
NDS CHRONICLES IS BACK David Lee Corbo (The Raven) and Top Lobsta go full send on the latest listener-submitted paranormal testimonies while roasting everything in sight.In this episode: • The guys tear into a cringey “HotMomFits” / Queen of...
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David Lee Corbo
Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.
Top Lobster
Top Lobster Productions. In the shadows of the Ancient One. They never went away.
David Lee Corbo
They're still here today.
Top Lobster
And we're gonna have to review that.
David Lee Corbo
Welcome.
Top Lobster
Pull up the tape.
David Lee Corbo
Welcome to. Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to NDS Chronicles. The show where we talk a lot of. We talk a lot of. And we also read sometimes your paranormal testimony, if you want to send it. And was it chronicles? Nds Gmail.com. i am David Lee Corbo, aka the Raven. That is Top Lobster, the father of disinformation. And before we get into, I guess, more crap talking, a little reminder, a great place to support us. Patreon.com/now/nephilim death Squad. Sign up there and you're gonna access to episodes before the general public. Especially because we've been banned off of YouTube.
Top Lobster
Should we. Well, we have a week off YouTube.
David Lee Corbo
We have a week off of YouTube.
Top Lobster
Like a vacation.
David Lee Corbo
So this is going to be the only fucking place that you can.
Top Lobster
We're going to. We're going to open up a baptismal level.
David Lee Corbo
Oh yeah. Which is going to cost 250. 50. But it's a sliding scale all the way up to $1,000. And what else? You're going to get other shit there. I forget what it is. Oh yeah. Access to communities like our. Not only our Patreon Community, Salvation, Eternal Salvation and Telegram and Discord. Those will be made available to you as well. Also discount codes off of merchandise from top lobster.com. which is not only where you can get super dope ass shirts like the one that Top Lobster is currently wearing. The Fear not shirt, that's actually like a fan favorite. The Fear Not.
Top Lobster
Sure.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah. That's like among the greatest hits. Should never be taken down. I don't think this one and that one I think should always remain on the website while we cycle.
Top Lobster
You know what? When I, when I drew him, I said, nailed it.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, nailed it. You did nail it. Also, you can go there to get bro Bohemian Grove tickets with. Just for clarification purposes. Don't talk about my Forehead. The chat's talking about my forehead. This is only for the. The general admission tickets are for 8 8. You will not be doing anything, at least not with us on 8 7, because that's for the VIP day. Only VIPs get access to both days. So if you're one of the people that were too slow and too poor, the 88 day is the only one that's left. That's a general admission ticket.
Top Lobster
However, it's rough out here.
David Lee Corbo
I have been thinking, because a lot of people have been expressing that they, you know, want access to both days. They wanted VIP tickets, and we sold them all out. Might be able to make some room for a couple more. I don't know if that's for sure gonna happen, but if you're interested in that, we might make. It's gonna be real small, like 10 more available.
Top Lobster
How are we gonna do that?
David Lee Corbo
I don't know. We have to talk to the bosses.
Top Lobster
Okay.
David Lee Corbo
You know, to see if we can do that. If that's something that you want to gear into Break the law. We're gonna break out some other people. I've been telling people, like performers, I'm. You can come and hang out on that day. Maybe I'll let you know how. How it. How it goes.
Top Lobster
There's a lot of people in this chat.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, well, the Patreon is cooking. It's popping. Pussy popping on a handstand. Headstand. I don't know which.
Top Lobster
You can't say shit like that, so.
David Lee Corbo
Well, I want to talk about something that's very fun to me, and I'm going to go ahead and screen share this and we'll bring it up. Just give me a second here.
Top Lobster
I had a little bit of your beef. Or my beef first. We got beef.
David Lee Corbo
Well, apparently your beef is a lot more legendary and probably important.
Top Lobster
Yeah. But I'm more interested in your beef. I've been to consumed.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Top Lobster
All consuming beef.
David Lee Corbo
It's nice to step out every once in a while. Okay, so here, let's bring this up then, and we'll. We'll unmute this. So this is a show that I. I don't know the show. I've not watched it. This is a guy that we were gonna create some content with and I don't know, maybe. Maybe. Yeah. Oh, wait, you remember this guy?
Top Lobster
Okay. Should we just say the truth of what happened?
David Lee Corbo
Well, I don't know what happened. Did something else happen?
Top Lobster
Yeah. So they got times mixed up. We had two White Rabbit podcasts at the same time.
David Lee Corbo
That's Right.
Top Lobster
This is the guy.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, it's him. We were supposed to have this guy on a while ago. We had two people booked for the same day, both with rabbit in their name.
Top Lobster
As a matter of fact, I think she messaged me the other day and I have not messaged her back.
David Lee Corbo
She's cool. I like her. She's not gonna come to Bohemian Grove. She can't make it.
Top Lobster
I think she's got dog.
David Lee Corbo
I just.
Top Lobster
So. So this guy, swamp trash in the Orthodox church.
David Lee Corbo
That's right.
Top Lobster
Doing other things. Yeah. It's crazy.
David Lee Corbo
So I don't really know. His show is neither here nor there. We haven't. We were gonna do a show with them. I don't know. Who knows? Maybe it still might happen.
Top Lobster
Yeah. Oh, okay. So we're not like, completely.
David Lee Corbo
No, I mean, I don't have any problem with the guy.
Top Lobster
Well, what do you got a problem with?
David Lee Corbo
His fucking annoying guests? Look, sometimes you do a show and your guest is fucking annoying. That's not anything. How many times have we done a show, guys? And. And we've had annoying guests down here.
Top Lobster
Which one's the annoying?
David Lee Corbo
You can see this bitch. So. So there's two of them, by the way. He sends this to me. Like, this is like. He just goes. Look like he just sends it to the DMs.
Top Lobster
So you go, hey, do you like that?
David Lee Corbo
Okay, so, hey, you're gonna ask me if I like it if I don't fucking like it? No, that's not on me, dude. So here, I'll show it to you, then we can talk about it.
Top Lobster
Okay. Okay.
David Lee Corbo
Are literally like, human bitches are hot as fuck. Let's go mate with them.
Top Lobster
Pause it, pause it, pause it, pause it, pause it, pause it. Before you do anything.
David Lee Corbo
Hold on.
Top Lobster
This is. It's improper unless we do this.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, yeah.
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Liberty Mutual customizes your car and home insurance. And now we're customizing this ad for your morning commute to wake you up, which could help your driving. Science says that stimulating the brain increases alertness. So here's a pop quiz. How many months have 28 days. What gets wetter as it dries? What has keys but can't open? Locks. If you don't want to hear the answers, turn off this Liberty mutual ad now. 12 months. A towel, Piano. Enjoy being fully alert.
David Lee Corbo
Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. I already see where this is, whatever the fuck this show is. This is Chronicle. I don't know. But. Okay, so she's talking about fallen angels. Nephilim. Okay, so that's probably why he sent it to us.
Top Lobster
Well, it's like. It's also like this biblical precedent of who's the audience, right? Like, who are they to.
David Lee Corbo
Sure.
Top Lobster
Not me, for sure. I've listened for three seconds. I already know.
David Lee Corbo
Well, this is not the problem is you send me here. Let's just let it play.
Top Lobster
Let it play.
David Lee Corbo
Rally together. Basically, they're like, all of us go. We can't all get in trouble, right? They all go, and they fuck all these women. And God is like, this is a mess. And all of his angels are, like, telling on them. They're like, oh, my God, Are you watching what these, like, our brothers are doing? And God's like, I hate that. Like, oh, my God. And God's like, I hate that, basically. And so what, the nephilim are. Are what? The.
Top Lobster
The spawn of the watchers and the human women.
David Lee Corbo
So they're like these abominations that are giants and. Sorry, I have something in my eye
Top Lobster
and you got it.
David Lee Corbo
They grow and grow and grow. People can't feed them, so they start eating people. And this is where the angels are, like, freaking out in heaven. They're like, oh, but they're eating people. And keep going, keep going. Fight each other to death, basically. And the spirits of the nephilim, it says they wandering the earth. 200 watchers are literally, man.
Top Lobster
Dude, that was good. So, honestly, I mean, what. What we had. What's her name? I forget. Wow, that's so up.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, you better remember her name. There's a lot of women. We have a lot of women on this show. Woman. Woman. No, we have more than one.
Top Lobster
Who, Who? The woman we paid Tiffany.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's very. This is like the Nephilim for Tiffany, for our social media producer.
Top Lobster
Yes.
David Lee Corbo
Or whatever the heck she was. So where is it?
Top Lobster
Is it off of me? It's.
David Lee Corbo
It's really. No, it's all over you. It's really. All right. So that's why we were late.
Top Lobster
We were trying. We were like, yo, these fucking cameras are too brown.
David Lee Corbo
And we just couldn't. Honestly, that was the problem.
Top Lobster
It was.
David Lee Corbo
The cameras were too. That's not even a fucking joke, dude. It turns out. Why. It's also brown.
Top Lobster
And then we saw, like. I went to the bathroom and I looked in the mirror. I was like, oh, David, we just
David Lee Corbo
got the cameras, dude. So. So, okay. He sends this to me as if to fucking. He goes, hey, you like this? Oh, I do, but for the reasons that you think so. So I. I think I comment. Be fair.
Top Lobster
What Would you give her on a scale of 1 to 10, as far as she. How she explained it? Like, they were like totally growing and growing.
David Lee Corbo
So as far as information, I have no problem with the information, right? No problem with the information. 100% growing and growing.
Top Lobster
And like people couldn't like feed them anymore.
David Lee Corbo
I was like, oh my God.
Top Lobster
So then they started like eating the people.
David Lee Corbo
Oh my God, they're eating the people. God. Like, yeah, it's not, it's not good. So it's the delivery of the information that is. It feels like for me.
Top Lobster
Yeah, for me. Yeah, for me. Horrific. But yeah, part of me, I gotta check myself, I gotta check the hate. Because I look at it and I realize if it was better produced, like number one, you fucked up. Cause she's like real small.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, yeah, she should be the main focus.
Top Lobster
Yeah, she should have her tits. Tits out, probably.
David Lee Corbo
Well, that's the thing, by the way. She is like, oh, did she. No, no, she doesn't have her thing. But she's. Let's see, she's. And I'll go and say give her a shout out because this doesn't mean that I hate her. She's at hot mom.
Top Lobster
Oh, she does have her tits out. Okay.
David Lee Corbo
All she does is if I actually go to her page. This is a free shadow. You're gonna get a free shout out on this show, David. You and your.
Top Lobster
Be nice.
David Lee Corbo
Stupid tits. So, so look, this is queen of controversy, aspiring muscle mommy. Whatever, whatever. It's fine. Critically acclaimed, actual mommy, DM for partnerships. And all she does is like, it's conspiracies, right? They're poisoning and killing the wildlife. So those of us who could survive, whatever. And that's her formula. It goes, hey, here's some text about conspiracies. Look at my tits. Some text about conspiracy. That's the whole page. Some text about conspiracies. Look at my tits. So she's crushing.
Top Lobster
Listen, she's taken three things that well, Tits, working out. Conspiracies.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Top Lobster
And you put them all in. I mean, this is a no brainer.
David Lee Corbo
I have no problem.
Top Lobster
I understand why you're mad though.
David Lee Corbo
Well, it's not even that I'm mad. That's the thing. It's like, I don't dislike her. But if you're gonna ask me. Because effectively what you've done is you've asked me. You asked me a question and the question you asked me was, do you like this?
Top Lobster
The ultimate combination.
David Lee Corbo
Do you like this? And so what I did was I hopped in the Comments? There's no comments on this fucking post.
Top Lobster
I saw. Yeah. Where? What happened?
David Lee Corbo
Well, they took down the post. What'd you do to get all the comments off the post?
Top Lobster
Oh, you blurried them, huh?
David Lee Corbo
They blurried me.
Top Lobster
They blurred.
David Lee Corbo
They blurried me. I keep getting blurried. So I said, it's incredible, a woman's ability to take a fascinating subject and make it unlistenable.
Top Lobster
She's like, but they're, like eating all the people.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, my God. And they're like, so the angels thought the women were super hot. Like, she says that right in the beginning. Super fucking hot. And so, like, they were fucking these women. I'm like, oh, God.
Top Lobster
Like, I know, but, David, we have to be careful.
David Lee Corbo
The virality. Be careful. Okay, go ahead.
Top Lobster
Good people are hearing about this now. Sure. Yeah, sure. So.
David Lee Corbo
And it doesn't mean. Take it down. It doesn't mean she shouldn't get views. She's going to get views. That bitch is going to do better than this show.
Top Lobster
Oh, yeah. 100%.
David Lee Corbo
100%. She's going to crush it.
Top Lobster
She's going to hate. I'm sensing hate coming from you. It's.
David Lee Corbo
So I was out recently. I had to go do some clerical stuff, and I was sitting in an office and I was listening to two women talk at the same time.
Top Lobster
Woman.
David Lee Corbo
No, it's more than one. And it was. They were like. And they were laughing. He's talking about the Netflix. And it was like my eyes were bleeding. There's something about when you get too many women in a space.
Top Lobster
Woman.
David Lee Corbo
And so that's. If you have a single. Yeah. Woman. But if you add another woman to that mix, things get unbearable. And some women have it down pat. They don't have the voice.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
But if you had more than one of those. So anyway, I comment this. It's out of pocket. Sure, yeah, whatever. But, like, sometimes you get annoying guests on a show. It's not a big deal. And John the blaptist says woman. Yes. And there's another woman. Turns out there was another woman on this. On this show. I didn't even notice.
Top Lobster
I've never been more confused in my life. How many? How many?
David Lee Corbo
There was two women on the show and the other woman, which, by the way, is like, seemingly into witchcraft on a show. No.
Top Lobster
Okay.
David Lee Corbo
But she's seemingly into witchcraft. If you go to her page, it's just like, she's just got like all these witchy, you know, the chicks, white women with witchy vibes.
Top Lobster
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
David Lee Corbo
And they do A show, Etsy store. It's called the. The Trinity of Truth.
Top Lobster
But there's only two of them.
David Lee Corbo
Well, no, there's. There's this chick, this. This woman. Not the. Not the hot mom's fit bod bit, whatever the hell we just read there. And then two other dudes, which is the white rabbit guy, who I think is in recovery, and then there's some other guy who I don't know, it doesn't matter. And she immediately comes out and she goes, hey, don't fucking say that. And I go, what did you say? I just said that it's incredible, this woman's ability to take something fascinating and make it unlistenable.
