Part Two: The Holistic Psychologist: Why Childhood Wounds Block Intuition, How Trauma Pulls You Into The Past & The Science of Reparenting Your Nervous System | Dr. Nicole LePera

Summary

Mayim Bialik's Breakdown — Episode Summary
Episode: Part Two: The Holistic Psychologist: Why Childhood Wounds Block Intuition, How Trauma Pulls You Into The Past & The Science of Reparenting Your Nervous System
Guests: Dr. Nicole LePera (The Holistic Psychologist)
Date: April 4, 2026

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Episode Overview

In part two of Mayim Bialik’s exploration with Dr. Nicole LePera (The Holistic Psychologist), the conversation delves deeply into how childhood wounds and trauma shape adult intuition, emotional regulation, and behavior. The discussion centers on the science and practice of “reparenting” the nervous system—offering concrete strategies to address old patterns, heal shame, and access one’s authentic inner compass. With both scientific rigor and personal anecdotes, the episode connects the dots between early experiences, nervous system states, intuition, and meaningful change.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Understanding Shame and Its Responses

• Distinction Between Guilt and Shame
  • Guilt is about a bad action ("I did something bad"); shame is about a bad self ("I am bad"). (02:56, Dr. Nicole LePera)
  • Shame tends to root in childhood, especially when worth is granted conditionally (e.g. for achievement, being quiet, or performing).
• Manifestations of Shame
  • Responses include people pleasing, avoidance, isolation, overcompensation, perfectionism, secrecy, self-criticism, and more. (01:55, Mayim Bialik)
  • “Shame is a more pervasive identity-based feeling where we feel badly about who I am…” (02:56, Dr. Nicole LePera)
• School Environments and Shame
  • Dr. LePera and Mayim share childhood stories illustrating how small academic setbacks trailed into lasting feelings of shame. (06:16)
  • Overly rigid or high-pressure environments—at home or in school—tend to amplify and embed shame narratives.

How Shame and Trauma Block Intuition

• Disconnection from Intuition
  • Unprocessed shame activates nervous system shutdown, disconnecting people from their inner voice—making them outsource decisions or live on high alert. (08:55, Dr. Nicole LePera)
  • “We begin to live in our mind, separate from our body, outsourcing, asking other people what they think as they’re more worthy. And so we’re not even tuning in to where intuition lives inside of us.” (08:55)
• Survival Strategies Masquerading as Instinct
  • Hypervigilance and misreading neutral cues as threats emerge from relational trauma.
  • Survival states feel “normal” and are mistaken for intuition—people believe their anxiety is their “gut feeling.” (10:00)
• Loss of Flexibility and Creativity
  • When under stress, both perception and problem-solving narrow, limiting options and stifling creativity.
  • “We lose flexibility where we become certain things are all or nothing.” (11:36, Dr. Nicole LePera)

The Science and Practice of Reparenting

• What Is Reparenting?
  • Not just insight or “soft self-care,” but active rewiring of nervous system responses and internal dialogue. (21:47)
  • “Reparenting really is…becoming the safe, nurturing, compassionate, supportive, not only in thought, but in action caregiver [to yourself].” (22:50, Dr. Nicole LePera)
• How to Start
  • Awareness is key: noticing body cues of stress or shutdown (heart rate, breath, tension, etc.).
  • Small, repeated shifts—practices to reinforce safety, self-compassion, and new choices.
• Misconceptions about Healing
  • There is no “healed forever.” Life continues to present challenges; the goal is to meet them intentionally, building capacity for regulation and connection. (25:27)
  • “Change does come in gradually. It doesn’t happen in one lightning strike…More often than not, we don’t feel differently for some time…you have to keep doing it anyway.” (26:26)

Practical Examples and Real-Life Applications

• Relational Patterns and Triggers
  • Childhood wounds—including unmet needs and sibling dynamics—often play out with partners, colleagues, friends.
  • Example: Jonathan shares about tracing his anger issues with a former partner back to sibling aggression, highlighting the importance of recognizing these repeating patterns. (27:56)
• Recognizing and Setting Boundaries
  • Holding space for others without losing oneself; anger signals unmet needs or boundary violations.
  • Not all childhood sibling conflict is abuse, but when teasing, violence, or exclusion becomes chronic or ignored, lasting harm can occur. (33:23)
• Role of Parents and Physical Discipline
  • Hitting or shaming children undermines respect and trust; it triggers nervous system threat responses and confuses attachment.
  • “Nothing degrades respect more than physical violence or boundaryless behavior.” (43:53, Dr. Nicole LePera)

Shadow Work & Projecting the “Disowned Self”

• The Shadow as Unseen Force
  • Aspects of self that were unwelcome as a child are hidden (“shadow”) and projected onto others as irritations or judgments.
  • “Sometimes the things that bother us about [others]...desperately want to see within ourselves.” (49:30)
• “Spot It, You’ve Got It”
  • Being triggered by someone else’s behavior often reveals an exiled or suppressed aspect of ourselves (e.g., disliking assertive people because you were never allowed to be assertive). (50:05)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “Shame is a more pervasive identity-based feeling where we feel badly about who I am … Shame originates in childhood, where we weren’t seen as enough for just being who we are.”
  — Dr. Nicole LePera (02:56)

• “We begin to live in our mind, separate from our body, outsourcing, asking other people what they think as they’re more worthy. And so we’re not even tuning in to where intuition lives inside of us.”
  — Dr. Nicole LePera (08:55)

• “Your inner child is not just ‘inside’—it’s on the outside, interacting with every single person, getting offended, getting hurt…”
  — Mayim Bialik (10:52)

• “Change does come in gradually. It’s not one lightning strike of a dramatic, insightful moment.”
  — Dr. Nicole LePera (26:26)

• “Nothing degrades respect more than physical violence or boundaryless behavior in that way, because that’s what that is. It’s a boundary violation.”
  — Dr. Nicole LePera (43:53)

• “If you spot it, you’ve got it.”
  — Mayim Bialik (49:28)

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Notable Timestamps

• 01:55 – Introduction to shame and behavioral responses.
• 02:56 – Dr. LePera distinguishes shame from guilt.
• 06:16 – Impacts of school systems and childhood messages.
• 08:55 – How shame disconnects us from intuition.
• 11:25 – The “inner child” is visible in adult behavior.
• 22:50 – Introduction and definition of reparenting.
• 25:27 – Realistic expectations for healing.
• 27:56 – Jonathan’s personal story about sibling abuse and anger patterns.
• 33:23 – Discussion of sibling abuse vs. normal conflict.
• 43:53 – Effects of physical violence and boundary violations by parents.
• 48:27 – What is shadow work?
• 52:08 – A vision for the “other side” of the work—connection, awareness, and hope.

