A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya

Summary

Podcast Summary: "A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya"

Introduction In this engaging episode of The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya, hosts Trixie and Katya dive into a variety of pop culture topics, blending humor with insightful commentary. The conversation weaves through their experiences with Disney parks, critiques of reality TV shows like 90 Day Fiance, and a thoughtful discussion on the critically acclaimed series Fargo.

---

1. Exploring Fargo Season Five

The episode kicks off with Trixie’s enthusiasm for Fargo Season Five, highlighting its complex characters and genre-blending narrative.

• Trixie: “I hope that they never have the pleasure of watching Fargo season five. That I do.” (35:17)

• Katya: “It was kind of like it. It was kind of poly in the way it presented, what genre it is. It was like every genre was like a little scary, a little funny, a little drama.” (35:25)

They praise the show's ability to intertwine elements of horror, comedy, and drama, making it a standout in contemporary television.

---

2. Disney Park Adventures and Reflections

The conversation shifts to their personal experiences with Disney parks, particularly focusing on the transformation of Splash Mountain into Tiana's Bayou Adventure.

• Trixie: “I felt weirdly racist not having seen the black princess movie.” (36:16)

• Katya: “So I watched the movie. It was a lovely movie. She turns into a frog. She kisses the frog, thinking that she's going to cure the frog, and she turns into a frog herself. It's like Shrek kind of. Frog Shrek.” (36:30)

They discuss the cultural significance of Disney's adaptations and share anecdotes about navigating the park, including the challenges of encountering strollers and their strategies for enjoying rides without the usual crowds.

---

3. Critique of 90 Day Fiance Season Nine

Trixie and Katya delve into the latest season of 90 Day Fiance, offering a critical lens on the show's portrayal of international relationships and cultural dynamics.

• Trixie: “I love 90 Day Fiance. I love it.” (46:24)

• Katya: “This person here, she has some stuff that I don't like.” (46:30)

They analyze the complexities of a couple from Moldova, discussing the cultural and personal challenges depicted in the series. The hosts express concerns over authenticity and the implications of filming intimate relationships for television, emphasizing the importance of genuine connections over performative interactions.

---

4. Reality TV and Its Impact on Relationships

The hosts explore the broader impact of reality TV on viewers' perceptions of relationships, questioning the authenticity and motivational aspects of such shows.

• Katya: “You know, it's filmed on television, which is... it's weird because there's cameras around and it shows them in bed, cuddling, kissing.” (37:01)

• Trixie: “You never seen it? No, I never. I would watch all of them on YouTube because I don't like any of the story. I just went. All the death.” (37:06)

Trixie and Katya highlight how reality TV often blurs the lines between reality and scripted content, leading to misconceptions about healthy relationship dynamics.

---

5. Merchandise and Branding: Goblin Head Nation

Towards the end of the episode, the conversation lightens as Trixie and Katya discuss their exclusive merchandise, humorously referencing their brand "Goblin Head Nation."

• Katya: “You know, our merch says Goblin Head Nation.” (53:14)

• Trixie: “Pour one out for the Goblin Head.” (53:20)

This segment showcases their playful camaraderie and the community they've built around their unique brand identity.

---

Notable Quotes

• Trixie on Fargo:

  • “I hope that they never have the pleasure of watching Fargo season five. That I do.” (35:17)

• Katya on Disney Parks:

  • “It's like Shrek kind of. Frog Shrek.” (36:30)

• Trixie on Reality TV:

  • “You never seen it? No, I never. I would watch all of them on YouTube because I don't like any of the story. I just went. All the death.” (37:06)

• Katya on Merchandise:

  • “You know, our merch says Goblin Head Nation.” (53:14)

---

Conclusion In this episode, Trixie and Katya blend their sharp wit with genuine insights, offering listeners a mix of humor and thoughtful critique on popular culture. From dissecting the layers of Fargo and 90 Day Fiance to sharing their personal Disney adventures and celebrating their unique merchandise, the hosts deliver a rich and engaging conversation that resonates with both fans and new listeners alike.

---

Note: Timestamps correspond to the approximate moments in the provided transcript where each quote and discussion segment occurs.

Transcript

[Jackie]

We're so done with New Year. New you this year it's More youe on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Geminis because you know you always like them. More of you dating with intention because you know what you want and you know what we love that for you, someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumblebee. Get the Angel Reese Special at McDonald's. Now let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and the drinks. Sound good? Ba da ba ba ba.

[Jimmy]

I participate in restaurants for a limited time.

[Derek]

I can say to my new Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra, hey, find a keto friendly restaurant nearby and text it to Beth and Steve. And it does without me lifting a finger so I can get in more squats anywhere I can. 1, 1, 2, 3.

[Jimmy]

Will that be cash or credit?

[Derek]

Credit.

[Jimmy]

4 Galaxy S25 Ultra, the AI companion.

[Andrew]

That does the heavy lifting. So you can do you get [e-mail].

[Jimmy]

Compatible with select apps.

[Andrew]

Requires Google Gemini account.

[Jimmy]

Results may vary based on input. Check responses for accuracy. I'm mad as hell. And you know what the worst thing is, is when you, when you have no one to blame but your.

[Derek]

I do think that's a healthier option than blaming everybody else, right? Don't most people just say it's everyone else?

[Jimmy]

I can't do that though, because I can't. I can't. I, I, I'm not capable of, like, lying that much. You know what I mean? It's like, well, if you're gonna scream about it, you have to examine it. And if you examine it, then you realize it's you.

[Derek]

Right? You know, I think most drag queens would take the road more traveled, which is, we hear this all the time from our colleagues. Everything in my life is wrong because.

[Jimmy]

Of A, B and C and D.

[Derek]

My managers, my agents, the network, my fans, and my manager. No, this, you know, is like, this.

[Jimmy]

Is the opposite thing. It's like I, I know it's bad because I know it's me because I know I did it right. And then it makes it worse.

[Derek]

It's the black mold.

[Jimmy]

It's the black mold. It's the black diarrhea. I got fucking food poisoning the other day. To add insult to injury.

[Derek]

What? Gotcha.

[Jimmy]

Blueberries.

[Derek]

Full of, full of antioxidants. Where'd you get the blueberries from? Let's put the store on blast.

[Andrew]

Ralph's.

[Derek]

Okay.

[Jimmy]

Did not wash them. Did not wash them berries. You didn't wash. Did not wash them berries. And ate a whole thing of them. They were so delicious.

[Derek]

Right.

[Jimmy]

I could not believe how delicious they were. I was like, this is too good to be true.

[Derek]

What's that extra flavor? Feces? E Coli.

[Jimmy]

Yeah, E. Coli in the berries. And then what did she do? Oh, she blew ass for like 15 minutes straight. Then she went to pukin. Oh, she went to puking. Oh, she went to retching and hollering and screaming and sweating and screaming and clutching and. And retching and vomiting, puking. And every single thing that went in her little teenage body was up in that toilet.

[Derek]

What, have you had food poisoning before? It's. Girl, can I tell you something? It sucks.

[Jimmy]

It was.

[Derek]

Yeah.

[Jimmy]

And you said, you just. You're just saying that you would never. You would not wish up on your worst enemy. I 100 agree.

[Derek]

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I mean, you're not just puking. Your. Your body's shaking.

[Jimmy]

Yeah. Pain. Full body pain.

[Derek]

You feel poisoned pain. And you are, which sucks. I would rather my brains out than puke. Yeah, no, the puking is awful.

[Jimmy]

I did. I got.

[Andrew]

I didn't.

[Jimmy]

I didn't get much of the end that. The poopy end. I got all the. The puking.

[Derek]

And your eyes are bloodshot enough. Yeah, we don't need.

[Jimmy]

I didn't need more blood. Burst blood vessels in my life.

