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- [00:00]
Cindy Freeman
On this episode of Risk, you'll hear
- [00:03]
Sophia Javed
your mother in her with a crooked donkey.
- [00:11]
Heather Minter
Oh, my bruh, it's not that deep.
- [00:14]
Cindy Freeman
Oh, okay. But you'll also hear me, Cindy Freeman. I am Risk's casting director and your guest host for this show where people tell true stories they thought they'd never dare to share.
- [00:28]
Heather Minter
Risk.
- [00:33]
Benjamin Boster
Hey, sweetie. Your mother showed me this Carvana thing for selling the car. I'm gonna give it a try. Wish me luck. Me again. I put in the license plate. It gave me an offer.
- [00:42]
Heather Minter
Unbelievable.
- [00:44]
Benjamin Boster
Okay, I accepted the offer. They're picking it up Tuesday from the driveway. I haven't even left my chair. It's done. The car is gone. I'm holding a check anyway. Carvana.
- [00:54]
Sleepy Podcast Host
Give it a whirl.
- [00:55]
Benjamin Boster
Love ya.
- [00:56]
Heather Minter
So good you'll want to leave a voicemail about it. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pickup fees may app, study and play
- [01:04]
Jonathan Goldstein
come together on a Windows 11 PC and for a limited time, college students get the best of both worlds. Get the unreal college deal everything you need to study and play with select Windows 11 PCs. Eligible students get a year of Microsoft 365 Premium and a year of Xbox Game Pass ultimate with a custom color Xbox wireless controller. Learn more@windows.com studentoffer while supplies last ends June 30 terms@ aka mscollegepc the right window treatments change everything. Your sleep, your privacy, the way every room looks and feels. @blinds.com, we've spent 30 years making it surprisingly simple to get exactly what your home needs. We've covered over 25 million windows and have 50,000 five star reviews to prove we deliver. Whether you DIY it or want a pro to handle everything from measure to install, we have you covered. Real design professionals, free samples, zero pressure right now. Get up to 50% off with minimum purchase plus get a free professional measure@blinds.com rules and restrictions apply.
- [02:06]
Benjamin Boster
Welcome to the I Can't Sleep Podcast with Benjamin Boster. If you're tired of sleepless nights, you'll love the I Can't Sleep podcast. I help quiet your mind by reading
- [02:22]
Cindy Freeman
random articles from across the web to bore you to sleep with my soothing voice.
- [02:29]
Benjamin Boster
Each episode provides provides enough interesting content
- [02:31]
Cindy Freeman
to hold your attention and then your
- [02:34]
Benjamin Boster
mind lets you drift off. Find it wherever you get your podcasts. That's I Can't Sleep with Benjamin Boster.
- [03:00]
Heather Minter
Get a dreamer
- [03:07]
Sophia Javed
don't ask how all
- [03:13]
Cindy Freeman
right folks, this is Keno Motel we're hearing with an opening track from their Visions album, Kino Motel sent us A bunch of their music to play on Risk. Thank you, Kino Motel. And if you want to hear perhaps your music on Risk, please send it to us. Just go to risk-show.com music to find out how all that works. So this episode is called Captives, and we're going to start things off with a story by Sophia Javed that she told when we took the show live to D.C. last June. So, just a heads up, the story takes place in Guantanamo Bay, a place where torture has been a part of everyday life for many, many years for detainees. That said, we're calling the story 357 demands to be heard.
