A Meditation on Fruit Cups and Resplendence with Trixie and Katya

Summary

Podcast Summary

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Episode: "A Meditation on Fruit Cups and Resplendence with Trixie and Katya"
Release Date: February 17, 2026

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Overview

In this riotous and freewheeling episode, Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova blend high-camp humor with sharp social commentary as they sweep through topics ranging from political rage and Hollywood lore to horrifying DIY car stories, mental health, pop culture, and the existential ennui of modern life. The queens dish on everything from the U.S. justice system and “Drag Me to Hell,” to TikTok trends and their appreciation for good TV hair and makeup. With digressions into dreams about canned fruit and the end times, exuberant banter is balanced by moments of vulnerability and cultural critique.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Political and Cultural Rants

• Pam Bondi Dragging (02:39–04:07)
  Trixie and Katya unleash a scathing, comedic tirade about Pam Bondi, the former Attorney General, expressing open disdain for her politics and persona.

  • “Even when she dies, I will be resurrected from the grave posthumously. And I won’t still not forget about it. Pamela. Joanne. Fck her.”* —Trixie (03:56)

• They reflect on the moral failings of political figures and those complicit in regressive policies.

  • “It is not a footnote about you. It is a huge flashing sign over your face for the rest of your life.” —Katya (03:28)

• Societal Double Standards / Authority Figures (08:07–09:34)
  Commentary on government agents being comfortable wearing masks versus public mask resistance.

  • Discussion of authoritarian power abuse and the perpetual cycle of war with fresh players ("Hitler’s right at your table").

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2. Pop Culture & Hollywood Chat

• True Blood Memories and Anna Camp (04:35–05:16)
  Brief nostalgia for “True Blood” lesbian scenes and casting talk—the queens note the strong presence of Anna Camp in horror and Scream movies.

• Movie & TV Hot Takes (26:05–28:09, 53:15–55:14)

  • Disappointment with “The Incredible Shrinking Woman,” bad Thanksgivings ruined by “Emilia Perez,” and a glorification of good and bad reality TV.
  • Gushing about the superb quality of TV makeup and hair on “Fallout,” especially performances by Francis Turner, Walton Goggins, and discussion of Seema from "And Just Like That."
    • “Television having great hair and makeup. Where are you at while movies look like sht? What is that?”* —Katya (55:15)

• The Chris Rock/Will Smith Oscars Slap (22:32–23:00)
  Analysis of celebrity privilege: anyone else would’ve been tackled offstage.

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3. Personal Anecdotes, Relatability & Millennial Angst

• Car Woes and Getting Gas (23:41–24:55) Katya details a near break-down due to misjudging her car’s fuel gauge; Trixie theorizes on the emotional symbolism.

  • “So I’m just singing songs from Sister Act. I will follow him, Jesus.” —Katya (24:04)

• Mental Health & Daily Panic (50:24–51:04) Katya opens up about severe panic and anxiety, her journey towards seeking medication, and the difficulty of accessing health care.

  • “I feel like I’m watching my life from like not my own body. Like I… it’s horrible, crazy. So I have to experiment with some medicine… in about six to eight weeks I can get an appointment.” —Katya (50:42)

• Vulnerability, Gratitude & Drag Studios (47:11–47:52) Both express gratitude for small wins, like a no-longer-leaking drag studio, amid the chaos of life.

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4. Surreal and Absurdist Humor

• Dreams of Resplendence: Fruit Cups & Rope Tricks (45:39–46:53) Trixie recounts an empowering dream of performing superhuman stunts, only to awaken in the bleakness of real life.

  • “It’s the best dream I’ve ever had…Then I woke up…depression. I was like, I don’t have any of that strength. I don’t have any of that flexibility. Ana de Armas is not in my life. There’s no canned fruit in my pantry.” —Trixie (46:53)

• On Riches and Financial Paranoia (29:08–29:43) Playful barbs about Trixie’s supposed riches and pay gap jokes.

  • “No, no, no. It’s like every woman makes, you know, 0.63 of a man’s dollar. That’s me. You know, they pay me significantly less at Netflix and on the pod. They do not. Yes, they do.” —Trixie (29:43)

• Automatons, Delivery Robots, and Ghost Cars (43:03–45:38) They joke about LA’s self-driving cars (Waymo) and food delivery robots with human names.

  • “I think people die, and then instead of Purgatory, they’re driving Waymo.” —Katya (44:06)
  • “Annabelle is remotely bringing someone's chicken cacciatore to their loft downtown. Like, fck you.”* —Trixie (45:36)

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5. Community and Self-Referential In-Jokes

• RuPaul & Drag Race Lore (05:36–05:49)

  • Katya shares: “Listen, I will never stop celebrating the music of RuPaul. And you all can shoot me in the face.” (05:49)

• Show Plugs and Banter (56:01–56:44) The upcoming “Apocalyptic” show is touted, with the queens bantering about Russian-language Selena Gomez covers.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |------------|---------|-------| | 03:56 | Trixie | “Even when she dies, I will be resurrected from the grave posthumously. And I won’t still not forget about it. Pamela. Joanne. F*ck her.” | | 10:00 | Katya | “Sometimes I laugh. Like today I was working at my computer, eight in the morning because the type of panic disorder I have...I just start laughing because I’m just like, what is this?” | | 24:04 | Katya | “So I’m just singing songs from Sister Act. I will follow him, Jesus.” | | 29:43 | Trixie | “No, no, no. It’s like every woman makes, you know, 0.63 of a man’s dollar. That’s me. You know, they pay me significantly less at Netflix and on the pod. They do not. Yes, they do.” | | 44:06 | Katya | “I think people die, and then instead of Purgatory, they’re driving Waymo.” | | 46:53 | Trixie | “It’s the best dream I’ve ever had…Then I woke up…depression. I was like, I don’t have any of that strength. I don’t have any of that flexibility. Ana de Armas is not in my life. There’s no canned fruit in my pantry.” | | 50:42 | Katya | “I feel like I’m watching my life from like not my own body. Like I… it’s horrible, crazy. So I have to experiment with some medicine… in about six to eight weeks I can get an appointment.” | | 53:15 | Katya | “With bad movies and bad experiences, I feel like that Sex in the City, like, nobody’s fun anymore. I’m like…movies aren’t good anymore.”|

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Political/Economic Rant: 02:13–09:34
• Pop Culture & True Blood: 04:35–05:16
• Bad Movie Reviews: 26:05–28:09
• Automatons & Delivery Robots: 43:03–45:38
• Surreal Dreams & Fruit Cups: 45:39–46:53
• Mental Health Admissions: 50:24–51:04
• Fallout TV Analysis: 51:13–55:30

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Closing Thoughts

The episode highlights Trixie and Katya’s signature blend of camp, wit, and candor. Both revel in cultural critique delivered with absurdist humor while offering glimmers of sincerity—especially regarding mental health struggles and gratitude for small joys. Their pop culture knowledge is encyclopedic, their rants cathartic, and their chemistry magnetic. Pageantry meets panic in a whirlwind listen that’s as poignant as it is hilarious.

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Fan Shout-Out (57:34):
Katya shares a touching message from a comedian friend:
“As a podcaster myself, I don’t respect the medium, and as a comedian, I never even laugh. But I listen to your pod religiously and it makes me laugh consistently.”

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For Fans:
If you enjoy incisive pop culture satire, drag queen absurdism, and insightful commentary on the modern human condition—all delivered in a torrent of hyperactive wit—this episode delivers in spades.

Transcript

[Trixie Mattel]

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[Katya Zamolodchikova]

If you're tackling a home project, check out angie.com from roofing to remodels and everything in between, Angie connects you with skilled pros who do such a good job, you might trust them to do other things, like pull out your tooth or be your kid's godfather. Well, don't ask them to do these things. Just let them get the job done. Well, Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust, find a pro for your [e-mail] that's a n g I dot com.

