Hurt

Summary

RISK! Podcast – “Hurt”
August 28, 2025
Host: Kevin Allison

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Brief Overview

This episode of RISK!, hosted by Kevin Allison, dives into the theme of hurt—emotional and physical pain, survival, and the courage to share stories that normally go untold. Pulled from the show’s rich archive, this episode features powerful live storytelling from two performers: New York comedian and showrunner Robin Gelfenbein, who recounts a personal experience with bullying, and international comedian Trevor Noah, who tells his harrowing family story of domestic violence and resilience. The episode foregrounds vulnerability, endurance, and ultimately, self-acceptance.

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Key Segments

1. Introduction by Kevin Allison (04:07–06:17)

• Kevin shares updates about recent vacations, teaching at Kink Camp, and meeting listeners inspired by previous episodes.
• Jokes about his own comfort zones and reactions to pain:

  “I now know how I react when I’m tied up and tortured with an electric cattle prod. I scream and cry like a six-year-old girl.” (05:20)

• Sets the tone for the episode:

  “Speaking of pain, we’re calling today’s episode Hurt. Moving stories from recent Risk live shows in New York and Los Angeles.” (05:54)

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2. Robin Gelfenbein – “Vargas” (06:17–17:54)

Story Summary

• Excitement for College: Robin arrives at Syracuse University to study broadcast journalism, brimming with hope for fun and connection.
• Mysterious Harassment Begins: She’s bombarded by a repeated menacing chant—"Vargas"—from unseen male students. At first, Robin shrugs it off, confused by the reference.
• Bullying Escalates: The harassment spreads: phone calls, whispers in class, shouts in the dining hall, and eventually a public confrontation at a campus block party. Confronted, she learns the nickname is a reference to a male teacher character (Mr. Vargas, from Fast Times at Ridgemont High) the bullies think she resembles.
  • Robin’s reaction:

    “It wasn’t just that that man is highly unattractive. It was that it was a man. And I was so crushed. I was so embarrassed and ashamed by that.” (09:38)

• Living in Fear: The bullying’s scale grows, leaving her constantly anxious—she alters her routines to avoid her harassers.
• Seeking Help: After a terrifying elevator encounter, Robin reports the situation to her residence director. She feels dismissed but is encouraged by friends to escalate.
  • Resident Director’s reaction:

    “Ugh... Robyn, I get complaints about these guys every single day... You should consider yourself lucky.” (11:38)

• Judicial Board & Consequences: She brings the case to the university’s judicial board. Only five out of sixty involved are punished—with perfunctory apology letters.
  • Robin’s summary:

    “Dear Robin, sorry I called you Vargas. Have a great summer.” (13:18)

• The Confrontation: The ringleader, Chris, is forced to hand-deliver his letter. Robin practices compassion but demands an answer for his actions.
  • Notable moment:

    “I said, ‘Chris, I just want to know one thing. Why?’ And he doesn’t say anything.” (15:13)

• Lingering Effects: Though the direct harassment lessens, the emotional toll lingers for years. She avoids activities she loves, living “in a self-imposed witness protection program” (16:47).

• Graduation & Triumph: Robin sings in front of thousands at graduation—receiving laughter on her own terms—and finally feels free:

  > “For the first time, I felt so confident. Because I knew I was no longer afraid of them. But more than anything, I was no longer afraid to be myself.” (17:54)
  

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3. Trevor Noah – “The Best Looking Person in the Family” (23:49–40:40)

Story Summary

• Family Background: Trevor grew up in apartheid South Africa. His mother raised him alone for years (“We were like a team... every Tuesday we would go and have pizza. She would buy me a pizza and then she would watch me eat it.” (24:55)).
• Mother’s Strength & Independence: She lives independently, hitchhiking with Trevor and later getting a car. Humor and warmth thread throughout their poverty and adversity.
  • Quote:

    “Sometimes my mom would tell me to hide and then wait for the car to stop for her. And then I would run out. Because people were more likely to stop for a woman and not a woman and a fat child.” (26:45)

• New Stepfather, Abel: Trevor’s mother marries Abel, a charismatic man who becomes abusive as the relationship sours.
• First Incident of Violence:
  • A drunken Abel burns food; a fight escalates. Trevor watches as Abel physically assaults his mother:

    “...He slapped her. And you know, the weird thing about seeing your parent get hit is you just don’t see it coming. Because parents are not meant to receive beatings. This is their job, to administer beatings.” (30:24)

  • The trauma of witnessing this is compounded by the police’s indifference:

