The Best of Drug Stories #3: Another 420 Edition

Summary

Podcast Summary: RISK! Episode - The Best of Drug Stories #3: Another 420 Edition

Release Date: April 17, 2025
Host: Kevin Allison
Title: The Best of Drug Stories #3: Another 420 Edition
Description: Delving into the wild side of true storytelling, this episode features jaw-dropping and heartfelt narratives centered around experiences with drugs, particularly marijuana. Hosted by Kevin Allison, "RISK!" presents personal tales that are both hilarious and heart-wrenching, offering listeners a genuine glimpse into the lives of the storytellers.

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1. Introduction to the Episode

Kevin Allison opens the episode by welcoming listeners to a special compilation of the best drug-related stories previously shared on the show. This 420 Edition focuses primarily on tales revolving around marijuana, promising a mix of humor, vulnerability, and raw honesty.

"This week it's the Best of drug stories number three, another 420 edition. In other words, stories about weed."
— Kevin Allison [03:37]

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2. Hamda's Story: "The Hulk"

Hamda, formerly the co-host of "Keith and the Girl," shares a vivid recount of her first experiences with marijuana, blending humor with self-reflection.

Key Points:

• Upbringing and Fear: Raised in a traditional Middle Eastern household, Hamda was subjected to strict rules and fear-based warnings against drug use. Commercials from her childhood painted exaggerated negative consequences of marijuana, instilling a deep-seated fear.

  "I really thought that if I smoked some pot, I'd be on some street somewhere, I'd be homeless... my brain would turn into an egg and just fry on the street."
  — Hamda [04:00]

• Initial Resistance and Accidental Exposure: Despite her fears, Hamda experimented with alcohol and minimal marijuana use at age 21. Her repeated refusals to partake led friends to push marijuana her way, culminating in an intense first high experience with her roommate, Evan.

  "The more you tell people you don't do it, the more it pours your way."
  — Hamda [05:00]

• The First High: Under Evan's enthusiastic guidance, Hamda struggles with using a bong, leading to a comical yet terrifying high. Her attempts to maintain composure result in her acting out the Hulk, which embarrasses both herself and Evan.

  "Am I gonna vomit? What's happening?"
  — Hamda [06:30]

• Consequences and Reflection: The following day, labeled "shameless" by Evan, Hamda decides marijuana isn't for her. However, years later, she rekindles her relationship with the drug under different circumstances, leading to unexpected love and engagement.

  "Lauren goes, I love you so much. That was the hottest moment in my life. We are engaged to be married."
  — Hamda [11:30]

Notable Quotes:

• "I thought that we were having a lot of fun, but my roommate... called me shameless the next day."
  — Hamda [07:00]

• "So I ripped it all the way open. And I was like, this is so cool, but I've never seen a heterosexual male be so not interested in boobies."
  — Hamda [08:30]

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3. Matt Higgins' Improvised Song: "Blue Balls"

Matt Higgins presents an improvised musical piece inspired by Bob Dylan's creative process. The segment highlights the spontaneity and camaraderie among the band members as they navigate the creation of a playful, drunken-sounding New Orleans-style marching band song.

Key Points:

• Creative Process: Matt reminisces about how Bob Dylan crafted "Blue Balls," describing the humorous and chaotic environment during its inception.

  "Dylan told his band to prepare a sort of drunken sounding New Orleans style marching band in a parade kind of sound."
  — Kevin Allison [16:40]

• Performance Dynamics: The band members' reactions to the new lyrics, filled with laughter and improvisation, underscore the fun and unpredictability of live storytelling through music.

  "The reason there's so much laughing and hooting and hollering from the band is that they're hearing the lyrics for the first time."
  — Kevin Allison [16:50]

• Song Highlights: The playful exchange between Ryan Reynolds, Kaley Cuoco, and Tommy Morrissey adds a layer of humor, emphasizing the lighthearted nature of the improvised song.

  "Blue balls just dropped their biggest buzz balls. Ugh."
  — Ryan Reynolds [13:01]

Notable Quotes:

• "Are you crazy, and walk away... just drop. Get blue balls this season with buzz balls responsibly."
  — Ryan Reynolds & Co. [13:09]

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4. Will Clegg's Story: "Yeah, it's weed"

Will Clegg delivers a poignant and intense narrative about his tumultuous relationship with marijuana during his adolescence, capturing the struggles of identity, peer pressure, and family dynamics.

