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- [00:00]
Kevin Allison
Hey folks, this is Risk, the show where people tell true stories they never thought they dare to share. I'm Kevin Allison and every Thursday we release these special episodes where we look back at content from our earlier years. But before we start today, listen, there's still time to email me to learn about the 8 week long online storytelling workshops that I'm going to be teaching in the spring and summer of 2020. I haven't taught one of these eight week long storytelling workshops in like a decade and then I won't be able to teach them quite so easily to fit United States time zones once I move to Thailand in the fall. So email me right away if you're interested. I'm@KevinRisk Show.com these workshops are going to be so much fun, so creative. It's a communal and a therapeutic experience. It's a way to do something that is just such a deep joy. You know, it's self expression. It's a way to get support and coaching directly from me as well as a bunch of other Risk fans who will be your fellow students. So as long as you're hearing this announcement Before August of 2025, email me for more information at kevinrisk-show.com now the episode we're about to feature is one of the all time classics that people still refer to all of the time. It first appeared in 2013 and here it is again. It's an episode we call the Same Brand of Pervert.
- [02:46]
Hello kids, this is Extra Risk, where we give you just a little bit more of the show where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share. I'm Kevin Allison and this is the time travel toaster behind me now. Well, as you probably already know, Risk has a sister company called the story studio@thestorystudio.org and we teach workshops on how to tell stories. So whenever we take risk to a different town, we teach workshops as well.
- [03:16]
And when we went to North Carolina.
- [03:18]
Just last month, we heard some fabulous stories from local folks down there, including the one we're about to hear today from a young lady named Gretchen who happens to host a kinky storytelling show in Raleigh, North Carolina. It's called Mouth of the South. Make sure you look them up on Twitter there MOTSSshow. When I heard Gretchen tell this story in our workshop down there, I thought, oh my goodness, I have to have her share this on the podcast as well. It's a doozy and we love doozies. So without further a doozy, here is Gretchen with A story we call the same brand of pervert.
- [04:27]
Gretchen
I'm not sure when it all started, but it did all start before I knew what being turned on by anything was. When other children were playing with toys, I was attracted to things like yardsticks, wooden spoons, ping pong paddles, blind adjusters, things that kids typically don't play with. I had these two dolls, and they were rag dolls, and they were a little bit smaller than me. And these poor dolls, they caught hell, I disciplined them all the time. It came to a point where I was so disgusted with their behavior that I took their clothes off of them. And I went into my mother's room and I got her red lipstick, and I drew these little red asses on the back of my rag dolls so that everyone would know how naughty they were and that they had been spanked. Occasionally my mom would chime in and say something like, stop hitting your dolls. But they would continue to misbehave. So I would have to do things like put them under the couch cushions, which was the spanking machine. So I would leave them in the spanking machine for an hour and take them back into my room, and then they would behave. And that's how pretty much how my estranged little childhood went. Corporal punishment was a regular thing in my household. One thing that I never played with the dolls was a belt. Because that's what I got used on me, was a belt. It was something that was used regularly for any kind of behavioral screw up. It was used at least weekly. In my early adult life, I did things like I went to the home improvement store and I looked at the dowel rods and I blushed. And when I got to be about 5ft away from the dowel rods, I got this feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's the same feeling that you get when you're walking away from somebody without telling them how you really feel about them and they're going away forever. So I couldn't let this happen. And I turned around and I marched back over to the box, and I pulled out a dowel rod and I swished it to make that sound that they make when you slice the air with them. And then I put it back in the box and I blushed again. And I scurried away home with my naughty little experience. At some point, I realized that these things that I was attracted to, that they weren't normal. And that if anyone found out how my mind worked, that surely I would be in