    “My mom said, ‘I’d like to lay a charge against this man who has hit me.’ And the policeman said, ‘Well, did you do something?’” (32:13)

• Aftermath: Though Abel is not immediately removed, time passes before violence erupts again.
• The Shooting: Years later, Trevor gets a call:

  “Mom’s been shot... And it’s so funny, I didn't ask by whom. I knew immediately who she had been shot by.” (33:54)

  • Abel has shot her at close range as she returns from church. Miraculously, four bullets misfire and only one enters her head (35:48).
  • In a moment of dark humor, Trevor offers:

    “I think that was Jesus... Bullets and wine are very different.” (36:16)

• Hospital Ordeal: The bureaucracy of the hospital pauses for financial guarantees, to Trevor’s exasperation and comic effect.

  “They said, it might be a lot of money if she has to go in ICU. I said, just do it... but like, I still want my money, and she’s cool and everything, but she’s lived a great life, I feel.” (36:57)

• Miraculous Survival: His mother pulls through; the bullet misses all vital structures. When offered cosmetic reconstruction, she refuses:

  “No, no surgery. I’ll keep it the way it is as a reminder of what has happened to me.” (38:23)

• Finding Light in Pain: The story closes with his mother’s joke:

  “You know what this means now, right?... Now you're undisputedly the best looking person in the family. There's a bright side to everything.” (39:11)

• Aftermath: Abel is imprisoned, Trevor’s mother is alive and resilient, and laughter returns.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Robin Gelfenbein:

  • “I had been living in this self-imposed witness protection program.” (16:47)
  • “But more than anything, I was no longer afraid to be myself.” (17:54)

• Trevor Noah:

  • “Parents are not meant to receive beatings. This is their job, to administer beatings.” (30:29)
  • “She looked at me and said, you know what this means now, right? ...Now you’re undisputedly the best looking person in the family.” (39:11)

• Kevin Allison:

  • “That’s the kind of stuff you learn about yourself when you step outside the old comfort zone.” (05:33)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 04:07 – Kevin Allison intro, episode theme
• 06:17 – Robin Gelfenbein’s story “Vargas”
• 17:54 – End of Robin’s story
• 23:49 – Trevor Noah’s story “The Best Looking Person in the Family”
• 40:40 – End of main content

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Tone & Style

• The episode is deeply personal yet leavened with the hosts’ and storytellers’ trademark wit and self-deprecation. Both stories show how humor and candor can coexist with pain, making for an engaging and cathartic listening experience.

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Final Thoughts

“Hurt” is an exemplary RISK! episode—unflinching, funny, and ultimately heartening. It offers two vivid, very different journeys through pain and the recovery of self-worth, making for impactful listening both for those seeking catharsis and those in search of inspiration.

Transcript

[Kristen Bell]

Fun.

[Robin Gelfenbein]

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[Kristen Bell]

And if you know my husband Dax.

[Robin Gelfenbein]

Then you also know he loves shopping for a car. Selling a car? Not so much.

[Kristen Bell]

We're really doing this huh?

[Robin Gelfenbein]

Thankfully, Carvana makes it easy. Answer a few questions, put in your VIN or license and done. We sold ours in minutes this morning.

[Kristen Bell]

And they'll come pick it up and.

[Robin Gelfenbein]

Pay us this afternoon.

[Kristen Bell]

Goodbye Truckee.

[Robin Gelfenbein]

Of course we kept the favorite.

[Kristen Bell]

Hello other Truckee.

[Robin Gelfenbein]

Sell your car with Carvana today. Terms and conditions apply. The kid you hear playing the piano? He's not mine. On top of the two weekly piano lessons and finger yoga, I give my son Smarty Pants vitamins to support his brain health because. Well, I'm supposed to say it's not a competition. Of course it's a f ing competition. Choose Smarty Pants vitamins to support your kids brain health and help them master whatever their chopsticks may be. Shop on Amazon smartypantsvitamins.com or at Target. Today, Abercrombie Kids is bringing the ultimate first day energy back to school. It all starts with on trend outfits for that front door photo shoot. Plus the coolest tees, shorts and jeans to take them through the rest of the year. Get them ready for their close up and keep them comfy too. Make this grade their best one yet. Shop all things back to school in store, online and in the app.

