Podcast
The Autism Mom Coach
Hosted by Lisa Candera · EN
Do you sometimes feel like your life has been hijacked by Autism?
If so, this is the podcast for you. The Autism Mom Coach is a podcast for moms who feel overwhelmed, afraid, and sometimes powerless as they raise their child with Autism. Join your host, Lisa Candera, Certified Life Coach, lawyer, and (more importantly) full-time single mom to a teenage boy with Autism as she shares cognitive-based tools and trauma-informed strategies you can use to feel better now and transform your relationship with Autism and special needs parenting. The truth is, Autism is not in charge of your life, YOU are, and you have more power than you think. Visit theautismmomcoach.com for more information
17episodes
Episodes
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Ep. 202: Sneaky Ways You May Be Escalating Your Autistic Child's Meltdowns
2w ago00:13:34Tap to summarizeAre you accidentally making your autistic child’s meltdowns worse without realizing it? In this episode of The Autism Mom Coach Podcast, Lisa Candera shares common parenting responses that can unintentionally escalate or prolong autism meltdowns.During meltdowns, parents often react from stress, urgency, and survival mode. Talking too much, making threats, changing tone, using sarcasm, or reacting emotionally can add more fuel to an already overwhelmed nervous system. Lisa breaks down the subtle ways parents contribute to escalation and shares practical shifts that support co-regulation and emotional steadiness.If you are parenting an autistic child and feel exhausted, reactive, or unsure during meltdowns, this episode provides actionable strategies you can start using immediately.In this episode, you'll learn: ✔ Why talking too much during a meltdown increases overwhelm ✔ How threats and consequences can intensify escalation ✔ Why your tone and nervous system matter more than your words ✔ How sarcasm and frustration affect autistic children ✔ The role of emotional reactions during meltdowns ✔ Practical ways to support regulation during autism meltdownsAbout Lisa Candera: Lisa Candera is founder of The Autism Mom Coach, mom to an 18-year-old son with autism, and has coached over 100 autism moms. She teaches emotional regulation, practical meltdown strategies, and support for moms navigating the realities of autism parenting.
Transcribe →Ep. 201: The Most Important Autism Meltdown Strategy
3w ago00:11:31Tap to summarizeIn this episode, Lisa Candera breaks down the single most important skill autism moms need during meltdowns: learning how to regulate themselves first.After years of trying to prevent every autism meltdowns, Lisa shares the shift that changed everything for her parenting and coaching: moving from control and prevention to preparation and co-regulation.Lisa explains the concept of the “Solid Object,” a framework that helped her navigate severe dysregulation, aggression, and self-harm during her son’s teen years.In This Episode, You’ll LearnWhy focusing only on meltdown prevention puts unrealistic pressure on autism momsHow your nervous system impacts your child during dysregulationWhat it means to become the “Solid Object” during a meltdownWhy staying perfectly calm is not the goalHow co-regulation can reduce meltdown intensity and duration over timeWhy autism moms need support focused on themselves, not just behavior strategiesThe difference between controlling behavior and influencing behavior through grounded leadershipLisa’s TakeawayFor years, I believed the answer was finding the perfect strategy to prevent every meltdown.What actually changed my life was learning how to regulate myself while my son was dysregulated.That shift helped me stop escalating situations and start parenting from a grounded place instead of fear and urgency.Links MentionedThe Autism Mom Coach Website:https://theautismmomcoach.comSchedule a Consultation with Lisa Candera:https://talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me/Free Training: Reduce Autism Meltdowns By 50% This WeekGet it here:https://linktr.ee/TheAutismMomCoach
Transcribe →Ep. 200: The #1 Meltdown Mistake You Are Making and How to Stop It
4w ago00:12:25Tap to summarizeIn episode 200 of Autism Mom Coach, Lisa Candera shares the biggest mistake many autism parents make: putting all their energy into preventing meltdowns instead of preparing for them.She explains that meltdowns are a form of nervous system dysregulation, often driven by autism-related challenges like sensory overload, communication difficulties, low frustration tolerance, impulsivity, and executive functioning struggles. Because of this, meltdowns can still happen—even when you’ve done “all the right things.”Lisa breaks down the difference between meltdowns and tantrums, emphasizing that meltdowns are not something kids can simply turn on and off.She also shares a relatable example of a child melting down over a peanut butter substitution after a day filled with unexpected changes—highlighting how small moments are often the tipping point, not the root cause.Her key shift: let go of the belief that meltdowns shouldn’t happen. Instead, focus on being prepared to handle them, using the mindset:“I can handle this, even if I don’t want to.”Timestamps:00:00 – Episode 200 Intro00:23 – Lisa’s Story01:53 – Why Meltdowns Are Misread03:23 – Meltdown vs. Tantrum03:40 – Autism and Dysregulation04:43 – Why Prevention Fails05:35 – Peanut Butter Case Study07:43 – The Real Mistake08:52 – Shift to Preparation09:54 – Mindset and Recovery11:34 – Free Training Offer12:20 – Wrap Up
