Immigrant Stories #1

Summary

Podcast Summary: RISK! Episode "Immigrant Stories #1"

Podcast Information:

• Title: RISK!
• Host: Kevin Allison
• Episode: Immigrant Stories #1
• Release Date: January 14, 2025
• Description: RISK! invites listeners to experience authentic, uncensored true stories through the lens of immigrants and their families. Hosted by Kevin Allison, this episode marks the beginning of a new series dedicated to amplifying immigrant voices.

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1. Introduction to Immigrant Stories Episode

Kevin Allison opens the episode by introducing the theme of immigration, inviting listeners who are immigrants, children of immigrants, or loved ones of immigrants to share their personal narratives. He emphasizes the significance of storytelling in humanizing diverse experiences and fostering understanding.

Kevin Allison [04:03]: "This is Admiral Dele Abiadun behind me now. And this is our 750th episode... This week's episode Immigrant Stories Number one."

2. Capital Storytelling and Diana Medina

Diana Medina, a workshop facilitator with Capital Storytelling based in Sacramento, joins Kevin to discuss the organization's role in empowering immigrant voices. Capital Storytelling conducts workshops and organizes live events where immigrants can share their stories in supportive environments.

Vivian Narciso Triano [05:04]: "Capital Storytelling... empowers and amplifies the voices of immigrants and children of immigrants all over the Sacramento area."

Diana highlights the collaborative efforts with local universities, public radio stations, and community groups to create a platform where immigrants can confidently share their life experiences.

3. First Story: William Tran – "Golden Thread"

William Tran, an educator and storytelling ambassador with Capital Storytelling, shares his poignant narrative titled "Golden Thread." His story intricately weaves family traditions, personal aspirations, and the challenges of immigration.

Summary: William reminisces about family road trips to San Francisco during his childhood, emphasizing the unity and rituals that strengthened familial bonds. These trips fostered his love for the city and culminated in his decision to attend San Francisco State University. His narrative traces his journey as a devoted Golden State Warriors fan, the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on his life, and the emotional turmoil of relocating from San Francisco to Sacramento to provide a stable home for his newborn daughter.

The climax of William's story revolves around a poignant moment at a Warriors game where he receives distressing news about his father's health. This event triggers a deep emotional response, leading to his father's passing and William's enduring grief.

Notable Quotes:

• William Tran [08:14]: "Traditions are the thread that ties people together."
• William Tran [17:50]: "Reunited. Cause we understood. I was back at home."
• William Tran [21:35]: "If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him... How I love, love, love to dance with my father again."

4. Discussion on the Importance of Storytelling for Immigrant Voices

Post William's story, Kevin Allison and Vivian Narciso Triano delve into the transformative power of storytelling. They underscore how sharing individual narratives dismantles stereotypes and fosters empathy, making abstract issues tangible and relatable.

Kevin Allison [07:02]: "You can't point at a group of people and just call them them and come up with, like, archetypal shadow, boogeyman sorts of stuff."

Vivian Narciso Triano [07:03]: "Stories really get us to that more universal human place."

They discuss how storytelling bridges cultural divides, allowing people from diverse backgrounds to connect on a fundamental human level.

5. Second Story: Vivian Narciso Triano – "Mom's Final Gift"

Vivian Narciso Triano presents her heartfelt story, "Mom's Final Gift," which explores themes of loss, unexpected blessings, and the intricate balance between grief and new beginnings.

Summary: Vivian narrates her experience of discovering an unexpected pregnancy amidst the backdrop of her mother's battle with metastatic breast cancer. The story intertwines the anguish of impending loss with the joy of impending motherhood. Vivian reflects on her mother's meticulous care and the cultural nuances of Filipino family life, emphasizing the emotional complexity of juggling personal milestones with familial responsibilities. Her journey through grief leads to profound self-discovery and a deeper understanding of human emotions, which she strives to impart to her children.

Notable Quotes:

• Vivian Narciso Triano [30:10]: "Mom's final gift was grief's first lesson. A call to come home to my body."
• Vivian Narciso Triano [35:46]: "I had been simultaneously holding both death and new life."
• Vivian Narciso Triano [45:04]: "Look her up on Instagram at Mama Triano."

6. Reflections and Conclusion

Concluding the episode, Kevin and Diana reflect on the profound impact of the featured stories. They express gratitude towards storytellers like William and Vivian for their openness and vulnerability, which enrich the collective understanding of immigrant experiences. The discussion highlights the essential role of platforms like Capital Storytelling in nurturing and showcasing these vital narratives.

