Podcast
The Autism Mom Coach
Hosted by Lisa Candera · EN
Do you sometimes feel like your life has been hijacked by Autism?
If so, this is the podcast for you. The Autism Mom Coach is a podcast for moms who feel overwhelmed, afraid, and sometimes powerless as they raise their child with Autism. Join your host, Lisa Candera, Certified Life Coach, lawyer, and (more importantly) full-time single mom to a teenage boy with Autism as she shares cognitive-based tools and trauma-informed strategies you can use to feel better now and transform your relationship with Autism and special needs parenting. The truth is, Autism is not in charge of your life, YOU are, and you have more power than you think. Visit theautismmomcoach.com for more information
25episodes
Episodes
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Ep. 200: The #1 Meltdown Mistake You Are Making and How to Stop It
May 600:12:25Tap to summarizeIn episode 200 of Autism Mom Coach, Lisa Candera shares the biggest mistake many autism parents make: putting all their energy into preventing meltdowns instead of preparing for them.She explains that meltdowns are a form of nervous system dysregulation, often driven by autism-related challenges like sensory overload, communication difficulties, low frustration tolerance, impulsivity, and executive functioning struggles. Because of this, meltdowns can still happen—even when you’ve done “all the right things.”Lisa breaks down the difference between meltdowns and tantrums, emphasizing that meltdowns are not something kids can simply turn on and off.She also shares a relatable example of a child melting down over a peanut butter substitution after a day filled with unexpected changes—highlighting how small moments are often the tipping point, not the root cause.Her key shift: let go of the belief that meltdowns shouldn’t happen. Instead, focus on being prepared to handle them, using the mindset:“I can handle this, even if I don’t want to.”Timestamps:00:00 – Episode 200 Intro00:23 – Lisa’s Story01:53 – Why Meltdowns Are Misread03:23 – Meltdown vs. Tantrum03:40 – Autism and Dysregulation04:43 – Why Prevention Fails05:35 – Peanut Butter Case Study07:43 – The Real Mistake08:52 – Shift to Preparation09:54 – Mindset and Recovery11:34 – Free Training Offer12:20 – Wrap Up
Transcribe →The Three Truths I Tell Every Autism Mom
Apr 1500:15:46Tap to summarizeIn Episode 199 of The Autism Mom Coach, Lisa Candera shares three truths that can change how autism moms move through parenting, stress, and decision-making. Based on 18 years of raising her son with autism and coaching more than 100 moms, Lisa explains why the search for the right therapy, school, supplement, or strategy often turns into an exhausting loop. She also tackles one of the heaviest burdens autism moms carry: self-blame. From there, she walks listeners through a more useful focus—putting time, energy, and attention on what is actually within your control. This episode is especially relevant for autism moms dealing with guilt, meltdowns, anxiety, emotional overload, and the pressure of trying to hold everything together.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:Why autism parenting does not come with one perfect answer, even when the pressure to find one feels intenseHow the search for the right school, therapy, supplement, or treatment can drain your energy and fuel second-guessingWhy autism mom guilt and self-blame create more suffering without helping your childHow shame can cover deeper grief in autism parentingWhy focusing on what you can control leads to better decision-making, steadier parenting, and stronger emotional regulationHow these mindset shifts can help when you are navigating meltdowns, school struggles, anxiety, OCD, and major parenting decisionsLisa’s Takeaway:Autism moms spend a lot of time trying to find the right answer and carrying guilt for things that were never theirs to own. What helps more is learning to release the pressure of perfect decisions, step out of self-blame, and become more intentional about where your energy goes. That is where steadiness starts.Timestamps:00:00 Episode Intro01:28 Why This Matters02:28 The Myth of the Right Answer in Autism Parenting03:52 The Late-Night Autism Research Trap06:09 Why There Is No One Fix for Autism08:10 Why Autism Is Not Your Fault10:48 The Second Arrow of Shame and Self-Blame11:52 Blame, Grief, and What Autism Moms Carry13:15 More Power Than You Think14:37 Focus on What You Can Control15:34 Recap and Membership16:51 Coaching Invitation and OutroLinks Mentioned:The Autism Mom CoachThe Solid Circle waitlistOne-on-one coaching with Lisa CanderaIf you are looking for autism mom support that goes deeper than advice and gives you practical tools for meltdowns, emotional regulation, guilt, and hard decisions, visit theautismmomcoach.com to join The Solid Circle waitlist or schedule a consultation.
