Ryan Reynolds (4:32)

Well, I appreciate you listening. Thanks for your kind words that I've read you say, and I appreciate that.

Taj Easton (4:37)

Oh, absolutely, man. Thank you for all of your words. Kind and otherwise. They seem to almost exclusively be kind.

Ryan Reynolds (4:46)

In the context of our show. For sure. Yeah.

Taj Easton (4:48)

Okay. You are capable of unkind words.

Ryan Reynolds (4:51)

Oh, yeah, definitely. Yeah, absolutely. It's been a journey from it being my primary language to an exception.

Taj Easton (4:59)

Yeah, I hear you, man. I've listened to you quite a lot on youn Are Good. And I get the sense that you're someone who's done a lot of work.

Ryan Reynolds (5:09)

For sure. I just had lunch with a friend, and I'm not in recovery, but I've been on that journey. And I'm. I consider a lot of the steps as fundamental to living a good life, whether or not someone is in recovery.

Taj Easton (5:22)

Oh, yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (5:23)

But I think that, you know, the best stuff that comes out of all that for me is that we can't control a situation as much as our brain makes us think that we can control it. Like, all we can do is build a machine that is suited to respond and not respond when it's appropriate to do either one of them. And, yeah, that's what we do. Ideally.

Taj Easton (5:41)

Fuck, yeah. And with the touch of humility, if possible.

Ryan Reynolds (5:44)

Yeah, yeah. Well, you need that one. You know, that's the most universal internal dragon, that sense of seriousness about all things that comes from thinking that we have more control over things than we really do.

Taj Easton (5:59)

Yeah, man. So generally you will.

Ryan Reynolds (6:06)

Yeah, I would say so. We're at the end of 2024. We've got two and a half weeks, maybe three weeks before the end of this year. Last year I read like 125 books.

Taj Easton (6:18)

Damn.

Ryan Reynolds (6:19)

And I watched an incredible amount of movies and I thought about a lot of stuff and all that. And this year I read seven half books. And it was because I, you know, last year was the fueling year to take in everything I needed to make all the stuff I needed to make this year. And then this year I spent it all. And I can already feel like I'm gearing up to spend a good portion of this next year refueling.

Taj Easton (6:43)

Okay, got you. Is it a year on, year off? Is that kind of a typical cycle or just how it worked out this time around?

Ryan Reynolds (6:50)

I am a person of cycles. Years make it easy to recognize some of them because of just how things are organized. But whenever someone's like, oh, I did. Yeah, like that reading thing, right? Like, I read all those books and then I didn't read this year. Like, I don't. There's a part of me that for a second is tempted to read that as a failing, but then I'm like, I did what I was capable of doing, you know, but it works out. It tends to work out at the very least. Just like the year in retrospect is always a framework for thinking about what you want to do better or worse differently next year. Not better or worse, but yeah. I tend to be a person who operates in cycles and I feel myself ending whatever cycle I was in this year and preparing for the next one.

Taj Easton (7:34)

It's cool to hear the constant drive to be learning and fueling.

Ryan Reynolds (7:40)

I took care of my dad when he was dying when I was 26, for a couple years, on and off. And I often say, and I think people can sometimes feel unsettled by this. And I think people, my dad didn't die when I was young, young, but I was youngish. I was just starting my career. And it had a lot of impacts, negative just from dealing with the logistics. But I often joke that the greatest gift he gave me was to die in front of him because it really makes you. I haven't slowed down ever. The implications of that could sound negative. I've tried to be as healthy as I can in that journey, but I didn't hit 35 and go, well, I can kind of take it easy now. And I didn't hit 40 and go, well, I can take it easy now. And I didn't hit, you know, I'm on the eve of my 42nd year. I saw up close a lovely but difficult man who had a lot of regrets about things that he wasn't able to get done in his lifetime. And I didn't want to do that.

Taj Easton (8:37)

I feel you, man. So it has been a continual reminder that this is all finite and there are certain things you want to do before you go.

Ryan Reynolds (8:46)

Yeah, for sure. And there's certain things that I think it's important to be gentle with yourself and it's important to acknowledge your limitations and it's important to do all that. But it's also important to call yourself yourself on bullshit. I sometimes get a little nervous that some of the self soothing therapy language we have, pop Internet psychology therapy language. There's a lot of good that comes from it because there's a lot of people who are able to talk about things that they didn't have access to unless they had a doctor's visit prior. And that's a good thing and a lot of it also I have seen some of the language be used for folks talking themselves out of doing anything.

Taj Easton (9:20)

Ever kind of letting themselves off the hook a little easy.

Ryan Reynolds (9:23)

Yeah. And I know that. I've seen it. I was there. When you're on your deathbed, you're going to be pissed at yourself for not pushing harder. So. Yeah, but I'm good. That's a long way of saying I'm good.

Taj Easton (9:36)

Good. You are good.

Ryan Reynolds (9:41)

How are you doing?

Taj Easton (9:43)

Yeah, I'm really good. I had a challenging couple of weeks. I was in the hospital suddenly unexpectedly with a coll collapsed lung, which can just happen, apparently. Yeah, that was a big, big surprise.

Ryan Reynolds (9:59)

I bet.

Taj Easton (10:00)

But yeah, it just went. And then I went to the hospital for like four days and they straightened it out and I felt fine after two days. And so I am kind of riding a high from getting out of the hospital and the icu, which is awful for my disposition. Yeah, yeah. I crave novelty. I don't know if I told you in an email, you and Sarah helped me come very recently. To an ADHD diagnosis.

Ryan Reynolds (10:27)

Oh, good.

Taj Easton (10:28)

Yes.

Ryan Reynolds (10:29)

Yes. I'm glad to hear that. The primary thing that is helpful to know when you have ADHD is not, in all the stuff that I said before about this is an area I have seen people give themselves a lot more leeway than they necessarily need. But I do think the primary thing is knowing how your memory works with regard to time.

