
Welcome back to another wild episode of NDS Chronicles! In this installment, we dive into your submitted paranormal stories, from spirit box mishaps to shadowy figures and full-on spiritual warfare. Join us as we read chilling tales, including Big...
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Top Lobster
Top Lobster Productions.
David
We are being hypnotized by people like this. News readers, politicians, teachers, lecturers. We are in a country and in a world that is being run by unbelievably sick people. The chasm between what we're told is going on and what is really going.
Top Lobster
On is absolutely enormous. Oh yeah, dude, there's some Nephilim shit.
David
It's like we all know what's going down but no one's saying what happened to the home of the brave? They control us now when no one's talking about how they made us finally slaves. And everybody's just walking around heading the clouds and wanna waken to a dead in the grave. But then it's too late. We need to be ready to raise up. Welcome to the end of days. Everybody is slaves. Only some are aware that the government releasing poison in the air. Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to another episode of NDS Chronicles.
Top Lobster
Another.
David
Another one. Another one.
Top Lobster
We're back.
David
The one where we read your stuff. You submit stuff and we read it. Hopefully it's of a paranormal nature. If not, I guess send it. We'll still read it. Before we get into today's show, I would like to remind all of our live guests that this is a 30 minute preview only. Sometime around the 30 minute mark, we'll be going live exclusively to patreon.com nephilimdeathsquad where you can continue watching along, enjoying an ad free viewing experience, sounding off in the chat and gaining early access to the episode before the general public. And you can do all that for free? That's right. Sign up for a seven day free trial and try to absorb as much content as you possibly can before the billing cycle kicks in. And that is our challenge to you. And we bet you that you can't do it. And hopefully if you can do it, you like it enough that you stick around.
Top Lobster
We know they can't do it.
David
They can't do it. It's too much. It's too much content.
Top Lobster
Even if they were to theoretically listen to and watch everything we said, would they really have absorbed it in the question?
David
No. No. Actually, when I listen to podcasts, I. I absorb maybe 15 of what actually happens on the podcast. So if they're anything like me, the answer is no. And by the time they're done, we'll have made like exponentially more content.
Top Lobster
All right, we're having audio issues as usual. We'll figure this out. David is a. David is like a.
David
Very loud shutting down, trailing.
Top Lobster
Should I whisper? Can you talk can you talk like a normal person?
David
I can talk like a normal person. Is this better? Madden Echo sounds good. I wonder if we're coming through the.
Top Lobster
Maybe we're coming through something else. No, go ahead.
David
Keep talking. Okay. Sorry, guys. We're. We're in the middle of trying to. We don't really do a lot of IRL content. And this is why. No, but there's just different settings, you know, when you have two people in the same room? You know what's crazy is through these headphones, I can hear. I don't know if you guys can. I can hear everything that's going on in Todd's house. It's very jarring. Sounds like a computer mic. We might be coming through the computer mic.
Top Lobster
Oh, that. That actually is true. I wonder if we are coming through the computer mike. Let's see.
David
Give me a second. Here we are.
Top Lobster
All right, here we are. How about now, fellas?
David
Is that better? Do we sound. You can hear the kids, too now. You shouldn't be able to hear the kids. Yeah, I think we figured it out, guys. Hopefully you didn't miss the intro. But it's the same intro, like, every day.
Top Lobster
Let's do it again. Let's do it again.
David
All right, guys. Welcome to Nephilim Death Squad or NDS Chronicles, the show where stuff. I'm not gonna do it again.
Top Lobster
Do it again. No Patreon.
David
I want to tell them about Big Meat Soda.
Top Lobster
We've got Patreon.
David
Oh, that's right. Patreon.com Desk Seven days, free trial.
Top Lobster
You can sign up and then. And become a member there or whatever. See, we're very good now.
David
Everybody likes it. Still sounds retarded.
Top Lobster
I don't. Like I hear David. Like, I hear him loud in my ears. It's worse than usual, but it's fine. It's just because I try to figure it out. Is it because the audio is. Or is it because it's just David, but still sounds gay, so that means we're right on target. Speaking of gay, we're gonna get into somebody.
David
Oh, thank you.
Top Lobster
Submitted something in January. January 23rd.
David
Was it January? Good God. I gotta, like, pull one of these headphones off. These are crazy headphones. They're cutting in and out, and it's driving me nuts. But that's okay. We're gonna read. This is. Yeah. Was it as far back as January? Yeah, we really don't get around to this very often. Yeah, January 23rd. And you think that it would have tripped our sensors, considering this dude's Name is Big Meat.
Top Lobster
Doesn't matter.
David
Doesn't matter.
Top Lobster
Literally doesn't matter. I saw it. I was like, copy paste. Put it in the file. We're gonna read it eventually.
David
Eventually.
Top Lobster
This guy's name has the. Has the nerve to call himself Big Meat.
David
Well, to be fair, yeah, yeah.
Top Lobster
Underscore Soda. I don't know what the fuck that means.
David
I kind of like him. Should I start it off?
Top Lobster
Yes, please start.
David
Okay, we're gonna start it off, guys. It says, what's up, fellas? What's up, Big Meat? Big Meat. Underscore Soda here. I've got a scary come to Jesus moment. I hope you guys find this intriguing. I mean, I'm already. We're off to a good start. Big Meat Soda. I. I mean, personally, for me, that really does. It says, in my teens, I was interested in the paranormal cons. Oh, I was. Yeah. I was interested in the paranormal consuming shows like ghost hunters and YouTube ghost adventurers that would mess around communicating with the paranormal. My brother and I would try to convince each other if it was faked or it was legit. Okay. All right. So he's talking about kind of the heyday of, like, Fox Family before it became ABC Family, when everything was like, ghost adventurers.
Top Lobster
Right, right.
David
Did you watch that stuff growing up?
Top Lobster
No, not really. I watched. I watched, like, Home Improvement and What was that other one with the. The wife? The Al Bundy. Oh, Love and Marriage.
David
Love and Marriage. Dude, you're talking about shows that existed in, like, the late 90s and early 90s. I'm talking about, like, 2005.
Top Lobster
I don't know what I was doing in 2005. You don't remember all those? Yeah, no. What was he doing here? I'm not paying attention. What did he say?
David
Focus. He says, in my teens, I was interested in the paranormal consuming shows like ghost adventurers and YouTube. YouTubers that would mess around and communicate with the paranormal. My brother and I would try to convince each other if it was fake or it was legit. The only way I would find out for sure if all this paranormal stuff was just for entertainment purposes or reality is to try it myself.
Top Lobster
Of course.
David
Of course. That's the only way you're going to find out, right? Verifiable. You got to go out into the world. You got to verify.
Top Lobster
Yeah, I wasn't doing that. I wasn't interested in this stuff in 05.
David
Something tells me that Big Meat Soda is a white dude, because this, I'll admit, in that time period, this is a white person. Exclusive Sport. And I was partaking, for what it's worth, for half of my white ethnicity. So he says, I bought the SB7 spirit box.
Top Lobster
Spirit box.
David
Okay.
Top Lobster
Okay.
David
I tried it out for about two weeks and nothing happened. A little bit of research later, I found the key to making it work. And so starts a string of events that I was not prepared for. Wow.
Top Lobster
What's the key to make it work?
David
I would like to know what the key is to make it work. But in the same breath I kind of go like, oh, you. You messed around with spirits. And then what is the word he used here? He goes, a string of events that I was not prepared for.
Top Lobster
Like, yeah, like the guy we just interviewed, he's like, I've been summoning demons and writing their sigils in crops and now there's some poltergeist activity. I don't really know why.
David
I would love to know. By the way to the chat. Hi, guys. If you saw that last episode where we, we talked to D. He just, he chose to remain anonymous. And he was talking big D. Yeah. Not to be confused with Big Meat. And he was telling us that people are making these crop circles predominantly, but they're being like, I don't know, not inspired, but they're being like they're feeling a calling.
Top Lobster
Yeah. It's like they're receiving a download to do it. It's kind of weird.
David
I thought that was a really wild episode. But okay. So the string of events that he was not prepared for after I got in contact with my spirit guy.
Top Lobster
This dude is retarded.
David
No, no, he goes. Or so I thought. Or so I thought. That's fair, right? I mean, you know, at the time you might think one thing, and then hindsight, the spirit box started to work like crazy. After he got in touch with his spirit guide. I was getting responses to my questions. One spirit acknowledged my cat. Nice light hearted interaction so far.
Top Lobster
One second.
David
Yeah.
Top Lobster
So this guy from Twitter says he's been an audio only listener. Long time. Listener. Never, never called in. Now he's watching us live and he goes, oh, this is what you guys look like. I don't know what that means.
David
That's the worst shit.
Top Lobster
Is it bad? Is it worse?
David
Is that.
Top Lobster
Yeah, it's probably a worse experience for you, but whatever, it's fine, you know.
David
I know what that's like. You listen to somebody for a long time, then you find out that they're fucking. Like this guy's forehead's huge, hideous and off putting. Yeah, I'm trying to do A lot of raising my eyebrows so that I can sort of minimize the real estate that's up there. Yeah, a little bit. If I go like that, my best look is looking surprised, so.
Top Lobster
Oh, shit. We got swag. Hell yeah. Let me tell you about my sneaker collection. I've been buying sneakers all day, dog.
David
You are buying sneakers all day. And now he put me onto an app where they're auctioning off sneakers. And now it looks like I'm buying sneakers all day. Very excited. What is it called?
Top Lobster
I'm not saying it. I'm not going to ruin their life.
David
That's true. Maybe we should covet this information to not fucking.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David
Create a bunch of problems among the fan base. Okay. So after I got invited, light hearted interaction. So far, there was no reason to be frightened by the supernatural activity. So whatever he's getting into contact with after he contacts his spirit guide, or at least, you know, an air quote, spirit guide, the interactions, they uptick. But so far, nothing to be frightened about. Yeah, nothing about.
Top Lobster
This dude's definitely white. Might be a guard.
David
Yeah. Big Meat soda, I think is probably a unisex.
Top Lobster
Big, big clit soda.
David
All right, all right, all right, all right. So I feel like I need to go back to the spirit guide which, which who has given me major trust issues with people who claim to talk to spirits. Man, that's a fucked up sentence, huh? I. I followed a meditation that specifically said not to look at the spirit guide. That's interesting. Don't look at it. The very next time I went back in my mind where she was. Dude, this is Big Meat Soda. Spelling is not his, his strong point.
Top Lobster
It's a tough one, right?
David
It's a tough one.
Top Lobster
This is like the point of the show here is to read what you said.
David
Guys, please, please. I don't know if this is a surprise to you, but that's what we're gonna end up doing here on the show.
Top Lobster
Should I read this comment? Please, Because I don't even know if this person's with me or not. Nicole, thank you for saying that. Top is the sexiest man in conspiracy in the conspiracy space. Even sexier than Ian Carroll. Congrats to your wife. Wait until you find out. I'm only five eight.
David
I can't. I simply can't agree with that. I mean, I don't, I don't like Ian Carroll, but he's, He's. He's undoubtedly a man that. That's built in such a way that symmetry is on his side. Symmetry is on the side of I'm not saying you're not symmetrical, but.
Top Lobster
Yeah, but just, like, way less. Just less of me. A lot less of me.
David
Like, if somebody came to me and they were like, you look better than Ian Carroll, I would. I'd say, well, you're lying to me.
Top Lobster
Well, per capita.
David
I don't understand. Per capita.
Top Lobster
Per capita, more handsome.
David
All right, all right. I would. No, I can't even accept that he's in the. Never mind. All right, so where were we at here? This is weird. So. So he says, I followed the meditation that specifically said not to look at the spirit guide, which is strange. Then the next time that I, I, I, I'm gonna read this sentence.
Top Lobster
Let me read it.
David
The very next time I went back in my mind where she was, I went back.
Top Lobster
Yeah, that's what he wants to say.
David
I looked, and she had black hair, a white dress, and black eyes.
Top Lobster
Damn Black eyed children.
David
Big Lilith, too. That white dress that she had black hair, white dress, black eyes. I get that it sounds like a trope of a scary spirit monster.
Top Lobster
Sounds like the ring, right?
David
It does sound like the ring, but.
Top Lobster
I think this guy's feeding us bullshit.
David
No, no, no, because this comes up a lot. You do get this white dress character. That does pop up a lot. Okay, so I get that it sounds like a trope of a scary spirit monster. And I was trying to figure out if it was just my imagination.