[Trixie Mattel]

Why have I asked my h vac guy I found on angie.com to change my grandpa's trachea tube? Because I was so amazed by how quickly he replaced our air ducts, I knew I could trust him to change Pop Pop's tube while I was on vacation. Make it quick, young man.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Aw. See?

[Trixie Mattel]

Pop up trusts you. I think we should call a doctor. Connecting homeowners with skilled pros for over 30 years. Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find pros for all your home [e-mail].

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Every day when I drive here, I want to jerk the wheel fly off. Cahuenga Pass. And my last was to be Fuck Katya and fuck that podcast.

[Trixie Mattel]

You are so full of shit. This is your only drop of joy in your barren, deserted life, girl. Your life of no joy, no excitement, no pleasure. This is the Only, like, you get. This is the only little drop of pleasure you'll ever receive.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Did you see. Did you see Billy Porter? They asked her about Nicki Minaj. And she just goes, her. And it was the most like, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not her.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But with that whole.

[Trixie Mattel]

He was like whispering.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

He was like, fuck her. And the reporter is like. Like, it's crazy. And you know who else? Fuck Pam Bondi. Fuck Pam Bondi.

[Trixie Mattel]

You want me to jerk the wheel?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Pam Bondi. I swear, fuck. I wake up every day, my eyes open, I look at my life, and I go, fuck Pam Bondi.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know what I had to do this morning? You know what I had to do this morning? I had to Google what is an attorney general. Because I was like, surely it's not Pam Bondi. Yes, it is. Pam Bondi.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The Department of Justice, the people interested.

[Trixie Mattel]

In justice, the attorney for the government.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Crazy.

[Trixie Mattel]

The United States.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Pamela Joanne Elizabeth Bondi.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, go fuck.

[Trixie Mattel]

Fuck her.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Fuck her. I fucking hate her.

[Trixie Mattel]

She is.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Fucking hate her. What a fucking criminal. What a violent criminal. I remember. I don't want to, like, get into it, but I'm thinking about this a lot. People I'm related to, friends, colleagues, fans, all of you who have been complicit or voted for this shit. I will never forget about it until the day I die. You will never be off the hook. It is not a footnote about you. It is a huge flashing sign over your face for the rest of your life.

[Trixie Mattel]

And even when she dies, I will be resurrected from the grave posthumously. And I won't still not forget about it. Pamela. Joanne. Fuck her.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, fuck her. Sorry.

[Trixie Mattel]

She had the idea.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She's our guest today, so I don't know, people. Pam.

[Trixie Mattel]

But she's in the parking lot. In the parking lot right now. She judging her hair and getting. Fishing the dildo out of her.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know how I bet she gets transported? It's a hearse and they carry out a casket. And it's like, Pam and True Blood. When she's like, see?

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, but see, Pam and True Blood would be so fierce on the stand like that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, it's too fierce.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Maybe I wear too much pink. Maybe I love the president. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

She is. Pam. Bonnie's evil.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Pambani's evil.

[Trixie Mattel]

The essence of evil.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We just had Anna Camp on my channel. You know Anna Camp, she was like pitch perfect. True Blood, Reverend Newland's wife. And True.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes, yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I. She would.

[Trixie Mattel]

She. Who would play her? She'd play a great pinball.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She's so amazing. She's in the new Scream movie I'm so excited to see. She plays Sidney's neighbor. That's all she would tell me.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She's a good Hollywood girl. I was like, so how was filming? Did you scream a lot? I was like trying to get any information and she was like, no. But I had to rewatch some True Blood clips because I remember her being on it. Of course. But it's been so long since I've seen it. And I forgot about the hot, tense lesbian scenes when you have Pam and Pam has her as prisoner and she's all like bound up and it's very sexual.

[Trixie Mattel]

Also. Didn't she Jason Stackhouse?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, she.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, I think Jason Stackhouse. Everybody in that show. Besides. Besides, you know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, the sister. He won't me.

[Trixie Mattel]

Thank you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What's his name? Isn't it Quinn or something?

[Trixie Mattel]

Ryan Quanton.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Ryan Quanton.

[Trixie Mattel]

K W A N T E N.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Who would play her?

[Trixie Mattel]

Ryan Quantin would be Ryan Philippe.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What do you think his favorite RuPaul song is?

[Trixie Mattel]

CoverGirl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, but she doesn't. Does she own. Oh, no, no. It's Supermodel. She doesn't own the rights to let's Get Back to pim Bondi.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. RuPaul not owning supermodel. Meanwhile me putting out a cover of it last year.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like I know you can't.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, right. Exactly. I'm nep. Listen, I will never stop celebrating the music of RuPaul. And you all can shoot me in the face.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay, While you're shooting her in the face, I won't shut up about Pam Bondi.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And while you're talking about Pam Bondi, I'm in Brooklyn trying to survive in this economy.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, while I'm still in diaper. Everybody's on C R A C K.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Girl, everybody is on so much crack. I'm telling you, the question of whether.

[Trixie Mattel]

You'Re on crack, it's how much crack you're smoking. How are you smoking currently? Did you just smoke?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And are you going to smoke? Do you have more? Will you be heating it up now?

[Trixie Mattel]

And I would like to share.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is it a double ended bong? And can we put both ends of the glass up our pussies and then.

[Trixie Mattel]

Queef out the crack clouds while on the stand in front of the grand jury? Girl, because my name is Pamela Crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Imagine. Imagine wanting to be in a position of public service, but then hate serving the public.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, well, fierce. So it's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I swear to God, I get better fucking the people at the Store Staples are doing more for America. The Department of Justice.

[Trixie Mattel]

The woman who was doing a tight five while she's bragging my groceries was doing more for her, myself, and for everybody. Every American citizen.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Bondi has or ever will.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

I hate her with such a fire sphery passion and.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And icicles.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

These people.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, it's. You know, it's a thing of, like, in 20 years, God willing, if this planet is still here. It won't be. It won't be. I know, I know. It'll be in diapers in Brooklyn, struggling. But, like, it's just very simple with the masks. Oh, it's very, very simple.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

All of you make fun of me for loving Watchmen. What have we been having?

[Trixie Mattel]

Nobody's making fun of you for loving Watchmen, by the way, first of all.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, nobody.

[Trixie Mattel]

Nobody ever did.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

All of you.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's literally critically acclaimed.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

10 out of 10. All of you hate me.

[Trixie Mattel]

Nobody hates it. Nobody.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

None of you support me. And while you're making fun of me for liking Watchmen, I'm living in Brooklyn, struggling to survive in this economy as a working mother.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, next hearing, you're going to hear Ms. Bondi say, while all you're doing fraud, while all you're perpetrating crimes, I'm in Brooklyn being a single mother.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They're trying to survive in this economy. Not to mention we have mask vigilantes abducting Ms. Guthrie's mother.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Horrible, horrible, horrible. Not to mention people aren't police. People who aren't in the army wearing police army outfits with masks on. But when Covid was here, the masks were too uncomfortable.

[Trixie Mattel]

Uncomfortable. Oh, you could. Sorry.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

These people, these.

[Trixie Mattel]

On the planes. On the planes. They could not imagine going two seconds on a plane with the mask. Everybody's wearing it below their nose.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, look at the mask.

[Trixie Mattel]

Look at these ice agents. They are firmly and fixed to their faces, covering every, like, possible inch of their, like, identifiable face.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yeah, it's fierce.

[Trixie Mattel]

But I'm gonna get shit from wearing a wig.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

From who?

[Trixie Mattel]

Nobody.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right.

[Trixie Mattel]

Pam Bondi in the future.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We're not gonna be in the future. Did you. I mean, the lovely series Fallout is just showing us war never changes.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, humans can't help but.

[Trixie Mattel]

I know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Shitty.

[Trixie Mattel]

I know. And I'm, like, the thing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I. What?

