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Mayim Bialik
Foreign. Bialik.
Jonathan Cohen
I'm Jonathan Cohen and welcome to part
Mayim Bialik
two of our conversation with Anita Moorjani.
Jonathan Cohen
This next section gets real. It's unimaginable some of the details that she describes.
Mayim Bialik
Next, if you haven't heard part one, please do. Anita Moorjani was diagnosed with cancer, had a four year battle with cancer. She was at stage four terminal diagnosis. Her organs failed, she was less than 90 pounds, was given hours to live and she all of a sudden found herself no longer in her physical body. Her consciousness had left her body and she was experiencing things that were happening outside of the room that her body was even in, which are documented. In addition, it was revealed to her in her near death experience why she got cancer, what she was supposed to learn from the experience and. And how she knew that she actually could heal. We left off part one when she literally was floating in this space experiencing unconditional love. We didn't know how she was going to get back into her body, but she does. And part two will explore everything that happened to her from the moment she opened her eyes to being released from the hospital, the doctors being unable to isolate where her cancer had gone and. And also what she ultimately learned from her near death experience and what she can impart to all of us. This is part two of our conversation with the author of Dying to Be Me, Anita Moorjani. Break it down. So what you're describing is a place that I would never want to leave.
Anita Moorjani
Yes.
Mayim Bialik
But the reason that you eventually returned your consciousness to your body is because you were told something very specific by this power that you were experiencing about what was going to happen to you. This to me is like, it's the most unreal part of this story. What were you told about what would happen if you went back?
Anita Moorjani
So I was told that my purpose hadn't been completed yet and I still had some things to do. I had some things to experience. So at first, as I said, I really didn't want to come back because I reached this point that was like I was given the choice whether to come back or not. And no part of me wanted to come back, but it was like I was being coaxed to come back. Not forced, but gently nudged. And that's when I was told, now that you know the truth of who you really are, you, your body will heal very quickly.
Mayim Bialik
Anita, this sounds crazy.
Anita Moorjani
I know.
Mayim Bialik
You had stage 4B terminal cancer.
Anita Moorjani
Yeah.
Mayim Bialik
I don't care what you're experiencing. How did you believe that you could heal from that? After being able to see that you were in a coma and you had nothing else physiologically to support yourself with.
Anita Moorjani
It was, you know, just being in that state. It was like a realization. It's like. It's like waking up. It really was like waking up. It's like, oh, my gosh. And literally the message was, now that you know the truth of who you really are and every part of me, like, I wanted to know, do I have to do anything? No, just live your life fearlessly. That's it.
Mayim Bialik
I mean, we have to take a pause here, because I believe you, first of all. I believe you. I'm into it. But, you know, of all the NDEs that I've learned about, and we've had Jeffrey Young on, we've had a lot of the people that you have gotten to interact with, and we've spoken to so many people. I don't know that I've heard, you know, such a dramatic promise coming from the awareness of consciousness that you experienced.
Jonathan Cohen
Also, a lot of people get told it's time to go back, and then they fight it, right? They're like, I really like it here. I don't want to go back. Did you have a push and pull? It doesn't sound like you needed a signing bonus to return.
Anita Moorjani
There was a little bit of a push and pull, but the next piece of the message was that my husband Danny. It's your husband Danny's and your purpose is linked. If you don't go back, he can't complete his purpose either.
Mayim Bialik
Danny.
Anita Moorjani
I know, right?
Mayim Bialik
Danny. Gotta come back for Danny.
Anita Moorjani
So. So that's when I decided to come back.
Jonathan Cohen
It wasn't like, you're going because we've heard other people say, I want to stay here. And they're like, nope, you're going back for you. You had a choice.
Anita Moorjani
I had a choice, but I was being encouraged to come back. It was like I had suffered enough. And now. And there was a lot I had learned from the suffering. Now was the time to put it into practice.
Mayim Bialik
Just by being your magnificent self. It's that, right? I mean, that was the equation.
Anita Moorjani
That was the equation.
Mayim Bialik
What is the moment of choice? And what does it practically look like when your soul is returned to your body?
Anita Moorjani
So even before I made the choice to come back, I was shown some scenes of. It was like I was made aware of some scenes of my future, which seemed really unrealistic to me.
Mayim Bialik
Were you sitting here with us?
Anita Moorjani
I know, right? I saw you in my nde, so
Mayim Bialik
I had a nickel for every time I heard that. Anita
Anita Moorjani
and I'm so glad I wrote about it back then in 2006. It's on Jeffrey Long's website that I wrote about it then because it really did pan out because the scenes were of me speaking to large audiences. Now, me at that time, I've never been a speaker, never been an author. I've always been someone who was quite shy, people pleaser. I am the last person to be standing on stage speaking to hundreds, thousands of people.
Mayim Bialik
What else did you see?
Anita Moorjani
I saw I was going to be touching people, but I didn't know. I had no clue what I was going to be talking to people about. I saw myself fully healthy. I saw myself traveling the world, which had always been my dream. Like, having a lot of freedom and my husband Danny and I being together, doing a lot of things together, but I still didn't know what my purpose was. In other words, I didn't know what am I talking about when I'm on stage? What am I traveling the world for? What am I doing? I did not know. And the message was, it'll unfold as long as you just be yourself fearlessly. That's it. That's all I needed to know.
Mayim Bialik
Okay, so how did we get back into our body?
Anita Moorjani
So then when I made. I thought, okay, I'll go back into my body.
Jonathan Cohen
Was there a contract? When you say, okay, does it just, like, miraculously happen? Do. You were like, okay, you have five more minutes. Soak it up. Like, what's the. What's. I'm just interested in the technical aspect of what happens there.
Anita Moorjani
So time isn't linear, which is. So when I share the story back, I mean, I always have to put it into a sequence. But it was like, whatever I put my attention on, that's what was going on. And so what it feels like, looking at it now is that as soon as I decided, okay, I will go back. Because I have all this cool stuff, this exciting stuff waiting for me. And it felt like the minute I made that decision, my physical eyes started to open on my body, but I wasn't altogether in my body yet. My physical eyes were opening, but I was still groggy. I was partly there, I was partly here, and my family were around me. And they were surprised. They said, oh, wow, she's opening her eyes. And I could see them, but I was really groggy. And my brother was there. He'd made it from India. And then I just started to say, dad is here. I started to say things like that. And then I started to say, I'm Going to be fine. It's not my time. I'm not going to die. I'm going to be fine. So my family were wondering, what's going on? What did she experience? They called the doctor, and this doctor had only come on duty that morning. I had never seen. Yeah, I had never seen him before I went in the coma in my life, but he had come in, and he had taken fluid out of my lungs that morning.
