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- [00:01]
Kevin
Folks, a few years back, I started to feel like I was about 537 years old. And some days I'd look in the mirror and think, wow. Okay, Kev, you look like you're 537 years old, too. A couple years back, I had a tiny little surgery on my forehead, and the doctor said, wow, this is so great. Your wrinkles are so huge, I can just hide the scar in one of them. But now, because of one skin, OS1, people are noticing. Noticing a difference. I am looking younger. One Skin developed OS1, their proprietary peptide designed to work with the skin's biology by targeting dysfunctional cells. Clinically shown to improve the appearance of firmness, smoothness, skin tone, radiance, and the look of the fine lines. Born from over 10 years of longevity research, One Skin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin. Now, as you age, for a limited time, try one skin with 15% off using the code R I S k@OneSkin Co risk. That's 15% off OneSkin Co with the code risk. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support Risk and tell them we sent you.
- [01:30]
Virginia Munsterman
Best thing that's ever happened to you financially.
- [01:32]
Steve Emmerich
Go easy.
- [01:33]
Carvana Advertiser
Sold my car on Carvana. Amazing offer, really.
- [01:37]
Kevin
I hit 200 on a scratcher.
- [01:38]
Carvana Advertiser
Did the scratcher come to your house and hand you a check?
- [01:41]
Host/Announcer
No.
- [01:41]
Carvana Advertiser
How many scratchers did you hit to get that? I hit a button on Carvana.com once.
- [01:46]
Steve Emmerich
Okay, that's fair.
- [01:48]
Carvana Advertiser
It's like the lottery, except you always win.
- [01:51]
Kevin
Not like the lottery at all, actually.
- [01:53]
Carvana Advertiser
Exactly. Inexplicably good offers worth bragging about. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pick up. Fees may apply.
- [02:05]
Snapdragon Podcast Narrator
Did you ever wonder what it's like to live alone, hidden in the woods, not speaking to a single soul for 30 years? Or wander the desert, uncover a hidden well, and dive to the bottom of the deepest water hole for 2,000 miles. The Snapdragon podcast takes you there with amazing stories told by the people who live them with an original soundscape that drops you directly into their sho Snap judgment. Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
- [02:44]
Virginia Munsterman
When you listen to.
- [02:44]
Host/Announcer
Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone, the comedy podcast.
- [02:47]
Kevin
You learn stuff.
- [02:48]
Virginia Munsterman
I've been learning to throw a boomerang
- [02:51]
Jessica Levity
because this is the kind of thing that really gets the listeners engaged.
- [02:54]
Host/Announcer
You know, interviews with people who will make you smarter. Does the amount that you learn protect you from cognitive decline? Paula, don't catch that.
- [03:05]
Jessica Levity
Can't people just listen to the show?
- [03:06]
Virginia Munsterman
Can't they Just enjoy a delightful treehouse
- [03:09]
Jessica Levity
full of information and I think I'm bleeding.
- [03:11]
Host/Announcer
Join us and be a nobody. Hey, folks, this is Kevin. On this episode, you'll hear Steve Emmerich.
- [03:19]
Steve Emmerich
And then I hear this voice. It says, hey, there's a guy over there by that car taking a shit.
- [03:32]
Host/Announcer
Now on this episode, we bring you the first of two parts from our time live in Reno. Now, here's the show.
- [03:45]
Kevin
Hey, folks, this is Kevin in 2026,
- [03:49]
Host/Announcer
here to let you know that this
- [03:50]
Kevin
episode you're about to hear was first released in April of 2014. ENJ.
- [04:10]
Host/Announcer
Hello. We were supposed to have the theme song start up, but that didn't happen. How is everyone? Welcome, welcome, welcome. It's so great to be here. This is the first time that Risk will have ever been in Reno.
- [04:34]
Carvana Advertiser
Thank you.
- [04:34]
Host/Announcer
I am thrilled to be here. We have a really wild, weird, interesting show tonight. We've got, like, never having been to Reno, I wasn't sure exactly what to expect. But you motherfuckers bring some weird stories. How many people have heard the Risk podcast before if you don't know? Risk is the show where people tell true stories that they never thought they dare to share in public, which means that they're the kind of stories that you would not hear on npr. So listen, we have stories tonight that go to different emotional places. Some of the stories are hilarious, some are frightening, Some. Some are very, very, like, you know, sad. So it's gonna be an emotional rollercoaster ride. What I've decided to do is to give us about a 10, 15 minute intermission so that everyone can load up on more drinks. What I'm saying is get drunk. Okay, I'd like to bring our first storyteller to the stage. She was a fan of the podcast who reached out to us. She was like, I just started listening, but I love it. So her story was so fantastic that it was a thrill to work with her and get her up here. Please welcome the stage, Virginia Munsterman.