Vivian Narciso Triano [44:01]: "My story makes me want to call my mother because of the beautiful connection she illustrates."

Kevin reiterates the importance of supporting such initiatives and encourages listeners to contribute to the podcast’s mission through Patreon.

7. Additional Information

• Support and Membership: The episode encourages listeners to support future storytelling initiatives by becoming patrons on Patreon, ensuring the continuation of impactful programming.

  Kevin Allison [28:53]: "We need your support for this sort of programming where we highlight the stories of some of the folks whose voices so greatly need to be heard in this era."

• Acknowledgments: Special thanks are extended to Capital Storytelling, Diana Medina, and the storytellers for their compelling contributions.

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Conclusion: RISK! episode "Immigrant Stories #1" serves as a powerful testament to the resilience, love, and complexity inherent in immigrant experiences. Through William Tran's and Vivian Narciso Triano's evocative narratives, listeners gain intimate insights into the trials and triumphs of forging new lives while preserving cultural identities. The episode not only entertains but also educates, fostering a deeper empathy and appreciation for the diverse tapestry of immigrant stories.

Transcript

[Kevin Allison]

Hey folks, this is Kevin. On this week's episode of Risk, you'll hear William Tran put your pinky rings.

[William Tran]

Up to the moon. What you trying to do? Get hyped?

[Kevin Allison]

That and more. But first, this episode is about immigrants. If you are an immigrant or a child of immigrants, or heck, maybe a loved one of an immigrant, pitch us your story. All you need to know is at risk-show.com submissions. We'll be right back.

[Diana Medina]

Start fresh in the new Year as you set resolutions for 2024, consider how learning a new language can enrich your life, whether through travel, career advancement or cultural appreciation. Keeping in mind everything you've learned over the last year, it's time to build on that. And learning a new language can help you connect with others and explore new cultures. With that in mind, there's no better tool than Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program available on desktop and mobile. Rosetta Stone immerses you in the language so you truly learn to think, speak and understand it naturally. With Rosetta Stone's intuitive approach, there are no English translations, you're fully immersed, and the built in Truaccent feature acts like a personal accent coach, giving you real time feedback to make sure you sound just right. Don't put off learning that language. There's no better time than right now to get started. Start the new year off with a resolution you can reach today. Listeners can take advantage of this Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off, visit RosettaStone.com RS10. That's 50% off unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your Life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com RS10.

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[Diana Medina]

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[William Tran]

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[Diana Medina]

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[William Tran]

For whatever you're into right now. You know, like the sneakers that make office hours feel like happy hour, the.

[Diana Medina]

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[William Tran]

The many sides of you from daydreamer to multitasker and everything in between.

[Diana Medina]

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[William Tran]

At your DSW store or dsw dot com.

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[Kevin Allison]

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[Kevin Allison]

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[Kevin Allison]

Yeah.

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[Kevin Allison]

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[Diana Medina]

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[Kevin Allison]

Now here's the show.

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Risk.

[Kevin Allison]

Hello, folks, this is Risk, the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share. I'm Kevin Allison. This is Admiral Dele Abiadun behind me now. And this is our 750th episode. I can't believe I'm saying that. And more importantly, we're calling this week's episode Immigrant Stories Number one. Now, both of the stories you're going to hear today come to us from Capital Storytelling, a few fabulous storytelling organization based in Sacramento. We love Capital Storytelling so much. And I have a co host with me today for the episode. It's Diana Medina, a workshop facilitator with Capital Storytelling. Hello, Diana.

[Vivian Narciso Triano]

Hi, Kevin. Thank you so much for having me.

[Kevin Allison]

Oh, it's great to have you. Tell me a little bit about what you guys do over there at Capital Storytelling, helping immigrants share their stories.

[Vivian Narciso Triano]

Absolutely. For the last three years, Capital Storytelling has had an initiative around immigrant storytelling. We aim to empower and amplify the voices of immigrants and children of immigrants all over the Sacramento area. The way we do this is through a series of workshops held throughout the year where we then are able to recruit our performers for our October live show that happens on Immigrants Day in partnership with local university, public radio station and other community folks in the area. And it's a really wonderful way to bring people together to share things they might not normally share and have them do it in a really beautiful and supportive public setting.

