Podcast Summary: "I'm Gay and Pets Are My Only Friends: RISK! Reacts"

Podcast Information:

• Title: RISK!
• Host/Author: Kevin Allison
• Description: A platform where individuals share bold and personal true stories, moderated by Kevin Allison. Episodes are a blend of humor, heartache, and genuine human experiences.
• Episode: I'm Gay and Pets Are My Only Friends: RISK! Reacts
• Release Date: June 25, 2025

Introduction

In this special episode of RISK! Reacts, host Kevin Allison delves into a deeply personal and poignant story shared by Fabian Godinez. The episode is part of RISK!'s June Pride Month series, highlighting diverse queer experiences. This summary encapsulates Fabian's heartfelt journal entries from his teenage years, his journey of coming out, his relationship with his pets, and the unwavering support from his family.

Fabian Godinez's Story

Background and Family Dynamics

Fabian begins by setting the stage of his upbringing in San Diego, emphasizing his Mexican immigrant parents' aspirations for their children to attain a better future through education. His parents' efforts to protect him and his siblings from negative influences highlight the cultural nuances of their household.

"My sister got pregnant at 17, and she didn't want all the attention on her, so she said, 'At least I'm not gay like Fabian.' And after that, my life was awesome."
— Fabian Godinez [04:22]

Coming Out and Emotional Turmoil

The turning point in Fabian's narrative revolves around his older sister revealing his sexuality to their parents. This revelation triggers a cascade of emotions and fear, rooted in stories of discrimination and violence faced by gay individuals in Mexico.

"After that, it was just a very emotional roller coaster where she started crying and telling me how she was worried for my safety..."
— Fabian Godinez [05:11]

Coping Mechanisms: Pets and Journaling

Feeling unaccepted, Fabian turns to his pets for solace. His journals become a sanctuary where he expresses his innermost thoughts, fears, and aspirations. The entries vividly depict his teenage mindset, blending everyday concerns with deeper emotional struggles.

"Cheekies keeps me alive. She keeps me going. I love her."
— Fabian Godinez [08:50]

Loss and Grief

A significant portion of Fabian's journals details the illness and subsequent loss of his dog, Pookie. This loss not only magnifies his feelings of isolation but also underscores the profound bond between him and his pets.

"Pookie, you could have lived a wonderful life with me. Even if I only saw you two days healthy and two days sick."
— Fabian Godinez [08:50]

Family Support and Acceptance

Despite the initial turmoil, Fabian's parents reveal their unconditional love and support. His father's heartfelt assurance reinforces the strength of their familial bond.

"No matter who you are, I will always love you."
— Fabian Godinez [14:48]

Future Aspirations and Self-Reflection

Fabian's later entries reflect his aspirations to create a positive impact, such as founding an animal shelter, and his journey towards self-acceptance and understanding.

"I want to be known for something good. Create a local shelter of rescued animals and run it and go and say I'm gay and proud..."
— Fabian Godinez [15:46]

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Fabian Godinez:

  • "Are you gay?" [05:11]
  • "I love my dogs." [10:33]
  • "I have faith she will get better." [08:23]
  • "I want to experience true love." [17:35]

• Kevin Allison:

  • "It's so beautiful and impressive to like. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah." [10:33]
  • "It's just so beautiful that there's this relationship with the dog there." [14:00]

Host Reactions and Insights

Kevin Allison provides a heartfelt and analytical response to Fabian's story. He reflects on the emotional depth and authenticity of the journal entries, highlighting the universal themes of identity, acceptance, and loss.

• On Emotional Honesty:

  "It's really beautiful and impressive to like... it's really beautiful and impressive..." [16:19]

• On Familial Support:

  "I'm so happy that ultimately things seem to have turned out well with his family..." [16:19]

• On Coping Mechanisms:

  "The relationship with the dog there comes in as a real support... the dog is there for him." [16:19]

Kevin draws parallels to his own experiences, emphasizing the importance of support systems during challenging times. He praises Fabian's vulnerability and the constructive way he processed his emotions through journaling and his bond with his pets.

Conclusion

This episode of RISK! Reacts masterfully intertwines a young individual's journey of self-discovery with the unwavering support of family and pets. Fabian Godinez's story is a testament to resilience, the power of honest storytelling, and the significance of unconditional love. Kevin Allison's insightful reactions further enrich the narrative, offering listeners a profound understanding of the complexities involved in coming out and coping with personal loss.

Additional Journal Entries

Towards the end of the episode, additional entries from Fabian's journals are shared, providing a glimpse into his continued personal growth and experiences post the initial narrative arc.

• April 30, 2011:

  "Yesterday, after the bonfire, I had my friend Jonathan, a white marine, pick me up. So I returned the favor by blowing him behind a church in Escondido."
  — Fabian Godinez [27:40]

• December 15, 2011:

  "I have had a boyfriend called Anthony who is 38, 20 years older than me. But I just see him as a friend and I want to be young, wild and free."
  — Fabian Godinez [28:38]

These entries add layers to Fabian's evolving understanding of relationships and his own identity, showcasing his continued quest for authenticity and personal fulfillment.

Connect with Fabian:

• Instagram: @fabeg

Additional Resources:

• Mortified Podcast: Although currently on hiatus, Mortified offers over 250 episodes and frequent live events. Visit getmortified.com for more information.

Engage with RISK! Reacts:

• Website: risk-show.com
• YouTube: RISK! Show

Note: This summary aims to encapsulate the essence of the episode, highlighting the emotional depth and transformative journey of Fabian Godinez, as well as the thoughtful reflections provided by Kevin Allison.