- [06:26]
Virginia Munsterman
Everyone loves a Cinderella story. My story is kind of like a Cinderella story, except if Cinderella's fairy godmother was like, a super feminist, and the prince looked more like John Goodman with a mullet and had a narcissistic personality complex. So just like, mull on that for a second. Disney's got nothing on my characters. About seven years ago, I was a junior here at the University of Nevada, Reno, and I was trying to find my path in life. I was kind of overwhelmed being in Reno. You know, the 24 hour lifestyle was rough and I was just trying to figure out where I was supposed to be. And I was kind of shy. I came from a mountain town, and I was working so hard. I had a full class schedule and working 35 hours a week as a barista, and I couldn't make ends. I was trying so hard, and I don't eat a lot. You know, I was a college student. I didn't need much. But getting down to that last 20 bucks and still having a couple of days between paychecks, that was stressing me out. So I decided to go out and find another job. And I found a job as a chiropractor's assistant. And this was, like, my big new first professional job. I was all excited about it. You know, I was going to work hard. It was going to be a resume booster. This was something that was real. It wasn't a barista. It was, you know, I got to work on a computer and dress up for work. This was a big deal at 20, you know, and so my boss was kind of a trip Dr. Henderson was. Let's see if you could blend a bodybuilder with the brain of a chemical engineer and, let's say, the unsettling charm of an AM talk show radio host, and then just, like, dump a ton of unwarranted email ego on top of that. That was my boss. So we got along great. But, you know, like I said, he was a driven guy, and he knew where he was going in life. And I was just kind of like a wandering college student. So I thought, all right, there's something I can learn from this guy. Let's see what we can do. And so I dug in, and a couple months later, I found myself on a plane to Clearwater, Florida. And we had decided together that we were going to find a way to build the practice up. We needed to make some more money because someone needed a raise. And we found this company that was based out of Clearwater, and they were selling some great new, like, innovative equipment that was going to turn chiropractic business around. And it guaranteed, like, quadruple profits within the first couple of months. Seemed too good to be true. It kind of was. But we were going to try to, you know, see if it was worth our while. And so we were making our way to Clearwater and gonna sell ourselves to the CEO. This was our. This is our meal ticket. So we show up, it's the first day of the conference. We're really excited, and we get into the first meeting, and everyone's mulling about you know, there's barely any breathing room with all the egos, and all the doctors are kind of sizing each other up. And I'm just kind of sitting in the back minding my own business. And Dr. Henderson sees the CEO and there's a hush over the crowd. And the CEO walks in. And I have never seen so many grown men lust after someone who looks like John Goodman with a mullet. I mean, it was awful. But this man had the lifestyle, you know, he was a millionaire a hundred times over, hundreds of times over. And he was just, you know, outgoing, and he was like Santa Claus, you know, he was magnetic. Everyone was drawn to him. And so my boss was just like, I need to go introduce myself. So he ran over and introduced himself, and the two of them are talking, and I'm kind of watching the interaction, just trying to figure out what's going on. And all of a sudden I see Dr. Henderson turn around and point me out in the crowd, and I catch the eye of the CEO, Dr. Daniels. And I hadn't expected this, and there's really no good way to play off once you've caught someone's eye because you can't like, go, oh, hey, yeah, I was staring at you, and you can't go, oh, just kidding, you know, because they know. So I just kind of like scratched my head and looked down and put my hair in front and continued to look, and I saw that Dr. Daniels had continued to stare and stare and stare and stare. And I was 20, and so I thought I must remind him of someone, like maybe his daughter. That's sweet. So, you know, I was still trying to play off the kind of unsettling eye catching moments and also trying to understand the weird, like, shiver that had just gone down my spine when I felt a hand on my shoulder. And I turned to look and it was Dr. Daniels. And he sat down next to me and with every ounce of suave he could muster. Well, hello, Virginia. I'm so thrilled to have you at the conference. And me, you know, being a newfound professional and all, obviously.
- [11:56]
Steve Emmerich
Oh, hi.