[Kevin Allison]

That's beautiful. And the way we got to know you here at Risk was from your own story shared about creating the little wooden popsicle stick Ferris wheel that your dad. That your dad was the actual creator of.

[Vivian Narciso Triano]

Absolutely.

[William Tran]

Yes.

[Vivian Narciso Triano]

He won first place in a math fair. That was my performance from the very first Immigrant Storytelling evening event that we had. And since then we have moved on to have this event quite a few more times. We're planning the next one now, and it's really been a joy to be able to see this effort grow.

[Kevin Allison]

That's beautiful. And we were inspired by you all. This is the first of a new series that will be running. More episodes like this one will come soon. We just feel it's more important than ever to feature these kinds of stories. We wanna raise up the voices of people, you know, who might be at risk of having their lives uprooted if recent threats by political figures become a reality in the coming years. You can't point at a group of people and just call them them and come up with, like, archetypal shadow, boogeyman sorts of stuff. If you're hearing their individual stories, then all of a sudden they become human beings to you.

[Vivian Narciso Triano]

Absolutely.

[Kevin Allison]

Yeah.

[Vivian Narciso Triano]

And it also connect across cultures because so many things are very common when we think about how to understand our elders and our family members and people we have differing views from. You know, stories really get us to that more universal human place.

[Kevin Allison]

That is amazing. Yeah, you're so right. Nothing helps you to get a feel for culture like storytelling.

[Vivian Narciso Triano]

Yeah.

[Kevin Allison]

Yeah. So tell us what we're about to hear.

[Vivian Narciso Triano]

Yeah. So we are going to be hearing in a little bit from Vivian Narciso Triano, but before that, a story from William Tran, who is an educator and facilitator and one of my favorite people. He is a storytelling ambassador with Capital Storytelling. He also is a storytelling instructor, and he really does bring the joy. So here's William Trant's story, Golden Thread.

[William Tran]