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Closing Reflections

• Healing is a lifelong, non-linear process—every relationship offers a chance to practice and embody healthier patterns.
• “Reparenting the Inner Child” is highlighted as a practical workbook that’s both accessible and rigorous: “If you cannot afford therapy… treat it like it's your therapy.” (54:09, Mayim Bialik)
• The journey is about reclaiming connection, creativity, and the sense of being “enough”—and it’s never too late to change.
• “On the other side of this work is life… Connection, awareness, joy, sorrow. All of these very complicated human emotions. That is what is creating this human experience.” (52:08, Dr. Nicole LePera)

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Further Learning & Exercises

• For bonus content—including three vagus nerve exercises from Dr. LePera—listeners are encouraged to check out the Substack or YouTube versions.
• Next Substack Live promises practical discussions about “glimmers”—moments of awe or safety that rewire emotional experience.

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This conversation is both scientifically grounded and deeply compassionate, breaking down the hidden architecture of childhood wounds and adult intuition—while equipping listeners with hope and tools for authentic healing.

Transcript

[Jonathan Cohen]

I sold my car in Carvana last night.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Well that's cool. No, you don't understand.

[Jonathan Cohen]

It went perfectly.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Real offer down to the penny.

[Jonathan Cohen]

They're picking it up tomorrow.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Nothing went wrong.

[Mayim Bialik]

So what's the problem?

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

That is the problem.

[Jonathan Cohen]

Nothing in my life goes to smoothly. I'm waiting for the catch.

[Mayim Bialik]

Maybe there's no catch.

[Jonathan Cohen]

That's exactly what a catch would want me to think.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Wow.

[Mayim Bialik]

You need to relax.

[Jonathan Cohen]

I need a knock on wood. Do we have wood?

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Is this table wood?

[Mayim Bialik]

I think it's laminate.

[Jonathan Cohen]

Okay.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Yeah, that's good. That's close enough.

[Mayim Bialik]

Car selling without a catch. Sell your car today. Pick up fees may apply.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Mayim Bialik]

Hi, I'm Mayim Bialik.

[Jonathan Cohen]

And I'm Jonathan Cohen.

[Mayim Bialik]

And welcome to part two of our conversation with the holistic psychologist Dr. Nicole Lapera. We're talking about her new book, Reparenting the Inner Child, the new science of our oldest wounds and how to heal them. But what we actually talked about in part one of our conversation with Dr. Lapera is how the different wounds we receive in childhood manifest in adulthood, in our relationships, in our work, in our lives. If we're not in touch with our intuition, integrity, it's likely because these wounds are acting very, very strongly in our adult life. We also talk about what it's like to be the child of emotionally immature parents, why it's hard to do work on the inner child and what survival mode looks like. We hope you enjoy part two of our conversation with Dr. Nicole Lupera. Break it down. You devote, you know, a healthy and deserving part of the book to shame. I would love to talk about shame. The acronym I've heard is should have already mastered everything. Which is what I think of when I think of shame. And that's usually what it feels like. I wonder if you can talk a little bit. I mean there's many kinds of responses we have to feeling shame. And I hadn't thought of people pleasing, avoidance, isolation, projection, body consciousness, overcompensation, being controlling, having secrets, being defensive, self harm. I hadn't thought of Those as what? If we view these as responses to shame, can you talk a little bit about what shame is? How we feel shame, how we distinguish that from guilt and what it looks like when a child experiences shame.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

So in contrast to guilt, which is a feeling that we have about a behavior, right? We feel badly about something that we've done. Shame is a more pervasive identity based feeling where we feel badly about who I am and shame. Right? Again, back to this idea that I was referencing earlier about we learn who we are and what we're worthy of in childhood. For more often than not, shame originates in childhood where we weren't seen as enough just for being who we are, right? And I think so many people fall into that category, right? Where we were only seen to be enough conditionally when we were performing in some way, or when we were easy and quiet and not rocking the boat, or when we were over performing or caretaking like we talked about in terms of reparenting. So we and our inherent worth rate gets defined then more by action and shame. We can, in my opinion at least we can even map it on to a nervous system state of disconnection, of a shutting down, right? Of where we're actually kind of disembodying ourselves, where we're disconnecting from our inherent worthiness, right? Only living the certain parts that are showing the world, right? Hiding the things that we think would cause us to be rejected or abandoned, again, just like in childhood. So for so many of us, right, the actions or inactions of our earliest caregivers, again because of the way our brain developmentally couldn't zoom out and defer responsibility because none of it ever was ours, right? We assign that meaning, you didn't show up for me or you abused me, parent, whatever it is that you've done because of something unworthy about me in childhood, this is the most ultimate form of control. Why I can't pack my bags and leave. But what I can do is notice those cues. And children are very observant. They will notice what pulls a parent closer and maintains connection or what pushes the parent away. And then we become, right, shameful. If we don't have a parent that says, you know what, maybe I don't like what you've done. So to be clear, we have to, of course, you know, teach children boundaries and they have consequences if they do things. Shame is very healthy because it preserves bonds, right? We can't get rid of shame, but we can.

[Mayim Bialik]

It's identity, like healthier, right? We identify and I'm trying to think. You know, I once peaked on a spelling test. We used to have those desks where there was like a little shelf. There was like a little shelf underneath. And I was pretty sure I knew how to spell. I believe the word was disappointment, which is irony. The irony is not lost on me. And I just. I peaked and confirmed it. Right. And I ended up confessing because I felt guilt. Right? I felt guilt. But when I think about what is shame, you know, and she. And Mrs. Cass was. She was a wonderful, wonderful teacher. And you know, there was nothing negative that came of that. But what I can imagine would lead to shame is what's the matter with you? And if anyone has ever had that screamed in their face by an adult, what's the matter with you? Right? And that's shame, right? I'm bad, I'm the mistake, Right. It feels like a personal flaw. I'm reading the chart. You know, leads to hiding self criticism or withdrawal.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Oh, let's also factor in the school system too. Right. This is even beyond parenting in our homes. I mean, I'm just thinking even back to. Thankfully the school. School systems are somewhat changing and there's alternate schools you can go into to perhaps more individualize a child's needs.