Top Lobster
Oh, yeah, yeah.
David Lee Corbo
Because it was just, you know, it's like I can't even absorb the content, what you're saying. I. It hurts. And she goes, you can't say that. And I go, yeah, yeah, I just did. And I'm here again. I'm still here. And we're still saying this.
Top Lobster
Hit you with. You can't say that.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah. She was just like, you. How dare you go to somebody else's page. And I go, she's annoying. I mean, I. I don't know what. What the big conundrum is. He got mad to the white rabbit guy. He got mad. He goes, what the fuck? Why would you ever come? And I go, he goes, you have annoying. I mean, you have women on your show all the time.
Top Lobster
Oh, if he said you have an annoying voice, I'm like, well, touche.
David Lee Corbo
I'm an expert in this category. It's funny because he goes, I even platformed women that you've had on your show, like, Heidi Love. And I'm like, dog, you weren't going to stop Heidi Love from doing her shit. You, like, it was weird.
Top Lobster
You try to claim Heidi Love was like, and they have a mountain full of Cummings. Yeah, you wouldn't believe it.
David Lee Corbo
With a story like that, you think you were ever gonna do anything to stop Heidi Love and her mountain full of come. She was gonna talk about that, and people are always gonna hear about that. So you can't claim ownership over, you know, Heidi's success. He kind of tried to do that.
Top Lobster
Oh, that's weird.
David Lee Corbo
And I go, hey, dog. Yeah, we have women on the show. I just do my best to pick the ones that aren't fucking annoying. And they just. Ah, they what?
Top Lobster
I realized we've had one annoying woman on the show.
David Lee Corbo
Well, Mason has spoke on the show a few times.
Top Lobster
I was gonna make a very bad joke. I'M not gonna say, you know, I'm gonna mute it.
David Lee Corbo
Honestly, that was kind of a badger. So, you know, it's just. It was interesting because what I found out was I go, oh, Instagram is not the place to do this. I mean, I'm still gonna do it.
Top Lobster
Oh, no, no. It's not well received on Instagram.
David Lee Corbo
No, no. You've been in a theological argument.
Top Lobster
Not really.
David Lee Corbo
Well, it's not. There's no theology for it. But you have been.
Top Lobster
What's the theology behind Mario's colon?
David Lee Corbo
Well, yeah, that's just that there is no theology behind Mario's colon. Super Mario's colonial. But it is interesting because the conversation that you've been having. All I did was say a chick is annoying. And this, this thread went on for 30 comments or so.
Top Lobster
It's also hard to keep track of Instagram's, like, kind of.
David Lee Corbo
It's stupid. The way that I mentioned before, I said, hey, is your husband not around? Like, put him on the. Why am I talking to you? Why are you letting women.
Top Lobster
Does she ever chime in? The girl herself? The woman herself?
David Lee Corbo
No, because she's smart. She's like, why am I gonna fuck up what I got going on here? I got my tits and spandex and I'm telling you about conspiracies on my page with 30,000K.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
Or 30K, I'm not worried about.
Top Lobster
She's crushing.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, she's doing. What the are we doing? I'm just calling her annoying. She's probably going, yeah, yeah, this was annoying. Yeah, it's very annoying. The whole thing was annoying. But what's interesting is I. I went through that girl's page, the one that I was arguing with.
Top Lobster
I think they're self aware. No,
David Lee Corbo
maybe.
Top Lobster
Do they know they're annoying? Hey, ladies. Atma. Do you know you're annoying?
David Lee Corbo
I mean, I don't know, man. Sometimes I think they do. You know, my wife is a fan of like, Summer House, which is like. I don't know what it is. It's like the real world. It's just reality television slop. And. And she'll put it on and I just hear like. And they're arguing. And I'm like, what the fuck is this? This was like, if you took one of those characters and we're like, now talk about the nephilim. She's like, oh, my God, they're fucking the human women. And I'm like, dude, this is so, you know, whatever. But I looked at the one chick that was arguing with me. For 30 some odd comments. No husband.
Top Lobster
No husband. Yeah, yeah.
David Lee Corbo
Not a surprise. Single motherhood.
Top Lobster
She a witch?
David Lee Corbo
Think she's a little. But I don't know if she's a witch. I think she just does a witch.
Top Lobster
You fight with like witchy.
David Lee Corbo
That's what I do. Yeah. It was the exact same thing. And you fight with the church? Church. Any church.
Top Lobster
I fight, yeah. Fucking name the church.
David Lee Corbo
Fucking. I fucking fought him.
Top Lobster
Step right up.
David Lee Corbo
It was interesting, man, because I never had an interaction like that on Instagram. And how you feel about it now
Top Lobster
you're going to do more of it.
David Lee Corbo
I like how shocking and disturbing it was to them. I really do like it. Really fucked with them because I got this message. He said, hold on. He goes. He hits us up and he goes, my co host on Trinity of Truth isn't as thick skinned as some of the vets yet. Go easy on her. She's still a baby in this game. I ignored that and called her a retard. She was like, what? You hate women.
Top Lobster
Is she thick? Like thick is thick skin. She's heavy.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, I don't know. She looks like maybe like a medium style bitch. You know what I mean? Like as far as weight goes, not a heavy chick lifter, but you know,
Top Lobster
he's complaining like that.
David Lee Corbo
That's very interesting. It was very interesting to see you've had a whole different type of argument.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
With. With orthodox. What was your issue with the Orthodox church?
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Liberty Mutual customizes your car and home insurance. And now we're customizing this ad for your morning commute to wake you up, which could help your driving. Science says that stimulating the brain increases alertness. So here's a pop quiz. How many months have 28 days? What gets wetter as it dries? What has keys but can't open? Locks? If you don't want to hear the answers, turn off this Liberty mutual ad now. 12 months. A towel piano. Enjoy being fully alert.
David Lee Corbo
It's all.
Top Lobster
I can't even remember. Oh, I know what set it off. You know what's. Yeah. What set off the, like all of this.
David Lee Corbo
Turn that one. I'm so overexposed. And that's why I. That's why the. They see that I look like a ghost. Nope, that didn't fix it. Put it back on me. Yeah, that's good. Okay, maybe that's what it's got that white light. Yeah. Turn it to the brown light. Yeah, there we go.
Top Lobster
Brown light.
David Lee Corbo
Okay, so. So.
Top Lobster
So what started like a lizard soaking in the brown light a couple days ago, I said, this is a waste of time. It was a meme of an intercession prayer. Square in the corner here was you, the Christian believer. And then.
David Lee Corbo
That's right. That's a stupid image. It's been going viral. See if I could find it.
Top Lobster
You can find. Yeah. And then there's, like, a direct line across the square and. And on the other side is God, Jesus and God.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Top Lobster
So you could pray like that and then it goes. Or you can pray like this and then the other lines.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, I got it. This is perfect. Here, put it up.
Top Lobster
Okay.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, that was fast.
Top Lobster
Let's just check this out, because it's kind of weird.
David Lee Corbo
The Catholic guy, I guess, going, intercession explained again. So this is interesting, because this intersection explained again. Yeah, the. I'm just gonna say, when doing anything, the most direct route there is, the most efficient.
Top Lobster
The manliest way to do something is to just do what you said.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, just a straight line. Straight line. Like, if I was going to the corner store and it became somehow the. Around the fucking corner store. That wouldn't make any sense. I go, no, you just walk straight down to the corner and you go, no, no, no. Go around the corner first.
Top Lobster
Yeah, you fucking did a skip and a jump to the corner. Score everything that's gay.
David Lee Corbo
And look, I have no problem with. With Mary, this is often construed as me being like, fuck Mother Mary. Not the case at all.
Top Lobster
Honestly. That's where I'm at.
David Lee Corbo
But it's not her. People are retarded.
Top Lobster
We were just reading the Sermon on the Mount, and Jesus is like, hey, man, let your yes be yes. Let your no be no. So when I look at this fucking dumb picture, I go see the yes, right? See the line right there in the middle?
David Lee Corbo
That's yes.
Top Lobster
And the rest of it is no. Or the rest of it is like, maybe. What is this shit?
David Lee Corbo
Like, we're just reading some scripture. I think it was a Matthew or Mark. And it was. Somebody came to Jesus and talked about his brother and his mother. And Jesus is basically like, who's my. Who is my mother and my brother? And then he gestures to, like, the disciples, and he goes, there you guys are meaning, like, everybody is equal in Christ. There is no, like, hierarchy of, you know, Christ's mother or Christ's brother. It's like, that's nothing against Mary.
Top Lobster
Like, where I'm at with these people, they're talking. If they were talking about the body of Christ, well, they don't consider us to be a part of it. And Then there's also scripture that says, hey man, if you're, if your hand is causing you to sin, cut it off. So I'm like, I'm looking at these guys and I was like, if you are part of the body of Christ, you're done. Not, not my body of Christ. Like, as far as I'm concerned, from today. Well, actually from like yesterday forward, I don't even consider these niggas arguments. We're done here.
David Lee Corbo
Well, they said you went crazy. He was like, you're not a Christian if you're not part of the Orthodox church.
Top Lobster
So it started with the saints. And I was just like, well, what's the precedent for this? And they're like, well, Revelation 8, 3 and 4. And I go, yeah, no, I'm familiar with the scripture. It looks like these guys are praying and then God is throwing down fire, the angels are giving the prayers, and he's throwing down the prayers as fire as a punishment for revelation. But I'm like, but, but I'm just asking, like, very kind too, because like some of these people were, are like, you know, friends in the space or whatever. They're just. What they are, is based people. A lot of them coming out of the Libertarian Party. So they're confused and lost. They found some sort of religion, they've clung to it.
David Lee Corbo
Then they kind of pseudo political structure to it, doesn't it?
Top Lobster
Yeah, it's, it's a great off ramp for people on the, on that spectrum of whatever of politics going into religion and they should go there. Unfortunately, you've ended up in the gayest iteration of it. Probably even gayer than the Catholic Church because of, I guess it's roots or its claim to baseness.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, well, this is really all that. It is really confusing too, is.
Top Lobster
So I was, I was just asking. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Why are we praying? The saints don't. They're like, oh, well, don't you ask people to pray for us? No one's answering my question. Yeah, why are you praying to these guys? In order for them to pray to that guy. Jesus died for you. So that way you can approach the throne boldly without sin. Like, like this is very obvious.
David Lee Corbo
The Bible talks about it over and over again like there's no mediator. I know Jesus Christ is the mediator.
Top Lobster
And then for that response, I've been met with, well, well, who do you think wrote the Bible and who do you think concocted?
David Lee Corbo
Right, so the Jewish fathers concocted and put it together, but didn't see fit to Put anything except for the scripture that you're actually referencing. So they didn't put.
Top Lobster
No, no, they wrote a bunch of other shit, but.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, but not in the Bible.
Top Lobster
But they didn't put it in the Bible, which they. They then formulated. But that's okay, I guess, if we're all following that logic. I'm still not praying to any of these saints. And it's. It's also very clear, like, within the Catholic Church and within your church, the Orthodox Church, this is how you sneak in weird. You just put weird paintings on the walls of people that we don't really know about. They're not mentioned in the Bible. They're just your icons. Idols, false gods.
David Lee Corbo
If you want to do that. If you want to do that. That's. That's one thing. If you want to, then turn around and be like, and you're not Christian. If you're not part of. Like, that's crazy.
Top Lobster
Yeah. Again, I've always looked at, like, we've had a lot of the people on, and a lot of people I do like, and I go, okay, that's interesting. Like, I'm familiar with your traditions and religion. That's interesting. Yeah, I'm going to go to this fucking clown church over here. It's a lot better than whatever you're doing, man.
David Lee Corbo
Well, this is what gets really confusing. Particularly sad is I was. I was showing this. This is. I forgot how I. How I found this, but this has been going viral.
Top Lobster
This was from that. That's the guy that we've had on the show that said that they want to throw all the. All the gay people.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, that's funny. Yeah. Faggots don't get redemption. So it's a $250 baptism fee, which
Top Lobster
I don't agree with.
David Lee Corbo
Right. And a lot of people explain like, oh, well, I think even Jay Dyer explained like, oh, this is. You know, you're, like, buying robes and doing. There's like, shit that goes into it. It's like, whatever.
Top Lobster
I don't know. There was a eunuch that approached Paul, right?
David Lee Corbo
He. He didn't even have a dick.
Top Lobster
He didn't even have a dick. And he's like, hey, there's some water here, though. And he's like, yeah, let's do it.
David Lee Corbo
Talk about, like, the opposite. Like, this is like, 200 and preparation with extra stuff. He's like, no, no. A puddle and no dick.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
Is how we're gonna do this. A puddle and no dick. But. And. And I did find another one from Australia. It was a Thousand dollars. Oh, so. So, but look, the thing that gets
Top Lobster
me is it's almost like a thousand au. That's different.
David Lee Corbo
It just said a thousand dollars, which
Top Lobster
is why I was make believe dollars.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, it could be 25 cents, actually. We have no idea.
Top Lobster
It could be cheaper than this.
David Lee Corbo
But the thing that, that got me is like, okay, this is almost a booby trap. I've shown you one church or two churches I've not condemned in my, in my tweet. I didn't condemn all of orthodoxy.
Top Lobster
My initial tweet about this again, I'm still, I'm having a gripe with the, the, in the church here, but I'm, I'm like, I'm not going to drag them. So I just go, oh, this is like the one thing that black people won't steal, huh? Yeah, it's water, glass and shit. And then, then I watch the rest of the day of them go, well, actually, Divine liturgy. And they fucking and just defend.
David Lee Corbo
Well, that's exactly. I've shown you. An instance of one church doing is pretty.
Top Lobster
It's a booby trap. They talk about the nephilim, like, oh my God.
David Lee Corbo
And, and instead of being like, oh yeah, I don't know what the. That church is doing, like, that's crazy actually. And I'm like, dude, that's not even your church. Like, you don't even know these fucking people.
Top Lobster
It's a classic trap. It's. It's like you have, you have committed yourself.
David Lee Corbo
It's defending all of the Republican Party or defending all of the Libertarian Party or defending all of the Democratic Party. It's the same shit. It's a party line argument. That's why I think what you said, where it's like, these people are a lot of libertarians and they kind of glommed on to orthodoxy when they realized that there's a spiritual nature to reality.