[Kevin Allison]

Hey folks, this is Risk the show where people tell true stories they never thought they dare to share. I'm Kevin Allison and every Thursday we release these special episodes where we look back at content from our earlier years. But before we start today I want to say that if you Risk listener are anywhere near New York city on Thursday, September 11th. That night from 7pm to 10pm I'm having a going away party to prepare for heading off to Thailand. So come say hello and goodbye on September 11th at Dream Baby on Avenue B. That's 162 Avenue B I think. Thursday, September 11th. Come on by. Everyone's welcome and I hope to see you there okay, now, today we are going to hear an episode that premiered in July of 2013. It's an episode we call Hurt.

[Kristen Bell]

Ra.

[Kevin Allison]

Hello, kids. This is Risk, the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share. I'm Kevin Allison, and this is Jonathan Geer behind me. Now what such an exciting time for us. A lot of us on staff have either just been on vacation or are going on vacation. I just returned to Kink camp for the third time. This time I returned as a faculty member. I taught a class called everything you can do to an ass other than fuck it. It went terrific. But the most exciting thing of all was that I would say maybe 10, maybe 12 people came up to me at camp this year and said, hey, we're here because we heard that Risk episode called Kevin goes to Kink Camp. We decided to take a risk. We found darkodyssey.com online and we decided to come to camp. And they were so excited to be there. So what a thrill to be such a perverse influence, I guess. And I now know how I react when I'm tied up and tortured with a electric cattle prod. I scream and cry like a six year old girl. That's the kind of stuff you learn about yourself when you step outside the old comfort zone. Speaking of pain, we're calling today's episode Hurt. Moving stories from recent Risk live shows in New York and Los Angeles. People who, you know, lived through an ordeal, but came through and then came to this safe space to share about it. In a little bit, we're gonna hear from the one and only Trevor Noah. But before that, we're going to hear from one of everyone's favorite New York storytellers. She hosts one of everyone's favorite New York storytelling shows. Yum's the word. Here she is now. This is Robin Gelfenbein with a story we call Vargas.

[Robin Gelfenbein]

So I couldn't wait to get to college. I was so excited because I wanted to study broadcast journalism at the same school. Yeah, BJ Mages. I wanted to study broadcast journalism at the same school where Bob Costas and Dick Clark went. The Newhouse School at Syracuse University. Not because I wanted to be the next Katie Couric. I wanted to do funny stuff, you know, like I wanted to interview Ricky Schroeder at the mall or do, like, trapeze or be the wacky weather girl. I dream big. And everything was going great. I had the best roommate, Mindy Cohen, not to be confused with the Mindy Cohen from the Facts of Life, although that would have been awesome. But this Mindy. And I loved all the same things, like air popped popcorn, musicals, and Balki from Perfect Strangers. And then all of a sudden, I started to hear, like, the strangest noise. And it was kind of like this hiss. And it would build, and I heard it every time I came in and out of my dorm. And I lived in a high rise building, so I couldn't see who was doing it, but it sounded like this very large and very threatening group of guys. And I couldn't quite make out what they were saying, but it sounded something like Vargas. And I didn't know what that meant, so I just kind of kept going about my day. And then they started calling and waking me up in the middle of the night, and they would scream, Vargas. It sounded like they were, like, above me and below me on the 18th and 20th floor windows. And they would scream it out into the darkness at night. And then they started leaving me messages on my answering machine with some voice modulator.

[Kristen Bell]

Was like, vargas vloggers. Vargas.

[Robin Gelfenbein]

And I was starting to actually get a little nervous. And then it just kept getting worse. Like, they would whisper behind me in class. They'd be like, Vargas. And they'd yell at me in the dining hall. And it somehow word spread, and guys in the dorm next to mine started doing it, too. And it was like everywhere I went, I heard this, and I didn't know what Vargas meant. So one day I'm at block party, and it's like the entire campus has descended on Fraternity row. It's like 60, 20,000 students are there, and I'm hanging out, and I'm singing to the band, and I'm drinking like a peach Bartles and James wine cooler. I'm having a good time. And then out of nowhere, 20 of these guys come up and surround me. And they're chanting, vargas. Vargas. Vargas. And they're closing in on me. And the closer and closer they get to me, the farther away I see my friends walking, and my heart is racing. And finally, like, the big ringleader of the group is standing, like, right in front of me. And he kind of looks like a brawny Evander Holyfield, and he was this big football player on campus. And I finally, I guess it was like liquid courage from my wine cooler. And I was like, what does Vargas mean? And he got so close to my face, I could smell the cheap beer on his breath. And he goes, fast Times of Ridgemont High. You look like Mr. Vargas.

[Kristen Bell]

Vargas.