Mayim Bialik
So you had experienced him. Not before the coma?
Anita Moorjani
No.
Mayim Bialik
You experienced seeing him when you were in the coma, and then this is the dude that comes in?
Anita Moorjani
Yes, this is the dude. The same guy that was on. Still on duty.
Mayim Bialik
And you said to him, you're the one?
Anita Moorjani
Yeah, I said, Good afternoon, Dr. Chan. He goes, how do you know my name? And I said, aren't you the one that took fluid out of my lungs this morning? And he said, you couldn't possibly know that you were in a coma.
Mayim Bialik
Well, Dr. Chen, the world's not the way you think it is. They didn't teach you this in med school?
Anita Moorjani
Yes. So he couldn't. He didn't know what to make of it. He tried to shake it off. And then he said. He then said to my family, she's still critical. Don't get your hopes up. Sometimes people go in and out of.
Mayim Bialik
You're like, bitches, I'm back. Love it. You are trilingual, correct?
Anita Moorjani
Yes. Because you spoke Cantonese.
Mayim Bialik
Cantonese because you were from Hong Kong?
Anita Moorjani
Yes.
Mayim Bialik
You spoke English because of your school.
Anita Moorjani
Yes.
Mayim Bialik
And what did you speak with your family?
Anita Moorjani
It's Sindhi, which is a dialect. An Indian dialect.
Mayim Bialik
What language did all of this happen in?
Anita Moorjani
It actually happened in English because I. Because of my British education, I tend to read and write in English.
Mayim Bialik
So the cognitive aspects of the. Obviously, there was so much sensory experience that wasn't. That didn't have a language. Love does not have a language. But that's fascinating. Okay, sorry, go back. We're in our body. Eyes are open. Dr. Chan is losing his mind.
Anita Moorjani
Yes, he was really losing his mind.
Mayim Bialik
So he said, don't get your hopes up to your family, because you're still critical. I mean, you still have no muscles, right?
Anita Moorjani
Nothing.
Mayim Bialik
You're still less than £90.
Anita Moorjani
Yes.
Mayim Bialik
You're exactly the way that you were, except now you've been in a coma. So physiologically, your body has shut down in a way that also has consequences. What happens next?
Anita Moorjani
Yeah. So after he tells my family, don't get your hopes up. And he. He. He actually says. Because when I start saying these Things. He said, it must be the meds messing with her mind.
Mayim Bialik
So if I had a nickel for every time someone said that.
Anita Moorjani
So he leaves the room and I start saying to my family, I keep saying to them, I'm going to be fine. It's not my time. They can actually take the tubes out. And my family are trying to calm me down. And then I said to Danny, I said, that isn't it interesting that the doctor said to you that I'm not even going to make it through the night? And that's when he said, how could you possibly have heard that? That was said outside the room, down the hallway at the nurse's station. I said, I saw the doctor. And I described the doctor. I described everything to him. He couldn't believe it. That's when he realized something had happened. And then I said to them, I actually said to my family, my organs are going to be functioning again. I said, I know. They said, my kidneys have stopped functioning, but my kidneys are going to be fine. And a few hours later, because the doctor, when he had come in, he took some text tests. A few hours later.
Mayim Bialik
There's not a test for what Anita went through.
Anita Moorjani
They came in, and so one of the first pieces of news they gave us was, your kidneys are functioning. We don't know what to make of it. And I don't know what got into me. And I said, oh, I already knew that. You know, I was surprised that they were surprised. So then after about three or four
Mayim Bialik
days, you moved to the icu, correct?
Anita Moorjani
Yes. I wanted to sit up and I wanted them to take the tubes out. I wanted to eat. I started asking for Belgian chocolate ice cream, and I hadn't eaten chocolate or sugar.
Mayim Bialik
Dairy and chocolate and sugar.
Anita Moorjani
That was the first thing I wanted to eat. So my poor husband went out in search of ice cream.
Jonathan Cohen
Are you in pain at this point? What's the pain difference between when you went into the coma and returning?
Anita Moorjani
The pain was dramatically less. Even though I had these open skin lesions. They were cleaning the wounds. The pain was dramatically less because mentally I was feeling euphoric. I wanted to listen to music, I wanted to sit up, I wanted to pull all this.
Mayim Bialik
Patients started complaining that Anita's partying too loud. Can you please move her?
Anita Moorjani
Yes.
Mayim Bialik
She said she felt like a child. She was, like, eating ice cream, listening to music, wanted to laugh.
Anita Moorjani
Yeah. And they had to move me because I was a disruption in the ice.
Mayim Bialik
But you weren't delirious.
Anita Moorjani
I wasn't delirious. I remember I was euphoric. I was euphoric. That. That. Oh, wow. I. So in that time, life made sense to me. All of a sudden, I understood why I was here, why I was back. It was. It was light. Life wasn't heavy the way it was before. The near death experience where I realized I don't have to work so hard and please everybody. So I was euphoric. And then the tumors started shrinking before our eyes and the doctors didn't even know what to make of it. Dr. Chan, the one who was freaking out, he actually made this gesture of wanting to throw my medical records into the trash. He said, I don't even know what to write in here for you.
Mayim Bialik
He should throw his medical degree in the garbage. That's what he should throw away.
Jonathan Cohen
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Jonathan Cohen
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Mayim Bialik
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Anita Moorjani
Yes.
Mayim Bialik
And you are. You are eating?
Anita Moorjani
Yes.
Mayim Bialik
This is something they didn't expect.
Anita Moorjani
No.
Mayim Bialik
They eventually took out the oxygen.
Anita Moorjani
Yes.
Mayim Bialik
And now you're breathing in lungs that were full of pleura. Like they were full of fluid, so much that you couldn't even be laid down. So the body seems to be doing something?
Anita Moorjani
Yes.
Mayim Bialik
The biggest question is what happened to the tumors?
Anita Moorjani
So they actually did start shrinking.
Mayim Bialik
What?
Anita Moorjani
And within three days they were able to notice it, even just visually and to the touch. Within four or five days, they didn't even need a scan. Just X rays showed they had shrunk by about 60, 70%. And then they were waiting for me to get stronger. Now they told me that the open skin lesions I had, I had two open skin lesions. They said these won't heal on their own. They'll need reconstructive surgery because your body doesn't have the nutrition to heal them. They healed on their own.