[Mayim Bialik]

But when we grow up, still mostly for elite people.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Wasn't the case. Right. You know, and so children, I can't tell you, my partner, being one of them lollies, shares horrifying stories of. She was told very young that she did some aptitude test and when she was very young, she was told that she was going to be a tugboat captain. I mean, she. This lives in her mind until today. And she is the most brilliant. I mean, stands right next to me, builds this business. I mean, I look up to her in so many ways and so these things are so hard.

[Mayim Bialik]

Not that there's anything wrong with being.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

No, tugboat captains are great, you know, to all the tugboat captains out there. But I know it's not her body type. Just wouldn't be a tugboat captain. She's just not built for it. Life on the sea is not her. But that aside, you know what I mean? So it's like, it's sad the messages that were given. You know, sometimes I have a memory too of I. My mom demanded straight A's. My family did. And that's because again, they thought that, you know, success and achievement were the way to me to be financially secure in adulthood. Which they were somewhat wrong, but not in all ways. Oh. Anyway, it turns out that psychologists don't make all that much money.

[Mayim Bialik]

Nor do they need to get all A's.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Nor do they. But I have this memory again in a childhood I cannot recall yet I can recall the day that I did not get an A. I may have gotten like God, 78, say, for instance. And we had to have our test signed. And I was now met with the most ultimate dilemma. Do I tell my mom, right? And show my mom my 78 which isn't even like that bad of a grade, you know, I had, you know, it happens. It happens, you know, And I didn't instead. And my mom had the most horrible, hard signature to plagiarize.

[Mayim Bialik]

You forged her signature.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

And I did it so badly that I like wore the paper like it was so silly looking that I'm sure my teacher. I did not confess I was very good at hiding secrets. There's still time. My mom. I didn't surprise.

[Jonathan Cohen]

There isn't.

[Mayim Bialik]

It's true.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

And yeah, but I did. I. My teacher probably knew and felt bad for me because I always got straight 80s and nothing was ever said. But I remember the amount of stress and turmoil because I felt so shameful that this 78, where it was going to reflect so poorly on who I was and my mom wasn't going to love me anymore that I tortured myself to the extent that it's one of the few memories I have is like sitting there laboring over with white out, trying to sign my mom's day.

[Jonathan Cohen]

When we're talking about shame and when you were talking about, oh, it would have prevented you from pursuing the life that you ultimately have. Can you talk about how these unprocessed emotions, especially shame, can prevent us from. From following our instincts, following the life path. I believe that each one of us has a unique life path that we're here to experience. And it's by being able to follow the signpost, the moments of intuition that we get there. Can you talk about what it's like to have access to intuition and then what blocks that?

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Yeah. So just to kind of continue the conversation with shame. Shame is a shutdown, right. We're actually disconnecting from our intuition. So. Right. We begin to live in our mind separate from our body. Outsourcing, asking other people what they think as they're more worthy. And so we're not even tuning in to where intuition. Right. Lives inside of us. Some of us kind of take what I would call loosely the opposite.

[Mayim Bialik]

Right.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Where we are so tuned into someone else. Right. We're hypervigilant, we're Always scanning, always bracing, always looking for every shift in mood. Again, because at one time that unpredictability in our early environment, we need it to be attuned in that way, right? So now again, we're not only we're not, we're disconnected to some extent, but we're overly kind of like activated, we're misperceiving. I mean, there's really powerful studies where the more trauma, especially when it's relationally based, the more likely we are to misinterpret neutral stimuli as threatening, as aggressive, right? So now when we talk about instincts,

[Mayim Bialik]

that's having your guard up, having your back up, having your guard up, right?

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Thinking like you read earlier, you that everyone's unsafe, that the world is unsafe, that no one is trustworthy, even in a moment where there is safety that is present. So all of the adaptive ways that our nervous system learn to survive in unpredictability and unmet need, right, Follow us and then become what feels instinctual, right? Where we're just sure that we can't trust this person. We don't know why, right? Because they've not given us any logical reason not to trust them. It's just that feeling. So it's confusing, right, because we're like, oh, feelings are internal. It's my compass. And we have fused survival states for so long. Like we're talking about earlier with the jaw, right? Always being on guard has felt so normal that we do think it's our intuition talking that's telling us that no one is safe. But again, it is really an intuition that has been colored and is really a survival mode that is functioning.

[Mayim Bialik]

And also, and I think this speaks to kind of, you know, the whole concept of this book. And I want to get into reparenting next. But the notion that you think you're walking around with an inner child is incorrect. Your inner child is on the outside. It's interacting with every single person. It's getting offended, it's getting hurt, it's crying, it's not being able to regulate emotions. It's filling the God shaped hole. Your inner child's on the outside of you. So all of these wounds, right, that we think are inside and nobody needs to know and you don't need to know what my mom was like and like, I'm fine, right? You're just pissing them out all over the street.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

They're visible.

[Mayim Bialik]

You're not fooling anyone.

[Jonathan Cohen]

Can you take us a little bit further, one step further on this notion of intuition? What is it like to have Access to that inner compass.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Having access to an inner compass is having moments of calm, grounded presence. It's the ability to be flexible, right? We lose flexibility where we become certain things are all or nothing. We're just so sure that we know your motives, we lose kind of nuance. So we gain that we see possibility and alternate solutions too, right? We can become so locked and loaded.

[Mayim Bialik]

Creativity, right?

[Jonathan Cohen]

Can we expand on that part? Because I think that may be the biggest piece that people don't understand. We see our lives as they are, not what they might be able to be. And how does doing this work and reconnecting with that inner compass show us a much wider range of possibility?

