o T O T O T o Ye that feast on garden fruits nestling mid the ivy shoots, ye that all the mountains throng Olive croppers, arbute loppers haste and fly to greet my song. Trioto, Trioto. Toto. Bricks ye that o' er the marshy flats swallow down the shrill mouthed gnats Ye that haunt the deep dewed ground Marathon sweetmeads surround ouzel and thou of the speckled wing, Hazel hen, hazel hen speed while I sing. Come many, come any with the halcyon brood that sweep surges of the watery deep. Come and list to novel words which to hear from far and near we gather all the tribes of neck extending birds. Here's arrived a sharp old man of revolutionary mind to revolutionary deeds inclined. Come all and listen to his plan. And hither, hither, hither, hither. Toro, toro, toro, toro. Ticks Keek a bow, Keek a bow. Toro, toro, toro, toro.

[Pythateris]

Lily licks See you some bird.

[Euelpides]

By Apollo. No, not I yet all agape, I'm gazing on the sky.

[Pythateris]

So then the hoopoe went into the wood and mocked the curlew, screaming for no good.

[Narrator]

End of Prologue. Episode one of the Birds by Aristophanes Translated by Benjamin Hall Kennedy this is a Librivox recording. All Librivox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Librivox.org Episode 1 Bird entering Toro

[Pythateris]

Tyx Toro Tix Nay, my friend this very moment hears a bird approaching close.

[Euelpides]

Ay, by Jove, what bird, I wonder? Tis a peacock.

[Pythateris]

I suppose our obliging friend will tell us. What's this bird, sir?

[Hoopoe]

Kindly say tis not one of those accustomed sort your seeing every day, but a lake bird.

[Euelpides]

Oh, the beauty. What a brilliant tint of flame.

[Hoopoe]

And a very proper colour for flamingo is its name.

[Euelpides]

Hola.

[Pythateris]

You, sir, what do you bawl at?

[Euelpides]

Here's another coming now.

[Pythateris]

Yes, another bird. And holding an uncommon sight, I vow. Pray, sir, what is that absurd, delicate treading mews seer bird?

[Hoopoe]

Medus is its native title.

[Euelpides]

Medus Heracles the king, flying in without a camel. Could a Mede do such a thing?

[Pythateris]

Here's another bird that's taken to himself a crest again.

[Euelpides]

Hey, what's this? By way of marble. Are not you sol Hoopoe, then. Have you got a double? Please.

[Hoopoe]

This is son of Philocles, son of Hoopoe. I'm its grandsire, like your own. Our titles run. Callias, son of Hipponicus. Hipponicus. Callias son Callias.

[Euelpides]

Then. This bird you call. See how fast his feathers fall.

[Hoopoe]

Yes, because he is a lordling parasites. His plumage clip. And the lady birds, moreover, all the little remnants strip.

[Euelpides]

Opecidon. Here's another parti colored bird in sight. What's the title we're to give him?

[Hoopoe]

Call him Gobbler. And you're right, Gobbler.

[Euelpides]

Is there any known save Cleonyonymus alone?

[Pythateris]

If Kleonymus we call him, ought he not his crest to lose?

[Euelpides]

Well, but whence arose this fashion of the birds? A crest to use, were they to the devil? Heat race?

[Hoopoe]

No, good, sir. They build their nests with a view to preservation, like the carrions up on crests.

[Pythateris]

O Poseidon, what a plaguy. Lot of birds are gathered here, don't you see?

[Euelpides]

O King Apollo, what a cloud. O dear, oh dear. For they're flying now no more. Can we see the entrance door?

[Hoopoe]

Hither is a partridge coming there a hazel hen is shown up on this side is a widgeon, up on that a halcyon.

[Pythateris]

What's the one we see behind her?

[Hoopoe]

That one. Razor Bill's the name.

[Pythateris]

Razor Bill's a bird.

[Euelpides]

Then call it Sporgilius Twill be the same.

[Hoopoe]

Here's an owl.

[Pythateris]

What's this? You tell me who to Athens brought an owl?

[Hoopoe]

Pie and turtle, larkin, pigeon, goat sucker and guinea fowl, hawk and falcon. Cu shack, cuckoo, redshank, red pudding come in view gannet, kestrel, diver, osprey, flycatcher and woodchat too.

[Euelpides]

Merrily, merrily come the birds, Merrily come the blackbirds all. What a twittering. What a fluttering. What variety of squall. Don't they threaten us? I fear so. Sure, with yawning beaks they blink and on you and me are staring.

[Pythateris]

You are right, I really think.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Wee, wee, wee, wee. Where is he? Summoned me. In what region feedeth he?

[Hoopoe]

Here I am. Long time expecting from my friends I never flee.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Tay Tay. Tay Tay. Tell me, pray, what do day friendly word have you to say?

[Hoopoe]

One that's safe and just and pleasant and of public use. You'll find. Here are two men come to see me, schemers, both of sub.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Where? Which way? What do you say?

[Hoopoe]

Two old men are come, I answer, hither from the Isle of Man, and they bring a business with them solid of enormous span.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

O, you. Worst of all offenders since I first began to feed. What do you tell me?

[Hoopoe]

Don't be frightened.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

What is this unfriendly deed I've received?

[Hoopoe]

2 men enamoured of a social league with you.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

So you've really gone and done it?

[Hoopoe]

I am, very gladly too.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

And are they now somewhere near us?

[Hoopoe]

Yes, if I am near to you.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Alas, alas, betrayed are we treated with impiety. He who was our friend, who feeds near us in our common meads, or all our ancient rules, Forsaking all the oaths of birds is breaking, Lures me to a treacherous place, sells me to an impious race, which was ever unto me bred in mortal enmity since it first began to be. But we shall proceed to reckon with the bird another day. For these two old men I'd have them now the penal forfeit pay and be torn in pieces by us.

[Pythateris]

There. All's up with us, you see.

[Euelpides]

Yes, and you alone must answer for our dire calamity. For what purposes did you lead me thence?

[Pythateris]

That you might follow me?

[Euelpides]

Nay, that I might cry my eyes out.

[Pythateris]

Pack of nonsense that about crying. How are you to do it when your eyes are once torn?

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Out, ho. Forward march. Advance the deadly warlike charge. Throw out both wings and to outflank our front enlarge, since the twain must weep and cry, and pasture to the beaks supply for nor shady mountain lair, Nor the cloud that sails the air, nor any depth of hoardy sea may shelter them escap'd from me. So let us delay no longer, both our foes to tear and bite. Where's the general of division? Let him straight lead on our right.

[Euelpides]

Tis the crisis. Whither, wretched, can I fly?

[Pythateris]

What, won't you stay to be torn

[Euelpides]

in pieces by them?

[Pythateris]

Can you then invent a way to escape?

[Euelpides]

I know none.

[Pythateris]

Then I'll tell you how to manage it. We must make a standing fight and take some pots from out our kit.

[Euelpides]

And what good's a pot to do us?

[Pythateris]

This the owl will not molest, but

[Euelpides]

for those crook taloned wretches.

[Pythateris]

Grasp the spit and let it rest in your front full, firmly planted for the eyes.

[Euelpides]

What must be done?

[Pythateris]

Take a saucer or a platter out and tie it tightly on.

[Euelpides]

O, you cleverest of commanders all, your plan is well design'd in the art of engineering. You've left Nicias far behind.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

El El. El. Quick march. Present the beak. No moment for delay. Holum terum sphytum flejum. Striking first the pot.

[Chorus]

Away.

[Hoopoe]

Vilest of the brute creation. Tell me, would you slay and skin two men who have never har My lady's tribe and kin?

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Spare em. Spare the wolves. Then can we punish a more hostile kind?

[Hoopoe]

Hostile? If they are by nature, yet they bear a friendly mind, and a thing they've come to teach us we may to our prophet find.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Can it be then to our prophet any tale by these men told, Any lesson of their teaching. Foeman to my sires of old, much

[Hoopoe]

instruction do the wise gather from their enemies good precautions, sure salvation. This from friends you never learn, but your foeman puts the screw on. And tis taught you to a turn. Foes not friends instructed. Nations, fortresses and fleets to make. And this lesson saves their children, homes and all they have at stake?

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Well, indeed. In my opinion, giving audience to their speech may be useful. To begin with, something wise a foe

[Pythateris]

may teach now their wrath they seem to slacken, so retire a step or two.

[Hoopoe]

What you said is common justice, and your thanks to me are due ne' er.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

On any other question have we been opposed to you.

[Pythateris]

They're more peaceful than before. So the pot and dishes lower for the spear. I mean the spit. We must still be holding it as we pace the encampment. Peeping o' er the kettle's rim and keeping good. Look out. We must not fly.

[Euelpides]

In what soil then? If we die, tell me, shall we?

[Pythateris]

Buried lie Burial place For you and me shall the Ceramachus be public funeral to secure. We shall the War Office tell. Fighting with the foe we fell in the battle of Birdpoor.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Next again your steps retrace Wheel into your former place, Stooping there in hoplite fashion Ground your temper. Next your passion that by inquiry we may find.

[Chorus]

Whence come this pair?

[Pythateris (alternate)]

And with what mind sir Hoopoe? You I call.

[Chorus]

What ho.

[Hoopoe]

What does your calling? Seek to know who are these?

[Chorus]

Whence come they tell us strangers they

[Hoopoe]

from clever Hellas to the birds.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

What fortune brings em love of birds

[Hoopoe]

and bird life stings Em dwellers with you they would be ever of your company.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

What's this story that you tell? What proposals do they make?

[Hoopoe]

Incredible, incredible. Far too large for ears to take.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Sees he then a chance of gaining any good by here remaining? Does he certainly confide? Dwelling ever at my side to overthrow any foe, any friend to defend.

[Hoopoe]

He predicts for you and me some immense felicitee not by language to be taught, not to be conceived in thought. He will prove by reason strong. All these things to you belong. All that's here and all that's hither, all that's there and all that's thither.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

What is he? A brain sick fool.

