Love and War

Summary

Podcast Summary: RISK! - "Love and War"

Release Date: May 6, 2025

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Introduction

In the "Love and War" episode of RISK!, host Kevin Allison delves into two profoundly moving and personal stories that intertwine themes of romance, deception, and the turbulent backdrop of military life and the Vietnam War. This episode promises to be a poignant exploration of the complexities of love amidst conflict, offering listeners both heartache and hope through raw, unfiltered storytelling.

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Story 1: "What The Blorp?" by Kerry Dougherty

Timestamp: 05:39 - 16:37

Kerry Dougherty shares an intimate and heart-wrenching tale of love, betrayal, and resilience set against the challenging environment of military service. Her story revolves around her relationship with a man she refers to as "Blorpy," a pseudonym she uses to protect his identity.

Meeting Blorpy

Kerry meets Blorpy while working at a honky-tonk steakhouse in Savannah during her college years. Blorpy, a sensitive and handsome Army man preparing to be deployed to Afghanistan, approaches her with genuine interest:

Kerry Dougherty [05:39]: "Hi, I'm Blorpy. I come here a lot. I've always thought you were really pretty, and I was wondering if you would like to get coffee with me tonight."

Initially, Kerry is hesitant due to Blorpy's impending deployment, but they connect over shared interests, including a love for Sheryl Crow and laser tag. Their relationship blossoms as they navigate the uncertainties of military life together.

The First Bombshell

After eight months of a seemingly strong relationship, Blorpy drops a devastating reveal:

Kerry Dougherty [08:45]: "I just found out that I have to go back to Afghanistan for a year. I'm going to tell them I'm gay."

Blorpy confesses that he plans to fabricate his sexuality to avoid another deployment, a decision that deeply hurts Kerry, leaving her feeling betrayed and abandoned just as their relationship was solidifying.

The Aftermath

Kerry receives shocking news from Shmurpy, Blorpy's friend on the base:

Shmurpy [14:50]: "Blorpy isn't living with me. He moved back to Alabama to be with his wife and daughter. He was still married."

This revelation devastates Kerry, leading to an emotional breakdown in her workplace, where her anguish is palpable to everyone around her. Faced with the truth, Kerry contemplates retaliating by exposing Blorpy's deception to the military authorities, risking his career and potentially his freedom.

A Path to Healing

Before she can act on her anger, Kerry's mother intervenes, urging her to forgive and move forward. Choosing not to pursue revenge, Kerry eventually reconnects with Blorpy, only to be met with further deceit when he reaches out for financial help. Rejecting his attempts to exploit their past, Kerry channels her pain into adopting a puppy, finding solace and unconditional love in her new furry companion, Lou.

Kerry Dougherty [15:55]: "I went to a humane society and I took that dirty, dirty revenge money and adopted a three-month-old little mutt puppy. And her name is Lou and she is now 8 years old and to this day she is the best love I've ever had."

Insights and Conclusions: Kerry's story underscores the impact of deception in personal relationships, especially when compounded by external pressures like military obligations. Her journey from love to betrayal and finally to healing illustrates the resilience of the human spirit and the importance of finding new sources of love and companionship in the aftermath of heartbreak.

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Story 2: "Luck of the Draw" by Jim Stevens

Timestamp: 22:59 - 37:38

Jim Stevens recounts his harrowing experience during the Vietnam War draft era, highlighting the sudden and life-altering impact of being drafted despite his initial avoidance strategies.

The Draft Lottery

Working at a liquor store during the peak of the Vietnam War, Jim is engrossed in the draft lottery process. Born on July 25, 1951, his chances of being drafted were slim, as his birthdate was towards the end of the draft pool:

Jim Stevens [24:30]: "I watched until 275. There's no way I'm getting drafted. But, you're number three."

Despite his expectations, Jim's draft number is pulled early, thrusting him into the realities of conscription and war.

A Fractured Relationship with His Father

Jim's relationship with his father, a decorated Navy captain and staunch Republican, is strained. His father's absence during Jim's formative years leaves Jim directionless, indulging in rebellious behavior without guidance. The draft notification deepens this rift, exposing the generational and ideological divides between them.

