Campy!

Summary

Podcast Summary: RISK! Episode "Campy!"

Title: Campy!
Host: Kevin Allison
Release Date: July 8, 2025
Description: In this heartfelt and humorous episode of RISK!, host Kevin Allison brings listeners two deeply personal coming-of-age stories set against the backdrop of summer camp experiences. Despite the timing of a tragic event in Texas, the episode "Campy!" aims to celebrate the joys and challenges of summer camp through the vivid narratives shared by Lindsay Ames and Shannon M. Turner.

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Introduction and Context

At the outset, Kevin Allison addresses a recent tragedy—terrible flooding at Camp Mystic Summer Camp in Texas that resulted in the loss of 27 lives, including campers and counselors. He expresses his condolences and clarifies that the episode, originally titled "Campy!", was intended to highlight nostalgic and positive summer camp memories amidst a time of national sorrow.

Notable Quote:

"This episode is called Campy because it features two coming of age stories by women who look back with fondness at their experiences at summer camp."
— Kevin Allison [00:00]

Despite the somber announcement, Allison transitions smoothly into the episode's main content, ensuring that the stories remain the focal point.

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Lindsay Ames: "The Jerk"

Timestamp Highlights:

• [07:27] Lindsay Ames begins her candid and humorous recounting of her sexual awakening at Jewish Camp Atikva when she was 14 years old. She vividly describes her physical insecurities and her heightened sexual awareness during her teenage years.

• [12:03] Lindsay shares an intimate moment during a movie night where she attempts to engage with Tony Smith, the camp's most popular and attractive camper. She describes the awkward yet memorable experience of attempting to give him a massage, only to find herself momentarily starstruck by his presence.

• [13:42] A pivotal moment occurs when Lindsay discovers that her friend Carly has unexpectedly joined her and Tony in the sleeping bag, leading to an uncomfortable and confusing situation.

• [15:50] Lindsay humorously concludes her story by revealing the aftermath of the incident, including Tony being grounded for a hickey she gave him and later experiences that further define her coming-of-age journey.

Notable Quotes:

"I was so flat that my tits were practically coming out my back and I just had this really pointy, pointy vagina. Just really, really sharp."
— Lindsay Ames [01:58]

"If you were sent to spy on me."
— Shannon M. Turner [34:47]

"Lego my Eggo, please."
— Lindsay Ames [15:53]

Lindsay's story blends humor with vulnerability, offering listeners an unfiltered glimpse into her teenage experiences at summer camp. Her narrative explores themes of self-image, friendship, and the awkwardness of first sexual encounters, all delivered with her characteristic wit and honesty.

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Shannon M. Turner: "Tomfoolery"

Timestamp Highlights:

• [20:57] Shannon M. Turner dives into her deep-seated affection for her favorite camp counselor, Tom, highlighting her first major crush and the impact he had on her camp experience. She paints a vivid picture of Tom's charismatic presence and her admiration for him.

• [23:45] Shannon recounts the emotional turmoil following the death of Tom's beloved cat, Arthur, which serves as a catalyst for her evolving feelings and the complexity of her relationships at camp.

• [34:37] The tension escalates as Shannon details a fraught interaction with Andy, another counselor, leading to a near-confrontation that underscores the unspoken emotional strains among the camp staff.

• [37:31] In a climactic moment, Shannon describes a metaphorical and literal storm that mirrors her internal conflicts, culminating in a pivotal decision to leave camp and redefine her life beyond the confines of her youthful affections.

Notable Quotes:

"Now, I feel like I melted inside. Like all of my insides just dropped down into my toes as I crossed over this line from little girl crush into grown up love."
— Shannon M. Turner [23:45]

"Andy said, you think Tom doesn't know how you feel about him? And I said, what do you mean? And he said, he knows."
— Shannon M. Turner [34:45]

"I installed a new operating system, one that was just for me."
— Shannon M. Turner [37:39]

Shannon's narrative delves into the complexities of adolescent love, unrequited feelings, and the challenges of maintaining personal identity amidst emotional turbulence. Her story is poignant, capturing the essence of longing and the courage to move forward despite lingering affections.