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

So first, just kind of focusing on why we can't see or we limit sight. Again, a very practical, you know, kind of function of our nervous system is to do just that, shrink awareness so that all we're focusing on is what we need to focus on, which in a moment of stress is the threat at hands. Which is why we become hyper fixated on what's bothering us, what's upsetting us. We ruminate on it in our head, and we only then again can see very limited solutions, right? Usually what has once worked in the past again worked being used loosely, meaning the quickest way kept you alive, kept us alive. And the quickest way to ease the discomfort in that moment. But literally, our nervous system, our eyes even turn inward. We become hyper focused on what we need to focus on, which is the thing that's stressing us out. So then we limit, right. Any other possibility, solution factor that might be contributing to someone's behavior. And so until we, again, through not just insight, begin to practice regulating a nervous system by first noticing when we're stressed, right? Taking moments to rebuild a connection with our body so that we can determine how much stress we're under, right? If we are kind of in a moment of activation, I mean, I know more often than not in a moment of upset, I am certain that how I'm feeling is correct. I will always feel this way. The only solution usually is for you to do something different or say you're

[Mayim Bialik]

sorry or for us to break up

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

or oh, love that I even sometimes I'm so sor.

[Mayim Bialik]

Lolly.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

I will say this on air. I sometimes still throw that out, right. In a moment of upset. Why? Because that's what I learned in childhood, right? Oh, if this isn't working, any sign of tension or conflict, any sign of disagreement or definitely disappointment, I'm out. Right? And so my protection is to remove Myself emotionally or sometimes say something really hurtful like maybe this isn't going to work, you know, and that's not what I mean. Time goes by, I take a walk, I actually allow my body to calm down, and then I'm feeling a little bit cheap as shameful, right? Because I see another solution. I see a couple that very much loves each other, is safe and secure, but had a hard moment. How many times, right in time does our perspective naturally shift?

[Mayim Bialik]

That's something that so many of us never had modeled. And I guess it depends what generation you're growing up in. But most of us never had healthy emotional regulation modeled and definitely not repair, right?

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

What to do after, right?

[Mayim Bialik]

Like anger. Like, I don't know what anger is supposed to look like.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

No. My mom would give me the silent treatment. And then sometimes days, weeks, even months if it was a really bad thing, like when I came out, which was not to be, you know, not the desired outcome. And then it was as if just one day, just out of nowhere, we're just talking again, right? So no resolution.

[Mayim Bialik]

That's crazy making. I mean, that's reality bending, right?

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

It's reality bending, right? You're left to wonder. I mean, obviously you get the sense that you cause that in, you know, you caught. So what happens now? Any movement of distance, right? Eye or tension, or you're not responding to me in the way or as quickly as I want, right? The inner child is there, and it's like, oh, I know what this means. This means you did wrong, Nicole. This means you did bad. And sometimes, right, the best solution is to push you away before I'm hurt even more.

[Jonathan Cohen]

And it will happen in friendships. It will happen in work dynamics. It will happen with other family members that are not your children, your cousins. Like, it happens everywhere.

[Mayim Bialik]

Well, because you're the common denominator.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

And how often at work, right? Feedback comes and you're convinced you're losing your job. You get an email about a standard meeting tomorrow, and you're spiraling, right?

[Mayim Bialik]

Or you want to quit or you're gonna leave, right?

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Screw you. I'll leave you first before you fire me. When in reality, like, there's a part of your mind maybe that knows you're doing well at work, you just got a great evaluation. But in that moment, right, the inner child is online and is convinced that someone's mad at you, that you're not, you know, appropriate at this job anymore.

[Jonathan Cohen]

And if you're trying to do your own thing, if you're an entrepreneur, you're like, well, how do I see a solution to problem? Life is really just a series of problems that we have to navigate and a series of disconnections. And if we don't know how to navigate those disconnections, then we don't have options in front of us. My Embialix breakdown is supported by Bioptimizers

[Mayim Bialik]

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[Jonathan Cohen]

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[Mayim Bialik]

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[Jonathan Cohen]

After you sign up, they'll ask you how you heard about them. Make sure to mention this podcast to support the show. My Ambulance Breakdown is supported by no cd.

[Mayim Bialik]

I'm wondering if you've ever found yourself stuck replaying a conversation over and over cuz you want to be completely sure that your friend doesn't secretly hate you? Or have you ever spent hours researching a minor ache or pain, even when the doctor said you're fine because you seem to have doubts and fears that will not go away? Well, you might be surprised to learn that experiences like that a distressing unwanted thought getting stuck in your mind and you feeling like you've got to do something to solve it or stop it or be like a hundred percent sure about it. These can all be signs of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or ocd. OCD is nothing like the stereotypes that you've heard of like oh I like things organized. Real OCD is actually a serious condition that can kind of focus on anything. It could be your morals, your relationships, your identity, your sense of reality. What makes it so debilitating is the that it often fixates on exactly the things that you care about the most. I have OCD myself, so I know it's very misunderstood. It's hard to even figure out what's going on, let alone get the right kind of help. I'm here to tell you about NO C D. That's the world's leading provider of specialized OCD treatment. All of their licensed therapists go through extensive specialty training to identify and effectively treat ocd. Help you manage it so you can get your life back in live face to face virtual sessions. They help you reclaim your time, your confidence and your freedom. NOCD is also covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans. That includes support between sessions. You never have to face OCD alone. If any of this sounds like you or maybe someone you love, NOCD can help. Book a free 15 minute call to get started at learn.nocd.com break that's learn.nocd.com Break Talk about the different kind of spheres, right? The spheres that we operate in that we kind of as primates need to operate in. And the section of the book that is dedicated to reparenting methodically and really beautifully goes through each of these spheres, right? So if this is a desire that was quashed, here are the exercises, the thoughts, the, the actions you can take to repair that. And you go through each of the spheres. So we're not going to be able to get into all of them. But I wonder if you can talk a little bit for people who again might kind of like me, roll their eyes at this notion of like reparenting. That sounds so soft, right? It sounds like I don't have access to that. You talk about reparenting as rewiring and I feel like that's a really great place for you to help us understand why this isn't some like floofy. Get in touch with your inner child and kumbaya. This is like your brain is operating a certain way. And if you are having any dissatisfaction within yourself, in your relationships, at your work, with friendships, if something's not right, if people are accusing you of being sensitive or reactive or aggressive, or you feel like your pickers off with who you're dating, right? It's likely because there's something going on that is wired into your system. How does reparenting change that wiring?