Mayim Bialik
They healed on Belgian chocolate ice cream. They did what they healed on.
Jonathan Cohen
How long did that take to heal the areas that were open wounds?
Anita Moorjani
So they had to regularly disinfect and re bandage those areas. So it took a total of about four or five weeks for the wounds to completely close up and seal.
Jonathan Cohen
I'm not a cancer doctor, but seeing the tumor shrink in three to four days at 60% is unheard of.
Anita Moorjani
No, I know and that's why they could not explain it. They could not believe it. And they were waiting for me to get stronger to do the biopsies, because the biopsies was what was going to tell them. So first they were waiting to do a bone marrow biopsy, which is very
Mayim Bialik
painful, and at stage 4B, you should be able to detect it in the bone marrow.
Anita Moorjani
Yes, absolutely. But there was no trace of cancer in the bone marrow. But even more so is that when the tumors disappeared? They said, we still want to do a lymph node biopsy, just to make sure.
Mayim Bialik
God love Western medicine.
Anita Moorjani
Yes. So they sent me to the radiologist. The radiologist is supposed to mark up a lymph node, which then the surgeon biopsies, removes to have biopsied. So I go to the radiologist, and he is looking at my scans from the day I went into the coma. And he's looking at me, and he's looking at the scans. And I hear him. He doesn't know I speak Cantonese. He's speaking in Chinese. He's calling the department that keeps the records and says, I think you sent me the wrong scans. This is not the patient I have here. She does not have all those chances.
Mayim Bialik
I kind of want you to say it in Cantonese. I want to hear what you heard. Sorry. Okay, keep going.
Anita Moorjani
Then the department says, no, that's the right patient. That's her name. Check her tag. This is the one. So then he calls my oncologist and tells the oncologist this has just happened. And the oncologist tells him, I don't care. Just find a lymph node to biopsy. And he says, I can't even find a lymph node that suggests cancer. But still he's forced to biopsy a lymph node, so he still marks one, which then gets surgically removed and of course, comes back with nothing.
Mayim Bialik
Of course.
Anita Moorjani
Yeah.
Jonathan Cohen
I have some empathy for these doctors because this is going in the face of everything they understand to be the reasonable protocol. Right. So, like, they're obviously totally confused. You're on the other side being like, what's wrong with you people? How come you didn't get the download?
Anita Moorjani
Yes, that's exactly.
Jonathan Cohen
I should be out of here. So I assume you want to leave, right?
Anita Moorjani
Yes.
Jonathan Cohen
And you want to be done with this. And you're like, I'm going to turn my back on a hospital and never go back.
Anita Moorjani
Yes.
Jonathan Cohen
And they have to, of course, do some due diligence to avoid malpractice.
Anita Moorjani
Yes.
Jonathan Cohen
And so you're in this bind here where they don't understand you, you don't understand them. How do we get out? How do you get yourself discharged?
Anita Moorjani
So in the end, I just let them do what they have to do. I let them go through it because I knew they weren't going to find anything. And during that time, while I'm there, I'm trying to just build up my strength and eat more because the other thing they said is your body is so frail, we're not letting you out until you hit 95 pounds or. They gave me a weight I had to hit. I mean, what a dream, gaining weight. Like on deliberately with ice cream and yeah. Being told by your doctor you need to gain weight.
Jonathan Cohen
Are you walking at the time? Are you starting to be able to move more? Like what? How are you physically?
Anita Moorjani
So I was still weak, but I was starting to walk. I was still starting to move more, gain some, gained some energy on my legs. I was practicing on the stairs in the stairwell at the hospital. So I was using that time to just gain energy. And every day I was just getting stronger and stronger. And even the doctors, the nurses were amazing. They were cheering for me, they were crying for me, they were laughing for me. They were amazing. And they were just so happy that I was healing because everybody thought I was going to die.
Mayim Bialik
About, I think it was a month and six days after you went into the coma, you were released from the hospital and a week later you were dancing and drinking champagne on your birthday.
Anita Moorjani
Yes, I was. I was still super skinny and frail, but I was.
Mayim Bialik
That's when you should be dancing and drinking champagne. So a week after you were discharged from the hospital on your birthday?
Anita Moorjani
Yes, I was discharged on March 9th. It was my birthday on March 16th.
Jonathan Cohen
You're dancing, you've had this euphoric realization. You've basically broken the medical system. They don't know what to do with you.
Mayim Bialik
Also, the euphoria has continued.
Anita Moorjani
It has, but I struggled integrating.
Jonathan Cohen
You've beaten death. You've had this out of body experience. You've been sent back to earth. You've been told you're going to be, be traveling the world. You've been given the vision of what your life is going to look like. You've been told and you've actually woken up and seen that you don't have to live with fear. But now that you're out of the hospital and you're back in everyday life, how do you integrate it? How much of that experience stays with you and how do you start to build the life that you have now.
Anita Moorjani
So that's where it gets more challenging as we move forward. So when I come out of the hospital, I'm still euphoric and I'm still feeling very connected. Everything looks really beautiful. Even all the same old scenery, the same old places, my same old apartment. It just looks amazing and beautiful. Everything looks so fresh. It's like I'm looking at everything through new eyes. And I have this second lease on life. And also, what was amazing was seeing all my old friends and my community again. I remember some of my friends, they cried when they saw me because they said, we never thought we'd see you again when you went into the hospital and we were talking to your husband and yeah, literally they were all waiting for me to die. So I remember walking into a room one day shortly after coming out of the hospital and walking to a venue into a room, and a couple of people just cried. Their jaw dropped and they just cried. And I was very touched by that because these were people who I've loved and I've lived in this community for so long. But as time went on, I started to notice that I'm not the same person I used to be. That's when it became hard because everybody else still knew the person I was before, and that's a challenge. And I realized, for example, I didn't want to go and work at a regular job like I used to. It didn't seem like something I wanted to do with my life. Things like sitting in traffic, what a waste of time. I'd rather be out looking at the sky or out in nature or sitting on a beach or eating ice cream. So every minute I just wanted to relish and cherish and. But none of my friends were doing that. They were all in their jobs, commuting. I never wanted to commute on the subway anymore because who wants to be packed like sardines every day just to go to a mundane job? So I just couldn't fit in anymore. And I started to actually feel lonely after a little while. And I didn't know what to do with myself because I thought, I don't want to job. It just feels so mundane. And then that's when Danny encouraged me to just write, write for myself. And so I did. He said, write what happened to you. Describe what you're feeling. Don't write it for a blog or a book. Just write for yourself. Cathartic. Make it cathartic. So I did. I just wrote and wrote and wrote, and it was long, and I didn't even know that what I had was a near death experience. I would not have given it a label or a name. I just wrote what happened. And then it felt good to write and I kept adding to it. Then one day my brother sent me a link to a website called N D e R f dot org.
