RISK! – "Come and Go" – Episode Summary

Release Date: February 3, 2026
Host: Kevin Allison
Featured storytellers: Ezra Holmland, Sarah Adelman

Episode Overview

"Come and Go" is a classic RISK! journey through the unexpected, funny, and deeply personal. Hosted by Kevin Allison, this episode features two true stories of wild turns—one about a home invasion gone haywire and the other about a scientist whose unusual job at a sperm bank led to an even more unusual firing. As ever, the episode rides the line between hilarious, jaw-dropping, and thought-provoking.

Key Stories & Discussion Points

1. "Things Are Going South" – Ezra Holmland

Live at Caveat, NYC — Recorded September (timestamp: 02:48–14:39)

• Setup:

  • Ezra and his younger brother, both in their twenties, spend a final night at their parents' house in Portland before flying to new adventures (Ezra to Antarctica, his brother to Amsterdam).
  • After a late night, the brothers are woken by noises—someone is in the house.

• The Intruder:

  • Awoken by his brother insisting "there's somebody in the house" (04:18), Ezra first doubts it until they both hear frantic footsteps and drawers rifling all over their parents' home.
  • With no cell phones but a landline, they split up tasks: his brother calls 911 while Ezra sneaks upstairs to the kitchen “in just my underwear” (05:47), armed with butcher knives for both.
  • Comedic tension: “We’re standing there, you know, in our underwear, two dudes holding butcher knives.” (Memorable moment, echoed later: 00:04 & 10:39)

• Discovery & Decision:

  • The burglar is not just ransacking rooms—he’s also literally fallen through the ceiling, having crashed out of the attic and left debris everywhere (07:32).
  • Ezra describes the emotional calculus: the fight-or-flight impulse, wondering, “Do I want my obituary to say ‘Two brothers found cowering in the closet’?” (07:59)
  • He opts for bravado: “I got a gun and I’m gonna come in there and fucking shoot your ass. On the count of three, motherfucker.” (09:41)

• The Showdown:

  • The scare works—the intruder, in a panic, dives out a window.
  • The brothers escape outside to meet arriving police, still clutching butcher knives in their underwear—leading to another tense moment as the police, at first, can’t tell the difference between crooks and victims:
    • "Drop your weapons. Drop your weapons now!" (11:19)
    • Comically, their story (headed to Antarctica and Amsterdam) only arouses more suspicion at first.

• Resolution:

  • The police verify their story and soon catch the intruder—described as a deranged-looking man in black with a cowboy hat (13:23).
  • Reflective close:
    • “It really could have gone south…even if you’re headed to Antarctica.” (14:23)

• Notable Quotes:

  • “Do we want our obituaries to say ‘Two brothers found cowering in the closet’?” – Ezra Holmland (07:59)
  • “I’m standing there...I kind of look like Iggy Pop, you know, with a butcher knife in his underwear.” (08:37)
  • “You have no idea just how far south things are actually going to go, even if you’re headed to Antarctica.” (14:23)

2. "The Long and Winding Road to Semen Analysis" – Sarah Adelman

Live at Caveat, NYC — Recorded June (timestamp: 17:59–34:43)

• Setup & Work Life:

  • Sarah lays out her unlikely “dream job” as a professional semen analyst at a New York sperm bank.
    • “For two years I had every little girl’s dream job. I professionally studied semen. I worked at a sperm bank.” (18:03)
    • Has a master’s in public health: “Even though this is cum, it’s serious cum.” (19:25)
  • Vivid workplace anecdotes: she describes first peering into a petri dish full of wriggling sperm and seeing herself—“they had that anxious, nervous, vaguely disgusting vibe I think I’ve always had." (18:45)

• Day-to-Day Observations & Laughs:

  • Discusses the odd, ego-driven behavior of male donors:
    • “Guys would hand me their sad cup of sperm, low volume, and say, ‘what’s the move?’” (23:30)
    • Fielding repeated questions about stealing their sperm:
      • “‘Are you gonna try and steal it to get pregnant?’...Why would I want your cum? I could go to any sperm bank in America and get sperm from Olympic athletes. Me wanting cum from a guy like that would be like me going to Goodwill to get cum.” (24:14)
    • Outlines the bleak humorlessness of her colleagues who “did not find semen funny”—pushing her to solo open mics for comic relief (24:39).