Traditions are the thread that ties people together. As a child, my family would go to San Francisco twice a month, and everybody had a role to play. My mother would pack the car with food and water. My dad will always bring a magazine to read in the car. My sister had to finish her breakfast before she left the dining room table, and I had to use the bathroom before I left the house. But as soon as that car was turned on, so was the radio. And the radio station that was always on was 100.1 KZST, also known as Sonoma's County Radio station, me and my sister played this game. Whenever we recognize a song that came on, we will sing it at the top of our lungs. Back when I was a child, before life removed all of the innocence, I must be honest with all of you. My sister has the prettier, lovelier singing voice. But I also must admit to you that I sing with way more soul. Now. These trips to the city were meaningful for me because my father worked odd hours growing up. When I was at school, he'd be at home sleeping. And then when he was on his way to work, I'll be coming back home from school. And once in the blue moon, we will cross path. And then we would say hi and bye to each other within a millisecond and we're off on our way. So these family trips provided an opportunity where everyone in my family was in the same place at the same time, going to the same location. My favorite part of this trip was driving over the Golden Gate Bridge. My father, as soon as the car would hit the Golden Gate Bridge, would crank down his window and the cool, crisp air of the bay would flood into the car. I hated this as a kid because I always wore shorts. Nothing really changed. And then the temperature of the car would drop by 15 degrees. But my dad would stick his hand out and go, ah, lang lang song song. Which meant cool and refreshing. You know what, dad? If you want to freeze your ass off, you go ahead. You do you. These family trips occur all the way from elementary school until the time I graduated high school. When I graduated high school, it was expected of me to go to college. However, all these family trips made me want to live in the city by the bay. And then, boop, A light bulb went off in my head. I realized that if I applied to a college in San Francisco, I could live in the city of my dreams. So I applied to San Francisco State University, and through divine intervention, I got accepted. I was proud that I got to live in the city of my dreams, and I wanted to show off my pride. So I did it in the best way that I knew how. I decided to root for a sports team. So I became a Golden State warriors fan in 2006. Yes. And then as a Golden State warriors fan, I promised myself that I would wear blue and yellow whenever NBA season would start. And I will go to at least one warriors game every season. Honestly, I would have gone to more, but I was a broke college student, so one was all that I could afford. My pinnacle of being a Warriors fan was 2019. Not because the warriors won three NBA championships by that time, but I was able to go to six warriors games a month, and I was living on cloud nine. Unfortunately, my life was turned upside down like the rest of the world because of the COVID 19 pandemic. No longer was I able to cheer and celebrate with 18,000 other people in an open arena. But now I was quarantined in my small San Francisco apartment with my wife. And even though we were Socially isolated from everybody else, we somehow welcomed our newborn daughter into the world. Shout out to all the quarantine babies out there. And lastly, we had the opportunity to buy a house. But in order to provide a home for my daughter, I will have to leave the place that I call home for the last 17 years. The place where I had countless childhood memories. The place where I found the love of my life, my wife. The place where I thought I would turn old and gray like Carl the Fog. So I did what I had to do, and I left my heart in San Francisco. Within a month and a half, we moved from San Francisco to Sacramento. And I spent so much time packing that I didn't have a proper goodbye. I felt like everything was so abrupt and I missed the city by the bay. And every time I close my eyes, I think of you. After two years of the pandemic, me and my wife decided to reintegrate into society. And we thought the best way to do so was to go to a Warriors game. So we booked tickets to go watch the warriors in February 2022. And on the day of the game, I packed the car with food and water. My wife dressed my daughter up in the warrior shirt that I assisted on, and we hopped into the car and made our way there. Put your pinky rings up to the moon. What you trying to do, get hyped? But I actually didn't know how excited I got until I actually saw the Golden Gate Bridge. When we got to the Golden Gate Bridge, it was clear and sunny. Those once in a blue moon occasion, right? What? And as the tire of our car hits the Golden Gate Bridge, I roll down the window and whoosh. The cold, crisp air of the bay floods my car and the temperature of the car drops by like 15 degrees. But I have never, ever felt so warm. Reunited and it feels so good. Reunited. Cause we understood. I was back at home. As we drove to Chase Center, I get a phone call. Bring. Bring. It's from my sister. Hello? I answered the phone. Hey, what you doing? I'm going to the warriors game. What's up? Oh, just to let you know, dad went to the hospital. Dad went to the hospital? Is he okay? Yeah, they took him to the hospital as a precaution because his blood pressure dropped. But now they're taking to hospice. Hospice? Wait, isn't that where you go to die? Is that going to die? No, no. They're just taking there as a precaution. Okay, I'll keep you updated. All right, bye. Click. Now, sometimes I get my word mixed up and jumbled up. And I need to find a way to make sure that I understood what I thought I understood. So I checked my wife to make sure if I had my understanding right. So I asked my wife, hey, did you hear that Dad's gonna die? Nah, it sounds like there's something up with him. But you know what? It sounds like they're taking him to the hospital as a precaution. Yeah, that's what I heard too. Now, health scares is nothing new to my dad. I remember one summer, he lifted up his shirt, he had a scar that went from his Adam apple all the way down to his belly button because he had to flee Vietnam. He got on the boat, but then fell off the boat and he got hit by the boat. Then he had to go to the Philippines to get stitched up. When he finally got to the land of the free, he got to do whatever he want. And he went to the golden arches of McDonald's. And man, oh man, did he really love the Big Mac and fish fillet. Unfortunately for him, his body did not love the high sodium content that he was intaking. And he had two strokes. His second stroke left him partially paralyzed on his left side to where he had no mobility. He slipped and fell and broke his hip, then had to live in his senior home. But time and time again, after all the trials and tribulations, he found a way to get through all his health scare. You know what? This is just another health scare that dad is going through. He'll be okay. He's a fighter. He's a warrior. Now, I had no idea how I made it to Chase Center. Luckily for me, technology is brand new and they had this thing called Ceres that guided me there. As I got to Chase Center, I'm ecstatic because I see seas of yellow, seas of blue, people walking to the arena. I drive into the parking lot, get out of my car, slanted and let.

[Vivian Narciso Triano]

Out, lets go Warriors.

[William Tran]