Key Points:

• Early Exposure and Family Dynamics: At 14, Will faces confrontation with his parents over marijuana, unaware that the suspicious substance is actually his own concoction of spices used to mask real weed intended for sale.

  "It's your dad and I that would be in trouble, not you. I've been sitting here just like taking my lumps, but I can't keep my mouth shut any longer."
  — Will Clegg [17:59]

• Bullying and Identity Crisis: Transitioning from a "goody two shoes" kid to someone trying to fit in by associating with bullies, Will undergoes significant personal changes, including experimenting with drugs to gain acceptance.

  "After seventh grade, I decided the best way for me to avoid getting bullied is to start hanging out with the bullies."
  — Will Clegg [21:00]

• Drug Dealing and Fear: Will's attempt to sell fake weed leads to a harrowing encounter where he is threatened with a gun, highlighting the dangers of teenage drug dealing and the fear it instills.

  "I feel like I'm back on that fucking bus. I know I'm not that scrawny little kid anymore, but I've also just put myself into way more danger by pretending to be somebody who I'm not."
  — Will Clegg [27:30]

• Escalation and Consequences: The encounter leaves Will traumatized, questioning his decisions and struggling with feelings of isolation and fear, ultimately leading him to reflect on his identity and the need for genuine friendships.

  "Maybe then I'll find some real friends, people that I can confide in. People that maybe will protect each other."
  — Will Clegg [28:30]

Notable Quotes:

• "Do you know, do you have any idea how much trouble we would be in if the police came here and they raided our house?"
  — Will Clegg [18:30]

• "I didn't want to get caught smoking it. I don't want to get caught having it."
  — Will Clegg [20:15]

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5. Tommy Morrissey's Story: "Gypsy Cab Weed"

Tommy Morrissey narrates a darkly humorous and tense experience involving a gypsy cab ride that unexpectedly intertwines with marijuana, blending everyday life with the unpredictability of drug encounters.

Key Points:

• Hectic Morning: Tommy describes a rushed morning where he needs to get his daughter to school and resorts to hailing a gypsy cab, setting the stage for an unforeseen encounter.

  "We were super late, so I lagged down a gypsy cab."
  — Tommy Morrissey [28:50]

• Discovery of Weed: After dropping his daughter off, Tommy spots a bag of weed left in the back of the cab, reigniting a past habit he had abandoned for eight years.

  "I do that from time to time. I don't ever leave stuff. My wife did today, but that's beside the point."
  — Tommy Morrissey [29:30]

• Conflict with Wife: Upon informing his wife about the found weed, Tommy faces a heated exchange about the dangers of contaminated marijuana, highlighting the strains that substance abuse can place on relationships.

  "She said, people do that, you know, they poison weed and they leave it in the back of Gypsy. And I said, no let ohms."
  — Tommy Morrissey [38:00]

• Inner Struggle and Resolution: Torn between the temptation of old habits and the responsibilities of parenthood, Tommy grapples with his actions and contemplates the significance of his past ("the wee days") versus his present.

  "It's not just a bag of green sticky weed. It's a bag of green sticky you. That's a thing I think I really want back."
  — Tommy Morrissey [39:20]

• Humorous Twist: The narrative concludes with Tommy's playful yet conflicted musings about smoking weed again, infused with his signature humor.

  "But before I... I want to tell you something. I made a New Year's resolution that this year I would start smoking weed again."
  — Tommy Morrissey [40:30]

Notable Quotes:

• "I looked in the back of a gypsy cab. And sitting there, right where I was sitting, was a sweet, sweet bag of weed."
  — Tommy Morrissey [29:00]

• "I thought, what am I really gonna throw away? It's not just a bag of green sticky weed. It's a bag of green sticky you."
  — Tommy Morrissey [39:20]

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6. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Kevin Allison wraps up the episode by encouraging listeners to share their own drug-related stories and promoting upcoming opportunities for engagement with the "RISK!" community.

