RISK! Podcast Summary

Episode: Greg Proops
Release Date: February 6, 2025
Host: Kevin Allison

Introduction

In this episode of RISK!, host Kevin Allison welcomes comedian and actor Greg Proops to share his unforgettable story titled "Strange Days in the Chicken Room." Originally performed at the 2013 San Francisco Sketchfest, Proops delves into his unconventional job experience at a 1970s pizza parlor, blending humor, surreal encounters, and raw honesty.

Setting the Scene: San Carlos, California (00:00 - 03:23)

Greg Proops begins by describing his upbringing in the predominantly white town of San Carlos, California, contrasting it with the spicy ethnic fare that was unfamiliar to its residents. Graduating early from high school, Proops recounts his struggle to find employment, humorously noting interactions with his high school advisor.

Proops (05:07): "It was a buck a run and tips a buck. People used to tip in 1979, 50 cents or a quarter and shit for a pizza."

First Day at the Pizza Parlor (03:23 - 11:36)

Proops narrates his first day delivering pizzas at Chicken Delight on Burlingame Avenue. He introduces the eccentric staff, including Lonnie, the gruff owner with a Marine Corps tattoo, and Stubby, a tipsy older driver who believes in uniform attire to command respect.

Proops (07:45): "Lonnie goes, 'Are you tracking all our cars on Carvana Value tracker on all our devices?' I go, 'Yes, Kristen, yes I am.'"

The Chaotic Work Environment (11:36 - 18:00)

The pizza parlor operates like a military war room, with Proops humorously describing a map filled with pins tracking deliveries. He highlights the bizarre mix of pizza delivery and illegal activities, including drug use among staff and unconventional payment methods.

Proops (14:20): "It's like Churchill's war room... strategic strikes on certain areas. Truesdale needs a pepperoni, you know."

Encounters with Drugs and Unusual Transactions (18:00 - 24:00)

Proops candidly discusses the prevalent drug culture within the pizza parlor. He details exchanges of marijuana and methamphetamine ("crank") as part of daily operations, illustrating the blurred lines between work and illicit activities.

Proops (17:50): "Kids are being paid in weed... I want to tell you, I'M here to tell you that kids are being paid in weed."

Memorable Characters and Incidents (24:00 - 21:30)

The narrative highlights various quirky characters, including Bobby, Lonnie's troubled brother-in-law, and aggressive drug dealers. Proops shares a tense encounter where he narrowly avoids confrontation with Samoan gangsters, underscoring the unpredictable nature of his job.

Proops (21:30): "I almost got fucking shot for being a fucking dickwad from the Peninsula for flipping off two fucking gangsters who are clearly strapped and shit."

Climactic Conclusion and Reflection (23:50 - End)

Proops wraps up his story with a reflection on his tumultuous experiences, blending humor with a sense of relief at having moved past that chapter of his life. He emphasizes the absurdity and danger of his past employment, leaving listeners both entertained and contemplative.

Proops (23:50): "I can't. Let's go see Richie Blackmore, man."

Notable Quotes

• Proops (05:07): "It was a buck a run and tips a buck. People used to tip in 1979, 50 cents or a quarter and shit for a pizza."

• Proops (17:50): "Kids are being paid in weed... I want to tell you, I'M here to tell you that kids are being paid in weed."

• Proops (21:30): "I almost got fucking shot for being a fucking dickwad from the Peninsula for flipping off two fucking gangsters who are clearly strapped and shit."

Conclusion

Greg Proops' "Strange Days in the Chicken Room" is a masterful blend of comedy and candid storytelling that offers listeners a window into a bizarre and challenging period of his life. Through vivid descriptions and unfiltered humor, Proops captures the essence of unconventional work environments and the unexpected experiences they bring. This episode epitomizes RISK!'s mission to showcase jaw-dropping true stories that listeners might never dare to share publicly.

Listen to the full episode on RISK!