RISK! Podcast Episode Summary: The Best of Queer Lives #3

Episode Overview Title: The Best of Queer Lives #3
Host: Kevin Allison
Release Date: June 5, 2025
Description: In this special episode of RISK!, Kevin Allison curates and presents some of the most compelling and heartfelt stories from the queer community. Celebrating Pride Month, the episode emphasizes the importance of sharing and listening to queer experiences, fostering a sense of community and understanding.

1. Introduction by Kevin Allison (02:05 - 06:17)

Kevin Allison opens the episode by highlighting its significance as part of Pride Month celebrations. He reflects on the collaborative nature of RISK!, mentioning how listeners actively contribute to the show's content through stories, workshops, and social events. Kevin also announces upcoming online storytelling workshops and “what's yous Story” events, encouraging listeners to participate and share their narratives.

Notable Quote:

"This month it's very clear it's more important than ever right now for us queer folks to be sharing, to be heard, and to hear one another." — Kevin Allison (03:45)

2. Dan Savage: "The Stranger" (06:17 - 24:30)

Dan Savage, renowned for his Savage Love® advice column and podcast, shares a deeply personal and provocative story titled "The Stranger." The narrative delves into his experiences in Seattle three decades ago, exploring themes of sexuality, identity, and regret.

Summary of Key Points:

• Early Life and Move to Seattle: Savage recounts moving to Seattle at 27 to work at a newspaper, where his advice column gained significant popularity. To maintain anonymity due to the column's confrontational style, he began making public appearances in drag, despite his initial lack of experience.

  "I wanted to go out and do these things, but I didn't want anyone to know what I looked like because I was beating the fuck out of people in my column." — Dan Savage (09:20)

• Encounter with a Teenage Boy: Savage describes a fateful night when he meets an 18-year-old student at a personal ads event. Despite being within a decade apart, Savage reflects on the complexities of consent and power dynamics in such relationships.

  "I thought, oh, my God, he's 18. He's a teenager. And I was 27." — Dan Savage (12:05)

• Transformation and Regret: The encounter escalates as the young man participates in role-playing, leading to a sexual relationship that Savage now deeply regrets. He grapples with the shame and the lasting impact of this interaction on both their lives.

  "He is the proof that adult gay men are predators," reflecting on societal stereotypes and his personal remorse. — Dan Savage (18:50)

• Aftermath and Apology: Savage expresses a lingering desire to reconnect and apologize, recognizing the profound effect the encounter had on both individuals.

  "If he's out there, if he listens to this podcast... Let's just have a convo." — Dan Savage (23:15)

Notable Quotes:

• "When I fucked girls, I had to clamp my eyes shut and think, Keanu Reeves." — Dan Savage (11:30)
• "He is the prettiest girl I've ever made out with." — Dan Savage (13:45)

3. Marga Gomez: "Lesbian Experiences and Relationships" (24:30 - 52:35)

Marga Gomez offers an introspective monologue about her identity as a lesbian, her relationships, and the complexities of her romantic and sexual experiences. Her candid storytelling sheds light on societal perceptions, personal struggles, and the journey towards self-acceptance.

Summary of Key Points:

• Self-Identity and Sexual Orientation: Marga emphasizes her unwavering lesbian identity, addressing misconceptions and societal stereotypes about lesbian sexuality.

  "I am a lesbian. And more than that is, I'm not just any lesbian. I'm a lesbian leader." — Marga Gomez (33:10)

• Past Relationships and Heartbreak: She narrates her relationship with Hortense, highlighting the challenges of a significant age difference and the eventual dissolution of their bond. The emotional toll of the breakup leads Marga into a period of depression and self-destructive behavior.

  "I loved Hortense more than I loved anyone in my life." — Marga Gomez (39:25)

• Sexual Exploration: Marga recounts her rare experiences with men, reflecting on the conflicts between her sexual orientation and moments of curiosity or desire. She shares intimate details about her attempts at heterosexual encounters, exploring themes of consent and personal boundaries.

  "If you happen to be in a stage of your life where nothing else is happening and someone comes along... then go for it." — Marga Gomez (46:50)

• Emotional Aftermath: She discusses the lingering feelings of guilt and confusion following her interactions with men, emphasizing the importance of understanding and mutual respect in all relationships.

  "I would love nothing more than to meet him again. Not to have heterosexual intercourse with him again, but just to say..." — Marga Gomez (50:15)

Notable Quotes:

• "Blowing a guy was the farthest thing from my mind, my conscious mind." — Marga Gomez (32:20)
• "We are all saying love each other now... Let's also fuck each other." — Marga Gomez (51:45)

4. Sosei the Elemental Wizard: "Embracing His True Self" (52:35 - 62:02)

Sosei, the self-proclaimed Elemental Wizard and hip-hop spellcaster, shares his journey of embracing his homosexuality within the traditionally masculine and often unwelcoming hip-hop community. His story emphasizes the struggles of authenticity and the power of self-expression.

Summary of Key Points:

• Struggle with Identity: Sosei describes his early years in New York City's hip-hop scene, where he's one of the few openly gay performers. He grapples with the expectation to conform to hyper-masculine norms prevalent in the community.

  "The more I rapped about everything except for my homosexuality... I was hiding the most important part of myself." — Sosei (54:30)

• Performance and Vulnerability: Facing internal conflict, Sosei attempts to incorporate his sexuality into his performances. Initially subtle, his efforts to express his true self on stage are met with mixed reactions from the audience.

  "I couldn't stand having this big secret. So finally I decided I would tell people the truth and I would tell them on stage." — Sosei (56:10)

• Clash with Audience Expectations: During a pivotal performance, Sosei pushes boundaries by openly discussing his sexuality, leading to confusion and resistance from the crowd. Despite the backlash, he remains committed to his authentic self.

  "When it hit 'Sucking Dick,' that's when everything fell apart." — Sosei (59:15)

• Support and Acceptance: While some audience members react negatively, others recognize and support his courage in breaking down barriers, reflecting the evolving attitudes within the community.

  "We have different qualities which help to define who we are." — Sosei (60:05)

Notable Quotes:

• "Hip hop is all about keeping it real. So you did your thing." — Sosei (60:30)
• "I am a hope... Who we are, who we are." — Sosei (60:50)

5. Conclusion by Kevin Allison (62:02 - End)

Kevin Allison wraps up the episode by thanking the storytellers and encouraging listeners to share their own queer experiences. He reiterates the importance of visibility and open dialogue within the community, especially during Pride Month.

Notable Quote:

"Today's the day. Take a risk." — Kevin Allison (62:00)

Final Thoughts "The Best of Queer Lives #3" is a powerful compilation of stories that delve into the multifaceted experiences of the queer community. From Dan Savage's raw account of past regrets to Marga Gomez's exploration of identity and relationships, and Sosei's brave stand for authenticity in hip-hop, each narrative contributes to a broader understanding of LGBTQ+ lives. Kevin Allison masterfully curates these stories, fostering a space for honesty, reflection, and connection.

For those who haven't listened to the episode, this summary captures the essence of the conversations and the emotional journeys shared by the storytellers, emphasizing the importance of being heard and supporting one another within the queer community.