"If you've got a story about any kinds of drugs, whether it's a funny story, scary, tragic, spiritual, whatever it is, pitch it to us at risk-show.com submissions."
— Kevin Allison [41:50]

He also highlights his storytelling workshops and personal hangouts, inviting listeners to take the plunge and share their own risks.

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Key Insights and Themes

• Fear vs. Curiosity: Many stories highlight the initial fear of drug use, often stemming from strict upbringing or misinformation, and the subsequent curiosity that leads to experimentation.

• Peer Pressure and Acceptance: The narratives underscore the powerful influence of peers in shaping one's decisions regarding drug use, whether through direct pressure or the desire to fit in.

• Consequences and Self-Reflection: Each story delves into the personal consequences of drug use, ranging from embarrassing moments to life-altering decisions, prompting deep self-reflection.

• Humor Amidst Struggles: Despite the serious subject matter, humor is a recurring element, providing relief and relatability to the listeners as storytellers navigate their challenges.

• Search for Identity: A common thread is the quest for self-identity and the lengths individuals go to find acceptance and understanding within their social circles.

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Notable Quotes Recap

• "The more you tell people you don't do it, the more it pours your way."
  — Hamda [05:00]

• "Am I gonna vomit? What's happening?"
  — Hamda [06:30]

• "I thought, this is so cool, but I've never seen a heterosexual male be so not interested in boobies."
  — Hamda [08:30]

• "Why would you think that? I touched it. It was a gun."
  — Will Clegg [27:00]

• "It's not just a bag of green sticky weed. It's a bag of green sticky you."
  — Tommy Morrissey [39:20]

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"RISK!" continues to provide a platform for authentic and daring storytelling, allowing individuals to share their unfiltered experiences with drugs. This episode, rich in diverse perspectives, offers a compelling blend of laughter, fear, and heartfelt moments, encapsulating the essence of what makes "RISK!" a standout in the storytelling podcast landscape.

Transcript

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[Kevin Allison]

Hey folks, this is Risk, the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share. I'm Kevin Allison and every Thursday we release these special episodes where we look back at content from the earlier years of the podcast. This week it's the Best of drug stories number three, another 420 edition. In other words, stories about weed. In a little bit we're going to hear from Matt Higgins and Will Clegg. But first, a story from Hamda, formerly the co host of the legendary podcast Keith and the Girl. Now she teaches what she calls the OMAT program, which you can learn more [e-mail] here's Hemda now at a Risk live show in New York in 2014 with a story we call the Hulk.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Hi.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Thank you. So much. Fun to be here. I, I don't know if you could tell by my name. I'm from the Middle east and I was raised with very traditional Middle Eastern family. It's very sexist, very tight. And one of the things that they like to do is instead of explaining some things to you so that you won't do the wrong thing, they just scare the ever living shit out of you and then kind of guilt you into not doing it. And it worked for a lot of things, including drugs. I really thought that if I smoked some pot, I'd be on some street somewhere, I'd be homeless. I don't know. I believed also the commercials around that time. I was around 10 or so. I believe the commercials where my brain would turn into an egg and just fry on the street. I thought that I would melt into a couch and never be able to talk to a dog again. I just so frightened. And I didn't drink, I didn't smoke, I didn't try it really. I took a couple sips, maybe I pretended I was drunk a couple times just for funsies because I was bored. So I was 21 and I did, I tried it a little bit, but as some of you might know who may have tasted the marijuana, it doesn't really take the first couple times. So still at 21, I still wasn't doing anything. But it's interesting, the more you tell people you don't do it, you're not interested in it. It's just not your thing. The more it pours your way. So I got shots bought for me. I got marijuana pasta. I'm still calling it marijuana. I'm so not cool. So I'm having all this stuff. If you ever, ever want a shot or want any kind of drug, just say you're completely opposed to it and it'll just fly your way. So at 25 years old, I decided to try this again. I had a roommate moving in, and he was the biggest pothead skater. Tattoos, awesome. And this is what made me feel safe to try it for the first time. The second night that he was there. He's so enthusiastic. I'm going to get you high for the first time. It's going to be amazing. And I thought, it won't take anyway, let's try it. I think my brain is fully developed now. I've cooked a couple of eggs. We're good. So he takes out a bong. And I don't know what the hell to do with a bong. Even to this. Yes, to this day, if I'm going to try that, somebody has to hold the little thingy and then tell me how high to go. And then, you know, what a pothead in the front, you really know. So that's what he did. He held the little thing for me, told me to inhale, told me to hold it. Told me. But it was this big, you know, sort of like I was running a marathon. He was very enthusiastic about it. Hold it. Go, go, go, go, go, go. Five seconds later, I'm not high. So I try it again. Yes, you are right to murmur. So I tried it again, and I tried it again, and I tried it again, and I never held my breath for so long, ever in my life. And I was like, see? It doesn't.