Top Lobster
Done a great job of getting them. Like, it's like, it's almost a genius political move to do a genius social move because you see the disaffection of young men from the political sphere and from the manosphere.
David Lee Corbo
It's like, what if we gave you political God?
Top Lobster
I got Jesus Christ over here.
David Lee Corbo
Jesus Christ plus.
Top Lobster
Well, I mean, you know, this is the. I. We only have Jesus Christ. You want to, you got to come here. And it's like everything is very structured and political and also kind of fucking boring. Yeah, I'll just be honest. This shit is boring, dog. Anybody in the chat. I don't, I really don't care. Anymore. Anyone in the chat Now. Here.
David Lee Corbo
Out. No.
Top Lobster
You'll probably leave yourself here in the future, dog.
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David Lee Corbo
Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.
Top Lobster
You're gonna look at me like. This is. I've never lied to you. I know. I'm Father of disinformation and all this stuff like that. I've never lied to you. Cold.
David Lee Corbo
No, man.
Top Lobster
Father.
David Lee Corbo
That's a touche.
Top Lobster
Yeah, that's number one. Let's do that. But when you go to this place, this shit is sterile. It's boring, it's gaudy, it's ridiculous. Half of it's in a different language, and I know you don't talk it. And then. Then these niggas have the nervous.
David Lee Corbo
That's. I don't know what's worth. Dude, are we gonna do the tongue when they do tongues? If they do tongues, they do it in the Show Me Bobbidi, Bapo voice.
Top Lobster
They kind of do.
David Lee Corbo
I bet you they do. Look, it is.
Top Lobster
We're gonna have to kill every single church.
David Lee Corbo
It's barely discernible from Catholicism. I. We were watching clips of the Orthodox Church, and I was like, catholicism, this is the problem.
Top Lobster
So, like, that was a Catholic meme.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Top Lobster
And I was like, oh, good Catholics. Fuck them. And I. I typed that out. I was like, yeah, this is a waste of time. And it is a waste of time.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Top Lobster
Again, even if. Even if what you're saying is correct, and the Revelation 8:3 method, and these guys, their. Their power hold. Their. Their prayers have more power than my prayers. And you want to go through them. It's just, like. It's just a fucking waste of time.
David Lee Corbo
It's a crazy thing. Their. Their prayers have more powers than my prayers.
Top Lobster
Like, I'm a Christian. Karen, I want to see the manager, please.
David Lee Corbo
How do you determine that, though? How do you determine that their prayers have. I mean.
Top Lobster
Well, because his power level is over 9,000.
David Lee Corbo
I don't know this. I don't know scripture enough to say that that's not the case. I'm asking, like, is there anybody out there that can show me in the Bible where it says that the prayers of the saints and the prayers of Mary have more power than your individual prayers. Because as far as I'm concerned, once again, the only mediator between you and the Father is Jesus.
Top Lobster
Because now we're putting these people on a, like, level of God.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Top Lobster
So. And this is the argument again. Well, the church fathers say this. The church was like, the church fathers were fucking retarded. Like, I don't know if you've read the rest of the Bible. And again. Oh, all right. There's like, 70 books, whatever. Read the parts of the Bible where Jesus is calling them stupid because immediately he gives them rules, and they just go ahead and do what they want. It's like right when he died. So when was the Orthodox church formed? In 33 A.D. i was like, that's when it got fucked up. And they go, you're a Mormon.
David Lee Corbo
I'm like, well, that's the thing is they go. By virtue of being old.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
It is therefore infallible.
Top Lobster
Wrong. The longest.
David Lee Corbo
If you go to.
Top Lobster
Congratulations.
David Lee Corbo
If you go to our church and you go, yo, they're speaking in tongues, and there's a clown on the stage that day. And I'd go, fucking, yeah, dude. That's kind of crazy, right? But if you go to anything about the Orthodox Church to these people and you go, this is weird. They go, no, there's a reason for that.
Top Lobster
Wearing a skirt.
David Lee Corbo
Why are you defending. It's just very gay.
Top Lobster
All right, well, candles, incenses.
David Lee Corbo
I mean, where's precedent for how to dress come from? I'd love to know.
Top Lobster
That's like, old Levitical priest wear. But then they just get blinged out with it and they start doing their. Yeah, whatever.
David Lee Corbo
You know what's really funny, though? I said, hell, yeah. That was sarcastic. When you see a picture of, like, one of these priests, and they go, he has so much aura. I'm like, no, dude, he's a man in a dress.
Top Lobster
This is fucking clown shit.
David Lee Corbo
He looks very Silly Willy. And again, silly Bo. Billy.
Top Lobster
I don't really care about these people any longer. This is fucking clown shit. Where are we at here?
David Lee Corbo
Oh, yeah, yeah. The fucking.
Top Lobster
I don't know.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, it's crazy.
Top Lobster
Not me. Not never.
David Lee Corbo
They look like. Especially the picture off to the right.
Top Lobster
Like, even the guys that are just wearing black. There's a guy that came in here,
David Lee Corbo
I think, from the church, kind of silly.
Top Lobster
He had, like, the old black thing, and he's just fucking talking and talking and talking and talking. And we're like, I have to go.
David Lee Corbo
That's what it is.
Top Lobster
Annoying.
David Lee Corbo
It's. It's like this place to intellectualize the spirit.
Top Lobster
Intellectual bloviation. Because you were wrong about politics. Bloviating. Bloving.
David Lee Corbo
Don't come in here and bloviate.
Top Lobster
I know. This is like. Here's the worst thing about it. I'll be honest. Here's the worst. The worst part about this is that these people actually have, like, some very good contributions. Sure, they do Christianity and to theology and to even some political thought and, like, current social movements, but you guys are so fucking intolerable that I'm gonna discard you completely. Yeah. That's how fucking awful you are. I was telling him about people that I know that just converted. Like, not just online. They're like, oh, this is just Twitter shit. It's like, no, no. I know people in real life who stood in that doorway, and I. I had. I've had to have the self control to go. Yeah, just wait, because I think they'll leave.
David Lee Corbo
Just let them.
Top Lobster
I know what they're gonna. Let them leave.
David Lee Corbo
They're gonna bloviate.
Top Lobster
They're gonna blow me. You're gonna blow V8 me.
David Lee Corbo
Come in here and blow V8.
Top Lobster
You found the real church, Just like you're divorced.
David Lee Corbo
That's it.
Top Lobster
You're divorced and you're a mess, dog. You found the real church, though. Okay, I think I'm done.
David Lee Corbo
It's fine.
Top Lobster
I might be done.
David Lee Corbo
Okay.
Top Lobster
I'll show him a picture of Mario's colon just so that we know.
David Lee Corbo
I can't find Mario's colon at the drop of a hat like that. But what we are gonna do is
Top Lobster
we're gonna keep the pores out.
David Lee Corbo
Are we gonna kick the.
Top Lobster
We can't.
David Lee Corbo
There. There's no. Okay. Yeah, if there was off of YouTube for a week.
Top Lobster
We'll be on YouTube soon, soon enough.
David Lee Corbo
We actually got banned because of the. What episode was it? The. David Wilcox.
Top Lobster
Yeah, David.
David Lee Corbo
So now. And all I want to say is, I love him, and I would never harass or bully him.
Top Lobster
I like, ask a question.
David Lee Corbo
No, we never would harass or bully him.
Top Lobster
Can you harass the dead?
David Lee Corbo
You could pray to him. Fuck you.
Top Lobster
Fuck the whole Orthodox church. David Wilcock, though. Shout out David Wilcock.
David Lee Corbo
I love David Wilcock, man.
Top Lobster
Okay, stop it, David.
David Lee Corbo
So we got to finish.
Top Lobster
You know what I'm saying? I would be like, hey, we need to be careful what we're saying here, because we can go right to hell for doing this. But apparently, yeah, we're going to hell anyway. Because the only way to heaven, the only way with only way to salvation is through the Orthodox church. So what the fuck are we doing?
David Lee Corbo
I don't know. We're not going to heaven, I guess.
Top Lobster
I'm not going to be boring. Sorry, guys.
David Lee Corbo
So we're gonna. We're gonna.
Top Lobster
Oh, we got stories.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, we're gonna. I think we got some stories here. So we got one here from George B. And it says, let's get spooky. Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't hear it.
Top Lobster
I'm playing some divine liturgy music. Go ahead.
David Lee Corbo
Divine literature. So this one is experience with a witch. George. George B. Had an experience with a witch. So he says. By the way, I think we're very loud for them out there. I was just screaming a microphone. They were using a whole ass microphone
Top Lobster
and shit from South Africa. Like. Like, who cares?
David Lee Corbo
Years ago, my friend was dating a girl and through that became friends with his girlfriend's group, specifically her cousin. His girlfriend was a fit mom. Hot fit mom. Honestly.
Top Lobster
Quick Scott nails it in just Christianity at 80 or below IQ levels.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, levels.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
That's actually interesting.
Top Lobster
Father Ignatius.
David Lee Corbo
This is literally to the Orthodox church, right? Like, hey, hey. Return to God. Stop.
Top Lobster
Hey, stop doing all that gay.
David Lee Corbo
Stop being super smart about all your stuff.
Top Lobster
Take on.
David Lee Corbo
Stop wearing. Stop dressing like that. Hey, stop with the fucking baptism. If Jay Dyer dresses like that, I want to see a picture of that.
Top Lobster
Oh, I bet you the nigga has some pictures dressed like that. But it's funny.
David Lee Corbo
He has been known to blow V8. So sometimes we would hang out. Black hoes. That's what they don't like. They don't like. The Orthodox church does not like black hoes and black Kangs.
Top Lobster
That's all the chocolate persuasion.
David Lee Corbo
And see, that song, by the way, is remarkable.
Top Lobster
Remarkable.
David Lee Corbo
It's a masterpiece. And I think that if. If the Orthodox Church can't see that, you know, maybe. Maybe Jay Dyer needs to reassess, you know, who has found value in him because it's not the Orthodox.
Top Lobster
Maybe. Maybe the second church or the third.
David Lee Corbo
That's right. Sometimes when we hanged out.
Top Lobster
Are we the last church? George, you retarded?
David Lee Corbo
I suppose George is retarded.
Top Lobster
Oh, yeah, he's just.
David Lee Corbo
He's just like misspelling. Sometimes when we hanged out, we would talk of Texas Mexican cryptids and evil spirits. Tortas, chupacabras, tortas la lechu sa, etc. And his cousin would always talk about how she's a witch descended from a line of witches and I always just shrugged it off because she's a crazy chick. Okay? One night we was all hanging out on the coast around a bonfire and I just so happened to be sitting next to the witch and her boyfriend. I started to get uneasy. Oh, I noticed she started getting uneasy and overheard her telling her boyfriend. I'm telling you, it's watching us right now. Did I read this fucking shit? Fucking. This show is literally. Just hold on a second. What are we, January fucking? Oh my God, I already read that one. We're gonna go to Lauren.
Top Lobster
Well, what happened in this one? I don't even remember.
David Lee Corbo
I don't fucking care. I already read it.
Top Lobster
Sorry, George B. Holy shit. I wish we had a producer that would like.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, only somebody would fucking get this organized for us. This show is trash.
Top Lobster
All right, well maybe you should read it like this, Lauren. Wonder if people stick around. Years ago, my friend was dating a girl and through that became friends.
David Lee Corbo
Why do they talk like that?
Top Lobster
Because they're gay.
David Lee Corbo
What does that do it?
Top Lobster
I think it's supposed to like put you in like a transition state, sort
David Lee Corbo
of like supposed to make you transsexual.
Top Lobster
It's like a suggestible sort of state of mind.
David Lee Corbo
So another implication of sort of hypnosis techniques.
Top Lobster
I like that. Honestly. Yeah, I would say so. They, I mean, of course they give me some fucking word I can't pronounce to describe what they're doing, but that's pretty much what it is.
David Lee Corbo
So, Lauren, this was titled Lauren, a horse chronicle. And then it says before you go, all horse eyes.
Top Lobster
Wait, we read this?
David Lee Corbo
No, no, this is long. I know this. I haven't read this. Somehow I discovered this podcast on episode two and felt immediate kinship. Oh, hey, thank you, Lauren. Foul mouth, inappropriate conspiratorial Jesus seeking former spice tards. Yes, my people.
Top Lobster
You done spice?
David Lee Corbo
I have smoked spice. Yes.
Top Lobster
I have never smoked spice.
David Lee Corbo
My wife smoked spice. My wife and then turned into a robot for two hour, actually maybe like a three hour car drive. So she smoked spice and she was like, alright, ready to go for a drive. And I was like, hell yeah, baby.
Top Lobster
And then she drove.
David Lee Corbo
That's exactly, that's what she said. She told me afterwards. She was like, I felt like a robot for that entire drive and I said, that's good to know. Post arriving, you know. So I finally decided to sit down and start writing my chronicle submission that day. I slipped a disc. Fuck yeah. She's got to be old as shit. Ha. Lauren, you old bitch. By the way, somebody was like in our comments and they're like, I really love this show. I wish you would stop cursing.
Top Lobster
Yeah, me too.
David Lee Corbo
No, yeah.
Top Lobster
He's like, yeah, me too. A little bit.
David Lee Corbo
I've tried, man. And it's just. Oh, Lauren is 41. You old. Oh, hey, that's not that old. That's only.
Top Lobster
That's almost my age. Hi, Lauren. Shout out. I got knee pain too.
David Lee Corbo
Well, she has a whole slipped disc. The next day, I sat painfully at the computer again. Then a happy customer was possessed to post a slanderous review of my dog rescue out of nowhere. What the fuck? I can disprove the lies, but it had me juggling damage control and excruciating pain. Then technology demons crashed my battery and Internet services several times throughout. Damn, she really trying to write a story. But she's old as. See?
Top Lobster
How do I open this PDF?
David Lee Corbo
It's funny because people, you know, you're listening to this, you don't realize, like, I'm looking at her name in the chat. It just makes the, the, the cheeky little insults that would say more fun. It's not her.
Top Lobster
It's. They also.
David Lee Corbo
No, it's her because I didn't say her last name. Yeah, yeah.
Top Lobster
Oh, that's right.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah. So y' all pray for me. They clearly don't like my story, but they can eat a bag of dicks. So here it goes.