[Trixie Mattel]

My. When I watch, I watch. I try to. I watch Democracy now every morning because I can't. I don't know how to get news from any other outlet that's visual that will send me through A tailspin. I mean, this sends me through a tailspin, but it's just like, it's like the most from what I can gather on. Like, it's, it's just the, the, the news without all the graphics and the crap. The crap. But Mary, when I see that little Ben, when I see the little Benjamin Netanyahu devil at the, at the table, I'm like, you don't see that Hitler. You don't see that Hitler.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They love it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Hitler's right at the table, at your table. They love it, girl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They love it.

[Trixie Mattel]

They're just annihilating the whole population of Gaza. And then they just can't wait to build, like luxury high rises, luxury hotels, cannot wait to build that have their little Riviera on the Strip. The little Kushner fuck face, fuck face.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Queen, queen, queen, fat queen, queen.

[Trixie Mattel]

I just, it's like my blood pressure.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

My blood pressure, my blood pressure, my blood. I just. Sometimes I laugh. Like today I was working at my computer, eight in the morning because the type of panic disorder I have, I wake up early and awake already, heart racing, right? So I'm working in the morning, trying to work on my art, do my little art, and I just start laughing because I'm just like, what is this? Yeah, what is this? What is this?

[Trixie Mattel]

It's, it's, it's the, it's like the rap.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's a wrap.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's a wrap.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's a wrap.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's a wrap.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I have a lot to say to you, girl.

[Trixie Mattel]

I have a lot to say to you, too. I wrote it in Curse if you can see right there.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I watched. I have so much to pivot to. First of all, I have to talk about how I got here this morning.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did Pam Bondi drive you?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No. Pam Bondi, she wouldn't. She flew me the top 20 Pam Bondies will get flew out.

[Trixie Mattel]

Pam Bondi, rot in hell, go to hell, eat shit and die.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Figuratively, of course. I would never hurt another human being.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I want her plane to go down and I want to know about it. And I want to be like Dolores Claiborne with, like, the boxes. You watch the eclipse. Like, I will be outside waiting to watch it. Like, wow.

[Trixie Mattel]

I will be take. I will have the. I want that eclipse to burn my retinas because you're hurting people.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're doing harm. You're using the authoritarian muscle to, to push harm on individuals.

[Trixie Mattel]

And you have. And these people have no moral compass. As, as, like, correct me if I'm wrong, But I believe JD Vance's politics were complete 180 many years ago.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

And now that like, anybody, if anybody's in like, can. Can sense like the spotlight of power or the warmth of it, they get in there and they just flip, girl. And they just flip.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Who looks like an actual piece of shit.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like a huge human come to life turd. Yeah, girl. Turd.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We had a Trixie Cosmetics photo shoot the other day. You didn't congratulate me, but we had a photo shoot the other day.

[Trixie Mattel]

Keep crying, jobless.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We had a photo shoot the other day. And outside that we did on location. Tell me why directly outside this location? There's models, they all have makeup on. They look amazing. I'm there. I'm also trying right outside. I'm talking directly outside the door of where we shot a huge human turd. Like, I'm talking a foot long.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm talking this like you invited me.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Though, but like, it was like a Pringles can, how thick around it was. And Brandon was like, when you walk in, watch out for the human shit. And I was like, ha ha, we're downtown. Haha.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I was like, oh, downtown.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. This is like a preserved fibrous brick.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, it's good to know that. Cross dresser Terror.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Now human. No, no, don't do it, little girl.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's the only. You know what? I should actually, I should email Amy Goodman at Democracy now and see if they can do like yesterday's news with Luscious Massacre's commentary over it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know, because, like, I feel like the only way that I could watch the, the, the footage from these hearings with the, you know, about the Epstein files with Pam Bond is if that has some commentary in real time over it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh yeah, Luscious is Luscious News would be called like Gentle creatures, the gentle dolls. Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

And indict her.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Indict her. Indict her criminal. It's girl, it's fear.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's hard. It's really bad. It's really, really bad. And I, I guess it's. Is it. I guess it was like thinking the other day, it's maybe naive and kind of clue or clueless or whatever to, to just assume that things will get better, that history doesn't have to repeat itself, that it's like the cycle of war will continue just with a different shade or a different flavor or a different color.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right. I think liberals should keep doing this thing where we hold other liberals to impossible purity Olympic standards. I think that's worked out really well and we should Continue to do so.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I don't see any liberals around.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't know about you, Libertarian. Oh my God. Speaking of, I did a quick Google search on the politics of one Gary Busey.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh God. Why?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, because I really wanted to make fun of him and I was like.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think he's, he's probably a libertarian.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, he is a self proclaimed libertarian, but I brought a clip that I have to show you because it disturbed me. Now I have a friend who lives right next to him, so I don't want to say who it is. I sent it to her and was like, ain't this your neighbor? So, but, but I want you to know that kind of gave you a little bit.

[Trixie Mattel]

Of course it does.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I need you to hear this.

[Trixie Mattel]

When I. When I pull out my pookie. Oh, wait, hold on. That's a jump scare. You did not. You did not.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Where's the audio?

[Trixie Mattel]

Hey, it's Gary Busey and I have got a great Christmas present for you. Listen to this. That's what a goose sounds like when they're flying. They're letting you know they're up there. Like you got a bunch of geese together.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That is.

[Trixie Mattel]

That is me you're honking in the air. So that. Okay, we gotta do a TikTok girl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What the Sigma Six Seven Six seven. I gotta tell you something about six' seven. This is just because my. I have little family members who, you know, the nine year old boys love 6 7. Right? They love.

[Trixie Mattel]

And what is, what is the significance of that? Don't tell me nothing. Don't tell me that Gen Alpha is interested in nothing. No, that meaningless nothing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So. But I was on a queerty. Queerty had an article, ask Jake and this Guy said, I'm 67 and I would like to try intimate contact with a man for the first time, but where do I go? And I just commented 67 because he is 67. And I was afraid I was gonna get banned again. Like when I called those whales faggots. Like if anybody wants to know if I run my own social media, watch how often I get banned. One time I was, I was working at TwitchCon. TwitchCon a couple months ago.

[Trixie Mattel]

TwitchCon.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I'm getting in drag and they go, trixie, we're so happy to have you here. It's gonna be really great show. It's just like awesome. I know you love video games. You love Twitch. Are you banned from Twitch? I said, I don't think so. And I was. You were? I was. I'm a Twitch Partner. And I was banned. I was like, what did I do?

[Trixie Mattel]

Bondi is in the. In that. Not getting banned.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh my God, nobody.

[Trixie Mattel]

You're banned at TwitchCon.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, I'm not banned anymore.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay, okay, okay, I gotta fix.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Luckily, when you're at Twitch, I'm like, surely someone in this convention. Yeah, where's Unbanned?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, where's Bob?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Twitch. But it was because I didn't. There's a toggle for when you're DJing on Twitch. A toggle? Like a switch. When you're DJing on Twitch, you have to turn that on so you're not doing musical copyright infringement.

[Trixie Mattel]

Gotcha. But what about my dongle? What is a dongle?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, I said it.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, I know you said a toggle, but it, it brought to mind dongle, which is. I don't know what that is.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's like a keychain. Is it right?

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't think so. I think it's like a thing that it switches a connector for your phone or something. A dongle.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh yes, a dongle.

[Trixie Mattel]

I hate that name.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like the. When you have a computer that doesn't have a USB input anymore.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, like a. Like a headphone to a something Jack. I hate that name. Who came up with that?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Pam Bondi, probably. Yeah, Dingle. Dongle girl on the way here.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wait, wait. So TwitchCon was a success even though you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This was months ago.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay, sorry.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I was just saying I get banned from stuff. Right?

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So that, that 67 year old man saying, how do I connect? I'm interested in connecting. I said six, seven.