- [04:16]
Sophia Javed
It's 2006, and I'm at my day job at Guantanamo Bay. Yep, that one. That Guantanamo Bay. I'm a few months into my gig as a translator and interpreter at this prison that I know has already become a dark, dark stain in our country's history and reputation. But I'm 26 years old, and I'm taking this job very seriously because I've convinced myself that I've come here to provide a service to the prisoners. I don't know if these guys have done bad things, but our military has been interrogating them for four years now, and they don't seem to know either. I do believe, however, that the men in this prison deserve to speak with someone who understands them, someone who knows their languages, their cultures. At least that's what I tell myself when I accept my paychecks. Also, I'm 26, and I still believe that men deserve things. Now, you might look at me and think, oh, you're Pakistani. You must have been hired to work in Urdu. Sure, that's what everyone at Guantanamo thought, too, when I first showed up. And yes, I do speak Urdu, and I've also studied Arabic for several years. But I'm not hired for any of those languages. I've been hired to work in Uzbek and Russian. And usually when I tell people that, they're like, wow, Sophia, that's amazing. What is Uzbek? And why do you speak Russian? Well, a few years prior, I had been living in a remote desert village in the former Soviet Central Asian republic of Uzbekistan. This is a country that shares a small border with Afghanistan, and I lived in that village for three years. It was your typical quarter life crisis situation, By which I mean I had joined the Peace Corps, and my job as a Peace Corps volunteer was to teach English at the school in that village. And that was a job that I did very poorly. I did not know how to explain homophones and homonyms and the present perfect continuous tense. And I could never contain my laughter anytime. I had to teach a lesson on animals, okay? Because the school had these tattered old Soviet era textbooks for English, and every single unit on animals was all about pussies, asses, and cocks. It was an uncontrollable giggle fest every single time. And that was just me. I had joined the Peace Corps because I didn't know what to do after college. And as I was finishing my Peace Corps service, I still didn't know what to do. When I heard that the US Military was looking for American citizens who could speak Uzbek and Russian, I was like, oh, hey, hello, that's me. Why not? And I was quick to capitalize on that opportunity. Or as my friends put it, I went from Peace Corps to War Corps. And before I knew it, I found myself at Guantanamo Bay. So it's a hot, sticky morning on the island when I get summoned to the cell blocks because an officer has requested an Uzbek interpreter. Now, these particular cell blocks are part of an outdoor camp that is completely surrounded by a perimeter of chain link fences. And these fences are completely covered in dark green tarps so that you can't see through them. And there's tons of barbed wire just on top of everything. And looming over the camp in every direction are many, many guard towers. And I'm in the camp now, and I'm walking on this gravelly path, and on either side of me are rows of cages. Okay, well, they called themselves. The vocabulary at Guantanamo is carefully crafted. Okay? It's not a prison. It's a detention center. The prisoners are detainees. The interrogations are interviews. If you're paid to speak another language, you're a linguist. And these cages are cells. And inside these cells are a bunch of brown men from a bunch of different countries. And they're all dressed in matching tan prison scrubs, and many of them have dark, scruffy beards per Islamic traditions. And it's an outdoor camp, right? So the thing is, these men can hear the waves of the Caribbean Sea all day and all night, but they never get to look at the water. And on their faces is just despair and frustration and disdain for their American captors who happen to be my bosses. And usually they would only send men to the cell block calls because usually when there was a cell block call, it meant that something kind of intense was maybe happening. The thing is, after four years of being locked up, the men in the prison, sometimes they would have good ish days where they could somehow tolerate their situation the best they could. Sometimes they would have very, very bad days where they just had to express their frustrations. Sometimes a cell block call meant that a detainee was expressing his frustration so much that the guards were about to assemble an irf. IRF stands for Emergency Reaction Force. That's what they called it when a group of guards would gather with riot gear and go to the cell, storm into the cell, forcibly subdue a detainee, maybe pin him to the ground with that riot shield, and then grab a limb and then haul him away to who knows where to do who knows what kind of bad things. I haven't seen any of those bad things, but I've seen the news. I know it's bad. And when there's a nerf situation, there's a lot of screaming and shouting of commands, right? And that's why they need a linguist to translate those shouts, those commands. And that's why they usually send men, because can you imagine me, a five foot, nothing, 26 year old brown woman, shouting commands at brown men in cages? Things like get down on the ground now and put your hands on your head. It would be pretty ridiculous. But there is no male Uzbek speaker on the island. So here I am, walking through the cell blocks and just praying that I'm not about to be a part of an earth situation. All I can do is keep my eyes on the ground and I pick up my pace and I just keep walking. And I can hear the commotion before I even get there. And when I arrive at the cell, I take in the scene. On the inside of the cell is detainee number 357. He's a young man in his early 20s. He's from Uzbekistan, and most likely he found himself across the border in Afghanistan just at the wrong time. And he's angry. He's having a bad, bad day. And he's pacing furiously and he's ranting and raving in Uzbek tort. Yil bolde yita de sis kim sezeh shaklar. And on the outside of cell is a blond haired, blue eyed, clean shaven American soldier in a desert camo uniform. And he's also very young. This kid can't be much older than 18. But now he's a prison guard and he's assigned to babysit these guys who he only knows as the bad guys. Okay, he doesn't know what they've done either, but he knows that there must be some reason for why they're in these cages. So here are two young men from opposite sides of the planet who, through very different circumstances, both ended up in this same horrible place. And now there's also me. I'm only a few years older than these two, and now I'm supposed to help them get through whatever is happening here. Am I even able to do that? What if I mess up? What if I say something wrong, mistranslate something? What if I make a mistake and that Uzbek kid gets irfed or worse? That's not what I came here for. I'm not trained in mediation or de escalation or anything like that. Hell, I'm not even trained in translation. The only training I got when I started this job was from another linguist who said, sophia. Just translate the words that are spoken. Don't add anything, don't explain anything. Don't have any side conversations with the detainees. You don't want to be seen as a sympathizer. But 357 is in a rage now, and now he's spewing insults in Russian, okay? And let me tell you, Russian cursing is very colorful and very specific. He's all, yob tvayum matve pisduy vzopu krivim oslinim khuyim sbaradavkami navoznim gavnom.
