Book a Ride with Beyonce's Balloons Today! with Trixie and Katya

Summary

Episode Summary: "Book a Ride with Beyonce's Balloons Today!"

Release Date: June 17, 2025

Hosts: Trixie Mattel & Katya Zamolodchikova

---

1. Addressing Current Events in Los Angeles ([02:25] - [04:44])

Trixie and Katya begin the episode with a heartfelt message addressing the escalating tensions and recent atrocities occurring in Los Angeles. They express their concerns about the actions of ICE, referring to the organization as a "domestic terrorist organization" and denouncing the aggressive enforcement tactics being employed.

Notable Quote:

Katya Zamolodchikova ([03:24]): "I think that ICE is a domestic terrorist organization. ... Why do they look like a militia?"

2. The Importance of Humor Amidst Chaos ([04:18] - [04:44])

Despite the heavy topics, the duo emphasizes the significance of maintaining levity and humor. They highlight their role in providing relief and making listeners laugh, asserting that humor is their most substantial cultural contribution.

Notable Quote:

Trixie Mattel ([04:29]): "It's relief."

3. HBO Max Rebranding and Reactions ([04:47] - [07:07])

Trixie and Katya delve into the recent rebranding of HBO Max back to HBO Max, expressing their frustration with the constant name changes. They humorously critique the lack of clarity and the confusion it causes among viewers.

Notable Quote:

Trixie Mattel ([05:02]): "And now we can say it without people correct. It's actually Max."

4. Experiences with Hot Air Balloons in Mexico City ([22:44] - [36:35])

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to recounting Trixie's adventurous trip to Mexico City, which included a hot air balloon ride. She narrates humorous and chaotic moments, such as her friend Claire's bout with diarrhea that jeopardized their balloon experience.

Notable Quote:

Trixie Mattel ([25:13]): "You look up and see a white ass just shitting like. No. You know what I mean?"

They also explore cultural and historical insights about Mexico, reflecting on ancient structures and indigenous histories.

Notable Quote:

Katya Zamolodchikova ([35:57]): "The Mayans and the Aztecs, are they contemporaries or...? No."

5. Beyoncé's Concert Experience ([55:26] - [62:41])

Towards the end of the episode, Trixie shares her transformative experience attending Beyoncé's concert. Initially indifferent to Beyoncé's music, the performance deeply moved her, leading to a newfound admiration and emotional response.

Notable Quote:

Trixie Mattel ([56:47]): "She put one heel on the dresser on the red states, and the other heel on the dresser in the blue state, and she shits everybody. It's fierce."

6. Discussions on Reality Television and Media ([46:10] - [48:05])

The hosts engage in a conversation about reality TV shows, specifically mentioning Nathan For You and comparing its ethical boundaries to traditional reality television. They debate the authenticity and potential exploitative elements of such programs.

Notable Quote:

Katya Zamolodchikova ([47:30]): "But reality television is never projecting a squeaky clean image."

7. Reflections on Cultural Representation and History ([34:16] - [36:35])

Trixie and Katya examine how Mexico acknowledges its indigenous heritage compared to the United States. They critique the superficial treatment of historical narratives and the erasure of indigenous contributions.

Notable Quote:

Trixie Mattel ([35:10]): "We act like American history started in 1492."

---

Conclusion

In this episode of The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya, the hosts seamlessly blend humor with critical social commentary. From addressing pressing issues in Los Angeles and reflecting on cultural histories to sharing personal travel mishaps and transformative concert experiences, Trixie and Katya offer listeners a rich tapestry of discussions that are both entertaining and thought-provoking.

Transcript

[Trixie Mattel]

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[Katya Zamolodchikova]

With a Venmo debit card, you can.

[Trixie Mattel]

Venmo more than just your friends. You can use your balance in so many ways. You can Venmo everything.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Need gas? You can Venmo this.

[Trixie Mattel]

How about snacks? You can Venmo that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Your favorite band's merch?

[Trixie Mattel]

You can Venmo this or their next show? You can Venmo that. Visit Venmo Me Debit to learn more.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You can Venmo this or you can Venmo that. You can Venmo this so you can Venmo that.

[Trixie Mattel]

You can Venmo.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp bank in a pursuant to license.

[Trixie Mattel]

By MasterCard International, Inc. Card may be used everywhere. MasterCard is accepted.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Venmo purchase restrictions apply.

[Trixie Mattel]

Craftsman days are here at Lowe's with.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Big savings on the tools you need right now. Get a free select tool when you buy the Craftsman V22 pack battery kit. Whether it's the backyard, the bathroom or beyond, Craftsman has the tools to help you power through and get the project done right because diying is unpredictable.