[Derek]

I Gelson's in West Hollywood. I got some avoc, like a guacamole avocado spread for some pita chips on one of my health kicks. Immediately throwing up. It was. It was. And it comes on real. Real food poisoning hits so fast, so hard. You go from that's weird to like.

[Jimmy]

I was very confused about it because I woke up at three in the morning and I was like, oh, God, I feel so weird.

[Andrew]

Oh, I feel so weird.

[Jimmy]

I felt like that. It's like, you know when you start to salivate and you're gonna throw. It's like your body's prepping to throw up.

[Derek]

Sure.

[Jimmy]

I was like, oh, God, this is weird. This is weird. Cause I haven't thrown up in forever. I never get sick that way. Like stomach sick or whatever because I don't drink. And so, like, I never. I don't. The vomiting thing is like, really not a part of my lifestyle anyways. The. Oh, my God, it was horrible. It was horrible. And then for didn't eat anything for a day and a half.

[Derek]

Are you at the rental?

[Jimmy]

Yes.

[Derek]

You have a rental now?

[Jimmy]

No, I was in my. I was in my gutted piece of condo.

[Derek]

So you're puking in the bathroom with the gutted walls and no shower?

[Jimmy]

Yeah, no shower. And I had. Thank God for Andrew because he was like. He took me from. I barfed all over the rental. And then I found the. The welcome. One of the bath mats that today it was covered in fucking blueberry puke. Disgusting.

[Derek]

Oh, that's a very. It was colorful, right?

[Jimmy]

It was a big. It's a. Yeah, blue.

[Derek]

And it's gonna, like, look blue on.

[Jimmy]

It was purple and blue and so stainy. So stainy. Blueberry stainy. Yeah. Oh, my God. It was horrible. And then.

[Derek]

But what about the antioxidants?

[Jimmy]

But the thing is, I can't tell you how delicious these blueberries were.

[Derek]

They were good. Did you do it all over again?

[Jimmy]

I went to the fridge and I saw I had another case of them. I was like, don't do it, Jackie.

[Derek]

Yeah.

[Jimmy]

Could you imagine if I did it and then did it all over again, to be honest?

[Derek]

Well, it could be that you didn't rinse them, which I also forget to do.

[Jimmy]

Yeah.

[Derek]

And I know that's bad because people have told me, oh, you're eating feces.

[Jimmy]

Right? E. Coli. But. So. Okay, well, I'm never gonna eat blueberries again in my life. Right. That's just it. And I don't think I'm ever gonna eat food from the grocery store either.

[Derek]

How long did it go on for?

[Jimmy]

The puking and the pain went on for 24 hours and then was followed by the most bizarre window of non living. A day and a half of nothing. A day.

[Derek]

You lose a day.

[Jimmy]

I didn't even know. I didn't even know who I was, where I was, or what I was doing because I wasn't eating, I wasn't drinking, and I wasn't moving.

[Derek]

Won't pick up the phone.

[Jimmy]

I would literally just look like this.

[Derek]

Yeah, I know.

[Jimmy]

Strangers and candy.

[Derek]

I was like, did you watch tv?

[Andrew]

No.

[Derek]

Oh, yeah.

[Jimmy]

I lost a day and a half.

[Derek]

When you're that sick, even TV is nauseating. Everything too much. Yeah, I know.

[Jimmy]

I couldn't go up and down the stairs. I was gonna, like, get hot. I get freezing. But so, like, I'm sweating in three layers of clothes and I'm just like, literally Gwyneth Paltrow in contagion the whole time. Day and a half. Didn't go to the bathroom. Do you go to the bathroom?

[Derek]

Wait a minute.

[Jimmy]

Didn't go to the bathroom. No fluids coming in or out, Nothing.

[Derek]

Did you poop? No.

[Jimmy]

I can't remember the last time I pooped, to be quite honest.

[Derek]

Did you go big potty? Did you go big potty?

[Jimmy]

I haven't gone big potty in quite a while. Dang day and a half. Nothing. Nothing. Literally just coming out of the fog right now, like.

[Derek]

You'Re back. Well, you look good.

[Andrew]

No, I look.

[Derek]

You look. You look.

[Jimmy]

This background.

[Derek]

You look alive. Look youthful, alive. I'm really sorry you got food poisoning. It sucks.

[Jimmy]

It sucks. It's horrible. I don't. I hope nobody has to do it. I hope I'm the last person on earth who ever has to do it.

[Derek]

When I got the first. The first time I really remember getting it was during the Donald's first presidency. And I remember thinking, wow, this is so bad. I wouldn't even wish this on the Donald. Somebody I really am not. So I remember thinking, wow, if I won't want this person to get it. It's bad.

[Jimmy]

It's bad. It's horrible. It's horrible.

[Derek]

It's like a hangover on crack. Yeah. And also, if you're really food poisoned, the stomach twisting, aching, like you're not just nauseous.

[Jimmy]

It's like there was nothing. There's nothing in there. And it was. I swear to God, it was distended.

[Derek]

Bloated.

[Jimmy]

Distended and hugely bloated. And I was with this.

[Derek]

What about these videos of people coming out of colonoscopies? Just blowing, just blowing.

[Jimmy]

Moaning.

[Derek]

Yeah.

[Jimmy]

Andrew's driving me back to my apartment.

[Derek]

He's driving you?

[Jimmy]

Yeah.

[Derek]

I wouldn't let somebody see me if I was that sick.

[Jimmy]

Oh, no, no, no. It was. It was. It was like. I was like, you have to help me. I was like, help me, help me. And he was so nice. And he drove me from the thing to the thing. And I was like. The whole time, I was like, how am I not going to puke? How am I not going to puke? I was like.

[Andrew]

Horrible. The terrifier.

[Derek]

You know, when I was at Disney, I got a little bit of motion sickness, so I kind of had the same thing.

[Jimmy]

Tell me about.

[Derek]

You see people run around with those. With those Band aids, the motion sickness, back of the neck, Band Aid things.

[Jimmy]

Drama, mean.

[Derek]

I guess it's like a motion sickness patch. People get it on the back of what?

[Jimmy]

Where do you get motion sickness from in Disney World?

[Derek]

Rides, I guess.

[Jimmy]

Then why are you going on Rides.

[Derek]

Well, some people want to do the rides, but they get sick. You want to do the ride until you do the ride, and then you're sick. You get sick from the motion. Motion sickness.

[Jimmy]

Well, I watched the Final Destination, you.

[Derek]

Know, with the roller coaster.

[Jimmy]

Yeah.

[Derek]

Yeah.

[Jimmy]

Had to.

[Derek]

You never seen it?

[Jimmy]

No, I never. I would. I watched all of them on YouTube because I don't like any of the story. I just went. All the death.

[Derek]

I don't think it's likely to die from that. Roller coasters. I don't, like, feel unsafe on a roller coaster. No, you're more likely to die on the way to Disney in the car.

[Jimmy]

That's what they said in the movie. That's what they said in the movie.

[Andrew]

It's true.

[Derek]

So I went.

[Jimmy]

And you put that thing on the back of your neck.

[Derek]

No, I don't get really motion sickness, but I went and I stayed at the Hotel Disney California Adventure because I thought, I don't want. When I think of going to Disney in LA, I think of that 7, 8am trying out to get a bunch of faggots into SUV to drive to Anaheim. Being in a parking lot at 8am trying to like, you know, like that. That whole pre Disney rigamarole is not worth the squeeze to me.

[Andrew]

Sure.

[Derek]

So I was like, all right, I'll go. What if I get a room the.

[Jimmy]

Night before in a Splash Mountain?

[Derek]

In the Splash, like at the top of the mountain anymore. It's Tiana's Something Adventure. Tiana's Bayou Adventure. Princess and the Frog.

[Jimmy]

Oh, this Princess and the Frog. Well, Frog Mountain.

[Derek]

Frog Mountain. You get.