Taj Easton (10:49)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (10:50)

And knowing that it is not a personal failing.

Taj Easton (10:53)

That's really what has been helpful for me. The pendulum may swing to where I'm letting myself off very easy, but, yeah, it's been a goal of mine the last couple years to give myself more grace and talk to myself nicely.

Ryan Reynolds (11:06)

Good.

Taj Easton (11:07)

And this has been sort of another stone along that path.

Ryan Reynolds (11:12)

Good.

Taj Easton (11:13)

The ADHD diagnosis has been like, dude, yeah, your brain's different than some other people's brains. That's okay.

Ryan Reynolds (11:19)

Yeah, totally.

Taj Easton (11:21)

But all this just to say that getting out of the hospital was great. Is that kind of relief that you get when, like, something that's really unpleasant is over and it's kind of like a new, new day?

Ryan Reynolds (11:33)

Yeah, it's ideal.

Taj Easton (11:35)

So, yeah. Yeah. That's the biggest thing that's happened my last couple weeks. I'm really excited to talk to you. I've been looking forward to this a lot. Yeah. In this moment, I'm aware of kind of excitement, glee, maybe a touch of nervousness, even.

Ryan Reynolds (11:52)

All right. On. Well, it'll be fun.

Taj Easton (11:54)

Let's have fun, man.

Ryan Reynolds (11:55)

All right. What do we do?

Taj Easton (11:57)

Well, I don't know. You said maybe that you got. Something's happened to you in your life that is story. Like.

Ryan Reynolds (12:03)

Yeah, I have a thing that has happened recently, and it's kind of shaped what. As I was saying, looking at the next year, what I'm going to do, I know it's informed at least one of the projects that I'm going to take on, and it has to do with a strange and sudden war with my landlords. And I'm a person who I don't even know how to put into words my sense of justice and injustice. If I see someone cut in line, I just can't not say something or get involved or whatever. It stems from two things, I think. Well, it stems from many, many, many things, but it stems from two instances that I can directly recall. One is, well, it comes from all the feelings of chaos of my own upbringing and feeling like, you know, wanting to advocate for that kid who had no one to advocate for him in a lot of ways. So that's a big one. But the.

Taj Easton (12:58)

That's a big one.

Ryan Reynolds (12:59)

So. And for a long time, I just do it for other people and not realize I was processing shit for myself. Yeah, I became very fascinated with people who, in the earlier Internet, would fixate on, like, unsolved murders. And. And I could see in them that they were working something out for themselves. They were personalizing these things. I was really into the tragic murder of Dominique Dunne, who was in the Poltergeist. And her father is Dominic Dunne. Her aunt was Joan Didion. And this murder, her murderer got off for four years. It was intimate partner violence. It was a terrible thing. And I saw a lot of people go after the killer. And you could tell that it wasn't about Dominique Dunn. How could it be? She's a person that they did not know was someone they were laundering their feelings towards. And I could see that in them. But I. I had no idea. I was working on it for myself whenever I would sort of get this sense of injustice. And so there's that. And then back in. I think I was 17, and I had just gotten an apartment in Portland, Maine, which is about 30 miles outside of the rural area that I lived in. I got my own apartment before high school even ended, because I wanted to go. And I was walking one night, and I saw. It was late, and I saw a woman who very clearly a woman get approached by a guy who crossed the street specifically to be very close to her. And he didn't see me. I don't even know what made me know what to do. I walked up and approached and started talking to her like I knew her. And I was like, hey, how is so and so? And like, I could see her register it quickly. And she talked or whatever. We walked a couple blocks. He left. I went on my way. And I was like, from that point on, for like four or five months, I didn't sleep because I was like, that's happening out there somewhere, and I don't like that. And so there was that. And then a mirror to that was that same year, maybe later that year, I saw someone I know from college. She was out with her friends, and there were a couple women. There were a couple of guys. And one of the guys was being very clearly not yet fighty, but aggressive towards one of her friends. And I immediately sort of was present and got involved. And she got in my ear and she was like, you need to leave. He will kill you.

Taj Easton (15:06)

Oh.

Ryan Reynolds (15:07)

And I left. And I have forever been like, that was the wrong choice. And since I have never not gotten involved in a thing. And my approach has changed very much. It used to be be big and now I think I know enough about de escalation and things of that nature to my approach to writing situations is very different from what it was when I was young and believe myself to be tougher. And for example, last year I was walking with my partner, Carol, MD. And there's many people who live unhoused folks here in Los Angeles. And a lot have unaddressed mental health issues because of structural societal issues, because of a refusal of people with means to acknowledge that plight and to be engaged. But this guy, he's not well, and he got in the face of a younger girl, she was 15 or 16. And I'd sort of gotten in between them and tried to make sure everything was okay. And he immediately, he pulled a knife and I, you know, talked him out of using the knife. And I just go to like. It's like I almost just go to a different plane in those situations. For some reason, I'm very calm and I'm not calm about a lot of things, but those sorts of things bring me to a calm place. So anyway, that's to give background on my relationship with injustice. And I have only recently started to afford myself the same luxury I would afford all the people in my life. So I'll support friends, creative endeavors, but I don't believe that I should be allowed to have creative endeavors. And only recently was I like, oh, this is for you too. You're supporting all these people because you love and support them. But also this is a way to get to you. I'm always the last on my list and I will eventually realize it. And so my landlords, I've had this situation with them that has made me realize that sometime next year I'm going to make a podcast miniseries about the history of rent in tenancy in the 21st century. Because my first apartment, that apartment that I had in Munjoy Hill in Portland, when I saw that girl walking, and I intervened, I had in the early part of 2001. And so I've been renting in one way or another for the entirety of this century. And I've seen it change a whole lot, all for the worse for tenants as we're not surprised today. But one of the things I was surprised and I'm surprised every year one way or another, is my landlords started harassing me. There's no other word for it. They started harassing me and I didn't know. And I'll explain how that looks But I didn't know until they did that landlord harassment is so prevalent and regular an issue that there are often sort of departments within law firms that deal with that.

