You've learned about the nervous system, you're trying to co-regulate, you're thinking about felt safety and connection — and the behavior is still happening! WHY?!?! This episode is a troubleshooting guide for exactly that moment. Instead of going back to the drawing board, we're going deeper into the same map: getting curious about regulation, felt safety, connection, and skills to figure out what the nervous system actually needs.

In this episode you'll learn:

Why the question is never "what consequence haven't I tried yet?" — and what to ask instead
How to troubleshoot each of the four conditions that need to be in place for behavior to be okay: regulation, felt safety, connection, and skills
Why a child can "know" a skill and still not be able to access it — and what scaffolding that skill actually looks like

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Podcast Episodes

Ep 198: All Behavior Makes Sense — deep dive into the moment the behavioral impulse fires
Ep. 9: Building the Tower of Self Regulation — very early episode about trust and what it means for kids with vulnerable nervous systems; link to go in show notes
Starts at Ep. 161: Felt Safety series — multiple episodes: one on i

Calling all professionals who work with the families of kids with dysregulated and big, baffling behaviors!

I'm hosting my annual, FREE audio-training the week of May 4th!

Head to RobynGobbel.com/BafflingBehaviors NOW to register so the moment the audios go live on May 4th, you'll have access right here in your podcast app!

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Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!

Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NY

Presence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026

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The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

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Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

EP 261: When It's Not Working: Troubleshooting