- [14:43]
Cindy Freeman
Gross.
- [14:46]
Sophia Javed
Okay? So gross, so disgusting, so nasty, in fact, that now I'm thinking, if I translate accurately, if I translate correctly, will that get him in trouble? I don't know what to do, okay? But the guard. I look at the guard, and he's not phased at all. He is standing firm, feet planted, arms tightly crossed, and he's glaring right into the cell at 3, 5, 7. And without even turning to look at me, he says, he's cussing me out, ain't he? And then I'm like, oh, thank goodness. This guard, he gets it. He sees what's going on. Maybe I don't have to say these specific disgusting words. So I just nod and I go, yep, he's cussing you out. But here's the thing. In four years, the detainees have also all learned a bit of English from each other, from the guards. And so 357, here's our little exchange. And he stops everything. He stops ranting. He stops pacing. He stops abruptly, and he marches right up to the cell bars. And he looks at me straight in the eyes, and he says to me in Uzbek, no, you tell him. You tell him what I'm saying. Every single word. You tell him. Well, it's my job to translate. So that's what I do. Every word. Well, okay. Well, he would like you to fuck your mother in her pussy and her ass with a, let's see, crooked donkey cock that is covered in warts and manure and shit. And as I'm saying these words, I can't help but think, pussy, ass, and cock. This kid would have loved my English lessons. But I watched the guard process these words right, and he goes from confusion to disgust to an almost delighted appreciation for the creativity of these insults. And he just looks at the detainee and he goes, roger that, buddy, Which I translate as, okay, my friend. 357 opens his mouth to speak again, and I brace myself. I brace myself for more colorfully repulsive suggestions for what this guard can do with his mother. But he's calmer now, and he takes a breath, and he speaks quietly this time. He says, I need new flip flops. Will you give me flip flops? We look at 357's feet. His flip flops are falling apart. That's what this whole rant was about. We went from fuck your mom with a shitcock to can I get some flip flops? And the guard just scoffs.
- [18:39]
Heather Minter
He goes.
- [18:40]
Sophia Javed
And he goes, sure. And he walks away. And I exhale and I leave, too. And I'm walking back to my housing on the base, and I'm just feeling relieved and maybe a little bit satisfied. I can't do anything to help this young man get out of this cage, but I did my job, and I hope that I've helped him at least feel heard and understood. And I hope that a new pair of cheap plastic sandals will give him back even the slightest bit of dignity in this impossibly hopeless situation. Thank you,
- [19:45]
Benjamin Boster
Folks. In my 40s and 50s, one of my biggest disappointments has been that no one ever really taught me about skin care. I just come from a generation of Midwestern men who were really out of the loop for decades. So in recent years, I have experimented with a gazillion skincare products. But I found it's just so overwhelming. There's so many different things I've tried that left me saying, okay, is this doing anything? You know, there's a lot of wrinkles now, and the dullness and looseness and the dark circles and bags under the eyes. It stresses me out. So I have to say I'm also genuinely grateful that our sponsor, Will One Skin, sent me their OS1 peptide products for the face and under eye treatment. I'm actually seeing and feeling an unmistakable difference. My skin is brighter and it's tighter, it's softer, it's not greasy and even the under eye, the tired, dark, baggy stuff is fading away. The thing is, as we age, some skin cells stop functioning the way they should. Longevity scientists call them zombie cells. And One Skin's OS1 peptide was specifically engineered to address those doing something most skin care was never built to do. Their results are backed by four peer review clinical studies, over 10,000 five star reviews, and it was all born from over a decade of longevity research. OneSkin's OS1 peptide is proven to target the visible signs of aging, helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try one skin skin with 15 off using the code R I S K@OnSkin.co risk. That's 15 off OnSkin Co with the code risk. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you.