[Robin Gelfenbein]

And he starts laughing. And then they start laughing. And it's, like, building, and it's maniacal. And they're so close to me at this point. And I go, who's that now, if you guys don't know. Mr. Vargas was the science teacher in Fast Times at Ridgemount High. He was played by this character actor named Vincent Schiavelli, who was also in this movie, Ghost, where he played this crazy guy on this train. We had this, like, wild, crazy hair. And he was on the subway, and he's like, get off my train. Get off my train. That's who they thought I looked like. And it wasn't just that that man is highly unattractive. It was that it was a man. And I was so crushed. I was so embarrassed and ashamed by that. But I didn't let on to my friends that that was how I felt. I just kept going as though everything was. Was fine. But deep down, I was afraid to be home. I was afraid to be out. I was afraid to be anywhere. But I just kept going about my business. And a few weeks later, I'm on my way to class, and I get on the elevator. I'm by myself, and it stops on the 18th floor. The doors open, and Chris is standing there with his friends, and his face lights up, and he smiles at me, and he gets on, and I don't say anything. And they don't say anything. I just stand there, and I stay fixated on the numbers, but I can feel their bulky winter coats rubbing up against me. And then we stop on 12, and more of them get on, and they're all smiling and smirking. Nobody's saying anything. But out of the corner of my eye, I see Chris go, Vargas. And as he does that, his breath blows my curls across my face, but I just stay there. And I keep watching those numbers. And then we stop on five, and more of them get on. And at this point, the elevator is packed. Nobody can move. My heart is pounding out of my chest, and I am freaking out because I don't know what to do, because I'm afraid of what they're going to do. And I finally stick my hand through their bodies, and I hit the button for the third floor. And as soon as the elevator's doors open, I race through them and I cross over, and I hear them scream, vargas. Vargas. Vargas. And I run through the common area, and I hide inside the stairwell. And after that, I was like, I have to tell somebody. So I go and I tell the residence director. As soon as I went into her office, I was like, susan, this is you know what's been going on? And she's like, ugh. She goes, robyn, I get complaints about these guys every single day. They're either beating people up or breaking into cars. You should consider yourself lucky. And I was like, that's not really the word that came to mind. But then I thought, well, maybe she's right. Like, maybe, relatively speaking, I am lucky. And maybe I should have. You told. Told somebody sooner. Maybe I should have told my parents. And, you know, why didn't I do anything about this sooner? I was starting to get really angry with myself. And so I was telling my friend Lisa about it. She's from Long Island. And she's like, are you kidding me? You're being harassed. You need to talk to somebody.

[Kristen Bell]

I was like, okay, okay, I'll do it.

[Robin Gelfenbein]

All right, you got it. So finally, I decided to go to the judicial board, which was so scary for me, but I went and I told them what was happening. And luckily, they took it to seriously. They issued what they thought was a very appropriate punishment. They had them write letters of apology. And you can imagine, like, what these letters were. It's like, dear Robin, sorry I called you Vargas. Have a great summer. And at this point, actually, it had grown to, like, 60 guys who were involved in this, and the judicial board just punished five of them. But I was like, I don't care. I just want this to be. Be behind me, because I'm here to be in the Newhouse school. So a couple weeks later, I am getting all packed up to go home. Mindy's not in the room. I've got my door cracked open. I'm, like, rolling up my Howard Jones poster. I'm singing to Erasure. I'm having a good time. And I look up, and standing in the doorway is Chris. And I notice two things about him immediately. One, he's alone, and two, he's completely hunched over, and he's staring at the floor. I go, hi, Chris. And he reaches his hand out, and he's got this slip of paper in it. And he says, they told me I had to give you this. I said, I know. Come on in. And the reason I wasn't nervous was because, A, because he was alone. But, B, I've been taking classes in nonviolent action and social change all year. And I was, like, totally into, like, Gandhi and Martin Luther King. And I was like, this is, like, the perfect time to put this into practice. Like, love thy enemy. This is gonna be amazing. So I have him sit down on my twin bed. My little Pink comforter. He has a big football player. And I wheel my desk chair over to him and I'm like three feet from his face because I want him to feel as scared of me as I've been of him. And I reach out my hand. I said, hi, I'm Robin. And he doesn't look up, but he shakes my hand back and he goes, I'm Chris. I said, I know who you are. I said, you and your friends have made my life a living hell. I can't go anywhere without hearing this name. I just tried out to be the orange mascot, and you guys screamed at me the entire walk to the Carrier Dome and the entire time back. And I don't understand. We just met, right? And he's still not looking at me, but he's like. He's clearly very nervous. And I said, chris, I just want to know one thing. Why? And he doesn't say anything. So I wheel my chair a little closer. I said, I just want to know why. And he doesn't say anything. So I let him go. Now, I wish I could tell you when I went back sophomore year, that everything changed and I got a clean slate. But the truth is that even though the yelling subsided, the stares and whispers and laughter continued. But I sucked it up because I was determined to not let them stop me from getting into the Newhouse program. And I got in, but it didn't matter because the damage was done. For the next three years, I did everything I could to avoid them. It was like I was constantly looking over my shoulder. So I got. I took 21 credits, like each semester I would get up really early in the morning and I would come home very late at night to avoid them. I got involved in all kinds of activities where I knew they couldn't find me, like student government and dance troupe. I even joined the chapel choir. And I'm not even Christian. But the one thing that I wanted to do and the whole reason I was there was I wanted to join the campus TV and radio station. But I didn't do it because I was so afraid it was going to draw more attention to myself. And by the end of my senior year, I realized that I had been living in this self imposed witness protection program. And I graduated and I got my degree from. From the Newhouse School. And I was very, very happy. And at graduation, they had me sing the national anthem and the alma mater. And after that was done, I sang a funny song that I had written for the students. And I sang that song by myself a cappella in the Carrier Dome. And as I stood on this podium, I was so overwhelmed by this eruption of laughter from more than like 30,000 people who were laughing with me. And as I took that in, I looked down at those bullies. And for the first time, I felt so confident. Because I knew I was no longer afraid of them. But more than anything, I was no longer afraid to be myself. Thank.