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David Lee Corbo
Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. My aunt was very bright and determined. She single handedly raised two kids while building a large scale family dog breeding business with a nationwide rep for being awesome. What kind of dogs? Dogs.
Top Lobster
She black? You reading? You're reading this like she's black. I know because it's probably pit bulls.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, shit.
Top Lobster
Like the, the big ones with the short legs.
David Lee Corbo
I'm just saying, if it's like French bulldogs, like, my mom goes to like the best breeders in the world and she can't pick up the phone and call me, but she can buy the best breeders in the world's French bulldogs.
Top Lobster
Oh, beagles.
David Lee Corbo
That's the loudest.
Top Lobster
Selling them the fauci you know how
David Lee Corbo
fucking loud it must be there? Beagles suck ass. Beagles and bloodhounds. The barking is so. That's real stupid. Owley.
Top Lobster
Damn.
David Lee Corbo
That's right, I said it. After 30 years of being a total boss, she suddenly needed to bail out so urgently she intended to dump her life's work into kill shelters and onto the streets. Damn, bro, she's really out. Oh, shit. This didn't make sense. Looking back, I think she caught a bad case of the demons. All right. Astute observation. When family needs your help, we are here for it. Dogs are family. So I went to help. All right. You white? Definitely white.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
You're breeding beagles and dogs are family. You white?
Top Lobster
What kind of family you, bro? How are you breeding these? No, don't do that.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, don't.
Top Lobster
I'm not gonna let you.
David Lee Corbo
Don't let them sleep in the bed with you. Do you. Do you let your dog sleep in the bed with you? No. It's fucking annoying.
Top Lobster
No, like open mouth kiss.
David Lee Corbo
I know how many people in the chat though are doing that. Letting their stinky ass dogs in the fucking bed with them. You nasty ass.
Top Lobster
I've been considering not even let him in the house.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, it's probably the best. All right, good. Last vet visit, Wishbone is a Jack Russell Terrier. Qui Gon, you stupid. So what happened? Now dogs are family too. So I kiss them on the mouth. And when I saw the situation, I irrationally volunteered to nuke my whole life. I wound up with a metric ass ton of beagles to feed and find. Homes for how many people? A whole lot of a lot of beagles.
Top Lobster
20 beagles.
David Lee Corbo
Metric ass ton is a lot. My uncle was estranged for most of our lives. He was some kind of weird missionary. Put some stank on that word to understand how he felt about it. Okay, he's fucking a weird dude. Quite. God. He's like, wait, I'm a stupid bitch. Yeah, man. Fucking was. Was from Frasier, right? What?
Top Lobster
Wishbone?
David Lee Corbo
No, Wishbone was a series. Oh. In which a Jack Russell Terrier. Look that shit up real quick, Nancy. Look it up.
Top Lobster
Nancy.
David Lee Corbo
What kind of dog was Wishbone?
Top Lobster
Wishbone tv.
David Lee Corbo
I don't think I owe Qui Gon an apology.
Top Lobster
I think you're right.
David Lee Corbo
It's fucking. Is a beagle. I mean, shit. A Jack Russell Terrier. Yep. There you go. Jack Russell Terrier. That doesn't actually help. That's just a picture of a dog. But it wasn't a beagle, that's for sure. Okay, so my family. The family Concluded he was the weird missionary uncle who heard voices, had visions, followed his weird whims and returned home with impossible stories. They thought he was unstable and needed to get the out. When he arrived out of the blue in my driveway to help us 20 years later, skepticism was high. He was strangely compelled to travel from the northeast to the deep south just to help his ex wife's dogs. Ex niece in law. Yeah, that's. That's sketchy as hell. Dog don't agree with.
Top Lobster
With.
David Lee Corbo
Ello Qui? Gon
Top Lobster
got dog problems. She said, yeah, let's, let's keep going. I'm interested. I'm fully into the story now.
David Lee Corbo
But this all made perfect sense to him. He saw my horses grazing in the field as he pulled up the exact colors he'd seen in a vision 25 years ago. That story has been independently verified since then.
Top Lobster
Okay, interesting.
David Lee Corbo
All right, so. So he was called by visions to help with the beagles. He didn't really know me, but I happen to have exactly the horses skills and equipment that was called for. I didn't believe. Wait. But I happen to have that. Okay, I didn't believe any of that. Weird. I was a completely rational person. You know, an atheist. No, come on, Lauren. I have never experienced a single unexplainable thing in my 33 years. Yep, 33 is when everything changed. Illuminati confirmed. He didn't explain himself. He just stayed around and helped us build. We worked all day and spent hours each night hand rolling organic cigarettes, taking shots of vodka for stress and sore muscles, drunk, talking about politics and religion. I taught him how to handle and ride horses. Fun stuff. One day he had this strange air about him. He was so quiet and detached all day. Then he blurted out, we have to go on a road trip. Washington D.C. two days.
Top Lobster
It was January 6th.
David Lee Corbo
Oh my God. Imagine we showed up and they were storming the Capitol. She goes, no, we don't have a truck to pull the gooseneck and it needs tires. We're all broke as a joke. And these horses haven't been to town, much less a huge city. No paperwork for interstate travel. Not to mention this yard is full of dogs I need to care for and restore to good health.
Top Lobster
Disaster.
David Lee Corbo
This guy's like, I'm fucking fed up with. I don't want it. Let's go to Washington. I'm on a mission here too, buddy. That's impossible. It was not. He found a way to get the trailer tires that day. Someone else had a rusted out old dually junk sitting in their yard. Within 30 minutes, we were driving it home. And a friend with perfect animal experience had a crisis which we could solve the next day in exchange for watching my dogs. Damn. The next day looks like you go into Washington. Going to Washington. That's crazy as hell. Even the vet was supportive of mission work. So all the interstate travel paperwork got done in record times. That's nuts, dude. No. So the clampets went to Washington. What the fuck are the Clampets?
Top Lobster
I don't know. This is like a Southern term.
David Lee Corbo
Could be. Now what? It got weird and quiet again. Or he got weird and quiet again. After a while he said, we just keep going. We have to get near the White House.
Top Lobster
You got a trailer full of horses and you go into the White House.
David Lee Corbo
This is wild. It does. Is that a Beverly Hillbillies reference?
Top Lobster
I think so.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Top Lobster
The clamp is.
David Lee Corbo
Right. Okay. Yeah, thank you. No, I remember. I just haven't watched the Beverly Hillbillies since I was like a child. Used to come on Nick at night.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
You know, it would be, you know, black and white, so. I think they also had an in color movie.
Top Lobster
They did.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Top Lobster
But I mean, these movie references just wash over me.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, they do. But I did like that show. I like the Beverly Hillbillies.
Top Lobster
It was fine.
David Lee Corbo
Or I don't remember how the song was. That's the only brief moment of that song. Nobody's gonna understand that. All right, so. Right. I don't know where you think we're gonna park a semi truck sized monstrosity, but this is your rodeo, buddy. Parking stays jam packed here. I'm getting nervous just driving aimlessly. And the streets are getting too busy and too tight. And he's just sitting there quietly. Then he says, I think we should take a right. And there it was. A couple of blocks to a dead end with an open grassy area surrounded by shady trees. Cars are parked bumper to bumper everywhere. Except these three consecutive car spaces for the rig.
Top Lobster
What the. Man.
David Lee Corbo
And it's so peaceful. It's like we weren't even in town. The horses were happy and unafraid. They marched through chaos like they knew where they. What? Wait, wait, you just got on the horses?
Top Lobster
They took them off the. They took them off the. Their little.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, you put them in the buggy. The enclosed. Yeah, they just took them out.
Top Lobster
Well, you got to take them out. You can't just leave them in there. Gotta walk them a little.
David Lee Corbo
Take horses.
Top Lobster
Yeah, dog.
David Lee Corbo
They marched through chaos like they knew where they were going. Down busy sidewalks, past all the wailing Crazies. They calmly navigated through a million man march like they grew up in this shit show of a city. This is crazy.
Top Lobster
This is nuts.
David Lee Corbo
That is crazy.
Top Lobster
This guy's leading you.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, man. Yeah.
Top Lobster
Yeah. So look, there you go. Put on saddles, bridles, and mount up.
David Lee Corbo
And they just go owly. God damn.
Top Lobster
Who's gonna stop you, really?
David Lee Corbo
Yeah. You got horses. You assume that they're on some very official horse business and it's best to just not, you know, point up and
Top Lobster
ask what they're doing.
David Lee Corbo
It's like, nah, I've never seen horses in a city and imagined that they were out of place.
Top Lobster
I'm like, you got a permit for that horse?
David Lee Corbo
Nope.
Top Lobster
And be like, yo, I'm just getting out the way.
David Lee Corbo
That horse has a job and probably knows what it's doing in this city better than me. Like, I would never see a horse in the city. And imagine like, what is that doing here? Like, clearly this is a fucking horse. Like a working horse must do a show. So you probably will get left alone.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
Except for the crazy people that are screaming shit. Because it's the city. We rode right up to the steps of important sites, monuments, and even the White House. My uncle would blow his shofar wild and pray over each of them. Then we'd keep moving. That's fucking. This is wild, dude. I can't see the point of any
Top Lobster
of this if, and most, most people haven't heard the sound of a shofar.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, I mean, when you hear it,
Top Lobster
you, you go, what?
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, a little distressing, right? What the is going on? What is that, man? Meanwhile, it's a dude on horseback.
Top Lobster
I feel like my walls is trembling
David Lee Corbo
with a ram's horn. I can't see the point of any of this. He didn't try to explain. Fuck, that's gangster. He's just like, stop right here. That's fucking nuts, dude.
Top Lobster
Still, his four feet long.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, his is four feet long. A four feet long chauffeur. That's crazy. Still, it was fun. An all access tour of the Capitol. D.C. security was ugly. At every stop, guards and police would glare and swarm us.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
Zooming towards us with three people sirens. What the fuck?
Top Lobster
On horseback with the shofar.
David Lee Corbo
That's crazy. Yeah, you probably. If you just said we're Jewish, they'd
Top Lobster
be like, as you were, just let them go.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, you were zooming towards us with lights and sirens on, blocking us with their cars. Teams in ballistic gear would come at us menacingly, fanning out and surrounding us. But Then they'd get a beep or a call they had to take. Sometimes their demeanor would just change for no reason. They'd look somewhere else and wander off over and over. We were always allowed to keep going until uncle was satisfied he was done and we went home.
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David Lee Corbo
Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Several months later, my horses started coming up to stand anxiously at the fence, staring off to the northeast. Very unusual behavior that went on for seven days. Or, I'm sorry, several days. Then uncle called. He was already on the way and he would be here tonight. This time we were the only fools on the road heading in to the Capitol. It was a 10 lane parking lot of cars evacuating from the city in opposite directions. A massive hurricane was barreling directly at D.C. we got calls from concerned family members begging us to turn around. He got really quiet.
Top Lobster
This is a real story. Blacktown, honey.
David Lee Corbo
This is wild. This is wild. He got really quiet. Then he said, nope, the weather's gonna be fine. And it was sunshine and a light sprinkle. Clear the rest of the weekend. So everybody, 10 lanes of traffic are leaving because of a hurricane and it ends up being. And they're going in and it ends up being sunshine and a light sprinkle and then clear weather for the rest of the weekend. The third time the horses began waiting at the fence, I was resistantly catching on. He had taken one of my horses back to do some missions in Kentucky. So he could have skipped the extra 2, 000 miles and gone straight to D.C. himself. But he admitted he didn't even know why he was going this time. But my black horse had to go. That part was very specific. Her black horse. This is Lauren's black horse. Mm. He'd packed everything we needed and he had miraculously acquired a bus sized RV and a trailer. He had custom made blankets for all of my horses of the apocalypse.
Top Lobster
Oh my God.
David Lee Corbo
As we drove back north, I sorted and prepped our tack. Somehow all those blankets were missing except for the one for my horse. It's black with huge gold scales and the word justice on both sides. Intense. Dude.
Top Lobster
Yeah, man.
David Lee Corbo
About 5am we entered the District of Columbia and breaking news alert came on local radio. Chief Justice.
Top Lobster
Oh, hey, hey, hey. Look who's here.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, Nancy.
Top Lobster
Nancy's here.
David Lee Corbo
Nancy. I've been here.
Top Lobster
Whatever.
David Lee Corbo
You lying ass.
Top Lobster
Nancy. Keep reading. Nancy. These stories are unorganized. Nancy.
David Lee Corbo
We read a story. Nobody organizes the stories.
Top Lobster
We read two stories. Okay already. And we had already read those. And then we tore down an entire establishment of a church.
David Lee Corbo
Can you believe and you haven't been here that she recently wrote a lengthy application for more cat food?
Top Lobster
We talked about some lady that showed her tits and was talking about the nephilim.
David Lee Corbo
You didn't even get to hear. That was a great.
Top Lobster
It wasn't even her. Nancy. Use boiling water to put your feet in. Or something like that.
David Lee Corbo
Something like that.
Top Lobster
Nancy.
David Lee Corbo
I apologize.
Top Lobster
All right. Let's keep reading.
David Lee Corbo
That's refreshing. So we entered at 5am the district of Columbia. And breaking news alert came on the radio. Chief Justice Ruth Bader. Genitalia. Whatever her name was.
Top Lobster
Ginsburg.
David Lee Corbo
She said, rbg has just passed away. There will be a battle for her spot in the Supreme Court and a memorial vigil at the courthouse today. Our parking spot was open again, but a car length larger, of course, because now they've got a fucking rv. And the thing. It was crowded and tense with mourners and activists milling around the Supreme Court building. We circled it several times, blowing the chauffeur and praying on all four sides. Then we headed back to the trailer. Pretty uneventful. He'd said his mission was complete, whatever that means. So he locked everything up and went to sleep. Like in the rv. Rv. Okay. Yeah. Because you sleep in it. That's cool. But we had made something very angry. I wasn't tired, so I lie. I laid around for a while. I felt a cold little draft. So I got up to close the windows. They were closed and locked and the AC was off. I checked the doors in the ceiling vents. All locked. The draft was becoming a wind and started whipping around in all directions. It was getting loud and a low buzzing frequency started up in my ears. I felt and tasted that metallic pinch of adrenaline at the back of my tongue. My central nervous system was responding like there was a water moccasin in the grass. I like it. She's Southern, so she's got. That applies only to Southern people. Respect a normal occurrence in my neck of the woods. But I am a straight up assassin with a shovel. That's how you gotta decapitate Them. Blah, blah, blah. Our friendly oak snakes don't trigger this at all. But your body just knows a bad snake is there before you spot it with your eyes. Interesting. Dogs and horses get it too. I think God put them here to help us. They instinctively recognize malice and evil that's unusually dangerous. They will tell you one is out there in no uncertain terms. And they will take one for the team if they have to. Honorable beasts. Dude, are you. Are you a like a cow woman? Like a. Not a fat, but like.