- [22:28]
Jonathan Goldstein
I'm Jonathan Goldstein, and this spring, Heavyweight revisits some favorite episodes.
- [22:33]
Heather Minter
Yeah, I think I want to know
- [22:35]
Cindy Freeman
why she made my life so difficult
- [22:37]
Heather Minter
if she had some kind of thing against me.
- [22:40]
Jonathan Goldstein
Plus, we check back in with our guests to see what's changed in the years since.
- [22:45]
Heather Minter
How long has it been?
- [22:46]
Cindy Freeman
Things have transpired? Yeah, the last 10 years, everything's changed.
- [22:51]
Jonathan Goldstein
New updates begin March 12th. Listen to heavyweight Wherever you get your podcasts. When you listen to Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone, the comedy podcast, you learn stuff.
- [23:02]
Heather Minter
I've been learning to throw a boomerang
- [23:04]
Cindy Freeman
because this is the kind of thing
- [23:05]
Heather Minter
that really gets the listeners engaged.
- [23:07]
Jonathan Goldstein
You know, interviews with people who will make you smarter.
- [23:10]
Benjamin Boster
Does the amount that you learn protect you from cognitive decline? Paula, don't try to get you can
- [23:18]
Cindy Freeman
people just listen to the show? Can't they just enjoy a delightful treehouse full of information? And I think I'm bleeding.
- [23:24]
Jonathan Goldstein
Join us and be a nobody.
- [23:27]
Sleepy Podcast Host
Hey, do you have trouble sleeping? Then maybe you should check out the Sleepy podcast. It's a show where I read old books in the public domain to help you get to sleep. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was the age of wisdom. Classic stories like A Tale of Two Cities, Pride and Prejudice, Winnie the Pooh, stories that are great for kids and adults alike. So whether you have a tough time snoozing or just like a good bedtime story, fluff up the cool side of your pillow and tune into Sleepy. Unless you're driving, then please don't listen to Sleepy. Find Sleepy Wherever you get your podcasts, new episodes every Sunday. Sweet dreams,
- [24:10]
Heather Minter
Sam.
- [24:36]
Cindy Freeman
Hey, we're back. This is Cindy again. And this is more Kino Hotel. But I do want to say I'm so glad that she moved on from that job. I can't even imagine going from Peace Corps to that dystopian life. I mean, what save the world? What the. You know, the thing that strikes me on that story is the cruelty, which is just. It seems to be such a trend in these strange times. My dad was a World War II veteran. He was stationed in New Jersey. There were German prisoners of war there. And he did tell stories about befriending some of them, even though he was a Jewish soldier. There was actually, and I've read on this, just a little, but something a rabbit hole. I want to go further down at some point. There was a secret, top secret program called the Intellectual Diversion Program. And from what I've read, they shared banned books with German soldiers. They had German intellectuals writing articles. The goal was not to defeat and demoralize. The goal was to deprogram. And granted, yeah, it was propaganda. And we all have thoughts about propaganda. I know that. But it was done with kindness. And cruelty can only lead to rage and hatred. So the question is, why was it okay to deprogram the Nazis and make friends with them? And what is going on now? Is this, Is this racism? Is this racism? Religious intolerance? Is this something more? And is it something else? And this is not a rhetorical question. I am curious. I want to know why on earth, if we know that cruelty simply breeds fear and enemies and hatred, why is it supported? Anyway, if you have any thoughts on it not rhetorical, please let us know. You can comment on our social media or you can send us an email@kevanadris-show.com and there was so many wonderful things about that story. You don't have to just answer my questions. If you have any thoughts on the fabulous storytelling skills and just sort of the life journey for Sophia, please, please, please reach out and let us know. We'd love to hear from you, Sophia. So what is she up to now? She is a comedian and the co host of Dance of Joy, a Picture Perfect Strangers rewatch podcast, which I imagine is something you didn't realize you needed until now and now you know you need that. You can find her online@saviajavid.com which is s O F I A J a v e d.com or on the socials at Sophia Javed or on Facebook. Look up Sophia Javed comedy folks, you know Risk. Risk is inherently an expensive operation and we regularly struggle to break even. So if you want to help keep our show alive, and we hope you do, please consider joining our Patreon. One of our Patreon patrons, Steve, sent us this lovely note with his contribution to help keep Risk running. He wrote, I discovered risk in 2023 during the darkest period of my life. Someday I'll tell that story. It's run the gamut of lifebuoy to comfortable companion to pleasant distraction to source of side splitting joy. I hope my support will enable the team to continue to provide this utterly unique content. Steve, two things for you. For one, thank you very much. Your support really helped keep us going. That also goes out to both Nadia Ritchie and Nicole Salon, who are both now supporting us on patreon at the 25amonth level. You guys are incredible and you're the only reason we've managed to keep going this long. Plus we genuinely love hearing from y'.