Mayim Bialik
Yes, Jeffrey Long's site.
Anita Moorjani
Yes. And when he sent that to me, it blew my mind. I started to read some of the stories and these, they were calling them near death experiences. And I thought, oh, my gosh, I relate to this. I relate to this. So as I looked through the site and I read a couple of them and then it said, have you had an experience yourself? And it said, click here if you have to submit your story. So I clicked there and it asked questions. I answered all the questions. Then it said, if you have more, copy and paste it here. Boy, did I have more what I had typed up. If I had typed it on, if I had printed it on paper, it would have been 20 pages, single line spacing. So I copied and pasted that whole thing in. And then once I hit submit, the screen said, please allow three weeks for us to get back to you. Within hours, Jeffrey Long reached out to me and he said, oh, my gosh, that is such a remarkable experience. So he asked me some questions about the illness. He asked me about my medical records. So I shared a lot of information with him, and he also confirmed that I should not be alive. And then he asked my permission to share my story on the homepage of his website. But he said he was not going to put my full name. I said, yes, please don't use my full name. Just Anita Ems N D E. So that was just a few months after this had happened. And unbeknownst to me, it started to go viral. And on that is where it actually says that I will be speaking. I see myself speaking to thousands before it happened. Like, literally months after I had had this experience, it went viral. And then Wayne Dyer discovered it. Somebody brought it to his attention. And Wayne Dyer took it to Hay House, his publishers, and said, you have got to track this woman down, get her to write a book and publish it. And I will write the forward. I will promote her. And so Hay House tracked me down. They told me I was really difficult to track down because there was no email address, no last name, just said, Anita Ems N D E. But with the clue that it was Hong Kong, they somehow found me. And I got an email from Hay House, from the chief editor, and it was my birthday again. And it and the email said, I'm the chief editor at Hay House, and Wayne Dyer has discovered your story and has drawn. Brought it to our attention, and we would like to invite you to write a book which we will publish. I read that email and I started crying and I thought, oh, this is the door starting to open to what I saw. And then after. So I first I wrote back and I said. I said, is this a scam? And she wrote back right away, and she said, no, this is for real. And anyway, they made the process really easy for me. And then before my book was even published, Hay House invited me to come to Los Angeles, to Pasadena, to speak at an event, a Wayne Dyer event, where I stood on stage and there were 3,000 people in front of me. And I started to shake because that was the scene I saw and I couldn't believe it. And that's when Wayne Dyer said to me, why are you shaking? Are you scared? I said, yeah, I've never spoken in front of 3,000 people before. He said, but you've been dead and back. What have you got to be scared about? And I said, actually being dead is easier than public speaking. But yes, and here I am.
Mayim Bialik
There's kind of three things that you talk about that I wonder if you could outline for us. You know, we often ask people, what would you impart to people, you know, based on your experience and this undue love and intuition.
Anita Moorjani
When anything goes wrong in our lives, when we get sick or if we failed at something, or we have stuff going on in our lives that's stressing us out, the first thing we do or the first thing we ask ourselves is, what am I doing wrong? What can I do differently? What more can I do? What is it I'm missing? What can I learn? What can I read? What can I take for it? What if the answer is not in doing more, but in actually doing less or undoing? I usually use the analogy. I like analogies because they help me to explain things. I use the analogy of Michelangelo. And when Michelangelo was asked how he carves these beautiful statues of angels from these blocks of stone, he says, the angel is already there. I just chip away until I set the angel free. That's really what we're being called to do most of the time. It's about letting go of what is not you so that you can set yourself free. It's not about doing more, adding more, being more, researching more. It's about letting go of what is not you.
Mayim Bialik
So that's the undoing.
Anita Moorjani
Talk about love, the Way that we have come to understand it in the physical is actually conditional because people fall in and out of love. And that means it's conditional. It means if you're not fulfilling my needs, I eventually stop loving you. And so when I describe love in the other realm, I always say unconditional love. But technically, if it's conditional, it's not love. Love has to be unconditional. And so when I experienced that realm, what I realized is that in our purest form, when I crossed over, I left behind not only my physical body. I left behind my gender, my culture, my beliefs. I left behind all the baggage I had accumulated over a lifetime. I left everything behind. And the only thing that crossed over was my pure essence or pure consciousness. To me, that is pure love. Pure consciousness. Pure essence is the same as pure love. And that love is the unconditional love. And that's who you are at your essence. That's who you truly are. And when you set that free, that is the you that navigates the world, this beautiful essence that is just unconditional love. So whether somebody's being hateful or mean, it shouldn't affect who you are. You're still love at your core, at your essence. And that's what unconditional love is.
Mayim Bialik
And can you talk about what it looks like to deepen your intuition? Because that's something that you talk about. You weren't really aware of. And in many cases, you pushed aside your intuitive abilities. You believe that we all have them.
Anita Moorjani
Yes, we do. We are all intuitive, but we have repressed it. I believe our intuition is as strong as our other five senses. We are actually multi sensory beings, but we have repressed everything beyond the five senses. And I believe that babies are born intuitive. They know when their mother comes into the room. Look at our animals. Our animals know when we're nearing, when we're nowhere in sight, but they know it's their intuition. Animals know to get out of harm's way. There's no reason for us to not be without that. That's actually our birthright, but we have actually repressed it since we were born. And one way to actually learn to become more intuitive is to hone that muscle. Because it's like a muscle, if you haven't used it your whole life, it starts to atrophy. So to hone that muscle, you have to first be aware that you have it. You have to be aware, without a doubt, you have it. The only reason you're not feeling it is because you haven't used that muscle and then you can start to practice things. There are many exercises and tests, but the more that you have, the more that you actually love yourself and have confidence in yourself. The higher your intuition, the better your intuition. The more that you loathe yourself and feel shame for yourself and are constantly judging yourself, the less you rely on your intuition, therefore the less you use that muscle and therefore the less powerful it is.