[Jimmy]

You get a room in Frog Mountain.

[Derek]

It's Frog Mountain. Sweet Frogger Mountain.

[Jimmy]

Yeah.

[Derek]

So I stayed at the Disney California Adventure. Now, last time I went there, which was pre Covid. I'm not a Disney gay. Don't look at my outfit. It's just. It's just merchandise. So I haven't gone since like 2018, probably. But I was like, you know what? If I'm gonna go, I'm going to be Miss Thing and I'm going to get a room the night before so I can wake up and walk into the park. Because you're staying at a hotel. Yeah.

[Jimmy]

Yeah.

[Derek]

That's the way to do it. Wake up in the park. Wow. I want to go on a ride. It's right there.

[Jimmy]

Yeah.

[Derek]

Rather than, hey, let's get the faggots into a car at 7am to try to get to Anaheim.

[Jimmy]

Anaheim.

[Derek]

You're waiting in the car for everyone to quaff their yeah. Their mushroom cut and put the glitter on their cubes and put in their contact lenses and their fake teeth and get in the car. Right? So everybody's so waking up like, like.

[Jimmy]

Oh, yeah, Frog Mountain.

[Derek]

The night before I had the lightning. I got the lightning premiere pass, which I guess has cut the lines, which was $349 extra per person, but very horny.

[Jimmy]

Yeah, you're not going to go very horny. I always factor in that. Like, people say, oh, well. Yeah, well, it's like, well, then I won't go. There's a. There's either that or nothing.

[Derek]

Right. And I am free to say how much these things are because frankly, I get roasted for spending money. But I'm just going to be honest with people and sorry that I spent the money.

[Jimmy]

You're not going to apologize for being rich and beautiful?

[Derek]

No. So $349 a person. I would say if you're a Disney all the time person, go like every five years and get the cunty pass and fuck those lines.

[Andrew]

What do you think about all the children?

[Jimmy]

When I talk about children, I'm talking about teeny weenies.

[Derek]

Well, can I tell you what Disney really is?

[Jimmy]

It's a stroller.

[Derek]

It's a stroller park.

[Jimmy]

It is four of them, you know, but you ever seen the four?

[Derek]

Oh, yeah. I'm late across twins.

[Jimmy]

I got two twins. I got two sets of twins, and we're all going the same speed.

[Derek]

If I had kids, they would be pushing me in a fucking stroller.

[Andrew]

Oh, my God.

[Derek]

I'd have stirrups like. Like a gynecologist. I'd be like, faster, kiddo.

[Jimmy]

Why would you be going like that? Why would you be going ass first?

[Derek]

Well, I'm also looking around, you know what I mean?

[Jimmy]

Because there was so many strollers there. There it was stroller getdon.

[Derek]

It's stroller get in. If you go to Fantasyland, which there is just. Okay, so there I. This is a. This is a lot going on. So I go the first day, the lightning premiere pass. The second day, I got one of those horny VIP guides.

[Jimmy]

Oh, see, that's what I was gonna ask you.

[Derek]

That.

[Jimmy]

That's. They do Six Flags.

[Derek]

I got one thing you could do.

[Jimmy]

They just usher you.

[Derek]

They wear plaid. I asked if I could say their name. Their name was Caitlyn.

[Jimmy]

Okay.

[Derek]

And Caitlyn, I said, girl, here's all the rides I want to ride today. And she said, all right, let's put an itinerary together. Well, also, if you're like, Me and you walk around Disney, you have a million questions. I'm like, when was that built? Who's that? Do you know them? By the time we crossed somebody, mind you. I asked her how many people work here? I said, what, a couple thousand? She said something like 20, 30,000 people would ever work there. And I said oh. Or no, I said a couple. It was a lot. And so that. But then every time we pass somebody who worked there, I'd be like, did you know her? Do you know her? Do you guys have lunch in the break room together? Annoying. But then I'm like, how old is that, right? What's this? And then all this inside tea, right? So then I'm like, I want you to get me on all these rides. And I said, well, what does Ms. Jada Pinkett Smith do? How do the celebs get in the back entrance? I want to enter these rides rectally, right? I don't want to. I want the Jennifer Lawrence treatment. And she said, well, you know, we call it a high profile guest. And that's only for guests where if they like getting recognized so much that it interrupts their trip. So I take off my sunglasses, I'm cheating out. I'm looking for blue hair, I'm looking for neck tattoos, I'm nothing babies. The only people reckon, well, it was the morning, the gays aren't there yet and the girls. So the only people who are there are families. And of course the people who work there know you and I. But they can't say anything right? So they're just like, nice to see you. And I said, why am I in line? You know what I mean? So I'm cheating out. I'm cheating out. Finally, an hour and a half in, somebody comes up to me and I go, oh my God, my experience is being interrupted. I'm not enjoying myself because of my high profile status at Disneyland. And then the guy goes, all right, one of my colleagues saw you get recognized and called it in. So I see here they upgraded you to high profile. So guess who got to walk in the rectal entrance of every single ride?

[Jimmy]

Jada Pinkett Smith.

[Derek]

Walk in the exit and say how many times you want to ride it?

[Andrew]

Oh fierce.

[Derek]

I'd like to ride the Incredicoaster three times and I'd like to walk in the end.

[Jimmy]

But what are you doing there as a grown ass man riding the rides? Those rides ain't shit.

[Derek]

But it doesn't always have to be pulse pounding horror. I like some of the story rides. I like the Chill vibes.

[Jimmy]

They're like. They're like carnival rides.

[Derek]

Yeah, I like some of that. Like, or like the Peter Pan ride, which is the story of Peter Pan. You don't like like Pirates of the Caribbean? You don't like Indiana Jones? Those are like story rides.

[Jimmy]

I like the Jurassic park one because them, the dinosaurs are really scary.

[Derek]

Yeah, that's scary.

[Jimmy]

They were scary. The second one would they do the.

[Derek]

Fake out is very scary. That one is really scary. And Matterhorn, you know I don't like that shit. Well, of course I wrote it.

[Jimmy]

Yeah, the yeti. The yeti hate that.

[Derek]

And then Jungle Cruise, they got the animatronic gorillas too. And I was not down with that either. Sick, sick, sick.

[Jimmy]

I. I like the Jurassic park one because you go in the water too.

[Derek]

Yeah, you go in the water.

[Jimmy]

It's lovely.

[Derek]

Very.

[Jimmy]

It's a good ambiance.

[Derek]

Ambiance. It's all normal until isn't on that ride. It starts out fun and normal and it gets crazy.

[Jimmy]

Yeah.

[Derek]

Same with the mummy.

[Jimmy]

Love her. She goes back in front.

[Derek]

Yeah, the mummy's good too. Too short.

[Jimmy]

They're all too short.

[Derek]

They're all too short.

[Jimmy]

We're gonna wait and you're gonna wait in line for two and a half hours for a 30 second ride. Get up, get out of here.

[Derek]

Well, California used to be California screaming. And now it's the Incredicoaster. That's a pretty long roller coaster. I did that a couple times. That was fun. Fun. It's the one that's like three, two, one, and just launches you.

[Jimmy]

Yeah, love that. That's nice.

[Derek]

Space Mountain. I don't get why everybody nuts for that.

[Jimmy]

It's so. It's like Atari.

[Derek]

So my face in the dark is just.

[Jimmy]

Yeah.

[Derek]

Can't see anything.

[Andrew]

It's not great.

[Derek]

It's not great. But I got to tell you about Star War.

[Andrew]

Okay.

[Derek]

Because I wrote Star War Rise of the Resistance. Fina told me, wait till you write it. It's cunty, but I've never seen Star Wars.

[Jimmy]

Okay. But it's. You literally have to get up. You have to get up and walk.

[Derek]

You do walk? Yeah, it's like multiple rides. Multiple rides within a ride. Easy.