[Kristen Bell]

You.

[Robin Gelfenbein]

We'll be right back.

[Kristen Bell]

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[Robin Gelfenbein]

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[Kevin Allison]

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[Robin Gelfenbein]

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[Kristen Bell]

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[Kevin Allison]

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[Kristen Bell]

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[Robin Gelfenbein]

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[Kevin Allison]

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[Robin Gelfenbein]

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[Robin Gelfenbein]

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[Kristen Bell]

We're back. This one's for the lonely the ones that seek and find Only to be let down time after time this one's for the torn down the experts at the fall Come on friends, get up now you're not alone at all oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh and this part was for her and this part was for her this part was for her does she remember it comes and goes in ways I this one's for the faithless the ones that are surprised they're only where they are now Regardless of their fight this one's for believing if only for its sake Come on friends get up now Love is to be made this part was for her this part was for her this part was for her does she remember it comes and goes in wayside and only like to wonder why it comes and goes in way I'm only like to wonder why.

[Robin Gelfenbein]

Why.

[Kristen Bell]

I try.

[Kevin Allison]

This is Risk. This is Greg Laswell. Behind me now, a song brought to my attention by Risk music intern Joseph Bretzfelder. If you'd like to be a Risk music intern, just write to me at kevinrisk-show.com we just heard from Robin Gelfenbein. She has a very popular storytelling show of her own in New York called Yum's the Word. And you can find her at Robin Gelfenbein. And of course you can find the links to the websites for the storytellers and the musicians on the listen [e-mail] Our final story today comes from a truly unique and wonderful new voice in the comedy world. I think he is well on his way to tremendous success. Trevor Noah was born a mixed race kid in South Africa when apartheid was still in effect. He has dozens of amazing stories just about that and I assumed he was going to be sharing one of those with us. But the story he did end up telling at the Risk Live show in New York City was a total surprise. But listen, there is so much more great stuff to hear from Trevor and he has a special on Showtime this summer. It's called Trevor Noah African American. It first airs on Showtime on July 6th at midnight and various other times throughout the month. But here he is now at the Risk Live show in New York City. This is Trevor Noah, the story we call the Best Looking Person in the Family.