[Trixie Mattel]

But your tools shouldn't be.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Shop Craftsman at Lowe's today. Valid through 618. Wall supplies last selection varies by location. The Bald and the Beautiful Live is coming to a city near you this year. There's only a few more chances to see us live, so don't miss out on the following cities starting now. So we're coming to Canada on October 3rd in Calgary at the Southern Jubilee Theater, and on October 4th we're in Winnipeg at Club Regent, Tucson, Arizona. November 9th, the Linda Ronstadt Theater, of course. Linda Ronstadt, writer of Blue Bayou, one of my favorite songs. Thank you very much. And on November 13th, our asses are wiggling over to Honolulu. What's my favorite Hawaiian island? Come on, I want to lay you. Tickets are available at trixie and kati.com hey broke ass. I'm also broke, so I can say that if you need a pre sale code, it's Bald B A L D. All right, you. Hi everybody. This is a little. What do you. What would you call this?

[Trixie Mattel]

This is A little special put in.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah. This little message. Because we feel that we can't really. While we're not a political podcast, we can't ignore what's going on in Los Angeles right now, which is scary. Really fucked up and not great.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Because we pre taped the show. You might not ever really hear us talk about something that's happening. Right. Right now.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. So we just wanted to make a special exception because we live right in the middle of these atrocities and it's awful. And we. Where. We love you. Los Angeles, a place where everybody's from everywhere. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's crazy here. It's super scary. I. I think that ICE is a domestic terrorist organization. I don't. Because it is. It is. I mean, why do these people. Why are they. Why do they look like a militia? Why were they covering their faces? Why are they. Are they ashamed of their behavior? They're deplorable, despicable. Like criminal behavior.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like the fuck.

[Trixie Mattel]

I.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Also crazy.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know, I watch 28 hours of news a day, and right now they keep saying that they are supportive of peaceful protests, but I'm like, all right, you're shooting reporters.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Did you see the fucking Australian reporter? Like. And the guy was like this.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Boom.

[Trixie Mattel]

Then there was another reporter who. They're. They have their credentials and they're barely letting them in. Then I saw in the news today that one of the highways where they knew the overpass was people with signs. They shut down the highway because they don't want anyone to see the protest. And they are. They are saying that they're supportive of protests, but also calling it unlawful assembly.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And detaining everyone in Insurrectionists.

[Trixie Mattel]

The. When I heard Ms. Thing say insurrectionists, the January Six people are what, getting pardoned? Girl. Just. You know, Katie and I live right in the middle of Los Angeles, and it's horrible, and I'm sorry. And look out for yourselves.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This is not a political podcast.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's not.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And. And we. I think that we talked about this earlier. That. I think that. I think that our. Our most significant contribution to the culture, as it were, is. Is levity and humor.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's calling my own body Greek yogurt.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's, you know, it's puts these tits in a little. Tish. Little ass. Little cut. Cut.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know, but. And it's relief.

[Trixie Mattel]

It is. Los Angeles is a beautiful place full of people from everywhere.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

But we're going to do our job, which is make you laugh.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So, yeah, we're going to talk about pee pee and Poo Poo now.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay, how can we not start this pod by talking about how HBO Max went back to HBO Max. Max is HBO Max again. For. For two years I've been saying watch Trixie Motel on HBO Max. People go, well, it's actually Max now. And I go, oh, I'm sorry. And now these bitches have the nerve to say, never mind. We are here. We. You said we were.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Honey, I've only like. I'm almost halfway to the point where I've like re acclimated to searching for the other app on my thingy, right?

[Trixie Mattel]

And now they're going to change it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What's the problem? What happened?

[Trixie Mattel]

They woke up and this they saw the branding intern said, switch my wig. Make them feel like a cheating they. You.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Wow.

[Trixie Mattel]

The thing is, I have news for you. HBO Max. You've been HBO Max the whole time. We all say hbo.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

HBO ain't going nowhere because you don't want it to go nowhere.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's the home broadcasting office.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Home Box office.

[Trixie Mattel]

Also Pepsi Max. Got the jump on you, T. Oh, homebox office.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Homebox office.

[Trixie Mattel]

What did I say?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Home Buster Keaton office.

[Trixie Mattel]

Let's take a break. I just think it's. I woke up and was just like really? I felt like that Jasmine Masters meme of like a fucking gin. Nothing. Nothing different. Nothing new.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Just as I thought. Trash. No good. So what is the. Do you know? Have the inside scoop about like what actually happened because you know there's some crazy shake off shake up where people got fired and killed.

[Trixie Mattel]

It was like a. The gayest person you know coming out to you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But we're coming out as what?

[Trixie Mattel]

As gay?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no, but I know, but like.

[Trixie Mattel]

It'S like I wanted y' all to know that I'm gay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's like this might come as a shock.

[Trixie Mattel]

Guess what, Max? We. Ben knew. I've been knew that you're hbo.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know, but whose head rolled? That's what I want to know.

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't know. Maybe they just gave up the ghost. I mean, at a certain point, like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, there's no ghosts give up. They like fired like 50 people.

[Trixie Mattel]

I bet they're trying to be like, oh, well, I'm. I'm Bricky Lake.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Bricky Lake.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, bitch, you're Britney Spears.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Britney Spears.

[Trixie Mattel]

Britney Spears.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So HBO Max is HBO Max.

[Trixie Mattel]

And now we can say it without people correct. It's actually Max.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, why did they switch to Max in the first place? Wasn't it to save money or something? Right.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think it's a tax so they.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Don'T have to pay residuals.

