The Luckiest Trans Woman Alive

Summary

Podcast Summary: "The Luckiest Trans Woman Alive"

Podcast Information:

• Title: RISK!
• Host/Author: RISK!
• Description: If you like The Moth, This American Life, or Snap Judgment, take a walk on the wilder side with RISK! Your colorful host Kevin Allison (of the legendary comedy group The State) helms this surprisingly uncensored show where people tell jaw-dropping true stories they never thought they'd dare to share in public. RISK! is hilarious, heart-wrenching, and remarkably real. Think you've heard it all? Fasten your seatbelt.
• Episode: The Luckiest Trans Woman Alive
• Release Date: June 11, 2025

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Introduction: A Special Pride Month Story

At [02:47], Taj Easton introduces the episode as a special conversation story for Pride Month featuring his dear friend, Kate Bowl. Taj sets the stage by highlighting Kate's previous impactful stories on the show and recounts how their friendship began. He shares a heartfelt moment where Kate supported him during a difficult breakup, establishing a deep and enduring friendship over three years.

Meeting Kate Bowl and Early Struggles

The conversation unfolds with Kate reflecting on her journey towards self-discovery. At [07:46], Taj asks Kate about her recent experiences leading up to her transition. Kate begins by recounting a pivotal period last summer when she broke her leg, leading to two and a half months of recuperation on her mother's couch ([08:07]). During this time, she experienced a profound realization: "I do love Ruby, but it was more that I wanted to be her rather than be with her" ([08:51]).

Coming to Terms with Identity

Kate delves into her early memories that hinted at her true identity. She recalls telling a high school friend that she felt like "a lesbian trapped in a man's body" ([09:33]) and shares a nostalgic story from first grade about wanting to be the Wicked Witch of the West ([10:00]). These memories, resurfacing over time, played a crucial role in her self-awareness.

The Turning Point: Embracing the Community

A significant moment occurs when Kate attends a vigil for Nex Benedict, a 16-year-old non-binary individual who tragically died in 2024 ([17:12]). Inspired by Nex's bravery, Kate decides to embrace her true self publicly. At [15:22], she describes the emotional support she received from regulars at the bar "Minnie's," who welcomed her into the queer community with open arms. This sense of belonging catalyzed her decision to transition.

Facing Challenges and Receiving Support

Kate openly discusses the challenges she faced during her transition, including societal backlash. She shares incidents where she was harassed by drunken individuals, highlighting the persistent discrimination trans individuals encounter ([26:38], [27:30]). However, these negative experiences were counterbalanced by unexpected acts of kindness. For instance, a regular at the bar noticed her distress and offered unwavering support, showcasing the power of community solidarity ([28:04]).

Embracing Her True Self

Determined to live authentically, Kate describes her first day wearing a dress at work ([29:29]). Despite initial fears, she was met with love and compassion, reinforcing her decision: "I am going to be visible" ([28:52]). This moment marked a significant step towards self-acceptance and visibility.

Building a Supportive Network

Kate emphasizes the importance of her support system, including friends, family, and her new partner. She shares a touching story about her relationship with a 50-year-old trans woman who treats her with love and respect ([32:12]). Their relationship brought her immense joy and a sense of being truly seen and celebrated for who she is ([33:03], [35:03]).

Reflections on Happiness and Future

Throughout the conversation, Kate expresses profound gratitude and happiness. She reflects on how embracing her identity has transformed her life, making her feel "much happier than I've ever felt" ([31:36]). Despite ongoing challenges, such as financial instability and the need to move soon ([34:03]), the euphoria of her transition provides her with the strength to navigate these difficulties ([34:15]).

Conclusion: A Message of Love and Resilience

As the episode winds down, Taj and Kate exchange heartfelt sentiments, underscoring the transformative power of love and acceptance. Kate urges listeners to practice self-love and support the trans community, especially during challenging cultural moments. The episode concludes with a powerful affirmation of community and resilience: "I do love you. I do" ([47:33]).

Notable Quotes:

• "I'm the luckiest trans woman on the planet." — Kate Bowl [17:43]
• "Everything is shiny and new." — Kate Bowl [42:30]
• "Confidence is sexy." — Kate Bowl [38:51]
• "I am going to be visible." — Kate Bowl [28:52]
• "This is tears of joy." — Kate Bowl [18:31]
• "Pride Month, 2025. People that are listening to a story about a trans woman. I do love you." — Taj Easton [43:20]

Key Themes and Insights:

• Self-Discovery and Identity: Kate's journey underscores the importance of self-awareness and the gradual realization of one's true identity.
• Community and Support: The narratives highlight how supportive communities and compassionate individuals play a crucial role in personal transitions.
• Resilience in the Face of Adversity: Kate's experiences with harassment reveal the persistent challenges faced by trans individuals, yet her resilience showcases the strength to overcome these obstacles.
• The Power of Visibility: Embracing visibility serves as both a personal liberation and a beacon of hope for others in the LGBTQ+ community.
• Intergenerational Support: Kate's relationship with her younger sister and her partner illustrates the significance of having a strong support network across different life stages.

