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- [00:00]
Kevin Allison
Hey folks, this is Kevin. On this week's episode of Risk, you'll hear Rich Tackenberg.
- [00:05]
Rich Tackenberg
Okay, well Rich, if you would like to sleep here on the couch instead of going back to your hotel, you are welcome to sleep here on the couch. And it suddenly feels like a job interview that went really well, but you're not getting the job.
- [00:17]
Kevin Allison
And I'm like, okay, that and more. But first, did you know that the ad free episodes of Risk that you can get if you're a Patreon member, you can actually plug a URL right into your REG podcast app to hear those episodes. You do have to go to patreon.com risk to become a Patreon member, but there you'll find a pinned post with instructions on how to plug those ad free episodes into your favorite podcast app. And you know what? Risk fans who have already done all that are not hearing right now me reading this ad.
- [01:00]
Rich Tackenberg
We'll be right back folks.
- [01:02]
Kevin Allison
We've heard some jaw dropping stories on the show before, but sometimes the stories our own minds tell us can be the most jaw dropping of all. If you've ever been caught off guard by disturbing unwanted thoughts, you might know what we mean. When something violent or taboo or embarrassing bursts into your mind, it can leave you reeling and wondering, what does that thought say about me? Well, that happens to almost everyone, but for people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or ocd, they tend to cause a lot of distress and feel impossible to stop thinking about. A good friend of mine has ocd, so I've witnessed this struggle up close and it's taught me a lot about how serious and misunderstood the condition is. People think OCD is only about hand washing or organization. OCD can latch onto anything, but it often focuses on the things we care about most in an attempt to make the distress from their unwanted thoughts go away. People with OCD will often engage in repetitive physical or mental behaviors known as compulsions, which can be incredibly time consuming and exhausting. OCD is highly treatable, but it needs specialized treatment. NOCD is a virtual therapy provider for OCD that makes getting specialized therapy easier than ever. With nocd, you can do live face to face video therapy with licensed therapists who specialize in OCD Exposure and Response prevention, or erp. A type of therapy that was designed specifically to treat OCD is considered the gold standard treatment and that's available through nocd. NOCD accepts many major insurance plans and offers always on support between sessions. If you think you might be struggling with OCD and want to learn more about therapy with no CD, go to nocd.com and schedule a free 15 minute call with their team. That's nocd.com to learn more and book a free 15 minute call.
- [03:41]
Rich Tackenberg
The holidays are all about sharing with family meals, couches, stories, Grandma's secret pecan pie recipe and now you can also share a cart with Instacart's family carts. Everyone can add what they want to one group cart from wherever they are so you don't have to go from room to room to find out who wants cranberry sauce or who should get mini marshmallows for the yams or collecting votes for sugar cookies versus shortbread. Just share a cart and then share the meals and the moments. Download the Instacart app and get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes plus enjoy free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply.
- [04:13]
Laura House
Wow.
- [04:14]
Rich Tackenberg
What's up?
- [04:14]
Laura House
I just bought and financed a car through Carvana in minutes.
- [04:17]
Rich Tackenberg
You the person who agonized four weeks over whether to paint your wall's eggsh off white, bought and financed a car in minutes.
- [04:24]
Laura House
They made it easy, transparent terms, customizable, down and monthly. Didn't even have to do any paperwork.
- [04:30]
Rich Tackenberg
Wow.
- [04:32]
Laura House
Hey, have you checked out that spreadsheet I sent you for our dinner options? Finance your car with Carvana and experience total control financing subject to credit approval.
- [04:42]
Kevin Allison
Looking to improve your diet in the new year? Try seeing a personal dietitian with nourishment. Nourish has hundreds of dietitians who specialize in a variety of health concerns including.
- [04:52]
Rich Tackenberg
Weight loss, gut health and more. Meet with your dietitian online and message them anytime through the Nourish app.
- [04:59]
Kevin Allison
Nourish accepts hundreds of insurance plans. 94% of patients pay $0 out of pocket. Find your personal dietitian@usenourish.com that's usenourish.com now here's the show. Hello folks, this is Risk. The show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share. I'm Kevin Allison and this is Bahamas Soul Club behind me. Now I thought of this song because I just included it. A huge 12 hour long super eclectic music playlist that I created on Spotify. The playlist is called we need to Talk About Smevin. That's Kevin with an SM instead of a K at the top. You can also find the epic playlist, the best of Risk music over there on my Spotify. Just look me up on Spotify at Kevin Allison. Now we're calling this week's episode Date me in a little bit. We're going to hear from Laura House. But first, this episode drops on New Year's Eve 2024. And the first story we're going to hear from Rich Tackenberg takes place on a New Year's Eve of the past. You can find Rich on Instagram richtack. And here he is now with a story we call the Wingman.