Taj Easton (18:10)

Holy shit.

Ryan Reynolds (18:11)

And I didn't realize that there is a whole brand of harassment that goes beyond. This is all from a place of privilege, right? Like there's a brand of harassment that is reserved specifically for getting desired results that you are not able to get legally as a landlord. Meaning if you have a tenant and you say, want to collect their security deposit and actually have them nut around for the whole of the lease that you signed with them because the market has changed and interest rates are lower and people want to buy these units that they're renting out, but you don't want to wait a full year, nine months or whatever. In order to wait to put it on the market, you need out sooner than later. And so what can you do? There's any number of things you can do, and there's any number of things that landlords do frequently. And I didn't realize that what was happening to me was something that was frequent until I was able to talk with past tenants of the place that I live now. I was able to find people from past lawsuits against these landlords and find what their experiences were. And then I also had the luxury of talking with. With people in the neighborhood and hearing the history that goes back literally decades.

Taj Easton (19:29)

Oh my God.

Ryan Reynolds (19:30)

And here's what I've worked out, I think is the thing. You get someone in to your place and either you want them out because you want to put the place back in the market, or you want to scare them off before the lease is officially over so that you can then collect security deposit. Plus some, you make their lives difficult.

Taj Easton (19:50)

Right.

Ryan Reynolds (19:51)

And no one asked me any questions about my job. No one found out that I was an entertainment manager and that I read contracts all day long. And so they did not realize that I am the worst person to pull this on. And I have a disproportionate sense of justice and injustice.

Taj Easton (20:06)

Right, right, right, right.

Ryan Reynolds (20:07)

They didn't realize that. And then. But I think the past prior tenants, maybe three to four, going back I think four to five years, are all people who we would consider vulnerable. They are English as a second language. They don't fully have citizenship and order. They are teachers. And so they don't have time to deal with stuff. So when they don't have time to deal with this stuff because of the nature of sort of their livelihoods or they worry that if they fight against something, they're going to face some larger legal implication or whatever. They split. And then when they split, it looks like a violation of the lease and you are in a bad, of course. And so what happened was I got an email from the landlords that was a forward from their condo association. It was one of those emails where they'd been back and forth and they forwarded it to you to give you an update on information. And they were basically like, the condo association let us know that there's a $100 move in fee for you. We tried to fight it, but they're not dealing with it. You have to pay $100 and I don't care about $100. At the end of the day, I'm okay. I know that would be a make or break situation for many people.

Taj Easton (21:21)

Right, right. And you do care about injustice and.

Ryan Reynolds (21:25)

I do care about injustice. I saw in the back and forth that they immediately went straight to threatening their condo association with legal action from their, quote, family law firm. And immediately I knew, because there's this thing, you know, when you do business commercially, business of any sort of service stuff, that any legal fight is only worth one's interest in enforcing it financially, meaning whatever. If you have a fight over $100, but to just retain a lawyer, it's going to cost $250. You don't bring the law in, you know.

Taj Easton (21:55)

Right.

Ryan Reynolds (21:55)

And so I was like, oh, these people are unwell. So they sent it to me and they were like, just heads up, we're trying to deal with this. But just in case this will be something you have to do with. I never responded to the emails. And then finally they're like, you're responsible. I pushed back gently and said, I read the lease and it doesn't say anything about condo association fees. If you want to charge that and if you want to include that in the future, I'm happy to do that. But we have to rewrite the lease. And here are some things that I would change about the lease terrifyingly in like an hour.

Taj Easton (22:34)

In an hour?

Ryan Reynolds (22:35)

Yes, like in an hour. Just tell us if you're going to pay this or not. If not, we're going to get our family law firm involved. And again, I'm like, I know that there's no family law firm, but I said, no, we're not going to do it. And then it becomes clear after sort of more back and forth that they say something to the effect of we don't want to even hear from you until your lease is over. It Was just a strange series of things. And so sensing that things are getting weird and realizing that this is outside of kind of like my comfort zone and interest, not interest. But I don't inherently know about tenancy and tenant laws. I read 190 pages on a plane. Fortunately, I started getting these emails when I was flying to the east coast and I read all of the law about tenants tenancy in California and I responded accordingly. And I said, first of all, what we're seeing immediately with your. The way that you're engaging this is that you're coming at it in bad faith and with malicious intent. And I sort of. I was able to sort of illustrate stuff.

Taj Easton (23:38)

Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (23:38)

And it's strange because there's two of them and I think only one of them communicates, but using two different email addresses as if they're different people. It's a very strange sort of dynamic.

Taj Easton (23:49)

Interesting.

Ryan Reynolds (23:50)

Long story short, I'm like, I'm not going to do it. Here's why. And then finally, it's just so heightened and strange back and forth that I say, I think maybe it would make sense. Could we just restart? I'm not going to pay the money, but it seems like we should just restart. So we're coming at a good place.

Taj Easton (24:06)

Sure.

Ryan Reynolds (24:07)

You know, and I hear these things like, you used to be such a nice guy. And I'm not saying anything negative. I'm just like pointing at the law.

Taj Easton (24:15)

Right.

Ryan Reynolds (24:15)

And then I see this thing and again, like, my job has been in. I'm a business manager for other folks and for my own business for a long time. And so I know a lot about what people will say versus what is really going on in situations like this. And they volunteer this piece of information that's like in 25. Something along the lines of, in 25 years, we've never lost a legal fight against one of our tenants. And so I see this in the, like, I was like, okay, it's weird that they're volunteering a case history. You know what I mean? And it's weird that there's a unanimous case or sort of an overwhelming victory series of victories for them. And it's weird there are so many legal cases. Right.