Top Lobster
I gotta address the chat. I'm sorry.
David
Are they still telling us that. That you look good? Is that what's going on? They're.
Top Lobster
They're distracted by the sweet. The seat switch. And I understand it' jarring. It's jarring for me as well.
David
I'm not gonna switch it, though.
Top Lobster
Yeah, the microphones are ready. His head's already taking up all that side. A whole bunch of sweat.
David
Yeah. Yeah.
Top Lobster
I asked him to do karaoke today, and sweat.
David
I can't do. I'm not gonna do karaoke. Nancy's in the chat. She says, shout out. Nancy. She says, it's always dudes talking about how Ian is sexy. Are we wrong? Am I wrong?
Top Lobster
Good question. Chat. Let us know what would me and Carol. Only the woman.
David
That's it. Yeah, just. Just answer. Would or wouldn't. That's all.
Top Lobster
And the gay men.
David
Yeah, that's fine, too.
Top Lobster
So that's like half of you guys. Yeah, never mind.
David
That's actually my biggest fan base is our gay fan.
Top Lobster
They're just talking about how we look now. Is there something about right now that we're irl like in real life that, like, you don't like how we look now all of a sudden?
David
Is that what it is? Yeah, yeah. See, somebody racist, anal, says it's gay not to comment on it. And I would. I would agree with that. I just don't want to ignore the fact that he's 6 foot 8 and he's got a great chin.
Top Lobster
Give him his props. Give him his props.
David
Okay, so she had black hair, yada, yada, yada. I was trying to figure out if it was just my imagination. I can tell you now that I am certain that this is the guide's true form. This is when the activity goes beyond voices from the spirit box and starts manifesting. Okay, great, great. Here we go. I'm going to break it down like this. I accidentally made my house haunted.
Top Lobster
What an idiot.
David
That's. That's honestly a nightmare though. Mainly my room.
Top Lobster
Hate when that happens.
David
Yeah, it's not good. Which is where I primarily use the spirit box. That's like of all the. If you're gonna do it in your house, like, maybe not your bedroom.
Top Lobster
Little tip. So when. What's her name? Lauren. When Lauren came over.
David
Oh, yeah.
Top Lobster
What's her last. I forget her last name.
David
Lauren Whitzky.
Top Lobster
Lauren Whitzky.
David
Yeah.
Top Lobster
When she came over my house, she was like, you want to hear some crazy? And I was like, not in my house.
David
My house.
Top Lobster
But we listened to her right outside my house. So now my porch is haunted.
David
Yeah. And what we heard that day was harrowing.
Top Lobster
Harrowing, harrowing.
David
Okay, so where the are we? Mainly my room, which is where I primarily use the spirit box. A huge mistake.
Top Lobster
Spirit box.
David
I would hear my full name be whispered in my ear. I was watching Grown Ups to a terrible film and I heard a girl laughing from the corner of my room. She was like, well, I mean, you know, he can. I guess he can be funny. She thought it was funny. I hear a girl laughing coming from the corner of my room when a funny part of the movie came on. Oh, shit. So she is laughing at the movie. That's funny. Orbs flew around my room like crazy. I was waking up, I was. I'm sorry. I was walking up the stairs from the basement and I heard a painful scream come from the dark. I started to get sleep paralysis. And one time it happened. I've seen an alligator dog thing crawl towards me and I told it to off.
Top Lobster
An alligator dog thing.
David
An alligator dog thing. These are the most memorable events that have ever happened to me. But that's not All. But wait, there's more. Yeah. Here, I'll read this next one and then you can take over. Right?
Top Lobster
Okay.
David
All right. My mom's house was a darker situation. This house had a lot of negativity surrounding it, from alcohol abuse to neglect. Here are some of the strange paranormal events that happened once I started sticking my nose where I shouldn't have, probably should not have burped into your microphone. But that's okay.
Top Lobster
That's all right.
David
When my stoner buddies and I would hang out in the basement, we would occasionally hear someone walk through the front door and walk upstairs. Everyone would freak out, hide all the weed stuff, just to find out no one walked in. That's the. Honestly, the worst ghost. The worst ghost ruins your smoke session with your buddies, and you gotta hide all your.
Top Lobster
And everybody there blocking your weed.
David
Unbelievable. This would happen a lot, and we almost got used to it, leading me to almost getting busted a couple of times. Ah. Because he thought it was the ghost, it ended up actually being his mom. Also, my mom mentioned she was having nightmares about a demon sitting on her back. That's very familiar. The same was happening to me. So having the spirit box, I wanted to feel the illusion of having control, so I investigated. So that's what you do, right? You're having a bunch of really horrifying paranormal experiences in your home that are almost no doubt because of your interactions with the spirit box. And then when they come about, you decide, I think it's time to consult the spirit box.
Top Lobster
Yes. Use it more.
David
Yes. That's like when I do method and I become incredibly addicted to meth. And then I think maybe the way out of this is meth.
Top Lobster
It's the hair of the dog.
David
Yes. Well, all right. Maybe there's some.
Top Lobster
There's logic to it.
David
I guess so.
Top Lobster
All right, I'll continue reading. But before I do, five dollar super chat. Thank you. Chili bean 555. Have Owen Benjamin on again. Easier said than done.
David
Yes, yes. But I'm sure we will at some point.
Top Lobster
We'll figure it out. We'll do something eventually.
David
Yes.
Top Lobster
With Owen Benjamin again, I want to see if I can do something real quick. What do you want to do? Like that in the corner.
David
Oh, that's nice.
Top Lobster
You guys like that?
David
Guys, let us know if you like that.
Top Lobster
Whatever. I don't care if you like it. I like it. Okay. I've used a spirit box before at that house, but I've never captured any voices. Now this is big me talking now. Now with the nightmares happening again, I Figured I should try to call whatever this thing is out. I got only one response. After a string of questions, I asked, how many are there? In response, I really like this guy's spelling. It's wild. In response in a low voice 1. And that's all I got out of that little investigation. So a dead end. That same night I investigated. I heard something walk towards me in my room. Sounded like a soft footsteps on the carpet creeping towards me. I noped the hell out of it and ran up the stairs. And there was where there were other people. I didn't bring it up. The next night I'm at my dad's house where this all began. And I kept hearing something slowly walking toward me in my room again. But I tried to stay calm and ignore it as I try to sleep. I was being attacked. My heart was racing for no reason. Sweating. Pictures of hell and other terrible things were. Did you write this with the typewriter?
David
Like I'm looking at the word paralyzing here and I'm about to be paralyzed trying to.
Top Lobster
I'm almost stunned that like at no point. What kind of phone do you have? Like, it didn't say like yo bro. Let me correct that.
David
Honestly, a lot of the spell correct for the past year has been trying to like foil me, I think. And so maybe that's exactly what's going on here. It'll my spell correct. Will. Will correct things to. That doesn't even make sense. Not even a little bit. So you know, could be. Could be what's happening?
Top Lobster
Oh, that is bad. Paralyzed. Okay. So he tries to sleep. He's being attacked. Heart racing for no reason. Sweating, picturing. Terrible things were popping his head. I couldn't make it stop or even get out of bed from the paralyzing fear. Right. That's a great word that he spelled.
David
Yes.
Top Lobster
I called and cried out for Jesus Christ to save me. Save me from this evil. And like that, I passed out and woke up that morning. The next morning, the sky was clear and the sun was shining. My room was insanely calm. Like last night didn't even happen.
David
There you go.
Top Lobster
I couldn't find my spirit box. So I looked around at that house. It's like it disappeared. I later remember throwing it away in the garbage outside only to instantly forget that I did it at all. My mom and I stopped having nightmares. That's great. No more phantom feet walking up and down the stairs or toward me in the either room. Yeah, it was done.
David
That's the ether room. Maybe he's got a room that we.
Top Lobster
Don'T have an ether room.
David
You gotta eat the room.
Top Lobster
He's like, I wonder why all this crazy happens to me. He's like, because you're just in the ether room, that's why.
David
You definitely don't want to hang in.
Top Lobster
The lamp floating around and you're.
David
That's the whole problem, dude. Gotta get out of that ether room.
Top Lobster
Well, he was saved. And I truly believe God heard me. That's awesome.
David
Hell yeah.
Top Lobster
I'm 26 now and I still haven't learned how to spell correctly. Strange thing. Strange things still happen, but they're very small. And like the spirit guide talking to me in my sleep, sending positive messages in my dreams. Even though I don't trust her based.
David
Do not trust her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's interesting. My spirit guide, is that the same thing as like your guardian angel or like a familiar spirit? You know what I mean? It feels like the same thing, but you're just giving it a bunch of different names. I don't know.
Top Lobster
I don't know. I don't know what that is. I wouldn't. I wouldn't mess with it, though.
David
Hold on. I do want to address somebody says Sonny sometimes says he's losing weight and he's gaining muscle. Thank you for noticing, Sonny. Thank you for noticing. See, I told you that.
Top Lobster
Who are you talking about?
David
They're talking to. Definitely talking about me. Don't talk.
Top Lobster
Okay. All right.
David
Thank you, sonny.
Top Lobster
So he's 26. He says, I don't trust her. I get sleep paralysis accompanied by entities trying to talk to me. That's a whole other story, though it rarely happened. It really happens. But visions of the future that actually happen in three in a three month span. You can't change the future, by the way.
David
Okay. All right.
Top Lobster
So there it is.
David
Precognition. Little schizophrenia.
Top Lobster
Right? Little.
David
Little Dr. Jerry Marzinski.
Top Lobster
I know it's long, but it feels good getting it out to you guys. Retard out.
David
Hell yeah, dude. Yeah.
Top Lobster
Well, thank you for writing to us. I mean, I guess I consider this writing.
David
Well, it's interesting. I mean, yeah, everybody busted his balls because of his spelling. But I think if you're submitting paranormal testimonies to this show, you kind of know how that's going to go. Yeah, but it's interesting because in the past you would have routinely gotten this story had you used a Ouija board. But now, given all of our fancy machinations, our spirit box. Spirit box. Rock.
Top Lobster
AI.
David
Sounds a lot like a spirit comm.
Top Lobster
Yeah. I mean, there isn't much there. I would like to know what it looked like. Actually, I don't want to know what it looked like. Why did you keep it in your room? That's wild.
David
I think that a spirit. A spirit box is a thing that. So basically what it does is it rapidly changes frequencies so it tunes into a bunch of different channels just over and over and over again. But what ends up happening is it's supposed to randomly tune into frequencies, but it, through that randomness, will hop on one, let's say radio station, and it'll be a guy being like, tonight. And then all of a sudden it cuts to another radio station and it says, you're going to die. You know what I mean? Like some shit like that. And that's how you're getting the information from it, which is fascinating. Okay, that actually reminds me today of what I brought up about Tom DeLonge to you.
Top Lobster
Right, right.
David
The spirit, because.
Top Lobster
All right, so Angels in the Airwaves.
David
Angels in the airwaves is Tom DeLonge's. You know, Tom DeLonge being the lead singer of Blink 182.
Top Lobster
Or DeLonge.
David
I was really hoping you weren't gonna ask. Yes. So he.
Top Lobster
Yes, whatever you'd like it to be. Yeah.
David
He. He's the lead singer of Blink 182. And then, of course, he's. He's doing to the Stars Academy, which is like, for whatever reason, Tom DeLonge is. Is part of our disclosure program, but he also has another band.
Top Lobster
I feel like it's. Delong.
David
Tom has another band. And I don't know, I think it's like, if Travis Barker is not around or some. So. So. But that band is called Angels in the Airwaves, which is fascinating because in very many ways, these fallen angels do not exist in our realm, except for by way of frequency. And so I look at that and I go, angels in the airwaves. Airwaves being frequencies. That's, you know, how you would, you know, you would almost display waves. Right. Going through the air.
Top Lobster
Right.
David
So, you know, it's just kind of one of those things where I'm like, what does that know? And it's interesting that you should call it that and then be like, but it's aliens. Like, but you call it angels.
Top Lobster
Yeah. I mean, listen, what do they say? Potato, potato.
David
But I don't think, potato, potato, tomato.
Top Lobster
Tomato, tomato, tomato, whatever. I mean, if you're from Jersey, I guess that's what they say.
David
Well, thank you, Big meat. You big.