Top Lobster
Oh like.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, yeah. It's like a country girl. She's ranching. Yeah, hourly. You ranching?
Top Lobster
She's a horse girl.
David Lee Corbo
Oh no, that's different. That's. They find them.
Top Lobster
That's a little different.
David Lee Corbo
That's a little bit different. Don't get your hymen broken. So my fight or flight is now engaged. Vision narrows, blood vessels dilate and every muscle is primed to. To do what? Smack the air with the shovel. The horses were violently pawing, banging their hooves on the walls of the trailer, stomping and rocking it side to side and squealing out to me. I opened a window and leaned out. No wind outside. Nothing moving around the trailer. But it kept increasing and blowing wildly in every direction inside.
Top Lobster
That's interesting. Like that phenomenon of when there's a cryptid around. It's like everything in that atmosphere goes dead. All of. Yeah, the bugs, all the birds. Nothing is going on. You're in like your own little thinny area.
David Lee Corbo
Yes. She's in her own environment right now where there's only wind happening inside the. That's interesting.
Top Lobster
That's nuts. And was her uncle in the car with her?
David Lee Corbo
He was. He was steeping. He was steeping. Oh, was he teeping?
Top Lobster
He was sleeping.
David Lee Corbo
I think he was sleeping. Holding my hair out of my eyes. Okay, here we go. I yelled at my uncle over all the noise. Nothing. I grabbed his ankle one handed like she hulk and yanked him to the edge of his mattress. He was out like unnaturally unconscious. So as one does, I pulled my blanket over my head and hid in bed like a five year old hides from the boogeyman.
Top Lobster
Smart. That's Top Lops's dog, man.
David Lee Corbo
I'm asking her question. She goes read bitch. Okay. This is the first time I ever prayed. Hey God dude, if you're real, the is going on right now. Seriously, please, please make it stop. Oh, right. Amen. And then it did stop instantly. And the horses calmed down too. I felt at peace and just went to sleep. That's interesting. And Just went to sleep. That do be happening after all that shit. Being so chill is truly beyond understanding. Very perceptive, Lauren. Driving home in the morning, I explained what happened. My uncle calmly nodded and said I did good and that he knew we were making something angry. Gee, thanks for the heads up. Then he informed me that there were seriously dark principalities ruling that city. So it's always dangerous to go there.
Top Lobster
What do you think about today's screen? Today's thumbnail?
David Lee Corbo
Oh, it's gonna make all the Catholics and orthodox is upset.
Top Lobster
I mean, it looks good though.
David Lee Corbo
I like it.
Top Lobster
We look. We look good.
David Lee Corbo
Maybe it is.
Top Lobster
Maybe we should convert.
David Lee Corbo
Maybe. Am I wearing eyeliner or eyeshadow?
Top Lobster
I like it. Your face, your. Your facial feature is. Is like. Oh my God.
David Lee Corbo
Oh my God. They're like. These women are so hot.
Top Lobster
They're like burning the women.
David Lee Corbo
I can't believe you didn't hear that part, Nance. It was so annoying.
Top Lobster
It was so bad. Whatever. You like it though. I like.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, by the way, we should have Lainey make a clip of that so we can post a clip of that and then tag them in it. Is that crazy? Is that crazy?
Top Lobster
It's a little crazy.
David Lee Corbo
Okay. So he then informed me that there were seriously dark principalities ruling in that city. So it's always.
Top Lobster
Yeah, no shit.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah. So it's always dangerous to go there if you're not being called there. But if you are, you will be protected. Well, that all lines up now. So I guess that the veil was lifted for me. That conversational damn burst.
Top Lobster
So she's. You're still an atheist at this point. You're going. I mean, how could you be? You went on three trips with this
David Lee Corbo
dude to blow the shofar and you're just a. Well, that's an interesting thing. Yeah.
Top Lobster
He's like, I don't really believe any of this.
David Lee Corbo
Just going with my uncle and going with the flow. Nice thing. He blows the horn. Yeah.
Top Lobster
We march on the Capitol.
David Lee Corbo
No big deal.
Top Lobster
Like that.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, there's interesting. I see something about J6 down there. Okay, sorry.
Top Lobster
Fun vacation, she said. I like her yalls blankets match.
David Lee Corbo
Unbelievable. Okay, so. So she says, I guess the veil was lifted for me. The conversational damn burst. I got hours of advice. Crazy stories and supernatural events from his life all the way home. Truly there is no unseeing it. It. I started experiencing and seeing things I'd never seen in my life up to that point. I started driving my 80 year old neighbor to her very old timey country church. After a while I joined and got baptized.
Top Lobster
Baptized. How much did it cost?
David Lee Corbo
At least 250, minimum.
Top Lobster
I'm need about 250.
David Lee Corbo
I need about 250. These old country folks just nod and smile gently at all my weird shit. Oh, yes. I saw something like that when I was a youngster working in the tobacco field. Or that happened to Uncle Grandpa Jimmy one time. Uncle Grandpa Jimmy?
Top Lobster
What does that mean? I mean, in the country, that could mean a lot of shit.
David Lee Corbo
They're in the South.
Top Lobster
You know what? That. For some reason, Uncle Grandpa Jimmy sounds nice. No, it just makes me want a country fried steak.
David Lee Corbo
Dude, I love a country fried. Right? Hell yeah. Right? Country fried steak crushes with the. With the sausage gravy on it.
Top Lobster
Shit, I might end the show right now. We'll see. We'll see you guys in a couple.
David Lee Corbo
Honestly, bro, the sausage gravy is something I didn't really know about till I came down to Florida.
Top Lobster
Oh, yeah? You didn't know about that?
David Lee Corbo
I mean, I might have had it, but, like, I've had it enough times to realize, like, I fucking love Sprinkle.
Top Lobster
Sprinkle.
David Lee Corbo
I bought a can of that shit the other day and I was like, it's not the same, but I'll eat it. Still close enough, bro. Holy shit.
Top Lobster
I'm doing that tonight. All right, let's keep reading.
David Lee Corbo
I've seen miraculous healings, like fresh stitches that disappear. Damn parts that the doctor just took off healed back like nothing ever happened. Sometimes you can feel heat in the palms of your hands. Maybe it's something like God's energy moving through you during corporate prayer. I can't do that. I can't do corporate prayer. Hanging out with really old people can be pretty wild. Now they know there's a battle ongoing. Once you're in the fight, you're thankful for validation and some experience. Backup.
Top Lobster
All right. Hell yeah.
David Lee Corbo
This goes on to say, not required reading. And then it's 17 more paragraphs.
Top Lobster
So let's read.
David Lee Corbo
I mean, you want to pick up on this part?
Top Lobster
Yes, you've done.
David Lee Corbo
This is.
Top Lobster
This is great.
David Lee Corbo
This is a great story. I'll actually allow her to continue.
Top Lobster
I wonder if she'll be at Bohemian Grove.
David Lee Corbo
Are you gonna come to Bohemian Grove? Owly owling you.
Top Lobster
And bring your horses.
David Lee Corbo
Bring your horses.
Top Lobster
Bring your shofar.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, bring your shofar.
Top Lobster
Walking around the building, fucking blowing a shofar.
David Lee Corbo
I'll allow it.
Top Lobster
As a matter of fact, that's the. That's pretty much security.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah. Yeah. That is the security. Yeah. Here. It's from not Required reading? Oh, yeah.
Top Lobster
Just a few shorter ones about my freaking life. Oh, she's coming. Yeah, she's gonna come.
David Lee Corbo
She's gonna come.
Top Lobster
Well, stop it.
David Lee Corbo
That was inappropriate.
Top Lobster
This is a Christian show. Neighborhood orbs, 1, 2, J. Six principalities and three dogs, demon winds, A Resurrection and the Face of Evil.
David Lee Corbo
God damn. Yeah. Not required reading.
Top Lobster
That's what we're doing here. Have you paid attention?
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, I mean, if you send it, they want to know if you're married. No, no, no. That's. That's Sancho asking. I imagine it's Sancho. It usually is. Asking how he to marry the woman in the chat. Woman? The woman is one. Well, there's more than. It's more than one.
Top Lobster
Orbs and Anomalies in the chat. I was doing dishes around 11am and saw a super unnaturally white butterfly circling and fluttering up high.
David Lee Corbo
That nice?
Top Lobster
Yeah, it's pretty cool. Was it Uncle Freddy?
David Lee Corbo
Yeah. The insects aren't your dead relative.
Top Lobster
I had to take that one down. Almost posted that on YouTube. I was like, no, not gonna get into that fight.
David Lee Corbo
No, he did, but it's not much of a fight.
Top Lobster
You pray to him to pray for you. Pray for you, but I pray to
David Lee Corbo
him to pray for you, but he's
Top Lobster
got these little butterfly hands, so I don't know.
David Lee Corbo
He's a butterfly now.
Top Lobster
I don't know how people watch this and be like, you guys are going directly to hell. Don't pass go. Don't collect now, everybody.
David Lee Corbo
I don't think you can. Do you think you can lose your salvation?
Top Lobster
Are you part of the Orthodox Church?
David Lee Corbo
Did they think that?
Top Lobster
Well, I mean, I assume if you left.
David Lee Corbo
I just think, like, you can't lose your salvation.
Top Lobster
I just think I have, like, a shit. Every time I make a joke, I get a shittier apartment in God's house.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, yeah, probably that.
Top Lobster
Yeah. He's like, one more room.
David Lee Corbo
We live in sardine cans in God's house.
Top Lobster
Yeah, we live in. We were talking about it yesterday, about the. There's pillars in New Jerusalem. Pillars. Just pillars in there. It's like pillars in New Jerusalem. And they have the names of the apostles on them.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Top Lobster
And they're like, there's 12 of them. And he was like, well, I wonder which is a 12th. Maybe Paul. And I said, maybe Judas, because Judas is important. Like, he kind of did the thing to make all the shit happen.
David Lee Corbo
He did.
Top Lobster
Yeah. That's probably where we go on Judas Street. They'd be like, yo, the ghetto. You buy. You buy that?
David Lee Corbo
We're to live on Judas.
Top Lobster
Judas Street.
David Lee Corbo
That's not good.
Top Lobster
It's gonna be wonderful.
David Lee Corbo
How only says something not as nice. Thousand dollar horse steaks. Wait, wait, who's eating horse sticks? Is that a thing?
Top Lobster
Yeah, people be eating horse.
David Lee Corbo
I mean, I guess, yeah, but like horse steaks. I wonder.
Top Lobster
Let me see a little horse head.
David Lee Corbo
Let's see real quick. Horse.
Top Lobster
No, hold on, hold on. I'll pull it up for you. We got a. We do have video of horse head.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, interesting. Japan. It's. It's a really big thing.
Liberty Mutual Ad
Liberty Mutual customizes your car and home insurance. And now we're customizing this ad for your morning commute to wake you up, which could help your driving. Science says that stimulating the brain increases alertness. So here's a pop quiz. How many months have 28 days? What gets wetter as it dries? What has keys but can't open locks? If you don't want to hear the answers, turn off this Liberty mutual ad now. 12 months. A towel piano. Enjoy being fully alert.
Top Lobster
Go ahead and van for me because I'm going to pull this up.
David Lee Corbo
Well, no, I mean, I'm just. People really don't eat horse, huh?
Top Lobster
No, no, no. They be eating horses.
David Lee Corbo
All right. Okay. She's replying to a request. Yeah, if I had a request for Bohemian Grove, as many of you as possible that can stop at any local restaurant and get us country fried steak with sausage gravy on it and bring it in a Styrofoam container. We might with some luck, end up going home with like 60 things of 60 pounds of countryfied steak.
Top Lobster
Okay, fuck it.
David Lee Corbo
I'll be obese, bro.
Top Lobster
Here we go.
David Lee Corbo
Because that sausage gravy is just. That's just carbs.
Top Lobster
I'm gonna pull this up.
David Lee Corbo
What the is this?
Top Lobster
You never seen this?
David Lee Corbo
Wait a second. It's coming through the tv. It's coming through.
Top Lobster
Oh, hold on, hold on.
David Lee Corbo
It's just. It's just. He just filmed the sound of the library with.
Top Lobster
Have you ever seen a eat a horse head? All right, I'm trying to go try it again.
David Lee Corbo
Here we go. Oh, my God. He made sure that the horse head. Make sure that the horse dead. I brush horse teeth. Why the is you brushing on the horse? How the you gonna clean off a horse head? I don't give a call your mom put it in the water tonight. Yeah, put the water tonight. Add a little bit of doodle and some beans on it. Put some hot sauce with the cane on it. Y', all, don't forget to Put the cane on it. Put three bags cocaine on it. Put the top off. Mortal Kombat on it.
Top Lobster
Yeah, dog. Delicious.
David Lee Corbo
No. Yeah, you just eat a little. Little horse.
Top Lobster
Hey, Linda. This is what you be doing?
David Lee Corbo
No, it's Lauren.
Top Lobster
Look, sorry, that was just Lauren.
David Lee Corbo
You ate a horse head. That's crazy. I know that about you, Lauren.
Top Lobster
That's crazy work.
David Lee Corbo
Let's keep reading. All right, let's get back to it. Where the hell is it?
Top Lobster
The butterfly floated up. Definitely not a butterfly.
David Lee Corbo
Right. Definitely not your uncle either, though. Oh, that was a wild tangent, that was. It just reminded you how far off the path we went. Holy shit.
Top Lobster
We're back on. We're professionals. All right, all right. You gotta sprinkle some cocaine on it.
David Lee Corbo
You know, a little bit of cocaine on it.
Top Lobster
With the Mortal Kombat hat.
David Lee Corbo
Mortal Kombat.
Top Lobster
I. I added a wiggly, wobbly, amorphous flying worm the size of the first two knuckles on your fingers. I ran out to the back porch with soapy hands, yelling to my boyfriend, sorry, Scott, she's taken.
David Lee Corbo
Sorry, Scott.