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Yeah. So those dysfunctional habits, right. Usually come online in moments where there's a similarity to those earliest experience, whether the similarity is the first sphere that I talk about. The foundation of any change is creating safety and security in our body, reconnecting with it first, right? Noticing when our body is feeling unsafe, noticing when our muscles are clenching, our heart is racing, our breath is quickening, or we're holding our breath and slowing down our movement, slowing down our breathing, right? Releasing that tension not just one time, but it consistently over time, right? Where we're sending signals. So this is right for all the people who are like, I know I'm safe, but I can't rest, I can't relax, I can't sleep at night. Right. I know my partner is coming home to me, yet I have all of these racing thoughts of how unsafe I am. So by noticing, of course, all change begins with awareness first, then choosing small shifts that we can make to create safety. Because with reparenting really is. It's a journey where we're kind of accompanying ourself on development and becoming the safe, nurturing, compassionate, supportive, not only in thought, but in action caregiver. And that thought piece is important because once we have an understanding of right. These were habits that were formed in an environment where safety was scarce or unpredictable or security or I could not just show up or I didn't feel worthy being who I am. Right? So for a lot of us, that. That part of us gives us compassion for these parts because I think we're all agreeing they're not going away. We keep ourselves, though, disconnected from our fullness when we're shaming those parts, when we're not understanding that some. For some of us, our inner critic is that the intention of it is protection. Right? We learned in childhood that being a little too dramatic caused mom to scream or yell or for me to stop talking to me. So I learned to be a little less dramatic. Now I have that voice that's reminding me of what's going to happen when I'm too dramatic. Right? That is protection. So everything that we're struggling with, if we can just soften to the reality that A, it's there, B, it's there for a reason, Right? It formed at a time where that's the only option we had. That was what we needed to do to create safety. And then C, expand our awareness to the possibility that we can begin to show up in a new way. Because that's what reparenting and healing really is. It's learning how to experience the current moment in a new way with a new choice.

[Jonathan Cohen]

And I think it's important to emphasize that you don't need to heal all of your trauma before you notice any difference, Right? It's like when we say you need to calm down, you need to relax. We're not saying that you have to be in a relaxed state all the

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

time, and nor can you. So another disclaimer here is, there is no. I have not found. If any listeners have, please the holistic psychologist, please find me. There is no kind of, I'm done, I'm healed, I'm kumbayaz. And all the time the human experience is colored with difficulty, with emotion, with struggles, with disconnection, with disagreement, right? So the goal is to just equipped ourselves to show up with intention and alignment, right? Where I can choose how I want to move forward. And the reality of it is, is change does come in gradually. It doesn't happen in one lightning strike of a dramatic, insightful moment where now the wand has been waved and I just totally feel differently. And more often than not, we don't feel differently for some time, right? We have to show up. And this is what I think prevents a lot of us from starting, myself included. I want to wait until I feel like starting or until I feel inspired, until I maybe feel comfortable speaking publicly to bring my story back, right?

[Mayim Bialik]

I.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

If I would have been waiting for that, I would still be waiting, right? I had to show up uncomfortably at first, right? Talk myself off of every ledge of how terrible I am and what people are going to think, sometimes even get verified about how terrible I am and what people think, right? And I had to keep doing it anyway. Right? Now, my speech, my experience and my feeling has begun to shift. But again, if we go in with the expectation to wait till we feel differently, that it's not gonna take committed action, we're going to continue to be frustrated or maybe blame the world around

[Mayim Bialik]

us, like, guess what? This is life, right? Meaning, like, there's not. I mean, obviously there's a beginning and we're kind of always in the middle, but we never know when the end is, right? So the work that we're doing, like, that's the work of your life. So every relationship that you're in, that's an opportunity to practice. And for those of us who, you know, think of a higher power or of God, like God or the universe. If you don't like God, the universe will keep giving you an opportunity.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Sure it will.

[Mayim Bialik]

To repair, right? It will keep saying, how about now? How about now? Like, we're trying to give you the lesson, correct? This is the story of the flood, right? And the fireman knocks on the door, and the guy's like, God's gonna save me. And then like, a boat comes along and he's like, God's gonna save me. Helicopter. He's like, God's gonna save me. And he gets to heaven and God says, I sent you a fireman. I sent you a boat, and I sent you a helicopter. Like, what? You know, reach your hand out, right? So this is kind of that work. It will follow you. It's. You know, emotions are like pee, right? You can try and hold them in, but they're gonna come out.

[Jonathan Cohen]

I'll share a personal experience of something that, that I think I experienced very early in my life that repeated and repeated and repeated. And it's going to tie back to this idea of sibling abuse, which I think a lot of people haven't even considered that someone very close to them could be causing a huge emotional conflict. I had a very intense relationship with my older brother. I loved him unconditionally, like he was the greatest thing in the world. And also he was much bigger than me. And I almost as a way to interact with him when he was ignoring me. I would taunt him like crazy, and then he would attack me, and then I'd be really upset. And we had this back and forth dynamic. And especially as we got older, like, I. Like he would hurt me. The rage I felt towards him was like, no rage I could possibly ever experience. Because I loved him so much that when he got to that place where I was so physically hurt, I was like. I was just be. Like, I was out of my mind angry. That rage followed me into another relationship years and years later. And that person angered me like no one else. And most people who know me, they're like, I've never seen you mad. I've never seen you.

[Mayim Bialik]

I've seen you mad.

[Jonathan Cohen]

It takes a lot of. It takes a lot. When that anger would come out, it would, like, it was like a mystery. It's like, where did that come from? Why would something so innocuous seem to anger me so much? So the first moment, and you never

[Mayim Bialik]

connected it to this?

[Jonathan Cohen]

Never connected it. And I thought it was the person's problem who I was dealing with. Like, why are they acting like this? This is so unreasonable. And like, in the worst of it, when I was really in conflict, very rarely would I externalize anger. It would just be stuff I would feel inside. I threw my phone across a room. It hit a brick wall. The phone cracked. And I'm like, this is maybe a sign that things need to shift.

[Mayim Bialik]

I've broken many phones. He's an amateur.

[Jonathan Cohen]

The beginning of the shift was to identify and say, okay, externalizing that rage is a red circle behavior. I don't want to get there. So I have to identify, oh, wait a second, I am now experiencing something that is likely not attributed to that person. There is something happening going on here. It's historical and I have to pull back. Doesn't mean the anger goes away. Doesn't mean that. But, but I put some parameters on myself like a child who is going to tantrum. You're allowed to be upset that you're not allowed to break the house. And starting to work with that part to say, okay, I acknowledge it, I see it. And so when you're talking about first identifying it as we have to be aware of it, well, how do we start to then contain ourselves and provide that container?