Conclusion:

"The Luckiest Trans Woman Alive" is a poignant and inspiring episode that delves deep into Kate Bowl's journey toward embracing her true self. Through candid storytelling, Kate shares her struggles, triumphs, and the unwavering support that has made her feel incredibly fortunate. This episode not only celebrates her personal victory but also serves as a testament to the resilience and strength within the trans community. It invites listeners to reflect, empathize, and support the ongoing fight for acceptance and equality.

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Additional Information:

• Connect with Kate Bowl: Follow her on Instagram @katebowl66 and attend her storytelling event on June 27 at the Open Source Gallery in Brooklyn.
• Upcoming Episodes: Stay tuned for "Best of Trans Lives 4" with Kevin and guest Peppermint.

Resources: The episode provides various resources for supporting trans individuals, including ways to donate, get involved in activism, and educate oneself and others about transgender issues.

Final Note: The hosts encourage listeners to share their own stories related to Pride and to practice self-love, emphasizing its power and contagious nature.

Transcript

[Taj Easton]

Hey, Lonzo Ball, it's your agent. What's up? I've got a commercial opportunity for you from Buzzball's. Ready to go. Cocktails.

[Kate Bowl]

Nice.

[Taj Easton]

My last name is Ball.

[Kate Bowl]

The product is a cocktail in a Ball. I get it.

[Taj Easton]

That's what I thought too. But no. They want you for your hands. They think your big hands will show off the size of their new blue biggies.

[Kate Bowl]

Ball Big blue balls really? Get blue balls this season with Buzz Balls. Please drink responsibly. Buzz Balls. Available in spirit wine and malt. 15% alcohol by volume. Buzzballs LLC, Carrollton, Texas. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint.

[Taj Easton]

With the price of just about everything.

[Kate Bowl]

Going up, we thought we'd bring our prices down. So to help us, we brought in a reverse auctioneer, which is apparently a thing Mint Mobile Unlimited Premium wireless.

[Taj Easton]

Everybody get 30, 30. Better get 30. Better to get 20, 20, 20. Everybody get 20, 20.

[Kate Bowl]

Everybody get 15, 15, 15, 15. Just 15 bucks a month.

[Taj Easton]

Sold.

[Kate Bowl]

Give it a [e-mail] Switch. Upfront payment of 45 dollars for a three month plan equivalent to 15 dollars per month required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of network's fizzy taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com this episode is brought to you by Greenlight.

[Taj Easton]

Get this.

[Kate Bowl]

Adults with financial literacy skills have 82%.

[Taj Easton]

More wealth than those who don't.

[Kate Bowl]

From swimming lessons to piano classes, Us parents invest in so many things to enrich our kids lives. But are we investing in their future financial success?

[Taj Easton]

With Greenlight, you can teach your kids financial literacy skills like earning, saving and investing. And this investment costs less than that. After school treat start prioritizing their financial.

[Kate Bowl]

Education and future today with a risk free [e-mail] Spotify greenlight.com Spotify this episode is brought to you by Pluto TV. Summer of cinema is here and Pluto TV is exploding with thousands of free movies. Feel the explosive action all summer long with movies like Gladiator, Beverly Hills Cop, Impossible, Ghost Protocol, Good Burger, Stealth, Four Brothers and Star Trek. Bring the action with you and stream for free on all your favorite devices. Pluto TV Stream now. Pay never. Stream now at Pluto TV Risk.

[Taj Easton]

Hey everybody. This is Risk, the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share. Hi, I'm Taj Easton and this is one of our conversation stories. A special conversation story for Pride Month between me and my dear friend Kate Bowl. Kate is a legendary Risk storyteller. She has told two stories on Risk which I would put in the absolute hall of fame. We reran both of them just a couple of months back. So you may have heard them. If you haven't, I recommend going back because they're some of the best stories on the show, in my humble opinion. When I first met Kate, I had just gone through a breakup and I was kind of fucked beyond belief, emotionally speaking. And I told a story that was not about that, but I guess it kind of came through. It was on this podcast and Kate heard it and she sent this like 10 minute message that was an act of long distance empathy from one stranger to another that blew my mind. And it kind of still blows my mind actually right now. Reflecting on was so beautiful I can't convey it, but I think you'll get some sense of the kind of person that Kate is listening to this story. So yeah, that started a friendship that has lasted these past three years. After that initial voice memo, Kate and I talked a lot on the phone and she helped me a lot because I was really up for a long time and I needed help and Kate helped. I can never repay her for that, but I can be friends with her for the rest of our lives and that's what I plan on doing. There is a moment in this story where Kate references Next Benedict and we don't talk too much about who Next Benedict was. So if you don't know the story of Next Benedict, I will just give the briefest of context in saying that. Next Benedict was a 16 year old non binary kid in Oklahoma who died in February of 2024. It was a complicated story. Their death was first reported as the result of a head injury that they suffered in a fight that was a product of transphobic bullying. But later it was revealed by autopsy that Nex's death was a suicide and there was a big whole bunch of culture war shit over it. That's a little bit about who Nex Benedict was. I'd encourage you to look up their story if you're interested to know more. Anyway, I did not intend to talk that long, but I did. I should have stopped a long time ago. I'm going to stop now. Maybe I'll cut all of this and you guys won't hear any of this. Maybe there won't even be any hosting because this was too much for me to talk before this story. But now I am going to stop talking. I'm going to be talking again in just a minute. But it's not part of the preamble, it's the actual story. So I hope that is Tolerable. If you don't like me or my voice, this is gonna suck, because I'm gonna continue to talk off and on for the next hour or so. Don't skip the podcast because it's mostly Kate. But if you find my voice so intolerable that you cannot stand even for a second to hear it, then I guess, yeah, you'd probably skip it. Here's Kate Bol now with the story we call the Luckiest Trans Woman Alive. We haven't talked in so long, and I'm just. I'm so eager to hear everything that's happened to you in the last couple years. And, I mean, especially, of course, interested in everything that's led up to this transition. And I don't know if you recall, but the last time we talked, it was just when you were sort of exploring your sexuality with transgender gals, right?