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Host’s Updates and Reflections

Throughout the episode, Kevin Allison intersperses the stories with personal updates and reflections about the state of the RISK! podcast. He candidly discusses financial challenges, his upcoming move to Bangkok, and reassurances that the podcast will continue despite these changes.

Notable Quotes:

"Risk is not going anywhere. Some people seem to think that because I'm moving to Bangkok that the show might be winding down. That is not the game plan."
— Kevin Allison [05:31]

"I'm teaching two new online storytelling workshops, one starting in July, another in August. People are just loving these Workshops."
— Kevin Allison [19:47]

Allison's transparency about the podcast's behind-the-scenes challenges adds a layer of authenticity and fosters a deeper connection with the audience. He also promotes listener engagement through storytelling workshops and upcoming live events, emphasizing the community-driven spirit of RISK!.

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Conclusion

"Campy!" serves as a testament to the enduring impact of summer camp experiences on personal growth and identity formation. Through Lindsay Ames' and Shannon M. Turner's stories, listeners are invited to reflect on their own formative years, the friendships forged, and the emotional landscapes navigated during those pivotal summers. Kevin Allison masterfully balances the celebratory tones of nostalgia with the seriousness of contemporary events, offering a rich and engaging narrative that resonates deeply with both long-time fans and new listeners alike.

Final Notable Quote:

"Today's the day. Take a risk."
— Kevin Allison [43:36]

This closing encouragement encapsulates the essence of the episode, urging listeners to embrace vulnerability and share their own stories, no matter how daunting it may seem.

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Additional Information:

• Stories Featured:

  • Lindsay Ames – "The Jerk"
  • Shannon M. Turner – "Tomfoolery"

• Host Insights:

  • Financial challenges and relocation plans.
  • Upcoming storytelling workshops and live events.

• Support and Engagement:

  • Listeners are encouraged to support the podcast through Patreon.
  • Opportunities to participate in online storytelling events and workshops.

For more stories and to support RISK!, visit www.risk-show.com.

Transcript

[Kevin Allison]

Hey folks, this is Kevin. As you might know, Risk episodes are produced and scheduled weeks in advance of when they show up in your podcast feed. But right before this episode you're about to hear was supposed to drop. A horrifying tragedy in Texas has occurred. At the moment that I'm recording this announcement, 27 campers and counselors at Camp Mystic Summer Camp in Texas have died from terrible flooding there. Our hearts go out to all of the family and friends of the victims, anyone affected by this ongoing tragedy. At a time when our nation, our entire nation, is hurting so terribly, it's hard to process even more hurting. Now, I'm making this announcement because I hope the timing of releasing this episode amidst all of this is not hurtful to anyone. This episode is called Campy because it features two coming of age stories by women who look back with fondness at their experiences at summer camp. The stories are about the fun and the growing pains that we usually associate with summer camp. And we thought it would be a nice seasonal sort of thing to be running in July. But we also want to say a prayer for, or to hold in our hearts the folks who are experiencing such a devastating tragedy in Texas this weekend. And with that said onto the episode as it was originally prepared. Hey folks, this is Kevin. On this week's episode of Risk, you'll hear Lindsay Ames.

[Lindsay Ames]

I was so flat that my tits were practically coming out my back and I just had this really pointy, pointy vagina. Just really, really sharp.

[Kevin Allison]

You know that and more. But first, did you know that no matter where in the world you you could be on Risk, we record radio style stories and conversation style stories via online platforms. So you could be in Timbuktu or Guadalajara. You could be up at the North Pole if they get wi fi there. Maybe you have a super short story about the funniest thing that's ever happened to you. Or maybe you have a longer one about a time you were super scared or pissed off or walking on air, you were so excited. Anytime you can recall a feeling of strong emotion, there's probably a story there. So pitch [e-mail] submissions.