[Jimmy]

To me. I was like, I feel like that's like going to go to the grocery store and buy my own groceries.

[Derek]

Right. But no, Jimmy, you. You haven't ridden it, so don't try to. You've never done. I have.

[Jimmy]

I've been. I've been in it.

[Derek]

There's like so first it's this ride, then it's this. It's like three rides.

[Jimmy]

Yeah, you gotta move. You gotta get up and move.

[Derek]

I'm not gonna.

[Jimmy]

When I get into a ride, you.

[Derek]

Know what I do?

[Jimmy]

I get to sit down and be scared shitless.

[Derek]

Right?

[Jimmy]

That's what I want.

[Derek]

Well, maybe Disney's not for you.

[Jimmy]

It's not for me because I hate.

[Derek]

But is it okay that I went like. It's kind of like you're very Christian right now where other people not being Christian is pissing you off. Because I liked. I liked a weekend at Disney. You're.

[Jimmy]

I'm pissed.

[Derek]

You're mad. I'm sorry you were shitting yourself in your moldy apartment hoe. But I was enjoying myself. All right, so me. Let's take a break.

[Jimmy]

Oh my God.

[Andrew]

This episode is brought to you by Via with their amazing lines of both THC and THC free products. Listen, friends, just like Vin Diesel in the fastest and furiousest franchise, life moves fast. And if you can't meditate because your loud neighbor is watching a Dune marathon and the sandworm noises are cutting through your wall like a crisp knife through a house Atreides soldier's flesh, you need to find a way to relax, recharge and stay focused without making things more complicated. That's why I love Via. Because they actually make feeling good easy. VIA is changing the game in natural wellness. Combining high quality hemp derived ingredients with powerful cannabinoids to create real effect driven results, not just fancy packaging and empty promises. Do you want more sleep? Via's got you covered. What about a little boost in the boudoir? Via can help. Or maybe you just need to chill out because your stress levels are currently at. Punching your dune loving neighbor in the face levels. Whatever you need, Via has a solution for you. Treat yourself to 15% off and get a free gift with your first order. Using our exclusive code [e-mail] V I I A Hemp.com and here's the best part. Via lets you customize your experience with products ranging from zero to high cannabinoid levels. They've got options for everyone. We're talking award winning effect Forward gummies, premium indoor grown THC flower and calming drops. All made with organic lab tested hemp from trusted independent American farms. None of that mystery gas station nonsense. The best part, you don't have to jump through hoops or get some weird doctor's note. Via legally ships nationwide discreetly because let's be real, your nosy neighbors don't need to Know your business. No medical card required, no sketchy parking lot meetups, just straight to your door with a worry free guarantee. I've been using the THC FREE Zen CBD Sleep Gummies and let me tell you honey, I've been sleeping so well that my dermatologist accused me of getting a black market facial and I was like no Aurelia Lunar Tree. It's because I'm getting eight hours of restful sleep every night. All thanks to via Zen CBD Sleep Gummies. If you want to be like me and you're 21 plus, check out the link to VIA in our description and use the code Bald to receive 15% off free shipping on orders over $100. And if you're new to Via, get a free gift of your choice. After you purchase, they ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Enhance your everyday with via. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, some days I open my eyes as the morning sun greets me in my four post bed and I think to myself, what would Leslie Jordan do today to make the world a better place? Perhaps a song, a little dance, a sharp retort that both makes you laugh and think. But even Leslie Jordan didn't have all the answers. He knew when to ask questions or seek support from his community. And that, friends and countrymen, is what I'm here to talk about. In a society that glorifies hyper independence, it's easy to forget that we're all better when we have a support system behind us. Therapy can be a great source of support for anyone. If you're a high powered big city CEO of a baby food company who suddenly inherits an orphaned infant from a distant relative, you're going to need some support. And if you're not the main character from the hit 1987 movie Baby Boom, sometimes you need to shift the focus from doing it all to knowing when to ask for help. BetterHelp can be that support when you've had the worst week of your life at the office. I mean, on one side of your cubicle you've got Lisa from accounting who won't stop hounding you for the expense receipts from the client dinner at Tequila Mockingbird. And on the other side you've got Ken from HR who keeps saying you can't take a bereavement day due to the passing of your beloved pet Cricket Crickjagger. Sometimes you just need a little bit of support to deal with that work stress. And that's where therapy Comes in. Therapy helped me realize that even though I didn't make partner at my firm, I'm good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, I'm a lovely human being. And people like the cut of my jib. BetterHelp helped me. And they can help you, too. All from the comfort of your couch, your car, or even your big city office. You can easily switch therapists anytime at no extra cost. And it's fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient. BetterHelp is currently serving over 5 million people worldwide who decided to get help. So drop what you're doing and access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. Build your support system with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.comball today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. BetterHelp H lp.com bald.

[Derek]

So then I ate a lot of the food. And then, you know, I knew that Splash Mountain was now Tiana's Bayou Adventure. But I never seen Princess and the Frog.

[Jimmy]

Me neither.

[Derek]

So I watched it before the ride so I would know who was in the ride.

[Jimmy]

Okay.

[Derek]

Lovely ride.

[Andrew]

Lovely ride.

[Derek]

It's Splash Mountain with really cool animatronics.

[Jimmy]

Okay.

[Derek]

I thought Star wars was cool. I've never seen Star wars, so I didn't. It was still pretty straightforward what was going on. And I knew, oh, that's a celebrity that's doing the. You know, the end of the rides are like, thanks, Captain. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we made it. And you're like, thanks, Chris Pratt. Whatever. You know what I mean?

[Jimmy]

I'm always wondering how much to get paid. And that's always in their contract when they do one of those movies, because those movies are just money laundering for the rides.

[Derek]

That'd be so fun.

[Jimmy]

Yeah.

[Derek]

What if we had, like, you got to be in a ride, and you got to be like, all right. Don't forget to fasten your seatbelts.

[Jimmy]

Yeah, it's great. I mean, I love the.

[Derek]

At Bryce Dallas Howard.

[Jimmy]

Yeah, yeah. Running. Running. The heels. Love that. Running in heels. Running in the heels. The. What is it? What's the one. The.

[Andrew]

The.

[Jimmy]

Universal. Universal's like that. They have, like the. The. The. The rides that don't really move. They're all video, but they look like.

[Derek]

No, I don't like that.

[Jimmy]

You don't like motion sickness?

[Derek]

Makes you sick. Simpsons. That's. I was going to say this guy coming out and just beating the hell out of you.

[Jimmy]

It's wild. And then you realize at the end.

[Andrew]

You didn't go anywhere.

[Jimmy]

That's wild to me.

[Derek]

And your head hurts. My, my brain is not made to jog around in my head like that.

[Jimmy]

Yeah, I love it. But, yeah, I get it.

[Derek]

I always really like Haunted Mansion, even though that's kind of like a baby ride. I mean, it's not like a thrill ride. I like Haunted Mansion. It was fun. And also, I never go see the shows because normally I'm so busy trying to ride rides. But since I had the guide, I did everything I wanted to do by 4:00, so I was like, I guess let's go see Fantasmic. The, the, you know, the, the water and the lights and the people singing and all that.

[Andrew]

Oh.

[Derek]

So I went to see Fantasmic and I ate an edible. And I swear to God, when the Peter Pan ship I'm watching, I'm like, oh, it's water, it's spraying, whatever. I look over to the right and I go, surely I'm not seeing this. Like, I just was kind of. I had lifted off at that point the giant pirate ship with Peter Pan and Hook and Wendy on it. And I was like, were they really on?

[Jimmy]

It was the Mushroom Land.

[Derek]

Well, it was, it was really them. It was really them, but it was actors, obviously.

[Jimmy]

Oh, okay. But they were real people.

