Podcast Summary: RISK! Episode “Between Friends”

Title: Between Friends
Host: Kevin Allison
Guest Storyteller: Sarah Bell
Release Date: February 20, 2025

Introduction

In this evocative episode of RISK!, titled “Between Friends”, Sarah Bell shares a deeply personal and transformative story from her youth. Hosted by Kevin Allison, the episode delves into Sarah's experiences navigating friendship, identity, and trauma during her formative years in a challenging environment.

Story Overview

Sarah Bell recounts her time attending a year-round musical theater camp, Centenary, from ages 14 to 18. Despite her late blooming in adolescence—marked by braces, uneven puberty, and social anxieties—Sarah finds solace and a sense of belonging through her friendship with Leslie, a popular and sexually confident girl at the workshop.

Key Themes and Discussions

1. Friendship and Identity

Sarah's friendship with Leslie becomes a cornerstone of her high school experience. Leslie's charisma and confidence contrast sharply with Sarah's own insecurities, creating a dynamic where Sarah both admires and increasingly relies on Leslie.

• Quote:
  “She was so cool and so confident and so okay with herself that she made me feel more okay with myself.”
  (15:30)

2. Introduction to Substance Use

Leslie introduces Sarah to marijuana, marking Sarah's first experience with being high. This moment signifies a pivotal point in Sarah's attempt to fit in and cope with her personal struggles.

• Quote:
  “You have no idea. Everybody smokes weed. It's not just you.”
  (12:45)

3. Turmoil and Betrayal

As the years progress, Leslie's behavior becomes increasingly erratic and self-destructive. This culminates in a traumatic experience where Sarah feels pressured into a sexual encounter she was not ready for, leading to feelings of shame and betrayal.

• Quote:
  “I felt betrayed. I felt like she knew that I would be really bothered when girls or anybody would tease me and call me a dyke, because I knew in my heart that I wasn't.”
  (17:20)

4. Coping with Loss and Grief

The story takes a harrowing turn when Leslie's father commits suicide. Sarah describes the intense grief and confusion she feels, especially observing Leslie's uncharacteristic behavior while mourning.

• Quote:
  “She was tripping her face off at her father's funeral. I was just so out of my depth.”
  (19:00)

5. The Downfall of Friendship

Leslie's continued instability leads to the deterioration of their friendship. Sarah struggles to reconcile her reliance on Leslie with the realization that Leslie's actions are damaging her own sense of self.

• Quote:
  “I felt like fingering Leslie had made me a dyke. Like it or not.”
  (18:15)

Insights and Reflections

Sarah Bell's narrative is a poignant exploration of the complexities of teenage friendships, especially when intertwined with issues of identity and substance use. Her story highlights the following insights:

• The Impact of Peer Influence:
  Sarah illustrates how pivotal friendships during adolescence can significantly influence one's behavior and self-perception.

• Struggle with Identity:
  The pressure to conform and the fear of judgment deeply affect Sarah's journey towards understanding her own identity.

• Coping Mechanisms:
  Substance use emerges as a coping mechanism for both Sarah and Leslie, offering temporary relief but leading to long-term consequences.

• Trauma and Resilience:
  The tragic loss of Leslie's father serves as a catalyst for Sarah's eventual distancing, showcasing her path towards healing and self-empowerment.

Conclusion

“Between Friends” is a raw and honest portrayal of Sarah Bell's experience with friendship, loss, and self-discovery. Through her storytelling, Sarah provides listeners with a window into the tumultuous emotions and challenges that shape personal growth. Kevin Allison's empathetic hosting allows the story to resonate deeply, emphasizing the importance of understanding and compassion in navigating the complexities of human relationships.

• Final Thought from Sarah:
  “I still put on my liquid eyeliner the same way she showed me how 16 years ago. And like it or not, she was my first finger blast.”
  (30:45)

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• “She was so cool and so confident and so okay with herself that she made me feel more okay with myself.”
  — Sarah Bell (15:30)

• “You have no idea. Everybody smokes weed. It's not just you.”
  — Leslie (12:45)

• “I felt betrayed. I felt like she knew that I would be really bothered when girls or anybody would tease me and call me a dyke, because I knew in my heart that I wasn't.”
  — Sarah Bell (17:20)

• “She was tripping her face off at her father's funeral. I was just so out of my depth.”
  — Sarah Bell (19:00)

• “I felt like fingering Leslie had made me a dyke. Like it or not.”
  — Sarah Bell (18:15)

• “I still put on my liquid eyeliner the same way she showed me how 16 years ago. And like it or not, she was my first finger blast.”
  — Sarah Bell (30:45)

Final Thoughts

Sarah Bell’s “Between Friends” is a testament to the enduring impact of early relationships and the intricate journey of self-discovery. Her willingness to share such a vulnerable story aligns perfectly with the core ethos of RISK!, inviting listeners to reflect on their own experiences and the profound ways in which our friendships shape who we become.

Listen to the full episode on RISK!