[Trixie Mattel]

Tax pit. It was so that they wouldn't be elitist. Be seen as elitist. Because HBO is elitist. When they were bought by Discovery.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, I'm sorry. My name is hbo, by the way. I'm sorry that I produce high quality entertainment and have been doing that for the last 30 years.

[Trixie Mattel]

And you're. She's the number one purveyor of. What do you call it?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Prestige Sunday night Prestige television. You, you fat, ugly you.

[Trixie Mattel]

You happy? You stupid, happy little bastard.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You dumb.

[Trixie Mattel]

Listen, I'm at home, by the way. Hbo, Max, the rehearsal.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Thank you.

[Trixie Mattel]

It is the home of the home of Trixie Motel Nathan. For you, it's the home of the best programs.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Game of fucking Thrones, the Sopranos.

[Trixie Mattel]

Thus the Sopranos. Hello, Taco Bell. Are you hiring? Okay, I will come down and fill out an application.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's the best. It's Mama. I grew up on hbo. She raised me.

[Trixie Mattel]

She raised. She.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, I'm not six feet under. Sex in the fucking City.

[Trixie Mattel]

Sex in the City.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Dream on. That's the deep cut. Of course that's the deep cut.

[Trixie Mattel]

The Smurfs. I don't know about that. I made that up.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Real sex too.

[Trixie Mattel]

Pitch secret. Secret life of pets. Oh, whenever Brandon. Brandon, when he talks about his personal life, I assume he has secret life. He I'll say, tell me about your secret life of pets. And that's what you know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

He do have a secret life.

[Trixie Mattel]

He do have a secret life.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Sometimes I, I, I, you know, I, I clock him.

[Trixie Mattel]

You clock his te. You clock his. Not his non binary tea. And it's very valid.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's very hot.

[Trixie Mattel]

You ever. The best is when you're on Grindr and you see someone and it's like someone you work with or someone and you have to comment girl. Or like just the eyeball emoji.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I immediately block.

[Trixie Mattel]

You do.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yeah. It's humiliating.

[Trixie Mattel]

I love to get in.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Absolutely humiliating.

[Trixie Mattel]

I love to get in there and say, what are you up to tonight? Or like, you know, looking. Yeah. What? Local news. Any local news?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Are you horned?

[Trixie Mattel]

Can I tell you what happened last night?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

As long as you don't. As long as you don't forget to remind me about Beyonce.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah, we'll talk about Beyonce. We will talk about Beyonce. We both saw Beyonce and we have a. I saw it on a Wednesday, you saw it on a Friday, and.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Here at Englewood, two different days.

[Trixie Mattel]

And we can talk about it. I think we should save it for the end because it's going to be so explosive. Okay. How are we going to follow it?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's a really good.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know. So last night, I don't know if you know this, but get into this. The Republicans in the COVID of night are just.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know.

[Trixie Mattel]

Passing the great big beautiful bill, whatever the fuck they're calling it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They're big beautiful.

[Trixie Mattel]

Great big beautiful bill or whatever the.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Big Be the build back better.

[Trixie Mattel]

The BBW midnight special, whatever they're doing. I just have to say as a politician myself, if you're, if you're up doing it, the witch's hour. If you're blood oath murder, like taking food out of baby's mouth. Piece of paper has to get signed in the COVID of darkness like a.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Witch after 2:00am by the way, which anybody in Hollywood or anywhere else knows that nothing good happens after 2:00am Nothing.

[Trixie Mattel]

Unless you're in LA or in New York. I think it's 4:00am yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

After, after hours in New York.

[Trixie Mattel]

Everything, everything in nightlife is too late in New York.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, I don't understand that.

[Trixie Mattel]

In New York. In New York, sometimes they don't even start eating until 4am Say about Barcelona.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We have dinner at 11:30.

[Trixie Mattel]

That sounds awful.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, it sounds.

[Trixie Mattel]

What do you do at five? Pray. I'm hungry by five.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You take a three hour nap. Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

I just think it's. And what did you see one of the things in it, obviously they're slashing Medicaid. They're taking literally life saving things away from people. We're not talking luxuries, we're talking can I get a hospital bed for myself at my house?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah. Medicaid things are all like super fine printing out. And then they're giving huge tax cuts to the wealthy.

[Trixie Mattel]

One of the.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well needed.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, thank God.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's like one of the tax cuts is the craziest thing and I had to tell you about it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What is it?