[Derek]

They were real people. Yeah, there's real people. And, you know, who knows if Peter Pan looked young, it was far away. It's probably somebody in their 70s. So I really liked it, to be honest. I, I, I haven't gone since, like, 2019. And I would say that's a good, a good five years. Six years between is lovely. When I first moved here, I feel like I went like once a year because I was like, wow, we're so close to Disney. And I'm like, it. Every five years is good.

[Jimmy]

And they should do a baby night. A baby no baby night. They do a no baby night. Baby, baby. Oh, baby.

[Derek]

I don't know.

[Jimmy]

I think they should.

[Derek]

Small World was closed, which I kind of wanted to see Small World. Just it's a small world after all. And there's like, little puppets from all over the world. You know, we got the girls some stock from Go to Pac Man.

[Jimmy]

Not Pac Man. Oh, no, that's universal.

[Derek]

That's universal. Also, I have had this hat for, like, 10 years, and I pulled it out being like, wow, pack rat me. You're like, pack mouse.

[Jimmy]

You wore that?

[Derek]

Yes, I did. So I was like, I'm going to wear my hat that I've had for 10 years because you know what? I paid for it. And I go, then I go, look guy to look. I have a hat. I said, I noticed nobody else has this hat. I thought this was like the standard Disney hat. And I was like, is this cringe millennial hat? Is this old? And she was like, yeah, that's like nobody wears that anymore. And I was like, okay, perfect. I guess just me then. Well, I guess long story short, I wouldn't say that for me you have to let a lot of years go by to, to re. Re remember what you think Disney's like and then go, I just don't, I like it. I don't know about it as like a real full time hobby to some people. Disney is their real, real hobby. And I, I think that's fine. But I just, after two days there I was like, yeah, I'm good for a few more years.

[Jimmy]

I'm worried. I'm curious about what the Disney gay person thinks about all the babies because I couldn't believe how many babies there were. And that was a real bummer to me because it's a very baby centric, smart families. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Which I mean I think is great. And I think it's wonderful that they have so many stroller options and like it is one of the most ADI compliant or what do you ada, ADA compliant places in the world.

[Derek]

A lot of scooters.

[Jimmy]

No smoking. Very anti smoking pro baby. Which I think is fabulous because that's a, that's, that's, those crowds are very in sync with that.

[Derek]

Well, I also think it's a lot of walking. So the parents who want to walk that much probably are young enough to have very young children. Right? I mean, I mean a lot of the people on scooters were older people, but they also told me you can bring your own scooter there or you can rent. Because I asked, I was like, there's so many scooters. Does everybody bring these? And they were like, oh, the blue ones are probably rentals, but the rest of them people bring. And then get this. I said, do people ever steal the, the strollers? Because I had the guide. So I was like, I'm so cheap. I was like, I'm going to ask you so many questions because if I'm paying you to be here, I'm going to ask shit that doesn't even matter.

[Jimmy]

Like how much baby shit is there?

[Derek]

I was like, so what happens to the strollers? Like there's so many sitting here unattended. Do people steal from them. And she said, no. But for a while, somebody was taking every taking. They weren't stealing what was in the stroller. They would take everything in the stroller, dump it on the ground, and take the stroller out of here and sell it. People are just going to Disney to steal strollers because you could just walk out with the stroller. No one's gonna say anything. And if you're some guy reveling through a stroller, probably like, oh, that's a dad looking for the binky.

[Andrew]

Oh, right.

[Jimmy]

Yes.

[Derek]

But some of these strollers like that, what is it the move or I forget what it's called. That one brand where they're like twelve hundred dollars.

[Jimmy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Derek]

I mean, you could just go resell that on the Internet and make. Well, I saw somebody on TikTok talking about, oh, somebody keeps finding me at the airports asking me to sign stuff. I guess that's happening to everyone now.

[Jimmy]

Really?

[Derek]

Yes.

[Jimmy]

Ooh, is happening to little, little Peter Pan?

[Derek]

Well, no, it's happening. The frog princess, Coco Gauff, this tennis player I love. She commented on it. She was like, this has happened to me.

[Jimmy]

Get out of here.

[Derek]

And the person in the video was like, it makes me feel unsafe. And when you ask how they knew you were there, they give you a bogus answer like, well, we just figured, no, you didn't. Somebody told you I was going to be here on this exact flight looking up my real fudgeing name.

[Jimmy]

I want to know who. Who's the. Who's the. Who spills the beans.

[Derek]

Oh my. You know what? God bless the next person who tries to do that to me at the airport. Because it's on site. It's a complete blow up. They're not doing it.

[Jimmy]

They're going to get killed.

[Derek]

Why don't I come to your house?

[Jimmy]

They're going to get murdered and ask.

[Derek]

You to write your name.

[Jimmy]

Did someone say something about you signing something for me?

[Derek]

Like, I don't. And I don't say this lightly, I love everyone. Get a job, bitch. Yeah, any job.

[Jimmy]

Yeah.

[Derek]

Not harassing people at the airport.

[Jimmy]

Yeah. Get some aviation gigs.

[Derek]

I don't see it.

[Jimmy]

No.

[Derek]

The only thing I like about it is then if somebody buys it online, at least it's a real signature. Because if you Google yourself on ebay, you will find a lot of fake sign shit.

[Andrew]

Oh, good.

[Derek]

Fans paying top dollar for something that you didn't really sign. That feels bad.

[Jimmy]

Yeah, I, I just, I feel like though, in this, in this day and age, you gotta have some street smarts about you. Like, if. If a signature is really, really, really, really that important to you, I'm gonna say I need to see it signed.

[Derek]

Right?

[Jimmy]

Do you know what I mean?

[Derek]

The picture. Well, have you noticed the scalpers also want a picture with you?

[Jimmy]

Yes.

[Derek]

That's.

[Jimmy]

That's crazy. It's crazy.

[Derek]

Yeah.

[Jimmy]

I. I hope that they all get food poisoning. No, I don't. I hope that they do get black mold, though, and I hope that they.

[Derek]

Do have to, but not both at the same time. It's inhumane.

[Jimmy]

Just too much.

[Andrew]

This episode is brought to you by Ritual. Recently, I went on a road trip up the California coast with my friend Laser Star Muffin, who designs bespoke toothbrushes for celebrities. And that's not even the weirdest thing about him. He also claims that he has never eaten a vegetable. Apparently, there was one time his mother stuffed a green bean inside a steak, but he detected the change in texture whilst chewing and spit it out. As you can imagine, his gut microbiome is an absolute nightmare. After the fifth time we had to roll down the windows on the 101 due to the overwhelming odor from his flatulence, we got to talking about Ritual. I told him all about his flora and fauna and how the gut microbiome is key to our mental health, immunity, and, of course, digestion. With Ritual's synbiotic plus a 3 in 1 supplement of clinically studied pre, pro and postbiotics, you can help support a balanced gut microbiome with daily use. For instance, do you know the difference between prebiotics, probiotics, and postbiotics? You may think they're all the same thing, but you'd be horribly wrong. While different, they actually work together in perfect harmony. Deborah? Probiotics contain the live microorganisms themselves, the kind that make up a flourishing microbiome. Prebiotics contain the nutrients those microorganisms need, and postbiotics are natural byproducts that support the gut barrier. I've raved to Laser about how Ritual Symbiotic plus helped transform me from a bloated goblin to the cool, calm and and regular pooping. Gentlemen, recording this podcast ad right now. And it's not just me screaming from the mountaintop about ritual. In a study that modeled the human colon, Synbiotic plus increased the growth of beneficial bacteria and microbial diversity. It's designed with a delayed release capsule to help reach the colon, not the stomach. An ideal place for probiotics to survive and grow. All it takes is one daily mint scented capsule for simple streamlined gut support plus it's vegan friendly and formulated without GMOs, major allergens, animal products, shady fillers and artificial colors. So get your gut going. Support a balanced gut microbiome with ritual symbiotic plus get 25% off your first month at ritual.com bald that's ritual.com bald for 25% off your first month this episode is brought to you by Marley Spoon. As every new year begins, I tell my husband Jeffrey that that this year we're finally going to do two paint the shutters a tasteful teal to match the eucalyptus trees in the front yard and start a better meal routine. And every year I hear about the ugly navy blue shutters from nosy Susan across the street. And our meal routine remains the same mix of hectic insanity. It's just random things thrown together at the last minute. Listen folks, when taking little Jimmy to T ball practice and Jasmine to dance lessons eliminates any free time you have to meal prep. Let Marley Spoon lend a hand. Marley Spoon can help you fast track your way to eating well without all the stress. And with our code bald, you can get up to 27 free meals. As you all know, I hate to cook, but when I do cook, I hate spending hours in the kitchen. Marley Spoon's new 15 Minute Express recipes are exactly what they sound like. They're convenient, delicious, and on the table in minutes. You'll find these on every weekly menu. And if you've got a few extra minutes, they have some great 20 minute options too. My personal favorite hack they're sheet pan dinners. Literally, throw everything on one pan and boom, you're done.