[Trixie Mattel]

What about 30? 34 plus 30. What's that one that equals 69? What is that? Do you know what I'm talking about? 34 plus 35 equals 69. 69 is doing blowjobs to each other or whatever. Do you know what I'm talking about?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know what 69 is. Right. It's an Ariana Grande song.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, it's an Ariana Grande song, which is like a. It's like a young person code thing, which seems to me. So I don't like it. Is it because I'm old and like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Gary Busey, they're not having sex. Anyway, my, my pelvic floor therapist, I was talking about how people don't have sex. I was talking about what.

[Trixie Mattel]

So relatable. While you were, while you were in preschool, I was in Brooklyn going to pelvic floor therapy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

While you're at pelvic floor therapy, I'm in Brooklyn trying to survive in this economy. Sorry, for trying to heal my body. No, no, no.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm happy for you. I'm so happy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

My systemic. I'm happy.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm happy that you're no. 6 7.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

By the way, your sister's the one who recommended I go to a pelvic floor therapist.

[Trixie Mattel]

My sister's a veterinarian.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And you're a dog. It makes a lot of sense. She needs to get down here and sew your up because we don't want.

[Trixie Mattel]

You and neutered spade. I like it. I want it. My hair. I bought it. Okay, This episode is sponsored by Quince. Well, another Valentine's Day has come and gone. This year I celebrated in a way that was both brave and deeply taco forward. I spent the evening eating an aggressive amount of Mexican food, alphabetizing my underwear by color and purchase date, and watching Love Boat reruns as research for my latest writing project, erotic fan fiction about Gopher and Captain Stubing. To cap off the night, I decided to organize my closet as well. And I came to a fashion epiphany. My wardrobe is in drastic need of a spring refresh. That is where Quince will rescue me this year and make me worthy of love. Quince is all about elevated essentials that feel effortless. The kind of timeless mix and match pieces that help you build a wardrobe you can rely on. They've got 100% organic cotton sweaters for those last gasps of winter, premium stretch denim that feels amazing on your buttocks, and luxe cotton cashmere blends that feel like a calm, supportive presence in a world that is anything but. These are the staples you reach for again and again when you want to feel like a functioning adult who didn't just fall asleep on the couch during the episode of Love Boat where Jamie Farr and Heather Locklear made out. Quince works directly with safe, ethical factories and cuts out the middleman so you're not paying for brand markup, just genuinely high quality clothing made with materials like European linen and organic cotton that hold up season after season. I truly cannot tell you how much I am loving my cashmere sweater from Quince. It's incredibly soft, it looks great, and it will make my 2027 Valentine's Day feel like a celebration. As Cher once said, love comes and goes, but a really good sweater shows up every time. Refresh your wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.com bald for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com bald to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com bald this episode is sponsored by Ritual.

[Guest Speaker]

Okay, so I just got back from a ski trip with my niece and nephew and truly thought we would be talking about Roblox Riz or who ate it hardest on the bunny trail, you kid stuff. Instead, it would seem that my niece and nephew are super into gut health. Every chairlift ride consisted of my niece saying things like, uncle Brian, your gut microbiome is literally everything. And if your biome is off, your vibes are off. Here is a direct quote from little Mikey during mental health starts in the gut. That's just science. And then as he watched me eat my third donut, added in a slightly judgmental way, digestion is kind of the main character. Suffice it to say, I tried to ignore them. But you know what? They were right. We are learning so much about the gut microbiome being key to mental health, immunity and digestion. And according to these kids, they recommended ritual. So I tried it and it's fabulous. Ritual has you back. Or as they kept saying, ritual. Synbiotic plus has your biome secured. It's a three in one supplement with clinically studied prebiotics, probiotics and postbiotics to support a balanced gut microbiome with daily use. Even little Jenny loves ritual because their stuff is clean, vegan, non GMO, and tested for heavy metals and allergens. Now that I'm taking Synbiotic Plus, I honestly feel less bloated and more regular, which my new nephew informed me is totally sigma. It's just one daily mint scented capsule with no shady fillers and no artificial colors. It's got support that, as the kids would say, is valid. Af, get your gut going and support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual Symbiotic plus, save 25% of your first month at ritual.com bald. That's ritual.com bald for 25% off your first month.

[Trixie Mattel]

So on the way here.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, on the way here. So I drive, driving, and it's actually my beautiful boyfriend's car.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So I drive his car.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, the boyfriend is public.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We. Girl, we did on this pod.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, Queen, Queen. We did. Did we show him?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes. Did we show. No, we didn't say his. Did we do his measurements?

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay, we'll do the measurements later.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, I'll. I'll just show a clip.

[Trixie Mattel]

You guys know it's 34 Chris Rock.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's the clip.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, it's you doing 34 plus 35 you fucking whore.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I watched that slap clip last night in bed. Just. Just to. Just to remember it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What do you.

[Trixie Mattel]

What do you make of it? What's your analysis?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's just so violent.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's a very hard slap.

[Trixie Mattel]

And, you know. Yeah, it's a hard slap that I don't think. It's like, sure, you were offended that he made a joke about your wife's alopecia.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It glares. Celebrities can do whatever.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

If anybody else had slapped him in that room, people would have rushed the stage and done something. Do you know what I mean?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Anyway, okay, so on the way here, you're in a Volvo, your boyfriend's love, Evolvo.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Somebody from Evolvo. Now, it counts down the number of gas you have left. It counts down from 400, whatever, miles to. What I didn't know is, after 40, it stops counting. It doesn't count down to zero.

[Trixie Mattel]

Blinking light that says, you fucking bitch.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, the last few times I've driven it, it goes. The car is like, do you want to go find a gas station? And I say, no, because I have, like, 50 miles left.

[Trixie Mattel]

So wrong. Queen.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I've been on 40 miles for, like, days.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, my God.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Because I thought it was gonna go down to 30 and 20, whatever. And everywhere I go in LA is 45 miles. Like, I'm not going on long trips without gas.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, that's true.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So I call him and I go. It says I have 40 miles still, but it hasn't been changing for days. He goes, oh, you need to get gas in it, like, right now.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I. I really thought I was going to run out on the freeway. Just now on the way here on the freeway, I thought I was going to run out. And I'm like. I'm, like, praying. I don't believe in God, a. I don't know prayers. So I'm just singing songs from Sister Act. I'm like, I will follow him, Jesus.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, I love him. I've always love him.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, I'm. Because I really think I'm gonna roll off the freeway with the car.

[Trixie Mattel]

You'll go from 75 miles an hour to just, like a screech to zero. And everybody's gonna.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I. I guess I have AAA. But I know how I would handle it. I would put on a tight skirt and stand off the shoulder of the room.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, you open the hood, you lean down, you put one leg up, right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And then somebody stops and says, miss.

[Trixie Mattel]

Miss, you're not wearing any.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Did you help with your car? Yeah, because I'm laying on the hood. The hood is open and I'm laying on it and my pussy lips are splayed out.

[Trixie Mattel]

With your French tip acrylics.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yep. Pussy lips splayed out. Splayed out, splayed. And I go, no, I, I, I got gas. So then I, I'm fine. Gas, Just gas. So thank God. I thought I was gonna run out on the way here. I really did.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, you didn't. And that's, that's all that matters.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's kind of a non event, the story.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, no, I think it, I, I think it underscores the most important topic that we've been talking about, which is.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Pam Bondi and knowing what your vehicle's doing, knowing what it says, what it means.

[Trixie Mattel]

So your vehicle literally says to you, mary, we need gas. And you say, not today, baby.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

On the screen it goes, did you want to stop for gas? And I was like, don't tell me what to do. Okay?

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, who do you, who do you think you are? Well, I'm on the freeway. You're in Brooklyn, struggling to me. Who is that woman and why does she have no lips?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Who?

[Trixie Mattel]

The woman who's saying all that stuff.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, that's Alex McCord from Real Housewives of New York.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay. Do you think that we could do a TikTok?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Of what?

[Trixie Mattel]

Of Will. Kathleen. No, no, sorry, Will. Well, that's a given. I'm a little offended because that is, I saw myself too deeply in real. In that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Watched a really shit movie the other day.