Facing the Reality of War

As Jim confronts the possibility of being sent to Vietnam, he grapples with the moral and personal implications of war. Witnessing friends suffer severely—losing limbs, battling addiction, or enduring psychological trauma—amplifies his fear and uncertainty about his own future.

A Defining Conversation

On Christmas Eve, Jim has a pivotal conversation with his father, where both express their stances:

Jim Stevens [35:10]: "I'm not going to Vietnam. I don't know how I'm going to get out of it, but I'm not going. I'm not going to kill anybody and I'm not going to risk my life for no good reason whatsoever."

This moment marks a turning point, fostering mutual respect and understanding between father and son, and reshaping their relationship into one of friendship and support.

Graduation and Peace

Jim graduates from college just as the Selective Service draft ends, allowing him to avoid military deployment. Reflecting on his journey, he muses on the cyclical nature of conflict and the importance of personal decisions in shaping one's destiny.

Jim Stevens [36:43]: "When losses and wounds are grievous... Enough fire goes out."

Insights and Conclusions: Jim's narrative delves into the personal turmoil of facing conscription during a controversial war, illustrating the societal and familial tensions that arise in such contexts. His story highlights the significance of personal agency, the transformative power of open communication, and the enduring impact of pivotal life decisions.

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Conclusion

The "Love and War" episode of RISK! masterfully interweaves personal stories set against the larger backdrop of military conflict and societal unrest. Through Kerry Dougherty and Jim Stevens' compelling narratives, listeners gain a deeper understanding of the intricate interplay between love, duty, and personal integrity. These stories serve as powerful reminders of the resilience required to navigate life's unexpected challenges and the enduring quest for connection and meaning amidst chaos.

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For more captivating stories and to experience live shows, visit risk-show.com.

Transcript

[Kevin Allison]

Hey folks, this is Kevin. On this week's episode of Risk, you'll hear Kerry Dougherty and he says, well.

[Kerry Dougherty]

The only thing is I'm in the army and I'm shipping off to Afghanistan tomorrow at 6am and I'm gonna be gone a whole year. And here I expected him to go like and I just wanna fog one more time.

[Kevin Allison]

That and more. But first, do you have a story about doing something fun and joyful during a dark time? A story about being creative when there was too much destruction happening around you? A story about connecting with others in a playful, adventurous or inventive way when others around seem to be feeling hopeless. Pitch us those stories. As always, we're at risk-show.com submissions.

[Kerry Dougherty]

We'll be right back.

[Jim Stevens]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm.

[Kerry Dougherty]

You might say all kinds of stuff.

[Jim Stevens]

When things go wrong, but these are the words you really need need to remember. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. They've got options to fit your unique insurance needs, meaning you can talk to your agent to choose the coverage you need, have coverage options to protect the things you value most, file a claim right on the State Farm mobile app, and even reach a real person when you need to talk to someone. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

[Kevin Allison]

Hey, Lonzo Ball, it's your agent.

[Jim Stevens]

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[Kevin Allison]

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[Jim Stevens]

Nice. My last name is Ball.

[Kevin Allison]

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[Jim Stevens]

I get it.

[Kevin Allison]

That's what I thought too. But no, they want you for your hands. They think your big hands will show off the size of their new blue Biggie's Ball. Big blue balls really get blue balls.

[Jim Stevens]

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[Kerry Dougherty]

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[Jim Stevens]

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[Kerry Dougherty]

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[Jim Stevens]

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[Kerry Dougherty]

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[Kevin Allison]

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[Jim Stevens]

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[Kevin Allison]

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[Jim Stevens]

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[Kevin Allison]

Now here's the show.

[Jim Stevens]

Hello, folks.

[Kevin Allison]

This is Risk, the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share. I'm Kevin Allison. This is Team Impala behind me now. And we're calling this week's episode Love and War. Folks, it is such a blast that we're doing three Risk live shows out on the road again very, very soon. Our tour shows are always such unforgettable evenings. There's nothing like being in the room with other Risk fans experiencing the live theater ness of it all. And you could even get a chance to get up on stage and tell a five minute story. All three of these shows will have four prepared stories, including one by me and a few five minute stories from audience members who want to volunteer and take a risk and share. We are in Atlanta on May 8th at IOW5. We're in D.C. on June 7th at the Miracle Theater. And we're in Philly on June 19th at Fringe Arts. And tickets are always at risk-show.com/live. Now in a little bit, we're gonna hear from Jim Stevens, but before that, probably, and I do mean probably, the best story we've ever featured that includes people named Blorpy and Shmurpy. This one was recorded at a Risk live show in New York all the way back in 2013. We thought we'd lost this recording, but our episode editor, Jeff Barr, always loved to reminisce about that story about a guy named Blorpy. So after all these years, here it is. This is Carrie Doherty with a story we call what The Blorp?