Top Lobster
You big me. That was Nice. All right, we're gonna dox our next person. This is from also January. Also from January 23rd. For some reason, you guys were just submitting that. But yeah, this guy is Jacob with a K. I don't know if you want me to. Let me scroll.
David
I think it's actually pronounced Yakub.
Top Lobster
Yakub. Okay. Yes, that is actually Yakub. My bad. Yakub says, yo, you asked for an email, so I'll give it to you. Hit me up on IG Yakub. Yeah. Jacob J, A, K, O, B, Cole Harris, if you have any questions. Because who the uses email? Well, we do. We use email. And if you guys want to send us more emails, you can email us at Nephilim. D Squad.
David
Yeah.
Top Lobster
At gmail dot com. That's where you can talk to us.
David
Yeah. You know what? I gotta say, I now realize why you were yelling at Donnie Darkin that day. Because when you. When you have all these voices in your head, you guys can't hear it, but back there.
Top Lobster
This is wild.
David
It's just disrespect. It's just nothing but this. Now my family.
Top Lobster
Someone just hit the door.
David
Yeah. And now my own family is engaging in this.
Top Lobster
And the way this room. The way this room is. Oh, yeah, yeah. Our wives are sitting there as if nothing is going on.
David
Yeah.
Top Lobster
And our kids. In order to hit this door, you have to go, like, around and in a small.
David
Oh, you got to go out of your way.
Top Lobster
Yeah. It's not like you just bump into it and go, oh, I was here. No, no, you went out of your way to hit the door.
David
Yeah. Boom. That's it.
Top Lobster
I'm gonna kill him. Yeah, it's fine.
David
But this is. And this is now. Now you guys understand why he yelled at Donnie?
Top Lobster
Yes.
David
Okay, so let's continue this.
Top Lobster
Okay, here we go. If you end up reading this out, just call me Jacob with a K. Okay. Yakub.
David
Hell yeah.
Top Lobster
My friends will know.
David
Now we're calling him Yakub.
Top Lobster
My. My journey with dmt.
David
Okay.
Top Lobster
It's in bold. So the first time I smoked dmt, the experience was not as overwhelming as I expected, but it was still profound. Can you give me a second? Because I'm gonna go tell them to kill.
David
Yeah, yeah, you can do that. You can do that. I'll. I can continue. You know what?
Top Lobster
I want to know.
David
No, I'm not even gonna continue. I like when you read. I'm gonna just talk to the chat you could. You have permission to hit my kid? All right, go Ahead and do it. Top should fight Donnie at Brogrove, too. We are in the middle, by the way, of figuring out Bro Grove, too. And we have solidified Sam Tripoli. That button's a little bit far away. So we have Sam Tripley, and it looks like we got Shane Cashman for Bohemian Grove, too. So we're gonna do a lot of big, fun things. We're gonna make the announcement soon. You'll be able to find tickets and yada, yada, yada, but it is happening. And right now, it's tentatively scheduled for June 14th and 15th, although apparently that's bad. So we might do.
Top Lobster
There you go.
David
That's the button that I was looking for.
Top Lobster
That is the red one at the top.
David
That's. I. I. That's weird. Oh, I know why. Because they're preset, and that's what mine is, too. That's why I knew.
Top Lobster
Oh, yours is the red one. Yeah, mine is the red one.
David
Touch me. All right, so let's continue on. All right. Where'd you go? You want to.
Top Lobster
I like when you read extremely disrespectful. We're talking about. Talking about bohemian growth.
David
Yeah. Yeah. We are talking about Pattern Recognizer says, hell, yeah, Shane. Yeah, Cashman's gonna be there. We're gonna be talking a lot about these entities. Yeah. And testimony just like these. And then we're going to talk about the MK Ultra UFO disclosure side of these entities. And we're also going to talk about the ancient adversarial lowercase G. Fallen Angels and Nephilim.
Top Lobster
Disrespectful, right?
David
Yeah.
Top Lobster
You think?
David
I just don't like it. To be touched is all. That's all. You know what? Also, too. He. He's trying to get me to do karaoke, which is like, I'm not gonna.
Top Lobster
Make you do it, dude.
David
Yeah, definitely don't make me do it, because that's.
Top Lobster
I mean, I won't do it if you want to.
David
I don't want to do it. Why would I. I. I've spent, like, the past 45 minutes explaining explicitly that I do not want to do it. Okay. Can you read this? What are you doing?
Top Lobster
I'm looking at something. I want to show these guys something cool.
David
Just DMs. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Here, check this out.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David
Okay. Yeah.
Top Lobster
Bohemian Grove. This is. This is the place it's gonna be at. It's gonna be dope.
David
How cool is that? Guys, we're gonna be at a fucking legitimate theater.
Top Lobster
It's a full theater with stuff here. Go ahead and look at all my. My DMs.
David
It's just like timeline cleanse.
Top Lobster
Yeah, it's just like timeline cleanse. You. If you look quick enough. You see what I was talking to? But Anyway, it's a 240 person seat theater.
David
Fuck.
Top Lobster
Yeah, it's gonna be pretty fun. Day night. It's gonna be fun.
David
Bro. Bro says karaoke is a rush. Yeah. And I'm in no rush to do it. Pattern Recognizer says. Hey guys, just listen to your debunking the telepathy tapes. Love your work. Thank you. Pattern Recognizer might have been a better use of our time to do part two, but I forgot. So here we are.
Top Lobster
Wow. Yeah, we could have done that.
David
We literally have to do part two or else what is Ian Carol gonna steal?
Top Lobster
Wow. Shots. All right, so before we read address.
David
Can somebody please sub to our YouTube so that we no longer have 6066.
Top Lobster
Thank you. Yes, please. So the PP poo poo poor man says, gives a dollar because he's poor man. Thank you, spirit box. The rapping vagina that loves.
David
I don't know what that means, but I thank you.
Top Lobster
I like the energy though.
David
Thank you, Peepee Poo Poo man.
Top Lobster
We got a 50 super chat from. I'm the autistic scion. Scion of a deeply conservative and homosexual Roman political family. Roman Catholic political family of equestrian rank.
David
Love it.
Top Lobster
Excellent addition to nds. Love your Donnie Darkin just fluttered his vagus laps at you, dude.
David
I don't know who you are, Peepee Poo Poo man, but you know, top 10 at least top 10 favorite people now.
Top Lobster
Yeah, dude, I don't know what that means, but I agree. I agree.
David
Yeah, dude, I 100 agree.
Top Lobster
I understand what he's saying about the Vagislap stuff. Yeah, yeah.
David
Can you explain it?
Top Lobster
No, not at all.
David
Probably it's not. I don't think it's good for this show to talk about that. Okay. So please, Yakubu gotta get back to his.
Top Lobster
Okay. The first time I smoked dmt, the experience was not as overwhelming as I expected, but it was still profound. It felt like I was inside of a donut. Cool. Imagine the space as if it were a 4D environment. I remind. It reminded me of a tesseract where no single point in the environment stayed fixed. Everything seemed to constantly fold in on itself during this trip.
David
I do love that though, by the way he goes. Imagine this space as if it were a 4D environment.
Top Lobster
Hey, you've never been in one.
David
Simply can't do that. Don't have the capabilities, but go on.
Top Lobster
Oh, here. There's actually a rejoinder to Pee Pee Poopoo, man. When I said, I don't know what the fuck you just said, he just said, thumbs up ten times.
David
I fucking. Hey, you just made it to the top seven.
Top Lobster
Yeah. He's like, I'm glad you didn't understand. Thumbs up. All right, well, thank you. Okay, so nothing stays fixed. It's all kind of trippy and folding in on itself. I kind of understand what you're saying, but I've never experienced it. During this trip, something extraordinary happened. Anubis, the ancient Egyptian deity, appeared and followed me everywhere. I had no prior knowledge of him at the time, yet he remained close by, either as part of the environment or physically standing there. He didn't move or speak, but his presence was undeniable. The last time I used dmt, the experience defied words, but he's gonna try. I witnessed what I now understand to be an angel. It began as a fiery bowl, then morphed into spinning rings with eyes circling the flames.
David
That's crazy to think that they were right. You know what I mean? Like, these descriptions of, like, Ezekiel's wheel and, like, wheels within wheels and, like, you know, because sometimes you look at biblical text and you say they were limited by the words that they had at the time.
Top Lobster
I really meant like, a wheel with eyes on it.
David
Hey, man, I don't know how the hell is to put this. It's a ring inside of another ring inside of another ring, and they're all covered in ice.
Top Lobster
It was all on fire and like. Oh, what do you mean? Like plasma? What are you talking about, you idiot? He's like, not dog. Fire.
David
Fire, fire.
Top Lobster
And it was full of eyes, so he's like, same. Oh, seeing the same.
David
By the way, shout out Dr. Jerry Marzinski. He's in the chat, and he likes the way that we make eye contact.
Top Lobster
I have not looked at him.
David
I don't like eye contact. Can you please continue reading?
Top Lobster
Yeah, sure. Thank you. Eventually, it transformed into a woman's face engulfed in fire before disappearing entirely. Cool. Both Anubis and the angel were figures I had no prior concepts of before these journeys. These experiences led me to a spiritual awakening. Oh, here we go. Shifting me from agnosticism and ultimately guiding me to explore more about spirituality and even your show where in that realm of, like, after agnosticism and, like, beyond.
David
Spirituality, we're beyond beyond spiritual. I also love the idea that we spend a great amount of time here being, like, you know, the fall in and the Nephilim. But because of Anubis, this dude's here. Yeah, it's like, in your face, Anubis. In your face.
Top Lobster
Anubis is just some dog. He's like, I don't know what's going on. He just showed up to this party. All right. I'm grateful for the knowledge and insight you provided, and I feel compelled to share some intriguing phenomena from my home in New Zealand. I wish he would have told us he was from New Zealand.
David
Never would have read it.
Top Lobster
Canadians, New Zealanders. What other places that we get from that?
David
I'm like, other places that just aren't America. There's certain states too.
Top Lobster
It's mostly not America.
David
Yeah.
Top Lobster
When I see it, I go, you know what, though?
David
If somebody said they were from like.
Top Lobster
Botswana, I might be interested.
David
I'd be like, oh, but there'd be.
Top Lobster
Like a lot of clicks. But like, I can't read this.
David
Oh, yeah, Yakubian. I can't say that on this show. Be a nigger wizard. That's actually my. I coined that term.
Top Lobster
Yeah. Australia does.
David
Australia also sucks. Agreed. Yeah.
Top Lobster
Yeah. Worse than New Zealand. I kind of like New Zealand. Pretty cool.
David
They filmed Lord of the Rings there, which is.
Top Lobster
That's all I know about it. I think Alexander Volkanovsky fights from there. Yeah. The stories of weird monoliths, endless caves and native legends about red haired. Red haired giants.
David
Yep. Whoa.
Top Lobster
In. In New Zealand as well. That's kind of cool. Okay, let me know if you'd like pictures or more D. Yeah, I would have liked pictures, but this was like four months ago. I wonder if he still likes the show. Probably.
David
I don't know.
Top Lobster
Probably not.
David
Yeah, well, actually we. We read one that was like over a year old and then the next day that guy was like, thanks for reading my. And I was like, I wonder, like.
Top Lobster
I really wonder what the half life of the fans. I guess they've called them fans or. Or submitters.
David
Email. I like submitters. Yeah.
Top Lobster
They submitting.
David
Donnie Dark is in the chat. He says, I would love to take top out of date to Australia. And I think it's a great way to reconcile, actually, to yell at me. That's true too.
Top Lobster
You read scripture to me.
David
You're not going to knock your chair over when you get a little, you know, a little wound up.
Top Lobster
I'll think about it, Donnie. Yeah, I just, I. I wonder about the half life of our audience, of our submitters. The one. The people who submit to our will.
David
I would say they. They Live a half life.
Top Lobster
Yeah. No, I mean like. So, all right, this is three months ago, right? Or two months.
David
January. This is January something. So. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Or almost exactly two months ago.
Top Lobster
So it's like. Have we retained this person as an audience member? Yakub, have we retained you?
David
Let us know if you're still here. You coop.
Top Lobster
Yeah. If you can hear us, you can hear our voices. All right, let's see where we're at here. Okay, so more details. On a personal note, my life has been filled with remarkable and at times dangerous experiences. Were they? My family is full of freemasons. Wow. On both sides. And I've had more than my share of near death encounters. These include a harrowing moment when my flight from Hawaii to New Zealand nearly crashed during takeoff. Jesus Christ. Forcing a full takeoff abortion and evacuation on the Runway.