[Trixie Mattel]

One of them is tax cuts for people who have tanning beds in their homes. Which by the way is money elitist and racist. All these rich white people need their tanning bed coupons. Honey, go outside. Tanning bed is the sun.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I hate everybody.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's fierce. It's so fierce. By the way, Planet Fitness has tanning beds. $20 a month. You get any tanning bed in Planet.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Fitness for are they getting a tax cut? I highly doubt it.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I just think it's funny that under a certain administration where everybody's very Caucasian and sometimes even orange, they said, you know what I mean? You're in your. You're. He's hanging up. I bet he hangs upside like a bat. Like, like a bat when he tans. And he opened those B eyes and said, I think I, I think I should get a little financial kickback for this. Yeah, I just think it's crazy. That is so money elitist and racist.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's also, I, I saw the footage of them in the, in the celebrating and you know, up all night. I saw like, I felt like I had X ray vision glasses on and I saw a bunch of lizards, just a bunch of nasty lizards, like not wanting to do public service, not giving a. About any taxpayer, not giving a shit about anybody but themselves in their weird like cabal of fucking pervert nasty pieces of shit.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's, it's really hard. I just wanted to get it out of the way because I'm just, I'm fascinated with the idea of sitting down and going, well, this one's going to be unpopular, folks. What do we schedule at 2:30am and how about we just try to keep the cameras off and dim the lights and we just get our, get our tax rebate on our tanning bid.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

What about a mail in rebate? Remember the days of mail in rebate?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I've never.

[Trixie Mattel]

I do 200 off a washer dryer at Best Buy with a mail in rebate fine print.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You got to read that. Have you ever had, have you ever done that? I don't think I've ever.

[Trixie Mattel]

Have you seen, do you see a Nathan for you when they put the rebate on top of a mountain and you have to go hand carry it to a mailbox and he keeps them all night asking them riddles.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Wait, I've been so. I caught up on the riddles.

[Trixie Mattel]

20 off their gas.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I caught up on the rehearsal a little bit. I finished the, the, the parenting one. And I gotta ask you.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wait, I gotta ask. Have you ever seen the first season, the Parenting? No.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I saw, I saw it, but there were new episodes, I think. Or no, I guess I didn't finish it. I didn't finish it.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm only up to season. I am on the season that's about the plane.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Airplane. I haven't started that yet.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay. The parenting one is wild. The kid. Do you think it was wild?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I was like, I found myself. I'm like, okay, what reality is the real one right now? And in which reality should I be actively concerned about this child?

[Trixie Mattel]

What about when the child starts to think it's his dad?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's what I'm Saying I was like, this is heartbreaking. Is he a monster?

[Trixie Mattel]

Right. What about in episode two of that first season? Nathan, please come on the pod. Pod.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Anytime, anytime, day or night. 2:00am Please, Nathan, come on.

[Trixie Mattel]

At 2:00am on the pod. Our first live episode in Cover of Darkness. And what about the second episode where the guy is trying to talk to his estranged brother at a raising cane's chicken finger restaurant? It's in the people in the restaurant has fake chicken and they're holding up.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And they can't talk. Union rules. Like the little kids party.

[Trixie Mattel]

They can't talk. Yeah, the love that. Which by the way, fake talking is more energy than.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Thank you. It's more. Well, I guess you don't have to learn.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, that makes me think of real tv. Whenever you see a party and it's like Janine, should we go dance?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And they're like, oh, dancing.

[Trixie Mattel]

No music extras are there going, that is so weird.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I've done it. I've done it. I can't remember where, but I did it.

[Trixie Mattel]

I hope it. It's a slow dance and you're like no SL.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like Elaine.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I owe $949 to SAG. What do you think about that?

[Trixie Mattel]

You do? What do you think about me calling it sag?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I owe me my SIG extra card.

[Trixie Mattel]

Why do you owe money to sag? You're not in it. You don't work.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You don't, you know, job having bitch.

[Trixie Mattel]

By the way, that's, that's seg. We didn't book anything this year, but we would like our due.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Listen, I'm all for unions. If they want to come give me a rectal exam, that's fine.

[Trixie Mattel]

Fran Drescher needs your money. Give her ninety dollars.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

How much is 949? But I think every, every year it's like three grand.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, I mean I think we should pay it. But why are you behind? You didn't pay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't know. I just got an email that said you're May. Dues are due. You fat, ugly. You won't. We won't book you for nothing. But.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I've seen how much you complain on union things. Imagine how much you complain on an independent program with like here's your bag of Cheetos.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. And take that dog sled up the mountain. Yeah, bitch.

[Trixie Mattel]

Have you ever. Well, non union work. All of drag is you're being paid with a, you know, cocaine use.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Union sanctioned cocaine brand dresser approved cocaine.

[Trixie Mattel]

This weekend I saw cocaine use for the first time. No, it's Just like, it's been a while.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Cocaine. Champagne.

[Trixie Mattel]

It was cocaine. It was in Mexico.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Wait, you went to Mexico?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes, this weekend.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The hot air balloon.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, my God. About it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Talk about.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay, well, I guess I. Can we go back to what? Because. Well, it's Mexico. Later.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, we can save it for the next part.

[Trixie Mattel]

But I saw cocaine. Well, okay, go back. I didn't see cocaine use, but I heard someone was doing it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That is not the same thing, you stupid bitch. Oh, my God. So you didn't actually see it?

[Trixie Mattel]

No, I was working. I was in. I was in drag, but I had someone run to. Oh, run to my dressing room and grab this. And they were like, someone was doing cocaine. I was like, in your dressing room? Well, I was sharing a dressing room.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

With people who do cocaine.