[Hoopoe]

Monstrous, sensible and cool.

[Grainger Procurement Manager]

Grainger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail, filters ready to clog. H Vac on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering and 24. 7 support. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Grainger Maintenance Engineer]

When you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant, you keep production lines moving and quality on because there is no room for slowdowns. With Grainger's vast selection of high quality motors, sensors, belts and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place, so nothing gets in the way of getting the job done. Call 1-800-GRAINGER clickranger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Grainger Procurement Manager]

Grainger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail, filters ready to clog. H Vac on Its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Grainger. For quality products, easy reordering and 24. 7 support, call 1-800-Grainger click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Has he learned a trick or two?

[Hoopoe]

Cutest fox I ever knew. Plans and precedents to shower. Smooth as butter, fine as flour.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

His proposals unto me bid him utter utter. Listening to the tale you see sets me all a flutter.

[Hoopoe]

Now you and you, this panna plea take back and hang it up in prospect of good luck within the kitchen by the plate rack's side. An you, sir, make the statements which to hear. I'd summon these expound not I, by

[Pythateris]

Apollo, unless they make the covenant with me, which with his wife that ape the sword rite made, that they won't bite or worry me, in short, won't scratch my eyes out.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Good. I covenant.

[Pythateris]

Then swear it.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Well, I swear. If I am faithful, then by the votes of all the judges here, and all the spectators, the first prize be mine excepted. But if I transgress the oath, then by one judge's casting vote, I win.

[Hoopoe]

Oh, yeas, o yeas. Let every hoplite now take up his armour and go home again, and note our proclamations on the sign boards.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

At every time, on every side, man's crafty nature is descried. Yet freely speak your mind, for haply you may find some useful character in me, some mightier faculty to which my witless thoughts ne' er travell'd by your cuter sense unravel'd such vantage ground. If you have found unto the public ear the case expound, since all of good you gain for me, our common property shall be so, whatever be the thing you with full conviction bring, let it now be boldly spoken, for our truce will not be broken.

[Pythateris]

My mind, be sure, is eagerly at work. E' en now indeed, when ready, levin'd argument. The time is come to need. Ho, boy. A crown, and here some slave. Bring water, quick, my hands to lave.

[Euelpides]

Is there a dinner in the wind, or what are we to have?

[Pythateris]

No, but I've long desired to speak a big well fatten'd word, by which the nation here may feel its spirit deeply stirr'd. So sorrowful am I for you who anciently were kings.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

We kings?

[Pythateris]

Of what indeed you were, of all existing things, of me, my friend here Jove himself, ere Cronus was, ye were before the titan brood. And earth.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

And earth.

[Pythateris]

Tis true. I swear.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

I never heard so help me Jove, a word of this before you're such

[Pythateris]

a dull, incurious lot, unread in Aesop's lore, whose story says the lark was born first of the feathered choir before the earth Then came a cold and carried off his sire. Earth was not five days lay the old bird untombed at last the son buried the father in his head. Since other grave was none.

[Euelpides]

The father of the lark lies dead, I understand, at Berryhead.

[Pythateris]

If then before the gods they were, and earlier than the earth is not the kingdom theirs of right? By eldership, of birth true by Apollo

[Euelpides]

so resolve henceforth a beak to rear the sceptre soon will Jove restore unto the woodpecker.

[Pythateris]

There's ample proof that birds, not gods of yore, were lords of men and kings. First I'll produce the cock. Who ruled the Persians then ere aught was of Darius or of Megabasus heard and still from that archaic rule he's called the Persian bird.

[Euelpides]

Like the great king, he therefore struts and on his head full dressed alone of all the birds, he wears erect the turban crest.

[Pythateris]

So strong was he, so mighty then so big that to this hour when he his matin alto sings in memory of that power Smiths, potters, tanners, cordwainers, trades folk of every guild corn factors, bathing men and such as frame the lyre and shield Spring up to work Some get them dressed ere night is o' er to start.

[Euelpides]

Ask me to give that evidence, I know it to my smart I lost a cloak of Phrygian wool all through that bird I did for to a baby's naming feast Being in the city bid, I drank arouse and dozed awhile Then crew this cock ere yet the rest had supped, I surely thought. Twas morn and off I set to but scarce I'd poked my nose beyond the wall A footpad's bludgeon smote my back.

[Grainger Procurement Manager]

Granger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail, filters ready to clog H Vac on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Granger for quality products, easy reordering and 24. 7 support. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done. Grainger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail. Filters ready to clog H back on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering and 24. 7 support. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done. Grainger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail. Filters ready to clog H Vac on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering and 24. 7 support. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Euelpides]

I fell and tried to bawl, but ere I could so much as moan, my cloak was slipped, my robber flown

[Pythateris]

Ay, and a kite was ruling then the Hellenes, and was king the Hellenist. Yes, and in his reign it first became the thing to drop a reverence to the kites by Bacchus.

[Euelpides]

Twas my fate, spying a kite to make my bow, Then tossing back my pate down the red lane my money went, and I was forced to drag back to my home, all supperless and sad, an empty bag.

[Pythateris]

In Egypt and Phoenike too, a cuckoo filled the throne. And when the cuckoo cried cuckoo, Venetians every one. The wheat and barley in the fields would reap with might and main.

[Euelpides]

Aye, truly thence the saw, cuckoo, ye cripples to the plain.

[Pythateris]

So mighty was their sway, that if in some Hellenic town a king as Agamemnon or his brother wore the crown, a bird upon their sceptres sat the many bribes to share.

[Euelpides]

Well, this I never heard before. So I could only stare when in the tragedies came forth some Priam bird in hand, that stood near base Lysocrates, and all his bribery scann'd.

[Pythateris]

What strikes me most, the present Zeus. A bird an eagle wears upon his statue's head as king an owl his daughter bears. Apollo has a little hawk as a mere serving man.

[Euelpides]

Right Bitemeter. And now what's the reason of the plan?

[Pythateris]

That when a sacrificer puts, according to our use, the entrails in the hand, these birds may take them before Zeus no man would then swear by a God but all men by the birds. And Lampon still adjures the goose to back his cheating words. Once you see you were high in place once a great and holy race, holy and great by all men, deemed now as the merest jacks esteemed. If in their temples you now alight, they pelt you like any bedlamite, and the cunning fowlers fore you set, snare and springe, twig, trap, gin, cage and net. Then they catch and sell you by the score, and the buyers feel and pinch you sore, till at last, when comes the sad decree, they don't even roast you decently, but the grated cheese they first prepare, adding silphium, oil and vinegar, and they rub in these with cruel care. Then a sauce they heat that's rich and sweet, and drench you with it like dried dog's meat.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

By far, O man, alas, by far. These tales of awe most cruel are which to mine ears you bring, and from me tears you ring for those, my coward sires, who could thus in my babyhood abandon'd mighty privileges set down from old ancestral ages. But as you're come, by heav' n's decree and happy chance a saviour unto me, my nestlings and myself I give in your protectorate to live forthwith. Then teach us what to do, since life's not worth the name, unless by fair means or by foul, our kingdom we reclaim.

[Pythateris]

First then I teach that of the birds one city you shall found, and next that all this atmosphere that circles you around, and all the ways that intervene the earth and sky between, with huge baked bricks, like Babylon be walled about by you.

[Euelpides]

O Gog and Magog, what a town. How terrible to view when this has

[Pythateris]

gained its perfect height. Reclaim from Zeus the sway, and if he won't knock under straight, but still returns, nay, announce to him a sacred war, and notify the gods they must not pass as heretofore through your august abodes, According of their semeles, alcmenas and the rest, such contraband amours shall now most strictly be suppressed to men. You will also send a bird as herald with these. Henceforth, as birds are raining, you must sacrifice to birds and to the gods in second rank, whereto must be assigned for every God a proper bird, the fittest you can find. Aphrodite's sacrifice, crumpets for the coot implies if a sheep Poseidon gain wheat, corn, let the duck obtain, Comes for Heracles a treat. Honey cakes the gull must eat, if King Zeus, a ram delight weave our king bird, who by right Zeus himself proceeding, can claim a slaughtered gnat from man.

[Euelpides]

Slaughtered gnat. Charming that. Let him thunder now, great Zann.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

But how shall we to human gaze appear as gods, instead of jays flying about and wearing wings?

[Pythateris]

All nonsense. Hermes flies, God as he is, and wings are worn by countless deities. Lo, victory soars on golden wings. And Eros too, by Jove and Hera, likewise, Homer says, went like a trembling dove. And when it thunders, does not Zeus the winged lightning on us loose?

[Pythateris (alternate)]

But if mere ciphers we shall seem to unenlighten'd men, Olympians only count as gods.

[Pythateris]

A cloud of sparrows then, and grain devourers off the land shall all their seed corn eat. Then let Demeter, when they starve, dole out to them her wheat.

[Euelpides]

She never will. So help me, Zeus, you'll see her making some excuse again.

[Pythateris]

The ravens may tear out, if thus it must be tried, the eyes of all their ploughing kine and all their sheep beside. Then let Apollo heal, if he's as rich in science as in fees.

[Euelpides]

Pray, till I've sold my little team of bullocks twain. Don't try the scheme.

[Pythateris]

But if they deem you God, you, life, you, earth, you, Cronus, you, Poseidon, they shall have all goods.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Just mention one or two.

[Pythateris]

First, locusts shall not feed upon their vine shoots, but this pest shall by a single troop of owls and falcons be suppressed. Next, on their figs. At no time shall the nits and maggots prey, when flight of thrushes shall pick out and clear them all away.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

But wealth, which men so dearly love,

[Chorus]

whence are we to bestow when they consult these birds?

[Pythateris]

To them the paying minds will show. And all the profitable marts they'll mention to the seer, so that no captain will be lost.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

None lost. Let that appear.