Taj Easton (24:59)

That's what caught my attention. That sounds a bit racket. Ish.

Ryan Reynolds (25:03)

Totally. And so I do immediately what follows my 190 pages of research.

Taj Easton (25:08)

Damn.

Ryan Reynolds (25:09)

This is a fight I'm fighting on my behalf in a moderately new mood. This is a thing I would do for other people at any time. But I'm not inherently great at doing it on my own behalf. And so I just immediately, I was like a different. I was like, I'm gonna fight this thing.

Taj Easton (25:26)

You're advocating for yourself.

Ryan Reynolds (25:27)

Yeah, I'm gonna advocate for myself. So I was like, oh, great. So there's a. What this means is there's a legal history, and all of this is public record. And so I pull every case I'm able to find. And it turns out I can't even believe you would say that you won 100% of the time. A song could just Google your history. It just is wild to me. Although, in order to get access to public records, sometimes you need to spend like $30 or something. And I understand that that's not the go to for many people. And so I did and saw that this is not true. Not only is it not true, they've changed their name on a number of times. Like, the different name entities have fought different legal cases, and none of this is true. And now I'm able to get in touch with past tenants and see what their history is. So anyway, like I said, I was on the. On a plane to the east coast when we were having this email back and forth. Didn't hear anything after I said, let's start over, right? And I get home a handful of days later, and there's a letter that comes from the quote, our family's law firm, long story short, it says, they want you out. Yeah, will you leave? And strangely, the, like, the vibe of the letter is catty. Like, it's like, not a letter I could imagine a lawyer sending.

Taj Easton (26:39)

Right? Little too much personality in it.

Ryan Reynolds (26:42)

Yeah, totally. It's on legal letterhead. And so it says also not to respond, or it suggests to not respond to the landlords. It suggests to respond to the lawyer exclusively. And I do. I respond to the lawyer, and I CC the landlords. And again, this is a physical letter. And now it looks like we're in physical letter territory.

Taj Easton (27:01)

Okay?

Ryan Reynolds (27:02)

So I respond to them all, and I say, I'll leave if you pay me this amount of money to buy me out of my contract. But if you don't do that, I'm not going to it. And also, the clauses you pulled from the lease are not clauses that are actually in the lease. But be serious. So I send that email to the law firm. I get a week later, another letter, this one longer, more personality than before. I send them the reply and say, look, I said what I said. I'm not going anywhere. Based on the substance of this entire exchange, I'd be surprised if Any of this is real, essentially. And I get a message from the law firm that says, essentially, like, please don't contact us anymore about this case. We don't have these people on retainer. These are not our clients. What? And so I don't know what the actual action is, but what has happened is I've been contacted on legal letterhead on my landlord's behalf, and the law firm says that these are not actually their clients because I got in touch with them. And again, it's so sloppy that I think that every step of the way, these are things where past tenants have gotten the thing, and they're like, I got something on legal letterhead. I'm out.

Taj Easton (28:19)

Right? They just caved.

Ryan Reynolds (28:20)

Yeah. So the next week, I get something, certified mail. I get a sign for it, and it's called a notice to quit. If you get a notice to quit and you qualify for receiving a notice to quit, you have three days to leave your place. You're getting evicted.

Taj Easton (28:34)

Oh, shit.

Ryan Reynolds (28:35)

And it has signatures and stuff on it. And it has a signature of not just my landlords, but this guy named Matt, who they referred to once in the prior exchanges. They say, you might hear from Matt, who's one of our trustees. And I respond, I don't know what a trustee is. My contract is with you. I'm not going to listen to any of the trustees, whatever this means. And we just blew by it. And I expect to never hear from this guy again. So I see this thing is signed by my landlords, is signed by Matt, who is the lawyer in this situation.

Taj Easton (29:04)

Okay?

Ryan Reynolds (29:05)

I do the research. I'm like, something's not right. No one approved this. And I look up a legal notice to quit, and it's a real thing, but it's only a real thing if you have a lease that is not fixed term, meaning you have a month to month lease.

Taj Easton (29:18)

Okay? Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (29:19)

If you have a month to month lease, and I say, look, hey, your lease is up at the end of December, but you don't leave at the end of December, I send you a notice to quit. Quit. You have to leave. It's legal.

Taj Easton (29:28)

Right?

Ryan Reynolds (29:28)

If you are my prior tenants, who are two Russian immigrants, and you get the notice to quit, and you don't know much about the American legal system, you're out.

Taj Easton (29:36)

You're out. Yeah. You're leaving.

Ryan Reynolds (29:38)

The reason I know they're Russian, by the way, is one month before all of this started, I. I shocked myself so badly on an outlet here that I blacked out for a second. What it Was under sort of a new cabinet install. And I sent them a quick email. I was like, I am not bringing this up for any reason other than I just want you to know that this happened. Like, let's figure out how to fix it, whatever. And their immediate response was, it must have been the Russians before you that put that in. I'm like. I'm like, your tenants just, like, installed it. That doesn't make any sense, really. Okay, this is wild. So anyway, I get the notice to quit. I emailed them, and I'm like, I'm not going anywhere. Oh, it feels terrible to feel, like, not well or not settled in your home. And that's a thing I don't think that I realized I was dealing with through a lot of this is. I'm like, I can't. I had a professional organizer here right when I moved in to get the place exactly how I wanted. Was the first time I ever sort of made that kind of spend on something because I was like, I knew that this is, like, a place and that I really want to settle into and be able to work in and all that. It was great and it felt great. And then now it just kind of feels like purgatory. But I also am like, I'm not gonna let him win. That's never gonna happen. And this is all, like, within a month.

Taj Easton (30:54)

Damn.