[Trixie Mattel]

Cocaine use.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I guess people do it. I just, like, forget about it. And then you see the cocaine use and you go, holy. It's like seeing an Amish person or something. It's like, whoa. You know?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, I associate cocaine with straight people.

[Trixie Mattel]

They love it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

K is very gay. K is gay. Coke is straight. Coke is woke up.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, because coke is, like, very uppy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But the gates for the drinkers, you know, like, it sobers me up so that I can drive.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's fierce.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's crazy.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's actually.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But actually, like, that's the feeling that straight people have on cocaine. Like, I need a little bump so I can drive home. Do you know that?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, I do.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's crazy.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know, I know that Gen Z doesn't drink because it's obviously, they're in a much worse financial bucket than us when we were that age. It's like the, you know, the economic stretch is much worse. And also, I understand that they're more health conscious because they know that, you know, alcohol shrinks your brain and, you know, the ethanol kills the cells of your walls, all kinds of stuff. Okay, buy a bottle of pink Sir Vodka. Go ahead. But I also think it's crazy that. Do young straight people not know Gen Z? Back in the day, we used to go to the bar with a handle of booze in the trunk. You step outside, you chug booze in the parking lot, pre and then go back in the bar. You can go into the bar and actually not buy many drinks.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Absolutely. You can go get a water.

[Trixie Mattel]

Boof.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Boofy the vampire. Sl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Boof the bourbon.

[Trixie Mattel]

Boof the bourbon. Today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Better Help. I got to tell you, the world is wild. The world is unleashed, unhinged, unapologetic, and completely unplotted. It is all wilder and wilder. And every day I wake up, I feel ready to grip the wheel and I feel my best self. I feel unthreatened. I feel pretty good. And it is all thanks to two years of talk therapy. BetterHelp is wonderful because you can do it from anywhere and anytime. You can do it in the car, at work, on your lunch break. You can do it at home in your, you know, you could do outside in your yard sometimes. Me and my therapist have met in the backyard by the pool. I mean, if I have to do something as sometimes difficult as talking, you know, openly, it's nice to be able to do it from the safety of my own home. You know, real strength comes from opening up about yourself and it's hard to struggle, but you can do something about it. And the best part is you can do it on your own terms. Like I said, you can do it from anywhere. You can switch therapists at any time for any reason. And it doesn't just work for you. It works for 1.7 million client reviews because on the App Store it has a 4.9 out of 5 like BetterHelp is very much enjoyed and the people who use it gain a lot from it. Talk it out, baby. With better help, Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com bald that's BetterHelp H E L P.com bald.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Do you need a website or domain for your new business venture? Pantaloonsforpuppies.com if you're in desperate need of a new site to showcase your ritualistically blessed glow in the dark cargo pants for puppies who bark exclusively in Morse code, you need Squarespace when you need to reach your core demographics of cryptozoologists and suburban teens with cursed amulets. And the pop up shops inside abandoned Howard Johnson restaurant locations aren't really working. The Internet can be your savior. Revenue will erupt like a volcano when you stream high stakes underground puppy fashion tournaments in a digital fan club run by a retired Postal service employee who claims to have invented pants in 1982. I guess what I'm trying to say is this. If you want to start a business, you need to check out Squarespace. They have a new tool called Design Intelligence which combines two decades of industry leading design expertise with cutting edge AI technology that will unlock your strongest creative potential. Design Intelligence empowers anyone, even technological luddites like me to build beautiful, more personalized websites tailored to one's unique needs. But that's not all. Squarespace can even help you with E commerce. You can use Squarespace Payments, which is the easiest way to manage your payments in one place. You can get started in just a few clicks and start receiving payments right away. Plus, you'll give your customers more ways to pay with popular payment methods like Klarna, Ach Direct Debit, Apple Pay, and afterpay. And after you've launched, you're going to need help with marketing. Squarespace has so many features to help drive sales and engage your audience with creative email campaigns, though, you'll be the undisputed king of puppy pantaloons in no time. So if you need a new website for yourself or for your business, go ahead and check out squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to Launch, go to squarespace.com baldwin to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Again, that's squarespace.com bald to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[Trixie Mattel]

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[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So someone was doing cocaine in your dressing room and then you went on a hot air balloon ride.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay. So I had to go. Well, I got the opportunity to go to Mexico City this weekend, which is just a beautiful city. My God, love it. Mexico pouring out from Mexico City. Beautiful people, nice people. Stunning heads of hair. Thick, glossy, not balls. Gorgeous hairs. And I went with two girlfriends from college and I said I'm going to Mexico to do Tecate Emblema and it's going to be a huge music festival. I'm going to get to dj. Would you guys like to come? We can all hang out. And they said sure. So my friends Becca and Claire shout out to the pod who you've met both them several times.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Love them both.

[Trixie Mattel]

So they told me I could tell this story. Poor Claire gets the. Gets the good. The good diarrhea. She gets the good diarrhea. The kind where you don't have time to close the bathroom door behind you when you're running in there. You know what I mean? Like I felt the earth.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, you know that is that. Yeah, that jet pack diarrhea that's 3 inches off the of the toilet seat.