• Comedy Career & Catastrophe:

  • Sarah juggles science by day, stand-up by night, enjoying the double life—until an HR summons:
    • Enter an HR inquisition, where management plays a too-loud YouTube video of her stand-up about working at a sperm bank. (28:13)
    • Awkward showdown:
      • “‘Didn’t think I’d be doing so much centrifuging, but at least I'm still drowning in cum.’” (00:11, echoed here at 28:25)
      • “Is that you?”—“No, it is not.” (28:46)
      • “My permanent record has ‘sexism against men’ on it. Me? Kinda a card carrying guy’s girl… I’m the one who suggests no condom!” (32:07)

• Aftermath & Reflection:

  • She describes the crushing disappointment of being fired for “propagating negative gender stereotypes.”
  • As her meticulously planned science career collapses, she contemplates her future at a Brooklyn coffee shop, musing on the frailty of plans and the discovery of unexpected fulfillment in disorder:
    • “Now that I’ve seen the light, I’m not sure I could go back [to science]… even though it was messy and chaotic and fucking brutal, comedy made me feel like this big bright sun.” (33:55)
    • “No one can control their own life. Not even me. I think I was just a test subject all along, accidentally disproving my own hypothesis.” (34:25)

• Notable Quotes:

  • “Sarah, semen is not funny. And I’m like, well, depends where it lands, you know what I mean?” (24:55)
  • “Why would I want your cum?...Me wanting cum from a guy like that would be like me going to Goodwill to get cum.” (24:17)
  • “I guess that’s why we can’t have women in STEM.” (34:40)

Memorable Moments & Highlights

• Ezra's Stand-Off:

  • The visual absurdity of two grown men in their underwear, brandishing butcher knives on their suburban street (10:39; recalled and bookended).
  • Ezra’s deadpan, Oscar-worthy bluff about having a gun.

• Sarah’s Clinical Comedy:

  • The surreal scene of hospital lawyers angrily transcribing her penis jokes from YouTube for legal review (30:10).
  • Her brutally honest “science of attraction” experiments, jokingly proving “big dick energy” with a p value of 0.01. (30:59)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:48] – Ezra Holmland’s story begins
• [09:41] – The confrontation with the intruder
• [10:39] – Standing in underwear, knives in hand, awaiting police
• [14:30] – Emotional fallout and story close
• [17:59] – Sarah Adelman’s story begins
• [18:03] – "Every little girl's dream job: I professionally studied semen."
• [23:30] – Sarah describes donor reactions
• [28:13] – HR confrontation over her stand-up videos
• [32:07] – Officially accused of “sexism against men”
• [34:25] – Realization: “I think I was just a test subject all along.”
• [34:40] – “That’s why we can’t have women in STEM.”

Tone and Language

• The episode is candid, loose, and steeped in irreverent humor—balanced with raw moments of fear and self-discovery.
• Both storytellers lean heavily on comic timing, self-deprecation, and vivid, relatable images.
• Kevin Allison interjects with warmth, affirming the power of both stories within the RISK! tradition.

For Further Exploration

• Ezra Holmland:

  • Nine-part fugitive story at ezraholmland.com

• Sarah Adelman:

  • Comedy and info at saradelmancomedy.com
  • Her award-winning short film, "Busted," adapts her sperm bank story and is currently on the festival circuit. More at @saraadelman1 on Instagram.

This episode encapsulates the core RISK! ethos: sharing the wild, cringeworthy, and fascinating moments that make us who we are—and daring to laugh, even when life goes completely off-script.