David
And this. Had an abortion.
Top Lobster
Yeah. I've also had multiple near drownings, been involved in car crashes and near misses. And even narrowly escaped being abducted by an aboriginal man in Australia. Now, David, I know that the audience. Yeah, this is. I wish we could hear this, but I know the audience can't really hear as much as we're hearing. Yeah, this is what I'm. I'm talking to, quite frankly on Quite frankly show. And I'm trying to lay out this fantastic conspiracy that we are uncovering.
David
God. And it's actually the worst thing. Do we have to have our. Our monitor so high? We should just turn this down because the audience can't hear the.
Top Lobster
Can you hear the children?
David
It sounds like 17 children having a knife fight. It's really just.
Top Lobster
It's just three children having a knife.
David
Crazy dude.
Top Lobster
Can you hear chat? Can you hear the children chat?
David
Is this real?
Top Lobster
Is this real right now? Do we even have children? Are we here in real life right now? I'm going to lower our monitors. Yeah, a little bit.
David
Yeah. There's no reason we don't have to hear. Okay. They said they could hear it a little bit, but I don't care about this. I can't hear them anymore. And it's great. Holy.
Top Lobster
Okay, perfect. Now I can't hear myself.
David
There's no way that they can make them play outside. That's crazy.
Top Lobster
It's 9 o'clock at night. There's bears out there. There's no way that they could just tie them up and tell them there's.
David
A whole other floor too. It's crazy. Okay.
Top Lobster
It's crazy.
David
Have you checked the children? No, there's literally. The adults are in this room and.
Top Lobster
All the children are out there.
David
Yes.
Top Lobster
Can I. Can I. Nancy. Fuck the children.
David
Okay. God. All right. All right. Now are we going to read the rest?
Top Lobster
I'm going to continue reading it. I've had multiple near drownings. I don't know how you did that. Car accidents, but probably. But he was abducted by an aboriginal man in Australia.
David
No, he was. He narrowly escaped being abducted.
Top Lobster
What does that even look like?
David
They're not very fast.
Top Lobster
Yeah, like, where was he going to bring you?
David
Yeah. I don't know.
Top Lobster
I don't think you were. Like, almost nobody gets almost treat you.
David
To a nice night of gasoline sipping and, you know, staring at the.
Top Lobster
He got in his car or something.
David
I don't know. They don't. They don't have cars.
Top Lobster
I like to hear that story. Oh, good question. I don't know. Is there an IQ test? Can. Can retarded people drive?
David
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, Yeah. I was watching that.
Top Lobster
How retarded?
David
Well, I was watching a girl with down syndrome do a. A video, and she's like, you think that I can't drink, so you don't offer me a drink. And then she goes on to say, you think that I don't drive, so you never teach me to drive.
Top Lobster
Yeah, well, your depth perception is a little off.
David
That's what I'm saying, dude. I'm just like, you know, the whole commercial. You guys know what I'm talking about. There's a commercial out there. It's about all the things that this down syndrome chick can do, but everybody won't teach her how to do it. And I'm like, well, that's fascinating, because I've learned a lot of things that people didn't teach me. Chicken or the egg, because I'm not retarded. Yeah, but if you need somebody to teach you how to. I don't know. Xyz. Doesn't matter. Are they getting mad?
Top Lobster
They're. They're asking. They're like, can Cole drive? Actually, I want to go ahead and pull this up. Here's a fun fact, guys. When you show up, there's a college right across the street. Oh, yeah, the Tropic. And it's. It is actually a college for the mentally retarded. Retarded.
David
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Top Lobster
Like, not even joking.
David
Which is cool. So we can go there right after the show.
Top Lobster
Well, there's. There's other places around here, too, which is going to be cool. So if you do show up to Bohemian Grove after the Grove both nights, there are multiple restaurants and venues and stuff like that. And we're going to be hanging out like pretty much on that five block.
David
Radius bars, maybe like even a three block radius. We're gonna take that over. We're taking over three blocks. This town.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David
By the way, peepee poo poo says that the kids are quiet and if.
Top Lobster
Anybody'S in a quiet because I threaten them.
David
Yeah, yeah, just fine. That's good that, that I feel better now. Okay, so, so let's fucking keep going here with.
Top Lobster
Additionally, as a child, I had a shadow person moment. No, no, no, no.
David
You forgot. Despite all the brushes with danger.
Top Lobster
Right, right.
David
He got the Abbo was gonna kidnap.
Top Lobster
Despite all these brushes with danger, I've never broken a single bone in my life. I've broken like 12 bones in my life.
David
So crazy. I've never broken anything.
Top Lobster
Oh, it's not fun.
David
Fucking so like so thick. I made him such like sturdy, crazy thick.
Top Lobster
Maybe you're just not going hard enough.
David
I go so hard in everything that I do wake up.
Top Lobster
I'm gonna, I'm gonna put that, that for the gay front flip right now.
David
Yeah, dude, you would have thought that I would have broken my in my gay front flip. Never did that. Dude, I wake up. 4am Push ups. Saratoga. Go to the bathroom. Saratoga. Big black dude, Saratoga.
Top Lobster
All right, I'm gonna make a video. I want to make a video of me doing like the whole.
David
You should do that.
Top Lobster
And then put my face in Saratoga. And then you just grab my head.
David
And kill until the bubble stops.
Top Lobster
Until the bubbles.
David
Yeah, that's it.
Top Lobster
If I ever put my face in Saratoga water.
David
And then what will happen is I'll sit down and I'll put my face in the Saratoga water. But nobody's left to push my head down because you're dead.
Top Lobster
And then I go, is he man enough? Is he man enough to kill himself in Saratoga water?
David
This is man enough to die in a shallow bowl of Saratoga water.
Top Lobster
That guy seems so boring. I, I, yeah, I was thinking about following him on Twitter, Ashton something.
David
You know, he does a mean ass like robot like popping his Terry Crews.
Top Lobster
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But just a boring person probably. Okay.
David
Yeah.
Top Lobster
Despite all of these brushes with danger, I've never broken a bone. A fact that I often find incredible given everything I've been through.
David
Because I feel the same way. Me and Yakuba are on the same wavelength here.
Top Lobster
So this is just over right here. Additionally, as a child, I had a shadow person moment. Terrifying yet vivid experience that has stuck with me. This seemed to blur the line between this world and something beyond it, leaving an impression that I would later connect with my spiritual experiences as an adult. All of these experience have shaped my perspective on life and strengthened my sense of resilience and purpose. And that's it. That's the whole.
David
I feel like he did a lot of eluding things but not telling us about it, which is always good. What I really enjoy and thank you, you, Cooper, is submission was. It was fascinating. But I just love when people go like, they'll send us an email and they'll be like, I've had this happen to me. Let me know if you want to hear about it. And it's like, well, that's kind of the.
Top Lobster
It's not how this works. I feel like you just catfished me. Yeah.
David
Dave is nipping. Does that only happen when he's next to top? I think that means drinking, nipping.
Top Lobster
Or can you see his nipples?
David
Slick. Oh, is that what we're talking about?
Top Lobster
Lighting?
David
It could be the lighting.
Top Lobster
Lighting.
David
No, no. Slick Rick says David dives ass first when he swims. And that is actually a little known fact I didn't think anybody was aware of.
Top Lobster
I have actually seen him dive ass first.
David
He must have told people.
Top Lobster
Let's go ahead. And we have, we have more super chats, so.
David
Oh, we do have more.
Top Lobster
Yes. Peepee poo poo man. Thank you again. The peepee poo poo man.
David
Yeah.
Top Lobster
$10. My name is David. I do front flips. Never broke a bone. I'm a stout player that wants to pour pink zinfandel on my firm pee pee while you watch. Helpless.
David
Helpless.
Top Lobster
I get it.
David
Because that is, if anybody were to watch me pour pink zinfandel on my pee pee, they would in fact be helpless. I would make sure that that was the circumstances under which I would pour.
Top Lobster
I would pour the. The water. Yeah, yeah. Into the blue bowl. There's something aesthetic. The man chose a perfect aesthetic for it though, right? Yeah, he did. He did. Everything is perfect. Like it is. I. I hate it so much. But I find myself, no matter how many videos they make of this, it's remarkable.
David
Like, it's well shot. It' the, the whole thing. Like the frame and everything. Because. Because they're in like Miami high rises, right? So if he's in a pool, it's a infinity pool. If he's eating breakfast, it's at a marble countertop. He's got all the most expensive. So it is aesthetically pleasing.
Top Lobster
Would you look at the time?
David
Oh, my God, the pores.
Top Lobster
I forgot. I almost Never got to remind you.
David
Guys, we have given you too much. That's it. That's fucking it, guys. We've given you too much.
Top Lobster
Please.
David
If you want to continue watching this thing, making fun of my nipples, making me feel insecure about my body, then you could go on over to patreon.com.
Top Lobster
Backslash you want to continue to call me handsome?
David
That's what's up with that, man. How come I get what's wrong with your nipples? And then. And then you get, you're. You're more handsome than Ian Carroll.
Top Lobster
I honestly don't even expect that. That, that's. I feel like they're with me at this point.
David
Well, they never. There was no punchline. They just said, hey, you look good. And then why is his nipples showing? Anyway, if you want to keep up that sort of banter, go on over to patreon.com backslash Nephilim Death Squad also.
Top Lobster
Help us get past the 6000 mark on yout.
David
I don't like that that's happening, but.
Top Lobster
It is what it is.
David
You know, enjoy an ad free viewing experience, gain early access to the episode before the general public, and even there's like a discount code from top lobster.com merchandise. Oh, you stupid. How long have I been saying that? Anyway?
Top Lobster
Long time.
David
Patreon.com backslash Nephilim Death Squad. And you could do it for free. Otherwise. Bye bye Pores. We gotta stop calling them pores. It happens for free.
Top Lobster
They're not poor. They're. They just don't like us as much. So we just say bye. I guess the people who. Yeah, they don't submit.
David
They don't submit.
Top Lobster
They don't submit.
David
Yeah, we like. We like. I like those who submit.
Top Lobster
Yeah, we like real submissive, submissive audience.
David
Excuse me. No, I just realized Dan smarts hit me up and he goes, that a no. I was like, my bad, Dan. I'll reach out to you later. Okay, next one.
Top Lobster
I don't think he watches. The next one is from the 25th of January and it's from somebody named four.
David
That's interesting.
Top Lobster
I think just four. Just the number four. Not like the four of nine.
David
Okay. You want me to. I want to take this one away.
Top Lobster
Yeah, please do.
David
Hello.
Top Lobster
Hello.
David
I have a quick story. It actually looks pretty lengthy. I have a quick story of my two major supernatural experiences. When I was 15, I was hanging out with my friend. Also 15.
Top Lobster
That's good.
David
It's good to hang out with people your own age. And my nephew. Don't remember his age. I'M a bad uncle, I suppose, but half our age. Ish. Okay, all right, that's fine. As long as you're aware. And we was all playing GTA 4. GTA 4 was the one with the Arabic dude. The Arabic cab driver passed the controller whenever we died. Just doing dumb stuff in the game, causing havoc. So we all got timely turns.
Top Lobster
All right. Lest you continue a second five dollar super chat from Chili Bean. Last one. Five, five, five.
David
And he says, do you think that Trump is really going to deport illegal faggots? Yeah, Yeah, I think he will. I think that a lot of that stuff is easy to solve. It was problems that should have never been problems in the first place. And I think it's going to make his administration look fucking super dope.
Top Lobster
He did deport that one illegal faggot. The one, the TikTok dude. His name is Capichi.
David
I don't even know who that is.
Top Lobster
He's this dude, he comes, he uses the preacher cadence that we were talking about episode five, which I misnumbered episode six of the Genesis series with Ed, maybe. We were talking about perfect pitch and the preacher cadence, and this guy is doing it in Spanish, but he's telling people, he's like, you can just go and settle in a house. Oh, yeah. And take it over.
David
I remember that. Yeah.
Top Lobster
And then he's talking about how much money he's got from TikTok. Well, he's deported, so maybe Trump will do that. That would be hilarious.
David
That would be. I think it's a high likelihood. Yeah, Yeah.