[Trixie Mattel]

Not to get cybertruck diarrhea. The real damn.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What'd she do? She drinks some water from the tap.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, poor thing. She was well enough to go to my thing. Which you know, Becca and Claire aren't music festival people. And and so they. Yeah, they were very support watch me and clap and enjoy it. And then I thought, well you guys, if we get through this, we're going to a real tourism the next few days.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

So we got to do my show and then we'll go do real. We went to see a castle in Mexico City. A Mexican castle. And then something they don't tell you about Mexico. Mexico is very old.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, they have.

[Trixie Mattel]

That is older than old. So we got in a hot air balloon.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That didn't stress you out at all?

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I find it to. I find it completely terrorizing. So like there was a lot of.

[Trixie Mattel]

Reasons you wouldn't have gone first up. We had to be picked up at the hotel at 4:30 in the morning?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No ma' am.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay, 4:30 in the morning?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No ma' am.

[Trixie Mattel]

The day before Becca goes, so tomorrow we have pick up at 4:30. And then she goes and you said in a text that you were fine with it. And I was like damn, she's got me. Cuz she knew I was about to launch into a complaint.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Wait, why 4:30.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's so early because we got to drive an hour out of the city, get in the. They have. Give you coffee, sign the waiver, whatever, and then you get in. Okay, so, Becca, first of all, Claire can't come because she has diarrhea. So that bodes well because you don't want to react in a hot air balloon. You don't. You are a hot air balloon.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Mom.

[Trixie Mattel]

What, are you gonna hang out the side of the basket, baby?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Poop little booty off the side?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes. And the young, the Nina's and the abuelitas below do not deserve you to shit on them.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Face speckled with brown.

[Trixie Mattel]

You look up and see a white ass just shitting like. No. You know what I mean? So then. So Claire doesn't go.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And Claire's big white ass.

[Trixie Mattel]

And so we. We feel bad because Claire's. She has a. She has a minor in Spanish. She got a master's in Spanish. Oh, she speaks fluent Spanish. And it was like, Claire's our guide. And because she's dedicated so much of life to learning Spanish, we were like, this is a really her trip.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This is her moment.

[Trixie Mattel]

And then she couldn't go. And so we. We feel horrible for her because not only can she not go, she's at home sick.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is she, like, helping you on the toilet, like, with phrases?

[Trixie Mattel]

No, she's texting us, being like, you know, miss you guys. Wish I could come. And we feel awful. And so then it's me and our group, and we end up. We're in a van. They don't tell you this. They put you in a van, a huge sprinter van with a bunch of other people who are going, sure, Straight people. Oh, straight. Like. And when I see straight people in their 20s on a trip, I immediately think hostile. I think, this is how horror movies start.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This is human trafficking.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Like, come on, Troy, this isn't funny. And then you, like, walk over and get your tits hacked off. You know? So, like, everything about a straight some.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

German businessman is, like, on. Watching on a monitor.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. So I am the last person to get in the van. And I'm sitting in this single seat, and, you know, Becky with the good hair is behind me, this blonde girl in a white linen dress with a white linen shirt, and she's ready for her Instagram. I was gonna say Mexico moment. And I hope she doesn't hear this. And I'm sorry to tell the story. She starts throwing up in the moving vehicle leaving Mexico City. She starts going. And then she's going up and over. A little bit over. So then her boyfriend saves the day, goes, hey, senor, can we pull over.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

My girlfriend to blow chunks.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I have my headphones in, and one part of me is grossed out. The other part of me is like. The other part of me's like, it's early. This is crazy. And you know what I thought of immediately? Katya's gonna love to hear about this. So she's what? We're in Mexico. So centimeters. She's eight centimeters behind me, puking. And the guy's on the highway, and he goes, I can't stop. We're on the highway. So he keeps driving. She keeps puking.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Puking on what? Where? In her dress.

[Trixie Mattel]

To her credit, she got up and there was no puke. She must have been puking down her shirt, protecting the group.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That is. That's cunt. That's considerate.

[Trixie Mattel]

And she gets off, and she's in a white linen. And when she walks by me, some droplet hits me here. So I'm already like, great. I'm in a dye, covered in pink and a hot air.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're going to be Gwyneth Paltrow in contagion.

[Trixie Mattel]

So she gets off, and her lovely boyfriend helps her off. And she turns to the rest of the van, which is like eight more of her friends, and goes, like, you guys just go without me. I don't want everybody's time to be ruined. We will Uber back. It's totally fine. So we leave her. So I'm like, yeah, the straight people are dropping like flies. We've lost my friend. We've lost her. Right? And so. And it's also like, you know, you feel corny as a Caucasian person on vacation in Mexico to get sick. It feels corny. Boots.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's a little predictable.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's like coming out, Coming out day.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you guys.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. So we get there, it's so early, the sun is starting to rise. And I'm standing in a field outside of Mexico City. Like, here we are, girls. And I see 20, 30 hot air balloons starting to get erected with a balloon. And it occurs to me, they do this 20 or 30 times a day, every day. This can't be unsafe. So I ask Google, I say, is it unsafe to hot air balloon? And Google says, it's one of the safest. It's the safest form of air travel, and it's safer than driving. So I think, okay, yeah. I mean, not for Ms. Puke behind me.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's not safe for her also, actually think about it you get sick talking puke. Not that one.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Hot air balloon. Fabulous place.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Portable toilet.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Just outside and you know what I mean, and shout.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I. I don't want to expose this woman's information, so I don't know her name or anything, but her name.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is Kelsey Robinson, 616.