[Pythateris]

When about sailing, men consult. Some bird will still explain. Don't sail at present, there'll be a storm. Sail now. Tis certain.

[Euelpides]

Gain a bark, I buy, command a crew. I won't stay dawdling here with you.

[Pythateris]

They'll show them, too, the hidden coins which men of old laid down. They know them all. A saying. Tis familiar to the town. My treasure, where it lies interr'd, none knows unless it be some bird.

[Euelpides]

I sell my bark, a spade I buy. And grubbing up the gutters try.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

But how are we to give them health, which with the gods dost?

[Pythateris]

Well, good fortune is not that good health.

[Euelpides]

Yes, all the world can tell when a man's doing very ill. He can't be very well.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

But how shall they attain old age? A pure Olympian privilege. Must they decrease in childhood?

[Pythateris]

No, by Jove, dismiss your fears. They'll get a bonus from the birds of full 300 years who'll give them to the birds who give themselves. Why, don't you know? Five generations of mankind exists. The chattering crow.

[Euelpides]

Hurrah. Hurrah. Better by far than Zeus. For us these bird kings are true

[Pythateris]

indeed for there'll be no need temples of stone for these to rear golden doors will be useless gear under the holms and holly trees they'll be hopping and dwelling at ease. Place for the statelier birds we'll find in the boughs of an olive shrine unto Delphi or Ammon's fane Carrying victims will be vain if in arbute and olive shade plates of barley and wheat be laid Stretching our hands, we'll ask in prayer of their blessings an ample share all we seek we are sure to gain. Just for tossing a little grain.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Old man of late my bitterest foe, but now, my dearest friend, your guidance will I nevermore forsake unto the end. Elated by your words, I swear and threateningly declare if you will covenant on your part with just sincere religious heart to march against the gods with me allied in perfect harmony not very long the powers divine shall grasp the sceptre that is mine. All the work where strength is needed be to us assign'd, While to you shall be committed all requiring mind.

[Hoopoe]

Now let me tell you, there's no further time to nod and shilly shally nicias liked. But something must be done forthwith. First enter and view my nest, my straws and stock of firewood, and let us know your names.

[Pythateris]

An easy matter. My name is Pythaterus. And my friends, Euelpides of Creo, welcome both. We thank you.

[Hoopoe]

Enter in, then.

[Pythateris]

Certainly. Pray take and introduce us.

[Hoopoe]

Forward then.

[Grainger Procurement Manager]

Granger knows. When you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail, filters ready to clog H Vac on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering and 24. 7 support. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Grainger Maintenance Engineer]

When you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant, you Keep production lines moving and quality on track because there is no room for slowdowns. With Grainger's vast selection of high quality motors, sensors, belts and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place, so nothing gets in the way of getting the job done. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click granger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Grainger Procurement Manager]

Grainger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through one and around corners. Lights about to fail, filters ready to clog H Vac on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering and 24. 7 support. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Pythateris]

Yet something strikes me. Just come back a while. Let's see. Please tell us, how will he and I, non fliers live on terms with you that fly quite well. Nay, pause a while. In Aesop's Fables there is an ancient story of the fox. How bad a lodger once it found the eagle.

[Hoopoe]

Pluck up your spirits. There's a certain root which, when you've eaten, you'll at once have wings.

[Pythateris]

Then let us enter in. Hosanthius and Manidorus, take the baggage up.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Sir, with you a word or two.

[Hoopoe]

What?

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Let these men lunch with you bravely. But the musical, most melodious nightingale. Summon forth, and let her stay here awhile with us to play.

[Pythateris]

Pray, sir, refuse not speak a friendly word and from the rush brake. Fetch the little bird.

[Euelpides]

Yes, bring her hither. Let our suit prevail, that we too may behold the nightingale.

[Hoopoe]

If both desire, I must out proclaim, dear, and be presented to the strangers here.

[Narrator]

The nightingale enters from the bush wide.

[Pythateris]

Honour'd Zeus, a charming birdie. This so beautiful, so fair, so tender. Tis, and wearing heaps of gold, like some young miss.

[Euelpides]

I want to kiss her.

[Pythateris]

That's a maddish freak. She's got a pair of scissors for a beak.

[Euelpides]

From her noddle I shall peel the shell as from an egg and kiss her. Very well.

[Hoopoe]

Come, let's be moving.

[Pythateris]

Lead the way, my friend. And may good fortune still our steps attend.

[Narrator]

Exeunt hu, Piitheteris, Eulipides and slaves. End of Episode one. Episode 2 of the Birds by Aristophanes Translated by Benjamin Hall Kennedy this is a librivox Recording All Librivox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Librivox.org Episode 2 the Chorus Chant or intone the first Parabasis Comation O my Oni.

[Chorus]

O my brownie Bird of birds the dearest voice that mingling with my lays ever was the clearest playmate of my early days still to me the nearest nightingale Thus again do I meet thee, do I greet thee, Bringing to me thy sweet strain Skilfulist of artists, Thou too soft trillings of the flute Vernal melodies to suit our homily demands Thy

[Narrator]

prelude Now the nightingale plays a flute symphony Parabasis proper Ho ye men dim

[Chorus]

lived by nature closest to the leaves in feature feeble beings clay create Shadowy tribes Inanimate wingless mortals In a day doleful, dreamlike, swept away Note the lessons that we give we the immortals form to live we the ethereal, the unaged with undying plans engaged that when ye have heard aright all our lore of highest flight birds and what their true creation gods and what their generation all the rivers running through Erebus and chaos too ye may cry, well train'd by us what care we for Prodicus Chaos was and night of yore in the time all times before and black Erebus beside Tartarus Extending wide earth ere heaven were yet unknown in huge Erebus alone first our oldest legend says Black winged night a wind egg lays which as circling seasons move Brings to birth the charmer love bright with golden wings behind Semblant to the whirling wind in the vast Tartarean shade him the dull dark chaos made sire of us we nestled there till we saw the light of air race immortal there was none Till love's sorcery was begun. But when all things mixed in motion rose the sky, the earth, the ocean and the blessed gods were made everlasting undecayed. Thus of all the blessed we far the oldest claim to be and that we are sons of love many facts agree to prove still we fly our daily round still with lovers we are found Cruel hearts will oft relent If a pretty bird is sent and a quail or goose or dove wins the victory for love of the goods with which they're blest Mortals get from birds the best first of seasons, Winter, spring, summer we the tokens bring men must sow when shrieks the crane and seeking Libya's coast again that's the time each captain knows to hang up the helm

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[Chorus]

Then Orestes must not lack cloak well woven for his back, Lest with cold the robber freeze and and another garment sees Next the kite appears and brings a new season on his wings, when the flock you must release from its vernal load of fleece. Then the swallow comes to tell time to come the cloak to sell, and for where while days are hot by the slender paletot we are am enshrined to you. Delphi and Dodonna too Phoebus Self to birds you turn first whatever you should learn how to choose a mart, a trade, or a marriage, or both made the decisive omens all known in seercraft. Birds you call bird and oracle of fate Bird a sneeze you designate sign that's seen or voice that's heard. Lackey donkey. Tis a bird where Apollo Then Tis clear we're your only Pythian seer. So then if for gods you take us and your trusted muse. Seers make us Gentle breezes we will send you Pleasant seasons shall attend you. Moderate heat when summer's nearest moderate cold when winter's drearest will not sulk and sit be clouded high in Jove like grandeur shrouded but in lower ether Gliding near your mansion still abiding we will give to all your nations through their latest generations Life that's healthy peace that's wealthy youth enhancing Feast and dancing and with laughter birds milk after all shall say Tis really cloying Such the bliss you'll be enjoying Ode Muse of the Woodland Glade Tio Tio, Tio Tio Teotio Teoticks harmonist Whom tending oft in glens or on mountain tops aloft Teotio Tio Teotix Purged in an ash tree's leafy shade Teoticks through my brown bill to pan I raise Melodious strains of holy praise and to the mountain mother solemn coral lays to, to, to to to to, to, to, to to Whence belike Perennicus his soul did fill with fruit of melodies Ambrosial still carolling lyrics at his own sweet will Epirus Sirs, if any of your thrill we can offer him a home full of bl

[Pythateris (alternate)]

what

[Chorus]

your laws entitle base what you visit with disgrace we the birds commend and deem worthy of our high esteem Here by law. Tis very bad if a youngster beats his dad here with us. Tis usual rather even grand to cuff a father Strutting up and crying sir,

[Pythateris (alternate)]

if you'll fight me, lift your spur.

[Chorus]

Any of you that has been branded for a runaway As a speckled Franklin May with us securely stay Any half caste Spintherus from the land of bamboos Blackbird be call'd by us cousin of our samboose if like exacestedes some Valkyrian slave comes out Papys he can fledge with ease there and wardsmen soon will sprout to the outlaws Would some day peus son the gates betray he true nestling of his sire Partridge rank can there acquire Sneaking out, we reckon fair partridge fashion from the snare antoed so swans in olden tide Teo ti o Tio Ti o Ti o Ti o Ti o Ticks did their trilling pinions poise and chant Apollo with commingling noise Teo ti o ti o Tio Ticks perched on a knoll by Hebrus side Teotio, Teotio Ticks came through the airy cloud a cry the dappled wild beast crouching lie and sinks the billowy sea Beneath the windless sky to, to, to, to, to, to, to To. To. To Olympus echoed to his utmost bound Amazement seized the kings, and far around each grace and muse Olympian swelled the sound. Teotio. Tio. Tio. Ticks.

[Narrator]

Antiperma.