a mental institution somewhere receiving a lobotomy. And I had decided to take these desires that I had to the grave with me. So all of these things lived between my brain and my heart and my pants. And they stayed there all alone pretty much until the day I got my first computer. I was 24 when I got married the first time. And I began the only long term sexual relationship that I had ever had. And I had problems being turned on by normal things like kissing. I had to go way deep into my psyche in order to be a sexual being. And the way that I did that was I imagined things like being tied up and spanked, or being caught doing something as an adult by a boss and being thrown across the boss's desk and spanked with his ruler. And that would allow me to be a sexual being. Without that, I could not even begin to want to have sex with anyone, including myself. By the time I got my first computer, he and I were getting a divorce. So I got my first computer. And while I was not able to say the word spanking out loud, I could sure type it. And there I was. I entered into the world of BDSM. I found websites that pictures and clips that were 12 seconds long that took an hour to download. And this was enough to put me in a state of euphoria because I really didn't think that there was anybody out there that thought like me. I thought I was the only one born to this planet who got a sexual charge out of grown ups being spanked. So when I found the first chat room that I was ever in, I was in awe. And I can remember sitting in front of my computer screen with my face numb just because it was sensory overload. And I actually felt like I had been beamed up in a spaceship and dropped off on my proper planet. These people knew exactly what was inside my head. It was really scary at first. And then I said, okay, well this is kind of great. I'm not the only crazy one. And then it evolved to, okay, I'm not crazy, because there are literally thousands of people on this website in this chat room that are talking about spanking and other kinky things like it's a real normal thing and it's not even dirty anymore. It's just kind of normal. So I became a regular in the chat room and I developed some friendships and I had a lot of online play. So I figured that maybe I should think about meeting somebody in real life. I was going through a divorce at the time. My husband was in another state. So I was in the newbies chat room and I was waiting on people to Sign in. And people would sign in that wouldn't be anywhere near local. And I don't know how much time passed, but eventually somebody did sign in and say, hi, I'm a dominant male from South Carolina and is there anyone here from north or South Carolina? And I jumped on that. I said, yeah, I am. I'm actually from both places. And he said, oh great. Would you like to go into private chat? And I said of course I would like to go into private chat. And these are all these things that I'm imagining in my brain because you can't really hear tone online. But, but this is how it was going on in my head. And we were having some small talk and he asked me what I was into and considering we were on a spanking chat side, I said, well, of course I'm into spanking. And he said, well, are you into anything else besides the kinky stuff? And I said, well, I do have this one fantasy of being the cruise ship whore. And I wanted to be the only female on this cruise ship full of good looking, influential men who had had their STD testing and been quarantined and then allowed on this ship to use me for their sexual pleasure. And he said, well, that's interesting that you would want all that sex. And I said, well, I don't know how it would be in real life, but in my mind it sounds great to be on a ship and be desired by all these men and just to be a little cum bucket for all these men that I don't even know their name. And he said that's pretty cool. You don't often find women with that high of a sex drive. And I said, well, you met one now. And he said, well, that's pretty cool. And I said, well, what are you into? And he said, well, I really, really like rope, really good at tying knots. And I really like the idea of suspending women in the air with different colored ropes, specifically with the rope cutting up into their crotch. And I would like to swing them around and whip them and spank them. And then when I've had my fill of that, I would like to bring them down and make love for hours. And I thought, well, hours, that's a awesome. I might not need the whole cruise ship full of men if somebody can make love for hours. And he said, and then after we have all the sex that we can stand, I would love for them to clean me up with the tongue bath. I thought, hmm, I've never done that before. But hey, this guy sounds like he's the same brand of pervert that I am. We'll be right back.