Top Lobster
I agree. Those people.
David
Okay, all right.
Top Lobster
Enough. How's it doing?
David
All right. Wait. Now I forgot where I was doing. Okay. Pass the controller. Whenever we died, just doing dumb stuff in the game, causing havoc. So we all got timely turns, which is. You should play, by the way, when you have friends.
Top Lobster
Yes.
David
After some time, I decided to go upstairs and look at cheat codes on the family computer. I don't know why he said family computer like the mocking spongebob meme.
Top Lobster
Because this was at the time. This is at the time when you had to look up, like, the cheat code is L1L1R1. Was L1L1R1L1R. Yeah.
David
L1R1. No. L1L2R1, R2 left. Down, right, up, left. Yeah. That was like Infinite Weapons. I don't even think that was money. People say that was money. I think it's actually weapons. Weapons.
Top Lobster
It's weapons. Like, the money was like, down, up, down, up, down, up.
David
You ever accidentally look at porn on the family computer.
Top Lobster
Accidentally. Yeah. Oh.
David
I mean, it wasn't an accident. I was, you know, beaten off, but accidentally beating off. All right. Anyway, while writing down cheats, I heard my friend coming up the stairs. And I turn around and see what I thought was him going to the bathroom and almost closed the door all the way. What I saw was the shape of him. Same height as him, same midneck, natty ass, curly dreadlock hair. Damn, dude, roasted your homie. Yeah, he's black. And he looked right at me as he passed the door frame. Hair flung aggressively. 90 degree turn. I'm sorry, 90 degrees head turn. From the angle he was walking directly into the bathroom, that was a really confusing sentence. But this thing was full black. Blacker than black. Very dark. The entire figure was black. That's interesting. So it took on the shape of his homie and even made sure that it had the mid neck, natty ass, curly dreadlock.
Top Lobster
I think this guy was black because in the very beginning of the sentence, I wanted to say, here we go. We. I was 15. I was hanging out and nephew. But I don't remember what he say. And we was.
David
Oh, yeah, we was all. I thought he was being, you know. Yeah.
Top Lobster
When they say was, he spelled it W, U, Z. Yeah. And I was like, oh, he might be a Kang. I think he is a Kang.
David
This is a Kang. All right.
Top Lobster
Hey, shout out to all our kings.
David
Shout out kings.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David
I wasn't scared because it was my friend I saw. At least in my mind. It was just weird that I didn't hear him close the bathroom door. Shortly after I heard the door open again, I turn around to see the same figure walk back, going assumingly back down the stairs. That's weird. So you didn't. You. You did see your friend? For the most part. You saw the shape of them. You saw enough details that you surmised that it was your friend, but you didn't. Well, I mean, if your friend was black, then he just looked extra black.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David
And that wasn't necessarily black today, bro. Yeah, that wasn't enough. Okay.
Top Lobster
Black people do make fun of each other, though, for, like.
David
Oh, for blackness.
Top Lobster
More black.
David
Oh, absolutely. What is it? Charlie Murphy said he used to be the blackest in the world until. Until somebody else came. I forgot who it was. It was. It wasn't like it might have been. Like it might have actually been Michael Blackson. I don't remember who it was, but damn. Yeah, because. Because Charlie Murphy used to call him darkness. Oh, Darkness. Darkness.
Top Lobster
No, no, no, no. You're talking about Rick James.
David
Who?
Top Lobster
Did I say Charlie Murphy was the blackest? He was saying, like, Rick James was black. No, no.
David
Rick James used to call Eddie Murphy and Charlie Murphy the darkness.
Top Lobster
The darkness.
David
And when they showed up, he used to be like, darkness has fallen. Which is crazy. Which is crazy. Okay. Yeah, so they do. They do make fun of each other for being blacker. Okay.
Top Lobster
Wesley Snipes.
David
Wesley Snipes. Thank you, Donnie Darkin. Of course, if anybody was gonna know, it was gonna be Dottie.
Top Lobster
You know, my favorite line from that, that series is, I think it's Paul Mooney as.
David
Oh, my God.
Top Lobster
He goes, wayne Brady makes Brian Gumbel look like Malcolm X. Incredible, Incredible, incredible. Something that I say every day to my son. I wake up, I brush my teeth, I go like, Malcolm X, dude.
David
He's dead, by the way. Paul Mooney's dead. RIP. He's very, very funny. He was gay.
Top Lobster
Yeah, he might.
David
Because when I was a kid and you see him on Chappelle's show, there was something about him. He was in a do rag. I remember all the time in his cut scenes, but he just had very flamboyant. I just didn't know how to place him because I had never heard blacks talk like that. So I was like, oh, this must be a gay one. And I don't know, I've never really put that suspicion to rest. Okay, so he says he saw his friend come back out and then assumingly walk down the stairs. At this point, I thought he was trying to scare me. Going to the bathroom, not closing the door, looking at me as if he entered and exited the bathroom. Oh, shit. Yes, very blessed. So I go after him thinking it was my friend. I turn the corner into the hallway with that feeling of assuming to be jump scared by my retarded friend. I turn another corner to go down the stairs. And as I stood at the platform above, looking down into the basement, I see what can only. What I can only assume was my friend doing a barrel roll.
Top Lobster
What's that mean?
David
Like, a barrel roll? It's a hard word to say. Yeah. Like we fucking? No, that's like a somersault. A barrel roll would be like sideways.
Top Lobster
Oh, that's a weird one.
David
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not really like a great barrel. Not my first, like, go to role. I would go somersault first.
Top Lobster
But yeah, we know.
David
Very rude. All right, so. So I run down the stairs trying to catch this idiot in the act.
Top Lobster
Like Caleb. Caleb wants to know how he sends a super chat in the patreon. You don't.
David
Yeah, you already paid us. Oh wait, if you didn't pay us. Oh, you know what a super chat is? Subscribe dog.
Top Lobster
He is subscribed. He's in the Patreon.
David
Well, he could be subscribed for free.
Top Lobster
Oh yeah. You could also subscribe for more. Yeah, yeah.
David
I think you could do one time donations on Patreon.
Top Lobster
All right. Whatever.
David
I make it just making up. Sorry, Caleb. If not, you know, I'll figure out.
Top Lobster
How to pay us. Stupid.
David
Let's figure out how to pay us. I'll give you my cash app. Okay. Where am I at here? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. So I run down the stairs trying to catch this idiot in the act. Like the jig is up and going in the direction of the roll. I hear my friend go, hey, come check out what I did. He's still playing Grand Theft Auto with my nephew. As I left them to go look up cheat codes.
Top Lobster
There's some other dude doing barrel rolls in your hallway.
David
You left your friend upstairs with your nephew? What kind of uncle are you?
Top Lobster
Weird.
David
So I asked him.
Top Lobster
He doesn't even know his nephew's name.
David
He doesn't even know his. No, he knows his nephew's name. He doesn't know his age.
Top Lobster
I don't even know this kid. Touching me.
David
Go ahead.
Top Lobster
That kid.
David
So I asked him, did you go upstairs and try to scare me from the bathroom? No, I've been playing gta, he said. He began to talk about the game, interrupting him. I asked, so no one went upstairs. He said no.
Top Lobster
What's this? What are you talking about? How. How they can pay you? You can send him something with the. In PayPal and he could read your whole ass name to the. The whole stream. I assume you're talking about tlc.
David
I don't do that anymore. I figured that out. I'm much better at that now. I don't. That doesn't happen. Donnie Darkin. Thank you.
Top Lobster
Wow.
David
But that's the old me. And. And I'm a new man now. All right? So. So, so I. So, so no one went upstairs. He said no. So I told him my experience and that it looked just like him. He couldn't care about anything else but the game. What the. I've had that happen before where my buddy saw like a kid, like a baby standing in the Middle East. Oh, that was. I don't like when you intrusively put toad in my head like that. Like that's. You gotta warn somebody base before you just play a toad drop. Because this Is so invasive.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David
It's like he's inside me.
Top Lobster
I like.
David
It's like, imagine being schizophrenic.
Top Lobster
Imagine Toad being inside anybody.
David
Well, imagine being schizophrenic, but the voice is Toad.
Top Lobster
Oh, my God.
David
Holy.
Top Lobster
Talk about suicide.
David
Like, immediately. All right, so he says he couldn't care about anything else but the game. We was best. I love this fucking guy. We was best friends for years at that time. And I believe it wasn't him, but something else. The other time I saw the black shadow figure thing was at work last year. I'm 28 now. Last time I seen this figure was when I was 15. I. This guy is 100 black, and I'm so.
Top Lobster
I don't. He was at work.
David
Oh, yeah.
Top Lobster
I'm so sorry. That's not nice.
David
So he's 28 now, and the last time he saw this figure is when he was 15. But. But nevertheless, he saw it last year.
Top Lobster
Would this be cool to do at Bohemian Grove? Like. Like if we got like, a. A Chronicle story?
David
I would love to, but the. But the problem is. And it's a very easy problem to get over. I don't like reading them until I get them on air, but I. But I want to make sure that they're bangers.
Top Lobster
So then we have to have somebody pre.
David
A third party.
Top Lobster
A third.
David
A third party that we trust. Hey, Nancy, would you want to read.
Top Lobster
That's a great person.
David
Yeah, it is. I love Nancy. So, Nancy, please, would you consider vetting our. Our NDS Chronicle stories and then. And then coming up with like, a top five or a top three? That would be great.
Top Lobster
Yeah, that I actually agree with that. I very rarely agree with what David asserts her.
David
I agree with the person who is now Raven is. Is better looking than Ian, who also says TLC is the best.
Top Lobster
So if Raven's better looking than Ian is also then Raven, then better looking than top. That's a question.
David
What if we did, like, the Fusion dance and we became. That wouldn't really solve the hype.
Top Lobster
I don't want to touch you.
David
That's true.
Top Lobster
Yeah. So let's continue reading.
David
What do we got here? I had a exit door open. This is when he's 28 years old and he said he saw it at work last year. I had an exit door open for air, and the outside is a small square holler with trees. That's a fat holler. Is like a Southern thing. It's a Southern thing. But what is it in reference to it? I guess it's like a small wooded area?
Top Lobster
Yeah, I think so.
David
Okay, we'll go with that. A small square holler with trees. But then the with tree seems redundant.
Top Lobster
It is redundant.
David
Butted up between our factory and the next. I seen it.
Top Lobster
I seen.
David
I think Scott just sent me money on cash app. Thank you for the 13 on cash app. Scott for you. Pay me. Thank you very much.
Top Lobster
I actually took your. The photo you sent me, and I ran it through Studio Ghibli and I thought about posting about.
David
Did you really? Did you send it to Scott, though?
Top Lobster
I should.
David
You gotta send it to Scott. Yes, Studio Ghibli.
Top Lobster
Once I finished jerking.
David
What am I finished? Dude, that doesn't take that. All right, so as a small holler. Whatever. I synced it. Passed by the door from the outside. Didn't look like anyone I knew this time. And it was 5pm so still daylight. And I couldn't see through this thing. Black is black, and he knows black. Forgive my spelling and grammar, for I am an uneducated polo.
Top Lobster
Whoa, Plot twist. Plot twist.
David
He's a polo dude. I did not see that. That's fucking phenomenal. Damn. You know damn well he's listening to this for this whole, like, 20 minutes, and he's like, they think I'm fucking black. As I wrote this, I wondered if whatever that black shadow figure I saw, maybe my great grandfather, who was simply a chimney sweep covered in soot, coming to check up on me.
Top Lobster
Oh, this makes sense. He's Polish. No, that's.
David
They were all Pretty sure all Polish people were chimney sweeps. But, you know, I got to admit, I don't think that's what's going on here, homie. And it doesn't seem like it's anything nefarious.
Top Lobster
No, Barrel Roll is kind of dope.
David
Yeah. Could your grandpa Barrel Roll. Something tells me a career chimney sweep can't really. Isn't really fucking nimble.
Top Lobster
Could your friend Barrel Roll. I doubt it.
David
He says, God bless you too, after we just fucking.
Top Lobster
Oh, he asked you for $13. He didn't give you $13.
David
Did you give me.
Top Lobster
Yeah, he requested it.
David
He did request it. Oh, shit. Hold on a second. I lost my way.
Top Lobster
I think you should pay him.
David
I was about to pay him, and then I was like, oh, wait, I have to finish reading this. His name is Just four, by the way.