Jonathan Cohen
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Jonathan Cohen
let's describe a little bit the mechanism that's happening. Because what you're saying has been repeated and so many guests have agreed with you. And in our experience we also agree with you. What's important, I think for people to understand is that the self loathing, the doubt, the fear, it actually gets in the way of intuition. Because intuition is a frequency that you have to have a level of calm, peace, understanding and trust in the process of yourself and in life for you to hear.
Anita Moorjani
Yes, 100%.
Jonathan Cohen
And fear is a frequency that is like, like the air conditioner vibrating so loudly that it pulls your attention away and makes you unable to shift into the vibration of intuition. If intuition comes to us in a either felt sense or a heard sense or just a knowing, we can't actually tap into that. If I'm constantly in, I should have done this or I should have done that. Our rational mind is taking up so much space that we're not able to follow what would be sometimes subtle, sometimes loud, but often subtle, little knowing of, oh, I don't want to go to this direction, I'm going to go to the other direction. And then you bump into someone and you know, a lot of synchronicity happens in that way when we're not being pulled off track.
Anita Moorjani
Yes. So you've actually articulated that very, very well. So the more that you do trust yourself, the more that you start to actually be on the same frequency as your intuition. Because if you look at our pets, our dogs, they don't second guess themselves, they don't doubt themselves, they don't have questions about, you know, they don't feel shame. So, yes, you're absolutely correct in that.
Jonathan Cohen
I think it's important because a lot of people have heard shame, fear, they don't help you access these. And they're like, they might be like, okay, I understand that, but like, why, why can't I? For me, I don't really register anything until I understand the mechanism behind it. Because then I'm like, oh, my mind is racing, I'm beating myself up and I'm like, I'm actually blocking the thing that I want.
Anita Moorjani
Yes. And you're right. I liked that you use frequency because tell you the truth, I use frequency a lot, but I wasn't using it so much today because I wasn't sure
Mayim Bialik
we love that word.
Anita Moorjani
Oh, good. Okay.
Jonathan Cohen
When you describe your feeling of that overabundance of love in the other realm, I believe that people are capable of tapping into that like a radio signal.
Anita Moorjani
Yes.
Jonathan Cohen
We can tune our consciousness towards that frequency and then feel it entirely in our body. It can take over our thinking, it can take over the space that we would otherwise be ruminating and fearful because we've filled it with this frequency of love and acceptance.
Anita Moorjani
Yes, that's exactly right. And what I usually tell people is that if you Want to be more intuitive and you want to be filled more with the frequency of love and acceptance. Just take a look at what you do on a day to day basis. Are you filling that time with stress with watching the news all day long, which is the worst thing you can do? Or you're at a job you hate and you're being bullied by your boss? Just look at how you spend your days. There is no room in your day if that's how you're living, to actually get the intuitive messages. Your frequency continues to go down as you spend your day doing things that are stressful. But when you can create gaps in your day where you can go sit on the beach or you can head for the hills, or you can listen to music, you can go have a nice meal with friends and laugh, you're raising that frequency and that makes you more intuitive.
Jonathan Cohen
Most people are stuck in the state where they're gonna do basically the same thing and then add a five minute mindfulness meditation, or they're going to do basically the same thing and then rush to yoga and, and they're going to go through the yoga class and then they're going to go back. And I don't fault people for that because life is hard and we want to distract ourselves and it's very challenging to break out of the routines and habits that we have. Yes, but what you're saying is that if we don't make space to feel something else.
Anita Moorjani
Yeah.
Jonathan Cohen
We will only feel the thing that is causing us the pain and suffering that we're currently experiencing.
Anita Moorjani
Yes. Because the way you're living, not you, but the way the person is living is actually creating that stress, that which they are trying to run away from. And so as they're trying to run away from something, they're actually creating that which they're running away from because they're fitting in the yoga, they're fitting in the meditation as part of a very tight schedule.
Mayim Bialik
It's kind of like when you said when you were trying to treat your cancer out of fear.
Anita Moorjani
Yes.
Mayim Bialik
Instead of. I mean, I don't know what the alternative looks like necessarily.
Anita Moorjani
When I speak to people in my events and people with cancer who do come to my events, I actually tell them that what I would like them to do is to not think of the illness trajectory, but to think of a wellness trajectory. Because every single person can make changes in their health. When you get a cancer diagnosis, the diagnosis that the doctor gives you is based on your cancer, on your cells and their movement and their progression. Provided you don't do anything at all. It's based on the current trajectory of those cells based on where you are right now, provided you do nothing to change. But you can change a lot of your current circumstances. And so I have them go inward and check where they have stresses in their life, how much time are they spending doing things they love to do. I also have them imagine that if you have a clean bill of health, what do you want to do with the rest of your life? You don't want to go back to the life you had before because that's the life that gave you cancer in the first place. So start building that new life. Start creating it as though that is going to be your outcome and start living towards that. So you're shifting your focus. Instead of focusing on the fear of cancer, you're focusing on the possibility of wellness. And what that looks like, what that
Mayim Bialik
reminds me of is, you know, when people talk about manifesting and a lot of people roll their eyes at the notion of manifesting. I mean, a lot of critical people do, or skeptical people. But what you talk about is kind of like you. You have to live something as if you believe in it in order for it to work.
Anita Moorjani
Yes.
Mayim Bialik
Meaning you can't just, like, talk about wanting to be better. You have to also do the legwork. And this is where a lot of people, I think, you know, get caught up in the notion of prayer. Like, why hasn't God answered my prayers? Like, I'm praying for this. Why hasn't it happened? And what, you know, what we have to do is what's called the legwork. Like, you have to do the legwork and let God be your partner. If you believe in God, you know, let the universe be your partner. But it doesn't mean that you just kind of wait.
Anita Moorjani
Oh, exactly. In fact, I want to do a Jonathan and put a little mechanism to this. So there's some things when people talk about manifesting, when they talk about the law of attraction, they talk about vision boards. There's some things they're missing. And I know because I have lived through this. Sometimes when you create a vision board, like let's say you're sick and you put this vision board of all these people that are healthy, it actually makes you feel worse.
Mayim Bialik
This is what happens when I try and do a vision board. I just cry.
Anita Moorjani
Yeah. Because it's like, why am I not there? Why am I not there?