And as soon as the last syllable leaves my lips, I get the chill that runs up and down my spine. I look up and I'm quickly reminded of how quick the San Francisco fog can roll through the bay. Unfortunately for me, Carl the fog did not stay outside of the arena, but he followed me inside as well. I had no idea what happened at that game because I was too busy looking on my phone. I was checking to see if I got a text message, and the only thing that I can remember is that the warriors lost, which I thought was very fucking fitting. As I made my way back to my car, I see that my sister has sent me a text message. Hey, just to let you know, dad went back to the senior home. What a sigh of relief. You know, they wouldn't let my dad go back to the senior home if nothing was wrong. So me, my wife and my daughter hopped in the car and we drove back to Sacramento in silence. Bring Brring. Brring. I see that my phone is ringing and I went to go pick it up. It's three in the morning and it's my sister. Hello? Hey. Dad just died. I had no idea how long I was on the phone with my sister. And I had no idea how long I was even talking to her. Because when I first started talking to her, it was pitch black. But by the time I ended my conversation, it was bright. And as I began to woke up, all these stars started to pop into my mind. Does dad live a happy life? Does dad know that I loved him? Does dad have any memories that he was happy of? I can't believe I missed dad again. I realized that right next to me, my phone had a little bit of juice and I needed some music to kind of fill the space. I pick it up, Click on the YouTube app, and chuck it across the couch. And the next thing I hear is if I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him. I'll play a song that would never, never end How I love, love, love to dance with my father again. It's been two years since my dad has passed, and the grieving process is hard because a part of me wants to move on, but the other side, I want to break down and cry Ooh, I'm twisted. One side of me is telling me that I need to move on but on the other side, I want to break down and cry. Music is my last thread to my father. So in memory of Hua Tran, I will sing with soul to my last dying days. Thank you.

[Kevin Allison]

Back when I was a child before life removed all the innocence My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then spin me around till I fell asleep.

[Carvana Ad]

Then.

[Kevin Allison]

Up the stairs he would carry me and I knew for sure I was.

[William Tran]

Love.

[Kevin Allison]

If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him I'd play a song that would never, ever end How I'd love, love to dance with my father again we'll be right back, folks. This episode of Risk is sponsored by BetterHelp. Listen, have you thought about what you want your 2025 story to be? Be? You know, a therapist can be like a story coach who is Your editorial partner helping you write new chapters and create the meaning in the story you are living into the story you deserve to live. I remember in therapy, gosh, this must have been like 10 years ago. A therapist led me through brainstorming on myths in my life, things that I believed that followed a certain storyline that were just not necessarily true. That was really profound to kind of step out of the fishbowl and reassess. I've definitely learned positive coping skills from my thoughts, therapy and boundaries, boundaries with others and with myself. Therapy is not just for people who have experienced serious trauma. It's a way of helping anyone to be your better self. And the thing about better help is it's completely online. It's affordable and convenient. It's a network of more than 3,30,000 credentialed therapists. Lots of specialties. You can look for someone who meets your specific needs and you can switch therapists anytime at no extra cost. So write your story with better help. Visit betterhelp.com risk today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H E L P Risk. Hey, I'm Ben Stiller. I'm Adam Scott and we make a TV show called Severance. On January 17th, Severance is back for season two on Apple TV and we can't wait for you guys to see it. And before the premiere, Ben and I are going to be binging season one and putting out daily recap podcasts. Yep, each weekday beginning January 7th, we'll be dropping an episode featuring a exclusive behind the scenes tidbits and brilliant insights from our cast and crew and us, Patricia Arquette, Britt Lauer, Zach Cherry, John Turturro, the list goes on. All your favorite Lumen employees, their friends, families, enemies in your feed every single weekday. And here's the best part. After that, we're going to keep going. Tune in weekly as we recap every episode of season two. The podcast drops on the same day the episode comes out. It's the Severance podcast with Ben and Adam on Apple Podcasts, the Odyssey app, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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[William Tran]

We're back.

[Kevin Allison]

This is Risk. This is Cariocas de Rio behind me now.

[Vivian Narciso Triano]

And we just heard from William Tran, whose writing can be found at the story of your voice.substack.com having shared many a space with William, I can attest to the fact that no matter the situation, he is always singing, joyful and full of soul in everything he does and every story he shares.

[Kevin Allison]

I believe it. I got that impression. All right folks, we need your support for this sort of programming where we highlight the stories of some of the folks whose voices so greatly need to be heard in this era. Over on our Patreon, we're planning a lot of new things for 2025, so become a member at patreon.com risk or you can buy a membership for a [e-mail] risk gift.

[Vivian Narciso Triano]

Next we're going to hear from Vivian Narcisa Triano, who told this moving story at Capital Storytelling's show with the theme Our Stories Matter. My favorite part about Vivian's story is how thoughtfully and creatively she demonstrates that storytelling is about embodiment. Our bodies hold countless untold stories, and we just need to reconnect with them to uncover them. Here's Vivian now with her story. Mom's final gift.

