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- [00:01]
Kevin Allison
Hey folks, this is Kevin. On this week's episode of Risk, you'll hear Mark Redmond, girls, girls, girls, come.
- [00:07]
Mark Redmond
On in and see the pretty girls. It was like background music.
- [00:11]
Kevin Allison
That and more. But first, folks, you might have heard that we're scaling back the number of live shows we do, so the next one in New York City on December 9th at Caveat. You really ought to make a point of coming out to see it. And if you just happen to be listening to this episode on the very day it was released and you live in Los Angeles, well then, tonight, November 19th, risk is live at the Lyric Hyperion. So come on out. Tickets are at risk-show.com live. We'll be right back.
- [00:46]
Rosetta Stone
As we gather with loved ones this holiday season, consider how learning a new language can enhance your connections and enrich your experiences. What are your goals for the upcoming holiday season? Whether it's traveling internationally or connecting with family and friends, a new language can open doors to meaningful conversations and cultural appreciation. With that in mind, there's no better tool than Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program available on desktop and mobile. Rosetta Stone immerses you in the language so you truly learn to think, speak and understand it naturally. With Rosetta Stone's intuitive approach, there are no English translations, you're fully immersed, and the built in True Accent feature acts like a personal accent coach, giving you real time feedback to make sure you sound just right. Don't put off learning that language. There's no better time than right now to get started. For a short time, listeners can get Rosetta Stone's Lifetime Membership Holiday Special. This offer will not last long. Visit rosettastone.com Rs10. That's unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your Holiday offer@RosettaStone.com Rs10 today for yourself or as a gift that keeps giving.
- [01:56]
Instacart
Why get all your holiday decorations delivered through Instacart? Because maybe you only bought two wreaths but you have 12 windows. Or maybe your toddler got very eager with the Advent calendar. Or may inflatable snowman didn't make it through the snowstorm. Or maybe the twinkle lights aren't twinkling. Whatever the reason, this season Instacart's here for hosts and their whole holiday haul. Get decorations from the Home Depot, CVS and more through Instacart and enjoy free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply.
- [02:25]
Indeed
When it comes to hiring, don't search for a great talent match with them. Thanks to Indeed, Indeed is your matching and hiring platform with over 350 million global monthly visitors, according to Indeed data, and a matching engine that helps you find qualified candidates fast. And Indeed doesn't just help you hire faster. 93% of employers agree Indeed delivers the highest quality matches compared to other job sites, according to a recent Indeed survey, leveraging over 140 million qualifications and preferences every day. Indeed's matching engine is constantly learning from your preferences, so the more you use Indeed, the better it gets. Join more than 3.5 million businesses worldwide that use Indeed to hire great talent fast. Just go to indeed.com listen right now and listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit. To get your jobs more visibility, go to indeed.com listen and tell them you heard about them from this podcast. Terms and conditions apply.
- [03:26]
Kevin Allison
Hey folks, did you know that during the holiday season, Risk just continues to bring you brand new episodes, brand new holiday stories, hilarious, heartbreaking, tear jerking, or just plain strange. Plus reruns of holiday favorites. So while you're traveling around or shopping or just caught up in the holiday shuffle, don't forget there's always something happening on Risk. Now here's the show. Hello folks, this is Risk, the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share. I'm Kevin Allison. This is Red Garland behind me now, and we're calling this week's episode Coming Back to Life. Two stories about people who bounced back after being laid low by truly great loss. This is the first episode I'm recording after the election of 2024. I have put off recording this segment for as long as I possibly could. I have spent the past, whatever, five days just in a daze, shell shocked, worried, drinking too much. But I called this episode Coming Back to Life because we need each other right now. I've been reminding myself that in tough times, one of the most revolutionary things you can do is to still have hope and joy. In the past several years of worrying about, you know, the podcast, staying afloat financially, and other worries, I've come to think a lot about resources. You and I have resources within ourselves, and we have resources outside ourselves, like community. And one of the resources within that I return to again and again is this quiet sense that somewhere deep in my whole being, things are still okay. If I just breathe and drop down out of my worrying mind and tap into some deeper place in me, there's always a part of me. It's kind of like the roots of a tree, just quietly holding my being somewhere inside of me. There's this Place where things are always ultimately okay. And I believe it's there in you too. I believe it's in all of us. I believe we can share it, build on