Transcribe →The Three Truths I Tell Every Autism Mom
Apr 1500:15:46Tap to summarizeIn Episode 199 of The Autism Mom Coach, Lisa Candera shares three truths that can change how autism moms move through parenting, stress, and decision-making. Based on 18 years of raising her son with autism and coaching more than 100 moms, Lisa explains why the search for the right therapy, school, supplement, or strategy often turns into an exhausting loop. She also tackles one of the heaviest burdens autism moms carry: self-blame. From there, she walks listeners through a more useful focus—putting time, energy, and attention on what is actually within your control. This episode is especially relevant for autism moms dealing with guilt, meltdowns, anxiety, emotional overload, and the pressure of trying to hold everything together.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:Why autism parenting does not come with one perfect answer, even when the pressure to find one feels intenseHow the search for the right school, therapy, supplement, or treatment can drain your energy and fuel second-guessingWhy autism mom guilt and self-blame create more suffering without helping your childHow shame can cover deeper grief in autism parentingWhy focusing on what you can control leads to better decision-making, steadier parenting, and stronger emotional regulationHow these mindset shifts can help when you are navigating meltdowns, school struggles, anxiety, OCD, and major parenting decisionsLisa’s Takeaway:Autism moms spend a lot of time trying to find the right answer and carrying guilt for things that were never theirs to own. What helps more is learning to release the pressure of perfect decisions, step out of self-blame, and become more intentional about where your energy goes. That is where steadiness starts.Timestamps:00:00 Episode Intro01:28 Why This Matters02:28 The Myth of the Right Answer in Autism Parenting03:52 The Late-Night Autism Research Trap06:09 Why There Is No One Fix for Autism08:10 Why Autism Is Not Your Fault10:48 The Second Arrow of Shame and Self-Blame11:52 Blame, Grief, and What Autism Moms Carry13:15 More Power Than You Think14:37 Focus on What You Can Control15:34 Recap and Membership16:51 Coaching Invitation and OutroLinks Mentioned:The Autism Mom CoachThe Solid Circle waitlistOne-on-one coaching with Lisa CanderaIf you are looking for autism mom support that goes deeper than advice and gives you practical tools for meltdowns, emotional regulation, guilt, and hard decisions, visit theautismmomcoach.com to join The Solid Circle waitlist or schedule a consultation.
Transcribe →Ep 198: What Every Autism Mom Needs to Know in 2026
Apr 700:22:26Tap to summarizeIt's Autism Awareness Month, and while awareness of autism has never been higher, our actual understanding of the diagnosis is still far behind where it needs to be. In this episode, Lisa Candera draws on her 18 years as an autism parent, her background as a certified life coach, and her work with over 100 autism moms to break down three things every autism mom needs to know right now: why the experts don't have it all figured out, why your judgment as a parent matters more than you think, and why you deserve real support — not just platitudes about oxygen masks and superpowers.Lisa shares candid personal stories about navigating conflicting medical advice, the limitations of ABA therapy for her teenage son, and the real-world consequences of SSRIs prescribed without autism-specific knowledge. She also highlights examples from her coaching clients — including mothers whose children were diagnosed with everything except autism for years, and a mom whose own observations led to a PANS/PANDAS diagnosis that doctors had missed entirely.This episode is a grounding, no-nonsense look at where we actually are in our understanding of autism, and what that means for you as the person closest to your child.Key Takeaways1. We are still in the early stages of understanding autism. Like other complex neurological conditions, we don't fully know what causes autism or why it presents so differently from person to person. Autism is not a simple spectrum — Lisa describes it as more of a "soup," where the interaction between autism, anxiety, sensory processing, ADHD, and OCD changes everything. Treatments that help one child may not help another, and the experts themselves frequently disagree on the best course of action.2. Your parental judgment is one of the most important tools you have. When the professionals don't agree and the science is still catching up, the parent's proximity to their child becomes a critical source of information. You are the one who sees the full picture — before school, after therapy, after a medication change. Lisa urges autism moms to build the muscle of trusting their own observations, pattern recognition, and instincts, while being clear that this is not about blaming yourself for past decisions with the benefit of hindsight.3. You need support — and you don't need a permission slip to get it. There is almost nothing in the current system designed to support the parent who is coordinating therapies, handling meltdowns, sitting in IEP meetings, and making high-stakes decisions every day. Lisa explains why she