- [28:30]
Benjamin Boster
All.
- [28:31]
Cindy Freeman
And two Steve, I said there is two. As the casting director of Risk, I am usually the first person to read those pitches. And Steve, I am going to keep my eyes peeled in case you decide that now is the time to take that risk and share that story that you promised someday you would. And now it's been said on the podcast. So maybe today is the day. Anyway, the rest of you can join us at Patreon and get nearly 300 bonus stories, an ad free episode feed. You can watch our live shows and so much more. All of this@patreon.com risk or you can send us a one time donation if you'd like at paypal me riskshow or through zell@kevinrisk-show.com Next up is a story from Heather Minter, another one recorded at that same show in D.C. last June. And just so you know, that story you're about to hear will touch on domestic and emotional violence towards both women and children. So without further ado, here is Heather with a story we call Lost. Lost and Lost got you walking by
- [29:45]
Benjamin Boster
them train tracks thinking about all their former mishaps.
- [30:04]
Heather Minter
My teenage daughter had to interview me about parenting for health class recently and per usual I took it way too seriously and was giving very thoughtful answers until she told me bruh. It's not that deep, but it gave me a chance to really articulate the intention that I have put into parenting. I wanted to be a parent since the time I was really little and I always wanted to create a home that was full of love and belonging. I wanted to have a place that all the kids wanted to come over and felt safe and unafraid to share themselves. And it is like that their friends do come over, they bring their guitars and they play music and there's laughter and dancing and we have this place that feels really safe. And that's what I always wanted. I was part of a family of six. I have an older brother and sister who are 10 and 11 years older than me and a little brother. And in addition to being a nuclear family, we were also part of a large church family. We were evangelical fundamentalists and my uncle was the pastor of the church and my parents were Bible study leaders. We did potlucks and church events all the time. It was the fabric of our existence. But being evangelical fundamentalists meant that we believed very strongly that you have a sin nature and you need Jesus and his salvation and God's love to get to heaven. And then we also believed that you need to take that good news and go around the world and tell people. So when I was six, my parents put that into action and we began three years of mission training that culminated in leaving to go to Papua New Guinea. I was nine and my little brother was seven. And we left my older brother and sister in the United States and we moved to Papua New Guinea. 40 hour flight to get there. My parents had prepared us for what we were going through and we understood that in order for people to hear the gospel of Jesus, it was going to require sacrifice. Our family was going to do this. We were sacrificing our lives and they prepared us for it. That, you know, part of the sacrifice was that my brother and I were going to spend half of our time in boarding school and then part of the time with them in the tribe where they were going to live. So we were prepared, you know, for getting there and going through this. So we go 40 hours to Papua New guinea and we get there and we get to meet our dorm parents. And they were family style dorms. So one set of parents would take care of between 15 and 18 kids. And we met Uncle Mike and Annie Lane. We met our dorm brothers and sisters and teachers and it was really exciting. We were prepared for this like incredible adventure because my parents and said boarding school's gonna be hard, but you're gonna get to live with all your friends. And then on your breaks you'll get to come home and live in the tribe and have this incredible adventure. So a week after we got there, my parents left to study Melanesian pidgin. And then eventually move in with the Inadu people along the Salome river in the East Sepik province of Papua New Guinea. And they weren't wrong. It was an adventure. I had two roommates and like sisters, we fought and we had fun adventures together. The school was on the headquarter property for the mission organization in Papua New guinea. And it was this big property and we kind of just could roam around and do whatever we wanted to a certain degree. We were always barefoot, playing in the rain. We'd pick guavas and passion fruit and climb trees. And it was fun getting to live with our friends, but it was also hard. We were very homesick. The first term was three months long, and we could only talk to our parents once a week for 10 minutes over the mission radio frequency. And that was really challenging. But we knew we were going to get to see our parents. And so after three months, we got to go with them for a few weeks. And this is when we got to move into the village. The men had already gone ahead and started building houses, but this was a trip where the women and children were going to get to go. So we flew into another village, the Bisorio tribe that had already built an airstrip. And then we took a nine hour boat ride into the village where we lived. And that was thrilling and so exciting to be going down this river and going to this place that, you know, we couldn't even imagine. And it was great. We lived on this river. We didn't have electricity or indoor plumbing, so we had to bathe in the river. And it was so exciting. We played with the village kids and I loved it. My mom tried to make it really special and make our favorite food as much as she could with the limited supplies we had. Then our break came to an end and it was time to go back to school. And