it, and no matter how bad things might get, yes, we can even still find joy with one another. One thing I've started doing is this practice of saying right out loud what I'm grateful for several times a day. And this morning I woke up and I said out loud. I am so grateful that I have this podcast audience as a community of people who care about people. That's huge. And one of the things I'm proudest of about Risk is that our audience is very broad and diverse. We often have people writing in to say they were more narrow minded or prejudiced in certain ways. And then the podcast kind of helped them start to empathize with their fellow Americans from different walks of life. We've had people who said they used to be a part of hate groups like Neo Nazis, but the podcast helped them evolve. So I am so grateful for you listening. And if you're new to Risk from whatever walk of life you come from, welcome to all. I hope I'm wrong, but let's not mince words. If you follow solid sources of information, there are good reasons to expect that us folks in the United States, all of us, are entering what will be most likely and especially challenging era. There's this movement seeking to divide and conquer. Seeking to make us hate and fear one another so that billionaires can rip our government and our society apart and sell the parts to the highest bidders in a never ending lust for money and power. You know, Malcolm X said if you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. However, there have always been and there always will be people who love people more than profit. To remain hopeful about that is just essential. If we look only at the worst of what's going on, or anticipate only the worst coming, we're going to lose the energy for acting with love and courage and wisdom. So this is the next phase in an era where it will be even more important to connect. You know, you can see how you might be able to get involved in state or local government or organizations. Surge Standing up for racial justice is one we've mentioned before. Mutual Aid Hub.org is a place you can find a mutual aid organization near you or start one of your own. Liberation Library is a good resource online. The action guide@gaslitnationpod.com is too. Maybe we here at Risk can start a list of organizations to post somewhere you can support a local union or start one. We've just gotta keep connecting. Change happens when real people get real with each other, when people can get off their phones and really see and hear one another. And I'm so grateful that this podcast itself can continue to be peacefully revolutionary in that way. If you or anyone you know has a story about dealing with injustice or transcending hopelessness in the face of bullying or gaslighting, if you have a story about learning to empathize with someone you never thought you'd empathize with, or discovering some way to give back to the community that you never thought you could do, or learning some profound lesson from history that might be illuminating for people. Now pitch us Those stories at risk-show.com submissions oh, and in reference to a recent episode of Risk called Moving Toward Democracy and was about my friend Andy, who felt that the best way for him as a trans person to continue taking a stand for democracy was by moving to a place where he felt safer. I have a special email address which is expatnetwork994mail.com where I share information with people occasionally who might be considering immigrating somewhere. No one takes that issue of immigrating to another country lightly. I know because I have no money, but I cannot stop my subconscious from saying to me what might it be like to move to Thailand one day I visited there in 2018 and met some folks there that really impressed me with how well they had assimilated there. There's plenty of ways that voice in my head is just not being rational, but I am going to have to continue to explore that. I think I'll do a trip there next year to meet as many folks as I can over there. So if you are over there or know someone over there, get in touch with me. And like I was saying, to help anyone connect who might be exploring immigration to anywhere, you can email me at that special email address I created for this topic, expatnetwork994mail.com I'll put that in the show notes. Also, folks, historians say that small good deeds go a long way in tough times, that the more there is of that, the more the tide starts to turn. Those little loving gestures of resistance can eventually build into a tidal wave. We simply have to keep learning how to stay well informed in this era of so much misinformation. We simply have to keep looking for opportunities to help one another and show up for folks who are most in need. We just have to, day by day, be building supportive, communal connections with people who care about people. We have to take care of our own health and make space for love and joy however we can, one day at a time. I'll probably start my well being practices workshop again next year where we meet online and explore different kinds of meditations, journaling exercises, group discussions, paired sharing, and so on. If you think you might like to get in on that, email me at kevinrisk-show.com now. Later on we're going to hear from Mark Redmond, but first a new story from Rita Plush, who is always such a pleasure to hear from. You can find her@ritaplush.com and here she is now with a story we call Love in the Time of toilet paper.
- [15:29]
Rita Plush
SA.