[Trixie Mattel]

Which shit movie did you watch? Because I also watched a shit girl. Oh God, here we go. I also watched a great movie at the theater.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You, you got you. When you let people pick movies, you need to, you need to Wikipedia the movie first. You need to see what they're asking you to do.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The incredible shrinking woman.

[Trixie Mattel]

And the woman is.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The woman is.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's Lily Tomlin. Lily Tomlin.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And you hated it. Her husband is a perfume inventor.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And accidentally sprays her with a chemical. So she starts shrinking.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She starts shrinking.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I guess the metaphor is probably that she's like. Cuz it's a lot of commercials. She's in the grocery store. I think it's about like America exposing itself to chemicals and like over consumption. I think that's. But it wasn't that funny.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And wasn't that great?

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I guess the practical effects of her being tiny was cool. I was like, wow. All these real sets of like her on a giant bed.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But I was like, what a shit film.

[Trixie Mattel]

What does she film? Well, that reminds me of, like, what. You know, it does when you value your time, which I do. I think you should do as much research as you can without spoiling something, you know, if you can manage it. But if I had done my due diligence on Thanksgiving a couple years ago, we would never have watched Emilia Perez.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right?

[Trixie Mattel]

And I still. I really can't. I know I've talked about ad nauseam, and I will continue to do so until I die. I like that movie, but I wish you could have been there because it was such a unique experience. We were all watching it, and we. For none of. For many of us, putting. Turning off a movie is not an option.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I agree. Like, I don't ever turn off a movie in the middle.

[Trixie Mattel]

I have kind of flipped. I've kind of. Now it's like, if this sucks, I just walk away. But we were all locked in, and it really traumatized us. It really took us to the cleaners.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Keep crying, jobless.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, it really. It really. It really ruined Thanksgiving.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, then I switched over to. Because I was like, all right, that's enough of you picking movies. Yeah, like, who's you, you boyfriend? So I turned on 90 Day Fiance Betrayal, season 10.

[Trixie Mattel]

But see, that's a series. That's a whole different animal.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, but one is shitty and one is great.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no, no. It's like, okay, so why are you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Talking all my love to lesbian icon Lily Tomlinson? That movie, okay, when I send Pambondi to jail, there's gonna be a clicker with just Emilia Perez and the Shrinking Woman and the Incredible Shrinking Woman.

[Trixie Mattel]

Also maybe, like, what's a horrible series? What's a horrible.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

AJ and the Queen.

[Trixie Mattel]

Aj.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wait, stop that train.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, I do want to see that.

[Trixie Mattel]

We've never.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's a Dragoon.

[Trixie Mattel]

We were glaringly absent from the casting call.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's a Dragoon movie.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How come I never heard about it? Never. Never heard a peep about it. And it certainly wasn't approached to be in it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Listen.

[Trixie Mattel]

As were you. Not.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm a supportive and I be on that RuPaul shit. I know. So, like, I. I'm gonna watch it. You're glued.

[Trixie Mattel]

You got that glass pipe in both ends.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I love it.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, I'm gonna watch it, too. I'm gonna support my sisters. But I never even heard a peep about it. Did you?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't think so. But then Again, I don't know. I don't know.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Trixie Mattel is so rich.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, God.

[Trixie Mattel]

Trixie Mattel is so rich. How rich is she? How do you feel about that? Do you feel exposed? Do you feel like you have a target on your back? Do you feel like you were gonna get kidnapped and held for ransom?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't. Can you grab my computer? I don't know. I can't make sense of that moment.

[Trixie Mattel]

I know. I know what it was. She was deflecting. She took the ball and she threw it. She took the hot potato and she threw it in your lap. And you're like. Because I think that she was about to get investigated by Pam Bondi.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Also, you make dollar for dollar what I make for a living. Why am I rich?

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no, no, no. It's like the woman version. It's like every woman makes, you know, 0.63 of a man's dollar. That's me. You know, they pay me significantly less at Netflix and on the pod. They do not. Yes, they do. She knows. She writes my checks. They pay me, like, maybe 0.63% of what you make.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You are such a fucking liar. You're such a fucking. And you're kind of ugly. Keep crying, like, I'm so sick of.

[Trixie Mattel]

You and you're old. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

While you're researching, I will be so happy.

[Trixie Mattel]

While you're researching, I want to tell you about this thing that happened to me. What? What? What?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I also have to tell you.

[Trixie Mattel]

What.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I got to hire a writer for the Queerties to partner with to write my little banter, you know, because I get to host the Queerties, the only fun award show that exists. It's the most fun.

[Trixie Mattel]

Is it really?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's the best.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wow.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's so fun. It's the. Cause it's all fun, gay, creative people and, like.

[Trixie Mattel]

Fun, gay, creative?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. It'll be like Amy, that trans woman from Jeopardy. Frankie Grande.

[Trixie Mattel]

Matt Rogers.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. All in one room. Love that. But they sent me the first pass of my monologue that we kind of. We were on a phone call, and I was rattling off the jokes I wanted to do, and they wrote it out. They said, let me know what you think of it. I said, first of all, bitch, I would check the spelling on Trixie Mattel. The name spelled wrong in those. I said, you better work.

[Trixie Mattel]

Trixie Mattel is so rich.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's too funny.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, it made me laugh. You know, people misspell Mattel a lot, actually.

[Trixie Mattel]

R, I C K S, Y. Oh.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This is. This isn't coming out. So this is just for your ears on the pod.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, this is the Rebecks.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It picks up. Do we show this on the pod already? No.

[Trixie Mattel]

Mattel is so rich now. She is so rich. Mattel is so rich now. She is so rich now. She is so rich now.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Rihanna.

[Trixie Mattel]

Mr. Worldwide TV Specials and Albums. Albums and albums ornaments. This episode of the Bald and the Beautiful is sponsored by X Program. As many of you know, I am perpetually in a state of quitting nicotine. Last year, I made amazing progress with the help of X Program. There were ups and downs and successes and failures, but with the help of X Program's community of real life quitters and amazing resources, I actually showed up to almost all our recording sessions not smelling like shit. Trixie made sure to let me know that and the number of parties where I didn't have to step outside to smoke. Too many to count. Like I said, 2025 was a year of real progress. If you're like me and you want to quit nicotine, how about joining me this year? Wherever you are on your quit journey, X Program has a plan for you. It's free, confidential and available 24. 7 anywhere in the US so grab your phone and text JOINCAT to 88709 to start today with X Program. Don't let nicotine cravings be your boss this year. Make them your bitch. With X program again, text JOINCATIA to 88709 today's episode of Bald and the.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Beautiful is brought to you by Acorns, or as we call in Wisconsin, Acorns. So the thing is, with money, everything about it is scary. If you don't have a plan, have a goal, have a plan, know where you're headed. And be comfortable taking small steps instead of being anxious about huge steps. So most of the time, we only talk about money once we've made it right. Acorns is a financial wellness app that wants to show a little bit of love to everyone who is on their way. Acorns is a smart way to give your money just a chance to grow. It's easy. You can sign up in minutes and start automatically investing your spare money. Even if all you've got is spare change. You guys, for me, with investments, I'm just going to be honest with you. I waited until other people told me exactly what to do because I. It was just all too daunting, all too complicated. Made me feel confused. Made me feel like everybody took this secret college class in their life and no one told me. Like I just felt very confused about it. And Acorns is all in one, which is great because there's not like a million financial apps. You have to have to engage with this so you don't have a bunch of stuff cluttering up your phone. On Acorn, you can invest, save and give your money a chance to grow in just one place. I love that it's on your phone. Honestly, you guys know all my banking and money things I ever do, I do from my phone. Like I don't ever go to physical banks. I don't really ever have to engage with money in that way because I have everything in my pocket. And with Acorns, wouldn't it be great to have this new part of your future just in your pocket? Sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a $5 bonus investment Join the over 14 million all time customers who have already saved and invested over $27 billion with Acorns. Head to acorns.com bald or download the Acorns app to get started.