[Kerry Dougherty]

In 2003, I was 21 years old and attending film school in Savannah. And at the time, I waited tables at this honky tonk steakhouse on the south side of town. And one night I'm finishing up my shift and I'm just counting tips and this guy comes up to me and he's in his mid-20s. He's very handsome. He's wearing a beanie, so right away can tell that he's sensitive. And he's like, hi, I'm Blorpy. And Blorpy is not his name, but for the sake of this story, it is his name. And I'll explain why later. So he's like, hi, I'm Blorpy. I come here a lot. I've always thought you were really pretty, and I was wondering if you would like to get coffee with me tonight. And he was cute and he seemed nice. So I chatted with him for a few minutes and I said, I can't get coffee tonight, but, you know, soon. And he says, well, the only thing is I'm in the army and I'm shipping off to Afghanistan tomorrow at 6am and I'm gonna be gone a whole year. And here I expected him to go like, and I just wanna fuck one more time. But he didn't say that. He actually just said, well, okay, if tonight doesn't work, I guess that's fine. And it was very nice meeting you. And with that, he just left. And so a year later, I'm still working at the same restaurant. And one night I walk past the bar and I just hear Kerry. And I walk up and this man is just staring at me. And I don't recognize him right away until I see the beanie. And I'm like, oh my gosh, Blorby. Like, what are you doing here? And he says, I just got back from Afghanistan today and you were the first person that I wanted to see. See. How about that coffee, guys? Holy fucking shit. Like, I'm sorry. This is the most. To this day, this is still the craziest, most romantic thing that has ever happened to me. So we go out for coffee and I learned that Blorpy has been in the army for a few years and he lives on base, which isn't far from the restaurant that I work at. And we realize we have a lot in common. We both really like Sheryl Crow and playing and playing laser tag and we both really love crab legs, but we like, hate the effort of having to eat them. And toward the end of the first date, he drops kind of a bombshell on me. He says, look, I'm divorced. I have a 10 month old daughter, they live in Alabama. I divorced my wife because she cheated on me and she tried to get back together with me for a long time. And eventually I do want to be in my daughter's life, but right now I can't. And they live in another state and this was huge because I'm 21, I'm not ready to have a boyfriend who has a kid. And so I call my mom because she had been. My dad had been married to another woman before her and he had kids. And she said, you know, Carrie, if you really like this guy, don't let that stand in the way. I didn't. And your father and I got married. They also got divorced, but that's another thing, I guess Whatever. So I fall hard for Blorpy, and after about eight months of dating, we decide to move in together. And things are going really great. I'm in school during the day, he's at the army base doing whatever he does during the day. And at night we would cook crab legs and listen to Sheryl Crow soak up the sun. And sometimes we go play laser tag. And I was just so in love. And I was like, this is it. This is going to be the guy I spend the rest of my life with. And then one day, Blorpy drops another bombshell on me. He comes home from the base and he says, I just found out that I have to go back to Afghanistan for a year. And I'm like, oh my gosh. And he says, no, it's going to be okay. I'm going to tell them I'm gay. So, guys, I 100% know that this is an awful, awful thing for a person to do. I mean, he wasn't gay too, if you're wondering. That wasn't like another bombshell, but at the same time, I was a 21 year old girl in love and I selfishly didn't want my boyfriend going off to war. So there was a part of me that was kind of rooting for this whole ruse to work. And it did. Blorpy told his battery commander that he was gay. He took this written evaluation, did an exit interview, and this is why I'm calling him Blorpy, because I have no idea if there's like a statute of limitations on something like this. And so I don't want to get him into trouble. So that's why I picked a name that like no human would have. Like, find me a Blorpy in the US Army. I'm totally going to get subpoenaed for this. So Blorpy is discharged from the army, but he still has like two months of work on the base before he's officially released. And he tells me that until he's officially out of the army, he has to move out of our apartment. And he suggests that we don't see each other for a while just in case there's like surveillance on him from the army. So he says he's going to move in with a friend on the base whom I will call Shmurpy. And I just keep telling myself that once he's out of the army, things