
Brittany Ross and Sam Feirstein take the RISK! LA stage tell of how they both wanted onto the screen, because the screen is where they'd learned, as kids, that the real people live: the famous, the admired, the thin, the chosen. Each came within reach of the dream, and each discovered, up close, that it had been a nightmare all along.
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On this episode of Risk, you'll hear,
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I really wanted to be a model.
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And you'll hear, if it's just slight
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stalking, I can keep it on my own terms.
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And me, Kevin Allison on the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share. Folks in my 40s and 50s, one of my biggest disappointments has been that no one ever really taught me about skincare. I just come from a generation of midwestern men who were really out of the loop for decades. So in recent years, I have experimented with a gazillion skincare products. But I found it's just so overwhelming. There's so many different things I've tried that left me saying, okay, is this doing anything? You know, there's a lot of wrinkles now and the dullness and looseness and the dark circles and bags under the eyes. It stresses me out. So I have to say I'm also genuinely grateful that our sponsor, One Skin sent me their OS1 peptide products for the face and under eye treatment. I'm actually seeing and feeling an unmistakable difference. My skin is brighter and it's tighter, it's softer, it's not greasy. And even the under eye, the tired, dark, baggy stuff is fading away. The thing is, as we age, some skin cells stop functioning the way they should. Longevity scientists call them zombie cells and One Skins OS one peptide was specifically engineered to address those doing something most skin care was never built to do. Their results are backed by four peer reviewed clinical studies, over 10,000 five star reviews. And it was all born from over a decade of longevity research. OneSkin's OS1 peptide is proven to target the visible signs of aging, helping you unlock your healthiest skin now. And as you age, for a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using the code risk at OneSkin co. Risk. That's 15% off OneSkin co with the code risk. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you.
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I sold my car in Carvana last night.
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Well, that's cool.
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No, you don't understand. It went perfectly. Real offer, down to the penny. They're picking it up tomorrow. Nothing went wrong.
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So what's the problem?
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That is the problem. Nothing in my life goes to smoothie. I'm waiting for the catch.
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Maybe there's no catch.
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That's exactly what a catch would want me to think.
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Wow, you need to relax.
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I need to knock on wood. Do we have wood? Is this table wood?
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I think it's Laminate.
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Okay, yeah, that's good.
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That's close enough. Car selling without a catch. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pick up. Fees may apply.
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The Cambria hotel's got it all.
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A rooftop bar. Have a ball. Bring a date, your squad or even your mom. Book direct@ChoiceHotels.com. Okay, folks, this is Rafter Buy me now. And we're calling this week's episode negative attention. When somebody likes it and when somebody does. First up, we have Brittney Ross at the Risk live show in Los Angeles. It's a story we call look at me.
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I am an actress. You may recognize me as the decoy from To Catch a Predator. I used to play like a lot of really young teenage roles when I was like nearing 30 years old. One time I was at an audition and I was like 27, 28, auditioning for a 14 year old. And this kid was like, so you drive? I was like, yeah, I drive. I live in L. A, you know. Then I was like, oh, this 16 year old is sitting on me. I was like, if I was 16, could I get this guy? I mean, like, he's a cool actor. Dude, cool. Sometimes here I feel like I'm leaving the longest voicemail ever. Okay, anyways, when I first moved to LA, I was just in my early 20s. I was full of dreams and collagen and I lived, you know, I was like doing what we all did. Like, I shredded my college diploma. I became what we all are, spiritual. I was like socializing through hiking. And I was just desperate for somebody to approach me and say, like, you're the girl we've been looking for to star in our next movie. I mean, why else would you hike Grandyon Canyon in full hair and makeup? And I was really hustling. I was giving it my all. I was taking every class, like acting, improv, breathing. Did you guys know there's a class for breathing? And I was working at so many jobs. I was a waitress, a bartender, a princess for high end LA birthday parties, which I loved because I finally got to use my real voice. And I, you know, I was really hustling. I was giving it my all. I was getting nothing back. And one day I was home alone in the middle of the day because I lived in this big apartment building in North Hollywood, and when you're an actor, you're home alone. I had two roommates. They were at work, so I was bored out of my mind. And I heard this knock at the door. And then this stern British woman's voice said, it's your neighbor. And I