- [12:25]
Unknown
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- [12:56]
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- [13:28]
Gretchen
I'm thinking if he lives in South Carolina, it would be very, very, very feasible for us to meet. I might have to dig a little deeper into this man. He asked me what I look like and I told him that I had blond hair, blue eyes. He asked me what my bra size was. I told him my bra size and he began describing himself to me. And he told me that he was 5 foot 10 and he had dark curly hair and he had big blue eyes and he was physically fit and he was a little older than me, but had been told that he could run circles around men half his age. I really, really was excited at the prospect of meeting this man again. He sounded nice looking, he was articulate, at least on chat anyway. And he then asked me where I lived and I said, well, I live in Raleigh, North Carolina. And he said, oh, that's interesting. I've got a daughter that lives near Raleigh. And I said, well, do you ever visit her? And he said, oh no, I never visit her because she comes here because I live at the beach and of course she would come here. And I said, oh really? Well, in South Carolina. I said, I was actually born in Charleston, South Carolina. And he said, well, I'm in Myrtle Beach. And I said, oh, well, I grew up in Myrtle Beach. My dad was the manager of a campground there in Myrtle beach that's not there anymore. It was Lake Arrowhead Campground, and it's now been turned into something else. And then he didn't type anything for a few seconds, and then he typed the word interesting and then he signed off. And my heart immediately sank. And I know that I must have gone pale because I was thinking, this man knows who I am. Why would I mention specifically the name of the campground where my dad worked and he sign off like that? It wasn't abnormal for men to do that further on in a chat conversation, but for it to happen so soon kind of raised some red flags. And I thought maybe it was one of the vendors from the campground or one of my dad's friends that were also affiliated with the campground. Regardless, I was creeped out. But I left our little box up because if he signed back in, it would light up. So I went and chatted with some other friends, and the box eventually lit back up, and so I went to it and I typed in, where did you go? And he didn't answer me. Instead, he said, what is your name? And I said, well, you first. And he said, if your name is Gretchen, what in the hell are you doing on this site? So my face went numb again, and I knew at this point exactly what I was dealing with. And I had no more illusions. So I just answered, well, Dad, I guess I'm doing the same thing here that you're doing, and this is kind of weird. And he said, you need to sign off immediately. And I said, excuse me, I think maybe I was here first. And he said, you are going to get killed here. And I'm so glad that this was not video chat, because I was grinning and laughing from ear to ear. At this point, I was also horrified, but I was thinking about the fact that I knew exactly where my dad's computer was, and I was envisioning him sitting in a chair with no pants on, giving me this parental lecture about the crazy people on this kinky site that are going to kill me. Especially when I had just divulged to him that I wanted to be the cruise ship whore and that he had just told me all kinds of things about himself, including his cock size. I was flooded with any kind of emotion there was, and I was uncomfortable, and all I could do was laugh. I said, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. First of all, I am a grown woman. Second of all, dad, you are not 5'ten as if to say, what else did you fabricate? And he said, okay, I see how this is gonna go, and let me tell you this. You stay out of my way. And then he signed off, and I never saw him sign back on again because I had it on alert that if he did, I wanted to know because I could go into hiding or sign off. I really did not want to witness anything else or be a part of anything else that was thoroughly grossed out. It was my dad. Fast forward a year, maybe a year and a half. I've switched sides, and I'm no longer a subbie girl in search of somebody to capture me and use me for horrible things. I am now a dominant female, and I have a real life subbie boy who is in the United States, in Chapel Hill on a work visa, and he is about to be shipped back off to England. And I wanted to take him to Myrtle beach, to the ocean. He had never seen the ocean. He had never been to an amusement park. And, you know, I wanted him to at least experience one aspect of white trash hell before he went back to England. So we went and visited Myrtle beach, and I took him to the Pavilion and we rode a roller coaster, and it was great. And I had told him the story about meeting my dad in the chat room, which this is the same place that I also met him. So he was very familiar with the way things worked there. And we went to my dad's house, and I said, do not bring this up. Well, my little subby boy identified as a brat, and brats do things to get in trouble. They're like imps. They can't help themselves. So