Mayim Bialik
Right. Like, here's a board of all the things I can't do. That's what it can feel like.
Anita Moorjani
Exactly. It's not about a vision board. The piece that's missing is how does it make you feel? So if something is making you feel crappy, then that's not for you. It's lowering your vibe. It's lowering your frequency. So here's what you're trying to do. When with manifesting what is really missed out, People just talk about visualizing. It's not the visualizing. It's not the graphics. It's how is it making you feel? Because how you feel is what's changing the frequency. And it's the frequency that is drawing on your intuition, and it's drawing from out there. It's the frequency that's changing your surroundings.
Mayim Bialik
Which is why when you do something like heart math, where they're telling you to imagine positive scenarios and your heart starts to behave differently. It's why Joe Dispenza and Tony Robbins do all these meditations. Think of the amazing thing. Feel it in your body. You can't just cognitively think about it. You have to feel it. You have to use both sides of your brain. You don't just conjure the thing and say, okay, I thought of the 10 things that I want to have happen. The idea is to start experiencing what it feels like to lean into goodness. Think of your puppy, think of a baby. Think of the person that you always love to see. Anything that brings up complexity, pain, sadness, those are not things that are going to get you on that frequency of healing.
Anita Moorjani
Exactly. And it's the this. You need to be on that frequency just to live life.
Mayim Bialik
Here's my hot take. If you've ever had a friend who's like, on ecstasy and you're like, at a club, but you're not on ecstasy, and they're like, oh, my God, life's amazing. And then, like, they come down off ecstasy and they're still like, that is amazing. It was such a fun night. And you're like, I don't get it. You have been able to maintain that friend on ecstasy vibe as your new normal. But you know what I mean. Like, when people do drugs and they're like. And you're like, oh, my God, just like, sober up. It's too much. But you. I'm not saying you're annoying. I'm saying you're able to maintain in an authentic way what it feels like to be in touch with that rush of chemicals, that experience, and that consciousness that many people don't get to encounter unless they're in an altered state.
Jonathan Cohen
I also think the crucial piece here is that we need a drive to live.
Anita Moorjani
Yes.
Jonathan Cohen
If we are just going through the motions, our bodies will break down and they will stop having the vitality required to. For us to thrive.
Anita Moorjani
Yes.
Jonathan Cohen
And most people are in some version of that where they have not carved away the marble that is the angel.
Anita Moorjani
Yes.
Jonathan Cohen
And so how do we empower ourselves? Find the things that are going to give us that euphoric feeling so that our cells do the things we need them to do. It's like if we think about it from that standpoint, that I need to have euphoria and things that get me excited in order for my cells to optimally function, then it's no longer wishy washy manifesting or I'm trying to get my million bucks and my yacht. Like, it's not about that.
Anita Moorjani
It's like not about that.
Jonathan Cohen
I need to connect with the frequency that's going to allow my physical body to do the basic processes to allow me to live.
Mayim Bialik
Before we let you go, I know that you don't have any specific, kind of like I have an extra sensory ability. You know, some people come back from an NDE and they're changed in, you know, kind of physiologically interesting ways, or they feel like they have a new sense that they didn't have before. What. What do you feel is the special ability that you came back with?
Anita Moorjani
I realized after the NDE that I would. I am an empath. I realized that I am highly intuitive. These. I realized I have an enormous capacity to love a lot of people. Since I came back, I have actually noticed that I do have the ability or the gift to bridge the two worlds with my words, to articulate and to bring it to people who are grounded, even people who are grounded in science. I. I have realized that I do have this. And I think it's, maybe it's the experience that's brought it out in me, but I have the ability to actually articulate and express concepts that are beyond our five senses. For a world that doesn't understand it,
Mayim Bialik
how do you not get sort of a messiah complex? Meaning how do you not feel like, oh my gosh, I'm this exceptional human being that literally should have died, kind of did die, came back, beat every odd that there was. Do you ever feel like, wow, I have to keep this in check? I mean, you came back with a message to deliver to the world and you have.
Anita Moorjani
I actually remind myself, because it's so beautiful on the other side, that perhaps the people who get to stay there are actually the Lucky ones. And it is despite the fact that I appear to be on ecstasy all the time. The other side is easier than here. It can still get pretty lonely here sometimes. And. And my husband. And if ever I do get a messiah complex, Danny is the first to remind me and say, what if actually you flunked and that's why they sent you back.
Jonathan Cohen
You're not so great or you would have stayed there.
Anita Moorjani
Yeah, exactly.
Mayim Bialik
You still had more to learn. That's right.
Anita Moorjani
You still have more to learn. You're not that great.
Jonathan Cohen
I love that.
Mayim Bialik
Where can people find out more about the work that you do? Because we didn't even get to get into it. You teach courses, you lecture. You have a sanctuary, as it were. Tell us where to find out more about you.
Anita Moorjani
So I have a website that's anitamojani.com and I have a few books out. Three books and two children's books. And I have a membership platform where people can sign up to access courses and journeys. I do a lot of guided journeys because a lot of people are not able to meditate without guidance. But if I guide them with my voice and take them on the journey, they can raise their frequency that way.
Mayim Bialik
Thank you so much for being here. We bring greetings from Lee Harris, who we had on, and he was so excited and said to us, have you spoken to Anita? And we said, we're literally having her next week.
Jonathan Cohen
And so we recorded him the last podcast right before you, and your podcast is gonna air right after his.
Anita Moorjani
Oh, wow. I love him.
Mayim Bialik
The day that he was here, your books came in the mail. So literally, as we were saying goodbye to him, a package was delivered, and it was literally your books. So anyway, we had such a lovely time with him, and he sends regards, so we also wanted to pass that on.
Anita Moorjani
Oh, he's so lovely. I just adore him.
Mayim Bialik
Oh, yeah.
Anita Moorjani
And I just wanted to share this quick story of my friend Erika.
Mayim Bialik
That's right.
Anita Moorjani
So my friend Erika who came here, she's a big fan of yours. And what happened is that she's the one who introduced me to your podcast. And she said to me, have you ever watched Mayim Bialik? And I said, no, I haven't. And she said, you've got to watch her. And she told me all about you, that you were Sheldon's girlfriend on the Big Bang Theory. And so we watched the one where you talk about empathy and about empaths. And I watched it and I was hooked. I thought, wow, she's a great interviewer. I loved it. And so Erica said to me, at the end of it, Erica goes, we gotta figure out how to get you on her podcast. Two days later, I got the email from you saying, from your people saying, we'd like you to be on our podcast.