[Shannon M. Turner]

We'll be right back.

[Lindsay Ames]

On WhatsApp, no one can see or hear your personal messages. Whether it's a voice call message or sending a password to WhatsApp, it's all just this. So whether you're sharing the streaming password in the family chat or trading those late night voice messages that could basically become a podcast, your personal messages stay between you, your friends and your family. No one else, not even us. WhatsApp message privately with everyone hey, it's.

[Shannon M. Turner]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal, so there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment.

[Lindsay Ames]

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[Kevin Allison]

Road trip and you didn't stop for a Big Mac or drop a crispy fry between the car seats or use your McDonald's bag as a placemat, then that wasn't a road trip.

[Shannon M. Turner]

A really long drive.

[Kevin Allison]

At participating McDonald's.

[Lindsay Ames]

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[Kevin Allison]

Hello folks. This is Risk, the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share. I'm Kevin Allison and this is Julian Lodge behind me now. And we're calling this week's episode and Campy two stories about summer camp. Folks, I want to make super clear that Risk is not going anywhere. Some people seem to think that because I'm moving to Bangkok that the show might be winding down. That is not the game plan. It's true we are in severe financial distress. Again, it's true that I'm moving to Bangkok to be able to afford to keep a roof over my head, what with all the pay cuts and so forth that we've had to make. But the game plan is to keep this podcast running. So last week, after almost 16 years, I hosted my last New York City live Risk show for the foreseeable future. But our own JC Cassis will be hosting our next Risk Live show in New York at caveat on September 25, and tickets for all of our live events are always at risk-show.com live. Now in a little bit, we're going to hear from Shannon M. Turner, but before that, a story from Lindsay Ames. Now, this goes back to when risk was in LA at the Nerd Mount Theater all the way back in 2013. And here's Lindsay now with a story we call the Jerk.

[Lindsay Ames]

My first hand job was stolen from me. Carly Schneider. It was summer camp atikva. I was 14 years old. I had my first foray into finger banging the year before, and I was really ready, really ready to give my first handy, you know, get in there. I think it's safe to say I know my way around a dick. I had really, really high hopes, you know, in squeezing the toothpaste. You know, summer camp and Jewish camp are very interesting things. Jewish camp is in the movies for a reason, because it's this fantastic place where you don't have to get in the water if you don't want to. Everyone has asthma. Ugly people get to hook up with other people as if they were a part of the normal human race. And I was no different. I was heinous. I looked like Harry Potter had smoked a lot of crack. My eyes were too big for my head. My head was too big for my body. I was so flat that my tits were practically coming out my back. And I just had this really pointy, pointy vagina. Just really, really sharp, you know? And I was horny. I, like, I was born horny. I used to hump my pillow a lot. Some of my biggest crushes at the time. Corey Hart. There was a very, very popular Canadian singer named Gowen. He sang this song, strange Animal, which I identified with a lot because I felt like, yeah, I'm a strange animal. And probably my most prolific and important crush. Bumblebee Transformer. For real? Yes. It was a cartoon. I'm pretty sure it was the voice, I think. I don't know. Loved him, and I was ready. I mean, I had had some interesting sexual experiences at camp before. I remember when I was seven, I saw my first dink. It belonged to this guy, Pedro. He was a Mexican, Jewish, and he did this awesome flashlight dance for me. Love that guy. He was great. So for me, it was really, really exciting because this was the summer that the hottest guy in camp wanted to hook up with me. I don't know if it was a dare. It might have been. I'm not sure if he just wanted to hook up with, like, every single girl at camp. And, like, I was, like, one of the chicks on the list. It could have been a. She's all that moment, however, there were no musical montages, there was no prom, and I definitely did not look better at the end of it. So I was so excited. I was freaking out because it was movie night that night and we were gonna watch Stand By Me and I freaked out. Like, I ran to my best friend, Carly. Best friend. And I was like, he wants to hook up with me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

He wants to hook up with me.