[Jimmy]

It's meal magic.

[Andrew]

My favorite recent meal from Marley Spoon.

[Jimmy]

Was their Express Chili Lime Chicken ball.

[Andrew]

It was insanely easy to make and ready in just minutes. So Jeffrey and I could microwave some popcorn and have plenty of time for family movie night.

[Jimmy]

And if you're really in a hurry.

[Andrew]

Marley Spoon also has Delicious ready to heat meals when you don't feel like lifting a single finger. After spin class, life is difficult enough when it's time to eat. I want it to be easy, fast and delicious. Heck, if I started a meal delivery.

[Jimmy]

Service, it would literally be exactly what Marley Spoon does.

[Andrew]

And the best part? There are times when I almost feel like a professional chef. I look down at the plate and.

[Jimmy]

Think out loud, Ms. Thing, you did that.

[Andrew]

Marley Spoon gives you over 100 recipes to choose from each week. We're talking everything from cozy comfort food like the big batch beef Stroganoff to lighter Options like the salmon and creamy mustard dill sauce.

[Jimmy]

Traybake. There's literally something for every mood this new year.

[Andrew]

Fast track your way to eating well with Marley spoon. Head to MarleySpoon.com offer bald and use code bald for up to 27 free meals. That's right. Up to 27 free meals with Marley Spoon. One last time. That's Marley Spoon.com offer bald for up to 27 free Meals. And make sure you use our promo code bald so they know we sent you.

[Jackie]

Eczema isn't always obvious, but it's real. And so is the relief from EVGLIS. After an initial dosing phase of 16 weeks, about 4 in 10 people taking EVGLIS achieved itch relief and clear or almost clear skin. And most of those people maintained skin that's still more clear at one year with monthly dosing.

[Beth]

EVGLIS Lebricizumab LBKZ, a 250mg injection, is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe eczema, also called atopic dermatitis that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin or topicals or who cannot use topical therapies. EBGLIS can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you're allergic to ebglis. Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe. Eye problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have New Orleans worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with FISS before starting Epglis. Tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection.

[Jackie]

Searching for real relief? Ask your doctor about ES and visit epis.lily.com or call 1-800-lilyrx or 1-800-545-5979.

[Jimmy]

I hope that they never have the pleasure of watching Fargo season five. That I do.

[Derek]

Hope you love her. I watched that movie the other day. We talked about it.

[Jimmy]

Oh, we did?

[Derek]

Oh, I think. Oh, I watched the movie the other day.

[Jimmy]

Fargo.

[Derek]

Yeah.

[Jimmy]

Incredible. Yeah, it's so good.

[Derek]

It was kind of like it. It was kind of poly in the way it presented, what genre it is. It was like every genre was like a little scary, a little funny, a little drama.

[Jimmy]

Yeah, it was. It's. It's. It's a. Yeah, it's so good. And they have.

[Andrew]

They did.

[Jimmy]

You would Love Fargo Season 2 with Ms. Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons. It is so good. And oh, God. In Fargo, season five, she just ripped it up all over it, pissed on it.

[Derek]

Is it on HBO or Max?

[Jimmy]

I think it's FX or AMC plus or it's one of those Paramount dingleberry. I don't forget.

[Derek]

I've been watching some various items, trying to, like. Well, I watched a Princess and the Frog, so I was like, okay, I. I felt. I felt weirdly racist not having seen the black princess movie.

[Jimmy]

And, oh, I'm not up on the Disney ship.

[Derek]

And, well, it came out. Not. It's not an old movie. But then I thought, am I really about to go in this park and not have seen the ride dedicated to the like, sure. So I watched the movie. It was a lovely movie.

[Andrew]

You loved it?

[Derek]

I didn't love it, but I did like it.

[Jimmy]

Okay.

[Derek]

She turns into a frog. She kisses the frog, thinking that she's going to cure the frog, and she turns into a frog herself. It's like Shrek kind of. Frog Shrek.

[Jimmy]

Frog Shrek.

[Derek]

Frog Shrek. And then I've been watching 90 Day Fiance. Every few years. I kind of come out of a coffin and I go, like, I got to catch up. Because I'm not following it season to season the way I do. Like, Love is Blind, where I'm like, the new one's out. Let's go. But 90 Day Fiance, the K1 visa, these people moving across the world with 90 days to decide if they're going to marry someone. It's just crazy. It's just crazy.

[Jimmy]

I don't even understand it.

[Derek]

So this season, I was watching season nine, There is a gorgeous, very surged trans girl named Nikki, and she's dating a guy. He's from Moldova.

[Jimmy]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Derek]

Yes. And he's a personal trainer. And they're so hot for each other, but obviously they're very open about some of the physical incompatibilities they have, because I think he has kind of like, some mental blocks about her body.

[Jimmy]

Okay.

[Derek]

So he's like, I think has feelings for her and affectionate toward her, but has a hard time, like, going down on her. I feel weird whispering it because she talks about it on the show.

[Jimmy]

Okay, okay, that's fine. You don't have to whip.

[Derek]

Oh, that's complicated. Because we're dealing with a language barrier and sort of like this trans amorous sort of push and pull of.

[Jimmy]

Does he know that she knows? And that's. That's the.

[Derek]

He knows. And he. Well, this is what I.

[Jimmy]

So weird.

[Derek]

This is what was interesting on camera. He's fine. Doing huggy kissy, emotional intimacy. But then they talk about having some barriers in the bedroom, which in the. In my peripheral experience, the men usually have blocks with the emotional stuff, but they want to fuck all the time.

[Jimmy]

Okay.

[Derek]

Right.

[Jimmy]

I don't know.

[Derek]

So, like, it's interesting because I think he obviously has feelings for her in the series, but has kind of his own blocks about her, you know, being trans.

[Jimmy]

Then you add to the. The mix, like, the third layer of, like, this is filmed on television.

[Derek]

It's filmed on television, which is. Which is weird because there's cameras around and it shows them in bed, cuddling, kissing. But I guess he has a hard time with that. Just seems so. Like having emotional intimacy on camera is so much deeper than sexual to me.

[Jimmy]

I don't trust anybody who's on tv.

[Derek]

Right.

[Jimmy]

You know?

[Derek]

Well, and that's an element that I like about 90 Day Fiance too. It's like, a lot of these people come from other countries. They maybe are in love and they do want to move to the United States, but they're also an influencer.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Derek]

Like, they are a lot of them wanting to be famous in some way. And then I love when they get into. They do this on Love is Blind too, where they're like, well, are you in it for the right reasons? It's like, what is the right reasons? You're all selling, you know, halo bear hair, vitamins or whatever. So what is the right reason? You're all in the Crest ad. You're all in the T. Mobile ad. What do you meant? Mobile? You know, so, like, what is the reason?