[Tommy Morrissey]

Whoa.

[Kaley Cuoco]

And I feel it like, you know in a video game where you sort of power up. Like, I feel. Yeah, I feel the high coming from, I don't know, my vagina somewhere. I feel it coming up and I'm like, fuck, I'm getting high. And I'm freaking out. I'm just like, holy shit, this is it. It's coming. I could feel it. It's like, I don't know. Am I gonna vomit? What's happening? And as I'm panicking, I've watched enough TV and enough movies that you can give yourself a bad high. And so I try to calm myself down. I'm just like, we're cool. Don't give yourself a bad high. I'm just sort of breathing. And then I fall into that haze. And then I made a complete fool of myself. I thought that we were having a lot of fun, but my roommate, we'll call him Evan, because that's his name. My roommate Evan, the next day called me shameless, which I did not know that's what was happening the night before. But here's what happens. You guys make your own decisions. I decided that Evan was on TV because that's what my brain was doing. But in order for me to really see the program, I have to be right here on him. And so I would go right up on him and I said, you're on tv. No, seriously. No, it's amazing. And I think I told him a story about what he's doing on tv, blah, blah, blah. And he just. I didn't know at the time again, but he was just like, get out of my face. So I decided, you know, the movie was over and something else needs to happen. I was wearing a wife beater at the time, no bra. And I was the Hulk. Thank you. And so I ripped the. It's amazing. Have you ever tried to do that? It's amazing that I accomplished this task all the way. I ripped it all the way open. And I was like, this is so cool, but I've never seen a heterosexual male be so not interested in boobies. And I said, but that's not what I was going for anyway. I was going the Hulk. And I had the shirt off. At this point I'm like, this is magical. I don't think you understand. Watch this now. Again, I don't know if you know this. If you rip the back half, picture this. Now the holes that were meant for your sleeves. Uh huh. Are now holes that you put over your head. And you have a cape. And not just one cape, there are two sleeves. Evan had to wear a cape. Also, we're superheroes. We're high. This is what you wanted. So we are in capes. And he is so fed up. There's a formula in his head that he thinks will work. And it did. What he did was he put on the movie half baked. And I'm like, I will finally get it. So excited. And then what a. I'm so mad at him to this day. This is. He put a Costco size party mix, potato chip, cheese doodle, pretzel. You know the kind you do. So he put it. He put it right in front of me and I took the first bite and I was like, how did I ever underestimate Doritos My life. And I just. I was eating like, did you know about this? Oh my God. Just like making all the noises because it's the only way it could taste even better. This was wonderful. Ten minutes later, I'm passed out. I'm sure he's happy again. He called me shameless the next day. And I decided maybe weed wasn't for me. I thought we were having a nice time. And it turns out I. I'm an asshole the whole time, so I never let anyone pass the joint to me. Never happens again. Cut to about five years ago, I start dating a pothead. Pothead's name is Lauren. Hi, Lauren. And so Lauren says, we should smoke. And I said, I've been here before. You don't want any of it. I was called shameless. Here's the story. You don't want it, believe me. Lauren goes, yeah, I think we'll be okay. All right, you asked for it. We're going for it again. Everybody, capes to be made. Let's take it out. So I smoked some weed, and I like seltzer. And there was a seltzer bottle, and I blew the shit out of it. I licked. I was thorough. If you ever see bubbles in a seltzer, you will remember me. Now just open the seltzer and know that I did that. So the next day, I said, I'm really sorry. I know what you want to say. The word is shameless. Here it is. And Lauren goes, I love you so much. That was the hottest moment in my life. We are engaged to be married. I've never been more happy. And I smoke pot every night now, but it's just to go to sleep. Thank you, guys.