[Chorus]

Of all joys and blessings none beats the having feathers on one of you spectators may, wearing wings at any play get at last a peckish feel and desire a quiet meal home. He'll fly, just take a snack, Then with belly full, fly back any other small affair, Wanting only speed and care. Flying helps you to get through quietly and quickly too. Flying off with full success crowns a lover's happiness. If he spies his rival here in the senatorial tier, he can spread his wings and fly. Love directed through the sky, keep his happy tryst and then fly into his seat again.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Isn't it then the best of things

[Chorus]

to possess a pair of wings? In Diotrephus we find proof enough for any mind. Ossier wings were all his claim, Yet a captain he became by his tribesmen duly voted thence to higher grade. Promoted now, he gives himself grand airs, Once the roughest of the roughs and the title that he bears, Colonel Horscock of the Buffs.

[Narrator]

Enter Piathorus and Eulippides as birds.

[Pythateris]

So far, so good. No, never. On my word, I never saw a creature more absurd.

[Euelpides]

What are you laughing at?

[Pythateris]

Oh, don't you know those pin feathers of yours amuse me so. Such metamorphosis your wings produce. You're very like a cheaply painted goose.

[Euelpides]

You've limned my likeness. Yours is quite as droll a blackbird stripped of feathers round the pole.

[Pythateris]

These likenesses we get. The poet sings, wrought of none other but by our own wings.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

What's the next business?

[Pythateris]

We are bound to frame, first thing of all, a great and glorious name for our new city. Sacrifices due next to the powers divine.

[Euelpides]

I think so too.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

O, what title for our city shall we choose?

[Pythateris]

That which the folk at Lacedaemon use. That big one, Sparta, Would you give it?

[Euelpides]

Fie. Take for my city Sparta. No, not I. The meanest palate never should receive so poor a fitting while I'd girths to give.

[Pythateris]

What must we call it then, from

[Euelpides]

this new home, these nebulous altitudes in which we roam? Some vaunting title. Take to suited pat cloud cuckoo burrow.

[Pythateris]

What d' ye say to that?

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Bravo. Bravo.

[Chorus]

Invention's quite your forte. A very noble name, and not too short.

[Euelpides]

Is this the same Cloud Cuckoo Burrow, pray? In which Theogenes has stow'd away most of his wealth, and Eschines his all

[Pythateris]

or Haply Phlegra's plain. Twill best recall where gods outshot the boastful giant Foes with louder boasting braggadocios.

[Euelpides]

A smartish city this. But who shall dwell as guardian godhead in the citadel? For whom the broider'd mantle?

[Pythateris]

Can't we still let Athenaea keep the sacred hill?

[Euelpides]

A wisely order'd state can any be where stands in highest shrine a deity female of sex, who clad in armor, sees with shuttle in his hand a Cleisthenes to guard the stork wall.

[Pythateris]

Whom shall we engage?

[Chorus]

A bird of ours, of Persian parentage, Whose fear awakening fame, resounds afar. The gallant chicken of the God of war.

[Euelpides]

O my lord chicken. Aye. Tis chosen well. No God is fitter upon rocks to dwell.

[Pythateris]

Now you start off. Ascend the upper air and lend a hand to help the masons there. Pass on the lime to mix the mortar strip. Carry the hod up from the ladder slip. Appoint the watch the fire still hidden keep. Run round the beat with bell there fall asleep. Dispatch one herald to the gods on high, to men beneath another from the sky for me returning bid him ask.

[Euelpides]

I see you mean to rest here. Rest and hang for me.

[Pythateris]

Go on your mission, friend. Without you none of all the things I mention will be done.

[Narrator]

Exit Eulipides.

[Pythateris]

Now must we hold a solemn sacrifice in honour of the new made deities. And I will fetch a priest to range the show. Lads, lift the basket and the ewer.

[Inspector]

So.

[Narrator]

Exit Piethe terrace.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

I say so too.

[Chorus]

I vote with you. Yes. And add one counsel due to the gods devote profession.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Let us make in grand procession and

[Chorus]

to win their favour bring a nice sheep as offering. Utter forth utter high to the gods a Pythian cry and Lacharis to Arlay flower plauto obbligato play.

[Narrator]

A flute player wearing the mask of a raven with a mouthpiece enters and begins to play. Enter Pythateris with a priest.

[Pythateris]

A truce there. To your puffing Heracles. What creature's this? Will marvels never cease?

[Grainger Maintenance Engineer]

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[Pythateris]

Full many a wondrous sight I've seen, but none to match a raven with a mouthpiece on your office. Now begins, initiate priest to the new gods, our sacrificial feast.

[Priest]

I'll do the solemn duty since you ask it. But where is he that bears the sacred basket? Let us pray to Hestia Bird, Queen of Flame, and to the holy Kite that guards the same.

[Pythateris]

Hail Sunium, worshipped Hawk. Hail Royal Stork.

[Priest]

And to the Pythian Andelian Swan and to Leto, Mother Quail and Artemis the Goldfinch.

[Pythateris]

Now no more Colanis. She Goldfinch Artemis will be.

[Priest]

And to the redstart Sabrian and to the Sparrow, mighty Mother of Gods and men.

[Pythateris]

O Lady Cybele, be good to us. O Sparrow, Mother of Kleokratis and to

[Priest]

Olympian birds and ladybirds all th united prayer we call that to cloud cuckoo burgesses. They grant health and wealth and all they want themselves and their alliance a spirit especially the chains.

[Pythateris]

That's delicious. I declare Chians tacked on everywhere.

[Priest]

And each hero bird and hero's son. And to Pelican and Porphorion and to Heathcock and blackcock and peacock, and to gannet and heron, and grosbeak and shrike and screech owl, and to blackcap and titmouse, and early trumpet fowl.

[Pythateris]

A plague on all this nonsense. Cease to bawl. Ho ho. What victim's this to which you call ospreys and vultures dolt? A single kite, d' ye see, could swoop and carry off this mite? Clear out from us and take your wreaths away. I'll make this sacrifice myself to day.

[Narrator]

Exit, priest.

[Chorus]

So now again a second strain I must raise and not refrain. While they bear the sacred lotion, I must set my songs in motion. And to this our solemn rite, all the blessed gods invite. No, not all. One alone, if indeed there's meat for one in the victim standing by. Only beard and horns I spy.

[Pythateris]

Let us pray and sacrifice to the feathered deities.

[Poet]

Enter, poet of cloud, Kookooburra's city. Celebrate the happy state O my muse in hymn'd.

[Pythateris]

What importation's this? Say who you are.

[Poet]

One who honey voiced song produces a holy menial of the muses. Such is the title.

[Pythateris]

Homer uses a slave are you yet keep your flowing hair.

[Poet]

No, but every one that song produces is a holy menial of the Muses. Such is the title Homer uses your

[Pythateris]

blouse too's wholly to your trade you owe it. But what the mischief brings you here, sir poet?

[Poet]

Fine odes I've made, and many to renown in song. Cloud, Kookaburra, your new town, Some Cyclian, others Parthenaean, others in style Simonidean.

[Pythateris]

When did you set about this song inditing?

[Poet]

Long in this city long have I been writing.

[Pythateris]

What haven't I held its name? Feast now you gabe. And called it for the first time like a baby.

[Poet]

By the muses tidings swift are carried swifter than the glancing force of the lightning footed horse Came the news, and never tarried. But, O sacred titled lord, founder and sire of Aetna's state, what thy bounty can afford, be it little, be it great, with a generous soul, incline to bestow on mine from thine.

[Pythateris]

This plaguy wretch will worry us, I see, if we don't shut his mouth up.

[Narrator]

With a fee to one of the slaves.

[Pythateris]

You've got a jerkin there. Come strip. Bestow it upon my very learned friend, the poet. There, Poet, take this jerkin for your mead. Your shivering plainly shows it what you need.

[Poet]

Glad the friendly muse receiveth what the gracious donor giveth. Yet expand your mental ear And a verse of Pindar here.

[Pythateris]

We shan't get quit of him just yet.

[Poet]

Tis clear in the nomad Scythian's plain wanders ever cold and lonely. Stratton with a jerkin only. Jerkin only. Tis notorious. Without tunic is inglorious. Duly comprehend the strain.

[Pythateris]

You want the tunic That I comprehend.

[Narrator]

To the slave.

[Pythateris]

Come, strip. One must assist a poet friend. There. Take it and be off I go yet stay.

[Poet]

This city must receive this parting. Lay seated on thy golden throne. Muse, prepare a noble ditty for the quivering shivering city. To the snow propelling zone. The many paths I hide away tralala lay.

[Pythateris]

But now the tunic's on your back, my friend. Of quivering and of shivering there's an end exit. Poet, I can't conceive how to this rascal went such early notice of our settlement. Boy, carry round again the laver so. Silence.

[Narrator]

Enter a soothsayer.

[Miton]

Commence not on the goat.

[Hoopoe]

Hello.

[Pythateris]

What's here?

[Miton]

A soothsayer.

[Pythateris]

Bad luck be thine.

[Miton]

Cast not contempt, great sir, on things divine. Here is an oracle of Bacchus. See, it fits clout Kookaburra perfectly.

[Pythateris]

Then ere I colonized this city, why came you not here and sang your prophecy?

[Miton]

The spirit hindered then.

[Pythateris]

Well, well, rehearse. There's no great harm in listening to your verse.

[Miton]

But when the wolves and hoary crows unite to build twixt Sicyon and great

[Pythateris]

Corinth's height, and with Corinthians, what concern have I?

[Miton]

This hint of Bacchus indicates the sky bid first in honor of Pandora bleed a white fleeced ram, and then as fitting meat for the first prophet, who my songs shall bear a goodly coat

[Pythateris]

and sandals new, prepare there in it too the sandals.

[Miton]

Take the book. And furthermore the prophecy commands to give a cup and fill with tripe his

[Pythateris]

hands, and giving tripe is in it.

[Miton]

Take the book. And if thou doest my bidding, reverend child, an eagle in the clouds shalt thou be styled. But if thou giv' st not, never shalt thou prove throstle or woodpecker, or turtle dove.

[Pythateris]

And is all this included?

[Miton]

Take the book.