Transcribe →Ep 198: What Every Autism Mom Needs to Know in 2026
Apr 700:22:26Tap to summarizeIt's Autism Awareness Month, and while awareness of autism has never been higher, our actual understanding of the diagnosis is still far behind where it needs to be. In this episode, Lisa Candera draws on her 18 years as an autism parent, her background as a certified life coach, and her work with over 100 autism moms to break down three things every autism mom needs to know right now: why the experts don't have it all figured out, why your judgment as a parent matters more than you think, and why you deserve real support — not just platitudes about oxygen masks and superpowers.Lisa shares candid personal stories about navigating conflicting medical advice, the limitations of ABA therapy for her teenage son, and the real-world consequences of SSRIs prescribed without autism-specific knowledge. She also highlights examples from her coaching clients — including mothers whose children were diagnosed with everything except autism for years, and a mom whose own observations led to a PANS/PANDAS diagnosis that doctors had missed entirely.This episode is a grounding, no-nonsense look at where we actually are in our understanding of autism, and what that means for you as the person closest to your child.Key Takeaways1. We are still in the early stages of understanding autism. Like other complex neurological conditions, we don't fully know what causes autism or why it presents so differently from person to person. Autism is not a simple spectrum — Lisa describes it as more of a "soup," where the interaction between autism, anxiety, sensory processing, ADHD, and OCD changes everything. Treatments that help one child may not help another, and the experts themselves frequently disagree on the best course of action.2. Your parental judgment is one of the most important tools you have. When the professionals don't agree and the science is still catching up, the parent's proximity to their child becomes a critical source of information. You are the one who sees the full picture — before school, after therapy, after a medication change. Lisa urges autism moms to build the muscle of trusting their own observations, pattern recognition, and instincts, while being clear that this is not about blaming yourself for past decisions with the benefit of hindsight.3. You need support — and you don't need a permission slip to get it. There is almost nothing in the current system designed to support the parent who is coordinating therapies, handling meltdowns, sitting in IEP meetings, and making high-stakes decisions every day. Lisa explains why she built her coaching practice to fill this gap, and why real support means something more substantive than being told you're a superhero or that God gives special kids to special parents.Timestamps[00:00] Introduction — Autism Awareness Month and why awareness is not the same as understanding[02:30] Lisa's updated podcast intro and coaching philosophy[04:45] Announcement: The Autism Mom Coach 2.0 rebrand and new website[07:00] Why we are in the "dark ages" of understanding autism[08:30] Autism is not a spectrum — it's a soup[10:15] Why the experts disagree: Lisa's experience with ABA therapy at age 13[13:45] Conflicting medication advice: SSRIs and autism[17:00] The disconnect between autism specialists and OCD specialists[19:30] Why your judgment as a parent matters[22:00] Mothers who suspected autism years before their child was diagnosed[24:30] Client story: How a mom's observations led to a PANS/PANDAS diagnosis[27:00] Why autism moms need real support, not platitudes[30:00] The gap in the system — and what Lisa's coaching practice is built to address[32:30] Closing: Visit theautismmomcoach.comResources MentionedThe Autism Mom Coach website: theautismmomcoach.comAbout Your HostLisa Candera is a lawyer, certified life coach, and mother to an 18-year-old son with autism. After years of searching for support that actually addressed what she was going through as a parent — and not finding it — she built The Autism Mom Coach to help other mothers of autistic children stop white-knuckling it and start parenting from a grounded, regulated place. She has coached over 100 moms through meltdowns, impossible decisions, and the daily reality of raising a child with a complex diagnosis.If this episode resonated with you, subscribe to The Autism Mom Coach wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you can spare a minute, please leave a review — it helps other autism moms find the show.
Transcribe →197: Being Unbothered: A Better Way to Stay Regulated in Autism Parenting
Apr 100:13:03Tap to summarizeIn this episode, Lisa breaks down the idea of being unbothered and why it matters so much in autism parenting. Using an example from a true crime trial, she explores what it looks like to stay focused, regulated, and clear-headed when other people are escalating, pushing, whining, or pulling for a reaction.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:How being unbothered helps you stay focused on what actually matters in the moment.Why defending yourself to a dysregulated child usually adds fuel instead of helping.How extra talking, explaining, and reacting can escalate tension at home.Where this mindset can help most, including meltdowns, boundary-setting, public situations, IEP meetings, and tense interactions with providers.How emotional detachment can lower your stress and help you access the most rational part of your brain.Lisa’s Takeaway:When I talk about being unbothered, I am talking about staying focused on my role instead of getting pulled into every reaction, accusation, or emotional spike around me. That shift gives me more access to my rational brain and helps me lead with more steadiness in the moments that matter most.If this episode hit home, share it with another autism mom who is tired of getting pulled into every hard moment. For more personalized support, visit The Autism Mom Coach and learn how to work with Lisa.