we switched dorms, which was very typical. Each year we'd live with a different family, and this family was quite different. Uncle Rob and Aunt Jane ran a tight ship. Uncle Rob was volatile, cruel and violent. It was a really scary environment to live in. And if you didn't align with what he wanted and the way he wanted things to be, you were in serious trouble. And I did not fit what he wanted. I didn't even walk properly. He would make me practice walking. He didn't like that my feet were stained from playing outside, so he would stand over me while I scrubbed my feet with wire brushes. They didn't like that I had to sleep with a doll that I'd slept with Since I was little. So they took it away from me and put it in a box above my closet. It was horrible. I was scared all the time. But my parents came out in the middle of the term to visit for a week, and we were so excited because we got a little bit of break from the storm and we got to stay with my parents in the guest house. And it was such a relief to get a respite from this horrible environment. Unfortunately, while they were there, I got malaria. If you've never had malaria, it's really bad. You know, it can go to your brain and kill you. It can be chloroquine resistant and give you hallucinations. Bare minimum, though, you've got an insane fever and you're shaking and delirious and incredibly fatigued. And I was so sick. But the mission continues. And my parents had to leave, and I asked them to please stay, but they said there was no possibility. So they put us back in the dorm. And I remember lying in bed, and in addition to having the fever, I felt this just sickness in my stomach that Uncle Rob was going to have to take care of me while I was sick. And when my parents went to leave, I ran after them. I was standing in the hallway shaking and sobbing, please don't leave me. Please don't leave me with them. But my parents turned and walked away. And it was then that I really realized I had lost my family. I wasn't going to have them in my life. This was my life now. And that's when my faith became the most important thing for me. Jesus love was the thing that comforted me. I took my faith seriously. I studied the Bible. I learned theology. It was the fabric of my existence, and it was the thing that made everything make sense. That was the whole reason we were there, was to spread the good news of God's love. And I took that fervency and zeal for the Lord. When I came back to the United States to go to college, and I right away became on leadership of a Christian organization, I was really involved. I was speaking every week in front of 100 people. I was leading Bible studies At the same time. I was learning new information. I was learning about evolution. I was learning all kinds of different ways of thinking that I'd never been experiencing exposed to. And my faith was kind of coming apart. I was also. My mental health was going rapidly downhill, and I was struggling to make anything make sense. And suddenly I found myself dropping out from being president of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes to being catatonic and depressed and stoned on my couch and not even able to get to class. And I was hanging onto my faith with my fingernails. And one day I was sitting there and I was like, God, please give me a sign. Show me that you're real. And I looked around and there was nothing. There was no sign. And I realized that I lost my faith. That there was no God, there was no reason, and none of it made sense. And I dropped out of college and I lost all of my friends. Because when you're in a high control religion, nobody can make sense of it when you leave. I was alone. I felt like an empty plastic water bottle in the middle of the ocean. Just no direction, no meaning. Empty. Lost. And that's when I met Marco. And he was everything I needed. He was really funny and adventurous, and he was part of this big Mexican family that welcomed me in. And he was very structured in his life, and he knew what he thought. And he helped me get some structure in my life. He insisted that I get my finances in order, and he wanted me to go back to college and start a career. And he was guiding me into the ways that he felt things should be done. And he would have me clean his bathroom, and if I didn't do that right, he would have me clean it again. And this felt kind of awful, but kind of normal. And I really needed him. He used to joke that he was my only friend, but the control became greater. But I needed him so much that I stayed and we got married and we had three children. And then I witnessed as that control took over my kids, too. And I watched him be physically abusive to them. I watched the fear become the way of operating in our home. And the kids would beg me not to go out if I wanted to go out with friends. They would say, please don't leave us with him. He's so mean when you're not here. And I was afraid to leave because then they were going to have to spend time with him. And I was also terrified. I didn't know how to do life on my own. I didn't know how I was going to make ends meet. And he was always telling me that I was incapable. And when I did say I wanted to get out of it, he was like, what are you going to do? How are you going to make money? And then in the middle of 2023, we got into an argument about something I hadn't told him. And he was so livid. And he told me that I was evil and stupid, and something just snapped. And I was like, I have to get out. I can't let fear stand in my way. And so I found a place to live and I found an attorney. And lurching steps forward, I packed up our lives. And In December of 2023, the Kids and I moved out and started a new life. I lost my family, I lost my faith, and then I lost my fear. And when I lost that, I got the family that I always wanted.