[Pythateris]

Your oracle is not like this of mine, which I got copied from Apollo's shrine. But when some swindler uninvited there disturbs the sacrifice, and tripe would share, let well belabour'd ribs be all his fare.

[Miton]

I think you're talking nonsense.

[Pythateris]

Take the book. Nor spare e' en eagle in the clouds, though he or Lampon or great Deopithes be out vermin.

[Narrator]

Out beats him.

[Miton]

Alack, and well a day.

[Pythateris]

Get out and soothsay somewhere else. Away.

[Narrator]

Exit, soothsayer. Enter Miton.

[Inspector]

I'm come to join you.

[Pythateris]

Here's another pest. What are you come for? What's the ideal thought? What? The design, the boot of this your journey.

[Inspector]

I want to measure geometrically your atmosphere and map it out in acres.

[Pythateris]

And in heaven's name, who are you?

[Inspector]

Miton. I to Hellas and Colonus known.

[Pythateris]

And these, what are they?

[Inspector]

Rules for measuring the atmosphere, for instance. All the atmosphere in shape is like a stove, as near as can be. So when I my lineal fix and from above insert a pair of flexile compasses. You comprehend?

[Pythateris]

I do not comprehend.

[Inspector]

A straight rule I apply to measure with that. So your circle may become quadrangular, with market place I the middle. Whither lead straight roads converging to the very centre. And thus, as from a star being circular, straight rays may flash their light in all directions.

[Pythateris]

The man's a second Thales. Meton. Well, I'm your good friend, believe me. Take my counsel and move without disturbance. Out of the way.

[Inspector]

What danger is there?

[Pythateris]

As in Lacedaemon, aliens are banished, feelings are excited, and many stripes are stirring through the city.

[Inspector]

Is discord raging here?

[Pythateris]

No, not at all.

[Inspector]

What is the matter then?

[Pythateris]

In perfect concord we are resolved to kick out every humbug.

[Inspector]

I must be gone then?

[Pythateris]

Yes, I'm not quite sure you've time. Here are the stripes impending now beats him.

[Inspector]

Me miserable.

[Pythateris]

Didn't I give you warning? Remeasure yourself and be off elsewhere.

[Narrator]

Exit Miton. Enter an inspector.

[Parricide]

Where are the consuls?

[Pythateris]

Who's this dainty don?

[Parricide]

I'm an inspector. By the being elected to this cloud cuckoo burrow.

[Pythateris]

An inspector. Who sent you here?

[Parricide]

A certain trumpery warrant of Tellius.

[Pythateris]

Will you take your salary then? Not bore us, but begone?

[Parricide]

With all my heart. I wish to stay at home and sit in parliament. Some foreign business I have done with Pharnaces.

[Pythateris]

Take it and go then.

[Narrator]

Beats him.

[Pythateris]

That's your salary.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

What's this?

[Pythateris]

A sitting of the house on Pharnaces. I call you all to witness.

[Parricide]

I am beaten. I an inspector.

[Pythateris]

Shoo, shoo. Won't you scud and take your brace of ballot boxes with you?

[Narrator]

Exit, Inspector.

[Pythateris]

Now. Is not this a scandal to our city? Already they are sending out inspectors before our sacrifices are performed.

[Narrator]

Enter a plebiscite vendor.

[Hoopoe]

If any cloud cuckoo burgess. Wrong an Athenian.

[Pythateris]

What plague again is here? What manuscript vendor of plebiscites am I?

[Hoopoe]

New laws. I'm come amongst you here to sell.

[Pythateris]

Sell what?

[Hoopoe]

For cloud cuckoo burgesses, we decree that all the measures and weights shall be the same as those of Poland.

[Pythateris]

Yours soon shall be the same as those of Wooland.

[Narrator]

Beats him.

[Hoopoe]

Si. What do you mean?

[Pythateris]

Go take away your laws. I'll sharpen them for you to day those laws.

[Narrator]

Exit plebiscite vendor inspector from the side.

[Parricide]

I summon peithatiris for assault to appear at the April sessions without default.

[Pythateris]

Oh really? You're amongst us?

[Narrator]

Are you still plebiscite vendor from the side?

[Hoopoe]

If any shall drive out the magistrates and not receive them as the column states.

[Pythateris]

O cruel fate. And you're amongst us still.

[Parricide]

I'll ruin you in damages, I will. I'll lay them at 10,000 drachmas, sir.

[Pythateris]

I'll scatter to the winds your ballot boxes.

[Hoopoe]

Your insult to the column once at even. Remember that.

[Grainger Maintenance Engineer]

Faugh.

[Hoopoe]

Faugh.

[Pythateris]

Let someone seize him. Oh, you won't tarry, won't you? From this place? Let us as soon as possible go in and sacrifice unto the gods.

[Narrator]

The goat exeunt all but. Chorus End of Episode two. Episode 3 of the Birds by Aristophanes Translated by Benjamin Hall Kennedy this is a Librivox recording. All Librivox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Librivox.org Episode 3 Chorus Ode through

[Chorus]

the Coming Ages now with the sacrifice and vow Mortals shall to me be praying me the all seeing and all swaying me whose active sight extends to the earth's extremest ends. I preserve the blooming fruit slaying every noxious brute such as with rapacious jaw underground the rootlets gnaw such as lurking in the boughs on the budding fruitage browse I destroy the loathsome swarm that with foul pollution harmony all the garden's fragrant charm Biting creatures, creatures crawling bleed beneath my pinions Sprawling Eperima specially, however it is notified to day Melian Digoris if any of you slay your rewards, a talent and a talent for the head shall be paid of any of the tyrants that are dead also. We do thus declare our high and mighty will.

[Grainger Maintenance Engineer]

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[Herald]

Meet Keith Loving Dad Board game Champ

[Grainger Procurement Manager]

Bus Driving Pro I drive 65,000 miles

[Pythateris]

in my bus each year.

[Grainger Procurement Manager]

If people knew what I know, lives could be saved.

[Pythateris]

Like how there are some things I

[Grainger Procurement Manager]

simply can't see on my route.

[Pythateris]

The other day a car tried to

[Grainger Procurement Manager]

sneak past me and ends up right

[Pythateris]

in my blind spot.

[Grainger Procurement Manager]

I turn slowly so accident avoid it,

[Pythateris]

but no car should be in the blind spot for a 40,000 pound bus.

[Euelpides]

It's our roads, it's our safety.

[Pythateris]

Visit www.sharetheroadsafely.gov when you're a maintenance engineer

[Grainger Maintenance Engineer]

in a beverage manufacturing plant, you keep production lines moving and quality on track because there is no room for slowdowns. With Grainger's vast selection of high quality motors, sensors, belts and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place so nothing gets in the way of getting the job done. Call 1-800-granger clickranger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.

[Chorus]

Sparrow or Philocrates if any of you kill you will get a talent if alive. He's taken 440 strings and sells the finches at a groat a score, blows the field fares out and shows em with insulting grin to the nozzles of the blackbirds, Sticks the feathers in pigeons that he catches in his cages. All are set and must be decoy birds for him fastened in a net. Thus do we proclaim, and if by any of you men birds are kept in aviaries, Let them loose again. Our police shall seize you if this warning you defy, and in penal servitude decoying men you'll lie Ant toad, Happy are the feathered folk who in winter wear no cloak, and the summer does not burn us with its hot far flashing furnace, but in flowery meads I dwell, lingering oft in leafy dwell, when the inspired Cuchela's gladness swelling into sunny madness Filleth all the fervid noon with its shrill and ceaseless tune and throughout the winter day in some hollow cave I stay with the mountain nymphs at play. Myrtle berries, Spring bedew'd, White and tender are my food, and a thousand delicacies from the gardens of the graces Antiperima on the victory I wish a word or two to say how the judges all will gain by voting for our play Getting better gifts than those of Paris Far Away first for more than anything Each judge has this at heart. Never shall the laureotic owls from you depart, but shall in your houses dwell, and in your purses too nestle close, and hatch a brood of little coins. For you, furthermore, will let you live in temples, like the gods, and eagle fashion'd pinnacles adorning your abodes. If in some poor office placed to pilfering you incline, we will lend a small sharp hawk to favour your design. Craws too we will send you when you're going out to dine. But if you reject us, then let each a little shed forge, like loons or statues, as a shelter for his head, Lest without it, when you walk in clean and white attire, or all the birds their vengeance take by covering you with mire.

[Narrator]

Enter, Pytharus.

[Pythateris]

Our sacrifices birds are favourable. But from the works no messenger arrives to tell us how the business there goes on. Nay, here comes one at last. And running too, and panting in the true Alphaean style.

[Narrator]

Enter, first messenger.

[First Messenger]

Where, where is?

[Grainger Procurement Manager]

Where?

[First Messenger]

Where, where is? Where is he? The Archon Pytharus.

[Pythateris]

He is here.

[First Messenger]

Your wall is finished.

[Pythateris]

Thanks for your good tidings.

[First Messenger]

A very noble and magnificent structure. So vast the breadth is that upon the top proximities of Brahm and Theogenes could drive two passing chariots, clear with steeds big as the wooden one of old great Heracles. The height, I measured it myself, is just a hundred fathoms.

[Pythateris]

What a height. Poseidon, who built it up to such enormous size?

[First Messenger]

Birds. And no one else? No bricklayer of Egypt, no stone hewer was there no carpenter? With their own hands they did it to my marvel. There came from Libya 30,000 cranes, all having swallowed down foundation stones, which with their beaks the rail still aptly shaped. Another party of 10,000 storks were brickmakers, and water from below the plovers and the other wading birds were raising up into the higher air.

[Pythateris]

And who conveyed the mortar for them?

[First Messenger]

Herons, in the hods.

[Pythateris]

And how did they get in the mortar?

[First Messenger]

That was the cleverest device of all, sir. The geese with their web feet, as though with spades dipped down and laid it neatly on the hods.