- [15:57]
Cindy Ettler
I was 15 when I first laid eyes on Herbie Plush in Jamaica High School. His dimple smile knocked me right out of my saddle shoes. First we dated, then we went steady. That's what we called it back in the 50s. He came to my sweet 16, took me to my graduation prom. He wasn't the first guy I kissed, but he was the first and the last guy I slept with, which makes me practically a virgin by today's stand. When he died, we were married almost 58 years. 58 years is a long tie to be married to one person. And it wasn't always kissy face. We argued plenty. One of the things we argued about was his over buying. He was poor growing up and sometimes neighbors helped out with food. The idea of not having enough stayed with him. He liked to buy in bulk groceries, a dozen cans of this giant size that toilet paper. A case at a clip. The more the better. Even when the kids were out of the house and it was just the two of us, we don't have room for it. I'd say, what do we need it for? I'd say, oh, you need 13 pairs of sneakers. He counted. He died of a heart complication. They couldn't figure out he was gone, but he wasn't. He wasn't there, but he was everywhere. I wore his pajamas and slept on his side of the bed. I missed his smell, his touch, my leg finding his in the night. And then a few months after he died, I started seeing him in the middle of the night in a corner of our room. Not the way he was in real life with a face and features, but in a regular smoky form I know as him. I sit up in bed. I'm in shock, of course. My heart is pounding, but I'm not afraid. Like I'm dreaming and something crazy is happening. But it's the most natural thing in the world. I watch. He stoops, reaches into a box of some kind, and he takes out a roll of toilet paper. There's my honey. Worried there might not be enough. Then I got worried. Maybe I wasn't coping as well as I thought. I decided to see a therapist. I told her about my husband. I wanted to give her a full picture about his growing up poor. And about that time in the hospital when I was in a chair writing and my pen rolled under the bed. I was down on my hands and knees when a nurse walked in. She werps me. He said to her he had a sense of humor. The therapist said the grieving elderly sometimes hallucinate about their loved ones as a way of coping. Elderly? I was in my 70s, but I barely admitted that I was a senior. Now I'm elderly. And hallucinations. Was I psychotic? Unhinged? I saw him. I insisted. She looked at me. Perhaps a psychiatrist? She said, you think I need medication? I said, it could help. She said, I didn't see a psychiatrist. And I didn't see her again.
- [19:23]
Indeed
Elderly?
- [19:23]
Cindy Ettler
Give me a break. But then I began to see my friends again. I took in a movie, and I got back into the world. Call me crazy, but when I ran out of toilet paper the next time, I bought a case of it and the vision stopped. Maybe my husband knew I was taking care of myself. I would have enough. He's gone 10 years now, and I still buy toilet paper that way. And every time I take down a roll from that top shelf in my linen closet, I feel closer to my honor. Sa.
- [20:34]
Rita Plush
Ghost of yesterday Every night you're here Whispering away Might have been might have been oh my dear foolish heart must pay Ghost of Yesterday Ghost of yesterday Every night you're here whispering away Might have been might have been oh my dear foolish heart must bear Ghost of Yesterday Ghost of Yesterday.
- [21:49]
Mark Redmond
We'Ll be right back.
- [21:50]
Midi Health
Today's podcast is sponsored by Midi Health. At any given time, 61% of adult women say they want to lose weight. But for many, that's easier said than done. If you've had trouble losing weight, don't lose hope. Midi Health uses a deep understanding of women's hormones and a combination of weight loss medications to create a customized plan for each user. Midi Health can help you achieve more effective and sustainable weight loss by addressing hormone imbalances. MIDI can also prescribe proven weight loss medications that help you experience reduced appetite and increased feelings of fullness. When paired with hormone optimization, you're not just managing your weight, you're also supporting your body's natural processes, which means you can overcome those weight loss plateaus that in the past have been so difficult to move beyond. So if you're ready to combine the power of hormones with the power of weight loss medications, visit joinmidi.com today. Discover how this innovative approach can lead you to lasting success. That's join midi.com I can't even begin.
- [22:57]
Indeed
To tell you how bad it was. It was Lord of the Flies in a building and it was called Straight Incorporated.
- [23:06]
Jon Bon Jovi
This is the story of Straight Incorporated, an experimental drug rehab for teenagers that infiltrated communities across the country in the 1980s during the height of the War on Drugs, where kidnapping, brainwashing and torture were disguised as therapy. It's the origin story of the troubled teen industry, which continues to profit from the desperation of parents and the vulnerability of their children. And its roots can be traced back to a cult called Synanon. How do I know this? Because I lived through it. My name is Cindy Ettler and this is season two of the Sunshine Place. Listen to and follow the Sunshine Place An Odyssey Original podcast in association with Robert Downey Jr. And Susan Downey. Available now on the free Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts.