- [42:59]
Cindy Freeman
Thank. You. Hey, this is Risk. I'm Cindy Freeman and this once in again is Kino Motel behind me. You can check out their music@kinomotel.bandcamp.com but before that was Heather Minter. You know, I'm going to be honest. I am a spiritual person and I, I'm related and have a lot of friends who are either straight on, agnostic or atheist. So I know that some people get uncomfortable when I share that. But I have always been on the fence around organized for religion. It is something nice when you go to a service and they're surrounded by people who either want spiritual connection or comfort or trying to make the world a better place as a, as a community, but there seems too often to be a place where it just starts to go in the wrong direction. And I'm always curious, where does that turn? What is the red flag to tell you that you have joined a cult or a high maintenance religion where quite suddenly, or perhaps it's always been there, not just yours, but your children's or your family's well being? Doesn't matter. Again, not rhetorical. I think this would be good information for us to know. So if you have any ideas on what to watch out for when you're trying to find spiritual connection, let us know. And any ideas on Heather Minter because, wow, that's such a beautiful story. I'm really thrilled for her that she has moved on. And I'm also really amazed how she has broken that cycle because that takes real strength to do. And because of her, it sounds like there's a bunch of kids out there who get this warm, safe, joyful space, something that she yearned for for years. And I think that's, I don't know, one of those things about healing trauma. Like one of the best ways to do that is to either become the person or the thing or create the space that you wish you had to certainly help those around you, but also to prove that those things exist and that you made that happen. So Heather, amazing. World's a better place because of you. And I'm glad you told that story on the show. So where is she now? Heather is now a body worker in Silver Spring, Maryland where she teaches nervous systems regulation to help people find presence and healing and she uses her own story to help others overcome the stigma of abuse and disrupt shame. You can look her up on Instagram @FreshMints. So that is it for our captives episode. Once again, fine listeners, I asked some questions. If you have any answers, feel free to post them on social media or just feel free to post any thoughts or reactions on these fantastic stories from this episode. If you do so, please throw the hashtag I heard it on Risk. I want to do a very special shout out to Michelle Walson who coached these two wonderful stories. She is known to the team as the Story Whisperer. And hey, if you happen to be listening to this episode today, June 9th, did you know that Risk will be presented live in New York City at Caveat Tonight, hosted by the truly amazing JC Cassis? And you can watch that actually from anywhere in the world. It will be live streamed. Want to buy a ticket for either Live in New York or virtual, just go to risk-show.com live. One more thing. On Thursday we are running a truly great old episode called live from San Fran 2014 with stories from Stephen Tobolowski, Dana Gould, NATO Green and Brendan Walsh. If you have not heard that before, take a listen. And if you have, perhaps there are parts that you forgot. So so it might be time to refresh. It's a truly entertaining, fantastic episode. I hope you do. Till then, remember today is the day. Take a risk. Risk, risk risk.
- [47:43]
Heather Minter
Dead lands
- [47:49]
Sophia Javed
ancient new.
- [47:55]
Benjamin Boster
It's just the thing you do. Old hands,
- [48:18]
Heather Minter
Ancient news.
- [49:00]
Sophia Javed
Your mother in her and her with a. Let's see crooked donkey.