built her coaching practice to fill this gap, and why real support means something more substantive than being told you're a superhero or that God gives special kids to special parents.Timestamps[00:00] Introduction — Autism Awareness Month and why awareness is not the same as understanding[02:30] Lisa's updated podcast intro and coaching philosophy[04:45] Announcement: The Autism Mom Coach 2.0 rebrand and new website[07:00] Why we are in the "dark ages" of understanding autism[08:30] Autism is not a spectrum — it's a soup[10:15] Why the experts disagree: Lisa's experience with ABA therapy at age 13[13:45] Conflicting medication advice: SSRIs and autism[17:00] The disconnect between autism specialists and OCD specialists[19:30] Why your judgment as a parent matters[22:00] Mothers who suspected autism years before their child was diagnosed[24:30] Client story: How a mom's observations led to a PANS/PANDAS diagnosis[27:00] Why autism moms need real support, not platitudes[30:00] The gap in the system — and what Lisa's coaching practice is built to address[32:30] Closing: Visit theautismmomcoach.comResources MentionedThe Autism Mom Coach website: theautismmomcoach.comAbout Your HostLisa Candera is a lawyer, certified life coach, and mother to an 18-year-old son with autism. After years of searching for support that actually addressed what she was going through as a parent — and not finding it — she built The Autism Mom Coach to help other mothers of autistic children stop white-knuckling it and start parenting from a grounded, regulated place. She has coached over 100 moms through meltdowns, impossible decisions, and the daily reality of raising a child with a complex diagnosis.If this episode resonated with you, subscribe to The Autism Mom Coach wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you can spare a minute, please leave a review — it helps other autism moms find the show.
Transcribe →197: Being Unbothered: A Better Way to Stay Regulated in Autism Parenting
Apr 100:13:03Tap to summarizeIn this episode, Lisa breaks down the idea of being unbothered and why it matters so much in autism parenting. Using an example from a true crime trial, she explores what it looks like to stay focused, regulated, and clear-headed when other people are escalating, pushing, whining, or pulling for a reaction.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:How being unbothered helps you stay focused on what actually matters in the moment.Why defending yourself to a dysregulated child usually adds fuel instead of helping.How extra talking, explaining, and reacting can escalate tension at home.Where this mindset can help most, including meltdowns, boundary-setting, public situations, IEP meetings, and tense interactions with providers.How emotional detachment can lower your stress and help you access the most rational part of your brain.Lisa’s Takeaway:When I talk about being unbothered, I am talking about staying focused on my role instead of getting pulled into every reaction, accusation, or emotional spike around me. That shift gives me more access to my rational brain and helps me lead with more steadiness in the moments that matter most.If this episode hit home, share it with another autism mom who is tired of getting pulled into every hard moment. For more personalized support, visit The Autism Mom Coach and learn how to work with Lisa.
Transcribe →Ep 195: Autism Changes You, Part 2
Feb 2500:14:18Tap to summarizeIn episode 195 of the Autism Mom Coach Podcast, host Lisa Kra (lawyer, life coach, and full-time single mom to a teen with autism) discusses the less positive ways autism parenting can change parents. She explains how advocacy, resilience, and adaptability can shift into constant battle mode, isolation, and tolerating situations that need intervention. Lisa covers chronic hypervigilance and sustained stress, how parents’ baseline for “normal” can become dangerously warped (including her experience at an inpatient autism hospital), and how this can lead to burnout or unsafe circumstances. She urges listeners to check in with themselves, drop the “suck it up buttercup” mindset, seek support (doctor, therapy, community), and reach out to her at lisa@theautismmomcoach.com or schedule a coaching consultation at theautismmomcoach.com.00:00 Autism Changes You (Part 2) — Episode Intro & What We’re Covering01:25 The Hidden Cost of “Positive” Traits: When Resilience Turns Into Survival Mode01:58 Hypervigilance: Living on High Alert and the Toll on Your Body04:12 When Your “Normal” Gets Warped: The Frog-in-Boiling-Water Effect07:23 Resilience vs. Enduring the Unreasonable: Knowing When It’s Too Much10:29 Check-In Questions: Is Your Nervous System Stuck in Overdrive?11:53 What Help Can Look Like: Doctor, Therapy, Community—and Stepping Back13:11 You’re Not Alone: Reach Out + Coaching Invitation (Closing)
Transcribe →Ep 194: Autism Changes You