[Carvana Ad]

Sorry, y'all, I'm already getting emotional. I'm sitting at my desk at work staring at two different pregnancy tests. They're both positive. Holy shit. I'm pregnant. How is that even possible? I mean, I know how I got pregnant, but my husband and I had been on the rocks for a while and we hadn't had sex in like four months. Oh, shit. How long have I been pregnant? You see, mom died a little over a week ago, and we were all there in the big ass house that we had bought in white suburbia to spend more time with mom in her last days. She had battled metastatic breast cancer for 13 years, and we knew that her time in the physical world was coming close to an end. We had bought that house with my parents less than a year ago so that I, the Panganai, the oldest daughter, could help with her medical care and so that she could get gifted more time with her apo, her grandson. When things started to take a turn for the worse, I remember sitting on the corner of her bed. I was the one to tell her she didn't have to keep doing treatment anymore. I was the one to tell her she didn't have to suffer. And so we were all there when she left us for the ancestral realm bright and early in the morning, much like the road trips we used to take with my parents as kids, she was still with us 10 days ago. And now all I wanted to do was tell her this news. That after the thousands of dollars that we had spent on in vitro fertilization to conceive Ethan, the literal light of her life, I somehow got pregnant again naturally. Bum fallopian tube be damned. Mom is the only surviving child of her parents together. And so she had lost both her mom and her dad before any of her major adult milestones like marriage, pregnancy and childbirth. And so she loved to celebrate moments like this with us. She never forgot a birthday, always acknowledged an anniversary. You know Filipinos, they don't tell you I love you. The old school ones don't. Anyway, they'll ask you, did you eat? So I'd get a ping on my phone, a knock. Happy birthday, the text would say. I made your favorite kare kare. Accompanied by a photo of a steaming hot bowl of oxtail peanut stew over rice, as if to entice me to come home even though I live states away. This new baby had been on board the whole entire time that we were preparing for her death, and I had no idea. Back at my desk at work, I thought back to the night before. My husband had been away on business again and so I was solo parenting and had just put Ethan down to bed. I went in to take off my work clothes when I glanced in the full length mirror in the bathroom door. Hmm. I know I've been feeling kind of bloated, but this wasn't my normal postpartum muffin tub. And then something in my mind whispered, fundal height. That pregnancy measurement that midwives take to track uterine growth in pregnancy. And then I had instant flashbacks of the photos that I had taken monthly after conceiving Ethan to track my growing belly. I was alone in my bathroom in my underwear when it clicked. Could this be it? Could this be true? But I wouldn't be able to know for certain until I could stop by the store the next morning to pick up a couple of tests. If you've done ivf, you know how absolutely neurotic it can get to track data. Ovulation cycles, med injection schedules, blood drawn ultrasound appointments. In my first pregnancy, I knew exactly how the dates and data aligned with all of my symptoms. So how could I miss the signs? I had chalked up missing the months of my period to extreme stress, which happens sometimes, and frankly, I had plenty to be stressed about. The world was still navigating a global pandemic. My mom was dying, my marriage was failing, I was a new mom to a toddler, and I was still working full time in corporate health care while I was bombarded daily by images of violence against black and brown bodies in communities not unlike the white conservative neighborhood that we had just moved into.

[William Tran]

Cool.

[Carvana Ad]