[Kate Bowl]

Yes. Yes, that's correct. Yeah, that is correct.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

And there was this woman, Ruby, who I still count as one of my doulas, my trans doulas. I was so in love with her. And then sometime over last summer, you knew I broke my leg. Did I tell you that?

[Taj Easton]

You mentioned it briefly, yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

I broke my leg behind the bar on Memorial Day of last year, badly.

[Taj Easton]

Oof.

[Kate Bowl]

Well, then I was on the couch. I was cosplaying misery for two and a half months on my mother's couch in suburbia. Now, I am grateful that I had someplace to go and someone to care for me. I'm enormously grateful for that. But to be 56 at the time and having your mother give you sponge baths and empty your urinal and bringing you food, it's a little demoralizing.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

And it was during that period. Now, here's the thing. The worst thing you can do is give someone who thinks too much too much time to think. But it was also during that period where I figured out that, yeah, I do love Ruby, but it was more that I wanted to be her rather than be with her.

[Taj Easton]

Oh, wow.

[Kate Bowl]

That was really the beginning. And then one of my friends from high school, I mean, we've known each other for decades, obviously, she came to visit me, and she reminded me that when we were 17 years old, we were on a school trip to Florida, concert choir trip.

[Taj Easton]

Okay.

[Kate Bowl]

And we were walking the beach one night, and I had said to her, I felt like a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

[Taj Easton]

Whoa. You had forgotten that you had said that.

[Kate Bowl]

Yeah, I did. And then there were other memories that started to come back. You know, there was When I was in first grade, this is 1972, 1973 in Virginia. This is real Virginia. This is not Arlington, Virginia.

[Taj Easton]

Okay.

[Kate Bowl]

You know, this is real Virginia. And my mother asked me what I wanted to be for Halloween. And I said, well, I want to be someone scary. I want to be the Wicked Witch of the West. And my mother says, do you want to be like a warlock or a wizard? And I said, no, I want to be the Wicked Witch of the West. And she handmade me a wicked witch costume.

[Taj Easton]

Oh, my God.

[Kate Bowl]

Including pinked cap. And so somewhere there is a photograph of me in full on Margaret Hamilton drag, grinning ear to ear in first grade.

[Taj Easton]

That is sweet.

[Kate Bowl]

And I would pull out that dress as long as it fit because it just felt right.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

You know, I read my mother's copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves and the Joy of sex in the 70s, too. You know, I grayed her makeup occasionally. And in my 20s, I would joke that I would make some woman a wonderful wife, but I wasn't really joking. And then both of my ex wives, my first ex wife, she lived with a woman for three years before we even got together. And we would, you know, we would go see every lesbian movie that came out. When it came out, we would listen to Melissa Etheridge and Indigo Girls. And, you know, Katie Lang, she, I'm sure, knew before I did. And the same thing with my second ex wife. I bet she knew before I did, too. Yeah. So, I mean, it's always been there. But when I was growing up and when I was in high school, for example, this is the early 80s.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

And, you know, straight, obviously we knew about gay and lesbian. We knew about if you were bisexual. You were either a coward who couldn't choose a team, or you were just greedy. And the only way we talked about trans folk was in terms of drag queens or cross dressers.

[Taj Easton]

Right, Right.

[Kate Bowl]

Which is not really about gender at all.

[Taj Easton]

No.

[Kate Bowl]

We didn't have the language.

[Taj Easton]

Right.

[Kate Bowl]

You know, it's literally the millennials and Gen Z who gave me the language to speak about myself as I am. It's a remarkable thing. It's amazing. And I'm glad I. I'm glad I found it.

[Taj Easton]

It's so amazing. It's so amazing. Cade, on the couch at your mom's, was there kind of a light bulb moment or was it a gradual coming around to realization?

[Kate Bowl]

Do you know what it was? It was a light bulb on a rheostat.

[Taj Easton]

What's a rheostat?

[Kate Bowl]

So as you turn the dial right, you know, It's a dimmer.

[Taj Easton]

Oh, okay, gotcha.

[Kate Bowl]

So it's a light bulb on a dimmer.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

So the light got, you know, it started to spark.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

But it took a while before it reached its full illumination. When I got back to the city, you know, I was still out of work for another two months. And I have a friend, a very dear friend, who I've known for 20 plus years, who runs a movie night called attack of the 50 foot movie.

[Taj Easton]

Cool.

[Kate Bowl]

At this bar that has become a place where I frequent. It's always a cult film.

[Taj Easton]

Okay, cool.