[Trixie Mattel]

Paid non client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns tier 2 compensation provided potential subject to various factors such as customers accounts, age and investment settings does not include Acorns fees. Results do not predict or represent the performance of any Acorns portfolio. Investment results will vary. Investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor view important [e-mail] Bold this episode is sponsored by Squarespace. Hello, I'm Henry Devereaux, Supreme Lawn Sprinkler of the Vernal Goblet Fellowship of Los Angeles, a sacred Hollywood social order devoted to celebrating the spring Equinox on March 20th. We celebrate by honoring ancient pagan rituals like dancing barefoot around a ficus tree, chanting affirmations at the sun while holding a green juice, and sacrificing a very expensive sourdough loaf to the winds of rebirth. This year our group has grown too powerful to spread only by whispered invitations at Erewhan, so I needed a website to let the world know that spring will not happen unless at least 12 of us howl at dawn in the nude and release ethically sourced flower crowns to the coyotes in Griffith Park. To get the word out, I used Squarespace. Their design intelligence basically read my aura and instantly built a stunning website that perfectly captured our vibe, which is sun worship, but sort of bright and minimalist and yet also fun. I even set up Squarespace payments so people can easily pay their equinox dues or purchase Ceremonial robes. Using Apple Pay Klarna or whatever app their therapist recommends. I connected all our social accounts, so our rituals stream everywhere at once. And with built in SEO tools, anyone searching Hollywood, Pagan, rebirth, cult, but Chill can finally find us. There's even email campaigns so we can make sure everyone knows who's bringing snacks for the after party and where to sign up for the carpool. Thanks to Squarespace, the sun will rise again. And frankly, humanity, you're welcome. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to Launch, head to squarespace.com bald to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Again, that's squarespace.com bald. I have to just say. I just have to listen. I'm sorry. I have had it with pedophilia. Girl. I'm not. I'm not like, I. Oh, my God, there's something. Okay, maybe because I'm so tiny, teeny poor, have no life chances. Like, I don't understand. It's like I. I'm trying to, like, I'm trying to, like, do the logical thing. It's like, okay, so when you. You ascend to the levels of power and. And you acquire so much wealth and resources that you're always looking for, like, you're looking to, like, the next most. I don't know. You know what I mean?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Why not go to space with Gail or.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no, why not do, like, why not do like ayahuasca or something? Or do like, crazy drugs?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, you know what people should do? Don't do pedophilia. Go get one of those eye color change surgeries. Don't you think?

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, yes. Yeah, and get like, girl, those clips.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, I can't take it. Go to their eyes opening bloodshot red and with.

[Trixie Mattel]

With those color contacts that you and I used to wear. The late 2000s, the eye color.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And it's like. So I went with winter emerald, and it's just zombie.

[Trixie Mattel]

Zombie green resin green with. With like a harsh border, like a black.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And they look in the mirror and they go, wow, is it. Is it permanent? Wow. They. And they're always like, it's so subtle.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I'm like, do you know it? You know what it reeks of? I did this. I did a. I did a whole deep dive on yoga abusers because every yoga guru who's lived to tell the tale has turned out to be an abuser. Big surprise.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, but there was. There was one guy who. I think it was John of God. I think that was his name. It was like a Brazilian guru. Like, not a yoga guy. But anyways, he was on Oprah, and that catapulted him to fame. And he would do these miracle surgeries on people that were hoaxes. And so we would be just like. Like bait and switch sleight of hand things where he'd, like, have, like, pig's blood and do, like, taking tumors out. But he wasn't really doing anything. And I imagine those surgeons are doing this whole crazy surgery, but they're literally going downtown, crossing, buying those $35, just.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Sticking them in there.

[Trixie Mattel]

And they're just sticking them in there.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's. It's. It's really.

[Trixie Mattel]

There's so bad.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I've gone to the. I've gone to the surgeon's Instagrams and the comments on everyone are like, you are ruining lives.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah, you should be in jail.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

People continue to get them.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's so. It's diabolical. Diabolical. They look crazier than you and I did in drag.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's completely crazy because they're just like.

[Trixie Mattel]

Jennifer Smith and, like, you know, Bob Nelson with these insane blue and green.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

28 days later.

[Trixie Mattel]

Or purple. Purple, violet.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Crazy. Crazy. I hope they not only have open casket funerals. That's open eye, open casket funerals. And you go view the body and they're in there looking like they got two cat's eye marbles in their eyes. Like, it's crazy.

[Trixie Mattel]

Speaking of open casket, I rewatched Drag Me to Hell the other day.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Eats, eats, eats.

[Trixie Mattel]

When she. When she, like, is begging to go, she goes to the house and of course, the Mrs. Ganush has passed on in as an open casket funeral. And she. The. She trips and the casket falls on her. The body rolls out and then just vomits into her face.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Vomits into her face, into her mouth. I feel bad for her in that movie because.

[Trixie Mattel]

It'S a great setup. It's a really great setup because you're like, okay, so she's. It's like. It's a perfect real world scenario.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She denied the loan based on the bank's recommendation. Recommendation. So she's. So she goes to hell.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I know it's tough because she's like, she's. She's over. She's qualified to get this promotion, but because of sexism in corporate bureaucracy or whatever, she's like. She kind of is at a disadvantage. She is at a disadvantage. So she chooses the course of action that will further her career at the recommendation of her boss, who then approves what she did, but she gets cursed to hell by the gypsy lady.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Queen.

[Trixie Mattel]

Girl, girl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, girl, can I tell you, Queen, I get it. Like, I, I, I one time went to a Verizon premium retailer, which is, which is not Verizon. It's a Verizon premium retailer.

[Trixie Mattel]

What does that even mean?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Who knows? It's an offshoot of the real Verizon, okay?

[Trixie Mattel]

Verizon.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And they installed my screen protector on my phone and I, I watched them get fingerprints on the real screen and there was a bubble. Oh, and I swear to God, I should have dragged them to hell for that. Don't you think? Getting the professional installation of the shatterproof glass with a bubble in it in your mind, you don't go.

[Trixie Mattel]

You don't do that. It's like when I got. I got a non Apple part installed at one of those, one of those, you know, shady little outlets on, on Melrose. And then every time you open your phone, it says, there is something in this phone that should not be here. Do you know I'm talking about.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, terrible. Girl, I. Wait, wait, wait, wait. This computer.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did you see Send help?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, I highly recommend. You don't have to go to the movies.

[Trixie Mattel]

I know, I know, I know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm not going to the movies.

[Trixie Mattel]

I know, I know, I know, I know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But this is. I'm $375 to go to the movies.

[Trixie Mattel]

What if Pam.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She's watching movies.

[Trixie Mattel]

She's watching porn like she usually does while we're doing our pod. Our producer, lesbian producer, by the way, is watching lesbian porn.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This computer is like five years old. And I'm building my, my, my show for tour this year for all the music festivals. And I am too stupid to learn how to transfer all of this to a new computer and. But desperately afraid that my computer will die on the tour.

[Trixie Mattel]

What about a cloud?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Blowing clouds.

[Trixie Mattel]

What about the icloud?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't want to be ignorant, but if I buy a new computer, can they just magically copy this computer into a new computer? Course they can. Of course. Without me having to install everything. My beat, my DJ library, everything. My music library.

[Trixie Mattel]

Have you ever had a phone? Have you gotten a new phone? Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, never.

[Trixie Mattel]

You're still using the corded one that connects to your wall?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yep. Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know all this.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know what I think about every time I get gas? People who drive away with the thing and the thing. How do you do that?

[Trixie Mattel]

Easy. The same way that you pull up to the gas station on the wrong side and then you get back in your car and you drive around, you still do it again. How about that? I did it twice fierce. Packed, packed gas station, by the way. Only one spot. Only one spot open. So I go to that one like, it's the wrong side, girl. Then people disperse. I drive around. Wrong side again.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Should I just go home? I also have this question. How do they get gas in the waymos?