Ryan Reynolds (30:55)

It's just back and forth, weird sort of weird stuff. And they're just throwing everything that they can at the situation. And finally I get a gloves off. We've done everything that's worked in the past, and we're gonna try this other thing, okay? And Matt, the trustee or whatever sends me a message all in caps. And it's. It's like all in red. But some letters are black for reasons I can't quite understand. It says about how I'm harassing the family. The two landlords are married.

Taj Easton (31:27)

Okay?

Ryan Reynolds (31:28)

I'm harassing their family and blah, blah. And if I don't put an end to my. And again, my harassment is responding to letters that say, this is not legal. If I don't end it, there are Armenian gangs in my building that can take care of it.

Taj Easton (31:42)

Get the fuck out of here, Matt.

Ryan Reynolds (31:48)

So obviously I'm like, well, all right. Whoa. Let's look up Matt in the state bar. There is no Matt. Oh, Matt doesn't exist.

Taj Easton (31:57)

What?

Ryan Reynolds (31:58)

Matt is not a person. And by the way, every email I'm getting from a new different person. There are four different ones, all follow the same convention, which is. What is it called? An honorific.

Taj Easton (32:11)

Ooh, I don't know what it is.

Ryan Reynolds (32:12)

It's an honorific and a name@yahoo.com, an honorific being like doctor.

Taj Easton (32:16)

Right, right, right. Okay, got it.

Ryan Reynolds (32:17)

And Matt's is Mattesquire@yahoo.doc. and they all have their name +an honorificahoo.com and I was like, this is all the same dude.

Taj Easton (32:27)

That sounds like one guy.

Ryan Reynolds (32:30)

This is all the same guy sending me stuff. I'm generally allergic to the police.

Taj Easton (32:37)

Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (32:38)

But as I understand it, that if you want to pursue something legally in court and something happens where you are threatened, you need a police report.

Taj Easton (32:45)

Okay, sure.

Ryan Reynolds (32:47)

So I go to the Glendale police, and I learned this fascinating thing, which is terrifying.

Taj Easton (32:53)

Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (32:54)

And I was like, I have this death threat. And they're like, well, it lacks specifics.

Taj Easton (33:01)

No.

Ryan Reynolds (33:01)

If it said the Armenian gangs were going to get you at nine, we have something. If it said, you know that they're going to shoot you, then we got it. And I was like. So was your take that, like, the read could be that the Armenian gangs might mediate the situation? Like, what do you think we're saying?

Taj Easton (33:19)

They might take care of you. They might bring you groceries and make you. Not soup.

Ryan Reynolds (33:26)

Exactly. And so I finally just. I reply to them all and I say, you know, surely you disavow this violence from a person who I'm not even entirely sure is a real person. I didn't say that, but that is clear. I don't believe that this person's a real person. Surely you disavow. And finally I get a message from. Strangely, the man the entire time is saying that he is not technically my landlord. His wife is my landlord, so all my business should be with her. But she doesn't respond to anything. And also, by the way, I think all these emails are coming from the same person. It's a very strange dance. And finally, he responds to me and says. And he copies and pastes Internet harassment language. This is like a real Darvo situation. He copies and pastes stalking information. He says, you are harassing me. I demand you stop communicating with me. And since then, I have not heard from my landlords at all. I initially was like, all right, that's fine. Right? Whatever.

Taj Easton (34:28)

Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (34:28)

I'm pursuing it legally for harassment.

Taj Easton (34:31)

Okay.

Ryan Reynolds (34:32)

Because that's the only way that you're able when this inevitably goes to them going, you violated clauses and you owe us X amount of money in your security deposit. That's how they get you is like, if you don't counter Pursue it and show that actually it was you who did all this. You kind of need to go through this process. But initially I was like, well, I'm just going to let it go until we get to that point and then I'll fight it when that time comes up. But then my fucking sink shit the bed and I don't have a sink, and they won't respond to any messages about it. And so now I gotta bring him to court before Christmas.

Taj Easton (35:02)

Oh, my God. Before Christmas.

Ryan Reynolds (35:06)

Yeah. Yeah. I think timing wise, that's where it's gonna land.

Taj Easton (35:09)

Oh, my God.

Ryan Reynolds (35:10)

It's gonna be that or immediately after the new year. But you file your harassment paperwork and the court gets in touch with a date and they say you gotta show up by this date. And that's when it happens. It's usually like two. The wild thing, too, is like, you got to. I don't know if you're familiar with the whole process of going to court, but, like, you have to serve them papers. You have to, like, you have to get somebody to bring them legal paperwork to say you're getting sued.

Taj Easton (35:36)

Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (35:37)

In order for them to show up, which is its own sort of weird cup of tea. I think that they thought I talked a guy out of using a knife. Like, you're going to send me an email that's vaguely threatening gang harassment from a man that doesn't exist. Wake up.

Taj Easton (35:57)

Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (36:01)

Wait. This is wild. But I think, truly the reason why this story sticks out so vividly to me or is something that I've seen a couple of times. I've seen Carolyn, my partner, be like, what are you working through with this? With this?

Taj Easton (36:17)

Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (36:18)

And I realized that it's like I don't advocate for myself.

Taj Easton (36:22)

Right.

Ryan Reynolds (36:22)

I found ways that the sum of my actions will advocate for me, but I won't necessarily advocate on my own behalf.

Taj Easton (36:29)

Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (36:30)

And I think that this is the first time that I am advocating fully on my own behalf. I mean, I've obviously done stuff that has been advantageous for me, but I haven't gone like, you know what? No.

Taj Easton (36:42)

Right.

Ryan Reynolds (36:43)

No.

Taj Easton (36:44)

And you're going out of your way. You're going across the street, metaphorically speaking, you're walking out of your way to do it.

Ryan Reynolds (36:51)

Totally. Totally. Yeah. And if I am being honest, I didn't get to advocating for myself, honestly. Meaning the first couple months, I was like, other people have dealt with this and I am going to fight it on their behalf.

