In episode 200 of Autism Mom Coach, Lisa Candera shares the biggest mistake many autism parents make: putting all their energy into preventing meltdowns instead of preparing for them.

She explains that meltdowns are a form of nervous system dysregulation, often driven by autism-related challenges like sensory overload, communication difficulties, low frustration tolerance, impulsivity, and executive functioning struggles. Because of this, meltdowns can still happen—even when you’ve done “all the right things.”

Lisa breaks down the difference between meltdowns and tantrums, emphasizing that meltdowns are not something kids can simply turn on and off.

She also shares a relatable example of a child melting down over a peanut butter substitution after a day filled with unexpected changes—highlighting how small moments are often the tipping point, not the root cause.

Her key shift: let go of the belief that meltdowns shouldn’t happen. Instead, focus on being prepared to handle them, using the mindset:

“I can handle this, even if I don’t want to.”

Timestamps:

00:00 – Episode 200 Intro

00:23 – Lisa’s Story

01:53 – Why Meltdowns Are Misread

03:23 – Meltdown vs. Tantrum

03:40 – Autism and Dysregulation

04:43 – Why Prevention Fails

05:35 – Peanut Butter Case Study

07:43 – The Real Mistake

08:52 – Shift to Preparation

09:54 – Mindset and Recovery

11:34 – Free Training Offer

12:20 – Wrap Up