[Lindsay Ames]

And she was really, really excited for me as well. And Carly was this, like, beautiful girl. Huge boobs, blond hair, green eyes, and she had, like, so much pubic hair. I had one, so that was something. And I can tell you I used a shit ton of moisturizer the night before. Like, I seriously was like, I'm gonna.

[Shannon M. Turner]

Give him the best.

[Lindsay Ames]

Oh, maybe he wanted to hook up with me because I did give him a massage the night before. And he probably saw that I had very strong, nimble fingers. So that's probably what it was. So I'd been nervous all day and it was time for the movies to start. We all went into the olam, and the olam was like this giant place. It was like four times the size of this. And it was like there was like 400 campers. So it was a very intimate affair. It was really exciting. He had his sleeping bag on the bottom, and then my sleeping bag was on the top, and I got in and he got in and then Carly walked by and was like, he guys, like, hey, Carly. She's like, can I get in?

[Shannon M. Turner]

What?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Sure.

[Shannon M. Turner]

Wait, what?

[Lindsay Ames]

What?

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, sure. Okay.

[Lindsay Ames]

So she gets in the sleeping bag and I'm like, well, maybe. Maybe this isn't cockblockery. Maybe this is her supporting me. She wants to make sure I do everything right. And if I come up across anything, she could, like, whisper what to do. I don't know. At this point, trying to keep my mind, like on the task at hand. So my head is on his chest, her head is on his chest. But I get the side with his heartbeat. His, like, big, beautiful heartbeat. And here's the thing. This guy was amazing, okay? He didn't even look Jewish. Okay? He just. He was. He was tall and fair haired, South African. He was super excited. Exotic. His name was Tony Smith. He didn't even have a Jewish name. So I was like, this is it.

[Kevin Allison]

So.

[Lindsay Ames]

So I, like, can hear his big, beautiful heart. And I think it was about the time that the pie eating contest happened that I started to get brave and I started, like, rubbing his chest because my sister taught me about foreplay.

[Shannon M. Turner]

And.

[Lindsay Ames]

I kind of move to like his solar plexus, kind of get to the belly button. And then I start to go down and I see movement, but it's not movement coming from my hand. It's movement coming from Carly's hand.

[Ryan Reynolds]

What the.

[Lindsay Ames]

What's she ba boom. What's he.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Boom boom.

[Lindsay Ames]

She's not.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Boom boom. What the fuck?

[Kevin Allison]

Boom boom.

[Shannon M. Turner]

And then.

[Lindsay Ames]

This fucking grunt from Tony. And as he came, he went. I laid there just kind of shell shocked. And it was all going through my mind and I was watching the movie screen and people were puking BlackBerry pie. And like I wanted to be puking BlackBerry pie. It was over. There was no hope for me. My hand job was gone. I mean, what do you do? So I went to the tent that night and I like cried myself to sleep, I guess. Carly had a really great sleep. And the next day I saw Tony and I ran up to him and I jumped on his back and I gave him the biggest fucking hickey you have ever seen in your entire life. Obviously not romantic. I did this because parents were coming to visit the next day. And when his parents saw it, they were so grossed out by it, they grounded him for a month when he was getting back from camp. And when he told them that it was me that did it, they looked over and they saw this like scraggly Anne Frank looking girl. And they were like, no fucking way. And he remained grounded. Carly got the clap the next year. She then is now married and has kids, so she's fine. And as for me, later on that summer, I did give my firsthand job. It was behind the showers to Jamie Moncars. And he came everywhere. Thank you.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Okay. Lego my Eggo.

[Lindsay Ames]

Lego my Eggo. Lego my Eggo, please.

[Shannon M. Turner]

We'll be right back. When you hear Lululemon, you probably think.

[Lindsay Ames]

Of aligned yoga pants.

[Shannon M. Turner]

Weightlessly soft, like you're wearing next to nothing.