Top Lobster
Still asleep.
David Lee Corbo
Scott just taking L's over and over again. Every time he. He. He wants to, you know, have marital relations with a woman, they're taken.
Top Lobster
Just stop trying at this point.
David Lee Corbo
No, you gotta keep. You gotta keep trying.
Top Lobster
You gotta keep trying.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, wait, it's not. It's not. I don't know who.
Top Lobster
Who.
David Lee Corbo
Who that is.
Top Lobster
Oh, it's another guy.
David Lee Corbo
See how I scratch my upper lip on my teeth?
Top Lobster
Oh, no, I'm not bringing that up.
David Lee Corbo
Don't bring that up.
Top Lobster
Okay. Bam. All right, so I ran to the back porch. Boyfriend's still asleep.
David Lee Corbo
Sparrow's gonna marry Scott. Look, we're having a.
Top Lobster
It's beautiful.
David Lee Corbo
That's wonderful.
Top Lobster
Sparrow's already married. As it rounded the corner, probably, and the sunlight hit it, suddenly it was just a rainbow. Not a whole one, but like if you reached out and grabbed a chunk of a literal rainbow, then when you open your hand, the little chunk just flew away.
David Lee Corbo
See?
Top Lobster
Through Roygbiv. Red, orange, yellow, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet. Yeah, and about the size of your four fingers together. Just meandering around the yard. That's crazy, huh? I kept yelling to my lazy ass boyfriend, but it's. It didn't give a about me. It circled and fluttered back down to the hill into my vegetable garden near the pond, and then stopped over a vegetable patch. While it hovered about 2ft off the ground. There. There was a visual. There was a visual disturbance. Underneath it, a cone of wavy air, like heat waves Coming off the blacktop in the South Georgia. Yeah, like when it's real hot.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, yeah. The waves, the wavy waves.
Top Lobster
Yeah, that's what that the apples be sleeping on. Yeah, they want that.
David Lee Corbo
She's warm. Warm.
Top Lobster
Keep them warmth at night.
David Lee Corbo
Drink that gasoline.
Top Lobster
So pointing down at the ground, that got me. That got me. I blurted out, wow, what are you?
David Lee Corbo
I don't think I noticed a butterfly.
Top Lobster
Butterflies, Uncle Freddy. I don't think it had noticed me before that moment. Or maybe it thought I couldn't see it, but I guess this noise from my face, or my intention was directed at it. Now in that moment, it just kind of froze and disappeared. Like, oh, poof.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, this bitch can see me.
Top Lobster
It's like, damn, you see me. I was just enjoying the flowers.
David Lee Corbo
Like Bill Cosby.
Top Lobster
See you next time, cousin. No idea what that was, but I have wondered if that's the kind of rainbow they were talking about when God sent one to Noah.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, interesting.
Top Lobster
Instead of like this like curved fractal of light, like something.
David Lee Corbo
Have you considered that maybe this was a gay butterfly?
Top Lobster
Maybe. Maybe the rainbow itself right now is gay. And maybe this is the original rainbow.
David Lee Corbo
We've been flabbergasted.
Top Lobster
We've been butt fucked.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Top Lobster
BF'd is what into believing some shit. It's a Christian show. I hope it means good that you look like Jay Dyer when you did that face.
David Lee Corbo
Do it again.
Top Lobster
See it again? Yeah, yeah. From that angle.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Top Lobster
Right? Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
If he had sex with Robert De Niro, well, that doesn't really make him look different, but you know what I mean.
Top Lobster
A baby came back, kids, and then 30 years later. Yeah. I hope it means good things. Like more good homes coming for my dogs. Oh, it's been a long, nice, difficult project, but I've rehomed at least 50 in these years. She wasn't joking. You might have like 200.
David Lee Corbo
What the fuck? When are you gonna be. How many dogs you got? When does it end?
Top Lobster
These dogs must be old. She just keeps breeding them, probably.
David Lee Corbo
Oh yeah, well, that's the problem. You keep making them have babies, then you got to find a fucking home for the baby.
Top Lobster
Yeah, this is an endless cycle, but I hope you're making money off of it. Seeing them happy and spoiled in new homes makes all of this self inflicted poverty feel totally worth it. Besides, I always have what I needed when I need it. That's awesome. I'm always seeing orbs out there. Mostly white, but a couple pale orange.
David Lee Corbo
As long as there's no black ones, you be.
Top Lobster
You're good?
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Top Lobster
And one that tried to mimic a plane with a red and white flashing, but it was clearly a see through plane shape. When I snapped a photo of it, it turned and ran away so fast that it made me laugh. Little chicken shits.
David Lee Corbo
That reminds me of, like, the New Jersey drone situation where they were, like, zooming in on some of these things that look like planes, but then as you got closer, it just turned into.
Top Lobster
So I was talking with that guy Primal Resistance, about yesterday, because he's kind of like, we'll have him on the show. It was fun.
David Lee Corbo
We're gonna talk to him.
Top Lobster
We're gonna talk to him now. What he used to do. UFO paranormal investigation. He does. It's. It might be fun.
David Lee Corbo
All right.
Top Lobster
We talked to him about crazy shit,
David Lee Corbo
as long as it's not gay. But he was asking me.
Top Lobster
He was like, yeah, man. He's like, what do you think? Like, do you think some of this stuff is? I was like, I think it's a little bit of everything. It's a little potpourri. It's a little buffet.
David Lee Corbo
Smoke potpourri. It's called spice.
Top Lobster
Some of that shit see through. Some of that shit's real. Real shit. Some of it's government shit. Well, some has got a license.
David Lee Corbo
Fine, we'll talk to him.
Top Lobster
We'll talk to him.
David Lee Corbo
I just heard Nancy said that.
Top Lobster
Oh, don't.
David Lee Corbo
Matt was talking to some, I think she said, a faggot with a 90s haircut.
Top Lobster
She did say that.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah. And I said.
Top Lobster
I was like, you know what? It was his haircut. People were saying in the chat that he looked like David if David had his shit together.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, yeah. Like if I wasn't unable to lose a single fucking pound.
Top Lobster
Like a foot taller.
David Lee Corbo
Foot taller.
Top Lobster
Healthy. Yeah, More handsome.
David Lee Corbo
He guys handsome. Yeah. Did you guys see that episode? Did you. Did you like that? I didn't watch it.
Top Lobster
You guys can join the Straight Bible Patreon if you want to see it early. Go check that out. Don't unsubscribe from ours.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, don't do that.
Top Lobster
Do that. It's a lesser show. Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
Remember that.
Top Lobster
But it's a fine show.
David Lee Corbo
It's a fine show. Not every show is Nephilim Death Squad, but.
Top Lobster
No, no, there are no shows like this.
David Lee Corbo
Right. Maybe you should stop calling your guests faggots. Well, it wasn't my guest.
Top Lobster
You did that.
David Lee Corbo
You did that in the private chat I said. And I had. I didn't even have him on the show.
Top Lobster
Don't make me pull up the receipts. Nancy. Sometimes these orbs follow our cars to town, and then we can see them wander back to their usual hangout spots later that night. Their behavior is confusing. Most people can see them if they hang around here after dark, but they do not want to be seen by this one guy. But they do not want to be seen by this one guy. Was weird. A couple years ago, he got caught up in an abusive relationship with a witch. He's kind of always been a bit of a simp, but we love him anyway and try to convince him he might need help with this thing. I think she still has some kind of claim on him. He still thinks Taro is good. Eye roll. Yeah, the orbs disappear or hide when he's around. They even ran off while I was in the phone. On the phone with him. An orb came over the tree line at my brother's farm and wandered along the other side of the road while I was walking a dog at dusk. Walking a dog? How many? Fucking.
David Lee Corbo
I mean, got like 50 dogs.
Top Lobster
Yeah, but this one.
David Lee Corbo
Bring your dogs to Bro Grove.
Top Lobster
Oh, don't do that.
David Lee Corbo
All of them? How annoying would that be?
Top Lobster
Horrific.
David Lee Corbo
Yappy.
Top Lobster
If you do bring your dog, put a diaper on them.
David Lee Corbo
Tarot gang is pretty funny.
Top Lobster
Tarot.
David Lee Corbo
That's pretty funny.
Top Lobster
Yeah, I like that.
David Lee Corbo
2020 dogs.
Top Lobster
That's a lot of dogs.
David Lee Corbo
I could never.
Top Lobster
You name them?
David Lee Corbo
No. There's no fucking way. Remember Kaka Dookie?
Top Lobster
Yeah, like all. Just all of them. Which one didn't eat? We don't know. All right, so the. The orb came over the tree line. A sparkly ball of light doesn't really have a front or a face, so I guess it. I just felt it. It stopped and kind of turned to me and looked across the field. I grabbed my dog because it felt ominous. And then it was beelining right at me. But advice from the podcast popped in my head. I said loudly, in the name of Jesus, if you weren't here, if you weren't sent to do his will here. I command you not to come on my property and get out of here.
David Lee Corbo
Damn.
Top Lobster
It stopped right at the fence line and stared at me for a whole second, then turned his attention away and floated back the way it came. Damn. I called my brother to tell him it was back in his yard. I didn't realize that commanding things in non specific language is not always a great idea. More on that later. Huh? At least no other orbs have come onto my property since then. What the. Does that mean? They don't want anything to do with A witchcraft guy. But it also isn't here for God's purposes, and it respects our commands in the name of Jesus. But it's also non specific. So you sent him back to your brother, Right? Not cool.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, I've heard that, like, when you cast things out, you got to be super specific about where they go to hell. I say, like. Like, there was a time when I was really suffering from a lot of that in that house back in Tampa. And I forgot where I learned it from, but it was this idea of, like, if you tell. If you cast a thing out, it might just attach to somebody else that's in your house. You cast it out of your room, it might just go sit in the living room. You know what I mean? Like, you gotta be really specific.
Top Lobster
It's like a child. Like, I just told. I told my kid. I was like, hey, you just threw garbage on the floor. Pick it up. And then they pick it up and they put. Put it on the table.
David Lee Corbo
And I was like, you got to
Top Lobster
be really, really got to hold their hand and open the. Like, here, right? You go in the trash, in the
David Lee Corbo
name of Jesus Christ, pick that up and put it in the trash can.
Top Lobster
And they still might not, right?
David Lee Corbo
Well, that's what I. So I started doing that. I'd be like, you know, go where Jesus wills you to be.
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David Lee Corbo
Liberty, Liberty, Liberty, Liberty. Wherever God wants you, that's where you go. Not fucking here. You leave. Because I was like, something came up, and it was like this idea of, like, what if it attached to my neighbor?
Top Lobster
Yeah. And like, yeah, their problem?
David Lee Corbo
Well, it's spiritual warfare. I don't want to be responsible for them. Like, hey, you fucking go where Jesus wants you to go.
Top Lobster
Spiritual runoff.
David Lee Corbo
Leave my house and my property, and then you go wherever Jesus tells you to go. Amen.
Top Lobster
That's confusing, but I like it. All right. Story two J. Six principalities.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, shit.
Top Lobster
So my horse is a war horse. You just point him and shoot. He always goes to where you point him, period. Damn, that's cool. He also Has a miraculous sense of direction and could take me back to the trailer in D.C. like autopilot. Just say, let's go home, and he gets happy. Double times it. Back to the snacks. Hell, yeah. My uncle came around and he borrowed him on January 5th. I knew this was gonna be a thing. He knew he needed a very trustworthy ride because it could get dangerous. I bet you if you look for these people, like Washington D.C. horse evangelist, you're gonna see them.
David Lee Corbo
Well, yeah.
Top Lobster
I mean, can't be many.
David Lee Corbo
Go ahead and keep reading.
Top Lobster
So he and my horse were in that J6 crowd? Yeah. Just fucking find a horse in a J6 crowd. There's gonna be police horses and probably your horse. He came home safe, but they put him on a no fly list. The weirdest thing, my war horse wanted to go inside. Bones even tried to run at it and carry him upstairs. What's that mean? My uncle, who is big, a big strong dude, had to fight with him to keep him out of the building.
David Lee Corbo
Whoa.
Top Lobster
He even tried. Let's go home. Ultimately, he had to dismount and drag him away on foot. I could not believe it. Not my Bonesy. Just interesting. I guess my uncle was protected. I guess he didn't feel the compulsion that I heard people later describe powers and principalities, man.
David Lee Corbo
Compulsion to go inside. Yeah. Yeah.
Top Lobster
Go figure.
David Lee Corbo
Damn.
Top Lobster
She's mocking you with a figure. With the spelling of the word. So, yeah, this is a.
David Lee Corbo
Was she spelling it right?
Top Lobster
No. Okay, Number three.
David Lee Corbo
That.
Top Lobster
That is a crazy.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, this is a good question. Not about. Says Owley. Are you Jacob Chansley? It's a fair question.
Top Lobster
Do you wear face paint?
David Lee Corbo
From time to time. Are you a goofy, dumb cunt?
Top Lobster
No, she's not.
David Lee Corbo
No. That's what I think.
Top Lobster
Yeah. Questions here. No, I do. I like. I just like this story. What the hell happened to your horse? Your uncle was fine, but biting my horsey. The horse got spooked out. Is he still like that, or was it just something that.
David Lee Corbo
Like just that moment?
Top Lobster
I mean, there's not a lot of
David Lee Corbo
pictures of horses, to be perfectly honest, in the January 6th crowd. It's just. It's a lot bigger than I remember. The amount of people that showed up.
Top Lobster
That's what I'm saying. If you see a horse, it's probably just gonna be one, right? One fucking horse, Bonesy. And he's spooked out. Number three. Dogs, Serpents, Demon, Winds and Resurrection. And the face of evil. One night, I was feeding up. What does that mean? I was feeding up.
David Lee Corbo
Feeding it up.
Top Lobster
All right, I guess. Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
Get fed up.
Top Lobster
Wait, no.
David Lee Corbo
You see Owly, how that's confusing, right?
Top Lobster
And came upon two of my sweet dogs lying lifeless in their yard. Fuck, man. Did they get to the antifreeze? How dogs while two of them.
David Lee Corbo
You know it tastes good, right?
Top Lobster
The 20. The antifreezes. Yes. Very sweet. Delicious.
David Lee Corbo
Smells like pumpkin pie.