he met my dad, and we got all the niceties out of the way, and he looked at my dad and said, so, do you ever go into the chat room anymore? And my dad just paused and he smiled a little bit, and he looked at my little brat and said, well, what you're talking about is I just stumbled upon that chat room that day, and I'd never been there before and I've never been back since. And my little subby boy said, with all due respect, sir, you and I both know that that is not true. And my dad said, okay, so let's get this straight. We're not having this conversation in this house. I'm not going to talk about this with you, and I am not going to talk about this with you. And he pointed at me, which was fine with me, and he said, so if you bring it back up again, I'm going to ask you both to. To leave, because this is something that I'm not comfortable talking to either of you with about. So. So we. We stopped talking about it. And we had a nice time after that. He, my dad was not being a jerk. He just kind of drew a line and we, we stayed behind the line. Thank. About five years ago, my dad passed away. And my parents had been divorced for years. But my mom came down to help my brother and I clean out my dad's condo. And we came across his goody drawer. And in the goody drawer was a huge pack of mint flavored condoms. And there was some other random things in there. And I found it and I said, oh, look, Mom. And she said, oh, that's so disgusting. And I said, well, you know, dad was a little bit of a freak. And she said, I know, I know. I find it to be just disgusting. And I said, well, you know, did I ever tell you about the time that I ran across him in an adult chat room? And she said, no, you didn't tell me about it. Which totally shocked me because we didn't talk about those kind of things. And I told her a nutshell version that was rated PG 13. Then I kind of felt guilty because I was in dad's house and I had just told the story in his house and he was gone. And we had made a pact and I still wanted to honor it. And that pact was two very specific directives from my father. Number one, stay out of my way. And number two, we are not talking about this in my house. And so my mom started to divulge some information and I just threw my hand up and said, mom, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's don't talk about this. Let's don't talk about this in this house. And she said, okay, that's fine. Which was probably the only time that I ever cut my mother off about sex. She usually is the one that stifles the conversation. My dad was very misunderstood. He was known as a ladies man and he cheated on his wife and he cheated on two wives. And he, you know, I really think it's a tragedy that he didn't have the resources that kinky people have today where they can be in a relationship that it's perfectly okay to, number one, not be monogamous if you don't want to be. And number two, to act on these kinky feelings that you feel are so strange that you have to hide and be ashamed of. We're not there anymore. It's evolved into something so much bigger and more normal than it was for someone that was born in 1947. So. So I'm kind of sad for him. I do wish that he would have been able to have some of the luxuries that I've been afforded with kink going semi mainstream.
- [24:08]
Unknown
What will become of the truth when we keep it in things we don't remember when they ask us when.
- [24:31]
We.
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Did the things that we learned we.
- [24:34]
Gretchen
Shouldn'T do again.
- [24:42]
Unknown
What wasn't learned from from mistakes we will make them.
- [24:53]
Gretchen
Maybe.
- [24:54]
Unknown
This is my heart and maybe it is yours Burns away the eyes peering in our doors if I want to leave I will stand on my feet I do only takes these words you never believe are true Never gonna chase something It's a total waste running after what they take in Hundreds look what they praise not man.
- [25:40]
Kevin Allison
Well that is this week's episode. This is Wake Owl behind me now. And that was Gretchen's story. I must admit that just yesterday I was walking down 23rd street in Manhattan past a florist shop. He had a bunch of rattan and bamboo sticks for sale and I just had to grab one and kind of whoosh it through the air and make that sound. I know exactly where Gretchen is coming from.
- [26:13]
Speaking of today folks, today's the day.
- [26:17]
Take a risk.
- [26:24]
Unknown
If I want to leave I will stand on my feet I do only taste these words you never believe are true Never going to chase something it's a total waste right after what they take in hundred look at what they praise Nothing if I want to leave my will stand on my feet I do only take these words you never.
- [26:55]
Gretchen
Believe are true but my mom came down to help my brother and I clean out my dad's condo and we came across his goody drawer. And I remember opening the drawer and immediately hold on, hold on.
- [27:13]
Kevin Allison
I've got to put my cat away.
- [27:27]
Gretchen
Yes, you can see my that's my pussy to consider. There has to be accommodation for my.
- [28:03]
Unknown
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