[Kristen Bell]

Good evening and to the people at home, good evening to you. This is cool because you're here, but they're also there. I've never done this before. Feel like I'm talking to you, but more importantly I'm talking to the person who's listening to this now on their ipod. One of those really old ones with the scrolly wheel thing. I can't believe you still have one of those. And I'm from Africa. I grew up in a single parent household. This was not because my father was unavailable or didn't want to live with us. He couldn't live with us because we grew up in South Africa during apartheid or I grew up during that time. My parents were already grown up when they were parents because this is generally what parents do. Not always, but most of the time. And so because of this, we couldn't live together. But I feel like even if we could live lived together, we wouldn't have my. My mother never wanted a man to own her child. It was a very strange deal she had with my father. She said to him, I want a child. And he said, I don't want to be a dad. She said, no, I didn't say I want you to be a father. I said, I want a child. And so he agreed to make her pregnant, which I think was a good time. And just because I know what this consists of. And so I was born to my mother and she named me Trevor Cliff Noah. The only reason I got the second name Cliff was because she wanted me to have the second initial C. Because she wanted my initials to stand for Tender Care, which is just a horrible reason to give somebody the name Cliff. You can just say that my name is Tender Care and we will know in the family. But she chose to destroy me with that name. And, and my mom and I lived together. This, this was our thing. We were like a team, you know, a fantastic team that went through life together, living in crazy places. We moved a lot. In the beginning, I was her little fat child. She treated me very well. Every Tuesday we would go and have pizza. This was like a special treat. She would buy me a pizza and then she would watch me eat it. She wasn't allowed to join me because this was my pizza. And she would do anything for me because I was her only child. And I always reminded her of this even as a little child. I would look at her and I'll say, I could die, you know. And then she would let me eat my food alone, which was really cool. And as Holish when you see, think in hindsight. But at the time as a child, I felt like this was appropriate. And so we lived together and we grew up in the strangest areas because my mom lived a very independent life. She didn't rely on her family. We lived together in a place called Eden park, which was a horrible area on the very far outskirts of the outskirts of the city. And so we used to walk to the main road and then hitchhike into town. That was the only way we could get in. We had no car at the time, so we would live there. And then every morning at 6am we would walk for about an hour and then we would hitchhike from 7am and then that's how we'd get around. Sometimes my mom would tell me to hide and then wait for the car to stop for Her. And then I would run out. Because people were more likely to stop for a woman and not a woman and a fat child. So we used to do this all the time. And then one day we got a car, which was great. We got a car. So we lived in this. We had a little Beetle that we had together. And life was really good. Until one day my mom fell in love with another man. A very charming man. He didn't have front teeth, but his charm circumvented this fact. He actually had a great smile, even though he didn't have those teeth. And he was a very charming guy. Sweet guy. And he was cool, and he was hip. He was the friendliest guy ever. And he was a mechanic. He used to fix our car. And he was just, like, the coolest guy ever. And one thing related to another. One day we were having dinner with him. Next day we were just hanging out as friends. And I got to know him, and he was my buddy, and he was cool. And then one day, he slept over at the house, which I didn't understand. I was a kid. I was just like, yeah, he slept over. I didn't think that he was doing things with my mom. Which is just horrible even now to think of. And so he stayed. And then one day, my mom said to me at a prayer group meeting. That we always used to go to every Tuesday. She said, trevor, I'm thinking of marrying this man. And I went, who? Jesus? Because that's who we'd been talking about. It's very important to build up something before you tell. And she said, no, no, I'm thinking of marrying Abe. And I was like, what? Why would you marry him? He's just a cool guy that sleeps over. This makes no sense. Plus, I've already got a dad. She said, no, no, not to be your dad, to be my husband. I said, that makes no sense. You get husbands so that they can be dads. And she didn't agree. And so they got married. And I never liked him. I never liked him. I didn't. And I don't think he liked me. I never called him Dad. I refused. I called him by his first name, which was Abel. And I made sure I enunciated it. When I saw him, I said, hello, Abel. And he would say, hello, Trevor. And we would eye each other almost like a young lion cub eyes the old one. Like, one day, when I'm strong enough, I will kill you. I always dreamt of that day. And we lived together for a while. Things were good. And then one Day I'll never forget forget this. We were at home and Abel, who was very charming in the beginning, started to become increasingly drunk. As the relationship grew, became more and more drunk. And then one day he got to the house. It was at 1am or somewhere there. This was a tiny little house we lived in together on the outskirts of the outskirts. And he came back, he was very drunk, and he decided to cook himself some food. During the course, course of this meal, he fell asleep, which I don't