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

I mean, anchor is an incredibly important motivating emotion. It signals when our boundaries are being crossed and when our needs have gone unmet for too long. It is kind of the final stop. And I, like you have, have had a habit of, and this kind of like collude it with my, you know, desire to overanalyze. I, my habit is to zoom out when any, anytime someone did anything that possibly could have been upsetting to me, whatever the upset might have been in a moment, and explain away my upset to the extent of like over understanding. Oh, well, right. This is, and this has followed me up until even like you're saying things don't go away. They just. The universe says here again, here again, here again. Right. So a more recent relationship. Right. Explained away because I had understanding of this person's past and what caused them to have these explosive moments. And so I know they didn't mean it and it wasn't about me. And so I made it, I removed me from the equation and I overstepped in my own boundary. So to be clear, some of us think a boundary is about putting an ultimatum or an expectation on someone else. No, it's me saying, oh, I'm not going to, you know, be involved or communication with you when you're at this state of elevation. I'm going to remove communication myself. But I didn't do that because I held space and I held space and I held understanding and I held understanding. And then what I got done with it and then I became, and you're holding it all great person who's screaming and yelling and maybe throwing a thing or two myself, you know, in a understandable moment of pent up anger that came from so many moments where I removed myself, my needs, my perspective from even the conversation.

[Jonathan Cohen]

And you become unreasonable and then you tried to help with you.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

You know, why are you, are you acting like this now, you're the problem. And in reality, yes, I was acting in a problematic way. 100 but my problem started in childhood where I couldn't say, hey, I understand that you're not equipped, you know, mom or dad to show up in the way that I want it. But, you know, like, I still need it. These things. And my needs are now unmet and I need to find a way and take responsibility. Right. To find safety in myself and other relationships with people who aren't either explosive outward or disconnecting so that I have to manage you.

[Mayim Bialik]

Jonathan, thank you for sharing. Also, so honestly about this kind of sibling dynamic. This is not something that people like to talk about and we're glad that you do talk about it. Can you talk a little bit about the difference between normal sibling tension, rough housing, fighting, what constitutes sibling abuse and what additionally does that do to one's inner child? I guess both inner children. Right.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Thank you, Jonathan, for sharing that. Because I think it is something that isn't talked about because it's shameful. Because it again, I think people assume then, if one is to acknowledge that they were abused at the hand of their siblings, that somehow the parents are at fault. Which isn't to say that again, parents do play a role. And of course, you know, there is modeling of behaviors and actions and you know, that are then repeated again, so many dynamics.

[Mayim Bialik]

But a lot of times kids are also playing out tension in the home.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Exactly. So say it's kind of the tension or the dynamics that they see or tension that they're experiencing at school is now coming home and bullying. Or again, the parents doesn't have tools themselves, so they're maybe engaging in different bullying behaviors and then the child is enacting it because again, children don't have language, they don't have logic. They are just being the reaction.

[Jonathan Cohen]

Also, the children may be playing out and then the parents get back and they don't know what actually happened.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Right. So. So there is normal children developing alongside of each other. Of course there's going to be developmental challenges. There's going to be birth order challenges. Again, personality differences, personality differences, attention differ differences. Right. Children are attuned to the child who gets different treatment by parents or is, you know, kind of. There's so much that will then play out between siblings. So to be clear, you know, disagreements, conflicts, like any relationship, that is a normal part, especially when you're living in the pressure cooker, especially around some developmental ages like pre adolescence. Adolescence. Right. A lot of hormones every year of Their life, all of it. Right. I, I have two older siblings, but they are so older, 15 and 18 years older than me. That is as if I am an only child. So it's very unique experience. So I'm like, I have siblings, but it's not, we never had that. Like, I can't relate to like the sisterly, brotherly dynamic that some people can. But there is still a limit where it does cross over and into abusive behaviors, which can sometimes look like physical violence. Right. Where there's like physical escalations, altercations, it can look like, like more emotional where there is teasing or, you know, kind of defamatory statements or name calling, there can be ostracism if there's multiple children, right. Where one child is left out and there's just so many, again, interpersonal dynamics that will come and especially come out in the home again that trickle down, you know, that a parent will often be modeling directly or indirectly or be the result of a child not having an outlet for the feeling.

[Mayim Bialik]

And also, just to clarify, you're not saying that all teasing is abusive, you're saying that there's a level that, that can go to among siblings where it, it crosses that line 100.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

A lot of it has to do, right. With the person experience and frequency and

[Mayim Bialik]

intensity, the teasing too.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Right. You know, like there can be good natured fun and then teasing where the person is or says or is, is clearly uncomfortable and it is kind of crossing beyond good nature. But yeah, frequency, duration, things like that.

[Mayim Bialik]

Things like that.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

And especially if and when the child acknowledges, hey, this is hurting, stop, hey, this is making me uncomfortable. And it, then when it continues, then I would say that's a good marker that it is.

[Mayim Bialik]

How prevalent is sibling abuse, do you think?

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

I think it's probably more prevalent than we can even imagine because I think very few people, you know, want to share. It's kind of like, like it's hard sometimes for some of us to share our parents and what really happened or didn't happen in our home because again, we want to protect, we don't want to. We feel shameful that we've allowed those things to happen. Right.

[Mayim Bialik]

Or it happened without our purview.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Right. All of, for all of the reasons. So I don't know if there's like a person, a number that has even been landed on, but I would have the idea if there were to be a number out there that would probably be lower than. Because again, children are learning and they're taking in and they don't have and a lot of times again, children are spending more time with the siblings and the parents. If parents aren't physically present in the home or emotionally present most of their time, I have the idea at least or with their siblings. So those then become the relationships where these dynamics play out.

[Jonathan Cohen]

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[Mayim Bialik]

let's be honest, we all have that moment. For me, it's usually a couple hours after lunch. I'm in the middle of a workday and suddenly the focus just starts wandering and something salty or sweet or usually both start starts calling my name. I've learned that pretending I don't want a treat just makes me think about it more. So instead of ignoring the craving, I've decided to plan for it. And that is why we are so excited about Cachava's new coffee flavor. It delivers bold, authentic flavor and benefits. Jonathan loves the smooth flavor of Cachava's premium decaffeinated Brazilian beans. I'm always talking to Jonathan about the negative effects of a late afternoon coffee. I'm so happy to see him reaching for Cacava's coffee flavored Super Blend Shake instead to satisfy his craving while supporting his whole body nutrition.

