Summary of "RISK!" Podcast Episode: "Sex, Death & High School"

Episode Title: Sex, Death & High School
Release Date: January 9, 2025
Host: Kevin Allison
Featured Storytellers: Kelly McFarland and Dave Ross

Introduction

In the "Sex, Death & High School" episode of "RISK!", host Kevin Allison delves into two profoundly personal and transformative high school experiences. Originally premiered in January 2013, this episode features comedian and actress Kelly McFarland sharing a harrowing encounter with death, followed by Dave Ross narrating his awkward and memorable journey through losing his virginity. The episode juxtaposes themes of vulnerability, responsibility, and the complexities of adolescent life, all delivered with the signature humor and raw honesty that "RISK!" is known for.

Story 1: "Where the Walrus Touched Me" by Kelly McFarland

Timestamp: [06:05]

Kelly McFarland begins her story by recounting her freshman year in high school when she hesitantly enrolled in a CPR class. "All my friends were going to take the class, so I took the class, too," she explains ([06:05]). Initially uninterested, Kelly finds the class surprisingly enjoyable due to the engaging teaching methods, such as practicing CPR on a dummy named Resuscitation Annie while singing "Staying Alive."

The Incident:

During a family summer camping trip in Maine, Kelly's life takes an unexpected turn. While preparing for her cousin's birthday party, a frantic woman approaches their campsite seeking help. "Does anyone know CPR? Does anyone know CPR? Anyone?" Kelly recalls shouting in panic ([10:47]). Despite her nervousness, she steps up to perform CPR on a man who has been pulled from the lake.

Kelly vividly describes the man: "He was ginormous, just enormous. I'm 5ft tall... he looked like a giant walrus on his back" ([10:47]). As she attempts CPR, the gravity of the situation becomes overwhelming. "I felt the ribs break underneath my hands... he wasn't reviving," she narrates, highlighting the intense physical and emotional strain of the moment.

Aftermath:

The experience leaves Kelly emotionally scarred. Upon returning to the campsite, the family seamlessly transitions back to celebrating the birthday without acknowledging the tragedy. "We didn't speak. We didn't speak about it," Kelly shares ([19:39]). Reflecting on the incident, she concludes, "This experience has made me realize that there's nothing I can't overcome with a delicious piece of chocolate on chocolate bear cake."

Notable Quotes:

• "Does anyone know CPR? Does anyone know CPR? Anyone?" ([10:47])
• "We didn't speak. We didn't speak about it." ([19:39])
• "There's nothing I can't overcome with a delicious piece of chocolate on chocolate bear cake." ([19:39])

Story 2: "Dave Had Sex" by Dave Ross

Timestamp: [25:13]

Dave Ross takes listeners on a candid and humorous journey through his high school years, focusing on his quest to lose his virginity. "Sex was not gonna happen for me organically," Dave admits ([25:13]). Growing up in a conservative household with stringent religious influences, Dave describes himself as "nerdy and reserved," struggling with social interactions, especially with girls.

The Relationship:

Meeting Jen in theater, Dave builds a nine-month relationship characterized by kissing, holding hands, and mutual respect for each other's boundaries. However, the time comes when Jen asks if they want to take their relationship to the next level. "Do you want to have sex?" he recalls her asking, to which he enthusiastically responds, "Yes. Oh, God, yes, I do" ([25:13]).

The Elaborate Plan:

Due to his and Jen's conservative backgrounds, Dave devises a meticulous plan to lose his virginity without parental knowledge, enlisting the help of his confident friend, James. The plan involves distracting his mother and escaping to a secluded spot in the woods. "James was just a really confident asshole," Dave describes James's role in the plan ([25:13]).

The Execution:

After successfully sneaking away and spending four awkward hours in the woods, Dave and Jen return home. However, their secrecy is threatened when mud and leaves from their excursion cling to their clothes, raising suspicion among Jen's conservative parents. In a tense moment, a confrontational Jen's father appears, leading to an unexpected and comical intervention by James: "Hey, asshole," he yells at Jen's father, who accidentally whips himself in the process ([38:13]).

Aftermath and Resolution:

The next day at school, Dave anticipates newfound respect and attention but instead faces a bully. In a critical moment, James once again comes to his rescue, standing up to the bully and affirming their friendship. "I still thank him for that," Dave states with gratitude ([38:13]).

Notable Quotes:

• "Sex was not gonna happen for me organically." ([25:13])
• "Do you want to have sex?" "Yes. Oh, God, yes, I do." ([25:13])
• "Hey, asshole." ([38:13])
• "I still thank him for that." ([38:13])

Host's Closing Remarks

Kevin Allison wraps up the episode by encouraging listeners to engage with the show through submissions and social media. He also teases upcoming content, including a new storytelling course and an online birthday hangout for fans. His final encouragement encapsulates the essence of "RISK!": "Folks, today's the day. Take a risk." ([40:27])

Conclusion

The "Sex, Death & High School" episode of "RISK!" masterfully intertwines two distinct yet equally impactful stories, showcasing the raw and unfiltered human experiences of navigating adolescence. Kelly McFarland's encounter with death and Dave Ross's quest for intimacy highlight themes of courage, vulnerability, and the unintended consequences of taking risks. Through humor and heartfelt narration, both storytellers offer listeners a profound glimpse into pivotal moments that define one's formative years.

This detailed summary captures the essence of the episode, highlighting the key points, emotional depth, and the storytellers' unique perspectives, making it accessible and engaging for those who haven't listened to the episode.