[Kate Bowl]

And he'll cut together trailers or interstitials that are associated with whatever film he's showing, and he brings in a burlesque dancer to perform in the theme of the movie.

[Taj Easton]

Fucking awesome. Jesus. So.

[Kate Bowl]

Oh, it's a great night. It's a great night. I've never been able to go because they're usually on a Tuesday night, and I work on Tuesdays. So this was, you know, walking with my cane at this point.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

I was able to go to the show for the first time. And I went early because we hadn't. Leon and I had not seen each other in a little while, and I wanted to come out to him before he had to fall into impresario mode.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

So we were able to sit at the bar and I came out to him as queer. Cause I had come out as queer in January of that year, last year.

[Taj Easton]

Okay. Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

And he was just so excited for me and so happy for me. And then his wife came in, and his wife is kind of a famous actress.

[Taj Easton]

Oh, okay.

[Kate Bowl]

Character actress. She's amazing.

[Taj Easton]

Okay, cool.

[Kate Bowl]

But the strikes were going on, so she was bartending, and she is also a sweetheart. And I came out to her as well. And they became my proud mom and papa. All night long that night, they were just introducing me to people. They were like, you know, hey, do you know Kevin? No. Well, I got to tell you. Can I tell them? They would ask me, not waiting for an answer, and come back and be like, kevin just came out as queer in January.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

And that was the beginning of me finding my queer community.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

Now here's the clincher, though. The movie he was showing that night.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

Was Paris is Burning.

[Taj Easton]

Oh, wow.

[Kate Bowl]

And I don't know if you're familiar with that at all, but it was a documentary of the trans and drag balls that went on in Harlem in the late 80s, early 90s.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

It is a seminal documentary. And that was my first time going to this bar.

[Taj Easton]

Was it Your first time seeing Paris is Burning?

[Kate Bowl]

Yes, it was.

[Taj Easton]

It was. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Kate Bowl]

And I think it took me that long because it was too close to the truth.

[Taj Easton]

Mm.

[Kate Bowl]

I think it was something that, like, subconsciously, it was too much to face.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

And yet I would, you know, flirt with the idea of facing these things. But it's a heavy documentary, too.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

It's gorgeous, though.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah. Yeah. So the dimmer switch got turned up a little more that night.

[Kate Bowl]

A little brighter.

[Taj Easton]

Exactly. A little brighter. A little brighter.

[Kate Bowl]

Exactly. You know, and I don't know specifically what the impetus for it was, but during the next, like, four months, five months, I did a lot of thinking about it because, again, I think too much. But also I wanted to consider because I have bipolar disorder, type 2.

[Taj Easton]

Right, right.

[Kate Bowl]

And there's a part of me that was afraid that this was a manic episode.

[Taj Easton]

Okay. Okay.

[Kate Bowl]

Right. And I did not want my transition sullied by anything that anyone can say, well, you know, you're in a manic phase. Right, Right. So I really considered all of that, and eventually I started slowly coming out as Kane. You know, I had my nails done for the first time by a friend at this bar. Minnie's is the bar. As I was coming out, she and a lot of other CIS women friends started bringing me makeup and teaching me about makeup.

[Taj Easton]

Oh, my God, Kit, you have such fantastic friends.

[Kate Bowl]

I really do. I am the luckiest trans woman on the planet.

[Taj Easton]

Oh, my God. God, you have such great friends.

[Kate Bowl]

The luckiest. So then I made my announcement in January on the social medias, and this is true of every step that I have taken. I am fucking terrified before I take the step, and then once I take the step, I've just met with love, compassion, and empathy. And I know how lucky. I don't take this lightly. You know, I don't take this for granted. So I came out, and obviously, I was welcomed by so many people. Friends, family, what have you.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

And my patrons at the bars that I work at.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

You know. Sorry, getting teary.

[Taj Easton]

Oh, baby, it's okay.

[Kate Bowl]

No, this is tears of joy. This is tears of joy.

[Taj Easton]

They look good on you.

[Kate Bowl]

And then in, I think it was February of this year, that poor child. Next. Benedict.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

There was a vigil at Stonewall, and I went with three friends, and I decided to wear makeup in public for the first time because I figured if that child can be brave enough, then who the fuck am I not to. We'll be right back.

[Taj Easton]

My day kicks off with a refreshing.

[Kate Bowl]

Celsius energy drink then straight to the gym.

[Taj Easton]

Pre K pickup back home to meal prep. Time for my fire station shift. One more Celsius. Gotta keep the lights on when the three alarm hits.

[Kate Bowl]

I'm ready.

[Taj Easton]

Celsius live fit. Go grab a cold refreshing Celsius at your local retailer or locate [e-mail].

[Kate Bowl]

Hey there. My name is Jody Avregan. Have you noticed the present day, it feels pretty rocky. Well, I think history can help. What's more, this little country of ours, the United States is it's turning 250 soon. So how did we get here? On this day, historians Nicole Hemmer and Kelly Carter Jackson and I sit down to look at stories from the past, silly, surprising, deeply relevant that feel like they have something to teach us about today, this day. Three times a week. You can find it wherever you're listening right now.

[Taj Easton]

This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. From streaming to shopping, prime helps you get more out of your passions. So whether you're a fan of true crime or prefer a nail biting novel from time to time, with services like Prime Video, Amazon Music and fast free delivery, prime makes it easy to get more out of whatever you're into or getting into. Visit Amazon.comprime to learn more. Hey there travelers.