- [07:20]
Rich Tackenberg
All right, so this is December of 1987. We're going back to when I am 19 years old. I am home from college, as are my high school friends, and we are all hanging out in the basement of my friend Joe. That's where we always hang out. Now, I had been friends with Joe since I was 14 years old, and we were very close, even though we were very different guys in high school. Joe was way more social than me. He actually had a lot of friends and even had a girlfriend that he hung out with while the rest of us were playing Dungeons and Dragons. But we were still always close friends. And so now we're back in his basement reliving the old times. Like, you know, high school. Like sneaking Amaretto into the high school observatory when we were in the astrophysics club. Right, guys? No. Okay, well, this gang, we had spent the last five New Year's Eve in Joe's basement, hanging out, usually pouring stolen beer into soda cans and making our own party. And it had always been fun, but every year, it was getting now smaller and smaller as a lot of the guys weren't coming home anymore. And we could all kind of feel like this might be the last year that I get to hang out with guys like Joe and. And we want to make it epic. And more importantly, New York state, just two years earlier, had changed the drinking age from 19 to 21, because that's how old I am. And it was an atrocity to us. So I suggested let's celebrate New Year's in Toronto, where the drinking age is still 19. Now, my other two friends are like, yeah. And Joe is not buying it. He's like, guys, I am not driving five hours each way so the four of us could sit at a bar and talk about the same bullshit with each other that we would right here in this basement. And Joe's got a point because that is how I was in high school. But Joe doesn't know the new socially confident me of college. I can now hang and hold my own in a group of people. I had even been friend zoned by a few amazing women, which was a huge accomplishment for me. So I said, joe, I hear you, but I promise you I will not let you down. I will be your wingman. And he looks at me seriously, and he raises his eyebrows, which I interpret to mean, dude, I love you, but you are full of shit. You are absolutely gonna drop the ball on this. And so I commit to him and to myself. That will not happen in my first outing as a wingman ever. I am going to crush it. So with that, five days later, we drive up north and we celebrate New Year's Eve, the strike of midnight at the Hard Rock Cafe in downtown Toronto. We are drinking cold bottles of Molson Brador legally, and we feel invincible. We are making a little bit of small talk with some of the people there. By 1am, a bunch of local guys invite the four of us to play pool. So we're walking over to. My two friends are in front of us, and Joe pulls me back and says, hey, no, no, no, no, let's go hang out at the bar. And he points to two women who are sitting at the bar alone and clearly bored. And I'm like, oh. And he looks at me and raises his eyebrows, which I interpret to mean, dude, step up. And he's right. I got this. It's just talk. So we put down our full bottles of beer, walk up next to them, order two bottles of beer, and as we get them, Joe raises his Molson to them and says, happy New Year. And just like that, we are in a conversation. And I am completely out of my comfort zone because the two women, they are probably 10 years our senior, they both have, like, black hair with bangs, but one has got a white AC DC shirt with the sleeves cut off and wearing a yellow bandana. She looks more like, if you remember, Chrissy Hind of the Pretenders, way out of where I'm used to. And her friend had, like, on, maybe it was spandex, like a. Like a leotard or something, with a pink pleather belt and a black leather jacket and looked very much like a Pat Benatar type. And I was like, out of my element. But Joe was just so natural. He's just talking and so I draft behind him and I'm asking questions. We find out that they share an apartment together and they work together, and it's very evident that this is not the best New Year's Eve they've ever had and. And they just welcome the conversation with anyone. But we're talking for a bit and Joe orders the ladies two blue lights from the bar. And I hear Chrissy Hinde turn to Pat Benatar and ask if they can switch stools so Chrissy Hind can sit next to Joe. And when it happens, Joe leans into Chrissy Hind and we have a connection. And now I'm really stressed. Cause I understand that my job as a wingman is, is simply to just have enough of an acceptable platonic conversation with Pat Benatar that she does not want to leave the bar and take Chrissy Hind with her. And to be clear, there is no romantic spark. So I turn to props. There's a white cream colored guitar on the wall that was owned by Alex Leifson of Rush, which I start making fun of. And Pat Benatar tells me that she's a huge Rush fan. I call Rush bullshit. And we start doing a song off where we're each naming a Rush song again, you know, one at a time. And at some point it's very obvious that we're just making up names of songs to make each other laugh. And it's really fun. But then it dies and there's an awkward pause. So I start asking her about her and I find out she's from Manitoba and she's a graphic designer at the Toronto sun, but it's not really a creative job and I don't think she likes eggs for some reason. And it's going like, well enough. And then suddenly the overhead lights of the bar start flashing. It's 2am and the bar is closing. And Chrissy Hines says to Pat Benatar, hey, should we all go back to our place for one more drink? And Pat Benatar says, yeah, why not?