- [24:04]
Indeed
The DSW Black Friday sale is on. Take 30% off almost everything in stores and online right now. Yep, you heard that right. 30% off. Stock up on new shoes, bags and extras for you and yours from all the gift worthy brands you love. But hurry. Black Friday can't last forever. Get to your DSW store or dsw.com asap to save big exclusions. Apply details@dsw.com.
- [24:35]
Instacart
Hey, it's Kaley Cuoco for Priceline. Ready to go to your happy place for a happy price. Well, why didn't you say so? Just download the Priceline app right now and save up to 60% on hotels. So whether it's Cousin Kevin's kazoo concert in Kansas City, Go Kevin. Or Becky's Bachelorette bash in Bermuda, you never have to miss a trip ever again. So download the Priceline app today. Your savings are waiting. Go to your happy place for a happy price with Priceline's Black Friday sale. Save now and travel later with our best deals of the year.
- [25:01]
Mark Redmond
Go to your happy price.
- [25:03]
Jon Bon Jovi
Priceline.
- [25:04]
Mark Redmond
We're back.
- [25:21]
Kevin Allison
This is Risk. This is Moondog behind me now. And we just heard from Billie Holiday following Rita Plush, who you can find@ritaplush.com folks, keeping risk running is our goal. We want to keep making the podcast. We want to take the show to other cities in 2025 beyond New York and LA. We want to have more social events like what's your story? We want to keep our storytelling school@thestorystudio.org running. And you can support all of that by joining us over@patreon.com risk. Remember, the AD free feed of the podcast that you can plug right into your regular podcast app is there too, at the tier that grants you access to ad free episodes. You can actually plug a URL right into your regular podcast app and hear the ad free episodes that way. We've got a pinned post there with instructions on how to do this@patreon.com risk Next up, we're going to hear from Mark Redmond, whose memoir is named called and there's a fabulous audiobook version of it that our own John La Sala worked on. The audio engineering of John also worked on this story you're about to hear. So without further ado, here is Mark Redmond with a story we call Tony.
- [27:06]
Mark Redmond
I'm Jon Bon Jovi and I want to talk to you. If you're one of the millions of kids who's going to run away this year now, maybe you've got a bad situation at home. Maybe you think being on your own is the answer to all your problems, well, listen, run away and you'll be living on a prayer. See, out in the streets, there's nothing. There's nothing to eat. There's no place to sleep. There's nobody to help you. There's nothing. Call Covenant House. They can help. That's 1, 800, and keep dialing 9. Remember, the street is tough. It's tougher than you are.
- [27:36]
So this was 1981 and Covenant House was in Times Square. It was for homeless teenagers. And the Times Square today is a Disney Hard Rock Cafe. It was not like that in 1981. It was the center of the pornography and process Constitution district. In fact, Rolling stone magazine in 1981 called it the sleaziest block in America. And it was so this is where I was. But I couldn't have been happier. I couldn't have been happier. And they put me on a floor at Covenant House 2C with 40 homeless teenage boys. These boys were all from the poorest parts of New York City. They were all African American, Hispanic kids. They came from dysfunctional families. A lot of them had been coming out of prison. Some of them had been in many, many different foster homes. And that's where I first met Tony. Tony was from the projects in New York City. He was like a typical Covenant House kid. African American from the city, from the projects, dropped out of high school, dysfunctional family, no job skills. And I was assigned to Tony to be his counselor. And I would talk to him, and I would help him look for jobs. I would talk to him about his problems. And I liked him. He had, like, a really fun personality. He was very likable. But I remember a senior counselor who had a lot more experience than me saying to me, I can see you like this guy, and I understand why he's very likable. But I have to tell you, Mark, he's involved in some very bad things out there in Times Square. So be careful. And I had no reason at all to doubt this woman, but I liked him. You would come into Covenant House, and every day there would be incident reports of anything bad that happened the prior 24 hours, and including anybody who was banned from covenant house either 30 days or forever. So I came in one evening shift, and sure enough, there's Tony's name up on the board, and he's banned from Covenants for life. He apparently come in the day before, blasted out of his mind on what was called Angel Dust, which we know today is pcp, and flipped over furniture and tore the place apart. So Tony was gone. And I felt bad because I really liked him. I thought, well, that's too bad, you know? I guess I'll never see him again. Six months later, I'm walking through Times Square. I'm on my way over to Covenant House. Times Square then had all these strip clubs. And you would hear young men out in front of those strip clubs all the time with flyers, handing out flyers, and