will go back to normal and I'm going to get my super romantic boyfriend back. So a few weeks go by and in that time I've Only spoken to Blorpy a few times on the phone, but he's in pretty good sense spirits. And one night, I'm working at the restaurant, and I get a call from Shmirpe, who is living on the base with him. So Smurpy says, kerry, I have something to tell you. Are you sitting down? And I'm like, oh, my God, what happened to Blorpy? Like, is he okay? I'm at work, you know, just tell me. And Shmurpy drops a Blorpy bombshell on me. He says, blorby isn't living with me. He moved back to Alabama to be with his wife and daughter. He was still married, by the way, was not divorced. And he said, and he's stringing you along because he thought that if you knew he left you for her, that you would spill his secret about him not being gay. And if that happened, he could go to military jail for, like, six years. Now, what happened next is the reason why employee cell phone usage was permanently banned at Logan's Roadhouse on the south side of Savannah. I take my phone, I call Blorpy. I get his voicemail, and I just start screaming into the phone, just, how could you, you fucking coward? Where are you? And I'm just losing my shit. And the whole time, the entire restaurant can hear me. I'm neglecting my tables. I was in such a rage just leaving him message after message after message. That part of that moment, that night is actually a little blurry. It's like. It's like I was blacking out, but I was awake in a way and, like, walking around. So after leaving, like, 10 messages in a row for Blorpy and the final one, I tell him I'm going to call his battery commander and tell him he wasn't gay. Equals go to jail. So this was going to be my revenge. And I had his number, and I dialed it, and right as I pressed send, my mom called me, interrupting the call. And I just started crying, and I broke down and I told her everything. And I was like, mom, I'm doing this. And she's like, carrie, what he did was awful and unforgivable. And I know you're angry, but please don't do it. So I listened to my mom, and I didn't call his battery commander. I'm so glad that I didn't. In retrospect, that would have been so bad. So after a few days, I do finally get Blorpy on the phone. And by then, I've calmed down a little bit. And he explains that his wife had been calling him and begging him to take her back. And she kept saying her daughter needed a father and he just really wanted to be with his child. And that if getting back together with her meant he could be a father, then he wanted to give it a try. And in some weird way, I kind of understood where he was coming from. I mean, I was still livid that he lied to me. And I called him a fucking dickwad on the phone for doing so. But when we hung up, I said, look, just. No matter what happens, I just want to get over you and this. Just never get ahold of me again. And he said, I promise. So for the next six months, I was really depressed. I mean, I had been with a married man who kept a big awful secret from the military guys. I was Betty Draper. And that's sad. So I finally started moving on, and I was thinking about dating again. And then one day I get a voicemail from Blorpy. And he says, kerry, it's Blorpy. I really need to talk to you. It's important. And then my phone died. So I race home and in the entire time I'm just thinking, I'm like, oh, my gosh. Like, did they break up? Is he a changed man? I told him not to call me. Why is he calling me? Why is he reaching. Surfacing this? And I get home and I plug my phone in and I take a deep breath and I call him. And he picks up the phone and I'm like, what do you want? And he says, remember back when we were together and I gave you like $300 of my money to hold on to just while I was switching banks? And I said, what? He said, just, money's so tight right now with me and my wife. Do you. Can you just like send me a check or something? And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? And I just lost it on him again. And I was like, I specifically demanded that you never speak to me again. And you call me because you want money. Why don't you ask for your wife for money? Why do you need money? And I just started freaking out. And I was like, you know what? I am not gonna give you your money back. I'm gonna take your money. I'm gonna buy a fucking puppy. And so with that, I hung up the phone. And later that day, I went to a humane society and I took that dirty, dirty revenge money and adopted a three month old little mutt puppy. And I got her the nicest dog bed and I got her lots of toys and I got her a little hoodie to wear and her name is Lou and she is now 8 years old and to this day she is the best love I've ever had. Thank you guys. We'll be right back. Join Target Circle 360 and get a free bouquet of flowers for Mom.