[Lindsay Ames]

That's why you see them in class, at the grocery store and in the park. But did you know about skirts with built in liner shorts so you can still jump for the Frisbee and tanks and bodysuits. With the line's iconic stretch, you won't.

[Kevin Allison]

Want to take it off.

[Lindsay Ames]

And with endless style options, you don't.

[Shannon M. Turner]

Have to shop in store or [e-mail].

[Kevin Allison]

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[Shannon M. Turner]

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[Kevin Allison]

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[Shannon M. Turner]

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[Kevin Allison]

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[Shannon M. Turner]

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[Kevin Allison]

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[Shannon M. Turner]

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[Kevin Allison]

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[Ryan Reynolds]

When I find myself in times of trouble Mother Mary comes to me Speaking words of wisdom let it be and in my outer darkness she is standing right in front of me Speaking words of wisdom Wisdom let it be Let it be Let it be Let it be Let it be Whisper words of wisdom Let it be.

[Kevin Allison]

This is Risk. This is the Beatles behind me now. And why this song? Well, we just heard Lindsay Ames tell a story about a handjob. And this song was the number one song listed in an article we found online called 15 Songs yous Didn't Know Were About Getting a Handjob in an Elevator. Also on the list, Beethoven's Ninth Symphony Every Day by Buddy Holly and Amish paradise by Weird Al Yankovic. Meanwhile, you can find Lindsay Ames online@lindsay ames.com now folks, for our Patreon supporters, I'm going to be recording a new check in soon and to say, to say the very least, there's a lot on my mind and heart. But in the meantime, there's a brand new bonus story over there. It is by Hallie Kanter and it's also about camp. Sounds a little bit like this.

[Lindsay Ames]

What happened was I came outside with my plastic cup of pee to where all the other girls were in the bunk and I said, see, it's not hard. I just did it.

[Kevin Allison]

There is that and so much [e-mail] risk we very, very much need the financial support of our listeners right now. And we are so very grateful for it too. And don't forget, I'm teaching two new online storytelling workshops, one starting in July, another in August. People are just loving these Workshops. And I'm so moved. I find them so helpful, too. All the laughter and tears and encouragement and creative fun we have together. So if you'd like to jump in on one, email me at kevinriskdashow.com and I'll tell you all about it. Next, we're going to hear from Shannon M. Turner, who you can find at Story Muse on Instagram. Here's Shannon now with a story we call tomfoolery.

[Shannon M. Turner]

Now, I don't know about you, but I went to camp when I was growing up. I was one of those people for whom camp was like an operating system that got installed and then was updated every summer. I loved going to camp because, well, I was a Methodist preacher's kid, and that meant that we were possibly going to move every single year. And a lot of those years, we did move, but every summer I got to go back to camp. And I loved this camp in particular because I loved the joyful, playful nature of it. I loved the songs, the skip nights, definitely the storytelling, obviously. And I loved my favorite camp counselor. His. His name was Tom, and he was like the prototypical camp counselor. He led us up the mountain and down the rivers, and he played the guitar. He had this leather bracelet that he wore around his very tan wrist. And I could just sit and stare at that leather bracelet on that tan wrist as it went up and down and up and down for hours. Tom wasn't just the prototype of a camp counselor. He was also the prototype of a crush for me. He was my first major crush. And year after year, I would come back. I was growing older. I became a high schooler, which meant I was a counselor in training, a cit. And then eventually I became a fully fledged counselor, which was so exciting because now I could be a peer with Tom. Tom was like me in that he had also gotten that operating system installed. He came back year after year, and after he graduated from college, he had become a person who lived at camp all the time. So the first week, we had our staff training, which meant we had to go through a week just like what camp would be like. And so we were going to have our camp out, but it got rained out and everybody's hanging out in the lodge instead. And some people are over here playing Risk, and other people are raiding the fridge in the kitchen. And Tom is once again, oh, so casually in the corner playing his guitar. So I sidle up to him, pretending not to be interested, and I strike up a conversation as he's playing the Indigo Girls.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I've Seen like a bird. What pleasures the surface can bring.