Taj Easton (37:07)

Well, that's what I didn't want to push back on your read because It's a huge celebration for me if this is you advocating for yourself. But I had that same thought. I wonder if would you have been so disturbed if were not for the people that they have already done this before. Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (37:23)

I don't know myself as a full entity all the time.

Taj Easton (37:25)

Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (37:26)

And so I got angry on their behalf and then I in recognizing that anger really, to be honest, this conversation is where I'm realizing I'm advocating on my behalf. We'll be right back. This is a message from sponsor Intuit. TurboTax Taxes was getting frustrated by your forms. Now Taxes is uploading your forms with a Snap and a TurboTax expert will do your taxes for you. One who's backed by the latest tech which cross checks millions of data points for absolute accuracy. All of which makes it easy for you to get the most money back guaranteed. Get an expert now@turbotax.com only available with TurboTax Live full service. Seek guaranteed details@turbotax.com guarantees. Add a little curiosity into your routine with TED Talks Daily, the podcast that brings you a new TED Talk every weekday. In less than 15 minutes a day, you'll go beyond the headlines and learn about the big ideas shaping your future. Coming up, how AI will change the way we communicate, how to be a better leader and more. Listen to TED Talks daily wherever you get your podcast. So good, so good, so good. New markdowns up to 70% off are.

Taj Easton (38:43)

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Ryan Reynolds (38:48)

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Taj Easton (39:18)

Plus guidance for DIYers too.

Ryan Reynolds (39:20)

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Taj Easton (39:54)

Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (39:55)

And I love him.

Taj Easton (39:56)

Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (39:57)

And he's a. Not maliciously. Just. He's a mess. And I sometimes am. Have been very curt to him and a little harsh about my criticism of who and how he is.

Taj Easton (40:14)

Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (40:15)

And I remember a mutual friend of ours saw me doing it and was like, you need to take it easy on him. And I was like, he needs this. And I remember hearing myself say that. I remember believing it. I actually kind of still believe it a little bit.

Taj Easton (40:28)

Okay. Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (40:28)

But I remember later being harsh to him again. And I realized while I was doing it that I was like, I love you. And I mean this. I am doing this because I love you, and I mean this. But I am talking to myself totally. I am criticizing myself at 30.

Taj Easton (40:49)

Right.

Ryan Reynolds (40:49)

Because I was a fucking mess. And I see it in you, and I love you. And I might even love you now more than I loved that guy then. And so I will engage this through you, but it was only in the prolonged engagement that I realized it was about me.

Taj Easton (41:09)

It's about you. It's kind of always about us. The thinking about the true crime folks you were talking about at the beginning, it's like, oh, they're working something out. Oh, I'm actively working something out.

Ryan Reynolds (41:21)

Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't. I don't. I, For a very long time, I think, was just like a black box, even to myself.

Taj Easton (41:29)

Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (41:30)

And so I didn't even know what he needed.

Taj Easton (41:32)

Right.

Ryan Reynolds (41:34)

I didn't know he needed advocacy. I didn't know. I mean, it's only moderately reasonable recently that I engaged any of the work of imagining yourself as a child and seeing what that kid needs. And there's a strong chance that you still need that and you're not different from that person. You both live within each other, et cetera.

Taj Easton (41:55)

Fucking A, right.

Ryan Reynolds (41:56)

Yeah. And had I not done that work, I don't know that I'd be having this realization now.

Taj Easton (42:02)

Right.

Ryan Reynolds (42:03)

But, yeah, it's almost always about you somehow.

Taj Easton (42:06)

Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (42:07)

And it's a. It's a gift these days to have enough perspective and patience and time and work done to be able to look at the situations I myself am engaged in and go, what's this about?

Taj Easton (42:24)

Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (42:25)

So, yeah, that's my. It's an unfinished story because I don't know how it's going to land. But regardless of what the outcome is, I'm going to fight it. And that's the most important thing.

Taj Easton (42:35)

It is. It is, man. And I think all the really important stories in my Life are still unfinished and curious to see where they go.

Ryan Reynolds (42:47)

The only other thing I'm going to say is, like, I did, you know, there have been a number of moments in my life where had I had a little bit more of a solid foot to stand on back when I was in college, I would have realized that, like, I could have done well as a lawyer, maybe. And there are times that I will occasionally remember that and I'll go, oh, shit, do I have to become a lawyer? And I felt that immediately as I was like, how do I do this work on other people's behalf? People don't know this. I talk to more and more people about this now. People will get in touch and they'll be like, I have a friend who's having landlord struggles. Can you help give some insights? Or whatever. But I did have a moment where I was like, oh, God, do I need to go to law school so I can actually engage this stuff case by case? Oh, my God, crack skulls or whatever. And someone or several people that I know who are also podcasters who have audiences were like, you could just make a show about it, give people the resources they need in an entertaining way. And it's a much faster and quicker process than one case at a time. So maybe do that. And I was like, yeah, I'll do that.

Taj Easton (43:49)

Wow, that is a cool idea. So was that first and foremost what was on your head when you said all this was informing next year and what that you're going to be working on?

Ryan Reynolds (44:00)

Yeah, for sure. I do know that I want to make a miniseries, and I'm working with folks now to figure out kind of what that's going to look like and who it's for, network or distribution wise. But I do know that I need to make a mini series about this to sort of give people the background they need if they're facing this sort of thing themselves. Because again, in realizing how regularly this happens, I was like. And then seeing how little resources there are, unless you have a case that a law firm thinks they could make 100 grand on, it's either like, join a union, which is great, and I'm in full favor, but often their actions are very specific to kind of like larger form action or file a lawsuit of a specific sort that'll make a law firm a bunch of money, or there are ways that you as a person, while maybe doing one or both of those other things, can fight back yourself. So I wanted to be able to deliver that in an entertaining way. Also. I want it to be fun and not just like a DIY legal course.