[Ryan Reynolds]

We'll be right back. Pro baller Lonzo ball for buzzballs. Ready to go. Cocktails take 12.

[Kevin Allison]

Buzzballs just dropped their biggest blue balls.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Script says Biggie's blue balls. Lonzo take 13. Blue balls just dropped their biggest buzz balls. Ugh. Let's try a vocal exercise. Buz. Biggies. Blue balls. Buzz balls. Biggies.

[Tommy Morrissey]

Blue balls. Big balls.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Just drop. Get blue balls this season with buzz balls responsibly.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Buzz balls.

[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Tommy Morrissey]

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Carrollton, Texas hello, everyone. I am Em Schultz.

[Kaley Cuoco]

And I'm Christine Schiefer. And we are the host of the Scariest Podcast. It's called.

[Ryan Reynolds]

And that's why we drink.

[Kaley Cuoco]

I handle all of the paranormal, and.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Christine handles everything that's real and scary. Hopefully there's a little something for everybody on our podcast. But in case you like just wanting.

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To listen to us, you can read.

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Books that we have written. We wrote two whole books. Our newest book is a haunted road atlas.

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Next stop. And if that's not enough, we're also on tour.

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Yes.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Okay. If you like what you hear, you can also see us live. We are currently touring the nation with some scripted live shows of actual ghost hunts that we have done and we.

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Like to go across the world and.

[Kaley Cuoco]

Recount them to you with video evidence. Very dramatic. Anyway, find us on your favorite podcast listening platform. Wherever you listen to podcasts, you can find tickets to our live shows at. And that's why we drink.com live and you can see any of the troubling things we're doing on Instagram and Facebook, et cetera at WWDPodcast. Did you know that parents rank financial literacy as the number one most difficult life skill to teach? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app for families. With Greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly, set up chores automate allowance, and keep an eye on your kids spending with real time notifications. Kids learn to earn, save and spend wisely and parents can rest easy knowing their kids are learning about money. With guardrails in place, try Greenlight Risk free [e-mail] Spotify this episode is brought to you by Shopify. Upgrade your business with Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet. Shop pay boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning fewer carts going abandoned and more sales going cha ching. So if you're into growing your business, get a commerce platform that's ready to sell wherever your customers are. Visit shopify.com to upgrade your selling today.

[Tommy Morrissey]

We're back. Well they'll stone you when you're trying to be so good they'll stone you just like they said they would they'll stone you when you're trying to go home Then they'll stone you when you're there all alone But I would not feel so all alone Everybody must get stoned well they'll stone you when you're walking on the street they'll stone you when you're trying to keep your seat they'll stone you when you're walking on the floor they'll stone you when you're walking through the door But I would not feel so all alone Everybody must.

[Kevin Allison]

Get stoned this is Risk. This is Bob Dylan behind me now. So for this song, Dylan told his band to prepare a sort of drunken sounding New Orleans style marching band in a parade kind of sound. Then he went to the bathroom while they were putting that together and he wrote some lyrics down on toilet paper in a toilet stall and came back with this string of paper. Told him to start the song. The reason there's so much laughing and hooting and hollering from the band is that they're hearing the lyrics for the first time. And in a little bit, we're gonna hear an even more improvised song. It's Matt Higgins at a Risk live show in New York in 2010. A story told in song, more or less made up on the spot. But before that, a story from Will Clegg, who you can find Will Clegg underscore on Instagram. And here he is now with a story we call yeah, it's weed.