[Shannon M. Turner]

Somewhere along in that conversation, we start talking about his cat. The cat's name was Guinevere. And I thought that was really interesting because I was an English major and I had just that year been studying Arthurian legend. And then Tom tells me that actually Guinevere had a brother whose name was Arthur. And I said, where's Arthur? And he then proceeded to tell me. When Arthur was a kitten, he became very sick. And I held him all night long as he passed from the earth. And then he looked up at me and he drilled me with his icy blue eyes, full of pain and. And sadness. And I felt like I melted inside. Like all of my insides just dropped down into my toes as I crossed over this line from little girl crush into grown up love. Now, something else I need to tell you about with camp is that everyone called me Cricket. It's not uncommon to have a camp nickname, but I loved being called Cricket. I loved it because, well, in the rest of my life, I didn't like myself. I had come to camp from my first year in college, where I had been ruthlessly bullied by my roommate, which was not unlike when I had been ruthlessly bullied all through middle school, which was also not unlike having been ruthlessly bullied by my father my whole life. But when I came to camp, I felt strong. I felt like this whole different person. I was fun. I knew all the stories, I could lead the songs, and Cricket just fit me. It was this symbol for being this other human. But also another reason why I loved having another identity is there was another Shannon there. Every year at camp, there was Shannon. Every junior high assembly, every senior high assembly, every resurrection weekend, there was Shannon and her flute. Shannon loved to play her flute. Every skit night, every talent show. If it had been today, I would have been able to call Shannon a frenemy. But back then, I just had to grin and bear it a few weeks into the summer. Walked into the lodge on a Friday afternoon. We're all hot and sweaty. It'd been a very hard week. And there, across the way, was Tom, which made my heart flutter, of course. But also there was Shannon. She went in to hug him, and she saw me, and she grinned at me over his shoulder. And right away, I knew that I had lost a battle in a war that had never been declared. I waited and I watched as their relationship became more intense. And this was so hard because as I'd been growing up, I had already watched Tom go through two other engagements that had fallen apart. The next summer I became the assistant director because I'm one of those people who folks tend to trust and give more responsibility in jobs. And Shannon also became an assistant director of day camp, which meant that they put us in this little RV out back behind the lodge. And Tom's room was right across the way, a little screened in porch behind the kitchen. And so he would come and hang out with us at night. We would sit up late talking. And I could see how bored Shannon was when we were talking about anything other than herself or whatever she wanted to talk about. But Tom and I had so much fun talking about music and politics and just making up jokes. Eventually it got worse. Tom gave her a kayak, which is like the camp version of a ring. And then he gave her a real ring, but in the background, especially that summer when we were living together, Shannon was trash talking him. I remember her flopping back on the bed in that RV and saying, I just don't know if I can live with a guy who just wants to be at camp all the time. I couldn't believe that she would be so callous about living my dream. So of course, because she didn't value him, it was never going to work out. Eventually, by the time we were about to graduate from college, she gave back the kayak and the ring. And I knew it wasn't quite time for me to have hope. But in my heart, a little spark got a little bit brighter. But in the meantime, like I said, I graduated from college. All of my friends had gone on to grad school, but I was out of money and ambition after having just gotten an English degree. But there was no English factory. I couldn't go make English. And so at the end of that last summer after college, to my great delight, the folks who ran the camp invited me to move in and help run the retreat center. I could become full time hospitality. And I thought this was a great idea because, well, at the end of the day, it was positioning me to be there when Tom would come around to the life plan, that we should become married and run the camp together and sit in the rocking and watch the children play. But what I didn't factor into this plan is that at the end of the summer, the kids go away, the songs go away, skid nights go away, and camp just becomes this very cold, dark, lonely place. So I knocked around in the craft cabin making candles, got a job in the video store so I could bring back piles of videos, mostly the X Files, did a little dinner theater, and eventually it was spring and then it was summer. And the kids came back, songs came back, skitdites came back, and Tom came back. But you know what? So did Andy. Andy was the. This new character who I'd never seen before. And Andy was a Methodist preacher's kid, just like me. Now, I don't know if you've heard about preacher's kids. There's a lot of lore. There's this spectrum. On one side you've got the goody two shoes Bible thumpers, and on the other side you've got the woo boy. Lock up your sons and daughters. Here we go. That's a hellion. And I was somewhere in the middle of all that. I definitely had some good times in college, but I was mostly being the DD to everybody else's wild abandon. Andy had definitely been sent to camp that summer because he had done something very wrong. And he was there to work off his penance by washing dishes in the kitchen all summer long. He was dark and sarcastic and sardonic, and he was. Was the perfect foil for all of my hopey floaty feelings about Tom. Right away, we were at it. We were picking each other all the time. We would debate everything from politics to whether or not irregardless was a word. And somewhere along the way, I confided to Andy how I felt about Tom, which, if you're unfamiliar with crushes, is kind of how they work. I mean, this is true for little kids, but when crush is also the only way you know how to do romance in adult life, all you can do is find a person to tell your secret so you can keep the energy of the crush going. And that's what I did with Angie. And he loved it. We talked about it night and day. We just stirred it like compost. So in my job as the assistant director at the camp, I would have to go to town frequently to buy baked potatoes and band aids. And pretty quickly, Andy declared to me that he was going to town with me. He mostly said it was because he wanted to get. Get away from the screaming little children and so he could smoke off of campus. But eventually I had to kind of wonder if Andy just liked spending time with me. So one night deep in the summer, we get into the car as we're going back from the grocery store and look up, and the mountain that the camp is on just disappears behind a wall of clouds. It's like the nothingness from the Neverending Story had just come and taken the mountain away. And before we know it, we're having to Drive through this violent summer storm. Trees are going sideways. And then I look up and there's this ball of light in the tree, like we're being sent a message from God. And then I realize actually what it is, is that the tree has been struck by lightning. And then it topples over. Which means. Which means that we have to skid to a halt. And Andy and I ditch the car with all the groceries and supplies in and we run up to the retreat center. Our clothes are soaking wet. We come colliding through the door. And I feel Andy's body collide into mine as I think he's about to embrace me. But I am not ready for this. So I take off running down the hallway. I go up to the my room and I get Andy some dry clothes and towels. I get myself some dry clothes. We sit down in the retreat center, in the lounge, on this couch, so far apart from each other. It was like you could have built the Great Wall of China between us. I mean, the tension was so thick at this point, you could have cut it with a chainsaw, which was what they were outside trying to cut down the tree to get us back up the camp road with. We sat there and watched the X Files. So who did you take off to.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Get stuck with this detail?