[Jonathan Cohen]

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[Mayim Bialik]

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[Jonathan Cohen]

my imbalance breakdown is supported by Odoo.

[Mayim Bialik]

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[Jonathan Cohen]

My Mbialix breakdown is supported by Incogni.

[Mayim Bialik]

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[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Yeah. I mean, the first thing I want to say to that is nothing degrees respect more than physical violence or boundaryless behavior in that way, because that's what that is. It's a boundary violation. You've crossed the physical line and you've hit me and caused harm. In addition, it activates when someone is under physical assault, even when it's with a parent, which is even more confusing then, right? When the person that's supposed to love and care and support and protect you is now the person whose hand is causing you now physical pain, right? That immediately will even just a hand coming at you, right? Our nervous system that now is the threat. The hand doesn't matter that it's attached to my mom or my dad. It's. It's a threatening hand. So now my nervous system is activated, right? I'm in a threatened state. And that is not going to elicit the respect that we're looking for.

[Mayim Bialik]

And that's not teaching resilience because a lot of people will say, the world's hard, you gotta be prepared. And that's gonna just, you know, get

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

you ready for life to be clear. Boundaries teach resilience, right? Limits of two behavior, right? Teaching a child that a stove is hot, right? Limits the child's ability to be burnt or the possibility that the child is burned. So limits are absolutely right. But I think the question here is, how do I, how do I kind of communicate the limits and then the consequences when limits are passed? And again, to be clear, physical violence is going to scare a child and not elicit the respect we're needing. So it's about, you know, communicating, right. Actions that have consequences, right? And allowing to some extent, when it's safe and appropriate, right? The child to live the consequence of the action and also to be the home safe base, right? When a child is overwhelmed and needs to then come back. But we need limits and we need to. And we can communicate, right? Consequences of actions in a different way that doesn't activate because again, when a child is scared or threatened or abused by a parent, right now we have such a conflict that quite literally their biological wiring is saying, no, this is the person that you need to connect to, right? That's your safe space. And at the same time, it's saying, but don't get too close, right? Because this person, if you act poorly or wrong or whatever, they're just in a bad mood from work. I mean, sometimes it's not even really you at all, right? Then they also could be the cause of your trauma and your wounding. And so now, right, we create a conflict within ourselves where again, as a child, we can't see our parent realistically or we can't allow in their inadequacy or their abusive behavior because that feels even scarier and more threatening, right? So we idealize them and degrade or shame ourselves.

[Mayim Bialik]

And that kind of confusion is sort of like the best way to wound the inner child. That is that confusion. And even like when parents are, you know, even if there's not sexual abuse. Right. If there's boundary boundaries crossed in terms of what you know about them or their lives or there's comments or there's things. Those kinds of boundaries can be very confusing for a child. Right. And confusion is very upsetting to that inner child.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Yeah. And so can a lack of. While you're just communicating. Confusion came to mind. So can a lack of conversation. Right. I think some of us were raised with parents who didn't want to the child to be exposed to anything. Everything happened between closed doors. Yet you knew that mom and dad were in a fight behind the doors because you felt the tension or you heard the yelling and then they come out like, don't say anything. So can silence. Right. So sometimes. Right. Boundaries and what's happening and just realistically communicating, you know, what is happening. No. Nothing can be more confusing, especially in a divorce. Right. When a child isn't told why separation is happening, a child will assume that they're the cause of it.

[Mayim Bialik]

Oh, nobody knows what to tell kids.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Right. Even just acknowledging that it's not you. It can be as simple as we don't have to tell what happened in the relationship, but, hey, I see you, I hear you. It's not you. It's okay to be sad. I might still hate the partner that I separated from, but I can understand why you still love your co, you know, the parent. And so there's just so much that, you know, parents, I think, again, try to do with well and good intentions. But even hitting right to some extent, the intention is to, you know, have a child who does not do unsafe things and has a resilience and can cope with the world. But that is, again, it is not the path to create that or instill that or even model that for a child.

[Mayim Bialik]

You talk about shadow work. What would you like us to know about the forces that are operating that we don't see that may be having more of an impact on our lives than we even realize?

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Yeah. I think the takeaway for this whole conversation, I hope, is that there are forces that we're not seeing. Right. One of which is known as this kind of shadow or this, like, dark side. Even just kind of springboarding from the conversation about shame. A lot of what is contained in our shadow or all of those qualities or attributes about ourself that weren't welcome, that did get us rejection or abandoned or shamed or ridiculed or abused in some way. Right. We've marked them as, you know, intolerable, unacceptable. They are still part of who we Are, but because we've, you know, kind of been told that they are inappropriate in whatever way, we continue to keep them kind of of below the surface. Feeling again that if we were to share those aspects of ourself that we would be shamed and abandoned just like we once were. And then something else magical that we do with them is we project our shadow onto other people. And so we can tell but with our reactions sometimes to other people, right. Sometimes the things that bother us about,

[Mayim Bialik]

oh, you spot it, you got it.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Is the thing that we're kind of desperate to hide or desperately want to see within ourselves.

[Mayim Bialik]

Can you give us some examples? Like, is this the same as like the disowned self, the exiled self? Is that what these.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Because yeah, this is common to those similar to those concepts.

[Mayim Bialik]

And those are going to depend on the family. Like, so, for example, if you're in a family where being loud is not appreciated, right.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Loud people will be the band of your existence. What's with, oh, they're so, so rude. So, you know, brass or whatever it is that you might call that person to too much. Right. So it. We can kind of project loudness onto other people.

[Mayim Bialik]

So that's my shadow being.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

That's my right. The things that we are annoyed. For me, my shadow does not like when people can directly assert their needs. It can even be something helpful. I think you're selfish. Who are you? How dare you? You're inconsiderate. Another thing I love to write really, because there's a part of me that desperately wants to be able to be assertive in that way. And I am still learning how that to communicate my needs in a way that doesn't come out explosively or not come out at all because.

[Mayim Bialik]

Well, and I think this is like one of the most helpful kind of guideposts for the work that you do and the work that you share with people. Like, guess what? The way you're interacting with other people, even the things that bother you about other people, is actually not about them. And it's not necessarily about acceptance, right. Because some people would say like, oh, you need to be in acceptance and nothing will bother you. But this is about if you spot it, you've got it. And what part of you hates the things that you hate in other people about yourself or what were you not allowed to express?