[Jimmy]

What is the reason? What is the reason for the season? Is it mint mobile or is it Crest white strips?

[Derek]

But then there's this guy from Kentucky and his gal comes from, I believe, Panama. So I might remember it, but he's living in a studio apartment with dogs and guinea pigs and his mom.

[Jimmy]

No guinea pig. His mom's.

[Derek]

His mom's a guinea pig. His mom. His mom is. So this is the thing. I've lived at all different Nick. You know, I've lived in studio apartments. I've lived very, you know, paycheck to paycheck.

[Jimmy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Derek]

His mom lives in his closet on a mattress on the floor. Okay, so my thought was, which, by the way, like, I've shared beds with my siblings. I've had four kids to a room. I've done that light. But I was a kid and I wasn't filming. My thing was, wow, to bring cameras.

[Jimmy]

Into your home and your mom is in the Store.

[Derek]

She was like, would you like to meet my mom? And, like, opens the door and she's in there on the floor, on a mattress, on a tablet, like. And of course I'm like, wow. And then. Well, then this is the real drama of the season with them. The real drama was his sister is like, you know what? I don't really know her. She doesn't speak English. But I'm just going to get her drunk because that's truth serum. Drunk. Drunk words are sober thoughts. So then she gets drunk with the girl and she's like, so. And they're using Google Translate, of course. On camera. So. Because nobody. She doesn't speak English. And English, I've heard, is very difficult to learn. Right? Of course.

[Jimmy]

Especially if you're in a closet on the floor.

[Derek]

Besides that, you get your duolingo, you lay back on the floor.

[Jimmy]

Y.

[Derek]

And you know, I just.

[Jimmy]

In the closet on the floor.

[Derek]

So then they get drunk and the sister's like, you know, it's our bachelorette party. And imagine being a bachelorette party in a room full of people you don't know and can't speak to because you don't know English. And so you're just in your veil and your penis necklace just like, while the camera's around. And the sister's like, so I know you think that he tells you that he's gonna kick my mom out, but I'm gonna tell you right now, those two people are always gonna live together. She's always gonna be in your life, so you better get used to it.

[Jimmy]

She's always going to be in the closet on this floor. Ho.

[Derek]

Yeah. Sister's like, she's never moving out. He's lying to you. There, there. He's never gonna cut the umbilical cord.

[Jimmy]

That's his. That's his lover basically.

[Derek]

Snitching on it. Being like, you're about to marry Miss Mama's boy.

[Jimmy]

Miss Mama on the floor?

[Derek]

Yeah.

[Jimmy]

Miss Swamp Thing in the closet.

[Derek]

Which I have issue with Mama's boy as a concept because when someone's a daddy's girl, we don't care. But when someone likes their mom, we hate that. I don't know. Liking your mom is not the worst fucking thing somebody's ever done. Okay, no, but I don't say that from experience, cuz. Val.

[Jimmy]

Yeah, I'm just kidding.

[Derek]

And. And it was just a very. It was a very tumultuous season. So then ultimately, the sister orders a stripper for the bachelorette party, and the husband is, you guessed it pissed. The men love to get the stripper, but if the girl gets a stripper, the men lose minds.

[Jimmy]

You get out of here. So what did. Did the stripper do a little lap dance in the closet?

[Derek]

No, it wasn't involved. It was in one of those, like, party vans. Those, like, party vans. Worse. And then there's Ashley, who meets a guy whose name is Manuel. Ashley's a witch.

[Jimmy]

She's a witch.

[Derek]

She's a witch. So she's literally at the reunion, staging people being like, manuel, stop it. It's really.

[Jimmy]

These people on mentally ill dot com. Well, mental illness dot com.

[Derek]

I think they're looking for love. And I think sometimes some of these people, I'm like, I understand. Like, oh, I live in California and leaves in Seattle, and we make it work. It's maybe direct flights. It's maybe it's international travel relationship. I just am like, with mama on the floor. A lot of them either meet online or one of them's on vacation or study abroad, and they meet while they're abroad. Like Nikki and her boyfriend Igor.

[Jimmy]

Okay.

[Derek]

I'm personal trainer Nikki. She worked. And of course, in Moldova. He's like, you dress too much. So he tries to take her to buy her, like, white linen poplin shirts and like, like, jeans, and she's in, like, a neon bikini with a faux ponytail. Like, I'm not wearing that. It's so awesome.

[Jimmy]

It's so weird. Listen, you could very. If anybody's out there thinking, like, oh, my God, the love of my life is. There's only one of her, and she's in Moldova. I got some. I. Some. I have some news for you.

[Derek]

Do you know anything about Moldova?

[Jimmy]

Nothing. Not. Not one damn thing.

[Derek]

I think they speak Russian.

[Jimmy]

They used to.

[Derek]

Oh, okay.

[Jimmy]

It used to be, like, part of the Soviet Union.

[Derek]

Okay.

[Jimmy]

But, yeah, that. I'm sure they probably still do. But that there's. I got to tell you that there's. There's probably five. Five women in this town for you. Well, that's very town. I'm like, that you live in with your mama on the floor in the closet.

[Derek]

That's the thing.

[Jimmy]

There's probably 15 in your. On your street.

[Derek]

Yeah, it's a lot of Mama's on.

[Jimmy]

The floor in the closet.

[Derek]

Mama's on the floor in the closet. Misbehaving. Okay. So I've seen most seasons one through nine, and it's just really. Wow. Do you know about Muhammad? You probably told me Daniel and Muhammad in the beginning of the series. Muhammad is like, I just Play the audio. I'll just play the audio.

[Jimmy]

Play me the audio.

[Derek]

Where's the phone? Have you guys ever kissed before that?

[F]

Yes.

[Derek]

You have? Are you intimate before that?

[F]

Yes.

[Derek]

You have? Okay, so you've kind of consummated the relationship really. Was there any intimacy after the wedding at all?

[F]

After the wed? Yes, there was. But we started facing a problem.

[Derek]

You know, Daniel's probably maybe Val's age.

[Andrew]

Okay.

[Derek]

And Mohammed is maybe 25.

[Jimmy]

What was the problem?

[F]

I don't want to say. Like, this is very private. Instead of taking care of the problem, she was like fighting with me over it. This is something that no man in the world can accept that. And then.

[Derek]

And what do you think it is?

[Jimmy]

I don't know. I'm riveted.

[Derek]

You know, it's sticky pussy. You know you're acting. Come on.

[F]

And she was like, be like sitting on the floor crying, screaming in front of her teenagers. I want my sex tonight. If you don't give me my sex tonight, I will call the immigration. I will get you deported.

[Derek]

Daniel.

[Jimmy]

I want my sex tonight.

[Derek]

They have a very difficult relationship. And when they do finally get married, he dips to Miami the next day. Oh, it's tough.

[Jimmy]

So they're just looking for visas and passports?

[Derek]

Not always. Some of them are truly in love and are married and like have kids now. And some of them, you're like, wow, this feels underhanded. This feels like you're. You know, what network is behind all this? Of course you know it's tlc. You know it's tlc. You know it's tlc, bitch.

[Jimmy]

Tlc.

[Derek]

You, you, you.

[Jimmy]

Get out.

[Derek]

Can you tell us what he's talking about?

[Jimmy]

He has told people that I smell and I peed on him. Okay, someone's going to jail.

[Derek]

Someone.

[Jimmy]

Look to your left.

[Derek]

Look to your right. And this is 100% of you are going to jail. This is like pre covered this clip. Now it's even wilder on 90 Day Fiance. I love 90 Day Fiance. I love it.

[F]

This person here, she has some stuff that I don't like.

[Derek]

I, I complain about. You know what? I don't even, I don't even want to know.

[F]

Then, then, then.

[Derek]

Thank you very much. Thank you very much for. I want my sex tonight.