Taj Easton (44:58)

Well, shit, man. The way I see it, you're touching on something that is very huge and scary and disturbing to me. This massive imbalance of power between landlords and renters.

Ryan Reynolds (45:14)

Yeah.

Taj Easton (45:15)

Sounds like really meaningful work to me.

Ryan Reynolds (45:18)

One of the things that I have noticed. I know we've all noticed it in whatever way, is that the trend year by year, is by making people believe that they have no power, people fight little. And by fighting little, the people who possess power year by year take more.

Taj Easton (45:39)

Right. Emboldened.

Ryan Reynolds (45:41)

Yeah. And it doesn't take, like, big, bold actions by one person here and there. It takes everyone to do a little bit more more and realize that they are empowered to do a little bit more in order to reverse that trend.

Taj Easton (45:54)

Well, that sounds like a job for a podcast to me.

Ryan Reynolds (45:58)

You know, podcasts can do some good stuff sometimes.

Taj Easton (46:02)

Oh, fucking A, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm biased, but I was not being facetious. I really.

Ryan Reynolds (46:07)

Yeah, yeah. No, it's true. It's true. I mean, I think. Yeah. I love what y'all do to. And for me, I'm so interested in shame, and I'm interested in what we're motivated by and what we're motivated against and what we're incentivized to do and what we're incentivized against. And I think what you. Y'all do in that show in particular, and risk, is to make shame less scary. And that's liberating.

Taj Easton (46:32)

Hell, yeah, it is.

Ryan Reynolds (46:33)

Because according to our good friend Wilhelm Reich, mass fascist psychology is rooted in the shame. Around repression.

Taj Easton (46:42)

Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (46:42)

And largely around our relationship with sex and pleasure.

Taj Easton (46:45)

Oh, yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (46:46)

And so I think that, like all these shows, that my favorite shows are entertaining first and foremost.

Taj Easton (46:52)

Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (46:53)

But underneath what they're doing is they are readjusting our relationships with bad patterns.

Taj Easton (46:59)

Oh, yeah, man.

Ryan Reynolds (47:00)

Or patterns that are not serving us.

Taj Easton (47:02)

Yeah. Patterns that are not serving us. Yeah, man. I hope so. I hope that you and I are making some tiny little cultural impacts that make a difference. I mean, I can say for myself that that's absolutely the case with youh are Good. And, I mean, that's a podcast about movies or a feelings podcast about movies, as you say. But, you know, I. I tuned in because I thought this is gonna be something light and easy enough. But it turns out that it has helped me to get in touch with myself and open my heart and expand my mind in significant ways.

Ryan Reynolds (47:45)

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think we knew early on that if we said what we were Trying what changes we were trying to affect with the show up front. People wouldn't do it.

Taj Easton (47:54)

Right.

Ryan Reynolds (47:55)

Because earlier we were talking about complicated relationships with fathers.

Taj Easton (47:58)

Yeah, yeah, I remember.

Ryan Reynolds (47:59)

And like, you know, if you have a complicated relationship with your father.

Taj Easton (48:01)

Exactly.

Ryan Reynolds (48:02)

You're not looking for entertainment that hashes that out. But if we said, it's about movies, then along the way, we'll talk about the themes people showed up. And then when people were in touch and they said, I want to listen, but my relationship with my dad is too complicated, we were like, well, how do we broaden it so we can bring more people to the table? And so that's why we came up with. You are good. But I. Such a. Whatever. But it's not for me to assess whether or not we're doing anything. But I do love when we hear from people, which is pretty regularly, who are like, you helped with this thing that I didn't know I need help with. And that's a beautiful way to spend my time.

Taj Easton (48:40)

That's what I'm here to do right now. That's what I'm here to tell you, Alex.

Ryan Reynolds (48:43)

And here we are. Thank you so much.

Taj Easton (48:44)

Y'all did something.

Ryan Reynolds (48:49)

I appreciate it.

Taj Easton (48:50)

Can I ask a quick question about where your story came out and.

Ryan Reynolds (48:54)

Yeah, for sure.

Taj Easton (48:55)

You said, like, this is kind of a poignant example of you advocating for yourself, standing up for yourself in a way that you had typically kind of reserved for other people.

Ryan Reynolds (49:06)

Yeah.

Taj Easton (49:07)

How's that feel?

Ryan Reynolds (49:09)

I don't know yet. I'm proud of myself, but it's only here right now. I'm pointing at my head.

Taj Easton (49:15)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (49:16)

I'm only proud logically. And I have great difficulty. Various therapists like to let me know. I have great difficulty sometimes letting something leak from my head into my heart that's familiar.

Taj Easton (49:34)

Yeah. As a boy, I was taught to close my heart off, so I put a lot of credit on difficulty in assimilating things into my heart and my body. On that.

Ryan Reynolds (49:45)

Yeah, that's exactly right. A question I don't always know how to answer because I'm new to listening to myself in the ways that I need to is, how do you feel?

Taj Easton (49:56)

Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds (49:57)

And I can. I will often give a very heady explanation about how I feel. And it has only recently been pointed out to me that sometimes the answer I give is not actually how I.

Taj Easton (50:08)

Feel, it's what you think.

Ryan Reynolds (50:10)

Yeah. And you know my partner, Carolyn, who is across the board a hero to me in many ways in illustrating how to be good ways, how to Be. I feel like some of the strengths of our relationship have come from the things that we've learned from each other. But she, over the past year, plus, has been very good at stopping pretty often. And it's an actual physical stop. And if you're like, hey, what do you want to do tonight? Or, what are you feeling for food? Or any. Any sort of question that requires a response, she will fully stop and she'll, like, always put her hands together and she'll go into herself to see what her feelings are and what her needs are and report back. And it's not always, like, immediate. You know, sometimes it's like a little bit because she needs to actually identify and she needs to quiet the things that feel like responses but are not responses and actually look for the right responses. And that's the thing I'm, you know, among the many projects ahead. That's a thing I'm going to try to get better at.