[Kate Bowl]

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[Taj Easton]

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[Kate Bowl]

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[Taj Easton]

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[Kate Bowl]

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[Taj Easton]

Go to your happy price, Priceline.

[Kate Bowl]

We're back. And it was scared shitless. I was scared shitless. I was riding the subway at rush hour and I was still kind. I mean the best I managed for a long time. As a friend put it was I was a very pretty butch dyke.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah. Were you wearing a dress that night or.

[Kate Bowl]

No, no, no, no. I was still wearing masculine clothes at this point.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

But I'm wearing makeup. And I was terrified riding the subway at this hour and nothing happened, of course, and the vigil was beautiful and I felt that I honored their memory. And you know, there's slow steps for the next couple of months until June of this year where Minis, this bar that I've been talking about right along, yeah, they had their pride celebration. I think it was on the 5th of June this year.

[Taj Easton]

Okay.

[Kate Bowl]

And I was like, you know what? Fuck it. I'm gonna wear a dress for the first time. Yeah, girl, let me tell you something.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

Buying a dress is one of the most soul crushing, harrowing, difficult experiences ever.

[Taj Easton]

Oh, no.

[Kate Bowl]

Because, I mean, there's. There's no consistency in terms of sizes. I've heard this between labels.

[Taj Easton]

Okay. Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

Right. And I'm a larger woman, so it's also difficult to find things that look good on me.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

It had been. I'm getting much better at this.

[Taj Easton]

Okay.

[Kate Bowl]

And I was getting so disillusioned. I also. I'm not a wealthy person by any stretch of the imagination. And I didn't to want. Want to spend too much because, you know, my body would be and is continuing to change.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah, of course. Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

So finally, one of my friends, this amazing woman, she's about 10 years older than I am. She's like, we're gonna go thrifting together. This was brutal. It was like 100 degrees out, and I sweat like a whore in church standing still in the middle of winter. So I'm just, like, spewing sweat. And I walk over to this thrift shop, and there's a bar right next to it. And I literally had to go in for, like, two shots before I worked up the courage to go into this thrift store to meet my friend. And I get in there, and she's already got things pulled. She was like, kate, I want you to try this one on. Try this one. Try this. And it took a while. Putting on a dress when you're sweaty as fuck is not a comfortable experience. It just sticks.

[Taj Easton]

I can imagine. Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

But we ended up finding a dress that worked. It was kind of, you know, earth mama sort of. It was tie dyed. It was orange and very pretty.

[Taj Easton]

Ooh, nice.

[Kate Bowl]

And if you go to my Instagram, you can see a picture of me in the dress.

[Taj Easton]

Oh, good.

[Kate Bowl]

So on Pride day, another one of my friends, because I was nervous again. This is the first time out in a dress.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

She came, she picks me up from my apartment. We rode a taxi together. I get out of the taxi, then I have a Marilyn Monroe moment. My skirt is up over my head. I'm flashing the entire avenue with my ass hanging out. But I get in town, you know, and I'm discreet, and we go in. And again, it was an incredibly lovely experience. Everyone just loved the dress. They were so happy for me, et cetera, et cetera.

[Taj Easton]

Oh, my God.

[Kate Bowl]

It was incredible. And I got to be Marilyn Monroe for a moment.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

And then I started to slowly buy a wardrobe for myself. Things that I felt comfortable with.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

And that made me feel pretty. And I had the costume jewelry, you know, for my friends. And, you know, I started building a wardrobe.

[Taj Easton]

Fuck. Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

You know, I would have. I was wearing more femme clothing to work, but not dresses.

[Taj Easton]

Okay, okay.

[Kate Bowl]

You know, like slacks with flared, you know, almost like bell bottom sort of things. And I had these gorgeous blouses that I would wear, very floral blouses. But the night before election. The election this year.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

It was a Saturday night and I work until nine and my best girlfriend, Esmeralda, she is my big little sister. She's this stunningly beautiful trans Dominican woman who's badass.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

She started transitioning much earlier obviously, than I did. So she has sort of the institutional nose. And I bring my old lady wisdom to the relationship, so we balance each other out in that regard. But she came to meet me at work and we were hanging out and I had changed into the. Actually one of my favorite dresses that night.

[Taj Easton]

Nice.

[Kate Bowl]

And we were hanging out and then we stepped outside for a bit and some drunk, 22, 23 year old white boy came up to me and decided to me and said, who are you supposed to be?

[Taj Easton]

Oh, my God.

[Kate Bowl]

And you know, we started cursing him out.

[Taj Easton]

Okay, good.

[Kate Bowl]

And meanwhile, Esmeralda is whispering in my ear, let me off the leash, let me off the leash. And I was like, no, girlfriend, we don't need blood. In front of the bar where I work. We got this. Also, the doorman was right around the corner and he would have jumped in in a second to protect us.

[Taj Easton]

Sure, sure.

[Kate Bowl]

But he eventually gave up and left. And then later that night, I stopped in a local close to my home for an I cab and then went to the deli across the street to pick up a bite. And in the deli, the same fucking thing thing happened. Oh, another 22, 23 year old drunk white boy.