was like, oh, okay. Either we have a new neighbor or there's another actor in the building studying for an upcoming role. And either way, I'm really jealous. And I answered the door, and it was like, a petite woman. At the time, I was like, she's so old. She's like 40. And she. Before I could even say anything, she goes, you know what you're doing? And I was like, drinking coffee and neurotically refreshing my email. And she's like, you. I live one floor below you. You are following me everywhere I go. When I go in one room, you go in that room. When I go in another room, you go in that. I turn on the water, you turn on the water. She's like, you are in my apartment, and you are following me everywhere I go. And I was like, okay, well, you know how you're not supposed to call a crazy person crazy, right? I hadn't learned that lesson yet, so I just said, okay, lady, you're crazy. And I slammed the door. And then I thought, wow, you know, they say nobody comes knocking on your door looking for you in this town. And, like, this lady is doing that, and I kind of into it. And later that day, I went to work at my bar job, and when I got home, my roommates were like, the neighbor came looking for you. She asked, is the little munchkin home? And clearly, we all knew who she was talking about. And I was like, oh, it's kind of nice to have someone interested in me. And honestly, like, I know she's, like, targeting me because I call the crazy person crazy, but. But I'm really glad she picked me and not one of my roommates, because this is the first time I have felt chosen since I moved to Los Angeles. And I was like, if it's just slight stalking, I can keep this under control. I can keep it on my own terms. So the next day, I go down to the mailbox, and she's there, and she's like, oh, Stuart Little's little sister. And I'm like, are they making that? Can I get in on that? I was like, meanwhile, I'm paying some acting teacher out the ass to tell me what my casting is, and this woman is nailing it every time. And then she started taking pictures of me. And she said it was proof for her lawyer that I was stalking her. And, you know, so I smiled because I wanted to look good. And then she started to get even more aggressive, and I was like, oh, my God, I have to get out of here. And I ran to my car. And I'm just thinking, like, this is exhilarating. Chaos is my comfort zone. I'm like, this is bringing me back to life. I feel like I'm the star of my own Lifetime movie. I'm like, she's Tiffany Amber Thiessen. I'm Tori Spelling. And I get to my car, and she starts taking pictures of my license plate. And I rolled down my window, and I was like, don't take pictures of me. I got home from work later, and there was a post it on my mailbox that said, stop following me, Polly Pocket. And I was like, oh, she's good. And this continued over, like, the next few weeks. I would get threads, things like, stop following me, Petrie from the Land Before Time. And I'm like, wow, that is a deep cut and spot on. My roommates were like, this is insane. You need to tell the building manager about this. And I was like, yeah, but if I tell her, maybe it's gonna stop. So I definitely don't want to do that. And, you know, then I started to think, like, okay, maybe I'm the crazy one because I'm addicted to this toxic attention. And then I was like, no, no. That's the price of being amused. Keep it to yourself. Never say a word. So I just went on and let this continue to happen. And a few days later, she was waiting for me outside my door, and she cornered me in the hallway, and she started screaming at me, and I was like, oh, my God, what is happening? Fans, don't do this. And she started to chase me around the. And I am, like, running with so much fear inside my body, and I start to think I should totally be in a slasher movie. I did not know I had this kind of fear inside of me. And another neighbor saw her and, like, grabbed her and pulled her into the building manager's office. And I ran to my car, and I was like, okay, I've definitely let this get out of control. So I Went down to the police station to file a restraining order and was told I could only do that on Fridays between 12 and 2pm and I was like, okay, but what if I get an audition on Friday between 12 and 2pm? I didn't. I did not get an audition. I went home and as I was walking into my building, I started to get really scared. I was like, okay, this is real. This is a real thing that's happening. She could, like, she's unhinged. She could do anything. Like, what if she gets into my apartment somehow and like starts following me around? And I was like freaking out. And the building manager pulled me in her office and was like, we evicted her. We've been trying to do it for months because she hasn't been paying her rent. And this was the last straw and she knew it and she just up and left. She's gone. And I was like, oh, well, she never said bye to me, but fine. Nobody told me where she went. I like to think she went on to become a casting director because I think she'd be so good at it. But I went up to my apartment and the gravity of like, the whole like, seriousness of this situation really started to sink in. And I started to cry while looking at myself in the mirror because I think it's important for actors to know what they look like when they cry. And I was like, this is so beautiful. Like, for a brief moment, we really helped each other. Like, I gave her something to fixate on. She gave me the attention I desperately was craving. And, you know, we were there for each other. And then I looked deep in my own eyes and I was like, you know what? You don't need this crazy attention because clearly you are mentally unstable yourself. And from that day on, I decided I was going to be my own psychotic fan. And now whenever I get cast as like the voice of some woodland creature, like a, I don't know, flying hamster, baby kangaroo, I always think of my stalker and like, how grateful I am to her because she's the first person in this town who actually saw me.