- [13:39]
Kevin Allison
Yes.
- [13:40]
Rich Tackenberg
I have done it as a wingman. I have just had enough dumb platonic conversation. This night alive for Joe. I am so happy. Until I see our two other friends approaching. I had completely forgotten about them. I run up to them and I say, guys, I love you. This is like the most amazing night ever. Now go away. And they are really pissed off, which is fair, until I say, guys for Joe. And they go and they raise their bottles for Joe and they leave. It's like, hey, when you're a wingman, sometimes you gotta cut deep. This is what I gotta do. So now we're going to their apartment and I should be relaxed because my job is done. Joe does not need a wingman anymore. I did what I had to do. But I'm nervous because I had assumed and we were with Pat Benatar. I was in the friend zone, but I had assumed there was no chance I could get out and maybe there could be Something more. And it was very stressful because normally I'm not good at this, and now it feels extra awkward about potentially trying to make a move after. I'm a guy that's been invited to a strange woman's house in the middle of the night, and I don't want it to be awkward and inappropriate, so I'm not sure what to do. We get there. Chrissy Hines sits in this little blue love seat. Then Jo crashes right next to her. And so I sit at the end of one end of this big purple sofa, and Pat Benatar sits all the way at the other end. I'm like, okay, there are three cushions between us. We open some beer and we start talking about, like, the difference between Toronto and New York. Very easy, dumb, silly conversations amongst the four of us. And fairly quickly, Joe and Chrissy Hind are having their own conversation. I'm on my own, and I'm like, all right, well, don't ask questions. I start to at least share a little bit about myself. And I start explaining that it's actually. I'm actually, like, 4:40 minutes outside of Manhattan from Long island, and there's a certain shame of being, like, a bridge and tunnel tourist and what that means from New York. And we start talking, and I'm even talking about, like, I always felt kind of guilty that I never really realized how great my sisters were until we were out of the house. And. And it's not flirting at all, but at least it's intimate. And like, over the next hour and a half, we're just kind of talking, the four of us, two of us, four of us, two of us. And as Pat Benatar and I are getting up and sitting down again, we are kind of getting closer together on the couch. And like, after an hour, like, okay, there's two cushions between us and another hour of conversation, it's getting a little bit more intimate. It's really more me and Pat Benatar. And then at maybe like 4:00am or something, Chrissy Hind announces, I'm going to sleep. And she gets up, and Joe just follows her into the bedroom and closes the door. And I'm like, oh, okay. And I turn and I look, and there's still a full cushion between me and Pat Benatar. I have not closed the gap. And her back straightens and she's like, okay, well, Rich, if you would like to sleep here on the couch instead of going back to your hotel, you are welcome to sleep here on the couch. And it suddenly feels like a job interview that Went really well, but you're not getting the job. And I'm like, okay. And I'm like, oh, well. So she offers me, like, a pillow. I say that I'll stay, and I accept. You offer a pillow? And she goes and gets one, and she hands it to me, but she steps back and she very warmly says, goodnight, Rich. But there's clearly, like, three feet between us. And I'm like, if I'm gonna make a move or say something romantic, I've got, like, 10 seconds. And I'm, like, trying to think of what to say, but as I'm looking at her, I'm like, she doesn't want this. And the truth is, I came here to support Joe. I did it. He's having a great time. Better to end the night than end the night badly. So instead of leaning forward or anything, I just say, hey, Happy New Year. And in the silence, not knowing how to fill it, for reasons that to this day I don't understand, I salute her. A full military salute. And it, like, kind of breaks her brain a little bit. She's, like, relieved and confused. And she just, like, turns and walks away and. Oh, my God. And I'm just standing. And she walks to her bedroom, and I'm taking off my