[Shannon M. Turner]

I don't know if you're familiar, but it's a show about aliens. Yes, but also sexual tension and unrequited love.

[Lindsay Ames]

But you were sent to spy on me.

[Shannon M. Turner]

Eventually the door bursts open and in walks Tom. He looks back and forth between us and I feel like I am the child version of myself that used to have Tom as a camp counselor. Like I've been caught doing something that I don't know exactly what. Andy and I get in the car and have the Most awkward, silent 90 second drive back up the road to the lodge where we unload the groceries. And then I sit down in the cafeteria on a folding metal chair to write a note to my secret pals. The only thing I can think to do in this moment is sort of decompress. And Andy comes in, sits down, taking a metal chair and swinging it around backwards, crosses his arms, looks at me and says, Tom says he loves fucking in the rain. At that point point I was just one long strung out nerve. Because all this conversation with Andy, all of this tension, all of this way that having these feelings for Tom over these years had started to whip me up into such a frenzy. I was sitting up late at night in those rocking chairs that I had always imagined Tom and I Sitting in. And I was crying these deep, racking tears, like I was imagining my unborn children marching up the camp trail in front of me. So when Andy said this to me in a way that I know he was trying to get my goat, I felt like I broke inside. I stood up so fast my metal folding chair went clunk and toppled over on the concrete floor behind me. And I stomped out of the room, down to my car, drove down to the retreat center, peeled off all of my clothes, and lay in bed shivering. But then I heard Andy in his car spin gravel as he drove down the camp road, park in front of the retreat center, stomp up to my room, bang on my door. I got up, put my clothes on as fast as possible, opened the door, and there we stood, staring each other like two gunslingers in a spaghetti western. It was about to go down, but then the door of the retreat center swung open again. And in comes piling 15 screws, screaming snot nosed little girls.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Miss Cricket. Miss Cricket. I'm so scared. I would have called my mom. I want to go home.