[Trixie Mattel]

Claire, friend of the pod. Told me I could use her name. So thanks.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Thank you, Claire.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know, and also, I don't know yourself, story on vacation is not exactly novel. Travel up everybody's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Body except ours. I know because it's all we do.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's always diarrhea.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's like if mommy, if you stay sick, you don't have to get sick.

[Trixie Mattel]

Everyone my group had diarrhea.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Except me. And I'm sitting there with my, you know, 19 inch sig, like whatever, you know, I'm cast iron, stomach completely fine. I'm like, you know. So we walk over to the hot air balloon and I'm like, holy shit, this is happening. And it occurs to me, this is a balloon in the sky with a basket.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And fire.

[Trixie Mattel]

And fire.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Fire. So a basket, fire. A giant balloon.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I'm thinking, where's the gas? How do I know the whole thing doesn't start on fire? And by the way, last week in Mexico City, last week there was a viral video of a hot air balloon starting on fire and falling to its death. Last week, somebody in my group sends it. I said, thanks so much.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is the first time in like 100 years apparently.

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't know. So it takes off, the guy starts going, they pull a thing and hot. Hot fire.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Propane or whatever.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

And we start lifting and there are six to eight men guiding it off the ground. And before you know it, we are.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Floating away like a roller coaster with no track tea.

[Trixie Mattel]

And it's a basket maybe the size of a quarter of this room.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

Small.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you. Is there chairs inside?

[Trixie Mattel]

No, but it's cut into a middle section where just the operator is the pilot. And I looked up they have real training where they get like certifications. Like a real pilot, I would hope.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

But I didn't know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's not like a tandem bicycle. You need some credentials.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I didn't know if it was like super regulated the way planes are. I didn't know, you know, do you need a license to skydive? I don't know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I would not get in a helicopter without doing some research.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right. What about a helicopter? Like from one of the hair shows, the helicopter, I hold her legs yeah. And she just goes, that's the safest way to travel.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You hold her thighs really tight.

[Trixie Mattel]

Of course, you can only go from a hair show to a Sephora and back. That's all you can do.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know, you get an Ulta if.

[Trixie Mattel]

You want because you need to get hair sprayed once you get there, you know, and you better hope the hair doesn't come out of the head. So we're in the air at first. We're a little bit off the air and I'm like, this is so cool. This is crazy. I look off the edge and it occurs to me as we get really high, it occurs to me my feet are here. Then there's actual wicker basket. We're in a Easter basket in the sky.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Basket in the sky.

[Trixie Mattel]

And they have a JBL speaker playing like 99 red balloons. Come fly with me. 99 red balloons.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Real literal.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, Coldplay. Sky full of stars. And I was like, this is crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's also. It's a very well trodden, like, songwriting wise. The sky.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. And then it occurs to me why it's so early. We're watching the sunrise from a balloon in the sky surrounded by 20 or 30 other balloons.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

It was like being in a Windows XP screensaver. It was so cool. If anybody has the privilege to go to Mexico, do it. We also.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

How much did it cost?

[Trixie Mattel]

Don't remember. So we're. I also don't understand how money works there. Oh, here's your meal. It's 26, 000 pesos.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think we could just.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know the same thing with rubles. Like, same thing with rubles. It's like $5 is 450,000 rubles.

[Trixie Mattel]

Why are we doing all that? Like, why are we doing all that?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Why don't you just, like, cut some of those zeros off you?

[Trixie Mattel]

Are there pennies there?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, pesos.

[Trixie Mattel]

I know, but is there anything lower? Like dollars, Quarters?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah. They've got to have change. So look it up.

[Trixie Mattel]

1 peso is cents.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It like 01.

[Trixie Mattel]

So what could be smaller? That's why I'm asking.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, no. Oh, I see what you mean. Well, of course it could be smaller if they do like 150. Is anything ever 150?

[Trixie Mattel]

There's pesos and the paquitos.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think we should all be using the. The.

[Trixie Mattel]

The toilet crypto. Oh, the dogecoin, for sure. The trump coin. And so we were in the balloon because once I get over the fear of it, I go, oh, my God, we're going to see Mexican pyramids. I'm from the balloon. From the balloon. The balloon lands and then I get to go to the pyramids, which, fun fact.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Look at you complaining.

[Trixie Mattel]

Are called temples. They're only called pyramids colloquially because they're not hollow and it's not really a pyramid. They're flat on top.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Trixie Mattel]

And they were named by the Aztecs, who only found them and thought they were built by gods, because the people who built them are from so long ago, we have no idea who they are or, like what they called themselves. Oh, my God, it was so crazy to be somewhere so old. I love that. And then we got to go down to. Into caves to see where the people slept because it's so hot. They slept underground.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That didn't freak you out?