think was in the recipe. And the food burnt on the stove. My mom woke up because she smelt that. That smell, you know, the smell, you know, when something is burning. And she thought the house was burning down. She ran into the kitchen and she found the food. And then she started to shout at him. What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Oh, this is the problem with you. This is the thing you do, the thing. You get drunk. You're always drunk now, why are you always drunk? Why are you always drunk? And he was drunk, like I'm drunk. And she said, why are you always drunk? Why do you do this? What's wrong with you? And I thought, well, why can't we just sleep? Let's just sleep. Let's just sleep. And then I'll never forget, I was sleepily watching this fight. And out of nowhere, literally out of nowhere, my mom was shouting, saying, how could you do this? Why are you doing this? Drunk. You're drunk. Why do you always do this? You're doing this. And then he slapped her. And you know, the weird thing about seeing your parent get hit is you just don't see it coming. Because parents are not. Are not meant to receive beatings. This is their job, to administer beatings. I was the recipient of many a beating in my time. This was very normal. I know in America, children aren't supposed to be beaten, which I think is a waste of children. But in Africa, this was and still is very normal. You hit your child. This is most of the fun of having children. And so I was beaten. I think kids are made for it. We are meant to be beaten. We understand beatings. But I'll never forget my mom got hit by this man and she fell to the ground. And I'd never seen my mom in this position before. And she was there and she looked at him and this was the first time this had ever happened. And she looked at him and she said, what are you doing? And he said, something drunk, drunk. Something drunk. Shut up, woman. Drunk, drunk. And she got up and she said, what are you doing? How dare you? How can you do that? What are you doing? And he said, shut up. And she said, I won't shut up. I won't shut up. And she says, shut up, and I won't shut up. And then he hits her again. And then she just carried on talking from the floor. And in my head I was going, what are you doing? What are you doing? Don't you know how this works? Because I was an expert at receiving beatings, I knew the technique was to question initially and then cry and then be silent. This generally limited the duration of the beating you would receive. But she just carried on. She just carried on. And we made our way out and we ran. And I'll never forget that day. We ran to the police station and we got there and my mom said, I would like to lay a charge against this man who has hit me. And the policeman said, well, did you do something? And my mom said, what do you mean? Well, did you do something to make him hit you? And my mom said, no, no, I. I didn't. And we stood there. I remember. I remember standing there going, what. What did she do? She did. Can you do something to make someone hit you? I. I didn't know because this was the police, and the police know everything, you know. So I stood there and I didn't know. And I don't remember what happened for the rest of the night because I fell asleep on the police bench next to a man in handcuffs who cradled me in his lap as I fell. I remember the warm handcuffs against my face. They actually aren't that bad when they're warm. When they're cold, it's like handcuffs. But when they're warm, it's just like excess of jewelry. And I fell asleep. My mother didn't leave him, and we lived together for many years. He didn't hit her again until one day a few years ago. My mom was coming. Coming back from church, and I was in my new place. I just got in a place and I got a phone call from my brother, my younger brother in the morning. And he said, trevor, where are you? What are you. Are you busy? And I said, yeah, sort of. What happened? And he said, mom's been shot. I said, I'm sorry, what? He said, mom's been shot. Are you busy? I said, even if I was, this sort of clears out my schedule. And he said, well, she's been shot. And it's so funny, I didn't ask by whom. I knew immediately who she had been shot. By. It was a strange thing. I always hated the man. He had an evil about him. And so I said, okay, where was this? And my brother said, at the house. At the house. But we're at the hospital now. And so I got in the car and I drove to the hospital. I get to the hospital and my brother's outside holding back tears, and he's. He's 10 years younger than me. He was. He was much stronger than I was. I was crying. I was bawling like a little child, just crying. What has she done? Why didn't she leave him? I. You told him to leave him. I ran in and the people were there at the hospital, and they. And they ask you all the important questions about her, you know, like, does she have insurance? Does she have medical insurance? And I go, don't you want to know her blood type? They said, no, we need to know her insurance type. And they wouldn't help her until we proved we had insurance, which we didn't. So I said, use my credit card and just pay for whatever. And they said, it might be very expensive. I said, no, it doesn't matter. Money's no cost. This is. Money's no. Money's no. No object. This is my mother. Just take the money. And they said, but we need to do X rays. It could cost a thousand. I said, take the thousand. And they said, well, we need to do blood tests and we might do surgery. It might cost 10,000. I said, take the 10,000. They said, it might be a lot of money if she has to go in icu. I said, just do it. They said, but it could cost a fortune. I said, well, how much? How much? Because, I mean, we don't want it to be too much. Because, I mean, like, I still want my money, and she's cool and everything, but