[Shannon M. Turner]

There are so many times in my life when I have chosen responsibility over curiosity, desire, possibility, and that moment is in the top three. So a few weeks later, it's almost the end of summer, and Andy and I are flying down the camp road once again, and we're talking about it all once again. And I said, I just wish Tom would be, like, in the romance novels. He would turn to me and he would finally understand, and he would be like, yes, you. I choose you. I wish he could somehow just. No. And Andy was finally over it. He said, you think Tom doesn't know how you feel about him? And I said, what do you mean? And he said, he knows. And right at that moment, we flew around this huge curve in the camp road, and there was this giant flock of chickens. Andy, he took one look at the chickens, and he took one look at me, and he knew I was probably about to slam on the brakes and maybe flip the car. So he laid his hand fervently on my arm and said, hit the chickens, Cricket. You hit those chickens. Now, people will say that chickens can't fly, but they could fly a little bit, and they just parted like the rock sea of chickens. I let the car coast over and idle on the side. I mean, I had to sit there for a moment so I could take it all in. My legs were shaking with adrenaline as it left my body. I had to take in this near catastrophe. But also, Tom knew he'd always known Nothing had changed. But everything had changed. And so a couple weeks later, when camp was over, I packed up my whole life in that little car. And I moved to a new town in a new state. And I started a new adventure. I installed a new operating system, one that was just for me.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm trying to tell you something about my life. Maybe forgive me Inside between black and white and the best thing you ever done for me Used to help me take my life less seriously it's only life after all. Yeah well darkness has a hunger that's insatiable and lightness has a hunger call that's hard to hear now Wrap my fear around me like a blanket I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it I'm crawling on your shores I went to the doctor I went to the mountains I looked to the children I drank from the fountains there's, there's more than one answer to these questions Pointing me in a crooked line and the less I seek my source for some definitive Closer I am the higher closer I am the fire this.

[Kevin Allison]

Is risk this is the Indigo Girls behind me now. And we just heard from Shannon M. Turner. Shannon has a new full length show called Teapot Existential Angst and the Search for Purpose at the dawn of the Millennium, which just debuted at the Atlanta Fringe Festival and is going on tour. Look that [e-mail] folks, we're gonna set a date very soon for a what's yous Story Curated social event. We've had so much success with what's yous Story that for the first time ever, we'll be doing this one online. It's a fun, low pressure way to meet people, be social, share fun stories. So stay tuned for more about that soon and for a more substantial online storytelling experience. Don't forget my new eight week online storytelling workshops. One starting on July 23rd, one starting on August 17th. People in the one that just ended said such beautiful things. A student named Brett said it was a powerful transformational experience for me. Marianne said I was blown away by the openness and support shared. And Vishwas said, I found this course so helpful in getting my confidence back. So email me at kevinrisk-show.com if you'd like to know more. Folks, on Wednesday we have a conversation style story that Ray Christian told to me that is a real treat you're not gonna want to miss. It's always great to have Ray back on the show. And folks, today's the day. Take a risk.

[Ryan Reynolds]

There's more than one answer to these questions pointing me in a crooked line and the less I seek my source More some definitive Closer I am to find Closer I am to find Closer I am.