[Trixie Mattel]

Who's they?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The ghosts who drive them. Like, I don't know.

[Trixie Mattel]

They're electric.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What's crazy is there was two of them around me the other day. There was one in front of me and one behind me, and I was driving, and I weirdly, like, wished one would crash into me so I could, like, be on the news and be, like, crazy, you know? Like, that would be awesome. Yeah. But I also was like, I trust them driving more than a gay person I know.

[Trixie Mattel]

Or more than.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think it's a ghost.

[Trixie Mattel]

7.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, I think it's a ghost.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think people die, and then instead of Purgatory, they're driving way mo. I don't think it's robotics.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think you're absolutely right. I think that's the most logical.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Are they completely automated, or is somebody driving it remotely?

[Trixie Mattel]

No, somebody's not driving it remotely. That's crazy, because they'd be texting too. Well, remember, you know those little robot. This is, like, so crazy. I don't know if people have them in their cities, but we certainly do have them in Los Angeles. These delivery robots. Oh, yeah, that make me violent. No, girl, me.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, they make me laugh. The names are too funny.

[Trixie Mattel]

Annabelle?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No.

[Trixie Mattel]

Brandine. Brand.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You would think they'd be like, beep boop. Or.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah. Or C3PO. Yeah, C3B hug.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Brenda.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Kelly, your food is here.

[Trixie Mattel]

Kelly is installed on. On La Brea. She keeps circling the drain.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, and you know, the people will figure out how to crack these open and suck the innards out like a shell.

[Trixie Mattel]

But what innards do they want?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Maybe there's McDonald's in there delivering food.

[Trixie Mattel]

I. So, okay, all the. All the technology, all the technological advancements in the world, and this is one of them. Certainly a pretty impressive one. But as far as I'm. As far as I'm aware, there's somebody actually remotely, you know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, it's not. Is somebody driving it?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes. What? Yes. In, like, Delhi or some. Or like, some at the Delhi? No, no, in Delhi, India. So these little things. I still have to flush my turds, but Annabelle is remotely bringing somebody's, like, chicken cacciatore. To their loft downtown. Like, fuck you. Fuck you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's crazy, right?

[Trixie Mattel]

That's crazy. I hate it. Anyways, wait. Can I tell you about this dream I had? Yeah, okay, I know it's so who cares? But I had, you know, all the, like, the tropes of a nightmare. You're powerless, you're unprepared. You're making a presentation. You don't know what it is. You're on stage, you need a curse. Naked at school. Didn't have your homework. Didn't do the whatever. I had the opposite thing. Literally every nightmare trope is turned around and, like, I was over prepared. I didn't. I was on stage and I didn't. My body realized I was doing a show. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't remember the routine, but I just did it magically. Ana de Armas was there with me. We were doing tango, salsa, and, like, dancing together, eating canned fruit. And then. And then at one point, I had so much physical strength and flexibility. I was doing this whole routine on a rope where I would, like, I would have my legs splayed out 180, and I was just using my arms to, like, climb up the rope. And then I would. At the top, I would let it go and, like, fly down to the end. And right before. An inch before the ground, I would catch it and then stay in a split. It was incredible. I woke up. It was like the best dream I've ever had.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This isn't a nightmare.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no, no, no. It's the opposite of a nightmare. It's the best dream I've ever had.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right.

[Trixie Mattel]

So. But then I woke up. Unlike, you know, when you wake up from a nightmare, like, oh, thank God that didn't happen. It was the opposite depression. I woke up to a nightmare depression. I was like, I don't have any of that strength. I don't have any of that flexibility. Ana de Armas is not in my life. There's no canned fruit in my pantry. Yeah, it was really sad.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I have some gratitude.

[Trixie Mattel]

You do?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

My studio. My drag studio. No, it doesn't have mold.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, same.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They resealed the. The roof of the building. No longer. The building does not leak when it rains. I have one. One place to go where rain will not get in.

[Trixie Mattel]

We have a dry spot in the city.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm at the point where when it rains, I have anxiety.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, well, it rained. But it didn't just rain the other day. It was a torrential down. It's a waterboarding yeah, it was actually. I was. I had PTSD because I was like, under normal circumstances with my Swiss cheese roofed house.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Burlap.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cheesecloth.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Cheesecloth.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm like, while it's a wrap, not Mary. We were dry that night.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Love it.

[Trixie Mattel]

We were dry.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Thank God. Yeah, thank God. I have to tell you. Did you see this clip of. Did you see Black Phone? We talked about black Phone too.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, but I watched. I watched clips online about the. On the. The ice, which I found riveting. Was he a ghost?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, he. It was super catholic. It was weird. Oh, who's the guy who plays him?

[Trixie Mattel]

It's the grabber.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Ethan Hawke. Yeah. I believe Ethan Hawke is talking to Sydney. Sweet, simply sweetie sweep. And she was like, I just. I always have germs. She was like, what did she say? She was like, I just have. He was like, do you do a lot of stage work? And she was like, oh, I was just looking for the house starch frat. She kind of talks like that, you know.

[Trixie Mattel]

Dude, that's a good bridge line.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. James A. Passed on from generation. That is it, I think. But she was like, I have stutch fraud. And he was like. And he was like, well, you know what that is?

[Trixie Mattel]

What?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's an experience.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I said that to her and she was just like.

[Trixie Mattel]

Damn. Simply sweepy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I just always thought if you're an on camera person. I didn't think on camera people would get stage fright.

[Trixie Mattel]

Of course they do. Everybody gets stage fright. Barbra Streisand used to get it so much that she had to take pills. Barbra Streisand.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I feel like I have less anxiety on stage than I do in the rest of the day.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, did you watch that? I'm sure you didn't watch that clip with the new editor in chief of Vogue and Anna Wintour.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No.

[Trixie Mattel]

And they asked her, do you get nervous? She's like, I don't get nervous.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's great.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think it's a lie, but I think it's a good lie.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I really admire those people. Yeah, I really admire those people. Really admire.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, in regard to stage fright and nervousness, my. One of my teachers in school said the best preparation against stage fright is preparation.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Honestly, like, how are you gonna get nervous if you know what you're doing?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah. Sometimes I get nervous. You know what it is the excitement of. I'm about to enjoy this. That upper feeling.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Combines with a little bit of nerves and it feels like a lot of nerves. But always in retrospect, I'm like, half of that is good excitement.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Yeah. It's not all bad because it's a, it's a, it's a high octane experience you're about to have. Right. Also, do you get yawns? Do you get tired when you get that? Happens to me a lot. Like if I'm nervous.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh yeah. If I'm nervous before I start yawning. And it's a thing. Yep, it's a thing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I have this thing where I've like panic all day and then at a certain point my system gives out and.

[Trixie Mattel]

I get really tired, just shut down.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I get really tired all the time.

[Trixie Mattel]

I mean, if you're operating at like a, at a 12, if you're humming, if you have a background hum at a 12, your body's gonna just shut down. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

If we could be vulnerable for a second. I have been having to pursue perhaps medicine help.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Because the panic has been so consistent. Really so consistent. So bad. So regular first thing in the morning, off and on all day in like.

[Trixie Mattel]

Anti anxiety medication to the point where.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I feel like I'm watching my life from like not my own body. Like I like. It's like, it's horrible, crazy. So I have to experiment with some medicine. I've talked to two doctors who were too busy to see me.

[Trixie Mattel]

Love it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So I've got passed on to a third and luckily in about six to eight weeks I can get an appointment. But you know, it's nothing compared to the dermatologist.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, you're, you're. If you make an appointment, your child will be able to see them. Like literally generational trauma.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Literally. Did you finish Fallout?