- [11:58]
Virginia Munsterman
Thrilled to be here. So, yeah, this is great. I mean, we're so really, you know, Like a pro. And so Dr. Daniels welcomed me again. And then he got up to go start the first speech. And my boss, Dr. Henderson, came and sat down as the lights were dimming, and he slipped me a note. And I read the note and it said, you must have really impressed him. He's invited us to dinner. I was like, hell, yeah, I impressed him. Did you just Hear that? That was amazing. So after the conference, we all gathered. There were about eight other doctors. We were going over to his house. At about that moment, he started to zero in on me, you know, again. I was 20, and I was mountain girl. Like, oh, it must remind him of his daughter. And he insisted that I drive with him alone in his car to his mansion. And I thought, okay, not a problem. And we get to his house, and he pours me wine. You're a striking woman. He escorts me around the mansion. You have gorgeous eyes. He takes me to the pier. Would you like to see some magic tricks? Okay. And I just have to say, like, that's a cute key to how old this guy was. Because he thought that magic tricks meant, like, he had game. Like, that was his. Like, you just wait. I'm totally gonna. Wow, you. Pick a card. So I'm still kind of like, I don't know what's going on here. Dr. Henderson, help. Anything? No. Okay. And we went to dinner, and he had me sit by him. And we. All the other doctors are trying to vie for his attention. You know, they want to, like, talk about business. And Dr. Daniels is just like, so, do you have a boyfriend? Would you ever consider dating anyone like me? Okay. That was when the line was crossed, and that little feminist fairy godmother kind of woke up and was like, okay, this is taking it too far. This isn't a professional thing anymore. Like, I know she's naive and all, and she's 20, but let's just back it up a little bit. I was still trying to figure out what was going on, and I didn't want to ruin the business venture for my boss. And I was just trying to be, you know, polite, and, okay, I'll giggle nicely, and then this will end, and we can all just go back to our normal lives. But Dr. Daniels had other plans the next day. I had intended on spending the rest of the conference just kind of minding my own business in the back of every meeting, not making any, you know, effort to see Dr. Daniels. But he had reserved a seat at the very front of every conference. And when I came and sat down, he leaned in and said, I thought you would wear a short skirt. No, thank you. I managed to suffer my way through the rest of the conference, even though Dr. Daniels made it painfully clear that I was the object of his swagger. And he would strut in front of me, and he would point me out, and, you know, all the other doctors noticed at every break, they'd come over and be like, oh, teacher's got a new pet. Well, that night. That night was the last night we were there. And it was dinner. And we were making our way to get ready and to get down to the valet area so we could go out to dinner again. And I was under the impression that all the doctors were going to be there. So we showed up at the car, and Dr. Daniels and one other couple, we make our way to, like, we're going to the same restaurant as last night, but we don't. We're going to Tampa. And when we get to Tampa, we pull up to a dock and there's a yacht. And Dr. Daniels made a point of showing me around his 150 foot yacht. And here's the galley, and here's the master bedroom. Here's the deck. You would look marvelous, marvelous on this deck in a swimsuit. It's like, do you see how white I am? No, I'll be on the mainland under an umbrella. And so we made our way to dinner. And in my mind, I was preparing myself. All right, I'm going to sit next to my boss, and I'm just going to ignore the rest of this night. And just, like, I can seal myself and get myself through this. But when we get to the restaurant, there are no other doctors, and there's a table set for four. And I realize that this is a double date. So, okay, I can do this. I can still do this. We get to the table, and wine is being poured, and Dr. Daniels holds my hand, and then he pulls my chair closer to him. And then he starts gushing, and I mean gushing like, I've never met anyone like you. You're amazing. How have I met you? Now? If only I were 30 years younger. Virginia. Virginia, I need you to look at me right now. This is real. This doesn't happen to everyone. And I know. I mean, I've been here a while. I know when something is real. And you need to give this a chance. I'm just asking you to give this a chance. And the whole time, I'm just sort of like, is this happening?
- [17:42]
Musical Performer
Is this.
- [17:43]
Virginia Munsterman
Can I be back in Reno? Dinner ends mercifully. We get outside, and we're waiting for the car to arrive. And Dr. Daniels, because he knows it's the last day of the conference and he only has one chance to say this. And he pulls me close and he holds my hands, and he looks into my eyes and he says, virginia, Virginia, I need you. I know this is a lot to ask, and I know you wouldn't Typically, date someone like me. But I need you to stay in Clearwater. I need you to give me a chance to court you like a gentleman. Please. Please give me the next 15 to 20 years of your life. I mean, I'm old. I'm not gonna live that long. I'm gonna die pretty soon. And when I die, you're gonna be a millionaire. And you can start over. And all your worries will be taken care of. You won't have to worry about anything. Your friends, your family, nothing. I'll tell you what. On the day of my funeral, get you a. We'll get you a super sexy morning dress, And you can wear it to my funeral and have your pick of all the men who show up and start your life over then. So at about this moment, I'm thinking, all right, he's drunk. He's insane. This is ridiculous. I need to get out of here. And a few hours later, I'm in my hotel room and I'm holding a bouquet from Dr. Daniels and a love note where he again spills his heart, thinking, what the fuck? So the next morning, I wake up to a phone call. And the phone call is Dr. Daniels. And at this moment, I'm thinking, all right, he's going to apologize. He's going to say, I'm sorry. It was an ass. It was the wine. Don't mind, you know, Mr. Hyde. It's a joke. So did you think about my proposition? How many women would have said yes in that moment? How many of us would have said yes in that moment? I mean, that's a Cinderella story. But I had never felt so gross, so completely demeaned. This man had no idea who I was. It had been, like 36 hours. I just wanted to be back in Reno. I've never wanted to be back in Reno so bad. So I said no, went back to Reno. He continued to call me at the doctor's office and repeat his proposition. And in a redeeming moment for Dr. Henderson, because he realized he kind of fed me to the wolves, got ahold of Dr. Daniels and said, you are harassing my employee and you need to stop. And I never heard from him again. And so now I live paycheck to paycheck. And, you know, I'm the happiest I've ever been because I still have my self respect and my dignity. And it's amazing how much those are really worth. Thank you,
- [21:18]
Kevin
Virginia.