they'd say, girls, girls, girls. Come on in and see the pretty girls, girls. You would hear this all the time. It was like background music. So I'm waiting across the street, and I hear girls, girls, girls. And somebody sticks a flyer in my chest, and I look up and who is it? But it's Tony. And he looks at me, and I look at him. He's mortified. He puts the flyers behind his back, like, hoping I didn't see it, you know? And he's like, hey, Mark. And I'm like, hey, Tony. And he was like, how's Covenant House? How's Dudley? How's Patty? He starts naming all the different counselors, you know, And I'm like, they're good. They're good. And I just can't wait till the walk sign, you know, because it was so awkward. So, sure enough, I hear the walk sign. I said, tony, take care. And he said, bye, Mark. You know, say hello to everybody at Covenant House for me. And I walked away thinking, well, I guess that's the last time I'll ever see Tony. Four years later, I'm out of Covenant House. I'm going to grad school at New York University. I'm living in Greenwich Village. I'm at a party in Greenwich Village. It was a fundraiser. It was a priest who was trying to start a shelter for homeless teens in the Bronx. So I'm at this fundraiser. A lot of my Covenant House friends are there. And I hear this booming voice across the room. Anybody here know Tony Reynolds? It was a priest. It was a priest. His name was Father Jim Joyce. He was a mountain of a man. He was about 6 foot 5, 300 pounds. He was huge. And he had volunteered at Covenant House. So I. We yell. I was with a buddy of mine. He knew Tony, too. We yelled, yeah, we know him. So Father Jim comes lumbering over and he said, I'm working as a chaplain at Rikers Island. And I met Tony. And he said that no one. He has no family to visit him, or his family refuses to visit him. But he used to live at Covenant House, and it would be great if somebody from Covenant House could go visit him in prison. So, first of all, you gotta remember, in 1981, there were 15,000 prisoners in Rikers. Is somehow this priest meets Tony out of 15,000, and somehow comes to the same party and yells his name out. And I hear it, but it happened. Pretty incredible, but it happened. So my friend and I said to Father Jim, we'll go. We'll go this weekend. We'll go see him. So that Saturday, he and I, my buddy and I, we jump in a car, we go to Rikers. Getting into Rikers island takes hours. You gotta take a bus. They fingerprint you. The dogs sniff you. They pat you down. They fingerprint you again. It takes, you know, two or three hours just to get in there. So you finally get in this big visiting room, and there's scores of these men. They're dressed in olive drab prison gear, and everybody's sitting at the table with family members. So Tony walks in and he's got this look on his face. He's looking around like. Like, who is here to see me, I don't think. At least then they even told the prisoner who was there. I think they Said to Tony, hey, there's people out there to visit you. I don't think they said, hey, Mark Redmond's here. So anyway, he sees us. Oh, he's so happy. He's so happy. He comes over, oh, I can't believe you visited me. This is great. So anyway, we're laughing, we're reminiscing about Covenant House, and I finally said, so, listen, what are you in for? So he said, well, like everybody else here, I'm in here for drugs, Dealing drugs. So I said, what's your sentence? Well, I got a sentence. They're going to ship me upstate, and I'll be going up there in a few months, few weeks, and it's a two to three year sentence. So I said, listen, here's my address, you know, and if you write to me, I'll write back to you. So anyway, he did a good two or three years, and he would write to me, and I would write back. And he got out. So he got out, he contacted me, and we got together, and we would always meet at Ray's famous pizza on 48th street and 8th Avenue. And he would always say, our prison was so bad. It was so terrible. He'd say the same thing as, I am never going back to prison. Oh, I'm going straight. Well, he would always go back to prison, you know. Then I'd get a letter, a couple of months later, I'm back. And then it'd be a different prison, you know, and so. And then he'd get out, and he said, oh, I'm never gonna go. And he'd go back to prison. So this went on for, like, 12 years. In jail, out of jail, in jail, out of jail. I wish I had kept all the letters that we exchanged. I only kept one. And this letter I have, I'm gonna read a few lines. It's dated June 18, 1993, from some prison in upstate New York. I read a few lines. Hi, Mark. How are you and your lovely family doing? Mark, this letter is to let you know I will not be calling you for some time because I've been calling you too much. And I know your telephone bill is going up and not down. I'm saying this to you and your family because I do care about you all, and I know you all care about me as well. You can also see I do need you and your lovely family in my life because my family is not looking out at all for me. As of right now, I'm trying real hard to correct myself before getting released from prison, this time around, I'm getting too old and too tired to keep on doing the things that lead