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, yeah, I finished it ages ago.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh. I just. The last episode was like two weeks ago.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, there's a new season.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, it's season two.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, I didn't know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I just, I don't know anybody in it. I do. I don't know the makeup artists personally. We're friends. While you're over there being friends with them, I'm in Brooklyn trying to survive this economy. I just want to say, at a time where like human experience scares me, the world scares me. Humans and their nature and their violent nature scares me.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This show giving us this not too distant or not too unbelievable impression of the destruction to come and how the fallout of that would be is ripe. And I hate like right on time, but like now more than ever. But it just is very beautiful show to watch.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I've been playing those games for 15 years, those Fallout Games. So I know the world very well, and I had no expectation that I would love the show as much as.

[Trixie Mattel]

I do Walton Goggins.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Walton. He eats. Yeah, yeah, he eats.

[Trixie Mattel]

Walter, there's no nose. Have an ass.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

He also ate in Righteous Gemstones.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

On his character. Uncle Baby Billy.

[Trixie Mattel]

Uncle Baby Billy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Love it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Also, the woman who played Seema on the show and just like that, eats in Fallout season one, she surely does. She plays a character who then, it turns out, has another motive. She turns out to be a villain. Fierce.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is it Barb?

[Trixie Mattel]

It's the woman. She looks like South Asian. She's a. I can't remember what her character's name is in Fallout, but she's a leader.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, I know. You're talking about Gorgeous.

[Trixie Mattel]

Gorgeous and incredible.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Really, really, really turned the party in this series. Unlike in Just like that, which nobody could turn the party because there was.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No party to be turned.

[Trixie Mattel]

No party. Yeah. They participated in that debacle.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Where she turned it in this show, I feel like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I feel like. With bad movies and bad experiences, I feel like that Sex in the City, like, nobody's fun anymore. I'm like.

[Trixie Mattel]

I just.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Movies aren't good anymore.

[Trixie Mattel]

New York is dead.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right.

[Trixie Mattel]

And she just falls and dies.

[Guest Speaker]

Love that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There is an actress in Fallout that I have been thinking about pretty much every hour. Her name is Francis Turner, and she plays Walton Goggin's wife who works at Vault Tech.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, I definitely would know her face.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She works at Vault Tech.

[Trixie Mattel]

Vault Tech.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Perhaps the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

[Trixie Mattel]

Pull her up, please.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Just beautiful. And the hair and the makeup they do on her in the show is so bewitching, and her performance is so beautiful and good that I, like, look forward to every scene she could be in.

[Trixie Mattel]

What's his name? Oh, God. Kyle McLaughlin.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Eats, eats, eats. I met him. Britney was throwing an event for her pod. There she is.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, gosh.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The teeth, the lashes, the hair, the skin.

[Trixie Mattel]

Something else.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She was also in the Boys. Ah, she was in the Boys.

[Trixie Mattel]

Who did she play in the Boys?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I forget.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But I believe it's in this season, so I don't want to spoil. But maybe it's in the first season, the reveal that Vault Tec is evil. Well, Vault Tec is evil because corporations are evil. But the reveal that she is kind of one of the hands that pushes forward the bombs dropping. Yeah. Because she's like, I know humans. Humans are gonna do it, so we might as well do it. And that way we can control what happens after. She's a mom.

[Trixie Mattel]

She a momager.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She has a daughter. And so she's like, well, if I can control when these bombs fall and secure that my daughter can be safe in a vault when it happens. She basically is instrumental in the bombing because she wants to make sure that if the bombs are gonna. I don't know. It just broke my heart that just her character in the whole. I just can't wait to see what happens.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, don't make me wait. Don't skimp on the quality of the show. But could you make it in like a week or two?

[Trixie Mattel]

Could you have it ready tomorrow morning? Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Could you just hurry up and make. And the makeup. The makeup artistry on the ghoul. This missing nose with the skit. Like, yeah. Television having great hair and makeup. Where are you at while movies look like shit? What is that?

[Trixie Mattel]

She. Well, you're not going to the movies, Mary. How do you know? Boop. Manager, momager. Lover of Christ, lover of life. That's me.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Can you believe that?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes, I can. And I will do that on my TikTok once I learn how. Yeah, and I want us to do a TikTok together. Do you know it's the Catherine Tate 1 from 75,000 years ago.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Whale.

[Trixie Mattel]

Cath. No, Whale. Rosemary.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Whale.

[Trixie Mattel]

Kathleen. You know he's a gay monarch. Know that one?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, but I'll learn it for you.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay. It's great. We'll have a good time. And I'm sure.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I used to do drag. I used to memorize spoken word lip syncs.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm gonna. I'm gonna, like, latch onto that Gary Busey one. Put it in every mix.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I do from now on tonight at Apocalyptic. Okay, bye. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Why don't you plug the show that's tonight so people can get tickets Also, the abrupt.

[Trixie Mattel]

The abrupt. Yeah, we're having a. By the time this airs start today. By the time this airs, you will have about two weeks left to buy some tickets to the show that's happening on February 12th of 2026. It's called apocalyptic, which is such a great show name.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's great.

[Trixie Mattel]

End of the world Fallout.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Doing a riveting number by Selena Gomez. Not her voice, but a cover of her in Russian. Can't wait to do it. Don't know the words. Hopefully we'll buy tonight. Thank you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, my God. Okay, bye.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wait, wait, wait. One last thing. We're about to end the show now, so get ready. Here we go. Three Two, one, Goodbye.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Bye.

[Trixie Mattel]

Because it's too abrupt when we end. I've been listening to the pod.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know we kind of do just.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's like. It's like somebody's. It's like my teacher yanking the cord out of the wall.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Can I ask the group and the audience here? I like when pods sometimes at the end will share a lovely comment from a fan. Or that's how, you know, we do that.

[Trixie Mattel]

Maybe we'll do a ding sound so that, you know, you have, like, 10 minutes to exit the building before it blows up.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, it'll be behind a paywall.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, yeah, all the. All the content leading up to it will be trash.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

If you want the goodbye section, it'll be in the paywall. People will pay just to hear the goodbyes.

[Trixie Mattel]

And it's so good. It's so unforgettable. So do the ding. And then. And then. Were you going to share something? A comment?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know what? I do have a good comment. I. You know, this is more organic. I got this text today. I don't want to embarrass her, so I won't say her name, but she's a. But say her. She's a comic and she said a belated congrats on 250 episodes. As a podcaster myself, I don't respect the medium, and as a comedian, I never even laugh. But I listen to your pod religiously and it makes me laugh consistently. That is.

[Trixie Mattel]

That is. That is unironically.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

As a podcaster, I don't respect the medium. Love it.

[Trixie Mattel]

I agree. And as a comedian, I never love, love, love, love. That's actually. That's really touching praise. Thank you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, and next week, I want to tell you all about the Plastique and Nymphia show I saw last night.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, I. I didn't go.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, you did. I heard that you requested tickets and didn't show.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no, no, no, no. I was offered tickets. I accepted them, and then I sent my regrets in. Thank you very much. Okay, goodbye.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Bye. Why have I asked my electrician I found on Angie.com to bury my pet hamster Nibbles in our yard for me? Because I was so moved by how carefully he buried my electrical wires, I knew I could trust him to bury my sweet Nibbles after his untimely end. Huh? Nibbles gone too soon. May he scurry in peace.

[Trixie Mattel]

Hey, sorry about your pet, but I just wire stuff.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Nibbles would have loved you like a brother. Connecting homeowners with skilled Pros for over.

[Trixie Mattel]

3:30 years, Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find pros for all your home [e-mail] Monster Energy everybody knows White Monster Zero Ultra. That's the OG it kicked off this whole zero sugar energy drink thing, but Ultra is a whole lineup now. You've got Strawberry Dreams, Blue Hawaiian Sunrise, and Vice Guava. And they all bring the Monster Energy punch. So if you've been living in the white cans, branch out. Ultra's got a flavor for every vibe, and every single one is Zero Sugar. Tap the banner to learn more.