she's lived a great life, I feel. And I think she would understand. She wouldn't want for me to be broke. And she. She didn't, like, survive in surgery. Like, I think she wouldn't want that. So tell me when it gets to, like, more than, like, like a hundred thousand. And then we'll. Then we'll re. Evaluate this relationship and everything around us. And. And then they said, no, it'll only cost a few thousand. I said, well, then the money's no object. Take the thousands. Take the thousands and save my mother. Take it all, but not all. Just take what I said before. But just imagine it's all. And so then my mom was there and she was bleeding, and I was crying and My brother was there whole like, it's going to be okay, it's going to be okay. And he told me the story. Apparently this man came to the house while my mom was there coming back from church. Very ironically, I feel, because you just come from church. Church is the place where you, you almost go and re up your ante of good things, you know, you go there and you go, hey, give me more good things for one more week, please. And then she came back and then now bad thing immediately. And I was just like, ah, you let us down, Jesus. That was a bit of a slip up. You should have protected her at least until Monday. I mean, on the street, Sunday, that's just, that's just major letdown in terms of like, God, I was very disappointed by that. And I let him know on many occasions as I re upped my auntie. But anyway, I go off the topic and, and so, so my brother told me the story. He came to the house and he said, I've had enough of this. I've heard you want to leave me. You will not leave me. And then he pulled out a gun and then he fired, fired the shots at her. And. And miraculously, four of the bullets refused to fire. They just, just fell out of the front of the gun and fell onto the floor, just totally not discharged, which was very weird. I think that was Jesus, like, he was like, four bullets, then everything else. He's like, look, man, I can't work miracles. I mean, I can, but this is like bullets and wine are very different. So he stopped four bullets. So only one entered my mom's head, came into the back of her head, and then out the front by her nose. So it ripped her nose to shreds. And so she was in the hospital bleeding from her face. And I was there panicking, what are you gonna do? And my mom was there and gasping for blood, going, oh, don't worry, don't worry. I was like, I'm worried, I'm worried. I was, Clyde, she's the one bleeding, but I'm crying like, oh, I'm in so much pain. I'm in so much pain. She's like, it's okay, it's okay. I'm like, it's not okay. You're bleeding out your face, lady. This is not okay. And it reminded me of the first time I saw my mom's tampons as a little child, because that was the first time I saw my mom bleed. And I remember going, this is. You're not okay, you're gonna die. And she said, no, this is what happens. And I came over there, but then, like, this was like, no, this is not what happens because you're bleeding out your face now, and it looks like it'll last more than seven days, so this is a problem. And we sat there and we cried together, my brother and I, and. And then my mom. My mom miraculously survived. The bullet went through her, missing everything, her spine, her. Her nerves, everything came out the front, and it just ripped her nose to shreds. And I remember standing in the recovery room with her when we just. And, you know, she regained consciousness. And the doctor came and he said, it's a miracle. It's a miracle you have survived. The bullets did no damage just to your face. And we can have plastic surgery if you want. And my mom said, no, no surgery. I'll keep it the way it is as a reminder of what has happened to me. And I remember looking at her and I went, wow, what a hero. What a hero. Sort of ugly hero because the nose is weird, but still a hero. And she's my mom, so I don't care. And. And I'll never forget. Just like, I guess my inspiration, she looked at me and. And my mom and I look very alike. Just, she's like the darker version of me because she's black. And she looked at me and this was the aftermath. Everyone had just been quiet for a long time. And she looked and she said, you know what this means now, right? And I said, no, what does it mean? And she said, well, now you're undisputedly the best looking person in the family. And she said, there's a bright side to everything. And there was. And she's cool now. And the man who shot her is in jail. And thanks to Jesus, there were no more than one bullet. And this is my story. Thank you very much. I want to be fast I want to be slow I want somewhere to go home I want to be high I want to be low I want it all, you know? I want to be good I want to be bad I need some satisfaction I want to be up I want to be down I need a new direction Somewhere in summer Somewhere it's always springing.

[Kevin Allison]

Well, that is all for this week, folks. Don't forget that. If you haven't started following us on Twitter and Facebook yet, please follow us and join the conversation. We we are riskshow both places and on Twitter. I'm hekevinalison. If you haven't checked out the educational opportunities that we provide through our [e-mail] check that out. We do one on one coaching over Skype. We do a video lecture series that you can take in your time online called Storytelling for Business. And of course, we do group workshops here in New York City. Other than that, folks, today's the day. Take a risk.

[Kristen Bell]

Somewhere it's always green Somewhere it's always great Somewhere it's always raining Somewhere it's always free Somewhere it's always free Somewhere it's always free the sound where it's always free. Was it a scary situation to you?

[Kevin Allison]

Scary as seven dicks in a six dick salsa.

[Kristen Bell]

Sa.