[Ryan Reynolds]

I'm 14 years old, and I'm sitting in my childhood home on the couch across from my parents. It's just after dinner, and they've just sent my little brother and my little sister straight up to their rooms because we have to have a talk. So I know I'm in trouble, right? I don't know what kind of trouble just yet. I've been getting in a lot of trouble these last couple of years. So they're sitting there, furrowed brows across from me, and my dad reaches into his pocket, and he pulls out a little plastic baggie filled with green leaves. And he holds it up and he says, your mother and I found this in your sock drawer. And it's either spices for spaghetti sauce or marijuana. He's trying to, you know, bring some levity to this moment, I guess, but what I can't tell him is that it actually is spices for spaghetti sauce. In that bag, he's holding a bag of oregano and parsley that I have made into a fake bag of weed so I can sell and then get money for real weed. I can't tell them this, right? I don't want them to know that I'm like, an upstart fake drug dealer. So I just have to, like, you know, sheepishly be like, yeah, it's, you know, it's weed. And my dad, who's a physician, launches into this tirade about the dangers of smoking marijuana and what it does to your brain. And I am just checked out. You know, I've heard all this before. Like, I've done the scared straight stuff at school. We had a whole quarter in health class about how dangerous pot is. But I know it's not dangerous. I mean, I've been smoking it for a year. You know, I'm an old pro at this point. And so when he's done, it's my mom's turn now. She's been sitting there just quietly furious. And as soon as she gets the chance, she says, do you know do you have any idea how much trouble we would be in if the police came here and they raided our house and they found this? It's your dad and I that would be in trouble, not you. I've been sitting here just like taking my lumps, but I can't keep my mouth shut any longer. I'm just like, why are the police raiding our house? Unless you and dad are involved in some kind of like, tax evasion scheme, that's never gonna happen, you know? And I should have kept my mouth shut because I think I was on the path to like a two or a three week grounding. But now it's become six. Six weeks grounding. So as I'm stomping up the stairs to my bedroom to begin my sentence, I know why my parents are so upset. I am not the teenager that they expected to have. When I was a little kid, I was a real classic goody two shoes. I was very nerdy. I got straight A's in school, I went to church every Sunday. I played all the sports. I just. I did everything that my parents told me to do. But then when I got to seventh grade and a new school, everything changed. I started getting bullied for being the good, good kid. And mostly that would happen on the school bus on the way home from school. All the seventh graders had to sit at the front of the bus, and then the 8th and 9th graders were in the back. And then as soon as we left the school grounds, they would rush up to the front and they would force us to participate in what they called wedgie wars. This is where two seventh graders are pitted against each other and you have to try to give the other one a wedgie. You know, yank the others underwear up as high as you possibly can, basically until it rips. And we would just sit there hoping that we weren't the one picked. But I was often the one picked because I was a scrawny little kid at that point and I usually lost. So I would get home and get off the bus and crying, my ass is bleeding and my underwear is ripped and I have to go home and rush straight upstairs so I didn't have to tell anybody what happened. And this happened all throughout the year. And there was more at school as well, and. And I didn't want that to keep happening. So after seventh grade, I decided the best way for me to avoid getting bullied is to start hanging out with the bullies. So this is gonna require complete personality change. So I grow my hair long and I petition my parents to Get a drum set so I can join a band. I start smoking cigarettes and then experimenting with alcohol and marijuana, of course. And before I know it, I gotta sell fake weed in order to get money to buy real wheat, because real weed's expensive even in 1994, you know? And I wasn't very good at selling the fake wheat, to be honest. It didn't occur to me that you don't get a lot of repeat customers. You know, they figure it out pretty quick. So I don't know, maybe it was a good thing that I got busted before this startup got off the ground. And as I'm lying there on my bed, just thinking about how I got to this place, I remember I actually do have some real weed left still in my good hiding place. It's in the bass drum of my drum kit, wrapped up in a blanket. My parents will never look there until two years later. And so I decided I got to get rid of this last joint that I have. I don't want to get caught smoking it. I don't want to get caught having it. So the next day at school, I talk to one of my friends, Mary, and I tell her what's happened, and I say, I want to get rid of this joint. And she agrees to buy it from me for $5. A lot of money. And so she lives right around the corner. It's very convenient. And that night, my