me to prison. I must get my priorities in order, deciding what I value most. I've concluded that I value freedom more than anything else. I miss affection more than I miss sex. That's word. Just a note from a loved one means so much. While being in this situation, it serves as a reminder that I'm being thought about and loved by somebody. Write back soon as you are able. And please send me the Little Debbies I asked you for. I really got a craving for some of those. Until next time, take good care of you and yours. Love always, Tony. And I would do that. I would buy Little Debbie's cupcakes and wrap them up and send them to whatever prison he was in anyway. This one for a couple more years. And then finally I would say, by the mid-90s, he stopped going to prison, so at least he wasn't dealing drugs. But I knew he was still using drugs. We would agree to meet. I was living in Westchester County. We would agree to meet at Reyes, and he would show up about 50% of the time. It got to the point I would call him on his phone like, tony, I'm leaving now. It's going to take me 40 minutes. I have my son with me. Okay, we got to find parking and then I'll meet you. Oh, yeah, Mark, I'll be there. And he wouldn't show. And I was so frustrated. I can't tell you how many times he'd be like, that's it, I've had it. I am not taking the bait anymore. This is ridiculous. But he'd call me six months later. I would go, and he'd show up and we'd have fun. We'd catch a movie, we'd get pizza. It was fun. It was fun to be with. But I knew he was still. He was still involved in drugs. Had to be. And then he calls me in 1999. So I've known Tony like 18 years by now. And he calls me and says, hey, Mark, what are you doing next Thursday night? I said, oh, I'm free. I'll see you at Raise, you know. He goes, no, no, I'm gonna give you a different address.
- [38:13]
Kevin Allison
I said, well, why?
- [38:14]
Mark Redmond
Why a different address? We always go to Raise. He goes, well, I haven't told you, but I've been going to Narcotics Anonymous for the last two years to a 12 step meeting, and I've been clean off of drugs for two years. And it's my two Year anniversary and I would really love it if you could be there. So I was shocked, I was shocked. But I said, okay, great, great, you know, I'll be there. So I showed up at the address. My son went with me. I think he was about 13 at that point. And we walked in and it was a church. He met me outside. It was the basement of a church, you know, and it was smoke filled basement. You know, if people have never been to a 12 step meeting, they should really go because it's raw, it's honest, it's real. You have people like Tony who have been sober for two years and people have been sober for two days and it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, right? They're all there to support each other. So they went through all the usual 12 step rituals and at the end of the meeting, they reserved time for any, anybody whose anniversary it is. So. And they get to give a speech. So it was Tony's two year anniversary. So he said a lot of things that were really good. And then at the end he said, you know, when you're dealing drugs, you always think your drug dealing friends, they're always going to be there, right with you. You know, they'll be loyal to you. You know, if you get locked up, no matter. But once you get locked up, forget it. It's out of sight, out of mind. They forget all about you. But there was one person who didn't forget about me. There was one person who would write to me, there was one person who would call me, one person would visit me, one person who would send me Little Debbie's cupcakes. And it's that man right there. And he pointed to me. And it was a great thing, it was especially to have my son with me, you know, it was just, it was just a great moment. So shortly after, after that, Tony and his partner had a baby and, oh, she was pregnant. And he called me and said, you know, will you come to the baby shower? So I said, great. I said, give me the address. And he said, I'll give you the address, but don't get out of the car. It turned out it was one of these like 50 story projects, you know, where like I could get shot or killed. So he came down and met me at the car and we went up in the elevator and I got into the apartment. It was not exactly a Jack and Jill shower. It was me, Tony and about 30 women. He went around to, every woman said, this is Mark Redmond, he's my best friend. Which really touched Me. So I looked at his partner, and she was really pregnant. I looked at her, I was like, you look like you're gonna give birth tonight. Sure enough, I left the party and she went into labor. He called me the next day. He goes, yeah, between contractions. She said, your friend jinxed me. So they had a little girl. They had a baby girl. And it's really sad. His wife relapsed eventually and became addicted to drugs and died pretty young. She died of either an overdose or some drug related illness, you know. And he asked me to be the godfather for the little girl. So I went to the church, and I'm her godfather to this day. And I was very touched he asked me to do that. But, you know, he raised her as a single parent. And I went to her