[Taj Easton]

Oh my God. Like a copy of the the first guy.

[Kate Bowl]

Yes, exactly.

[Taj Easton]

Oh, no.

[Kate Bowl]

But this time I was alone.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

And I was. I was scared.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

I went to Anger, which is not a comfortable place for me to be. And again I curse him out. And I paid for what I was going to get. And I stood outside the deli like, you know, what am I gonna do? I'm gonna beat him up. Are you kidding me? But I don't know what. I had it in my head. I was just so disturbed.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

And then this regular at the bar, Happened to come out of the bar and see me and see that I was in distress. Now he's a total bro, right? Backward cap, big beard, loud, loves his sports. Total dude.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

He sees that I'm in distress, and he comes over to me and he insists on giving me a ride home. Meanwhile, I live, like a five minute walk from the bar, but he insists.

[Taj Easton]

Oh, my God.

[Kate Bowl]

He talks me off the ledge. He plays music for me. He sits with me for, like, 20 minutes outside my apartment just to make sure that I'm okay.

[Taj Easton]

Oh, my God.

[Kate Bowl]

I mean, if that isn't a snow globe moment, I don't know what is.

[Taj Easton]

Ew.

[Kate Bowl]

And I still went upstairs and I sobbed for two hours. But to have that person looking out for me. Unexpectedly. It was after that that I decided, you know, fuck this. I'm gonna wear a dress to work tomorrow for the first time. Really? I was like, it took me 57 fucking years to get out of the closet. I'm not gonna let some little drunk prick drive me back in again. Oh, my God. I am going to be visible. And so I wore a dress to work the next day.

[Taj Easton]

Fuck, yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

And again, I was scared, but again, met with nothing but love, compassion, and empathy.

[Taj Easton]

Was these two dudes before the. The night before the election, Was that your first experience like that at all, where someone.

[Kate Bowl]

Yes.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

Yes. Yeah.

[Taj Easton]

Wow. And, dude, how fucking cool that. That. Which I was afraid you were gonna say was really discouraging and. I mean, I'm sure it was, but that. That you went the other way.

[Kate Bowl]

Oh, it did hurt. It felt like they were taking something from me because I had been feeling so confident and so brave up to that point.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

And that's what hurt is that they. They took a little something from me. So then on election night, I performed. Oh, I did a show. I was in a show that a friend of mine wrote. It was a lot of fun. It was a dark political satire. And I stole the show, of course, because I was a comic relief. And it's easy for the comic relief to steal the show.

[Taj Easton]

Okay. Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

You know, I got all Daniella Day Lewis on this character. I was a barfly sitting at the bar, and all of my lines were like non sequiturs just to relieve the tension.

[Taj Easton]

Classic.

[Kate Bowl]

It was so much fun. So much fun. But then we know how the night ended.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah, we know how the night ended. Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

And it was at that point that I decided that I am always going to wear a dress now.

[Taj Easton]

Fucking A, dude. That is so encouraging. Kate. That your response to those hurtful events was to commit. That is so beautiful to me.

[Kate Bowl]

I'm too old to hide.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

And I've become radicalized in a way, as an old lady. This is too important to me. I feel much happier than I've ever felt and I don't want anyone to take that away from me.

[Taj Easton]

Much happier than you've ever felt?

[Kate Bowl]

Truly? Truly. Wow. I met a woman that night. Night of the election. And we. We ended up going out on a date that. Turns out it wasn't a date, but we were both confused and we're still super close friends regardless.

[Taj Easton]

Okay. Okay.

[Kate Bowl]

But you know, just the fact that I felt pretty enough to attract someone.

[Taj Easton]

Fucking A right.

[Kate Bowl]

And since then, I've actually started dating someone regularly now.

[Taj Easton]

Cool.

[Kate Bowl]

There are many.

[Taj Easton]

I have no doubt.

[Kate Bowl]

She's a 50 year old trans woman. She presents androgynously, which is hot.

[Taj Easton]

Hot.

[Kate Bowl]

She showed up for the first day with flowers. She opened every door for me. She insisted on walking on the outside. She made me feel like such a lady. And. Oh, she's also a bodybuilder. She's incredibly hot.

[Taj Easton]

Oh my God. Hot.

[Kate Bowl]

This is too long a story. But she took me out for my birthday. It was such a magical day. It was perfect.

[Taj Easton]

Hmm.

[Kate Bowl]

You know, and part of the date was we ended up making out like fucking teenagers in a car. Yes. And maybe playing in other ways as well.

[Taj Easton]

Okay.

[Kate Bowl]

But the. The thing that was most important was that I felt present for the first time in play.

[Taj Easton]

Wow.

[Kate Bowl]

Seriously, Like, I wasn't in my head.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

I've always been in my head previously.

[Taj Easton]

Did you know there was something missing before that? Like, why can't I get out of my head? And this is just the way that it is. Yeah. No, it was just discovering something that you didn't even know was. Was possible? Maybe.

[Kate Bowl]

Yeah.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

It's the fact that I'm in my own skin. It was astonishing. He was so magic. This is what I mean when I say I'm the luckiest trans woman on the planet.

[Taj Easton]

Yo. It sounds like. Sounds like you have a lot of really wonderful friends.