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Nope.
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This is risk. This is behind me now. And we just heard from Brittney Ross, whose podcast Full out with Britney Ross is where entertainers confess the intense and occasionally unhinged passions they pursued before the careers. You know them from it's on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and YouTube, and you can find Britney on Instagram at I am Brittany Ross folks. My next online storytelling workshop starts June 28th. It's every Sunday morning at 10am Eastern time and it's even OK if you missed the first session. A recent student said it was invigorating to learn how to take all my rambling rants, all my thoughts, feelings, memories start to take proper shape into actual stories. And another said I'm hopelessly introverted, but Kevin talked about how introverts often have the most compelling things to share and I was truly surprised to find myself proving that to myself. So email me at kevinrisk-show.com to learn how you you can jump in on this next one or any of my online storytelling workshops in the future, folks. One of our Patreon patrons named Steve wrote this to us. I was fortunate to discover Risk during the darkest period of my life. It's run the gamut from life boy to comfortable companion to pleasant distraction to source of side splitting joy. I hope my support will enable the team to continue to provide this utterly unique content. Thank you so much Steve and dear listener. You too can join our Patreon and get nearly 300 bonus stories, an ad free episode feed. You can watch our live live shows there and so much more@patreon.com risk and if you're already a patron, consider moving up to a higher tier. Or you can send a one time donation at paypal me riskshow or through zellevanask-show.com now our next story also comes to us from a Risk live show in Los Angeles. This one comes from Sam Firestein and it's a story we call you Need Huskies.
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Way back in the 1990s, I was stone broke living in a converted garage. It had carpet and a window, but I mean, it was a garage. When I got a call from a really good buddy of mine, Brian was a commercial director and he goes, dude, I'm putting you in a commercial. It's a huge national spot. It's gonna be a big media buy. You're gonna make like 50 grand guaranteed. I was like, oh my God, like that's amazing. And he goes, look, it's just a formality, but tomorrow you have to go down to the casting, just get put on tape. But don't even worry about it, man. It's done. And I'm like, oh my God. So the next day I go down and I'm at this casting facility and it's this cavernous place and it's packed with commercial models and actors, which. Oh, my God. I have never. It was just a sea of genetic perfection. Like, I have. It was like. Like, just cheerleaders and quarterbacks everywhere, and I'm like, oh, my God. And I was there with them, and I'm like, I. Ooh. Because the thing was, I have never been an actor or model, any of that stuff, but I'm there, and I'm like, oh, my God, I'm here. I'm one of them. Thank you. Because, you see, the thing was, deep, deep down inside, I had a dream that I'd never told anybody that was kind of feeling like it was coming true. I really wanted to be a model. Thank you for laughing. I know it's sort of. You're looking at me and like, oh, hey, five foot ten, Mr. Extreme Average. Like, yeah, explain yourself. Well, I will. I'll explain. It's very simple. Issues. Duh. I'm born and raised in Los Angeles. Come on. Issues. And I know I can pinpoint the moment it all happened, like, the second it all went bad. And let's go there now, right? Let's just travel back and let's find Young Sam Fierstein, 8 years old, standing in a dressing room at the Miller's Outpost in North Hollywood, getting my new fall collection for the coming school year. I was in the dressing room, and I was having trouble. I was having a few. Something was wrong. Something just wasn't working right. So I called out to my mother, and I go, mom, I need some help. And she rips back the curtain, takes one look at me and goes, oh, you need Husky. I was like, what? Like, I didn't even know what husky meant. But I went into a sheer panic, and I started to sweat, and I was like, what do you mean? Like, what is it? And I just knew something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong, but I didn't know what. But I found out when I showed up at school for the first day of third grade a couple of days later, the first few minutes of the first day, my buddy Aaron took one look at me and goes, oh, my God. What happened? What had happened was somehow between June and September, I had gotten fat. Like, I had gotten really, really fat. And I didn't know it. Like, I hadn't even noticed that this had taken place. Over the course of that summer, the change in me was so dramatic that literally my entire third grade class, that I'd been together with these kids since kindergarten, they were all looking at me like, oh, my God. Look at them, look at them. And I was like, what guy? And I'm trying to like, there's no big deal. And they're like, oh yeah, oh yeah. Like I didn't know what to do. But they did. They were like, let's get them. Because it was. Oh, it was like Thunderdome out there. Cuz the thing was, this was 1976. There was no such thing as body positivity back then. No, it was literally