- [21:18]
Host/Announcer
Monster bones. That was all just a setup for me to share some magic tricks with you all? No. I have a storytelling friend of mine, a young lady in New York City, she came and told me the story one time about how a guy at Rockefeller center looking at the Christmas tree, an old man said to her, I'll give you $100,000 for one evening of sex with you. This was when I had a husband for nine years and I came home to my husband and I told him this story. And she had of course said to this guy, no way, I have a husband. And when I told my husband this story, he said, if you ever came home and told me you had said no to a man who had offered you $100,000 because of me, I would divorce you on the spot. So you know the different dynamics of male male relationships. Alrighty,
- [22:33]
Kevin
folks. You might not realize how fulfilling and how socially connecting a creative hobby storytelling can be. I teach 8 week long online storytelling workshops. One of my students said, you learn about yourself, you improve your communication skills and you connect with smart and caring people around the world. Another said, it's part creative playground and part reconnecting with hope and inspiration. And another absolute beginner said, I was scared. I thought I'm not good enough. And all that disappeared on day one. To learn more about my online storytelling workshops, email me at kevin@risk-show.com. I know what you're thinking. You're wondering, has Kevin ever used shampoo or dishwashing liquid instead of laundry detergent? Wondering if that'd work. Or has Kevin ever ruined countless items of clothing by washing them incorrectly? Of course I have. I am not a master of laundry. And the one thing that always gets me is how my clothes don't don't usually smell nice. But now things have changed. I have Laundry Sauce which makes my clothes look and feel and smell incredible. I got a compliment yesterday on how good my shirt I cleaned with Laundry Sauce Australian sandalwood scent in it. These highly concentrated pods are packed with the cleaning power of bioenzymes that obliterate stains. Laundry Sauce also offers fabric conditioner, scent booster, dryer sheets, fabric fresher spray and a full money back guarantee. If you don't get better smelling cleaner laundry, you get a full refund for an unlimited time only. Our listeners get 20 off your entire order when you use the code risk@laundry sauce.com that's 20 off your order@laundry sauce.com with the promo code risk after after your purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. It's time to make laundry day the best day of the week. Hey, do you have trouble sleeping?
- [25:02]
Jessica Levity
Who, me?
- [25:03]
Kevin
Yes, you. Trouble sleeping? Oh, yeah, sometimes I just have a lot of stuff on my mind. You should try the Sleepy Podcast. The what? The Sleepy Podcast. It's where host Otis Gray reads old books in a low, rhythmic voice to help you get to sleep. Classic books like Pride and Prejudice, Winnie the Pooh, Sherlock Holmes. Just softly read bedtime stories for grown ups. Okay, I mean, I need to run some errands. I was into an episode in the car.
- [25:39]
Jessica Levity
You're really, really good.
- [25:40]
Kevin
No, dude, you shouldn't operate heavy machinery
- [25:43]
Host/Announcer
when you're listening to Sleep.
- [25:46]
Kevin
Oh dear. Well, let's just hope he gets home alive. But the bigger point I was trying to make, folks, is that for years, Sleepy has helped millions of people catch some much needed Z's and start their day off fresh and discover old books they didn't know they'd love. Whether you're having trouble sleeping or just like a good bedtime story, fluff up the cool side of your pillow and tune into Sleepy. Unless you're driving. I nodded off there. Yes, sir. But listen, folks, you can listen to Sleepy on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts new bedtime stories every week. Hey folks, I want to talk to you about the Perfect gene. I have always struggled with the fact that I have no butt, I'm a bit chubby, and I guess my size is a little unusual in terms of like big waist and not so long legs. I'm really making myself sound awesome here. But the fact is I've always been impatient when shopping. I get very. When shopping. I'm not a. I don't like shopping so many, many, many, many, many times. I have just settled for jeans that really don't fit very well or are a slightly. Just not quite the hue, not quite the color that I'm really looking for, or sometimes even not quite the texture I'm looking for. So the perfect jean set me up. They don't cut corners either. Ykk zippers, reinforced belt loops, deep pockets that actually fit your phone, your keys, your wallet and such a range. Waists from 26 to 52 lengths from 26 to 38 six fits from skinny to thick, thick 13 washes. It's over 5,000 combinations. I also love these athletic comfort shorts they have. So listen, Risk listeners get 15% off their first order plus free shipping at the Perfect Gene NYC or Google the Perfect Gene and use the code risk15 for 15 off. That's the Perfect gene.
- [28:24]
Host/Announcer
All righty, Let me bring up our next storyteller. She is the creator and host of Reno and Tahoe's number one improv troupe, Utility Players. Please welcome to the stage Jessica Levity.