So my subconscious mind did the only thing that she knew to protect herself and that was to come out of my body to dissociate so that I could somehow function in this shitstorm. Back at my office, I was sitting at my desk with two positive pregnancy tests and a coworker sonographer three doors down from my office. I had asked to speak with my manager privately so I could tell her the news and to get put on our ultrasound schedule asap. And she had book an amniocentesis because if I was pregnant, I was at least 20 weeks along and would be considered late to care by this point. So an hour Later I was reclined in the bed three doors down from my office with my black and white striped work dress hiked beneath my boobs as she draped across my knees while my coworker sonographer Melissa, introduced me to my second son, Luca, in the monitor overhead. He was 20 weeks and two days when I met him. He was 18 weeks and six days when mom died. Now, for someone who wasn't feeling much, I certainly had a lot of feels to feel in this moment. Shock that I could even get pregnant again without reproductive science. Elation that my big kid would get a sibling after all. And let's be real, low key relief about this budget baby. Trepidation about what this would mean for my already strained relationship and a new wave of grief, not just of having lost my mom, but of having lost the opportunity to tell her about this miracle. In all my time working and training in clinical genetics and in corporate health care had erased all beliefs in miracles, in the divine. When mom got sick again, I had stopped attending mass because frankly, I had been blaming God. But when I thought back to that moment with my family around my mom's deathbed and knowing the exact moment that her spirit had left her physical body in this plane, I had realized that I had been simultaneously holding both death and new life. And no dose of science or logic could reconcile the synchronicity that my second son's birthday was only a week away from Mom's. Mom loved to give gifts. In fact, when she and dad would come home from their travels abroad, they would come back with a full second suitcase of pasalubong or trinkets and gifts for us and every single one of their friends. But Mom's final gift to me was grief's first lesson. A call to come home to my body. A plea to be present in this moment. And it was in that gift that I had recognized that this wasn't the only time that I had been living out of my body. That in fact I had spent most of my life deadening to survive, being the firstborn brown daughter of immigrants, navigating the isolating path of American life with no mentorship. And I realized that in order for me to break this cycle of numbing, I had to learn where in my body my feelings lived. Since mom died, I feel like I've lived multiple life cycles already. I stood in the presence of death, held new life, moved out of that big ass house, filed for divorce, and owned the title deed and mortgage to my own home, all while learning the dense weight of grief in my chest the echoing hollow of loneliness in my gut, the lemony brightness of joy for my crown, and the radiating warmth of gratitude from my heart. These are the lessons that I've dedicated to teaching my children so that Ethan, Luca, and their children can know and feel the full range of human emotion. Though he may not remember her, if you ask Ethan where his Lola is, he will tell you with conviction that she lives in his heart. And Luca knows that when we go to the cemetery to visit her, we always bring with us flowers and adang our food offering so that we can sit and snack while we talk story with her. Both my kids know that just like the sun at night and the moon during the day, my mom is still with us, even though we can't see her. It's been three and a half years since mom died, and I still think about her every day. And every single day, I'm grateful for her gifting me the memory of my humanity. Now, before I get off here, Ma, I know you can hear me. I know my sink is full of dishes. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am about your funeral mass. When the priest looked over at us, I was mortified when I realized that none of us had written your eulogy. I deeply regretted not just coming up with something on the spot, but so many things were different back then. The pandemic took so much. And so I hope that standing up here today makes up for that eulogy that I forgot to write. Did you eat? Thank you.

[William Tran]

To the greatest. This gift I found. My time with you is everything.

[Kevin Allison]

All.

[William Tran]

You do is makes me proud.

[Carvana Ad]

You'Ve.

[William Tran]

Got a lot to unfold but you never give in and surely this is love you are worth it I promise to make sure you'll never fall far from your grace I hope that you know you are never too far from your purpose I hope you receive it wherever you are. I'm so thankful I've got you, you got me I'm still right you the realest love you got me off still feel right Even in.

[Kevin Allison]

This is Risk. This is Georgia Smith behind me now.

[Vivian Narciso Triano]

As a matter of fact, Vivian wrote in to say, in keeping with the gift theme, this song randomly popped up on Spotify on a hard day I was having not long after this story performance. And I could swear it was sent to me by my dead mom. I think of her when I hear it. The main thing with Vivian's story is, like, her story, every single time I've heard it, it makes me want to call my mother.

[Kevin Allison]

Oh, wow.

[Vivian Narciso Triano]

Because of the beautiful connection. She illustrates.

[Kevin Allison]

That's great.

[Vivian Narciso Triano]

Yeah, yeah. And she was so. She was in the workshop. So we coached people for a couple of months before their performance. And seeing her piece go from like 25 minutes of all sorts of things to this, like, very polished creative and descriptive piece was wonderful. And she's so illustrative in the, in her language and how she balances inner thought and external experience, which is a beautiful, hard thing to do when telling a good story.

[Kevin Allison]

That's fantastic.

[Vivian Narciso Triano]

Look her up on Instagram at Mama Triano.

[Kevin Allison]

Wonderful. Well, thank you so much, Diana.

[Vivian Narciso Triano]

Thank you. So nice to be here.

[Kevin Allison]

Yeah. Such a treat. And that is that we're so grateful to Diana and to everyone over at Capital Storytelling and we're gonna have more Immigrant Stories episodes coming soon, but that's for another day. And folks, today's the day.

[Vivian Narciso Triano]

Take a risk.

[Kevin Allison]

It's fun.