[Pythateris]

What feet indeed, may not be wrought by feet.

[First Messenger]

Ay, and the ducks, by Jove, all tightly girt kept carrying bricks, and the other birds were flying with trowel on their heads to lay the bricks. And then, like children sucking lollipops, the swallows minced the mortar in their mouths.

[Pythateris]

Why should one hire paid laborers any more? Well, now, what next? Who were the birds? That wrought the woodwork of the fort

[First Messenger]

spilled carpenters, the yellow hammers. With their hammering beaks they finished off the gates. The noise they made in hammering was exactly like a shipyard. The fortress has its portals firmly fitted, supplied with bolts and bars, and guarded. Round the beats are paced, the bell is borne, the watch at every point established, and the beacons set on the towers. But I must run away and clean myself. Look you, sir, to the rest.

[Narrator]

Exit. First messenger, sir.

[Chorus]

What's the matter with you? Do you marvel the fortress has been finished with such speed?

[Pythateris]

Ay, by the gods. A wondrous work. It is. In very truth it looks to me like fiction. But wait a moment. Here's a messenger, one of the guards from thence, who's running to us with face as martial as a Pyrrhic dance. What ho. What ho. What ho. What ho. What ho. Well, what's the matter?

[Runner Bird]

Very shameful treatment. One of those gods from Zeus place just now flew through our gates into the atmosphere, all unobserved of our day. Scouts the jays.

[Pythateris]

O shameful deed. And unendurable.

[Runner Bird]

Which of the gods we know not. Wings it had. We know.

[Pythateris]

Your course then surely was to launch some yeomanry upon its track.

[Runner Bird]

We did. Our mounted archers, 30,000 hawks we sent, all riding with their claws a crook falcon and buzzard, vulture, nightjar, eagle, hark. With the rush and whirring of their wings. All ether shudders as they seek the God far off. It cannot be. Indeed, I think tis here already.

[Pythateris]

Must we not get slings and bows and arrows? Henchmen all. Look out. Shoot, smite. Supply me some one with a sling.

[Narrator]

Exit Piethaterus with second messenger.

[Chorus]

War is rising. War surprising war between the gods and me.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

So let every watchbird see that this

[Chorus]

the child of Erebus, our cloud encircled atmosphere be guarded strictly far and near, Lest any God should pass unseen of us.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

Look out, look out. Each careful scout around about.

[Chorus]

Some demon's whirling through the lofty sky.

[Pythateris (alternate)]

E' en now the winged sound approaches.

[Narrator]

Nigh Iris appears flying across the scene. Pieth Eteris re entering.

[Pythateris]

Ho. Madam, whither, whither, whither? Flying. Stay quiet there. Be still. Restrain your course. Who and what are you? Whence arrived?

[Inspector]

Declare I'm from the realm of the olympian gods.

[Pythateris]

And what are we to call you? Bark or bonnet? Swift Iris, Perilous or Salamynia?

[Inspector]

What means this?

[Pythateris]

Won't some buzzard soar and seize her?

[Inspector]

Seize me? What mischief's here?

[Pythateris]

We'll make you smart.

[Inspector]

All this is monstrous folly.

[Pythateris]

By what Gate. Came you within the fort, you shameless jaden.

[Inspector]

I have no notion really by what

[Pythateris]

gate you hear how she prevaricates. Did you appear before the jade chiefs? Won't you answer? Have you a passport from the storks?

[Inspector]

What stuff's this you've got?

[Pythateris]

None.

[Inspector]

Are you sane?

[Pythateris]

Did no bird captain attend and set a label on your person?

[Inspector]

None. Set a label on my person? Wretch.

[Pythateris]

And would you with such silent secrecy fly through a foreign city and through chaos?

[Inspector]

And by what other road are gods to fly?

[Pythateris]

I have no notion, really. Not by this you're guilty. Let me tell you, long ere now you ought to have been seized and put to death. No iris in the world with greater justice, if you'd got your deserts.

[Inspector]

But I'm immortal.

[Pythateris]

You should have died in spite of that. Our case will be a cruel one, methinks. If, whilst we're ruling all the rest, you gods alone take every kind of license. Not yet knowing that you in your turn must obey your betters. But tell me, whither do you steer your wings?

[Inspector]

What I. I'm flying on my father's errand, to bid men offer to the Olympian gods. And on their bullocks sacrificing hearths to slaughter sheep and fill the streets with savour.

[Pythateris]

What's this you're saying? Offer'd to what gods?

[Inspector]

What gods? To us, the gods that are in heaven.

[Pythateris]

Are you then gods?

[Inspector]

What other gods exist?

[Pythateris]

Birds unto men are gods to them must men now sacrifice? And not by Jove. To Jove.

[Inspector]

O fool.

[Priest]

Fool.

[Inspector]

Anger not the hearts of gods, but fear lest justice with the spade of Zeus thy race in utter ruin overthrow the torch, thy body and thy circling domes reduce to cinders with Lycmnean bolts.

[Pythateris]

Hark ye, my lady. Cease your shrewish rant. Be still with words like these. I wish to know Lydian or Phrygian. Do you think to scare? If Zeus disturb us longer, mark me well. His palace and Amphion's domes will I reduce to cinders with fire carrying eagles and warring on him. I'll dispatch to heaven Magogian birds in pard skin uniforms above 600 by the tail. And once he found a single Magog. Troublesome. And Mistress Iris, if you show your airs, you'll not get off scot free. Return again to give us further trouble, and you'll find my harem has a vacant place for you.

[Inspector]

Perdition. Seize, you wretch, with your vile language.

[Poseidon]

Shoo. Shoo.

[Pythateris]

Be off. And suddenly. Quick march.

[Inspector]

My sire. Will quell your insolence, I swear.

[Pythateris]

Dear, dear. How very sad. Come, fly away, fly. And reduce to cinders some small child.

[Narrator]

Exit Iris.

[Chorus]

We're excluding all intruding of the Jove descended gods through our fortified abodes. Never may they travel more, Nor by this road to gods again shall savour rise a victim slain on any mortal sacrificial floor.

[Pythateris]

Too bad that herald who was sent to mortals. It seems as if he never would return.

[Narrator]

Enter, herald.

[Herald]

O pey thetiris. O thou blest, Thou wisest. O thou thrice blest and noblest. O thou smoothest. Call silence. O call silence.

[Pythateris]

What's your news?

[Herald]

All people crown you with this golden crown for your sagacious tact and honour you thanks.

[Pythateris]

Why am I thus honour'd of the people?

[Herald]

O founder of a most illustrious ethereal city. Are you not aware what honour you have won in men's esteem? How many are enamoured of this land? Until this city was established by you, all men had been lacedomaniacs. They wore long hair, they fasted, they went dirty like Socrates, they carried skyl staves. But now converted, they've become bird maniacs. And in this new delight do everything that's done by birds in mimicry of them. First, when they wake at early morn, they'll fly together all to pasture like ourselves, and then they'll settle down upon the books, and there continue feeding on decrees. So manifestly bird mad are they, that to many men are given the names of birds. One limping shopkeeper they call a partridge. Menippus is a swallow, and Opuntius an eyeless raven, Philocles a lark, Theogenes, full Panser and Lycurgus is termed an Ibis Chaerephon, a bat, a magpie, Syracosius, Maedaeus, A quail they call, for he is like a quail with a quail spider wounded in the head. And all from bird delight are singing ballads. In which is any mention of a swallow, of widgeon, goose, or wood pigeon, or wings, or even a slight suspicion of a feather. Such tidings from that world. But one thing learn. 10,000 men or more will come to you from thence, desiring wings and crook clawed fashions. So wings you must find somewhere for the comers.

[Pythateris]

Faith, then our business won't be standing

[Narrator]

still to a slave.

[Pythateris]

You there, set off with speed, and fill the hampers and every basket you can find with wings. Let manes carry to me out of doors those wings, and I'll receive the visitors.

[Chorus]

Ere long will human beings all this place the many peopled call if fortune smile, the coming age will see my city quite the rage.

[Pythateris]

Why don't the wings come quicker out?

[Chorus]

All this beautiful and good will not every sojourner find in ample measure here wisdom, love, ambrosial graces, and happiest of happy faces the gentle minded quietude.

[Narrator]

Pythatarus 2 Mannas this is idle work, my master.

[Pythateris]

Stir your stumps a little faster.

[Grainger Maintenance Engineer]

When you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant, you keep production lines moving and quality on track because there is no room for slowdowns. With Grainger's vast selection of high quality motors, sensors, belts and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place, so nothing gets in the way of getting the job done. Call 1-800-GRAINGER Click grainger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.

[Narrator]

Chorus 2 Manas a pannier here of wings. Be quick to Piethaterus.

[Chorus]

I hope you will not spare the stick. Your blows like us, sir, on him shower no donkey in the world is slower.

[Pythateris]

Yes, Manes is a fearful lout.

[Chorus]

First these wings within your reach, Musical, prophetical, maritime, assort them all. Next, observe the coming faces, and weighing well their various cases, assign the proper plumes to each.

[Narrator]

Pythatarus two manas.

[Pythateris]

You'll catch it smartly by the falcons soon. If still I find you such a

[Narrator]

lazy loon, enter a would be parricide.

[Parricide]

A high flying eagle I would be to fly o' er the surge of the barren blue sea.

[Pythateris]

Our herald's tale seems likely to be true. Here comes a fellow singing about eagles. Ho ho.

[Parricide]

There's nothing half so sweet as flying. I'm quite enamoured of the laws of birds. I've the bird mania. Yes, to fly I wish and dwell with you, and I desire your laws.

[Pythateris]

What laws do you mean? For birds have many laws, all chiefly

[Parricide]

that it's held a law of honour in birds to strangle and to peck their fathers.

[Pythateris]

Ay, and in fact one, when a young cock stands up and spurs his sire, we hold him very manly.