Lord of the Flies. And I was Piggy. And you know what they did to Piggy? They killed Piggy, right? Oh yeah. And they did. And it was like all of my friends, everybody just turned against me. And in fact, the entire world, it felt like had turned against me. And I had all the evidence for that. Because literally that year, 1976, the biggest kids film of the year was a little ditty called Bugsy Malone from the director of Angel Heart and Midnight Express. He made a kids film and it starred Jodie Foster and Scott Baio. And in it he had a character, one of the main characters was called Fat Sam. Literally, the moment I got fat, the biggest kids film of the year had a character in it called Fat Sam. And I knew at that moment, if there's a God, he hates me. Because after that, that was it. That was all anybody ever called me. Fat Sam. Fat Sam. Fat Sam. You're so fat you shouldn't be allowed to eat lunch. You're so fat. Don't let Fat Sam get in front of you in the snack line. Oh. Oh my God. Fat Sam. Fat, fat, fat, fat. And it was just, and it wasn't just Fat Sam. There was an array of nicknames that grew out of that. Because also at that time, the 70s were horrible. There was a very racist chain of diners at the time called Sambos. Right? And none of the kids knew about the racism behind it, but they thought, oh, sambo sounds fat. So then I became Big Fat Sambo and Fat Sambo. And then because I also had a very striking resemblance to another restaurant chains corporate icon, it became Bob's Big Bow and Sam, Bob's Big Bo. And think all they did was torture me. I was completely erased. As a human being, it didn't matter what I accomplished. Like that year I actually won a writing contest that was put on by Scholastic Books and the LA Unified School District. I won. Was there any notice? Did anybody ever. No, nothing. I was just Fat Sam. And I was erased because of how I looked. And that went on every single day for the next 10 years until I Graduated high school, they would never let me forget. My body was my enemy. They were my enemy. The world was my enemy. And as far as dating in high school went, that can be just summed up in one glorious moment with Molly Leary, Jr. Year of high school, when I asked her out, and she looked at me and she just. She was so confused. And she looks and she's like, but, Sam, you're fat. Sam, come on, you're fat. Yeah. So it didn't matter that when I got into my 20s, I started biking and learning about nutrition and turning things around and really changing my life, because when I got inside of that audition, all I could think was, yes, I just want pure physical adoration. I want to be a model. I want to be doted on and loved and paid a big fat check simply for how I looked. And it being my first audition, I started catching on pretty quickly as to how things work with models. They had a group of us lined up in there, and, you know, they asked the first guy, the casting director asked the first guy, Johnny Quarterback. He goes, oh, so tell me about your first car. And he starts telling him this great story about his car. And I'm thinking, oh, I've got great stories. My first car was a piece of junk. Because they're just trying to get, you know, a feel for our model personalities is kind of how that goes. And, you know, and he looks at the second guy and he goes, hey, did you play high school sports? And the guy goes, yeah, I played quarterback. Of course he played quarterback, right. And he starts telling a story about that. I'm like, well, I don't have a story about that, but I got fun stories. And then he gets to me and he just kind of stops. And he looks and he's like, yeah. And then he looks at my paperwork and he goes, oh, so you're from Los Angeles. Like, you're born and raised in la? I go, yeah. And he goes, so tell me, has Los Angeles become, like, a much more dangerous city over the course of your life? Like, has it become, like a much more like just a really dangerous place? Is there a big, like, rising place? Crime? The what? Like, I didn't say that, but I'm thinking, like, where's my question about prom? Like, what the. Oh, God. I left there. I was really confused when I left. And Brian called the next day, and he goes, dude, what happened? I was like, what? What? What, what? And he goes, oh, my God, dude. We're sitting there with the agency and we're watching the casting tapes. And, you know, it's like the first guy, I don't know, he's telling some story about a car, so then the next guy is telling, you know, stories about football. And then the camera pans over to you. Well, it pans over to a big empty space, and then it shakes and points down. And when it finds you, the agency guy screamed out, oh, my God, who let the serial killer in? I was like, no, really? And he goes, oh, yeah. And they didn't let it go, man. They kept going, like, is this a joke? What's this guy doing here? Like, is this. Like, is it. Seriously, man, Is it a joke? And they just kept going on and on and on about the serial killer. And I'm like, you've got to be kidding me. And I said to him, I go, brian, was it really that bad? And he goes, well, it didn't help when you started talking about, like, murder statistics. I was like, but that was the question he asked me. I goes, I don't know. And he goes, oh, man. I'm like, did I really look like a serial killer? He goes, you kind of looked a little intense, and it was so bad. And so later that night, I. I was dating somebody, this girl, Robin. And