Top Lobster
Just for anybody here.
David
The kid called. Okay, God bless you, too. God bless you for. And additional email, which is not true. It's all the part of the same.
Top Lobster
One additional email is like another paragraph it says, you know how sleep paralysis demons usually manifest in the form of succubus or incubus? Like, they start off looking like a total baby. Before you know it, it's a total uggo haggard witch.
David
Yeah.
Top Lobster
What if sleep paralysis demons manifested in the form of a. A black guy and you think you're being robbed?
David
Honestly, that's a much better way of. Of doing it. Because, you know, when that happens, you just go, like, take whatever you want.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David
And get out of my house. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. As opposed. And then you don't have to have sex with us.
Top Lobster
I do. Yeah. So. Okay, so this guy's. He's kind of on the same wavelength as us. I think he thought about. Yeah, he thought about it a little bit. Then he came back. He's like, that's not my grandfather.
David
Somebody said, dad. Yeah. Because for some reason, our wives just think it's funny to allow the children just come to the door.
Top Lobster
They think it's hilarious.
David
Hilarious. Yeah. You know what's going to be hilarious? I'm trying to run a business over with his whole operation tanks. And then my wife has to go back to work. And their days of being Pilates moms are fucking far behind them. That's what's going to be fun.
Top Lobster
It's very funny. It's funny right now because we're doing chronicles and I don't really care about you.
David
Yeah, yeah.
Top Lobster
But we were on a show.
David
Oh, my God.
Top Lobster
People we didn't know.
David
Yeah.
Top Lobster
Embarrassing. We're bringing forth.
David
Well, no, that's okay. Because while it was happening and you were getting frustrated on your end. On my end, my wife was having a tickle fight with my son that's directly outside the door.
Top Lobster
That's disrespectful. Yeah.
David
Tickle fight. Yeah, Very disrespectful.
Top Lobster
All right, so go ahead, start this.
David
Which one is it?
Top Lobster
The 28th Harry. I think this is the last one we'll do because I'm gonna check on these kids.
David
They're calling the 28th Harry. Okay. Okay. No, we went about what?
Top Lobster
Oh, Chili Bean says, get the children off.
David
Dude, it's so crazy. It's so crazy. Maybe we'll drown them. I want to see how this goes. Actually, I don't want to talk to you guys. I want to say, yell at the. Yell at my wife. Yell at my wife. It's so crazy. Very disrespectful. They go, oh, make enough money so that we can fucking be Pilates moms. I'm like, you don't even do Pilates, number one. And number two, I would, but the only thing holding us back is the occasional sound of children in the background that the fan base hates. Okay, this is. This is from. I forgot whose name this was. I'll ask Top when he comes back in. It says hello to the most dangerous of retards. Hello to you, Anonymous. You're not Anonymous. I just forgot your name. Who's this guy? Did you yell at them? Oh, it was nothing good, right?
Top Lobster
He called me a butthole.
David
Oh, okay.
Top Lobster
No, he asked when we were going to be done.
David
We're going to be done story. How long has it been? An hour. Okay. Hello to the most dangerous of retards. And this is from this. This is so crazy. They can't. Oh my God. Here is my refined story. I use Chat GPT to add more writing where I lacked.
Top Lobster
Wow.
David
I really actually appreciate that.
Top Lobster
Is that a bad idea? It's honestly, it's going to come back with a lot of lies.
David
Are you going to have your a demonic entity tell your demonic story?
Top Lobster
Right, right.
David
I don't know, it kind of tracks. Also, I wanted to add the path I went down with self discovery and all that you guys talk about could have potentially been a lot more dangerous physically and spiritually than what happened to me. I wouldn't recommend freeballing DMT and just trying to figure it out yourself. You guys have made me aware of the dangers I put myself in. Damn. Okay, all right, cool. I don't man. All right. It's crazy.
Top Lobster
All right. So his journey with dmt, somebody says.
David
Your kids sound like my rag doll cat. I don't know.
Top Lobster
My kids aren't even supposed to be here right now. They're supposed to be staying at their grandparents house but they've decided to harass me.
David
Harangue.
Top Lobster
Harangue.
David
I'm not sure the meaning of that word, but I use it often. Do you want to take this one over? This is journey with dmt.
Top Lobster
The first time I smoked dmt. Yeah, it wasn't as overwhelming as I expected, but it was still something. I feel like we just fucking read this.
David
No.
Top Lobster
Yes.
David
No.
Top Lobster
Yeah. Donut shape space. Like being inside a 4D environment.
David
Wait, Anubis appeared?
Top Lobster
Yeah, dog, this is the same shit.
David
This one is written by Chatgpt.
Top Lobster
He's from New Zealand. Wait, Hawaii to New Zealand.
David
Wait, wait, wait. Oh, oh. He actually elaborated.
Top Lobster
Oh, I see.
David
Okay, well now he's gotta wait. Yeah.
Top Lobster
Sorry dude, back of the line.
David
We're gonna come. We're Gonna come on you. We're gonna come back to you next time.
Top Lobster
Okay?
David
We're not gonna come on you.
Top Lobster
This is a long story. Let me see if we have any shorter ones.
David
I'm sorry, whoever you. Harry.
Top Lobster
Harry. Harry. Balls.
David
Harry.
Top Lobster
Oh, this one's long, too. All right, we're gonna. We're gonna go through it until.
David
No, it's fine. Let's do a long one. We got to kill another half an hour, unless you want to go back and care about your kids. I'm either.
Top Lobster
I'm gonna kill kids or kill half an hour. What are we doing?
David
What are we doing here? All right, hold on. Let's see. Where was it? Where's the last one?
Top Lobster
Ponti.
David
Ponty. Yeah. Yeah, let's do Ponty.
Top Lobster
My Ponti's okay.
David
And then we did. And then for. Okay. All right, I see.
Top Lobster
Here's a. So Ponty says, here's a copy of a letter sent to a friend. Guys, stop sending us doubles. It's very confusing when I'm. When I'm trying to figure this out.
David
Oh, this one's very long. So we can't. We can't break to talk about what? What Sam Tripley saying in the chat. What Def AM Jay Brooks is saying in the chat.
Top Lobster
Why not? They're asking if I have a basement. I don't have a basement. This is Florida.
David
Yeah, you don't really have basements. Did Nancy. Did she ever give us an an about whether or not she would screen our things?
Top Lobster
I don't think. Brody. Yeah, Rip Brody. One, two, three. In the chat. If you'll read our. Our.
David
Yes. Will do. It's also three characters.
Top Lobster
Yeah, that's actually. That's true.
David
Yeah.
Top Lobster
Yeah. But then, yes could be to anything. One, two, three.
David
Okay.
Top Lobster
Okay. Good evening, brother. It was a delight seeing you at church. What?
David
This is a letter. Can you pay attention to these people?
Top Lobster
Yeah, I hesitate to say that you can't imagine what a confirmation it was of God's work in my life to share that time with you, since I've shared that time with you, since I've always had the sense you were a straight dealer and not slinging sky bala. What the hell does that mean?
David
I'm sorry, I was just scrolling down because I'm like, this is weird. Like, as soon as it starts off, it's just a letter from somebody else. Sky bala. Where is it? Sky bala.
Top Lobster
Yeah, yeah, sky bala. Very weird. And the Lord tends to show people like this, that that is handiwork from time to time. And, you know, It. When you see it. This is a weird letter, and I'm sure you have. I wanted to write you tonight for a few reasons. First, to let you know that all the most scandalous dreams you may have had for the church may in fact be coming true. And second, that I've. I've just had a crushing, ecstatic spiritual experience which I must testify of immediately.
David
What sorts of scandalous dreams do you have for a church?
Top Lobster
This is a wild letter.
David
I. All right, okay.
Top Lobster
Let's.
David
Let's keep it going.
Top Lobster
I'm gonna read it. Yeah. Both points are related, and I'll illustrate how by way of anecdote. During the pandemic, I had a benefited job with the Parks Department, with all the perks, etc. I believe I related some of this to you during your. During our time together. I gave up that position due to some grave ethical concerns, and during the same period of time, left the board of a small Mennonite church upon which I serve.
David
What. What are. What is it? What is a Mennonite? Do you know?
Top Lobster
I don't know. And we can't even, like, Google it.
David
Because it's a character from Kirby.
Top Lobster
No, Mennonites are.
David
Oh, it's Meta Knight.
Top Lobster
I'm sure that somebody will tell us.
David
Somebody, please sound off in the chat. What is a Meta Knight?
Top Lobster
Yeah, what is a Mennonite? Is it a black Hebrew?
David
Oh, it could be black.
Top Lobster
I don't know. Simultaneously, I was ravaged by mysterious symptoms for months on end that I knew through my thorough familiarity with the specific way.
David
Thank you. Sonny sometimes says it's Amish.
Top Lobster
Amish. Okay. Right, right, right, right. Okay. He was. He knew through his. His familiarity with specific. The specific way diseases are diagnosed in the medical system would have efficiently evade diagnosis nonetheless. So he used WebMD. I continued to believe God would do a work in my life. I, for all intents and purposes, lost my mind. I believe it. I became a dried out leaf, a fragile subject, a shell of who I used to be. My personality was obliterated. I thank God for my friends in this time who tolerated that sad sop I'd been reduced to. Nonetheless, I continued to believe God would do a work in my life.
David
I kind of like the way that.
Top Lobster
This person very, like, straight to the. Straight to the point.
David
Yeah. And. And this is like, how I would want, like, I imagine this was translated from a handwritten letter.
Top Lobster
So Mennonites are Amish, but use technology.
David
Oh, so they're smart than regular ramen.
Top Lobster
People make good bread. Okay, all right. Based Nancy never Answered us. So I guess that's. Yeah, she said no, but she didn't say 1, 2, 3.
David
Oh, so she could be saying yes to anything. Nancy, in the chat, please. One, two, three. If you mean yes, do it now.
Top Lobster
Hurry up.
David
Quickly.
Top Lobster
Where were you anyway, in August? No, no, no. It was so bad that I had to come to terms with the fact that I would never be able to be the person I used to be. That I would never again attain the great capacities for energy, spontaneity and drive that had defined my life before this terrible thing happened to me. I began to muse about ways I might still be able to serve. Even as. As broken and as feeble as I was. I never once thought about taking my own life. Truth be told, images of carnage and murder sometimes occupied me.
David
Whoa.
Top Lobster
Yeah, I. I knew what had. I knew what had happened to me was a work of an enemy. And I set my face like flint to the task of making him regret it.
David
Damn. I don't know. Like this. Writes is reading. I like the way they write.
Top Lobster
It's re. It's like reading a novel. Like where he's setting the table for what's supposed to happen.
David
Yeah. Yeah, okay, so Nancy said yes. Still very confusing. 1, 2, 3 says. Or, I'm sorry. 1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3 says yes.
Top Lobster
I don't know what this means.
David
I don't know what any of it means. Tim pool says 1, 2, 3. So I guess we're covered on that.
Top Lobster
All right, Tim, you'll read our shit.
David
Thank you, Tim Pool. Nancy was very confusing.
Top Lobster
In August of now, Nancy says, no, I don't know. In August of 2020, my mother let me know a realtor friend of hers was looking to set up a micro school on her uniquely suited acreage in the valley.
David
What's that like for ants?
Top Lobster
Micro school? Yeah, it's a school for rants to serve families who had concerns about COVID policies and affecting their children. I'll save a lot of time and say that it worked out. But then some other things happened. Patty, my mother's friend, allowed me to stay in the apartment above her garage at the property in exchange for tutoring her son. From the moment I met her, I could tell Patty and I had a special connection. It was not romantic, but there was an energy to it that was undeniable. We made things happen under the kingdom of God together. And she trusted me with the care of her youngest natural child. Man, this guy is using some like, strange.
David
You know why? Because the way he's talking it, this Feels like it took place a long time ago, doesn't it? Like when people were more respectable. When there was more decorum and manners and things like that. Oh, okay, good. So Nancy says she said yes like five times.
Top Lobster
What? Which is confusing.
David
1, 2, 3 would be enough. Tim Pool clearly wants the job.
Top Lobster
She says no.
David
Ben Shapiro does not want the job. I don't. I don't know. I don't know what to make of it. Q is.
Top Lobster
I'm very confused.
David
You know why? Because you can. You can make your username whatever the you want.