shoes, and she's standing in her bedroom, and she's clearly thinking. And she looks over at me, and I just look over her and I just smile. And she finally breaks into a smile. And then she says the most romantic two words I had ever heard up until that moment in my life. Come on. And I bound into her bedroom like a puppy dog. And we sit on the bed and we're talking, and then she leans into my ear and she whispers, happy New Year. And we kiss, and it's perfect. And then we lean back on the bed, and then I pass out. I know this because I am awakened in a sunlit bedroom by Joe, who's like, come on, big guy. We gotta go. And we're getting up, and there's no one in the bedroom. We pass through the living room. The girls are not there. Joe tells me that we gotta run to catch a bus back to the hotel so we can check out. I don't know what's going on. We just were running. I'm still kind of drunk. We catch the bus. It's so crowded. Joe and I have to sit, like, 10 seats apart. We're not at all close to each other. And I sit down. And as the bus leaves, I finally have a minute to, like, process, like, what just happened. And of course, for a brief moment, I'm so mad at myself for passing out. But I think about it and I'm like, you know what? I was here for Joe. I promised that I'd be here on that front. I delivered. I would argue that I over delivered and it was better that the night ended than it ended badly. And I look over at my buddy and he's kind of lost in thought and he finally sees me and we're looking at each other and he just looks at me. He raises his eyebrows and he gives me a huge smile, which I interpret as him saying, dude, you stepped up. And it's so nice because I know that Joe knows I'm not the same kid that he grew up with. And we are both very far from his basement. So from across the bus, I just mouthed the words to him. Happy New Year. We'll be right back.
- [19:58]
Ryan Broderick
When you feel a cold coming, shorten.
- [20:00]
Laura House
It with Zycam, the number one cold shortening brand. Oh no. Your cold is coming. Your cold is coming. Thanks Revere.
- [20:08]
Rich Tackenberg
I really should keep Zycam in the house.
- [20:11]
Ryan Broderick
Only if you want to shorten your cold.
- [20:14]
Rich Tackenberg
Take it from America's most revered messenger.
- [20:17]
Laura House
Shorten your cold at the first sign.
- [20:19]
Rich Tackenberg
With cold shortening products from Zycam, the number one cold shortening brand. Available in stores or see where to buy@zycam.com.
- [20:28]
Kevin Allison
The 2025 Ford Explorer ST has a 400 horsepower engine.
- [20:33]
Laura House
It's up to you what you do with that power. The 2025 Ford Explorer.
- [20:38]
Kevin Allison
It's all in the name.
- [20:39]
Rich Tackenberg
Horsepower and torque ratings based on Premium fuel per SAEJ1349 standard. Your results may vary.
- [20:43]
Kevin Allison
Water damage is no joke. Did you know that water damage makes.
- [20:46]
Rich Tackenberg
Up more than 25% of all home insurance claims?
- [20:48]
Kevin Allison
And the average claim costs over $13,000. Don't let a small leak turn into a big expense. Learn more@go.pemco.com no joke. Pemco Mutual Insurance Company, Seattle, Washington.
- [20:59]
Ryan Broderick
Do you feel like life is completely out of control? And do you feel that way because you spend all day looking at the Internet? Do you see things in your various feeds and apps that are terrifying and or enraging? And do you often wonder if those things are even real in the first place? Well, I'm here to help. Sort of. My name is Ryan Broderick. I'm a journalist. I cover Internet culture and technology. I write a newsletter called Garbage Day and I have a brand new podcast called Panic World. Whether it's a moral panic about teenagers boiling chicken in Nyquil and posting it to TikTok, or teenagers vaping Tide pods or Taylor Swift being a government psyop. All of these conspiracy theories and more get put under the microscope on Panic World. I don't have solutions, but on my podcast Panic World, we can definitely, well, we can laugh about it for sure. Listen to Panic World. It's a great show. I love it and I love you for listening to it. Panic World is available on all apps. Just type in Panic World into the box that those various interfaces have. Panic World. Listen to it. It's good.
- [22:00]
Rich Tackenberg
We are back.