[Kate Bowl]

I really, really do. And I'm grateful for all of them.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

I mean, it's not all easy. I'm still broke, as you know. I have to move in two months.

[Taj Easton]

Oh, really?

[Kate Bowl]

Yeah, it sucks. But I mean, there's always downsides.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

To be perfectly honest, the gender euphoria is what's keeping my head above water right now.

[Taj Easton]

Lot of challenges otherwise in other aspects. Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

Yeah. But it's okay.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah. Was it really profound the first date you went on, this woman and her treating you like a lady, like in a romantic capacity.

[Kate Bowl]

Oh, my God, it was so huge. I'm gonna stand up to you just to get a. Because I need to blow my nose after being ulterior.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah. No, do you. When I asked you just now if it was great that first night, her treating you like a lady in a romantic sense, your face went totally euphoric. Like, I could see them. Your eyes were just white as they rolled back in your head and you parted your mouth in such a way it was.

[Kate Bowl]

I'm a caretaker by nature.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

I mean, this is. I'm a caretaker.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

And I suck at asking for help, for one thing. Just as an example.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

But to have her. Her take care of me, to feel safe in her presence. I don't even know if I have words big enough. It was obviously. I'm tongue tied here.

[Taj Easton]

No. I think for me it wouldn't come across to listeners, but for me, the look on your face communicated more than any description ever could.

[Kate Bowl]

Just to be held the way that she holds me. To be the woman that I always knew, even if only subconsciously.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

To be seen.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

I mean, isn't that what we all want?

[Taj Easton]

Oh, yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

Really? In a relationship.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

Is to be seen.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah. Wow.

[Kate Bowl]

And to be celebrated for what they see.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

She's so good to me and so kind and so for someone so powerful. And she's fucking powerful.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

But she's so gentle with me. And we were. We were texting the other night and, you know, I said to her, I was like, look, you taking care of me means so much to me.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

But I want you to know that this is a two way street, that we have to take care of each other moving forward, you know?

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

And it turns out that that's a new concept for her, being taken care of.

[Taj Easton]

She's a caretaker too.

[Kate Bowl]

Precisely.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah. And for you, is it not a matter of being uncomfortable being taken care of, but just of wanting to reciprocate and feeling love in being able to give that kind of attention?

[Kate Bowl]

That's right. That's right. And I have experienced that feeling of being, you know, the discomfort with being taken care of.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

I often feel that when I'm taken care of.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

But this feels different. And again, it's a reciprocating thing.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

That's how partnerships work. Right.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

We take care of each other.

[Taj Easton]

I wonder if part of how euphoric and beyond words it feels is because you feel like you're being seen and being taken care of for you and who you really are, maybe in a way that hasn't always been there.

[Kate Bowl]

100%. 100%. That's what it is. It's breathtaking. It really is breathtaking.

[Taj Easton]

To discover all this at 57 is profoundly beautiful, Kate.

[Kate Bowl]

There are a lot of us out there, though, us late bloomers. You know, Lucy Sant comes to mind. Harper. In that documentary with Will Ferrell. The Will and Harper.

[Taj Easton]

I haven't seen it.

[Kate Bowl]

Oh, it's on Netflix. She came out at 61.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

I mean, I'm terrified of what. What the future holds.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

But I can be a complete cunt when I need to be.

[Taj Easton]

I bet. I bet. And it sounds like so far in the last year, the tear is there, and then you've been pleasantly surprised.

[Kate Bowl]

Yes, I do feel incredibly lucky. Incredibly lucky. A friend of mine who I see occasionally came into one of the bars where I work at the other day, and she had never seen me in a dress before, and she commented, the way you walked up to me was the happiest and most secure I've ever seen you.

[Taj Easton]

Oof. Oof. Most secure, too. How fucking cool is that?

[Kate Bowl]

Oh, well, that's why I'm so sexy. It's because I'm confident as fuck now.

[Taj Easton]

God damn. That's just one of the reasons, Kate.

[Kate Bowl]

You know, confidence is sexy.

[Taj Easton]

You're the sexiest.

[Kate Bowl]

Well, thank you, Taj.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

It's a journey. It's a journey. It doesn't matter when you get there, so long as you get there.

[Taj Easton]

And your mom's been wonderful too, son.

[Kate Bowl]

She's been good. I mean, she'll use my old name or she'll misgender me, but she had a boy until this year, so I don't blame her.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

You know, she doesn't judge my choice, nor does my stepfather.

[Taj Easton]

Good.

[Kate Bowl]

My baby sister, when I came out to her, first thing she says was, you know, I always wanted a big sister.

[Taj Easton]

What, darling?

[Kate Bowl]

You know, I was FaceTiming with my baby brother, and my nephew is in the background. And when kids stay up well past their bedtime and they get that weird wired. And he just wanted to stay up longer.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

So I see my nephew walking in the back room, and he's like, auntie Kate, look at this. Auntie Kate, look at this. Anything so that he can stay up later. But I was Auntie Kate.

[Taj Easton]

Just like that. They just got it.

[Kate Bowl]

Yep.

[Taj Easton]

Oh, fucking cool.

[Kate Bowl]

Yep. Well, they're babies. I mean, he's like, two and a half, so. But, yeah, I'm Auntie Kate now.

[Taj Easton]

That is sweet.