Top Lobster
It's a perk of the Patreon.
David
I have no idea who is who anymore. Nancy says 1, 2, 3. But also Nancy says maybe this is crazy. I don't know what to do. Oh my God.
Top Lobster
Join the Patreon for $5. Befuddle us in the live chat.
David
Def. Not defm. J. Brooks says David is looking skinny. I think Cole is going to win.
Top Lobster
I think so.
David
I don't think Cole's gonna win.
Top Lobster
So much transpired. Nothing scandalous. She ended up kicking me out of the apartment during an ill advised scheme to help her sister end a long and complicated marriage. It was awkward and something about the whole thing struck me as bitter and straight as bitter. Strange. What the are you talking about?
David
This is basically a wizard.
Top Lobster
Yeah. I don't.
David
Yeah.
Top Lobster
Fast forward a year and a half. Patty contacts me in the midst of a psychotic break she's experiencing as a result of having missed a week's worth of sleep. Just missed it. Ah, I hate when that happens.
David
A week's worth.
Top Lobster
One week.
David
What happens to you after seven days of no sleep?
Top Lobster
I think five days you die. But.
David
Right. This bitch is strong.
Top Lobster
Yeah, she's strong. She's strange.
David
Strong as hell strong.
Top Lobster
I. I talk her through it, pray fervently. She got that Mennonite strike.
David
Someone shot boogers on your microphone.
Top Lobster
That was crazy. And eventually she returns to her right state of mind. I can tell the Lord wants me back in the life of Patty and her husband. Oh, boy. Who by this time had become one of my dearest friends.
David
Okay.
Top Lobster
Oh my gosh. There's a cuckoldry going on here now.
David
Oh, not good.
Top Lobster
Don't like it. We're both Pentecostals. That's important to establish right here. Who the fuck is writing this letter?
David
I don't know who's writing this letter.
Top Lobster
Okay.
David
A wizard.
Top Lobster
Since this is when the story takes a radical turn toward the truly bizarre. Oh, now it gets bizarre. I come to learn that since I had. I Had them. Patty and my friend Steve had come under serious attack relating to their marriage since.
David
Since I had seen them.
Top Lobster
Since I had seen them. Right, right, right.
David
Not because had them.
Top Lobster
That sounds like a threesome Freudian slip on my part.
David
And that's not. I don't want to put that on him.
Top Lobster
Nancy says yes. Nancy says no. Then she says she'll DM you on Twitter.
David
I'll go to the one that says real Nancy. Nancy go up.
Top Lobster
Nancy Patriot says, oh, Nancy Pelosi.
David
Oh, that's Nancy Pelosi at the top, though. Real Nancy says, I said no. So.
Top Lobster
Okay, okay.
David
Thank you. I. I mean, you know, at least. Thanks for clearing it up.
Top Lobster
Yeah. And I guess we'll read it ourselves. Patty and my friend Steve had come under serious attack. Patty had been drawn into a web of lies, delusions, sheer malice that caused her to relentlessly sabotage a marriage of 17 years with no apparent motive.
David
Patty sits upon a throne of lies.
Top Lobster
She's been lied to.
David
By who?
Top Lobster
By who? I was left counseling my poor beloved, my poor bewildered friend, and trying to find it in me to encourage him to salvage. To encourage him and salvage the situation, despite what began to seem more and more like some dark spiritual influence plying, plying his vulnerable, half broken wife.
David
You know what this guy does? This guy has access to all the words. I wish I had access. I know, like, I have access to seven words or nine words or whatever it is. This has the whole Rolodex. Words.
Top Lobster
Seen some.
David
Some.
Top Lobster
Yeah. Oh, we're old. This is actually great. I like that. We are all Nancy.
David
Yeah, I agree with that.
Top Lobster
Yeah. You guys are a bunch of Nancy's Nancy gang. Shout out, Nancy Reagan. All right.
David
Oh, you Nancy.
Top Lobster
Huh? I'm not a Woo woo person. I have seen neither a ghost. I see. Like, I love how he phrases it. Like, I haven't seen a ghost, but he says, I have seen neither.
David
No, you know what? He didn't even say it. I. I have seen neither.
Top Lobster
Neither a ghost nor a credible ufo. No longer true in parentheses. Despite all my best efforts. Let that preface two experiences I will now relate semicolon. The first, I tell Steve, I know this sounds crazy, but I feel like the spirit. But I feel like in the spirit there are, like, gremlins running around this deck.
David
Huh?
Top Lobster
Immediately, Bailey, the family dog, barks directly in the direction I had been, indicating where I felt the gremlins might be.
David
That's interesting.
Top Lobster
Second, I was having a conversation with Patty on the same deck one night. Steve and I had noticed had both Noticed that Patty would sometimes be lucid and other times fall into a sort of fugue where she would just babble nonsense and act nuts. Wow. Patty's not in good shape.
David
No.
Top Lobster
Well, during that conversation where she was very lucid that night on the deck, we were discussing some pretty important things, when all. All of a sudden, I could see a change in her countenance.
David
I don't even know what the fuck that means.
Top Lobster
Her. Her visit, visage, appearance.
David
Okay, context, clue should have told me that.
Top Lobster
Yeah. And she began to fall off. In that same moment, I became aware of a presence behind her, which I could see as vividly as the computer monitor in front of me, albeit in my mind's eye.
David
Albeit?
Top Lobster
Nigga, albeit. Is that what you say? I don't know how you say these words. Be it. Why not then say three words, all be it. Right? This is a word.
David
That's a great question. Why not?
Top Lobster
I'm gonna request that the next people that write to us please keep.
David
No, write like this. This is. This is gonna help us to develop.
Top Lobster
This is embarrassing, Albeit in my mind's eye. It was a tall figure, all black, wearing a loose robe onto the floor and a featureless, pointed chin. Pointed. Chinned black mask.
David
Wait, what?
Top Lobster
Yeah, a black figure with a pointed chin. Black mask. He looked like someone illustrated him in. In crayon. That's crazy. Caveat.
David
Good job.
Top Lobster
Yeah. I am not the type of person, the kind of person who had ever in my life had anything remotely like this kind of experience anyway. I, of course, began to pray silently and as hard. Silently. As hard and as loud as one can with his mouth closed. Because all of this was very shocking. And sudden. And sudden. And what else could I do? I proclaimed the authority of Jesus. Demand this. This Leave. Demanded it. To leave my friend alone. And furiously berated it for even having the gall to do this right in front of a child of God.
David
I like that energy.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David
Damn.
Top Lobster
As I was doing this, Patty's head slumped down as if she were in an animatronic and somehow had pulled the plug.
David
Huh. Wow.
Top Lobster
Mind you, I gave no indication of anything I was doing or experiencing. My eyes were open, and outwardly I was listening to Patty rambled. Later, she would tell me during that moment that she could feel. That she could feel indescribable things happening. I don't doubt it. Man.
David
What the. So this is all happening on the back deck.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David
Right. Just to go back, right. During the conversation, she was very lucid. That night in the deck, we were discussing some Pretty important things. When all of a sudden, I could see a change in her and I became aware of a presence behind her.
Top Lobster
Man, I'm gonna read this, like, the last. These three paragraphs, and then I'll let you pick up. Up.
David
I just had to go back and get that because I was like, is that what I'm hearing?
Top Lobster
Yeah. Finally, after much travail.
David
Great word brushing.
Top Lobster
This thing jumped on the roof and told me in no uncertain terms that this is as far. That this is as far as he needed to go, and that he still held authority here despite the power of the spirit wielded against him.
David
Did he now? Is this like a telepathic download? Is this just an impression that you got, or is this thing verbalizing this to you?
Top Lobster
That's a good question.
David
That's fascinating.
Top Lobster
It told him, like, that's as far as he needs to go, according to what. What he's wielding against him, which is very interesting. Like, there's a distance. There's a measurement.
David
It's almost like it's saying, whatever I came here to do, this is as far as I needed to go. So.
Top Lobster
No, no, no. When he. When he's sending him away, it says.
David
This thing jumped up on the roof and told me in no uncertain terms that this is as far as he needed to go.
Top Lobster
Yeah. From him. From him rebuking him because he had. That thing is saying he had authority. Damn. In that house.
David
So he's like, yeah, you can rebuke me, but only this far. Yeah.
Top Lobster
Because, like, damn. He's saying, you're not welcome here. But apparently Patty has welcomed him.
David
That's crazy.
Top Lobster
So my friend Patty would go on to lose her mind, lose her house, and end up on the streets.
David
That sucks, dude.
Top Lobster
Wild. My friend Steve would go on to have to battle for months and months against this woman who was once his closest friend. As she set every intention and resource in her life to the task of destroying him. She began to stalk me, too.
David
So, by the way, we're describing a divorce, right? A separation, which, you know, we've hammered down that pattern.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David
Pretty effectively here on this show.
Top Lobster
She was stalking him to showing up to his church, showing up to my work on multiple occasions. She only managed to find me the first time. Every other attempt she made was thwarted by miraculous, near impossible interventions by my dear father, who loves me so, so much least. Incredible. All right, go ahead. Pick this up tonight.
David
Tonight, I went back to the house for the first time since before Thanksgiving of last year to see Steve and his son, Steve Jr. Who got unfortunate names. Yes, it's not good. But you know, it's cool to have a junior, I guess, who God has such plans for. My parents were there too. We talked about selling the house, getting she truck up. Not sure what that is.
Top Lobster
Oh, she rock, right?
David
Yeah, I just read it as she truck. Wow. I thought it was two separate words.
Top Lobster
Incredible.
David
Repairing all the damage she had done all throughout the place. Work, school, all the mundane stuff. Eventually my parents left and it was just Steve and I. I told him how proud I was of him that he had managed to save his natural 12 year old son and his adopted 5 year old from what could have been a catastrophe. We went over our shared trauma. I encouraged him to keep pressing on and that these things he had poured himself into would reverberate for generations. That God would honor his honor and his steadfastness and love for those who depended on him. I called him a man and told him if he ever had any doubts, those were certainly ended now. Damn. This is like a. I mean this is like. Like the homie, you know what I mean? Like to have somebody in your life like this. I made my way back to the house feeling glad that I made the trip. I began settling in for the night, preparing to receive my very late mod pizza order, beginning to think about tomorrow and the tasks which lay before me. When all of a sudden this feeling began to well up inside me. It was something like gratitude, something like awe, something like the deepest affection you could imagine. And before I knew what was going on, I found myself face down on my carpet, sobbing. You are good. You are good. You are so good. You are so good. You are so good. And when I say sobbing, I mean snot running out of my nose. My glasses filled with tears. Choking, coughing, almost retching, sobbing. I had never had anything like that happen either. I was being destroyed before the glory of God. He was obliterating everything in me that wasn't praise. He was opening the heavenlies just behind my head so I could hear the sounds of his victories, even if my eyes were too weak and lowly to look at them. You are good. You are so good. I sobbed. Damn, dude, what the. Then I realized my pizza was going to arrive any minute. My pizza's God damn, bro.
Top Lobster
Hold on. God.
David
Domino's. And it was rude to not have already turned on the porch light. And if I really loved God, I better go serve that delivery driver. So I literally stumbled to the door, wiping snot and tears out of the mat of beard and hair that formed in front of a face. Just in front of face, just as it arrived. Fascinating. That's a while, too. Just because he's talking about serving the delivery driver. Like, this dude sees it as important to go and turn the porch light on.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David
Which is like, how many Domino's guys have navigated a dark front porch? Like, it's not. Not a big deal, but this dude. I almost wish I cared about anything that much. Yeah. You know what I mean? To the extent. Yeah. That he's. He's really, like, giving a shit about his buddy's relationship and all these different things. I waited for the driver before retrieving my piece. Thanks for reading this. I had to share it with you because it was one of the most profound things I've ever experienced. And I feel like there's an aroma of prophecy to the whole thing. Christopher and Christopher Jr. Were delivered through the faithlessness of the saints, after all. I'm sorry. The faithfulness. My mistake. Of the saints. After all the most scandalous dreams I've ever had for the church involve the king coming and ruling his kingdom and his people living out the listening to his voice to. Of his voice to his voice.
Top Lobster
The listening to. Of his voice to.