Feb 1800:14:18Tap to summarizeIn this episode of The Autism Mom Coach Podcast, Lisa Candera—autism mom, attorney, life coach, and solo parent—reflects on the early days of her son Ben’s autism diagnosis and the profound ways autism parenting reshaped her identity, nervous system, beliefs, and leadership.Recording in January 2026, Lisa looks back 16 years to the moment of diagnosis. She shares what it felt like to sit in shock, download the Autism Speaks 100 Day Toolkit, and hear the phrase: “This diagnosis doesn’t change who your child is.”While that statement is true, Lisa explores the deeper truth many mothers experience:Autism parenting changes you.This episode dives into how raising a child with complex needs expands emotional capacity, rewires belief systems, strengthens advocacy skills, and transforms the way a mother leads her home.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:How an autism diagnosis impacts a parent’s nervous system and identityWhy behavior is information—not defiance or “bad behavior”How to shift your mindset at the IEP table and advocate with calm authorityWhat it means to stay in your lane instead of comparing therapies, milestones, and family lifeHow autism parenting develops empathy, resilience, and emotional leadershipWhy protecting your nervous system is foundational for supporting your childLisa shares personal stories about:Confronting early beliefs about “good” and “bad” behaviorSetting ego aside to see struggle underneath escalationAsking for meaningful supports at IEP meetingsPracticing self-compassion as a solo parentBecoming a steady, grounded presence in her householdIf you’re an exhausted autism mom wondering how this journey has changed you, this episode will help you see your growth with clarity and respect.Timestamps00:00 – Welcome to The Autism Mom Coach Podcast00:36 – January reflections: The day of diagnosis & feeling numb01:52 – “Autism didn’t change him — it changed me”04:25 – How autism strengthened my advocacy skills06:32 – Reframing behavior: Moving beyond “bad kid” narratives07:52 – IEP mindset shift: Asking for supports with confidence09:49 – Staying in your lane: Releasing comparison in autism parenting10:57 – How autism parenting has changed you too13:29 – Next steps: Coaching and consultationReady to Apply This Work?If this episode resonated and you want structured support in building emotional regulation, advocacy confidence, and steady leadership in your home, schedule a consultation call:👉 https://theautismmomcoach.comOne-on-one coaching focuses on nervous system regulation, mindset shifts, and practical tools so you can lead your autism household with clarity and authority.
Transcribe →Ep 193: Overaccomodation with Dr. Taylor Day
Feb 1100:36:19Tap to summarizeIn this episode of the Autism Mom Coach Podcast, host Lisa Candera talks with Dr. Taylor Day, a licensed psychologist specializing in neuro-affirming care for autistic children and their families. Dr. Tay shares her personal journey and professional insights on creating a holistic, family-focused approach to autism care. They discuss the importance of not just supporting the autistic child but also providing much-needed support to the entire family, including siblings and parents. Dr. Tay explains the nuances between accommodation and over-accommodation, how parents can process their own grief, and offers strategies for helping children understand their own neurodivergence. The conversation covers previewing changes, collaboration between parents and children, and the importance of seeking support. Tune in to learn how to create a balanced approach that benefits the entire family ecosystem. 00:00 Introduction00:33 Special Guest: Dr. Taylor Day 01:34 Dr. Tay's Personal Journey and Professional Insights 02:26 Challenges and Gaps in Autism Care 04:02 The Importance of Family Support 07:20 Therapy and Personal Growth 11:08 Parental Challenges and Strategies 19:49 Accommodation vs. Over-Accommodation 34:25 Conclusion and ResourcesTo learn more about Dr. Tay, visit her website: https://drtaylorday.com/
Transcribe →Ep 192: Being Your Autistic Child's Safe Person
Feb 400:54:34Tap to summarizeIn this episode of The Autism Mom Coach Podcast, I’m sharing a conversation from my appearance on Evolve with Dr. Tay with Dr. Taylor Day.We talk about the part of autism parenting that gets overlooked: the parent’s nervous system. Not behavior charts. Not better scripts. The parent.This conversation is about what it actually looks like to be your child’s safe person—without absorbing their distress, trying to fix what’s neurological, or burning yourself out in the process.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:Why parent regulation comes before co-regulationWhat “being the safe person” actually requires (and what it doesn’t)How staying in your own lane reduces escalationWhy behavior is information and how the meaning we attach to it fuels stressWhat it means to lead as the CEO of your autism householdHow acceptance strengthens leadership rather than weakening itLisa’s TakeawayFor a long time, I thought I needed better answers, better strategies, better plans, better experts. What actually changed things was learning how to regulate myself under pressure.You can still be the safe person. You can still lead. And you don’t have to do everything for your child to do that.About Dr. Taylor DayDr. Taylor Day is a licensed child psychologist and parent coach specializing in neurodivergent-affirming care. She brings both clinical expertise and lived experience as an autism sibling, with a strong focus on supporting the entire family system—not just the child.Resources Mentioned:The Autism Mom Coach: https://theautismmomcoach.comFollow me on Instagram and Facebook: @TheAutismMomCoachFree Resource: The Autism Mom’s Meltdown Plan — a clear Before-During-After framework for supporting your child while staying regulated yourself
Transcribe →