- [22:26]
Kevin Allison
This is Risk. This is Cosmo's Midnight behind me. Now, another song I put on my Spotify playlist called we need to Talk about Smevin. And we just heard from Rich Tackenberg who's on Instagram. Richtac folks, in recent years, the support from our listeners became one of the most necessary legs that we we stand on today. Our corporate storytelling workshops, they go through phases of busy times and slow times every year. Our advertising seems to be more up to speed than it was a couple years back. Our live tour shows might start happening again next summer. Still getting that one figured out. But I can't tell you how important it is that our Patreon members support stays constant and consistent. And for our Patreon supporters, we have a new bonus story out from Ariel Kazan. Kash Kashanshi. Ariel Kashan. She cannot say. I cannot say her name. Ariel Kashanchi. Okay, there we go.
- [23:46]
Laura House
I don't know what transpired from then to when I was aware of what was going on, but I went from in my living room, laying on my back on my yoga mat to half in my bedroom, half in my bathroom on my stomach, yoga mat wrapped around me, thrashing around, bleeding, and for some reason hyper focused on aligning my bath mat with the bathroom tiles.
- [24:15]
Kevin Allison
And there's plenty more where that came from@patreon.com risk also folks, get on over to Earth to Annie on Instagram. Our dear friend Annie Kreitzberg is a ceramic artist and her bowls and plates and cups, they just could not be more beautiful and just beautifully made. And Annie's teaching a ceramics class in January. So again on Instagram she is at earthtoannie. Next we're going to hear from Laura House, a favorite of ours from our LA shows, who you can find@laura house.com Here she is now with a story we call Wordy, nerdy and sturdy.
- [25:32]
Laura House
A few years ago, I was in a serious relationship that ended suddenly when he broke up with me, I was 46. And I don't know if you've ever been broken up with in your 40s. I don't recommend. Not something you should aspire to necessarily. And I can't say this for sure, but I do believe it's feels a lot like missing the last copter at a Nam. I was just like, no running, no. And I mean it's tough because it's like, oh, die alone. It is then. And I mean we had been together seven years. We had been together 10 off and on before that. I mean this was. We lived together. It wasn't nothing. And also it's very painful because he was sort of my ideal. He was handsome and romantic and charming and fun. Like he, he always knew cool stuff to do. Like some pop up celebrity chef restaurant that just happened or he always took us to like cool concerts and stuff. And it was only later that I realized we never did my fun things. Like when he kind of gave in and like went to one of my movies or some museum, you know, it was like a lot of arms crossed and looking at the watch and eye rolling and I felt like, like I wouldn't have left. I just, it wasn't bad. And I honestly, it's weird to say this out loud. I didn't, I didn't think anybody else would like me. I wasn't even sure he liked me. So I really, when it ended, I was devastated and I just, I fell apart. I'm sober and I talked a lot to my sponsor and also whoever was working the counter at Domino's. And after several months I was like, I'm going to try again. I'm going to try. I got on the dating apps, which, you know is. It's a website where you make up lies to trick someone into loving you. And that's what I was all about. I always lied on those things or I didn't know what to say to hook them in. You know, I just. You're supposed to put a little headline and I would just be like, I don't know guys like Star Wars. So I would just put a reference. Han shot first. I don't know what it means, but just. Could someone just step up and love this was. That was really the goal. And so I had a dating profile up there and it dated a little. I dated a scientist and he was interesting. He had made a 3D printer and he was using it to print parts that would create another 3D printer. He just wanted a perpetual. Not something I had considered but then we didn't really. It was really a big connection. I went out with a guy who's super so funny and not. Not homeless, but he was in between homes. Like, he was for like a year and a half and, like, lived on his sister's couch because this thing hadn't worked out, but any minute. And anyway, that also didn't. Didn't work out. But so I would. If you've done the dating apps, you have to get on and then take a break and get back in there. And so I was doing that, and then I had enough dates that didn't work out that I just got really tired. So now I'm old and tired, and I revamped that dating profile. Essentially, I got so exhausted that I got honest, which I really recommend. Like, especially in a dating profile, before you sign up, give up. Just give up. Trying to impress anybody or connect with anyone whatsoever is my. Like, we tell people to put their best foot forward. I put your worst feet forward is my two cent. Because at some point, these people will meet you, and you don't want it to have peaked at the profile and then just go down from there. And so, you know, we all have that one picture that's, like, at dusk and a certain angle that somehow takes off years and pounds and yay, technically, you like, I. You're