Transcribe →Ep 195: Autism Changes You, Part 2
Feb 2500:14:18Tap to summarizeIn episode 195 of the Autism Mom Coach Podcast, host Lisa Kra (lawyer, life coach, and full-time single mom to a teen with autism) discusses the less positive ways autism parenting can change parents. She explains how advocacy, resilience, and adaptability can shift into constant battle mode, isolation, and tolerating situations that need intervention. Lisa covers chronic hypervigilance and sustained stress, how parents’ baseline for “normal” can become dangerously warped (including her experience at an inpatient autism hospital), and how this can lead to burnout or unsafe circumstances. She urges listeners to check in with themselves, drop the “suck it up buttercup” mindset, seek support (doctor, therapy, community), and reach out to her at lisa@theautismmomcoach.com or schedule a coaching consultation at theautismmomcoach.com.00:00 Autism Changes You (Part 2) — Episode Intro & What We’re Covering01:25 The Hidden Cost of “Positive” Traits: When Resilience Turns Into Survival Mode01:58 Hypervigilance: Living on High Alert and the Toll on Your Body04:12 When Your “Normal” Gets Warped: The Frog-in-Boiling-Water Effect07:23 Resilience vs. Enduring the Unreasonable: Knowing When It’s Too Much10:29 Check-In Questions: Is Your Nervous System Stuck in Overdrive?11:53 What Help Can Look Like: Doctor, Therapy, Community—and Stepping Back13:11 You’re Not Alone: Reach Out + Coaching Invitation (Closing)
Transcribe →Ep 194: Autism Changes You
Feb 1800:14:18Tap to summarizeIn this episode of The Autism Mom Coach Podcast, Lisa Candera—autism mom, attorney, life coach, and solo parent—reflects on the early days of her son Ben’s autism diagnosis and the profound ways autism parenting reshaped her identity, nervous system, beliefs, and leadership.Recording in January 2026, Lisa looks back 16 years to the moment of diagnosis. She shares what it felt like to sit in shock, download the Autism Speaks 100 Day Toolkit, and hear the phrase: “This diagnosis doesn’t change who your child is.”While that statement is true, Lisa explores the deeper truth many mothers experience:Autism parenting changes you.This episode dives into how raising a child with complex needs expands emotional capacity, rewires belief systems, strengthens advocacy skills, and transforms the way a mother leads her home.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:How an autism diagnosis impacts a parent’s nervous system and identityWhy behavior is information—not defiance or “bad behavior”How to shift your mindset at the IEP table and advocate with calm authorityWhat it means to stay in your lane instead of comparing therapies, milestones, and family lifeHow autism parenting develops empathy, resilience, and emotional leadershipWhy protecting your nervous system is foundational for supporting your childLisa shares personal stories about:Confronting early beliefs about “good” and “bad” behaviorSetting ego aside to see struggle underneath escalationAsking for meaningful supports at IEP meetingsPracticing self-compassion as a solo parentBecoming a steady, grounded presence in her householdIf you’re an exhausted autism mom wondering how this journey has changed you, this episode will help you see your growth with clarity and respect.Timestamps00:00 – Welcome to The Autism Mom Coach Podcast00:36 – January reflections: The day of diagnosis & feeling numb01:52 – “Autism didn’t change him — it changed me”04:25 – How autism strengthened my advocacy skills06:32 – Reframing behavior: Moving beyond “bad kid” narratives07:52 – IEP mindset shift: Asking for supports with confidence09:49 – Staying in your lane: Releasing comparison in autism parenting10:57 – How autism parenting has changed you too13:29 – Next steps: Coaching and consultationReady to Apply This Work?If this episode resonated and you want structured support in building emotional regulation, advocacy confidence, and steady leadership in your home, schedule a consultation call:👉 https://theautismmomcoach.comOne-on-one coaching focuses on nervous system regulation, mindset shifts, and practical tools so you can lead your autism household with clarity and authority.