[Jim Stevens]

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[Kerry Dougherty]

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[Jim Stevens]

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[Kerry Dougherty]

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[Jim Stevens]

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[Kerry Dougherty]

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[Jim Stevens]

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[Kerry Dougherty]

I'm Emma Greed and I've spent the last 20 years building, running and investing in some incredible businesses. I've co founded a multi billion dollar unicorn and had my hand in several other companies that have generated hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars. The more success I've had, the more people started coming to me with questions. How do you start a business? How do you raise money? How do I bounce back? So it got me thinking. Why not just ask the people I aspire to the most? How did they actually do what they do? I'm so incredibly lucky to know some of the smartest minds out there. And now I'm bringing their insights along with mine, unfiltered, directly to you on my new podcast, Aspire with Emma Greed. I'll dive into the big questions everyone wants to know about success in business and in life. Through weekly conversations. You'll get the tangible tools, the real no BS stories, and undeniable little hacks that actually help you level up. Listen to and follow Aspire with Emma Greed an Odyssey podcast. Available now. Wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jim Stevens]

This season of Revisionist History, we're investigating everything from the secret behind the perfect nooks and crannies in Thomas's English muffins to the merits of Paw Patrol against its critics.

[Kerry Dougherty]

There's some things that really piss me.

[Jim Stevens]

Off when it comes to Paw Patrol.

[Kerry Dougherty]

It's pretty simple. It sucks.

[Kevin Allison]

My son watches Paw Patrol. I hate it.

[Jim Stevens]

Everyone hates it except for me. Listen to revisionist history. Wherever you get your podcasts, we're back. This is nothing new, it's just the same old blues? Like a devil on my shoulder, nothing left to lose? You can never break my heart? Everything will fall apart? You can never save my soul. I sick of it's time to let me go. I keep on having this dream where I'm Stuck in a hole and I.

[Kerry Dougherty]

Can'T get out there's always something that's.

[Jim Stevens]

Pulling me down, down, down and this is nothing new it's just the same.

[Kevin Allison]

Old.

[Jim Stevens]

And this, this is nothing new.

[Kevin Allison]

It'S just the same old blue this is Risk. This is Phantogram behind me now. And we just heard from Kerry Doherty, who taught us all we need to know about Blorpy. But now I'm curious to learn more about Sh. So Shmurpy. If you're out there, you know where to find us. Carrie has written for all kinds of shows like the Goldbergs and Smart Girls. She's the creator and host of Geeking out, and you can find her on Instagram Squidsy. And we have a new bonus story for you over on Patreon right now, also from Kerry Doherty, from which you will learn the cold hard truth about the secret code words that airline assistants use with one another to refer privately about real life emergencies happening on the plane. If you, if you want to learn that information, you might, you might prefer not to. But if you prefer not to, we have like 250 other bonus stories over there on Patreon. So look us up and help us out. Keep this show [e-mail] risk and folks, there's still spots left in my online storytelling workshops that I'm teaching before I move overseas in the fall. So, you know, I can get in these US time zones for these workshops. And they're so damn fun and so moving, sometimes so surprising. It's just good for your mental health, I think, to be creative with other good folks. And that's what we do in these workshops, all while learning about storytelling craft along the way, which is so useful in your life in so many ways. Email me at kevinrisk-show.com to learn more about the workshops. And another thing that I'm doing to raise funds for my big move this year is I'm doing one on one hangouts with Risk bands on Zoom. If you'd like to just spend some quality time with me on Zoom, I love these, actually. Just talking about whatever you'd like to talk about. Make my acquaintance and you know, you'll be helping me make this huge transition in the process. So email me about that too. I'm telling folks it's $100 for the Zoom session or more if you're feeling generous. And for more information, I'm at [e-mail] Next we're going to hear from Jim Stevens. Jim has all sorts of interesting work as A writer. He wrote a musical called Jesus Got a Girlfriend. His Richard Sherlock whodunit series has ranked him in the top 10% of Amazon authors. And here he is now with the story we call Luck of the Draw.