- [28:50]
Jessica Levity
So the story that I'm about to tell you is 100% true. Well, as much as anything that happens to you alone in the middle of Kansas might be true, it's 2008, I'm 22 years old, and I've just graduated from Wisconsin. And I have no idea what I'm going to do or where I'm going to go, But I know that I want to head west. My older brother, who had randomly moved to Reno a few years earlier, Suggested that I move here. He said that he would support me financially while I pursued creative ambitions. I know I have the world's greatest big brother, but you should know it wasn't always like that. As kids, we tormented each other as you do. And then when we grew older, we started smoking marijuana together. And that's when I'd say we really bonded. So the plan was meet in our hometown of Ohio, buy a car, and make a road trip adventure out of moving my ass to Reno. So before we leave, we decide to perform a seance in the middle of our parents 40 acre farm, like you do. It was me, my big brother, and two of my best girlfriends from Wisconsin. Now, when it comes to this hippie, dippy law of attraction, let's go manifest some stuff type of bullshit. My brother and I are certainly the black sheep of our secular family. Now, specifically in this seance, my goal was to attempt to manifest clear signs that I was on my path in moving to Reno and also, just for fun, to meet some kind of spirit guide. So fast forward a few days into our road trip. We're somewhere in the middle of Kansas when I decide that I want to drive. So I'm driving, and I see a sign for the clearest lake in Kansas. Obviously, we have to go to that. My brother was resistant to the idea because the plan was to make it all the way through Kansas to our destination in Colorado before dusk that day. But I was driving. So off we went to the clearest lake in Kansas. It was beautiful there. There was nobody there. And it was the perfect place to throw some wishing rocks. So we picked up some rocks, we wrote prayers on them, and we tossed them into the lake. Because if there ever was a body of water that could transmute our wish energy to the universe, it was obviously the clearest lake in Kansas. So back in the car, the tension's rising a little bit. Teddy, my brother, is a little Frustrated with me because my little side trip has caused us to lose a couple of hours and he's getting a little antsy about whether or not we're going to make it through Kansas or not. And we still have to stop and purchase all of our camping supplies at Walmart. If there's anything worse than having to shop at Walmart, it's having to shop at a packed Walmart in the middle of Kansas when you're trying to make it to Colorado before dusk. Now, my job at Walmart was to get the food, specifically hot dogs and ketchup. Now I will never be able to fully accept explain this intense craving for hot dogs and ketchup that I had been having since we started the road trip. And Teddy had promised me that we would have it for dinner that night. So we make it out of the Walmart chaos alive, and we're walking through the parking lot, almost back to the car, when I realize I forgot the fucking ketchup. Teddy doesn't even say anything, but just that dead look in his eyes said that there was no way we were going back inside Walmart. I threw a little fit like little sisters do, and he promised me that we would stop at a gas station before getting to our destination. So back in the car now, and we're really on edge, smoking a little bowl, and we realize there's no way we're making it to Colorado. So Teddy gives in. He surrenders. He calls it and he says we're going for the nearest campground. So we pull out our AAA map and there's only one campground within a hundred mile radius. Lake Scott State Park. So off we go. It's the first week of September. It's the middle of the week, there's practically nobody there. We pull in and Teddy tries to go to the first camping spot he sees. And I throw a little fit because you can't just go to the first camping spot you see. You have to shop around. So I convince him to drive around, and before you know it, we are on the other side of the camp. The sun is getting ready to set, he calls it. We get out of the car, we find the nearest camping spot. Teddy says, okay, I'm going to go collect firewood. You get all the shit out of the car. So he disappears somewhere and I'm pulling all the stuff out of the car when I realize we forgot the fucking ketchup. This was a very devastating moment for me and my cravings, but I felt really bad that we didn't make it to Colorado. So I Decided not to even mention it at all. So as I'm pulling the stuff out of the car, I see my brother emerge in the distance. And he's walking toward me with someone. Where had this man just come from? As they begin to walk a little closer, I see that it's a large Native American man holding a walking stick slash magical staff of some kind. He's wearing a brown leather jacket and blue jeans, and he has a really big pot belly, which I later find out is because he's madly addicted to Pepsi. As they get closer, the look on my brother's face looked like he had just seen a ghost. Teddy says nothing. The Native American man walks right up to me. He takes my hand and he says, my name is Lone Wolf. I'm a shaman, and I'm here because one of you prayed for a spirit guide. My world stops. I think about the seance in the woods in Ohio. I think about the wishing rocks in Kansas. It's silent for what feels like forever before I finally muster up the courage to say, I'm Jessica Lone Wolf. He's struck in that moment, and he gets a little bit emotional. And then he finally shares. My daughter's name is Jessica. Teddy describes watching this moment from a few feet away. He says that Lone Wolf and I just never took our eyes off each other. We both started crying just standing there, Lone Wolf and I. And then finally, the spell breaks long enough for Lone Wolf to ask us to move our camp over to his camp, which has got to be 50 yards away. Okay, now, at this point, I hesitate with mixed feelings for two reasons. One, I had just pulled all of our shit out of the car, and I really didn't want to move it. And two, this man claims he's a shaman here to guide us. We're alone in the middle of Kansas. No one can hear us scream. Teddy looks at me. I look at Lone Wolf. We decide to move our shit. Teddy asks Lone Wolf if he would like to join us for dinner, to which Lone Wolf agrees, and he says he's gonna go wash up. We just stand there and watch him walk away until he is out of the picture. And then my brother and I look at each other like, oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- [37:09]
Snapdragon Podcast Narrator
Oh, my God.