[Parricide]

Therefore I migrate hither and desire to choke my father and possess his fortune.

[Pythateris]

Yes, but we birds have got an ancient law kept in the record office of the storks, that when the parent stork has reared his brood and turned them out all capable of flying, the storklings in their turn must feed their sire.

[Parricide]

Much good then had I got from coming here, if I must e' en be made to feed my father.

[Pythateris]

No, not at all. For since you came, poor wretch, with friendly feelings to us, I'll contrive to fit you as an orphan bird with wings. But take this hint, young fellow, not a bad one, which I got in my boyhood. Don't go back and beat your father, but receive this wing, and in the one hand, and the spur in the other. And wear this crest as twere a cock's. Then go serve both in garrison and in the field, for soldiers pay, so let your father live. And since your tastes are warlike Thraceward, fly and fight your fill there.

[Parricide]

Ay, by Dionysus, I deem your counsel good, and I'll obey your bidding.

[Pythateris]

Tis a wise resolve, by Jove.

[Narrator]

Exit parricide, enter Kinesius.

[Hoopoe]

Lightly with my wings I fly. Two Olympian seats on high Fly to every varied strain in the lyrical domain.

[Pythateris]

This creature's wanting a shipload of feathers

[Hoopoe]

with a mind's eye void of fear, Visiting the people here.

[Pythateris]

Cinesius, the linden man, all hail. Why, limpest hither, lithely, lame of leg,

[Hoopoe]

let me be made a bird. I beg a melodious nightingale a truce to lyrics.

[Pythateris]

Tell me what you want.

[Hoopoe]

I would be winged by you and fly aloft and from the clouds obtain some preludes new of air, elate and snow, propelling nature.

[Pythateris]

What can a man get? Preludes from the clouds?

[Hoopoe]

Yes, upon these alone our art depends. All brilliant dithyrambs are airy things, dark dimly lighted wing rats. Only listen, and you will quickly know.

[Pythateris]

Indeed I won't.

[Hoopoe]

Ah, but you shall, I vow by Heracles. For I will traverse all your atmosphere and sing ye shades of flying ones. Sky floating, neck stretching birds, I'll stop your boating wand' ring on the seaward track. Let me ride the windy wrack.

[Pythateris]

I'll take the wind out of your sails. I will.

[Hoopoe]

Now to the southern side, Careering now to the north, My body veering ever cleaving as I fly. Harbourless flower furrows of the sky. Pretty and clever is your craft, old sire.

[Narrator]

Piithaterus beats him with the wings there.

[Pythateris]

Don't you find it pleasant to be wing wrapped?

[Hoopoe]

Is this the way you treat the Cyclian teacher, me, whom the rival tribes each year contend for?

[Pythateris]

Well, won't you stay with us awhile and teach for Bursa, Leotrophides a chorus of flying birds belonging to the rail tribe?

[Hoopoe]

You're laughing at me. That I plainly see. But I will never rest be sure of this till I've Got wings and scudded through the air.

[Narrator]

Exit Kinesius. Enter an informer.

[Informer]

Hither. As I track, I follow. Certain birds appear in view. Dapple, winged without a sow. O pinion, stretching dappled swallow.

[Pythateris]

This newly wakened pest is not a light one. Here comes another fellow, trilling airs.

[Informer]

O pinion, stretching dappled one.

[Pythateris]

Da capo, methinks upon his cloak he sings the catch. He seems to want no small amount of swallows.

[Informer]

Ois supplies the visitors with wings.

[Pythateris]

Your humble servant. What are your commands?

[Informer]

Wings. Wings I want. You need not ask me twice.

[Pythateris]

Direct to Woolston. Do you mean to fly?

[Informer]

No, but an island summoner am I. And an informer.

[Pythateris]

What a blessed trade.

[Informer]

Ay, and a suit promoter. So I want a suit of wings to fly about my circuit and scare the cities with my writs of summons.

[Pythateris]

With wings you'll summon then more cleverly?

[Informer]

No. But to save annoyance from the pirates, I'll travel back in the Crane caravan with many lawsuits swallowed down for ballast.

[Pythateris]

So that's your business. Yours? A strong young man to bring vexatious charges against foreigners.

[Informer]

What can I do? I never learn'd to dig.

[Pythateris]

But surely there are other decent trades in which a full grown man might get his bread by doing rather than perverting justice.

[Informer]

Correct me not, but wing me, noble sir, I do by speaking winged by speech. How so?

[Pythateris]

All men are winged by speeches.

[Informer]

All men?

[Pythateris]

Yes. Have you not often heard when to their friends in barbers shops, the fathers thus discourse. Too bad Dietrephes has winged with talk that lad of mine to drive his curricle. Another says his boy is all a wing for tragedy, and fluttered in his mind.

[Informer]

So then by speeches they are winged?

[Pythateris]

They are. By speeches intellect is elevated and the man raised aloft. And so would I wing you with honest words and turn you to a lawful trade.

[Informer]

But I will not be turned.

[Pythateris]

What will you do then?

[Informer]

Not disgrace my kindred informings my ancestral occupation. So fit me with some light and rapid wings, falcons or hawks, that I may serve my writs on foreigners, then plead against them here, then fly back there again.

[Pythateris]

I catch your meaning. Tis this, that ere the foreigner arrives, he may be cast in damages.

[Informer]

Exactly.

[Pythateris]

And while he's sailing hither off, you fly to foreign parts and seize his goods.

[Informer]

You've hit it. A top's the very thing to be.

[Pythateris]

A top. I comprehend. And by the powers I've got, these capital wings of Corcoran make woe's me.

[Informer]

You've got a whip?

[Pythateris]

No, no. Two wings with which I mean this day to set you spinning whips him.

[Informer]

Alas. Alas.

[Pythateris]

Come, wing your way from hence and trickle off, abominable hangdog, your justice. Twisting tricks shall cost you dear. Exit Informer now let us gather up the wings and go.

[Narrator]

Exit Pythrus with slaves. End of Episode three. Episodes 4, 5 and Exodus of the Birds by Aristophanes Translated by Benjamin Hall Kennedy this is a Librivox recording. All Librivox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit Librivox.org Episode 4 Chorus Many wondrous

[Chorus]

things and new come before my gliding view Many very startling sights we have noticed in our flights from the common road apart at some distance beyond heart stands a tree beheld by us, and its name Cleonyonymous fearful tis and tall to see yet a good for nothing tree. In the springtime, when it grows, many a load of figs it shows but in winter on the fields its branches shed not leaves but shields. There's a region far away where our pinions seldom stray. Unto night lands borders near in no night lands desert rear There the children of mankind often have with heroes din'd and with heroes can abide only not at eventide at that season Twould not be safe to keep their company, if at night mortal wight doth upon Orestes light hero bold, he's stripp'd by him and smitten in each noble limb.

[Narrator]

Enter Prometheus, disguised and under a sunshade.

[Prometheus]

Me miserable mine Zeus, see me not.

[Narrator]

Ispathetace Harrison Piethaterus re entering.

[Pythateris]

Hello, who is here? What raps are these?

[Prometheus]

Ye spy some God behind me.

[Pythateris]

Not I, upon my honour. Who are you?

[Prometheus]

Inform me then, what time o day it is.

[Pythateris]

What time o day? The early afternoon. But who are you?

[Prometheus]

Towards 4 o' clock or later.

[Pythateris]

Your folly sickens me.

[Prometheus]

What's Zeus about? Clearing the clouds off or collecting them?

[Pythateris]

A mischief to you?

[Narrator]

Well then, I'll unveil throws off his disguise.

[Pythateris]

Prometheus, my dear friend.

[Prometheus]

Stop, stop. Don't shout.

[Pythateris]

Why not?

[Prometheus]

Be quiet. Don't call out my name. I'm lost forever if Zeus view me here. But while I'm telling you the news from heaven, just take the sunshade, will you? Hold it up above my head, that so the gods may see me.

[Pythateris]

Bravissimo. A good device indeed, of true Promethean fancy. Come, be quick, step under, and then speak without alarm.

[Prometheus]

Now listen with attention.

[Pythateris]

Speak. I listen well.

[Prometheus]

Zeus is ruin'd. Can you date his ruin from your first atmospheric settlement. No man from that time offers anything to gods. No savor comes to us on high from legs of mutton mulleted of our victims. We fast as in the Thesamophorian days, and wild with hunger. The barbarian gods all screeching like Illyrians, fiercely say they'll march their armies from above on Zeus, unless he'll open all the ports that tripe and sausages may enter duty free.

[Pythateris]

How are there other and barbarian gods above yourselves?

[Prometheus]

What are they but barbarians? Whence Exacestidius obtains his sire God?

[Pythateris]

And these barbarian gods, what is their name?

[Prometheus]

Their name Tribali.

[Pythateris]

Oh, I understand. That means to say they are a tribe allied.

[Prometheus]

Just so. But let me state one certain fact. From Zeus and those triballians up above. Envoys are coming here to treat for peace. But don't conclude on any terms but these that Zeus restore the scepter to the birds and give you royalty to be your bride.

[Pythateris]

Who is this royalty?

[Prometheus]

A lovely maid who has the charge of Zeus lightning closet and all his other stores, his maxim sage, his wholesome laws, his temperance, his dockyards, his slang, his paymaster, his sixpences.

[Pythateris]

Why then she keeps his all, she really does.

[Prometheus]

And when you've got her from him, you've got all. Twas for that reason that I came to tell you I've always been a zealous friend to men.

[Pythateris]

True, you're the only God through whom we grill.

[Prometheus]

And all the gods you're well aware I hate.

[Pythateris]

Yes, this cleaves to you ever hate of gods?

[Prometheus]

A genuine timon. But I must run back. So hand me here the sunshade that if Zeus from upper realms behold me, I may seem to follow in due form the basket bearer There.

[Pythateris]

Take this camp stool also for your purpose.

[Narrator]

Exit Prometheus.