[Kate Bowl]

I loved that. I loved hearing that. And kids, they don't care.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

They're taught.

[Taj Easton]

Right. Agreed. It is not ingrained to have that kind of judgment.

[Kate Bowl]

Exactly. Auntie Kate.

[Taj Easton]

The thought struck me that, like, doing the performance, being on stage and being applauded, that seems like that might be a powerful moment. I mean, especially if you were grappling with fear about, you know, wearing the dress and whatever else. Like, did it seem like a significant moment?

[Kate Bowl]

That was a powerful thing. That was a powerful thing. I was greeted with such love, kindness, and empathy.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

They loved that character.

[Taj Easton]

Fucking A.

[Kate Bowl]

And, you know, since then, I'm like, oh, God. All the women characters that I can now play.

[Taj Easton]

Fuck, yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

You know, fucking Lady Macbeth. All of these characters that are now open.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

And it's nice to be back on stage, but it's also really nice to be me on stage.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

And then there's also, you know, the aspect of playing a character.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah, right. There's a lot there.

[Kate Bowl]

You know, I've been playing a character my whole fucking life.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah.

[Kate Bowl]

I've been a drag king my whole life, basically. And I never felt comfortable in the role. I never felt comfortable, and it always felt performative. It's so relaxing not to have to put on that role anymore, to let that go. This place I found myself in is more than I ever could have thought to hope for. Yeah.

[Taj Easton]

I bet. After 56 years thinking, like, well, I kind of understand the deal here and to discover and experience this, it's so fun.

[Kate Bowl]

Everything is shiny and new.

[Taj Easton]

I could not be happier for you.

[Kate Bowl]

Thank you so much, Taj. Thank you so much. And thank you for listening to all of my stories.

[Taj Easton]

Oh, shit. I could keep going all night, Kate. Hell, yeah. It's so cool to see you for the first time.

[Kate Bowl]

It really is good to see your face. It's exciting that. I mean, you've seen the picture of me on the website, of course, but in real life, you just know me as this.

[Taj Easton]

That's right. That's exactly what I was just thinking.

[Kate Bowl]

God, I think about that a lot with people that I meet, as they only know me as me. What a blessing such grace I've received.

[Taj Easton]

Luckiest trans woman alive.

[Kate Bowl]

Seriously. Oh, God, my makeup is running now. I'm gonna look like Robert Smith.

[Taj Easton]

What a joy that we could be meeting now. Both of us happy. How about that?

[Kate Bowl]

And from where we were to this.

[Taj Easton]

Yeah. I love you so much.

[Kate Bowl]

Oh, God, Taj. I Love you to pieces.

[Taj Easton]

All right, everybody, that's pretty much it for the show. You can find Kate bowl at katebowl66 on Instagram. Kate is going to be performing at a storytelling event on June 27 at the Open Source Gallery in Brooklyn. You can find out more about that event by following Kate on Instagram or checking out the Open Source Gallery. On Pride Month festivities continue next week. It's Best of Trans Lives 4 with Kevin and mysterious guest Peppermint. Who is gonna be cool, probably, I think. I don't really know who Peppermint is, but I am looking forward to it because I just trust this show and I trust Kevin. And I love that they're called Peppermint, and I love that they're going to be on the show talking about something gay or trans. Forward fucking Pride Month. This is an intense and kind of sad Pride Month, but that's just because I'm feeling sad. You might be feeling hopeful or, like, angry or energized or something by how fucking scary things kind of look in terms of the direction of culture and politics around trans rights. I never thought that I would feel this way again about the direction the culture was moving. I don't know. Maybe things are going to be cool. I sure hope so. But right now it's scary. So I'm glad to be here playing stories like this for people. I hope it helps. If you have any stories that relate to Pride kind of stuff, Please send them risk-show.com submissions. We'll take any story you want to send us, but I will be especially grateful and invigorated if you send us stories that might kind of bolster the cause during this cultural moment, which scares and baffles and disturbs me. We have some resources in the show. Notes about ways that you can support trans folks donating, getting involved in activism, work, just learning, educating yourself. Maybe educate someone else if you see the opportunity to do that, because there is heinous shit going on that turns my stomach and makes me want to break my head open. Thank you all so much for tuning in. Thank you, Kate Bowl. Thank you, Kevin Allison. Thank you, listeners. Thank you. Me, Yeah, I love me, too. I'm trying to practice self love. So do me a favor and tell yourself you love yourself right now because that's powerful and it's contagious, and I think it's the. It's the thing to do. All right. I love you all. Seriously. I don't think I've ever said that before on the show. Maybe I have. I'M a softie, and I say it all the time to people that I don't even know. But I do love you all, especially right now. I feel that. Pride Month, 2025. People that are listening to a story about a trans woman. I do love you. I love you. Unless you're doing some kind of, like, investigative, like, saboteur work as, like, a far right conservative. That's different. But I do love you. I do. It's more complicated, but I do. Okay. Somebody should take my microphone away. I shouldn't be left alone. I'm a. I'm a weird guy. I really am. That's why I work here. It's an honor. It really is a privilege. There's a Thursday episode tomorrow. Kevin and Peppermint next week. But that's next week. That's tomorrow. And today is the day. Take a risk.

[Kate Bowl]

It.