never gonna look like that. And I took off that picture and. And I also got honest in what I was like, I don't like walks on the beach at all. I need easier parking than any beach I've ever seen. I can't. I need less sun and more parking. And the beach does not have either of those. Not one I've seen. And honestly, I would rather just, like, binge watch Ozark. Like, can we just be honest about this? I like Scrabble and books and puzzles and so my new little sexy headline, wordy, nerdy, and kind of sturdy apologies on the podcast, but if I'm lying, I'm dying. I am stocky wearing glasses. I don't know what to tell you. Look me up. You will get it. And not a lot of people responded, but this one guy, this one guy responded, and, oh, I did not mention that. In the categories of, like, what movies do you like in tv? I added categories which he had never considered that anyone could do, but I added, like, podcasts and comedians and stuff that I like. So if you've been on dating apps, like, no matter what you look like or you're. You'll get creepy messages, like, just weird. Hi, nice Breasts. Like, I don't. Just things no one would ever say necessarily at a party or whatever. But this guy, he messaged and he said, oh, comedian. You like Mitch Hedberg? I like him too. My favorite Mitch Hedberg joke is, escalators can never break. They can only be stairs. What's yours? And I was like, when he bought a donut and they gave him a receipt and he was like, I don't think we need to bring paper and ink into this transaction. Donut receipt. And we kept messaging and then we started talking and decided we were gonna meet. So we're trying to plan a date. We're on the phone. It was actually the first time we talked. We were on the phone and trying to make a plan for this restaurant. And I'm used to like, Mr. I know where all the cool places are. And so I asked this guy, like, you know, where do you want to go? And he, he blurted out, he goes, I don't make plans. I'm not a planner. I don't know where to go. You decide where to go. I don't, I'm just, I'm not a planner, but I'll show up. But I'm not a planner. You go ahead and plan. I'll be there. Wow, red flag. That's kind of a weird response. But I didn't really mention. But my ex had been great at making plans to see other women while we were together, as well as other kinds of plans. And I was like, you know what, maybe it's time for a. A non planner. And so I picked Old Timey Steakhouse. This guy's a jazz trumpet player. And I was like, it's old timey, he'll like it. And it's the kind of place where like nice enough food but a lot of atmosphere and for sure somebody mob related has shot several people in various corners of this spot. It was one of the very. The red boots and the carpet, did floors and very dark wood walls. And it was just moody kind of neat spot. And so we go to this state place and I listen, I phoned it in on the profile, right? But I went to the trouble to leave my home to see this person. So I am dressed up. Normally I dress like a drunk art teacher, but I, I really, I'm like skirt and heels and boobs and face. I did the whole thing. And I walk in and he's already there. He's at the host stand and he's kind of jeans, but nice shoes and he's kind of stocky and he's wearing a plaid blazer. We gotta lock eyes and look at each other, and it's a real moment of truth. If you've only been on the dating apps, like, they're better or they're worse. It's never the exact same. And we. So we lock eyes and we're both like, okay. Which doesn't sound good, but it is good. Like, you don't need. You get it? You don't need fireworks. You just need that gate arm to go up. You know what I mean? You just need them to not fake an emergency. Like, oh, what the dog? I'll be home immediately. You just. Okay, proceed. And he seemed maybe a little bit nervous, but he smiled at me. And I don't know how to describe it other than kind of a I already like you smile. Just a comfortable, hey, you're here kind of smile. So we're getting shown to our table, and he's walking ahead of me, and a waiter gets in between us. And this waiter is one of those giant, giant trays over his head. And this waiter gets distracted, and this tray starts to tip toward me, and I'm looking up at it, and I remember thinking, well, it's not gonna fall. He's a professional waiter. Nope, here it comes. And it tips and falls and it hits my chest and it crashes to the floor. And just cups and plates and. And half eaten shrimp scampi. Just. And I stand there, and I am like, who doesn't finish their shrimp scampi? It's really expensive, and there's not that much. But I'm also. I'm mortified. I mean, it's a Saturday night. It's a packed place. It's anniversary parties and old people and young people and dates, and everybody's looking. And I'm the person when you clap, like, it's me. And I'm just trying to connect with this person. And I'm standing there. I don't know what to do, but I'm in the whole dating scenario. I was trying to take care of myself in a way that maybe I hadn't before. And I checked in with myself, and I was just like, what do you need? Do you need to leave? Do you need a rain check? You were just attacked by appetizers. Like, what do you. Do you need to go? And I. It's like, no, I think I'm okay. And waiters are rushing around while I'm having this moment and, you know, cleaning everything out. Are you