I was over at her place, and. And she's all over me because she's like, what happened? What happened? Tell me about the audition. What went on with the audition? And I told her. I told her everything about the serial killer and that they just kept calling me a serial killer and bringing people in to watch my tape and kept pointing. They made a whole day out of my tape as a serial killer. And she goes, oh, yeah, I get that. What? And I look at her and go, robin, what do you mean? And she goes, oh, yeah. I always thought that about you. Like, you could be one of those, you know, character actors, like a guest star on Law and Order who, you know, like the serial killer pedophile who is on trial, and, you know, he gets found innocent at the end of the show, but you still never trust. I'm looking at her like, are you? Like, one, that's so specific. And two, it's like, robin, is that what you think when you look at me? And she goes, what? You're not mad at me, are you? I was like, mad. Oh, no, I'm not mad that, like, the woman I'm dating, like, thinks I look like a serial killer pedophile, which is so much worse than just, like, a regular serial killer. And she goes, oh, don't be so sensitive. I know you would never do that. That, that doesn't really help. And she goes, ah, you're just sensitive. Now tell me, come on, what happened with the commercial? Are you guys. When are you shooting? Like, when's it happening? I'm like, shooting, shooting. Are you kidding me? Do you know what he told Brian? At the end of the day, the ad agency, they told Brian, they go, hey, man, look, we love all the work you're doing. We think it's great. Tell you what, cast, anybody you want, just do us a favor, keep that serial killer off of our set. Yeah. So that was it. I did not pass go. I did not collect $50,000. I did not get the validation that I'd been, you know, the pure physical looking validation that I wanted all my life from these people. And I was going to have to do really constructive inside work to learn how to love myself. And that's been, you know, 30 years ago, and I'm still waiting for Brian to put me in a commercial. Thank you, guys. This is Risk.
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This is Rafter behind me now. And we just heard from Sam Fierstein, who you can find on Instagram. Amfirestein. I'll tell you. God, it would be hard to express just how much has been happening behind the scenes here at the show lately. Massive health scares for some of the members of our team and massive health scares for family members of some of the members of our team. Jeff Barr, our episode editor, who has been with us since very nearly the beginning of the podcast history, is retiring from his post. We're going to have a whole episode about that soon. And I'm getting ready to launch an expansion of the Story studio, offering training and tutoring especially to students and professionals in Asia on storytelling for job interviews, college entrance exams, pitch meetings, client networking, and more. And our most recent Bangkok Stories workshop this past weekend was genuinely thrilling. Just such a wonderfully diverse group of absolute beginners sharing such entertaining and heartfelt and moving true stories. If you are in Bangkok, look us up on Facebook or Instagram at Bangkok Storieshow. Anyway, all of that is to say, I am very overdue for a check in over on Patreon soon. And don't forget to be shouting out the stories you've liked on our social media with the hashtag I heard it on Risk on all our social media. I'm hekevinalison and we're Risk show for this episode. Taj Easton directed and was our episode editor. John La Sala produced and Jeff Barr was Jeff Barr. Folks, today's the day. Take a risk. Samoan.
B
You're fat. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Fat Sam. Fat Sam, Fat Sam. You're so fat, you shouldn't be allowed to eat lunch. You're so bad.
C
Don't let fat Sam get in front of you.
B
The what?
A
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
B
Oh, my.
A
Oh, my God.
B
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
RISK! Podcast – Episode Summary
Title: Negative Attention
Date: June 23, 2026
Host: Kevin Allison
In the "Negative Attention" episode of RISK!, host Kevin Allison guides listeners through two raw, relatable, and darkly funny stories told live in Los Angeles. Both stories revolve around the pursuit and pitfalls of attention—wanted and unwanted—and the complex feelings that result. Through sharply delivered anecdotes about acting, modeling, bullying, and identity, the episode explores how negative attention can become entangled with validation, self-perception, and personal growth.
[Timestamps: 04:52–14:13]
Brittney Ross, an actress known for playing teenage roles well into adulthood, shares a wild encounter with an unhinged neighbor who becomes her personal stalker, ultimately giving her the attention she desperately craved in early Hollywood days.
[Timestamps: 20:25–33:46]
Sam Firestein recounts a humiliating modeling audition rooted in a lifelong struggle with body image, bullying, and the search for acceptance.
“Negative Attention” is a bittersweet, hilarious deep dive into how we chase—or endure—unwanted scrutiny, and how meaning or even gratitude can sometimes be stripped from a truly cringe or harrowing experience. The live stories bristle with authenticity and emotional intelligence while holding tight onto RISK!’s trademark irreverence.
End of Summary