Top Lobster
I check for signs of life. They were long gone. Patrol for snakes. Safety is priority number one. I can't find one. None of the dogs are talking. They all just look bummed out. I tearfully stood over the girl's body a long time to pray, asking for forgiveness for somehow not protecting them. Thanking God that he didn't let them suffer too much and asking him to take care of them until I get there. Writing this out and I just proofread it. Makes me cry all over again. I love these kids. That sucks, man. Dead dogs. The worst dead dogs are the worst dog. And I mean, they're. They're still chill, but like just.
David Lee Corbo
No, I mean like.
Top Lobster
Yeah, yeah, but like seeing it.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Top Lobster
Not. Not cool.
David Lee Corbo
Wouldn't say like these. Like they suck, but not like it's not like they suck.
Top Lobster
Like it just sucks to be around because it's like. Yeah, like you remember what it was and then it's just like this stiff, lifeless body and you're like, oh, man. Wish I could remember this one's name.
David Lee Corbo
What'd you say?
Top Lobster
Nancy? I know I'm making fun of your lunch, but what did you say? Very sad. Were you laughing like that? Yeah. It's all day. It's all day today.
David Lee Corbo
You. I know I'm making fun of. Your lunch is wild. Oh, my God.
Top Lobster
As I sit in silent prayer.
David Lee Corbo
You asked. Yeah, I hear they're doing. We just looked up horse steaks only a moment ago, so no judgment here.
Top Lobster
Ever seen a Nancy cook some dog meat?
David Lee Corbo
Never seen a Nancy cook a dog head. Oh, no. Why would you do that, Nance? That's the wrong
Top Lobster
silent in prayer. The wind picked up and it was getting pretty loud. It was doing that blowy in all directions thing again. I was so upset and deeply in prayer. I was just not catching on. Then out of nowhere, one of the dogs made a horrible gasp. Completely impossible. My eyes popped open, horrified. And right there, the moccasin was just a foot from my toe. The toe of my boot. Oh, damn. It was headed right for me. That girl kept breathing while what? That girl kept breathing while. Relieved that thing of its. While I relieved that thing of its head with my shovel. Oh, man. The wind Whipped around me in all crazy directions. Then it clicked. I cast that out and heard it traveling away from me through the woods, heading north, parallel to the road. And it sounded like a freight train.
David Lee Corbo
Whoa.
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Liberty Mutual customizes your car and home insurance. And now we're customizing this ad for your morning commute to wake you up, which could help your driving. Science says that stimulating the brain increases alertness. So here's a pop quiz. How many months have 28 days? What gets wetter as it dries? What has keys but can't open locks? If you don't want to hear the answers, turn off this Liberty Mutual AD. Now 12 months. A towel, piano. Enjoy being fully alert.
David Lee Corbo
Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. I feel like people that. Like, she's got a lot of really crazy stories, but, like, she's also. I imagine and ally confirm, you know, or not that if you're dealing with all these animals, you probably. You got a big space. Seems like there's a tree line close to her based off of what she just said. Like, you're in tune with nature, not in a gay, pagan way.
Top Lobster
Yep.
David Lee Corbo
Right. But like, you're, you're out there all the time dealing with, you know, it's like if you. If you live all your life in a cubicle, you might not pick up on all these things, wind and. And shit like that, you know, to be able to determine that there's a spirit moving away from you, that you cast it out. But when you're out in these elements all the time and you're also, you know, grounded in Christ, you probably have a real sensitivity to these things where a lot of other people, it might go over their head, you know, so in that way, it's kind of like I'm imagining just somebody that's closer to the elements, just not in that. In that kind of gay, pagan, like, Native American way.
Top Lobster
No, I mean, you should be. This is where you. This is where you work. This is your, like, livelihood. This is where you are all the time. So, like, yeah, my house. I go out, like, in that middle of that field there. I'll go out there often. It'll be nighttime most of the time looking for this fucking dumb dog. And. But, like, it'll be pitch, pitch black. And I know what's going on out there. Like, you can hear stuff, you can feel stuff. You can see if something's wrong.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah. Owley says outside at all hours of every single day, you feel shit. Like I, you know, there's a distinct. Like she described, but you got to
Top Lobster
pay attention to it. Like when I first moved to this property.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Top Lobster
It was overwhelming being. Because I'm from a city, so everything's all jammed up and closed in. It was overwhelming. Like my senses were overwhelmed being there. So, like, you don't really feel anything.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Top Lobster
You just kind of like are not.
David Lee Corbo
Because you're getting too much. You have to turn that off.
Top Lobster
Too much information.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, yeah. Desensitized.
Top Lobster
Right.
David Lee Corbo
Because it's just overstimulation. But when she was describing that knowing like instinctively when a. When a snake is very dangerous, you know, like. And the animals also notice that. Whereas, like, I think she said oak snakes or something like that don't set off that same feeling. You know, there's like being in tune with it. Whereas. Yeah. If you're in the city, every fucking crackhead you pass is setting off this super dangerous, you know, thing. But you've got to turn it off in order to operate.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
And so, yeah, I think that's probably really bad for us.
Top Lobster
So snakes are crackheads.
David Lee Corbo
Yes.
Top Lobster
All right. So I cast that shit out and heard. And heard it traveling away from me through the woods. Heard a north parallel wind like a road, like a freight train. It had gone a good day distance away. Good old Grandma Lightning. Side out and deeply. Side out deeply. And finally left for her home.
David Lee Corbo
Wow.
Top Lobster
That's crazy. So the dog that was dying warned her. She'd only come back long enough to warn me and save me that night.
David Lee Corbo
Wow.
Top Lobster
This is when I learned exactly how specific and legalistic this warfare shit could be. The neighbors up the road to my north found their daughter dead the next morning.
David Lee Corbo
Whoa.
Top Lobster
She was diabetic, but it was still a big shock. She was only 43, not much older than me.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, cuz, you're old.
Top Lobster
Damn, dog. You sent the demon.
David Lee Corbo
You killed that bitch. What the fuck? Yo, that's crazy. What are you doing?
Top Lobster
That's messed up, Owly.
David Lee Corbo
Owly just killed that diabetic. That's nuts.
Top Lobster
She had it coming. Yeah, that's right. Maybe I shouldn't. But I feel like I might have missed something when I cast that thing out of my place. I'm still learning and at least I think I'm improving.
David Lee Corbo
That's exactly what I said though, right? You cast a thing, out it goes. And your neighbor up, Owlie.
Top Lobster
Sometimes you need.
David Lee Corbo
Well, she says gotta learn somehow. That's right. Sometimes we make mistakes, Owley. And that's okay.
Top Lobster
She learned.
David Lee Corbo
We're just learning.
Top Lobster
It's just worrying that there might be repercussions for getting into a Fight when you don't know the rules of engagement.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Top Lobster
Damn, man, that's heavy. The following. The following week, Lightning's daughter Gabby just outright told me to drop what I was doing and get a shovel. I can't explain it. I was feeding up again. And I literally just felt her say. Not words, just the idea smacked me in the face and I dropped the bucket to everyone else's dismay. What the fuck, Mom? You know, like, she's. She's feeding the dogs.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Top Lobster
Gabby wasn't looking at the bucket. She was looking at and yelling at me. Somehow I knew exactly where to look. Pretty far from where either of us were standing. Again, a big bitch water moccasin popped out of a hole and came right at me. I went at one, it went at one foot, then the other, then zipped around behind and underneath as I tap dance all around it.
David Lee Corbo
Geez, man, what the fuck?
Top Lobster
Things are nasty. I'm so glad. I mean, we have them here, but I'm glad that they're not, like, on my property like that. Like, I think we've done a pretty good job. But that's the thing, though. When you have, like, animals like this and it's kind of rural and it's. Yeah, they're out there most of the time, the other animals.
David Lee Corbo
But your dog does it good. That, like, he keeps an eye out for, like, predatory tortoises, right?
Top Lobster
I don't want to talk about. That's illegal.
David Lee Corbo
Predatory, you know, like, there's real dangerous tortoises that he catches.
Top Lobster
They're just trying to fight. I couldn't get my aim for a clean shop with the doing crazy shit so fast, but I was. It was frustrated by my dance moves. It turned and went straight for another dog nearby.
David Lee Corbo
Just nasty. Fucking A. Man on a mission.
Top Lobster
I took Chase and kind of used the shovel like a javelin. Got him. Pinned him down just a foot away from Flash, who was frozen like a deer in headlights. Okay, Safe now. That's it. That's what we did. Me and my cousin were out there. We found. What is that one called? The. The red and yellow. It has like, red and yellow right? Next a coral.
David Lee Corbo
A coral snake.
Top Lobster
Yeah, Real small one.
David Lee Corbo
Red, yellow, and black.
Top Lobster
Yeah. And it was just going through the weeds and we. We got it with a rake.
David Lee Corbo
Boink.
Top Lobster
Pinned it down and then took a gun on Blap. Blapped him. Fucking. Where's my. Where's my sound effect?
David Lee Corbo
That's it. Three rounds.
Top Lobster
I was just one round. Fuck him. That was great. That was the last one we seen on the property. But those things are the other ones got the message. Yeah. They're like, yo, not. Not these guys, man. All right. So safe now. But this Pin one snake was still trying to get at me. Waving its fangs mouth wide open, violently trying to reach me. Then it strained its head up toward my face just enough to lock eyes with me. The evil intent on its face, it was possessed by pure hatred and malice. I had to shake it off to tear my eyes away. Then I jumped all my weight onto the shovel to dispatch that dickhead serpent. It made me think that we could be wayfallen. It made me think that could be the way fallen would look at us. It wouldn't make any animal suffer. I wouldn't make any animal suffer. Even a nasty fat bastard like him. I also didn't feel conflicted about getting it done humanely, of course.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah.
Top Lobster
His intent was to cause suffering, for sure. His body kept trying to get at me for a long time. I had to stay there and keep his pieces safely contained until his nervous system finally ran out of juice. Not cool.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, man.
Top Lobster
Snakes are fucking snakes. Really A not great.
David Lee Corbo
Dude, it is crazy that, like, even a decapitated head.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
Like there's every once in a while, some dumbass cuts the head off one with, like, a shovel or something, then picks the head up and then it's fucking bitten.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
And you're still fucked.
Top Lobster
Nuts.
David Lee Corbo
Yep.
Top Lobster
P.S. by a series of absolute miracles, I got the last two VIP tickets.
David Lee Corbo
That's awesome.
Top Lobster
I really don't get out much, and my friends are mostly quadrupeds,
David Lee Corbo
so I
Top Lobster
hope someone will politely swat at me and go if I accidentally wag my tail in public.
David Lee Corbo
Sadly, it's very common. This is a dog. The whole time.
Top Lobster
This is a dog. Been writing to us. Right?
David Lee Corbo
Better grammar. Yeah. Than a lot of people. Yeah.
Top Lobster
The last Mexican that we read about. If you want to help the dogs out to psych. PPS Tell everyone you know. No adoption fees for my homies, but only for really good, dangerously retarded homes.
David Lee Corbo
That's awesome.
Top Lobster
Let's put the link on here. Actually, we could pull up the page. Right.
David Lee Corbo
Let's pull up the page.
Top Lobster
Southern Sunshine Beagles. Oh, they are cute. Oh, come on. All right, here we go.
David Lee Corbo
Okay. So you can click adopt or apply to adopt. And she says, write me something useful in the application so I can match it. Personalities that might fit with lifestyles and families.
Top Lobster
She got her personality. That's awesome. Yeah. So Southern Sunshine Beagles dot com. Look at these guys.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, my Gosh she says they're not loud. I do like it. Look at it.
Top Lobster
I like the dog. Yeah, they're very nice.
David Lee Corbo
Look at that. Is that an old one? Isn't that Anthony Fauci's favorite breed? Yeah, this is what. Honestly, that kind of makes it like the conspiracy mascot dog kind of. Right, right. Because Fauci tried to put their head.
Top Lobster
Try to.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah. And he had. What kind of flies with it? Mayflies or something like that. Eat their skulls. Like, eat them alive.
Top Lobster
Yeah. I mean, even for the.
David Lee Corbo
Like, they are adorable.
Top Lobster
Not a bad price either. I mean, these are. These are great dogs.
David Lee Corbo
Not a big dog. Not a big dog. My wife and I go back and forth sometimes about the dog. My wife.
Top Lobster
Yeah, My wife. Don't do it.
David Lee Corbo
Just a big pain in the ass.
Top Lobster
No, I mean, my dog just cost me like, four grand.
David Lee Corbo
Right.
Top Lobster
Xylitol gum is very poisonous.
David Lee Corbo
Don't let your dogs eat xylitol. I did. Sand fleas. That's what it was. I said mayflies and retarded.
Top Lobster
Yeah. Didn't let him eat it. He just did it because he's a dick. But yeah, Southern Sunshine. Beagles.com. i'm gonna put. I'll put it in the comments as well, so that way people could see it. Go check it out, man. Is that.
David Lee Corbo
Isn't that kind of true? I mean, I would say that that's the. The conspiracy mascot dog now.
Top Lobster
It should be.
David Lee Corbo
It should be because of what Fauci fucking did. Like, yeah, Every conspiracy theorist that has a dog.
Top Lobster
I wonder if Matt will let us keep one in the shop.
David Lee Corbo
Shop dog. Hell, yeah.
Top Lobster
Shop beagle. We got a shop beagle.
David Lee Corbo
I like that. That was a great submission, Owley. And I actually want to say, let that be the standard. You assholes take note from Owley. And. And, you know, just do your best with the grammar. And if you're gonna write us 17 pages, you know, make sure it's fun.
Top Lobster
Make them good.
David Lee Corbo
Make them good. Lie to us. Whatever.
Top Lobster
Do we have any other stories, Nance,
David Lee Corbo
Is Snoopy a beagle? Snoopy was a cartoon.
Top Lobster
I don't know if Snoopy was a beagle. Snoopy Beagle.
David Lee Corbo
I know. Scooby was a Great Dane. Although he's a cartoon. Shut up.
Top Lobster
Shut the up, Nancy. Do we have any other stories? Are we going to end this show right now? What are we doing?
David Lee Corbo
I don't know which ones you read. Did you put them in the red file? She doesn't know.
Top Lobster
There's no files.
David Lee Corbo
There's no files. We were Just sitting here in the Chronicles email.
Top Lobster
Because we just struggling, struggling out here, baby girl. We're just.
David Lee Corbo
It's really not. It's not been easy. I put this story in drive last night.