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Right.

[Mayim Bialik]

I was recently talking with a family member of mine and we were talking about the different relationships our family has to money because there was none. So when there's poverty, right, you either have people who continue that poverty mindset and adjust it and kind of try and hide it. Right. Or you have people who are like, fuck it, I'll just spend it, all right. Like, once it exists. And so you have these two reactions that are both kind of the same thing. I'm afraid that there's not enough. Right. And so when you see people, if you're the poverty mindset person who's continued it, people who spend are frivolous and they're disgusting, wasteful. Because you've disowned the part of yourself that deserves to have your needs met financially.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Right.

[Jonathan Cohen]

Help us leave this conversation with some

[Mayim Bialik]

hope, a glimmer of hope for what

[Jonathan Cohen]

life can be like. We've established that it's never going to be the perfect scenario, but give us a sense of what you hope for people to do this work and on the other side, what they can experience.

[Mayim Bialik]

Yeah.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

On the other side of this work is life, so to speak. Right? Is a life of connection, of awareness, of joy, sorrow. Right? All of these very complicated human emotions, again, that none of us get a guidebook for. It's. That is what is creating this human experience. I think we're all trying to figure out why we're here. And I think to some extent it's for this reason, right? To have these more tangible experiences, to have an opportunity to learn and grow from another person. I mean, it really is. Relationships are mirrors. They are reflection, right? They bring up parts of us that we didn't know existed that we can be proud of, and parts of us that we didn't know existed that we could, you know, kind of shift and change. It brings awareness for some of us who aren't certain of who we are and what we're doing, and awareness of who we are and what we want and our desires, which then leads to fulfillment of those desires and purpose and passion. And to be clear, it doesn't have to be lived on a huge, you know, grand stage. Like, you know, we're obviously here doing this more publicly, but I mean, purpose is just showing up in our own creative action and impacting the lives around us. We become then reconnected to kind of all that is, whatever the language we want to give, but the fact that we are not alone, even those of us that feel so deeply alone. I can't. I remember throughout, up until my 30s, really, I was a little girl living in New York, feeling alone in a crowded room, no matter who was around me at all times, right? So. So we can re. Establish a connection that even if we are living alone for whatever reason, that we are connected to something beyond ourselves and kind of a transcendental state of just greater, you know, knowing. I do think that that's possible for all of us as we begin the journey. And the final takeaway is, again, there's not a, like, too late, it's done. I'm setting in stone. Even though some of our parents. My dad likes to tell me how he just is how he is because he's 88 years old, old now. And we might hear that from some loved ones, though the reality is we can truly create change and impact and transform at any time.

[Mayim Bialik]

I'm also 88 years old, so I do believe I can change. I highly recommend, and I've already recommended this book to many, many people because so many of us also were, like, doing the work and we're like going to 12 step and we have therapy and we're doing somatic work and we're trying to take the supplement. But honestly, like, this book, it's a workbook. This is the kind of thing we need. This is that you had a life and you went to school and you got this degree, but you didn't decide to save it only for yourself. And this book is a way. Like, this is it. Purchase this book, download this book. It's a workbook, and if you work through it, treat it like it's your therapy. If you cannot afford therapy, we know there's a lot of people who can't. This, this is what you do in therapy. Treat it like it's serious work and all of it's in there. Do the questions, do the exercises. Learn to calm your vagus nerve down. This is really it. So really, really, it's. It's a fantastic book and your practice is unbelievable. I also can't believe that you copywrote holistic psychologist and that gets to be your name. It's amazing.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

I know I could have believed it. That's you. Yes, I know when I first saw, I felt like, okay, now the universe is telling me I have to do this too. Because who would have ever thought that six years ago no one was kind of thinking in this way? I mean, it blew my mind and it was the universe begrudgingly telling me to walk.

[Mayim Bialik]

It's amazing. Thank you so much. Dr. Nicole Lapara. Thank you so much.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

Thank you both for having me. This is really great.

[Mayim Bialik]

I absolutely see this as not even the future of growth. It's the present of growth you cannot avoid. Like, you can, you can try and avoid it, but yeah, you can't avoid all of these patterns. You know, I think of people who are really into cognitive behavioral therapy, which I absolutely believe in, and I think it's very useful. But I think in some cases, it really does make sense to say, not that my parents were wrong and not that I'm broken, but to say, oh, this is why that happened. Like when you shared that realization you had that you were having anger that you even realized was not proportional to the situation. For you to be able to say, ah, it's old, you know, and. And I think you've done some healing from that as well. Sometimes just learning about it is actually transformative, you know?

[Jonathan Cohen]

Absolutely. And if you're someone who is spiritual, who wants to get in touch with their intuition, who likes to think about consciousness and how the universe works, guess what? Your universe, your individual, personal world, is being impacted by this.

[Mayim Bialik]

Yes. And I think this is a really. This is a great place to start. And, yes, from this leads to being more in touch with yourself, knowing who you are, knowing what your needs are, knowing where you keep getting blocked, and possibly even knowing why jobs aren't working for you, relationships aren't working for you, and why your path isn't working for you. It's literally the path to intuition.

[Jonathan Cohen]

It's about knowing how you interpret the world. If you think, oh, my gosh, that person is some way, guess what, it's likely the result of something going on inside of you.

[Mayim Bialik]

Really hope you check out Reparenting the inner child. So grateful we finally got to speak to Dr. Lapera. I think that's it. We hope you join us on substack. We've got a really, really great bonus content from this episode where Dr. Lupera walks us through three vagus nerve exercises to try and encourage your body to rewire.

[Jonathan Cohen]

Additionally, on a substack live where Mayim and I break down these episodes and expand on the content that we talk about here, we're gonna touch on Glimmers, a practice that allow you to find little moments of awe in the world that actually activate you on a emotional level, on a biological level, and help you feel more alive. Join us Mayimbial's breakdown on substack.

[Mayim Bialik]

And from our breakdown to the one we hope you never have. We'll see you next time.

[Jonathan Cohen]

It's Maya Bialik's breakdown.

[Dr. Nicole Lapera]

She's gonna break it down for you.

[Athletic Brewing Co. Announcer]

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