- [37:10]
Jessica Levity
Is this really happening? Are we mutually hallucinating? Oh, my God. Did we accidentally eat those magic mushrooms that we brought for later? Is anyone going to ever believe this story? Are we even going to make it out alive to tell it? And just as we're starting to question everything, we see, Lone Wolf Start walking back our way. And he has something in his hands. He walks right up to me, and with the same calmness in which he told me he was the answer to my prayer, he hands me a brand new, unopened bottle of ketchup. He says, I hate ketchup. But I was in town this morning, and the great spirit told me that I needed to buy this bottle of ketchup so that you would know that I was from him, right? So internally, I'm freaking out. And yet, on the other hand, I'm fucking stoked for hot dogs and ketchup, right? So we have dinner and we make small talk. Though small talk with a shaman who claims he's your spirit guide, not really small talk. The night is winding down and dinner is ending. And I'm starting to feel like, okay, something else is about to happen. Now, here's the thing about Lone Wolf. Apparently, he could not just receive my prayers, he could also read my mind. Because just as I was thinking that, he stands up and with his magical staff, he draws a letter Y in the dirt. He points to the fork in the Y and he says, you are here. You've been lied to your entire lives. You can go to bed tonight, wake up tomorrow and leave, and we can pretend that this whole thing never happened. Or you can stay here with me for a few days, and I will tell you the truth about the history of the earth and who you really are. Obviously, we took the red pill. Lone wolf says to write down questions that we have about life, and we will answer them. We'll start our big, great unveiling vision quest tomorrow. And off to bed he goes. Almost immediately, the mixed feelings start rolling in. We're like, okay, should we stay? Should we pack up and sneak out in the middle of the night? What could Lone wolf possibly be getting ready to reveal to us about the great mysteries of life? And every time Teddy and I have convinced ourselves that this is crazy, it always comes back to the ketchup. The goddamn ketchup lesson.
- [40:23]
Virginia Munsterman
The first.
- [40:25]
Jessica Levity
When you have mixed feelings about a path in life, always choose the route with the signs. So we stayed for three days and three nights with Lone wolf. All of which a whirlwind of mixed emotions. Everything from doubt to faith, absolute faith. Everything from absolute fear to absolute love. But seriously, Teddy slept with a knife under his pillow every night just in case Lone wolf was going to kill us. But we stayed. The next morning, just as I'm waking up and I think, okay, the novelty is wearing off, none of this really Happened. And Lone Wolf emerges from his camp and he comes right over to me, and he proceeds to tell me details about the dreams I had had during the night. The thing about Lone Wolf is he loved fucking with me like this. He loved reminding me that he could read my mind, which actually was really necessary for me because I felt like I needed the constant affirmation that the magic was really happening. Yet on the other hand, that is a really fucked up thing to do to someone. It's very invasive and the most vulnerable I have ever felt in my entire life. We wandered down to the lake to start the great unveiling. I remember Lone Wolf pointed to an eagle in the sky and introduced him as Lone Eagle. He said, You guys are easy. He said, everywhere I go, he goes. He asked us about the questions we had written down, and we asked him to please delve more into the lies we've been told. Now, before I reveal to you all, I'm sure you want to hear yes, before I reveal to you all what he told us, let the record show that Teddy and I actually believe about 90% of it. To summarize, once upon a time, about 4,000 B.C. the only humans on the Earth were the indigenous people of the Earth. Then from the Dog Star, Sirius, which was worshiped by the Egyptians, by the way, beings from Sirius came to Earth and through genetic splicing, created the first race of hybrids known as the Jews, recognizable by their dog like facial hair. At this point in the story, Lone Wolf gets really angry and he tells Teddy that he has to shave his beard off because he's one of them. It was moments like this that I realized though Lone Wolf may be the shaman, he's also the student and crazy. He then begins to retell all of the Old Testament as a story about the indigenous people versus the hybrids, AKA the Jews. I mean, it makes as much sense as the Bible, really. I asked Lone Wolf then about my path and in moving to Reno, and he informs me that it is my brother and I's destiny to find a new tribe and to start a new land with him at Lake Scott. Internally, immediately I think, oh, my God, this is how all cults start. And Lone Wolf is probably just some lothario trying to seduce me. And because he could read my fucking mind out loud, he retorts, don't worry, I can't have sex with you. God has given me an ailment which causes excruciating pain in my testicles every time I get an erection. So there's that. So it does suck. The remainder of the days were ups and downs of Lone Wolf telling us a lot about ourselves and revealing himself to be extremely psychic. Also trying to convince my brother and I to stay in Lake Scott, Kansas, and start a new land with him. And as much as my brother and I are devout conspiracy theorists and believe most of what Lone Wolf told us, I think our final lesson with Lone Wolf was in realizing that in the end, he's just like us. A wounded healer blinded by the veil of his own ego. So on the third day, when we finally confessed that it was time for us to leave, Lone Wolf, though sad, gave us both a totem. For my brother, it was an eagle feather, which is like the highest respect that a Native American can give to anyone. And it went to show how much healing Lone Wolf had done over the last few days with regard to U.S. jews. And for me, this talisman, to which he said, use this whenever you need me, and I will be there to guide and protect you. And, of course, I still have it. So. Well, here's what I know. Insofar as this is what happened to me. It is absolutely true, but I know absolutely nothing about what it means and the fact that it happened. All I know is that if you're having mixed feelings about whether or not Lone Wolf really was who he said he was, just remember the fucking ketchup.