David
Of his voice. I could say so much on the topic. God's faithfulness in the community I'm a part of and what I believe God has planned for the future. But I'll just say this. I have always been a radical, but up until this last six months, I've never really experienced the supernatural. Through this experience, God has confirmed not only that the invisible world is highly involved in the waking. I'm sorry, in the working of the visible one, but that the larger overarching framework, which is the kingdom of darkness and light manifesting through people, ideas, institutions, and the rest of the human experience, is searingly, shockingly, unignorably real. God bless you and your family, and may whatever you put your hand to bear much fruit. Gratefully. Ponty.
Top Lobster
I know Ponty. Ponty's on. On X.
David
Are you. Are you talking about.
Top Lobster
Yeah, Talking about Pontifex. I think this is.
David
This is because I got another homie that hangs out in the. In the TLC chat. I don't know what his actual name is, but I pronounce it Pontia Spirate.
Top Lobster
Pontifex Minimus.
David
Okay. Okay.
Top Lobster
I think.
David
Yeah, I think that's right. I think that's exactly. Dude.
Top Lobster
Pontifex banger story, if you want to follow him. Acidly devout at.
David
At Acid. It might not.
Top Lobster
I think this is him I'm pretty sure that's him.
David
This was, like, written like a man. I. I often read things that make me feel retarded.
Top Lobster
Nancy says 1, 2, 3. Yes.
David
Oh, thank you, Nancy.
Top Lobster
Thank you.
David
All right. Thanks for clearing that up, Nancy. Oh. Nancy Pelosi says chronic traumatic encephalopathy is the degenerative brain disease found in athletes. Don't do that. I can't see. Now, military veterans and others with a history of repetitive brain trial trauma. Interesting. Cool.
Top Lobster
All right.
David
I don't know if that was relative to what we were saying.
Top Lobster
No, they're talking about you. They're calling you retarded.
David
I don't have any brain. I might have brain damage. Man, that. That was really heavy. That was really, really heavy. And it's nice because so much of what we often talk about is, you know, the big greasy demon thing, which isn't. Obviously, there was an aspect of that in here. I think it was fascinating that he had that experience and then they went on to get separated. Yeah, like, we see that over and over again. It's like each time we find out that somebody has some harrowing demonic experience, the chances that there is a divorce either happening did happen or is going to happen in the near future after that event. Highly likely.
Top Lobster
Yeah, it's. Man, it's. What a tragic story. Painted. Painted beautifully.
David
Well, it came out beautifully. Right? I mean, that was really. It really was beautiful. By the end of it. It just sucks for what happened to his buddy and. And I guess their marriage. Although he seems to have came out of it the. On the other side, you know, keeping reality.
Top Lobster
It's a reality to what. What can possibly happen. So obviously. What's her name? Patty.
David
Patty.
Top Lobster
Patty.
David
I might have just made that up.
Top Lobster
Patty might have been involved with something that had some rights over her.
David
Yeah, I mean, I. You know, the grace that this was written with is making it so that I don't completely dunk on Patty. But I would say that at least conservatively, whatever the hell Patty was involved in, she succumbed to something.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David
She gave something permission.
Top Lobster
It seemed like she asked for it as well.
David
That's so crazy that he rebukes it. And then I would love to know, like, in. In what? Because he said in no uncertain terms, did this thing tell him that this is as far as he needs to go?
Top Lobster
Probably telepathically, like, made it very. That's the thing, like, when you're talking about telepathy, it just seems like it would give him this emotion or this surety of, like. I understand but this is as far as I go. That's. That's like.
David
That's crazy. Yeah, like, yeah, sure, I get what.
Top Lobster
You'Re doing over there with the Jesus stuff, but.
David
But I have rights. Yeah, man, I got rights. That's like that, Marcinski. You have no way to enter or no right to interfere with our way of life. Right, right. And it's like, well, I guess he has some rights. He can cast you out of maybe his vicinity. Right. Maybe that's why it was moving away is like, all right. Yeah. I don't have any rights to you if you're calling on the name of Jesus Christ and I have to remove myself from you.
Top Lobster
But I say I'll stay over here.
David
But I'm gonna hang out on this rooftop that's dark. I wonder if he ever told Patty.
Top Lobster
I think she went crazy. Would it matter?
David
Please don't forget that pick top. Oh, that's Scott. He wants.
Top Lobster
Oh, yes, I will send it to you right after.
David
Well, thank you, Ponty, for the fascinating story and thank you for giving such a. About the English language. That was.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David
Almost remarkable. You have to understand it's very easy to impress us as we are a.
Top Lobster
Couple of these couple vows. We're like, damn, these guys are smart.
David
Couple these couple dows. All right, are we going to bring it in for a landing now? Look, we made it to the. A tight hour and a half.
Top Lobster
Yeah, look at that. Perfect.
David
Boom.
Top Lobster
All right guys, it's been another day. Like the children are quiet, but whatever it's been.
David
Oh wait, where do they submit stuff? They submit stuff to Nephilim D Squad. If you have a heart harrowing experience. Doesn't have to be harrowing. If you just have a supernatural experience that you want to share with us and you want us to read it on the air. Nephilim D squadmail.com send it our way and we will get back to you probably three months after you send it. We'll do our best. We're going to start doing these more often. Often. But thank you guys for your submissions and if you want to send more nephilimd squad gmail.com.
Top Lobster
That'S right. And until then, don't forget to obey, submit and comply.
David
The greatest hypnotist on planet Earth is a problem box in the corner of the room. It is constantly telling us what to believe is real. You can persuade us that what they've seen to their eyes is what there is to see. See because they'll face of an explanation that portrays bigger picture and they have.
Episode 014: NDS Chronicles - Patty
Nephilim Death Squad
Release Date: April 4, 2025
Hosts: Top Lobsta Productions (Top Lobsta) and Raven
Overview
In Episode 014 of Nephilim Death Squad titled "NDS Chronicles - Patty," hosts Top Lobsta and Raven delve into listener-submitted paranormal experiences, exploring them through a Biblical lens. This episode focuses on unsettling testimonies that blend supernatural encounters with personal struggles, offering listeners a deep dive into the mysterious and often troubling intersections between faith and the unknown.
1. Introduction and Technical Difficulties (00:01 - 03:07)
The episode begins with Top Lobsta Productions' signature intro, quickly transitioning into a discussion about the pervasive influence of negative forces in society. The hosts express concerns about being controlled by malicious entities and hint at upcoming discussions about conspiracies and spiritual warfare.
Shortly after, Top Lobsta and Raven face technical audio issues, leading to an exchange filled with humor and frustration. These moments set the tone for the episode, emphasizing the hosts' casual and candid interaction style.
2. Listener Submission: "Big Meat Soda" - Spirit Box Experiences (04:00 - 20:40)
Summary:
The first major segment features a submission from a listener named "Big Meat Soda." He recounts his teenage fascination with paranormal television shows and his subsequent purchase of an SB7 spirit box to communicate with the spirit world. Initially, his attempts yield no results, but after some research, he discovers the "key" to making the spirit box work, which unleashes a series of unanticipated and terrifying events.
Key Points:
Initial Skepticism and Experimentation: Big Meat Soda starts by experimenting with the spirit box, hoping to discern between genuine paranormal activity and staged entertainment.
Paranormal Manifestations: After activating the spirit box effectively, he begins receiving messages, including mentions of his cat, which seems benign at first.
Escalation of Supernatural Activity: The situation deteriorates as he experiences sleep paralysis, hallucinations of alligator-dog hybrids, and other intense paranormal phenomena that threaten his sense of reality.
Resolution Through Faith: In a moment of desperation, he prays for salvation, which leads to the cessation of the haunting events. He destroys the spirit box, and peace returns to his household.
Notable Quotes:
Big Meat Soda [06:11]: "The only way I would find out for sure if all this paranormal stuff was just for entertainment purposes or reality is to try it myself."
Top Lobsta [09:46]: "He rambles nonsense and act nuts."
Big Meat Soda [20:22]: "But I don't trust her."
3. Listener Submission: "Yakub" - DMT and Spiritual Awakening (24:04 - 45:06)
Summary:
Another compelling story comes from a listener named "Yakub." He shares his profound experiences with DMT, describing his journeys as transformative encounters with deities like Anubis and angelic beings. These experiences shift his beliefs from agnosticism to a deep spiritual awakening, prompting him to explore the realms of fallen angels and Nephilim.
Key Points:
DMT Experiences: Yakub describes his initial foray into DMT as less overwhelming than expected but still significant in altering his perception of reality.
Encounter with Anubis: He meets the ancient Egyptian deity Anubis, who follows him silently, signifying a protective or guiding presence.
Vision of an Angel: Yakub witnesses a fiery angelic figure transforming into rings with eyes, reminiscent of Biblical descriptions like Ezekiel's wheels.
Spiritual Awakening: These supernatural encounters lead him to a heightened sense of spirituality, aligning with the show's focus on Biblical conspiracies and the supernatural.
Notable Quotes:
Yakub [30:29]: "Imagine the space as if it were a 4D environment."
Top Lobsta [33:17]: "Yaccubian. I can't say that on this show."
Yakub [31:37]: "These experiences led me to a spiritual awakening."
4. Listener Submission: "Ponty" - Spiritual Battles and Personal Struggles (56:25 - 87:34)
Summary:
The most extensive submission comes from a listener named "Ponty," who narrates his tumultuous experiences intertwining spiritual warfare with personal relationships. His testimony includes near-death experiences, encounters with dark entities, and the impact of these events on his friendships and familial ties.
Key Points:
Spiritual Warfare: Ponty describes intense battles with malevolent spirits that attack his friends and disrupt marriages, highlighting the pervasive nature of evil forces.
Personal Struggles: He shares near-death experiences, including a flight that nearly crashes and an attempted abduction, emphasizing his resilience in the face of danger.
Impact on Relationships: The spiritual disturbances lead to strained relationships, including sabotaged marriages and stalking by afflicted individuals.
Faith and Resilience: Despite the horrors, Ponty remains steadfast in his faith, praying and invoking the authority of Jesus to combat the evil unfolding around him.
Notable Quotes:
Ponty [75:42]: "As I began settling in for the night, preparing to receive my pizza order, I found myself face down on my carpet, sobbing. 'You are good. You are so good.'"
Top Lobsta [71:08]: "Let that preface two experiences I will now relate."
Ponty [73:07]: "Patty had been drawn into a web of lies, delusions, sheer malice that caused her to relentlessly sabotage a marriage of 17 years with no apparent motive."
5. Hosts' Discussions and Insights
Throughout the episode, Top Lobsta and Raven offer their interpretations and reflections on the submitted stories. They draw connections between the experiences and broader themes of spiritual warfare, the influence of fallen angels, and the role of faith in combating evil.
Key Insights:
Role of Spirit Boxes: The hosts discuss the effectiveness of spirit boxes in communicating with the supernatural, weighing skepticism against reported successes.
Spiritual Resilience: They emphasize the importance of faith and prayer in overcoming dark entities, as demonstrated by Big Meat Soda and Ponty's testimonies.
Biblical Conspiracies: The stories reinforce the podcast's focus on uncovering Biblical conspiracies, particularly regarding Nephilim and fallen angels influencing modern society.
Notable Quotes:
Top Lobsta [17:06]: "Maybe there's some logic to it."
Raven [21:26]: "That’s a whole other story."
6. Audience Interaction and Requests
The episode features interactions with live chat participants who submit comments and questions. While some interactions involve teasing and humor, others pertain to the listeners' appreciation of the show and requests for more content.
Key Points:
Live Chat Engagement: Hosts respond to listener comments, sometimes diverting into humorous banter while maintaining the episode's core focus.
Encouraging Submissions: Top Lobsta and Raven encourage listeners to submit their paranormal experiences for future episodes, emphasizing the value of shared testimonies.
Notable Quotes:
Raven [29:03]: "Please, because I don't even know if this person's with me or not."
Top Lobsta [44:14]: "They don't submit."
7. Conclusion
As the episode wraps up, the hosts address the technical issues once more and reiterate their invitation for listeners to support the podcast via Patreon. They emphasize the importance of community and shared experiences in uncovering and understanding the hidden forces at play in the world.
Final Thoughts
Episode 014 of Nephilim Death Squad offers a gripping exploration of listener-submitted paranormal experiences, seamlessly blending personal testimonies with analytical discussions. Top Lobsta and Raven maintain a balance between engaging storytelling and insightful commentary, making the episode both entertaining and thought-provoking for fans of conspiracy and supernatural phenomena.
Support the Podcast:
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