[Jim Stevens]

My dad wasn't around much in my latter teens. He was out designing new oil refineries or taking the botulism out of Campbell's soup or whatever while I was busy smoking dope, drinking beer and trying to get laid. It was the age of sex, drugs and rock and roll. The world could have been in a horrible chaotic mess. But you know, I could give a shit. I was having way too much fun. Until July 1, 1970, I was working at a liquor store and I'm delivering this box of booze into this guy's house and as I'm walking through I see that this guy's TV set is on and there's two people, a guy and a woman standing in front of this ridiculous looking birdcage thing and they're pulling ping pong balls out like it was a church basement on bingo night. So I put that booze down on this guy's counter and I said to him, sir, would you mind if I sat and watched TV for a while? You got the Selective Service Draft Lottery on. And like this is my year, let me tell you, I got a lot riding on this. I said sure, sit down. To give you a little history, during the Vietnam War era, for some absurd reason, the government decided to draft people by putting 365 Ping pong balls into this hopper and then pulling them out one by one, which would establish the order for drafting men born in the year 1951. My birthday is July 25, 1951. Back then, word on the street was if your birthday was picked from 1 to 150, you had a 90% chance of being drafted. If it was picked 150 to 225, it dropped to about a 60% 225 to 275, maybe 40%. And if it was picked over 275, you were literally home free from ever after being drafted into the armed services. So I'm sitting there and watching this guy's TV and at 1:50, no July 25, at 2:25, no July 25. At 2:75 I stood up. I figured I better get back to work. I thanked the kind gentleman and I left with a huge smile on my face. A couple hours later I'm back at work and I'm stocking shelves or whatever and phone rings and My surly boss picks up and says to me, hey, some guy on the phone wants to talk to you. It was my dad. He's in some dog food factory, engineering God knows what in Milwaukee. This is the first time my dad ever called me, ever, when he was out of town. And he says to me, are you okay? And I said, yeah, why wouldn't I be okay? And he said, your draft number. I said, I watched until 275. There's no way I'm getting drafted. He said, jim, did you watch from the beginning? And I hesitated, and he said, it didn't take him long to get to you. You're number three. Oh, fuck. That's the first time I ever swore in front of my father. I was in shock. I couldn't speak. He couldn't speak. All the things that were wrong in the world caught up to me. And suddenly there was this black cloud hovering over my head, which would stick around for years. The only good news was that in 1951 would be the last year the government would honor 2s college deferments. So all I had to do was stay in college and I could delay my entry into the draft until I graduated. But what happens if Vietnam doesn't end? What happens if the war escalates? What happens if they blow out this 2s thing? Guess what? I am like, first to go in college. I was pretty much the same fuck up I was in high school. And I know it bothered my dad a lot, but, you know, he was never home, so it wasn't like I had to worry about it all the time. But, you know, my world had changed. No longer could I risk flunking a class or not finishing a full load per term. More frightened. A kid I played Little League baseball with, his name was Jerry Smith, came home from Vietnam without a leg. Two guys I played soccer with in high school came home crazy, addicted to heroin, and, like, totally pissed off because they weren't being considered the heroes they thought they had become. And a friend, Mike Durrell, who lived just around the block from me, had the distinction of having his name carved into the Vietnam War Memorial years later. The early 70s in America were a strange time. The peace, love and groovy of the 60s was replaced by anger, destruction and meanness. In the 1970s, Woodstock became Altamont. Martin Luther King. Nonviolent ways became riots in the inner cities. And most shocking of all, you could watch the bombing, the destruction, the death in Vietnam every night on your living room tv. I became more confused by the day. I didn't know who to ask or what to believe. I wanted and needed answers. But you know, I never asked my dad. My dad was a decorated Navy captain in World War II, commanding a minesweeper in the North Pacific when he was 25 years old. He was a conservative Republican who proudly voted for both Nixon and Goldwater. In the few times my dad even mentioned the topic, there was no doubt of how he felt about the war in Vietnam. And I admit now I was actually scared of the advice he might give me and worse, of his expectation that I would carry it out. My father and I were so different. Sometimes I wondered if he was even my dad. His thought process was step A to step B to a logical decision. Me, I didn't think, I just did and just hope that I made the right decision in the end. I understood him, but I