Transcribe →Ep 193: Overaccomodation with Dr. Taylor Day
Feb 1100:36:19Tap to summarizeIn this episode of the Autism Mom Coach Podcast, host Lisa Candera talks with Dr. Taylor Day, a licensed psychologist specializing in neuro-affirming care for autistic children and their families. Dr. Tay shares her personal journey and professional insights on creating a holistic, family-focused approach to autism care. They discuss the importance of not just supporting the autistic child but also providing much-needed support to the entire family, including siblings and parents. Dr. Tay explains the nuances between accommodation and over-accommodation, how parents can process their own grief, and offers strategies for helping children understand their own neurodivergence. The conversation covers previewing changes, collaboration between parents and children, and the importance of seeking support. Tune in to learn how to create a balanced approach that benefits the entire family ecosystem. 00:00 Introduction00:33 Special Guest: Dr. Taylor Day 01:34 Dr. Tay's Personal Journey and Professional Insights 02:26 Challenges and Gaps in Autism Care 04:02 The Importance of Family Support 07:20 Therapy and Personal Growth 11:08 Parental Challenges and Strategies 19:49 Accommodation vs. Over-Accommodation 34:25 Conclusion and ResourcesTo learn more about Dr. Tay, visit her website: https://drtaylorday.com/
Transcribe →Ep 192: Being Your Autistic Child's Safe Person
Feb 400:54:34Tap to summarizeIn this episode of The Autism Mom Coach Podcast, I’m sharing a conversation from my appearance on Evolve with Dr. Tay with Dr. Taylor Day.We talk about the part of autism parenting that gets overlooked: the parent’s nervous system. Not behavior charts. Not better scripts. The parent.This conversation is about what it actually looks like to be your child’s safe person—without absorbing their distress, trying to fix what’s neurological, or burning yourself out in the process.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:Why parent regulation comes before co-regulationWhat “being the safe person” actually requires (and what it doesn’t)How staying in your own lane reduces escalationWhy behavior is information and how the meaning we attach to it fuels stressWhat it means to lead as the CEO of your autism householdHow acceptance strengthens leadership rather than weakening itLisa’s TakeawayFor a long time, I thought I needed better answers, better strategies, better plans, better experts. What actually changed things was learning how to regulate myself under pressure.You can still be the safe person. You can still lead. And you don’t have to do everything for your child to do that.About Dr. Taylor DayDr. Taylor Day is a licensed child psychologist and parent coach specializing in neurodivergent-affirming care. She brings both clinical expertise and lived experience as an autism sibling, with a strong focus on supporting the entire family system—not just the child.Resources Mentioned:The Autism Mom Coach: https://theautismmomcoach.comFollow me on Instagram and Facebook: @TheAutismMomCoachFree Resource: The Autism Mom’s Meltdown Plan — a clear Before-During-After framework for supporting your child while staying regulated yourself
Transcribe →Ep 191: Learning You
Jan 2100:35:47Tap to summarizeIn this episode, Lisa talks with filmmaker Tyler Sansom and actor John Wells about the film Learning You. The movie follows a single father and his autistic son after the father removes him from an institution and takes him on an unplanned Christmas road trip.The conversation explores why this story felt different to tell and to watch. Tyler shares how the film came to him through a producer parenting a profoundly autistic daughter and how interviews with families shaped the script. John talks about stepping into the role as a father raising an autistic son himself, and how closely the character’s experiences mirrored his own.They discuss institutions, marriage breakdowns, system failures, meltdowns, and the way autism parenting requires constant recalibration. The focus stays on learning your child over time, reading early cues, and understanding behavior as information rather than something to correct.In This Episode, You’ll Hear and LearnWhat Learning You is about and how the story came to be madeWhy the film centers on institutional decisions and their impact on familiesHow John’s experience parenting an autistic son informed his performanceHow parents learn to recognize early signs before a meltdown escalatesWhy behavior often reflects nervous system overloadHow autism parenting evolves as children grow and changeTo watch Learning You, visit https://www.learningyoumovie.com to find a theater near you or learn more about the film’s release.
Transcribe →Ep 190: Lessons from the Teen Years, So Far
Jan 1400:28:05Tap to summarizeIn this episode, Lisa reflects on what parenting her son through years of severe anxiety, OCD, aggression, and hospitalizations taught her as he transitioned into adulthood. She shares three principles that carried her through the darkest seasons—and continue to guide her as an autism mom today.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:How acceptance evolved from a one-time idea into a moment-by-moment practiceWhy resistance to reality can interfere with decision-making during crisisWhat unconditional love looks like when your child feels unfamiliarHow holding hope differs from denial—and why it requires courageWhy clearer advocacy came only after facing what was actually happeningLisa’s Takeaway:The teen years forced me to accept what was happening in real time, love my child without conditions tied to outcomes, and hold hope even when there was no evidence yet. Those three principles changed how I showed up as a parent—and as an advocate.Links Mentioned:Schedule a consultation: https://talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me/Email Lisa: lisa@theautismmomcoach.comIf this episode resonated and you’re carrying a lot right now—whether you’re in crisis or simply worn down—you don’t have to navigate it alone.Schedule a one-on-one consultation at talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me and let’s talk through what support could look like for you.
Transcribe →