parents are going out and leaving me home to babysit my brother and sister. So we concoct a plan. And as soon as it gets dark, I sit my brother and sister down in front of the tv. We're not allowed to watch TV on weeknights, so they're just mesmerized. And they don't even hear me slip out the back door. And I walk down the street, and it's. You know, this is a suburban area of Charlotte, North Carolina. Manicured lawns, there's no street lights. This is not a kind of place where you expect a teenage drug deal to be going down, necessarily. But there's this house down the street that was under construction, but then they just never finished it. And that's where we get into trouble. So we agreed to meet there. And I'm waiting there nervously for them to show up, and I see Mary and Jen come walking down the street, and they're with two people who I don't know, though Jen I know from school, and these other guys I don't know. And they come up and they introduce themselves, and their names are Sammy and. And Chris, and they Go to a different school. That's why I don't know them. And they look a lot like the bozos that I'm hanging out with at my school now. Like, they have the huge baggy jeans, you know, and white undershirts as T shirts and gold chains. And they seem nice enough. We know a lot of people in common. Whatever. I just want to get down to business, you know? So I. I give Mary the joint. She gives me the $5, and I'm ready to go home. But then she asks, can you keep lookout while we smoke this? I'm like, all right, fine. Just be quick, you know? So Mary and Jen, they walk back behind the house to smoke the joint. But Sammy and Chris, they don't do drugs. They're straight edge. So they stay to hang out with me and keep watch. And we're talking about bands we like and girls that we think are cute. And then we get to that awkward moment of silence. We don't really have anything else to say because we don't know each other at all. And then Sammy says, hey, man, can I borrow some money? A strange request, you know, to a 14 year old, right? Like, I don't have a job anymore, and all I have, you know, is this $5 in my pocket. And I'm like, you know, I'm sorry, man, I don't have any money. I'm never gonna see these guys again. Like, why would I lend the money, you know? And then. And then, just then, Chris comes up behind me and he jams something into the small of my back. The next thing I do is one of the dumbest things I've ever done in, like, a lifetime of questionable decisions. My hand is right by this thing in my back, and I just reach out with a finger and I gently touch it, and I feel the cold metal barrel of a gun. And I freeze. And he just whispers to me, hey, man, just be cool. Just give him the money, okay? And I reach in my pocket and I grab this crumpled up $5bill and I hand it over and I say, you don't even have to pay me back. And then Mary and Jen, they start walking up from behind the house, and I'm shaking like a leaf now, you know? And then Chris backs off, and the both of them are like, all right, then, just be cool. Nothing happened, all right? Be cool, be cool. They start, like, slapping me five. Like we're friends again. We're not friends, you know? But, like, Mary and Jen, they're so high, they can't tell that I'M so terrified and so dark and. And we all just say goodbye and I watch them walk down the street. And as soon as they're out of sight, I sprint all the way back to my parents house and I rush in the back door and I go to the living room and my brother and my sister, they're still just sitting there on the floor watching the tv. They have no idea that I've even left. Like nothing has happened. But like, something has definitely happened. I'm terrified still. I mean, like, what if that guy just pulled the trigger? Like, even if it was by accident, you know, I don't have anybody to talk to about this. I mean, my siblings, they're kids, you know, and it's too late to call any of my new friends from school. And like, also they're not gonna be okay with this. They're gonna like, call me a pussy or something, you know, it's gonna be a sign of weakness. So I'm not gonna tell my parents. I mean, they're right now, right? Like, I can't tell them anything about any of this. So I just have to sit with it by myself all night. And I barely sleep. The next day at school, I see Mary in the hallway and, you know, I grab her, I pull her aside and I'm like, hey, you know your friends, like, they, they robbed me. Like, they put a gun in my back. Like, what the fuck was that? You know? And she just starts laughing and she's like, they don't have a gun. Like, why would you. I mean, why would you think that? I'm like, I touched it. It was a gun. Like, who are you hanging out with? And then she just cackles like even louder and says, you're crazy, and just walks away. And I'm standing there in the hallway just feeling like, alone, angry and afraid. And I feel like I'm back on that fucking bus. I know I'm not that scrawny little kid anymore, but I've also just put myself into way more danger by pretending to be somebody who I'm not. I don't really know who I am yet at 14, you know, but I know now that I got to start figuring it out. Maybe then I'll find some real friends, people that I can confide in. People that maybe will protect each other. Thanks.