Top Lobster
Hey, who remembers the one that we thought was AI?
David Lee Corbo
Oh, I got one.
Top Lobster
Which file are you looking at?
David Lee Corbo
So. So this one's going to be fast.
Top Lobster
No, wait, wait. Can we read the one that we thought was AI?
David Lee Corbo
No, because it's very long, and I don't know where we stopped, so I have to look at the whole thing. And apparently he sent us an email being like, God no longer wants me to harp on the demonic encounters of my life.
Top Lobster
Oh, that's what he said.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah. So I'm like, okay, does that mean that we shouldn't read that?
Top Lobster
I. I found him. I found him.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, we do have one short one.
Top Lobster
No, he just emailed us again.
David Lee Corbo
What'd he say?
Top Lobster
Today I was listening to Chronicles. Yeah. Oh, yeah. See, Corey, I don't care if you ever read my story. I feel like God spoke to me after you didn't. Man, we're just destroying.
David Lee Corbo
It's just crazy because it was like. It was set up like, you got to tell me the truth. Who is that?
Top Lobster
Corey.
David Lee Corbo
Okay, Corey, did you use AI to help you structure that story? Because there's no fucking way that I missed, and that's fine. I'm not saying that that's a disqualifier, but I know how AI talks because we use it to make our descriptions for our shows, and it talks just like that. Like, I already addressed that in the email. What do you say? The angry email. It's not AI. Yeah, yeah, but I think. Yeah, the story's not AI, But I think he used AI to help him type it out.
Top Lobster
Bless you, Nancy. All right, so go ahead, read your story, David.
David Lee Corbo
Well, this is. This is a short one.
Top Lobster
I feel really bad about this, Corey.
David Lee Corbo
No, we're gonna read Corey stories. I just had to figure out where we stopped because we got, like, halfway through that story.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
So I had to go back, listen to that episode, figure out where we stopped, and then pick it back up again.
Top Lobster
I think the name of this show should be did we read this? Did we read this?
David Lee Corbo
That's actually part of the. That's like when I used to do timeline cleanse, and I would do 10 minutes without the mic on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's lying. Like when your teacher catches you cheating. It's okay, Corey, if you used AI to, like, structure the story and you say, like, hey, this is written like shit. AI, can you help me? Yeah, that's fine.
Top Lobster
Have you.
David Lee Corbo
Did you guys read Queen of Heaven?
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David Lee Corbo
That's actually what I got open right here. Okay.
Top Lobster
Okay. So let's read that. Queen of. Oh yeah. They know. They know what we want to hear.
David Lee Corbo
So this is very short.
Top Lobster
Damn. They wrote this in old bold giant letters. Okay, good.
David Lee Corbo
This from Max.
Top Lobster
Max with three X's.
David Lee Corbo
Max says. So I am going to apologize first. I'm not much of a writer, so this might be completely retarded. Well, you could just put it into AI It's. And then tell AI to write it for you. And then I'll notice the speech patterns and say that AI made this up and then I won't read it. You guys have been covering a lot about this topic of the Queen of Heaven. And I can't help but think of an experience I had about 10 years ago. I was visiting my brother in law up in the Pacific Northwest and while on his on this trip we had gone camping. At the time, he had been experimenting with a lot of hallucinogenic drugs. And earlier, before we went camping, he had purchased some salvia from the local smoke no shop. I think no is not meant to be there. From the local smoke shop in Olympia. We were hanging around the campfire and we decided to try smoking this salvia. Fuck, dude, let me tell you, smoking salvia next to a fire, risky business. Risky business because you kind of do stuff.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
Where like you might be like, ah. And then next thing you know you're rolling around in the fire.
Top Lobster
Might get you a story on chronicles.
David Lee Corbo
I mean I've seen. You ever see the video where the dude like freaks out and then gets up on his sofa and behind his sofa there's a window and he just falls through the glass window.
Top Lobster
Wasn't the drinking out of cups guy salvia too?
David Lee Corbo
So supposedly that was lsd. I don't know how much I buy that. I don't imagine it was salvia though, because you can't really say much of anything on salvia. You just Go like it's fucking. You're barely human on salvia.
Top Lobster
It's crazy.
David Lee Corbo
Three minutes of just not being in this realm at all.
Top Lobster
We were hanging that Thomas likes. Right.
David Lee Corbo
It's interesting because it's certainly not addictive.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
And it only lasts.
Top Lobster
I mean, profound. It's just bizarre.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, it's profound. To become two dimensional is a profound experience. It's. It's super crazy. But when you. When you come out of it, there is no residual. You're just out of it. It. You're back to normal. Like, you're totally back to normal. There's no. Like, you drink and you're drunk and you don't feel good or you smoke and you're high for a long time. This is like. You smoke, you disappear for about three to four minutes. Although I think Thomas says he's aware of like strains that'll put you in there for 20 minutes. I don't see any reason to go visit the two dimensional realm for 20 minutes. Three minutes is a fascinating experience. And. And when you come out of it, you're just back, baby. Like, you're back. And it's all fucking good.
Top Lobster
We're back and we're better than ever.
David Lee Corbo
It's crazy. Atma says it. Salvia will drop. Kick your ass into a different timeline. And never a good one.
Top Lobster
I agree with this.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Top Lobster
Fuck you, Scott.
David Lee Corbo
We're hanging out around the campfire. We decided to try smoking this salvia he had bought. I was skeptical, thinking this stuff was nothing more than fake weed. Nope. Dude, it's fucking crazy. And would have no effect other than giving us both a headache. I was the first to go and I took a hit off the pipe and was not prepared. There is simply no way to prepare. You cannot prepare for what salvia is going to put you through. I can only describe what I experience as astro projection.
Top Lobster
I'm the inside of this plastic straw.
David Lee Corbo
I had left my body and found myself traveling through space surrounded by a kaleidoscope of. Of infinite timelines. Yeah, sure. I mean, and that's the thing is it's not really cohesive. Like, it gives you a lot of experiences. Ari Shafir famously lived a life for eight months, I think, under the ocean with his under the ocean family.
Top Lobster
It just sounds like whatever testimony is coming out of Seth's book, it's crazy.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, it is. Like, how about that faggot Salvia does enough where these entities go. Like, I don't know, man. Just fuck it. They're like, like Shake a magic eight ball of probabilities and then just give you whatever pops up.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
The best way I can think to articulate what I saw, or the closest I can get to explaining it, is like interlinking lives that were spiraling forever. Almost like film reels all moving in and out, connecting to each other infinitely. That reminds me a lot of Mother Horse Eyes.
Top Lobster
Yeah.
David Lee Corbo
Where they're describing, like, these geometric patterns.
Top Lobster
We should do a review of that show.
David Lee Corbo
Oh, we have to do one this week. Yeah, maybe we could do it tomorrow. But chat.
Top Lobster
What are you doing tomorrow?
David Lee Corbo
Yeah, what are you guys doing tomorrow?
Top Lobster
You want to hang out? You may be around. You want to listen to the fucking story maybe too.
David Lee Corbo
By the way, guys, if you're really hurting for VIP tickets, if you create enough of a demand, we might be able. We have to have some conversations. We might be able to put a couple more up for sale, so let us know.
Top Lobster
It's illegal.
David Lee Corbo
Could be moving in and out, connecting to each other infinitely. It just sounds like that geometry thing where some of the people in Mother Horse Eyes were able to. What is it? Perceive the fourth dimension? A woman appeared to me.
Top Lobster
A woman.
David Lee Corbo
What's up? Said from where? From Turning Point. Who's that? A woman appeared to me. She was shining in gold. Her hair and skin were gold. And she had a long flowing dress that was light purple color.
Top Lobster
Guys, from Turning Point.
David Lee Corbo
I know. That's why. That's what I was.
Top Lobster
I was like, let me see this.
David Lee Corbo
So it lost me. As soon as he said, he's returning. Hey, say hi to this Turning Point.
Top Lobster
All right.
David Lee Corbo
Anyway, so she's shining in gold, and her hair and her skin were gold. And she had a long flowing dress that was light purple. She seemed to be floating among the chaos out in the universe. She looked at me with an expression of mild annoyance and pity. She smoked and said, you have to go back. She then made a gesture with her hand, and I felt like I was falling. And swept back into the frame of the moment of my life where I was sitting back into my camp chair, slumped over with a pipe and a lighter in my hand. That is crazy.
Top Lobster
Nuts just like, out of it.
David Lee Corbo
That's crazy as hell.
Top Lobster
So he took the hit.
David Lee Corbo
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Pretty. I mean, you know, who knows he. From. From your perspective, if you were watching your homie do that, you're probably laughing at him. He's going. Like that.
Top Lobster
You just made contact with the Divine Femme. And she said, get the fuck out of here.
David Lee Corbo
And then. And then sometimes I'll do this. They'll go. And you're so. It's fun for you if you're watching. It's a lot of fun. So that experience scared the shit out of me. And I never touched salvia again. Appreciate you guys. Been following you since the start of Tower Gang. Wow.
Top Lobster
Shout out to Tarot Gang.
David Lee Corbo
Tarot Gang. It's been cool to see your journey. That's a cool story.
Top Lobster
That was cool.
David Lee Corbo
I like a salvia story.
Top Lobster
We had some good stories today, I must say. A lot less. A lot less faggots writing into.
David Lee Corbo
Try to get the light to get me to sneeze. But it was. That's not.
Top Lobster
That's not how that works at all.
David Lee Corbo
It works for me with the light. Wasn't enough light. If this light was on, I would have sneezed.
Top Lobster
Do we have anything else to address?
David Lee Corbo
Do you sneeze when you look at the light?
Top Lobster
We got big titty bitches talking about the nephilim.
David Lee Corbo
We got Church.
Top Lobster
We have Nancy not fucking doing her job again.
David Lee Corbo
Doing anything.
Top Lobster
And a couple of great stories of
David Lee Corbo
Beagles fucking thing I did. You liar.
Top Lobster
I like me. I like that she's around. You're not looking at the right file.
David Lee Corbo
I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, Nancy. Oh, by the way, we did get to see the NDS video game.
Top Lobster
Oh, yeah, we did.
David Lee Corbo
Right before this show started. We got a sneak preview of two of the levels and some of the gameplay.
Top Lobster
Dave Miller is crushing on that.
David Lee Corbo
Shout out to Dave Miller. And it's very much inspired by some of the chat knows this, my personal favorite. One of my personal favorite nostalgic video games, which is Mega Man X. And we stole some of the mechanics from Mega Man X. But I don't think it's illegal to do that probably.
Top Lobster
We're working on having it available to play at Bohemian Grove.
David Lee Corbo
We'll probably have a demo available. Yeah, yeah.
Top Lobster
Demo of like a level or two or something like that. It's really. It's actually really cool. I don't even know what to say. I'm looking at it and I'm going like this fucking.
David Lee Corbo
It's weird.
Top Lobster
It's just like I'm gonna. They put me in a video game with lobster powers. And it. It's really cool.
David Lee Corbo
It is really cool. All right. Is that it? We just want to tell everybody about our cool stuff and then get out of here.
Top Lobster
Bet you the Orthodox church doesn't have a video game. No, I don't think so. Do it again. The end is written in the book in the pages.
David Lee Corbo
They for. Desperate.
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David Lee Corbo
Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.
Episode: "War Horse of The Apocalypse"
Date: May 18, 2026
Hosts: David L Corbo (The Raven) & Top Lobsta (Father of Disinformation)
This special episode of NDS Chronicles features hosts David L Corbo and Top Lobsta navigating a mix of Christian comedy, biblical conspiracy, and listener-submitted paranormal stories. The show delves into recent beefs within the "conspiritainment" community, critiques of Orthodox and Catholic traditions, and a feature "chronicle" involving supernatural horse adventures and spiritual warfare in Washington, D.C. True to form, the episode is raw, irreverent, and loaded with inside jokes for the NDS community.
| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |-----------|-------------|---------| | 11:41 | “It’s incredible, a woman’s ability to take a fascinating subject and make it unlistenable.” | Corbo | | 23:55 | “Jesus died so you can approach the throne boldly… the Bible talks about it over and over again, there’s no other mediator but Christ.” | Corbo | | 24:17 | “It’s just a waste of time if you ask me... If you want to do weird paintings and pray to saints, have fun, but don't say I'm not Christian.” | Top Lobsta | | 28:24 | “It’s sterile, gaudy, ridiculous… half is in a language you don’t even speak.” | Top Lobsta | | 59:37 | “I pulled my blanket over my head and hid in bed like a five year old hides from the boogeyman… I prayed, ‘Hey God, if you’re real, what is going on?’… and then it stopped instantly.” | Lauren (read by Corbo) | | 62:29 | “Once you’re in the fight, you’re thankful for validation and some experienced backup.” | Lauren | | 80:51 | “Leave my house and my property, and then you go wherever Jesus tells you to go.” | Corbo | | 90:18 | “You killed that bitch. What the fuck!? Yo, that’s crazy! What are you doing?” | Corbo | | 104:10 | “I had left my body and found myself traveling through space surrounded by a kaleidoscope of infinite timelines.” | Max | | 107:22 | “You just made contact with the Divine Femme, and she said, ‘Get the fuck out of here.’” | Top Lobsta |
See transcript for further memorable exchanges and escalating inside jokes among hosts and fans.
| Start (MM:SS) | Segment | |---------------|---------| | 00:31 | Show intro, Patreon/merch updates, Bohemian Grove tickets | | 04:11–16:18 | Reviewing women discussing Nephilim/Instagram drama | | 20:04–28:33 | Meme theology: Catholic/Orthodox intercession, church critiques | | 34:08–65:08 | Listener chronicle: “War Horse of the Apocalypse” by Lauren | | 65:26–97:00 | Bonus stories: orbs, animal rescue, beagle mascot drive | | 100:52–107:44 | Salvia story and the vision of the Queen of Heaven | | 107:45–End | Wrap-up, video game preview, call for submissions, community banter |
This NDS Chronicles installment is quintessential Nephilim Death Squad: chaotic, brash, and blending genuine inquiry into the supernatural with satire and skepticism toward mainstream religious authority. The main “war horse” chronicle bridges supernatural experiences with daily rural life, while the hosts' personal and listener anecdotes animate the show’s mission—exposing hidden history, confronting spiritual deception, and doing so with both biblical seriousness and irrepressible humor.
Stay curious. Stay dangerous.