middle school graduation, and if I heard it once, I heard it 20 times. And all the women, all the women that kept saying to me, tony's a good father. Tony's a good father. I heard it over and over again, you know, which is really. Yeah, it's hard to think of a better compliment. Then I got married. I got remarried. Tony came to the wedding. He brought a gift. I always joke, there are still relatives of mine who went to that wedding. I'm still waiting for the gift. But Tony, Tony gave for a gift. And then we moved to Vermont. We had a baby. We moved to Vermont. So it became much harder to see Tony. Right? But I always said, listen, when you get to your 10 year anniversary, I'll come down that. So the 10 years came. There was a giant snowstorm that hit Vermont. And I called him. I said, tony, I just can't make it, you know, I'm so sorry. I said, you know, and I always wondered, is he going to make it to 10 years? But he was so dedicated to the 12 steps into his meetings. Very dedicated. So then I said, listen, when you make it to 20 years, I'll come down. So, Shona, 10 years later, I called him in November. I said, tony, isn't this your 20th anniversary? He goes, yeah, it's. He gave me the date. I said, I'm coming. So sure enough, I took the train down there, got off at 125th street in Harlem. He met me on the platform. We went off to soul food, because you cannot get soul food in Vermont. And I went. It was like. It was great. It was. I was all these men and women, all of them struggling, you know, to overcome their addiction. Tony, as his 20th anniversary, I was the only white male. There was one white female she comes up to me and says, congratulations on your 20th anniversary. I'm like, it's not me, it's him. But it was the same thing. It was just wonderful. The support it was. It was just a great thing. So anyway, last year was his 24th year, and it was on Zoom. And my wife and I, we dropped our son at college. We're driving back from. From Indiana, and I suddenly told my wife we're in Ohio. I said, we gotta pull over and find a hotel. I gotta open up my laptop. Tony's Zoom 24th anniversary is about to start. So I did it from a hotel room somewhere outside of Cleveland. And the 25th is coming up. I have to go down for the 25th. And he lives in an apartment in Brooklyn with his daughter, who's grown now and she has her own daughter. He even has his own business. He started a clothing line, forty Plus. He sells hoodies and T shirts and hats. When people say, what do you want for your birthday? I'm like, give me a 40 plus hoodie. Give me some of Tony's clothing. So it's an amazing friendship. You know, when you think about it, we text or call each other almost. We have nothing in common. Nothing. Nothing. We come from two totally different worlds, but we're very close friends. Like every in the morning, I'll get a good morning from him, or, you know, have a great day, or I'll text him. You know, when I tell people the story about Tony, I was thinking this movie, this Japanese movie, I'm a big movie fan, and it was a Japanese movie in the 90s called Afterlife. And the plot of the movie is that after you die, there is an afterlife. It's not necessarily heaven or whatever, but there's an afterlife. But here's the catch. In the movie, you can only bring one memory with you into the afterlife. And it should be a memory that really defines you. So it shouldn't be like the day I got married or the birth of my child. It's like, what is that one memory that really is special to you? And I've often thought if I only had one memory to take with me into the afterlife, it would be being in that smoke filled church basement in 1999 and listening to Tony say, there was one person who didn't forget about me. There was one person who would call me and write me and visit me. One person who would send me Little Debbie's cupcakes. And that's the memory I would take into the afterlife.
- [46:13]
Rita Plush
Love dream people all over Love train love train the next stop that we make will be mine Tell all the folks in Russia too Don't you know that it's time to get on board and let this train keep on riding? Riding on through where wherever belong the world no need no more start love drink don't need no drink it Come on.
- [47:02]
Mark Redmond
Join.
- [47:09]
Kevin Allison
This is Risk. This is the OJ's behind me now. And we just heard from Mark Redmond. You can find more of his work@markredmondbooks.com Folks, we've got a fun group of Risk fans who are already signed up to come with us on our fundraiser, our trip to Portugal in May of 2025. So if you think you'll need a vacation next year, join us. Come see the sites and share wonderful meals, share stories and more. Just go to risk-show.com Portugal and instructions on how to sign up are right there. Well, I know we could all. I know we could all use some laughs right now. So on Thursday, we're gonna have another one of our funny stuff episodes. But that's Thursday. And folks, today's the day. Take a.
- [48:23]
Rita Plush
Come on.
- [49:01]
Kevin Allison
Hey, folks. There's so much more of Risk in the holiday season. Risk is always publishing new episodes and new stories as well as holiday favorites. This holiday season, don't forget, click on Risk.