[Tommy Morrissey]

It was a beautiful for spring morning. I was taking my daughter to school. We were super late, so I lagged down a gypsy cab. I flagged down a gypsy cab. We got into the gypsy cab, I strapped my baby in the seat. We drove down Broadway And I said, L1 animal goddess. That's him. Washington Heights. That's in Washington Heights. We passed Keenum's pub. It's closed now. Cops shut it down. Cause they. They were dealing coke. Yeah, they were dealing coke. We got to a school, she was going to kill the G. I open the door, I put my baby on the curb I said, be safe, baby, don't run in the street. Then I turned, I looked in the back to see if I left anything. I do that from time to time. I don't ever leave stuff. My wife did today, but that's beside the point. I looked in the back. I looked in the back of a gypsy cab. And sitting there, right where I was sitting, was a sweet, sweet bag of wheat. I swing by the weed, I swear Swing, swing bag of weed. The green kind of, minty kind of red, squiggly thinner. Really? Call me. If you put your thumb on it, it would stick. Stinky green weed. Listen up. I hadn't smoked weed in, like, eight years. I had a little problem with this. A little problem? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I picked up the weed, I put it in my pocket. Wouldn't want to get in the wrong hands. Yeah. Here's the thing. When I smoke tweed, I really love dancing. Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? I think some of your might. I think that God might. I think that God might. Yeah. I used to smoke it morning, noon and night. He might morning, noon and he might at night. One time I smoked it before I went to work at a hotel restaurant in the morning, breakfast time. I said to my fellow waiters, I'm waiting on John John Kennedy. Isn't that cool? They said, it's not John John Kennedy. It's some guy who works in accounting. I looked and they were right. He had a name tag that said, I'm not Jon Jones. It's a funny name tag. Is this thing always. Guess what? I went into the school with my daughter in my hand and the bag I weighed in my pocket. I said, goodbye, baby Goodbye, baby, goodbye she left. I turned and started walking away. Look at my shadow. It'd be cool if I was high, but I'm not. I heard a voice, Mr. Higgins. I turned, it was the security guard. She said, Mr. Higgins, you gotta sign your daughter in. She was late. Oh, I thought I was busted, but I wasn't. I signed her in. I turned, I walked out of the school. The door shut behind me. I was on the steps of the school. I called My wife. I said, hey, Trace, you're not gonna believe what I found in the back of a Gypsy cap. She said, a wallet. I said, no. She said, a cell phone. I said, no, no. I said, I found a bag of weed. She said, get rid of it. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. You're talking crazy. Get rid of it, she said. I said it was free. I'm free. Bag of weed in the back. I love you. Take care. Oh, the green kind, the sticky kind. She said, get rid of it. Get rid of it. She said, throw it in the street. I said, you're crazy. That's irresponsible. I'm in front of school. She said, I'm not getting off the phone til you get rid of the weed. I said, oh yeah? Well, I hope you have an infinite number of minutes and I know you don't. Cause we have the same plan. She said, people. What? You said people poison weed. The weed could be poisoned. She said, people do that, you know, they poison weed and they leave it in the back of Gypsy. And I said, no let ohms. No little. I never seen that in the news newspaper. I never seen that on the news. I never read it on the Internet. That's a lie. Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie. Like a rose. As I turned onto Hillside Avenue.

[Kevin Allison]

The.

[Tommy Morrissey]

Same hillside that has a dumpster on it. The same dumpster that later on the weed would end up in. As I walked on Hillside Avenue, I thought to myself, what am I really gonna throw away? It's not just a bag of green sticky weed. It's a bag of green sticky you. That's a thing I think I really want back. Not the weed, but the wee days. But before I. I want to tell you something. I made a New Year's resolution that this year I would start smoking weed again. Just like many revolutions, it happens to be unfulfilled. But I forgive myself for that. Hey, if you're holding, you know what I look like, I'll be in the back. And together we can continue. You. My delay. My delay, My delay.

[Kevin Allison]

Well, that is all for the best of drug stories Number three. If you've got a story about any kinds of drugs, whether it's a funny story, scary, tragic, spiritual, whatever it is, pitch it to us at risk-show.com submissions. And there's still time to sign up for my eight week long online storytelling workshops that I'm leading this spring and summer, or to sign up for a one on one hangout with me on Zoom. Just email me at kevinrisk-show.com for more information. Folks, today's the day. Take a risk.

[Tommy Morrissey]

Oh, man, that's some heavy, man.