- [46:48]
Host/Announcer
Jessica levity. You know, I have an alternate interpretation of that story. Early on in the story, there is a point at which Jessica says that she and her brother say to themselves, oh, my gosh, did both of us mutually and accidentally eat all of the magic mushrooms? I think they did. All right, let me bring up our next storyteller. And then after this, we'll have our little intermission and get more drunk. He has brought us here. He is the man who is most responsible for making all this happen. You can find him@freshbacon.com He's a producer of all kinds of shows. Not just this kind of show, but all kinds of music shows as well. Please welcome to the stage Steve Emmerich.
- [48:02]
Steve Emmerich
So, in the summer of 2003, I jumped in my 1987 Subaru in Lake Tahoe and drove across the country to Limestone, Maine, with the destination of Loring Air Force Base. Now, you've probably never heard of Loring Air Force Base or Limestone, Maine, because it's a decommissioned Air Force base in the most northeastern tip of the United States you could possibly go to. And the reason I was going out there was to go to a music festival headline because I'm a hippie by one band, Fish. So we used to do treks like this all the time. It wasn't necessarily ridiculously long for us to do this kind of thing. Growing up in Cincinnati, Ohio, we took off all the time for long trips to go to concerts and raves and shows, punk rock shows, metal shows of all different kinds. And that's something that just my friends and I did. When you grow up in a place like Cincinnati, you're kind of expected to have a blueprint when you're born. And that blueprint can be something like, get married, have kids, get a corporate job, be very square and, like, no sexuality. And I didn't really feel like I fit with that blueprint at all. I would lay in bed when I was about 8 years old, and I would have these conversations with myself, and I would have this voice come into my head and say, you're gay. And then I would respond, no, I'm not. And then the voice would again say, you're gay. And I'd be like, no, I'm not. Because that doesn't fit in the blueprint that you're given when you're born. I was in a Catholic household. I went to Catholic school. We did confirmations and confessions and all those things. Gay was not cool at all in that location. And so I ended up being able to suppress it a little bit, and it came out in other ways. Like, my favorite movie was this movie called Taps, where these high school and middle school military boys take over their military school because they're going to shut it down. When I rewatched that movie much later, I realized there are no girls in that movie at all.
- [50:27]
Jessica Levity
Weird.
- [50:28]
Steve Emmerich
So. And then at the same time, we would also really. I got really, really into music. And I remember when my friend and I, we loved Michael Jackson so much, and we would have little, like, competitions, and one of us would be Quincy Jones, the other one would be Michael Jackson, and we'd dance off to Thriller, and Quincy Jones would give Michael Jackson, Jackson, like, dance tips. And one time we got in trouble because we both wore red gloves to Catholic school. Well, she had a red mitten because she didn't have a sparkly glove, which I have no idea still how I got to this day, so being in that scenario. And then also, I got into more of a counterculture. I loved going, like I said, to raves and Grateful Dead shows and punk rock shows and metal shows, because all those people were so nice. It was so different than what I was really accustomed to. I got so into the friendliness of it, where people would just be very, like, happy and very, like, happy to meet you. Where in kind of the, like, more of the religious side it was. People were not nice. It wasn't like that. So as I got older, I realized then suddenly I wasn't really feeling like I belonged totally in this counterculture. Because while they were very open minded, sometimes they're open minded to a point. Like, they're okay with gay people as long as they don't hit on them. And it's always the smelly people that say that. I have no idea why. It's kind of weird. As I got older, I found this website. It was called brianrobert.com and it was a website for gay and lesbian fans of the band Phish. Wow. It's like a subculture within a subculture. So moving forward, I drive across the country with no air conditioning and no cruise control. And I had planned to meet up with some of a couple people that I'd made connections with on this website. But also one of my best friends from going to shows in college and high school was gonna fly in and meet me in Albany, and I was gonna pick him up there, and we were gonna go on to Maine. And a lot of my friends, I had been kind of coming out as bi, and my friends were. We never really talked about it that much, but I think they pretty much knew. And this was kind of an experience for me, to be able to mold my sexuality a little bit more with this thing that I absolutely loved, which was music and community. I had already, at this point, seen Fish a hundred times. And I'd been to this location before. I knew that it was going to be super loose atmosphere. You could do whatever you wanted. Great people, great music. They played for like 29 hours. Who knows?
- [53:26]
Carvana Advertiser
I don't know.
- [53:28]
Steve Emmerich
And I pick him up in Albany. And through the course of the trip there, we were kind of caravanning with these people. And it was nice, but it was not like Jamie and I were best friends. And our friendship was based on so much more than just the kind of sexuality. So by the time we got there, I realized I love hanging out with this guy. He's straight, but one of my best friends. And then with the other people, they were nice, but they didn't really get it quite so much. We get into the show. Grueling drive. Once you get to Maine, it's still six hours to get there. Maine is not a big state. We were up there and we had to go all the way through the night. Probably did things to keep ourselves awake throughout that time period. Get into the festival, we're totally unprepared. I slept on a yoga mat on an Air Force Runway, okay.