[Jimmy]

I want my sex tonight. You give me. But this, the pussy smells so bad.

[Derek]

I know.

[Jimmy]

It's so disgusting. It makes me want to throw up and sometimes too.

[Derek]

I'm not saying age gaps aren't real. Cuz we're in gay world.

[Jimmy]

Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones, baby.

[Derek]

Half. Most people. So many people we know. It's daddy war books and fucking Danny from the Shining on the tricycle.

[Jimmy]

Yeah, yeah. Little Orphan Annie. And then the. The terrifier.

[Derek]

Yeah. And then you and I are the twins. Come play with us. And then we kind of. We kind of put on our gear and have a play session. Do you know what I mean? Kind of like get geared up and have like a play session. Are you guys into playing? Oh, I played with Mina's husband. Have played before. Played is such a weird.

[Jimmy]

Don't like it.

[Derek]

I don't like it either. I'm gonna put on my gear and play headgear and play video phone.

[Jimmy]

Or like what I can put on my headgear, attach it to my braces, put on my Pac Man Ultra.

[Derek]

I'm gonna put on my gear and play. I don't like it. It's. It's really cunty. I. I just love 90 Day Fiance. I have one more thing I have to tell you.

[Jimmy]

Okay, wait, wait.

[Derek]

So I was.

[Jimmy]

I want to share with something. Share us.

[Derek]

Yes, of course. I just feel like we can share clips. As long as it's mostly audio. It doesn't feel weird. Yes. Besides, when we shared Amelia Perez on here, that might be the only exposure someone has to Amelia Perez.

[Jimmy]

That's right. Penis to vagina.

[Derek]

How does it feel to be the person who mounted the anti Emilia Perez movement?

[Jimmy]

I feel very secure in my role as that, but I want to give a shout out to a gay man.

[Derek]

Who?

[Jimmy]

Brad Goreski.

[Derek]

Oh, yeah, yeah, from the Comeback. Why?

[Jimmy]

Because he has. As a stylist. That man is 10 for 10. He's batting a thousand when it comes to his client, Ms. Demi Moore.

[Derek]

He. Sweetie, did you watch Real gaze of Weho? No, baby, he was on that.

[Jimmy]

Oh, I didn't see that.

[Derek]

Baby, he was on it.

[Jimmy]

But he. I'm telling you as a professional stylist to the. To the stars, Hollywood stars, he has. He's batting a thousand.

[Derek]

Yeah, he is.

[Andrew]

Zero for.

[Jimmy]

Oh, or one. Whatever. You know the expression is he has not missed a beat over.

[Derek]

Oh. Means he's never tried.

[Jimmy]

He's 10 for 10.

[Derek]

Okay. He's only had 10 jobs.

[Jimmy]

Yeah, no, he is.

[Derek]

He's.

[Jimmy]

He takes that crank and he yanks it off every time he goes. Yeah, he gets that chainsaw and he cuts off those heads.

[Derek]

Yeah.

[Jimmy]

He is doing so good and she is looking so perfect and it's just been not amiss the Lord's work.

[Andrew]

So good for her and good for.

[Jimmy]

Him and Good for that.

[Derek]

And if you're Demi Moore and you were dressed poorly, wouldn't that be a shame?

[Jimmy]

It would be a shame.

[Derek]

Don't call it ugly.

[Jimmy]

Don't call to come back.

[Derek]

The rest of it is just ugly.

[Andrew]

Ugly.

[Jimmy]

But she's. I feel like he's laying the groundwork.

[Derek]

Does she kind of, like, wear gear? Does she have, like, a puppy mask on? And was she kind of, like, playing? Does she have, like, a harness on and kind of like a cage? And kind of like a cage.

[Jimmy]

Oh, cop cage is at the governor's ball.

[Derek]

What would you do if Demi Moore just showed up in a gay men's harness? And.

[Jimmy]

And I would take this. I would take the shotgun that I have placed right on the little. The table, and then I would put it in my mouth, and I would go, bon appetit. And goodbye.

[Derek]

Hell, yeah.

[Jimmy]

But can I play? I got to play something. I really do.

[Derek]

Play it.

[Jimmy]

Okay. Yeah.

[Derek]

Did you want to play later?

[Jimmy]

Wait, wait.

[Derek]

What would happen in the world if you and I just started. What if we just were like. Anyway, New update for you guys. We just been like.

[Jimmy]

Anyway.

[Derek]

We're just. Anyways. You guys. So crazy. It's like a soft launch, but, like, we've been.

[Jimmy]

It's the weirdest thing ever. Wait, wait, you're one of those constitutional sheriffs? Yes, I am. Defender of freedom and protector of the common man against the tyranny of the state and all its wicked demands. Taxes. Oh, yeah, the social safety net. Well, I'd spit, but respect for the otherly abled, the whole multicultural panoply. Billy has two mothers, et cetera, et cetera. So you want freedom with no responsibility? My son, there's only one person on earth who gets that deal. President. A baby. You're fighting for your right to be a baby. You gotta watch that. It. You gotta watch it. Who is so good? That's. It's Fargo, season five. Jennifer, Jason.

[Derek]

News. It sounded like the news. No, I thought they're, like, libertarian ways in.

[Jimmy]

That's. That. No, that's literally what it is. Like, he's like a libertarian sheriff in North Dakota or whatever. Or he's just like a, you know, the strong arm of the law, and she's a billionaire. And it's so cunty. It's so cunty. Because they're both villains at the. At the start, and then one of them kind of softens up at the end. It's great.

[Derek]

I love libertarians, but I would describe that sometimes as the worst qualities of both things.

[Jimmy]

Yeah, totally.

[Derek]

The Worst. Yeah, it's the craziest.

[Jimmy]

Yeah. Yeah. And she's like. She kind of reads him so fiercely. He's like, so you want to be a baby? You want to be a baby? It's so cunty.

[Derek]

You do want to be a baby? I mean, do you want to be a baby?

[Jimmy]

I am baby, right? Goo Goo Gaga.

[Derek]

You're pooping your pants.

[Jimmy]

Hello, Poopy. And Pee pee.

[Derek]

When's the last time you flat out your pants? Like, full, like, hard turd. Only the. The Roach Motel is like, wiggle it.

[Jimmy]

Out the pant leg.

[Derek]

Like, yeah, Like. Like a summer sausage. Hard summer sausage running down the leg.

[Jimmy]

No, I think it was just. I don't think there's been a hard turd incident since.

[Derek]

Well, yeah, if it's. If it's. Then how are you accidentally farting out a hard turd?

[Jimmy]

Yeah, like, you have to. You're actively doing that.

[Derek]

You're making that happen.

[Jimmy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Derek]

Oops I shit a hard turd.

[Jimmy]

Oops. Oops I it again.

[Derek]

Do you like Hollywood Tower of Terror? Do you like the drop rides?

[Jimmy]

Yeah, like, anything. I like Maximum Impact. I want to be scared. The hell I want to be. I want to be terrified for my life.

[Derek]

It's Guardians of the Galaxy now. Oh, different theme.

[Jimmy]

But that doesn't really matter, right? It's the same. Still drops, same job. Yeah.

[Derek]

Love to drop.

[Jimmy]

It's. It's incredible because you really do feel like you're gonna die.

[Derek]

I love that you crave death. Yeah, it's good.

[Jimmy]

I want that bony grip I got.

[Derek]

We have to go, don't we? We do. Okay.

[Jimmy]

I can't look at that girl the same way.

[Andrew]

I followed her.

[Derek]

Kara.

[Jimmy]

Imagine the grip.

[Derek]

Oh, I know.

[Jimmy]

It's so wild.

[Derek]

Yeah. Do you know our merch says Goblin Head Nation?

[Jimmy]

I guess. Hey, pour one out for the Goblin Head.

[Derek]

Pour one out for the Goblin Head Nation. By.