Jonathan Cohen
What do you think that is? Because the caveat is that I believe that when we are on our paths, we will have much more synchronicity. Without even trying, things will just sort of appear. We don't have to manifest and vision board and try so hard, like you said. So what do you attribute that level of synchronicity to?
Anita Moorjani
So you and I, you said something I always say, you don't even have to do the vision board when you are on that right path. So I attribute it to a raised frequency. That's all. Because when you raise your frequency, the higher your frequency, the less you have to actually focus on specifics, because what is actually yours will just come to you. What you need for this path will come to you. Sometimes if you just focus. I mean, sometimes when you think, oh, I need to visualize this, you might actually be limiting what's actually coming your way.
Mayim Bialik
Maybe there's more possibilities than even what your puny mind can imagine.
Anita Moorjani
Exactly. Because if I had to figure out how to get from my deathbed to where I am today, I'm not smart enough to figure that out or to visualize it. But just by raising my frequency and allowing it to unfold, I just followed the breadcrumbs.
Jonathan Cohen
I also think that people often have two parts of their lives. They often have a suffering and a beginning phase. And then they have the. Once you get over a certain threshold, things sort of unfold in a different capacity. And I think it's important to sort of figure out, where are you in which phase of life you're in.
Anita Moorjani
Yeah, I never thought of it that way, but yes, there is. It's like a pattern.
Mayim Bialik
Anita, thank you so much for being here. Really such an honor to meet you.
Anita Moorjani
Thank you for inviting me. I so thrilled to be here.
Mayim Bialik
That was unbelievable. It was a little bit life changing. Like, I. There's so many things. But one of the things that I did want to talk about, and it's interesting that I kind of like that we have a reputation that makes some people nervous. Like, should I talk about raising frequencies? I'm less into it in terms of understanding it than you are.
Jonathan Cohen
Depends on who she's talking to. She's talking to you versus me.
Mayim Bialik
Well, so I wanted to actually talk about this a little bit because I think it does hone in on some of what we try to do here, which is sort of like, you know, straddling this gap between like what's science, what's not, what needs to be science and what doesn't need to be science. And this is one of those things where, you know, the people who use terms like raising frequency, like this is co opting a physics term that has nothing to do with what we're talking about. So frequency, like literally frequency is how many times like a wave cycle or an oscillation will pass a specific point. That's what it is. So it's like if you picture a wave, right, Like a wave function, like a sine function or a cosine function, depending on where it starts. If you picture that and you take an interval, there's a certain amount of time that it takes for one wave. I'm just going to give an example to go through. And if two waves go through it in the same interval, that's a higher frequency, it's more frequent. And we measure this in, in hertz, right? How many times something happens per second or per, you know, designated time. That's what we, you know, like that's how we measure frequencies. So the thing that this is something that kind of gets.
Jonathan Cohen
So it's a different term.
Mayim Bialik
It's a different term because it's a different term.
Jonathan Cohen
You don't like, you don't raise frequency. Well, what about vibration? So vibration can have, okay be like humming at a lower decibel level and you want to raise the vibration. I feel like that's maybe a more accurate term when I say frequency, right? I mean more like a radio channel where you're tuning yourself a radio channel. You can sort of like if you're thinking almost more AM than, than fm. Seriously. Yeah. Here's why. Because it feels like there's a more, more gaps and you have to be a little bit more precise to log on to an AM channel. And there's like more digits the channels so you can be slightly off channel and be getting the wrong signal. And what you want to do is find the right signal which will then impact your vibration.
Mayim Bialik
So yeah, so when I like the, the technical concept, this feels closer. The technical concept of vibration is an oscillatory back and forth movement. If you're thinking about like a higher vibration, it just, to me what I think of is like, oh, this is a vibration. But like this is a higher vibration and this is a lower vibration.
Jonathan Cohen
Well, too high is no good.
Mayim Bialik
Says you.
Jonathan Cohen
Well, if you're Too high. Then you have, I think, another problem where the cells could be mutating and moving too quickly.
Mayim Bialik
So we're looking to raise the vibration, but there's a ceiling effect.
Jonathan Cohen
Well, you want to raise the vibration. Assuming that most people are in a depressed state or semi depressed state, disconnected from them.
Mayim Bialik
Elevate the vibration.
Jonathan Cohen
Elevate from this state where we're not connected to our joy, we're not connected to a love frequency. We're cycling in the unknown. We're caught in the news cycle where things are uncertain. We are indoctrinated with outrage, which captures our attention. And none of that gives us the time and the space to feel what the. You know, what is sometimes called higher vibrational frequencies, like love, which is calming and peaceful and then gives us other opportunities.
Mayim Bialik
So, yeah, I was thinking of the Beach Boys song because it actually does capture what we're talking about. So the Beach Boys song Good Vibrations, it's. I love the colorful clothes she wears and the way the sunlight plays upon her hair I hear the sound of a gentle word on the wind that lifts her perfume through the air I'm picking up good vibrations she's giving me excitations. So these things make sense to me because when we're thinking about. I'm serious. In terms of what Anita was talking about, these are the things that make them happy. Right. The colorful clothes, it gives you that feeling of goodness. Right. The way the sunlights play, it gives him excitation. So for me, it's pom poms.
Jonathan Cohen
Find the things that give you excitation or good vibrations.
Mayim Bialik
Yeah. The Marky Mark song is not. It's like. It's such a good vibration. It's such a sweet sensation. Like, that's it.
Jonathan Cohen
The Beach Boy song is better.
Mayim Bialik
The Beach Boys. It's more appropriate because otherwise it's like strictly hip hop. Boy, I ain't singing this. Bringing this to the entire nation. Black, white, red, brown. Feel the vibration. Doesn't have the same.
Jonathan Cohen
No, it's not the same.
Mayim Bialik
It's not the same.
Jonathan Cohen
It's not the same as I'm.
Mayim Bialik
Yeah. Picking up good vibrations.
Jonathan Cohen
So our job.
Anita Moorjani
Good, good, good. Sorry, you can't.
Jonathan Cohen
You can't end there.
Mayim Bialik
I think there was a Sunkist commercial when I was a kid and they were water skiing. And I remember as a kid, I was like, would I ever be the kind of gentile adult that could water ski? Because that's what all the people in the commercial look like. They look like anybody I grew up with, they were. They were blondes and tan. They looked like they went to Fancy Squad and they're water skiing.