okay? Are you okay? And I was like, I think I'm okay. Nothing really got on me. I was just kind of shaken. And so I was like, I'm gonna stay. And I proceed to the table, and he had not known what to do. And he's sitting at the table. And so I sit across from this guy and he looks across the table at me, makes very sincere eye contact, and asks, are you okay? I want to be honest. And sort of filled him in. What I had discovered of like, I'm like, I'm mortified. Like, that was a very weird adrenaline rush and I'm embarrassed. But, yeah, I'm okay. And just as sweetly, sitting across that table for me and maintaining eye contact, this guy says, can I laugh now? And I knew he was my guy. If he was a car, I would have driven him off the lot right that second. I was like, that is a sweet smart ass. Are you kidding? I didn't even know this existed. I didn't even. The idea that you see a tray fall on your date 5 seconds into it and you don't just start laughing, but you care enough to see if she's okay and you get permission to laugh. That's a level of good man I had never encountered in my entire life. And we did laugh. And. And I also really appreciate it because I immediately thought of the nine out of 10 women who would just slap him if he. If he said that perhaps, and that I wasn't hurt. I had looked for a certain kind of ideal, but really just the ideal is just a fit. Just the right fit. And we laughed and we had a great time at dinner. And we ended up changing location after we wanted to keep talking, and we were going to talk at this bar that had music and I really wanted to hang out with him, but it was like a crowded neighborhood bar. And I don't know if I mentioned I hate parking. I can't. They didn't have a lot. And I'm like, ugh, see how this goes? So we get near the place, we're in separate cars because I'm a lady, and he's in front of me in his car. And we get near the place and I saw an open spot. And. And. And I was like, oh, he's going to get it, that's fine. But his car stopped. Then he gets out of his car and he walks to my window and I roll it down and he says, there's a spot right there. Why don't you take that spot and I'll keep looking. How do you like your sex, sir? I mean, I don't know how else to say how thoroughly invested in this person I already who I'd known for two hours. And that was really my takeaway from that experience, that just because maybe this person didn't love me prior did not mean I was not lovable. And that really, it really just took me putting it out there in an honest way for someone to connect with me in an honest way. And that was seven years ago. And we're still laughing, making each other laugh today. So thanks for letting me share this story.
- [40:29]
Rupert Holmes
I was tired of my lady. We'd been together too long like a worn out recording of a favorite song. So while she lay there sleeping I read the paper in bed and in the personal columns there was this letter I read if you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain if you're not into yoga if you have half a brain if you'd like making in love at midnight in the dunes on the cape and I'm the love that you've looked for Write to me.
- [41:22]
Kevin Allison
And Escape this is Risk. This is Rupert Holmes with the yacht rock classic Escape behind me. Now, if you've never listened to the lyrics all the way through through this song, let me tell you the couple in the story the song tells could really use some counseling. It's always fun when you listen back to some of these songs that you've listened to, you know, you've heard forever and then realize, wait, this is kind of fucked up. But this song came to mind because before there were dating apps, there were the personal ads. And Laura House just reminded us that whether it's apps or ads, there's always plenty of room for things to go sideways. Look her up@laura house.com so seeing as how this episode is dropping on New Year's Eve, when I'll be home in Cincinnati, I can say this is officially the final risk episode of 2024. Listen, I sincerely hope that the coming year is filled for you personally with wonderfully helpful surprises, with blessings and resources. New resources you discover within yourself or around you, that you're able to spend plenty of quality time with people you love, that you're able to make new friends, new connections that you can play and be creative. And that we can all find new ways to connect or rekindle old ways to connect and support one another and foster peace and love and hope in our world. But that's next year. And folks, today's the day. Take a risk.
- [43:31]
Rupert Holmes
Then we laughed for a moment and I said, I never knew that you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain? And the feel of the ocean? And the taste of champagne? If you like making love at midnight? In the dunes on the cape? You're the lady I've looked for? Come with me and escape? If you like pina coladas? And getting caught in the rain? If you're not into yoga? If you have half a brain? If you'd like making love at midnight? In the dew? Southern cake? Then I'm alone? That you've looked for? Write to me and escape? Guess I like being a colada? And getting caught in the rain? I'm not marching to health food? I am into champagne? I've got to reach you by tomorrow? And cut through all this red tape?
- [45:08]
Kevin Allison
Have a fun, Go back.