never thought he understood me. Back then. The rumors ran rampant. There were doctors who would give you, like a diagnosis for like flat feet or bone spurs if you paid them enough money. And I knew a kid named Kevin Sylvester was two grades ahead of me, who the day he got his greetings letter in the mail, just packed up and left. He drove all the way to Canada, got there, tried to immigrate, and they wouldn't let him in. Conscience's objectors back then were going to prison. It was do your patriotic duty or dodge the drown. Everybody had opinion. My parents, conservative friends, and even some of mine said, enlist, get in, get in. Go to Officers Training School, you know, go become a Green Beret, win the Congressional Medal of Honor. People I went to college with, they said, hell no, don't go. And the friends of mine who got numbers over 275, they said, if I were you, I'd be around as much as I could. This could be the last chance you ever get. I felt just horrible, hopeless. Cloud over my head was growing darker by the day. When I was a junior in college, Nixon was touting his plan for having a secret way if they're going to end the war in Vietnam. And the anti war movement was raging. The press and the politicians kept saying, America's pulling out, the troops are coming home. But every night you could still tune in and watch the blood and guts in Vietnam and the good guy Americans fighting in Vietnam to make the world safe for democracy were performing incredible atrocities. They were firebombing villages, burning and killing innocent women and children. I was no longer worried. Now I was just scared since I didn't have any money or any connections and I certainly wasn't going to hurt myself, to get a deferment. I could refuse induction and become a criminal. Or I could enlist in the Air Force, which was offering a deal with a no Vietnam guarantee in exchange for eight years of service. No way was I going to spend my 20s wearing any uniform. I could go to Sweden, which was friendly to the anti war movement. But I took the chance of never being able to come home again. There was hope. The peace talk started. They were at the table, they were making progress. And then Nixon bombs, Cambodia, escalating the war. And I went from scared to petrified. By winter break, the inevitable was on my horizon. I had to make a decision. On Christmas Eve, my dad pulled me into an empty room, sat me down and said, what are you gonna do? I took a short breath and I said, I don't know, Jim. What do you mean you don't know? This is your life. I felt like a 10 year old kid getting scolded for stealing a candy bar. Well, I said, I have made one decision which I don't think you're gonna like. And he waited patiently. And I said, I'm not going to Vietnam. I don't know how I'm going to get out of it, but I'm not going. I'm not going to kill anybody and I'm not going to risk my life for no good reason whatsoever. Suddenly there was this look on his face I had never seen before. We just sat there and stared at each other. And it finally said to me, well, I made a decision too. I've decided that I've done enough fighting for the both of us. So I will respect your decision, whatever it may be, and I'll support you in any way I can. This was a conversation I will never forget. For the first time in my life, a bond of respect was forged between my father and I. He realized I was capable of making my own decisions. And I realized and learned that he was willing to change his opinions for my sake. But the biggest change between us was that we became much better friends. I graduated from college on June 9, 1973. And three weeks later, on June 30, the Selective Service draft in America ended and the dark cloud hovering over my head finally drifted away.

[Kevin Allison]

SA.

[Jim Stevens]

Ended. Nobody cared anymore for the war. So a truce was declared. So it ends in surrender. Then there's peace at least. Arms are withdrawn and fire is ceased. To stay in a skirmish, one needs appetite, two need desire to keep up a fight. But when appetite's off and desire is gone, then when the fire is held and arms are withdrawn when losses and wounds are grievous and glory when the battle is pitched in the field there is glory when the heart's just dying Retreat leads to rowdems and arms are laid down Enough fire goes out.

[Kevin Allison]

This is risk. This is Loudon Wainwright III behind me now. And we just heard from Jim Stevens. You can find out so much more about all of the writing that Jim does at JIM stevens, Writer. Folks, I said it once and I'll say it again. Come see Risk in Atlanta on May 8th, in D.C. on June 7th, and in Philly on June 19th. Tickets to our live events are always at risk-show.com live. And Mother's Day is coming up, so in a couple days we'll be releasing the best of Mother's Day stories. But that's Thursday. And folks, today's the day. Take a risk.

[Jim Stevens]

When losses and wounds are grievous and glory when the battle is pitched in the field there is glory when heart's just darn in it. The street leads to brown and arms are laid down and the fire goes out.

[Kerry Dougherty]

Sa.