[Chorus]

Near the shadow feet are certain shoals where the dirty Socrates charms souls the spirit that left his living frame to gaze at. There Pyassander came camel lamb as victim carried cut its throat and near it tarried as Odysseus did of old. Suddenly, from beneath the mould of the camel's blood to sup he saw Sheriffan the bat come up.

[Narrator]

Episode 5 part of the ramparts of Cloud Kookaburra an alcove in the scene as a kitchen where Pythateris is engaged with slaves cooking. Enter Poseidon, Heracles and Tribalus.

[Poseidon]

This is the fortress of Cloud Kookaburra within our view, to which we have

[Narrator]

sent his invoice to the Tribellian God.

[Poseidon]

What's that you're doing there? Pulling your cloak to the left side in that ungainly style. Put it round and draw it, can't you? To the right. Clumsy being you are. Born. Lies, Podius. What will you bring us to democracy? If the gods choose a deputy like

[Narrator]

this to the Trebilian again.

[Poseidon]

Be still, you plague. Of all the gods I've seen, you're the one most barbarous by far. Well, Heracles, what's to be done?

[Miton]

You've heard I want to strangle him outright. The man whoe' er he is that's walling out the gods.

[Poseidon]

Nay, sir, but our instructions are to treat for peace.

[Miton]

So much the more I vote for strangling.

[Pythateris]

Hand the cheese, Graper. Somebody fetch silphium. Bring cheese and heat the coals within the grate.

[Poseidon]

We bid the gentlemen good day. We gods. Three in commission.

[Pythateris]

Now then, scrape the silphium.

[Miton]

What meat is this? Your dressing.

[Pythateris]

Certain birds against the democratic birds arose and suffered condemnation for high treason.

[Miton]

So then you first scrape silphium on them, do you?

[Pythateris]

Ah, Heracles, Good morning. What's your pleasure?

[Poseidon]

We are come as envoys from the gods to treat about a termination of the war.

[Pythateris]

There's not a drop of oil within

[Miton]

the cruise, and yet your volay wants a nice rich sauce.

[Poseidon]

We for our part gain nothing by the war, and you, by being friendly with the gods, would have rain water in your tanks at once and live without cessation. Halcyon days. On all these points we bring full powers to treat.

[Pythateris]

Well, we were not the first in former time to war with you. And now, if so resolved, and if at last you're willing to do justice, we'll come to terms. Our just demand is that Zeus restore the sceptre to us birds. And if we settle things on this condition, I shall invite the embassy to luncheon.

[Miton]

I'm quite content with this and give my vote.

[Poseidon]

For what? You madman. You're a silly glutton. You'll rob your father of his royal sway.

[Pythateris]

So so. And won't you gods be stronger far if birds command below, for mortals now concealed beneath the clouds, hang down their heads and call on you to witness perjuries. But if you have the birds for your allies, when by the raven and by Zeus, a man shall swear and break his plight, the raven then approaching unperceived, shall pounce on him and strike his eye out with a single blow.

[Poseidon]

Ay, by Poseidon. This at least is well said.

[Miton]

I think so.

[Narrator]

Poseidon, to the trebilion.

[Poseidon]

What do you say?

[Priest]

The bites are true.

[Pythateris]

You see? He gives assent. Hear furthermore, how great a service we've in store for you. If any man shall vow to any God a sacrifice, and then with artful quibbles excuse himself and say the gods can wait, declining from mere stinginess to pay this also we'll exact.

[Poseidon]

How so? Let's see.

[Pythateris]

When the man's counting out a petty sum, or sitting in his bath, a kite shall swoop unnoticed, clutch the coins and carry up the value of two sheep unto the God I vote for

[Miton]

giving back the sceptre to them.

[Poseidon]

Ask the Troubalian next.

[Miton]

Do you, Trebellion, consent to a sound whipping?

[Priest]

Metaker.

[Miton]

My proposal's good.

[Poseidon]

He says if you both vote so, then I vote with you, sir.

[Miton]

We concede this point about the sceptre.

[Pythateris]

Ay, but there's one thing more which I forgot. Hera. Indeed. I yield to Zeus. But he must give the princess royalty to me in lawful wedlock.

[Poseidon]

Peace is not your object. Let us go home again.

[Pythateris]

Little I care cook, mind you, make the sauce sweet, my good man.

[Miton]

Poseidon, whither are you rushing off? Are we to go to war about one woman?

[Poseidon]

What must we do then?

[Miton]

Come to terms, of course.

[Poseidon]

Poor wretch, you know not that you're being duped. You harm yourself. Moreover, if Zeus die after the kingdom has been given to these, you will be poor for all the money's yours that Zeus will leave behind him at his death.

[Pythateris]

Oh dear, oh dear. How sadly he deceives you. Come here aside and have a word with me. Your uncle sets you wrong, unhappy sir. Not one hair's breadth of all your father's goods is yours. By law you're illegitimate.

[Poet]

I?

[Miton]

Illegitimate? What can you mean?

[Pythateris]

You are, by Zeus, a foreign woman's child. Or how do you think Athena could be heiress, a daughter, had she lawful brothers living?

[Miton]

Well. But suppose my sire give me the money after his death by special codicil as to a spurious son, the law forbids him.

[Pythateris]

Why, this Poseidon, who's now cramming you will be the first to claim your father's money, saying that he himself is lawful brother. I'll now recite to you the law of Solon. A bastard shall have no inheritance while lawful children are alive. And if there are no lawful children? Then the next of kin shall share the property between them.

[Miton]

So then I've no claim to my father's money?

[Pythateris]

No, none, by Zeus. Just tell me, did your father at any time present you to his Wardsman?

[Miton]

Me? Never. I'd been wondering at it long.

[Pythateris]

Why stare up at the sky with looks like cudgels? Stand on our side and I'll create you king. I'll give you bird's milk to your heart's content.

[Miton]

Again. What you propose, I think is just about the maiden and I yield her to you.

[Narrator]

Piethaterus to Poseidon.

[Pythateris]

And what say you?

[Poseidon]

I vote the other way.

[Pythateris]

All rests with the triballian to the tribalian. What say you?

[Priest]

The pretty girlie Biggie Rollbackee? A birdie yield a me.

[Miton]

He says he yields.

[Poseidon]

No, no, he does not really say he yields, but only twitters as the swallows do.

[Pythateris]

Why then he says he yields her to the swallows.

[Poseidon]

Well, draw your clauses and arrange between you. For since you're both agreed, I'll say no more.

[Miton]

Our vote is to admit all your conditions. But come with us to heaven yourself. There take the princess royalty and all

[Pythateris]

her chouso in seasonable time. Then for the wedding. These birds were slaughter'd.

[Miton]

Will you let me stay, meantime? And roast this meat while you depart?

[Poseidon]

You roast the meat much? Tasting's what you mean. Come on with us.

[Miton]

I should have been in clover.

[Pythateris]

Let someone get me out. A wedding mantle.

[Narrator]

Exeunt Pieteris and the Three Gods Exodus

[Chorus]

in the peachings on the water glass side Rascally tongue bellied tribes abide, who with their tongues both reap and sow, and grapes and figs in plenty grow. These are of barbarian races. Philips all and Gorgiesses hence arose accustomed new to those tongue bellied Philips do Attic usage everywhere cuts the tongue for a separate share.

[Narrator]

Enter third messenger. O ye of every countless good possess'd O flying race of birds supremely blest receive the monarch in his prosperous home. He comes, he comes. Like him in gold bright dome never dawned to view the full orbed glittering star. No beamy splendor of the sun from far shone forth so glorious as the queenly bride of untold beauty Moving by his side, flashing the winged Levin bolt of Jove he comes while soars to vaulted skies above ascent unutterable beauteous sight and incense breezes coil A smoky light himself appears the goddess Muse to day behoves from holy lips to pour the auspicious lay Piethaterus and Basilea descend in a flying car While the chorus sings

[Chorus]

room for the company Cheerily merrily flutter around him, Wishing him joy of the joy that has crowned him. O bliss. O bliss. What bloom of youth, what beauty this to the city of thy sway. Happy is thy Marriage day. Great fortune for the birds is stored, Yea, great, through this victorious lord. So with Hymen's songs of glee and bridal carols, welcome ye him and his partner royalty. When the goddess fates allied to Hera, his Olympian bride, him the high and heavenly one, him who held the exalted throne, they sang the song of Hymen, Hymenaeus golden winged the bloomy love, his chariot lightly reigning grove with his present power to bless Jove's and Hera's happiness. And sang the song of Hymen, Hymenaeus.

[Pythateris]

Your Laz, they are sprightful, your music delightful. Your language is striking and quite to my liking.

[Chorus]

Stay yet a little while and sing. The earth descending crashes the fiery gleaming flashes the terrible white bolt of Zeus the king. O the mighty golden blaze of lightning. O the flamy spear of Zeus immortal. O the hoarsely echoed peals of thunder Swelling all the cloudy vault from under and the rush of rain from heaven's high portal. Now with these our chief the earth is frightening. All the power of Job he comes possessing royalty, who in glory splendid on the ancient throne of Zeus attended He brings by his side in stately pride, his queen, his bride, his blessing, Sing we the song of Hymen, Hymenaeus.

[Pythateris]

Haste ye the wedding hour to grace all my mates of feather'd Race up to the hall of Jove Ascend there the bridal couch attend. Reach me thy hand, O blessed one. Our procession is begun and as thy floating form I stay, Grasp my pinions

[Narrator]

and away the procession goes forth amidst jubilant music.

[Chorus]

Tara lala la la la Waft the conqueror waft on high Thrilling lyre and

[Pythateris (alternate)]

paean cry Tara la la la la la Hail to Thee all hail to

[Chorus]

Thee, our supremest deity.

[Narrator]

End of episodes 4, 5 and exodus of the Birds End of the Birds by Aristophanes Translated by Benjamin Hall Kennedy.