Jonathan Cohen
And I was on wood water skis back then.
Mayim Bialik
Yeah. Someday could I be in a Sunkist commercial singing Good Vibrations?
Jonathan Cohen
The answer was no.
Mayim Bialik
I will have my own podcast about mental health and I will recite the lyrics like a nerd.
Jonathan Cohen
Look, the most important thing is you find the things that give you a rush.
Mayim Bialik
Look, if we ever get to speak to Anita again, which I would love
Jonathan Cohen
to, I'm sure we will.
Mayim Bialik
I mean, I think that's probably the. That's. And this. I don't get anything from saying this. Like, yeah, I would take that course. Meaning if you're unhappy in your life, if you've got something brewing and you're like, I wish I didn't have to. I think that Anita has something to offer for people to kind of like blow your perspective, like, out of the water. Because so many people feel I'm destined to this. I'm determined to do. I have to do this. I don't want to, but how am I going to pay the bills? How am I going to survive? How? And. And that's the thing, too. Like, I want to make sure that people understand. Anita is speaking to all sorts of people, not just people who are like, I can afford to never work again and I'm just gonna, like, go to the beach all day. That's not what she's talking about. She's talking about what does your life look like? What makes you happy? What drives you? What is your cellular information communicating about the life you're living. There's more in your control than you realize.
Jonathan Cohen
Really, really well said. The last thing I want to say here is that there seems to be a childlike wonder and enthusiasm.
Mayim Bialik
It reminded me of Joe Baltee Taylor
Jonathan Cohen
that people reconnect with when they find their joy.
Mayim Bialik
Yes.
Jonathan Cohen
There's something about growing up that is stripping the joy out of our lives. And it doesn't have to be like that.
Mayim Bialik
There's something about being human that just sucks the joy out of our existence.
Jonathan Cohen
Reinvigorate the joy and everything will be a little easier. You'll be more connected with your intuition. Also, if you just love this conversation or you think, I wish there were more, guess what? There is more. We have a few pieces of this conversation that just literally couldn't fit in the episode because we spoke to Anita and got so many amazing topics covered. So check out the additional never before released exclusive content only on substack.
Mayim Bialik
That's bialikbreakdown.substack.com and from our breakdown to the one we hope you never have.
Anita Moorjani
We'll see you next time.
Jonathan Cohen
It's Maya Bialik's breakdown.
Anita Moorjani
She's going to break it down for you.
Jonathan Cohen
She got a neuroscience PhD or two, and now she's gonna break down some breakdown. She's gonna break it down.
Release Date: August 27, 2025
Host(s): Mayim Bialik & Jonathan Cohen
Guest: Anita Moorjani (Author, "Dying to Be Me")
This episode continues the profound and compelling story of Anita Moorjani, focusing on her near-death experience (NDE), spontaneous healing from terminal cancer, the unexplainable medical recovery that followed, and the deep spiritual insights she now shares with the world. Mayim and Jonathan explore Anita’s messages about consciousness, intuition, unconditional love, and the remarkable synchronicities that have defined her life ever since.
Anita describes the reason for her return from the NDE ([01:38]–[04:50]):
“Now that you know the truth of who you really are, your body will heal very quickly.”
— Anita Moorjani ([02:03])
The experience of re-entering her body and the immediate aftermath ([07:05]–[10:34]):
“I saw the doctor. And I described the doctor. I described everything to him. He couldn’t believe it.”
— Anita Moorjani ([11:13])
The medical team’s astonishment as Anita’s body began to recover ([12:18]–[20:59]):
“The pain was dramatically less... I was euphoric. Life made sense to me.”
— Anita Moorjani ([13:09], [13:42])
“They were waiting to do a bone marrow biopsy... but there was no trace of cancer.”
— Anita Moorjani ([19:14], [19:19])
“He actually made this gesture of wanting to throw my medical records into the trash. He said, I don’t even know what to write in here for you.”
— Anita Moorjani ([14:32])
The real challenge: Reintegration into ordinary life ([23:49]–[27:32]):
“I realized, I don’t want to go and work at a regular job... I’d rather be out looking at the sky or out in nature or sitting on a beach or eating ice cream.”
— Anita Moorjani ([25:10])
“Wayne Dyer discovered it... you have got to track this woman down, get her to write a book and publish it.”
— Anita Moorjani ([30:41])
Undoing ([31:39]):
“It’s about letting go of what is not you so you can set yourself free.”
— Anita Moorjani ([31:39])
Unconditional Love ([32:55]):
“Pure consciousness, pure essence is the same as pure love... that’s who you are at your essence.”
— Anita Moorjani ([32:55]–[34:41])
Intuition ([34:57]–[36:39]):
“The only reason you’re not feeling it is because you haven’t used that muscle.”
— Anita Moorjani ([34:57])
“The more that you actually love yourself... the higher your intuition, the better your intuition.”
— Anita Moorjani ([35:40])
The importance of “frequency” and ‘feeling’ as mechanisms for intuition and healing ([38:24]–[50:01]):
“It’s how is it making you feel? Because how you feel is what’s changing the frequency.”
— Anita Moorjani ([46:43])
“If we think about it from that standpoint, that I need to have euphoria and things that get me excited in order for my cells to optimally function, then it’s no longer wishy-washy manifesting.”
— Jonathan Cohen ([49:33])
“I have the ability to articulate and express concepts that are beyond our five senses for a world that doesn’t understand it.”
— Anita Moorjani ([50:30])
“If ever I do get a messiah complex, Danny is the first to remind me and say, what if actually you flunked and that’s why they sent you back?”
— Anita Moorjani ([51:59])
On meaningful coincidence ([55:20]):
“When you raise your frequency, the higher your frequency, the less you have to actually focus on specifics, because what is actually yours will just come to you.”
— Anita Moorjani ([55:39])
Rediscovering childlike joy and the importance of living authentically ([64:12]):
“There seems to be a childlike wonder and enthusiasm that people reconnect with when they find their joy... and it doesn’t have to be like that.”
— Jonathan Cohen ([64:12])
“Reinvigorate the joy and everything will be a little easier. You’ll be more connected with your intuition.”
— Jonathan Cohen ([64:38])
Summary prepared by Mayim Bialik’s Breakdown Summarizer. For listeners and seekers who want comprehensive insight into extraordinary healing, consciousness, and the joy of living authentically.