Taj Easton (51:19)

All right. Another one for 2025.

Ryan Reynolds (51:22)

It'll be a big year for many things.

Taj Easton (51:25)

Yo, I like the sound of that, too. And I need that kind of training to actually know what the fuck do I even feel?

Ryan Reynolds (51:35)

Yeah. Yeah. It's wild when you realize that a lot of the things that you think you feel. It sounds invalidating, and I don't mean it to, but a lot of the things that you think you feel are not. They're like reflexes or they're responses or their rationalizations. And those have served me also, but not holistically, not across the board. And I said this the other day. I said this. I think I did say this to Carolyn or. No, I said my favorite game. Did I say it to my partner or a therapist? I said it to my therapist. Is that I realized that I grew up in a house that was so emotionally volatile. It was all feelings forward or yelling or both. And when you're a kid or you're younger and trying to sort through how I wanted to be, in a lot of ways, I just adopted the opposite. I was like, I want the opposite of how I grew up. And that's not necessarily necessarily a fully fleshed approach. It's just the opposite.

Taj Easton (52:41)

Right.

Ryan Reynolds (52:41)

You know, and so I adopted all of that as an operating ideology and thought that because it was oppositional to my bad, that it was good and. No, it was limited in scope in the same way the other one was.

Taj Easton (52:55)

Right. And you're giving. You're just still giving away all your power to whatever you're defining yourself in opposition to.

Ryan Reynolds (53:01)

Right? Yeah. Yes, precisely. So I think also what I'm trying to be better with is broadening the scope of response outside of just the ones that I thought were good because they were opposite of the bad ones. I knew about that.

Taj Easton (53:15)

Sounds like it'd take a couple years too.

Ryan Reynolds (53:19)

It's gonna be a journey, obviously. It has been for a while.

Taj Easton (53:22)

It's gonna be a journey, man.

Ryan Reynolds (53:23)

Yeah.

Taj Easton (53:24)

Well, I'm personally curious to hear how you land on the whole how advocating for yourself feels. Yeah, man. I mean, it sounds like you've got a lot of love and compassion for other people and wanting to take care of them, and I hope you extend yourself the same courtesy.

Ryan Reynolds (53:43)

I'm on the beginning of that road, and I appreciate those well wishes.

Taj Easton (53:46)

Hell, yeah. Alex, I appreciate you taking all the time to talk to me today.

Ryan Reynolds (53:51)

Thanks for having me. I love it. I'm able to see myself in a way I didn't an hour ago, so I appreciate that.

Taj Easton (53:56)

Fucking A, man. There you go. Now you can say, did I say that to Carolyn or my therapist? Or Taj.

Ryan Reynolds (54:03)

Yeah, or Taj. That's exactly right. Yeah. That's so funny. Yeah. I'm often like, when did I say this? Because I talk to so many. I talk so deeply to so few people.

Taj Easton (54:15)

Well, dude, having anyone to talk deeply to, that's a beautiful thing, and I want it for more people.

Ryan Reynolds (54:21)

It really is.

Taj Easton (54:29)

All right, people, thanks for listening. That's pretty much it. Alex Steed, again is the host of you are Good, along with Sarah Marshall. It's a spectacular show. They refer to it as a feelings podcast about movies, which I think is a very beautiful descriptor. It's kind of of funny, but it's also spot on because these people's main interest is in talking about what it's like to be a human being, what it's like to have emotions and feelings and. Yeah, they have a very sort of feelings and human centric lens in looking at how movies kind of help describe and decipher and revel in all of the strange, chaotic nuance of being a person. You can find Alex online at alexsteed on x Instagram TikTok. Alex is also the host of the OC Again, an OC Rewatch podcast, and that's with co host Nico Stratus. This show is a delight. Nico is so charming. Alex is so charming. If you like listening to two people be sweet and charming, then this one should be right up your alley. Alex also is the owner of the record label and zine making company, the High A Culture. O C C U L T U R E. Definitely check that out. Definitely recommend Alex's podcasts. You are Good and the OC Again, he's got fantastic co hosts. You're gonna have a lot of thoughtful, insightful conversations and discussions in your ear about being a human being, because that's. It's complicated, you know? This week on Patreon, we are featuring a very awesome conversation between Carolyn Kendrick and myself. Carolyn Kendrick works with Alex Steed on the youe Are Good podcast. She's, like, lead producer. She's totally fantastic. You would have heard her on the show a couple of weeks ago talking about Fiddle Camp. This conversation on Patreon is totally different. It's about Carolyn's relationship to hair and a couple of events in her life where hair took on a certain significance that it didn't have for her before. This is a really cool, insightful, and sweet conversation. So here's a little bit of what that sounds like.

Ryan Reynolds (56:57)

One of the most poignant and terrifying and meaningful moments of my life was I must have been 15. My mom got diagnosed with cancer, and she asked me if I would shave her head. I held a lot of sadness when we were doing it, but it was one of those situations where, like, I can still, like, it feels so tangible in my muscle memory of, like, what her hair felt like, like, what the buzzers sound like. It was just. It's just, like, so in my core memory.

Taj Easton (57:30)

All right, you can get the full story on Patreon.com look us up there. If you can become a patron and throw us a little money every month, it makes a huge difference. We are kind of always on the precipice of collapse and failure, and then we would go away forever, and that would be so sad. So if you have extra money, even if you have just a little extra, and you think maybe that you could help us out because you appreciate this show and you don't want it to disappear forever, that would be so much appreciated. And remember, today's the day. Take a risk.

Ryan Reynolds (58:15)

It.