- [54:22]
Snapdragon Podcast Narrator
And
- [54:24]
Steve Emmerich
come the second night through that day, we had eaten mushrooms, we'd eaten lsd, we'd eaten ecstasy, we'd smoked weed, we'd eaten more LSD and eaten more mushrooms. And we are kind of just walking around being goofy and. And we end up going over to the disco van, which was this van that played disco music after the shows. And it was in this little field between two airstrips and buy a few nitrous balloons because we weren't fucked up enough. And we sit down by this car that was parked there in the grass. The cool thing about psychedelics is that one, it kind of allows you to just kind of feel and see the energy that connects everything. Almost as if everything is water. The air, your body, everything is water. And you move your arm and you can actually see the energy flowing out and how it affects everything. Or you can shoot stuff out of your hands. You can sometimes see the connections that go from one head to another. And like. And another thing about being on psychedelics is that sometimes if you have something suppressed in the back of your head, you are gonna fucking deal with it. And it doesn't matter if you're at a 60,000 person music festival, Northeastern Maine, and I don't even know how many hours from my house. So we sit down. Because you always sit down when you do nitrous. If you are going to do nitrous, you sit down when you do that.
- [56:18]
Jessica Levity
And
- [56:20]
Steve Emmerich
I start hitting the balloon and everything turns so vivid and so lucid and so colorful. Just the brightest, most intense greens and blues and yellows. And I can see everything on a cellular level. I can feel connection with the ground and the grass and people around me. I can feel it all. And then what happens is these two doors pop up. And I don't mean like I saw them. Like it was in my head, I had my eyes closed or I was passed out. You know, that could have happened too. And I knew one of these doors signified, kind of going into the closet and following this blueprint that I was given when I was much younger, because it was socially much easier to do that. The other one was coming out as gay. However, that blueprint, it kind of played into the things that I already knew, like the things that I had been exposed to. Because when I was younger, when I was growing up, the only gay people I really saw were on TVs and movies which were snappy dressers, knew all about pop divas, knew the brands of clothing. And like that wasn't me at all. Like I didn't really. That was not me. And so that was that, that door. And I started crying, like just absolutely just weeping because I was scared and I was frustrated and I was sad and I started saying out loud, like, why, why do I have to choose? It's not fair. I don't. It doesn't matter. Why do I have to choose? And I was just weeping. And Jamie, bless his heart, he just went to go have a good time, not wanting to hang out with a mental case. But I ended up just crying non stop. And then what happened was that I realized that I don't have to choose. I don't have to pick one of these doors. I can actually make my own door. And I could be what I wanted to be. And it wasn't going to be easy. I was going to have to make my own blueprint. I don't have a model or anything that I can really decide or model off of. I had to make this all on my own. And it was really scary. However, I knew then that I could be me and I could be whatever I wanted and I didn't have to follow any kind of blueprint that was given to me. So then my tears changed and they changed to almost like tears of happiness. And I was starting to have this cathartic cry and I was just shedding all kinds of guilt and insecurities that I had suppressed for so long. And then I hear this voice and it says, hey, there's a guy over there by that car taking a shit. I was not taking a shit physically, but I knew he was talking about me because I was taking an emotional shit. I was expelling so much frack that had been built up for. I can't do math right now, but since I was born in 1975 and I was like, who is this like LSD wizard? Like, how does he know? How is he connected? Like, is my energy that power powerful that I'm pushing out there that he can feel what I'm going through? Like, that's absolutely, absolutely amazing. And I was a little embarrassed. I was definitely a little embarrassed, but I also kind of laughed it off. And so after I took my emotional shit that apparently the entire festival could feel, I finished my balloons and we got up and walked away. Finished out the festival. We rolled down to Portland, Maine, caught another concert. Because 29 hours of fish wasn't enough.
- [61:07]
Jessica Levity
And.
- [61:12]
Steve Emmerich
A few years later I was talking to Jamie about that and I said, wasn't it so weird when I was crying by that car and that guy totally called me out and was like, oh, look at that guy's taking a shit. And I was like, wasn't that so crazy? And he was like, steve O, no, he wasn't talking about you. On the other end of the car that we were sitting at, literally someone was taking a shit in the grass. But it's kind of funny how when you're on these trips, no matter what's happening or what anybody says, it kind of, it's like your ego pulls it in and you're like, that's about me, not about me. Thank you guys so much.
- [62:24]
Musical Performer
Another perfect day they keep piling up I got happiness that I can maintain Some beginner's love I had shoes to fill Walking barefoot now can't tell north from south but no split heads gonna get me down I'm stayin above the flatline I'm ahead of the curve Take a piece of the sunshine with me On a red eye flight to another world Isn't any trouble if you wanna come with me I know it's out of the question, honey, but I sure could use the company and a place to be.
- [63:21]
Host/Announcer
That is all for this week, folks. This is Monsters of Folk behind me now. And this is the end of the first part of our two part set. Live from Reno. And don't forget, we also teach storytelling@thestorystudio.org we're really thrilled that we're doing so many more corporate workshops these days. Teaching teams from all sorts of different businesses. How to communicate in a more human way, more emotionally more engaging. We also offer one on one training and online courses. There's a lot to learn about us. The workshops we have in New York, in Los Angeles and elsewhere@thestorystudio.org Folks, today's the day. Take a risk. That is all for this.
- [64:51]
Musical Performer
Sa.