[Trixie Mattel]

No, it was just amazing. Mexico's very cunty.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know.

[Trixie Mattel]

Shout out to Mexico.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, Shout out to Mexico.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's our sponsor. Today's pod.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The country of Mexico. The country of Mexico de Mexico. What about our country only being like 40 years old?

[Trixie Mattel]

That's the thing. I'm like, she's like 45 years old.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, is Boston no, like Native American shit? Well, yes, but America loves to not exactly build museums for that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And also, they don't really love talking about that.

[Trixie Mattel]

No. So we're at. We're at this castle in Mexico and we're like, wow, this was built for a while. It was used as a headquarters for military for a while. Presidents of Mexico and emperors of Mexico, like, lived here in America. The way we completely do not acknowledge the history of indigenous people. We act like American history started in 1492.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And also, how about the, like, other English. English speaking countries, like, doing land acknowledgments when you land, like in Australia and New Zealand, for example, we would like.

[Trixie Mattel]

To acknowledge that we live on the land of the Walla Wall.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's like so aggressive and like. And here we are on the very opposite side of that spectrum. Like, what? Genocide, bitch. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Slavery. What are you talking about?

[Trixie Mattel]

We are from the era of Sarah Palin telling us that slavery was a hoax.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

If you believe it didn't happen, guess what? It didn't.

[Trixie Mattel]

I just was like, wow, Mexico. Relating themselves to this culture and treating it as their ancestors instead of basically acting like, bloop, sorry. Yep. The people that we don't even know the name of it because the.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So the Mayans and the Aztecs, are they contemporaries or. No.

[Trixie Mattel]

Aztecs found these structures and thought they were built by gods because they don't know what they thought. The people had a volcanic eruption or famine, but all those people are gone.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Who made them?

[Trixie Mattel]

We don't know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Probably the same people who did Stonehenge. I recognize that work.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think it was. Oh, you know who it was? It was.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was the Property brothers.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes, it was the Property Brothers and Chaz Bona. For sure. It was Chaz Dean.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's what I was gonna say.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wait, it was a chastity salon. It was a chat.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I saw this sign.

[Trixie Mattel]

There was a little overgrowth, jungle over Chaz Dean Salon.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We gotta talk about these billboards, mama. If you have the opportunity to get a billboard, I suggest you do it. It's a way. It's a great, wonderful way to remind people that you exist and that you are slaying the game.

[Trixie Mattel]

You would think she's a musical artist. It looks like. Like, this is Beyonce's Lemonade visual album. Oh, no, it's a Chaz Dean billboard.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Also, I feel like with. Especially with styling, like that particular profession where. Where desirability is so, like, pinned down to, like, elusiveness.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You can't catch me because I'm so sought after.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Being so aggressively, like, promotional is a very weird flex. You know what I mean?

[Trixie Mattel]

It's fierce.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Like, he could either be a total flop, like arsonist or a legend or somewhere in between, but probably one of the. You know, either or.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. I mean, we sell things with our faces on them, but we're entertainers, you know?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. We all. That's what we do.

[Trixie Mattel]

And it's not our faces. No, that's not us.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They're masks.

[Trixie Mattel]

They're masks.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

His billboards are so fierce.

[Trixie Mattel]

Today's episode of Bald and Beautiful is brought to you by Hungry Root. I am a person who aspires to be more into planning my meals, you guys. I have been really deep in Martha Stewart core, okay? I've been really deep in homemaking, really deep in Food Network, really deep in the idea that I can have better meals for myself. I can spend less time preparing them and do a better job cooking for them. It's just going to take a little grease in the wheels. And for me, it's Hungryroot. It's been a game changer in my stunning home. It takes the stress out of mealtime at Hungryroot because you're planning a full week of meals tailored to your tastes. And it's kind of gets smarter and easier with every order. With over 15,000 quick recipes shipped every week, many ready in just 15 or minutes or less. I'm vegetarian. And when you eliminate heating up like, you know, dead meat, you really can cook very quickly. It's easy to find options that fit your whole family's tastes. And for me, that's just me. But I'm the father and the baby and we have very diverse ideas of what a meal should look like. Whether you're gluten free, dairy free, high protein, focused on gut health, or just about anything else. Hungry Root helps you stay on track. I mean, my personal diet, I would say, is just woke. I want vegetarian, I want cost effective, I want good for me. But I also need delicioso. Okay. After a quick quiz, your smart cart technology will build a weekly menu that fits your needs. It's like having a personal meal planner who just gets it. Shout out to the divas who just get it. Hungry helps cut down on food waste and keeps you from defaulting to expensive takeout. Don't look at me when I say that, okay? You get great value with thoughtfully planned meals. And with my offer, you get a free item like a premium protein, a veggie, or a sweet treat. Shout out to the sweet treat divas. I'm one of those people who needs a sweet treat after dinner, okay? And I'm never gonna change. In my hungry root bowl, there was a veggie chorizo taco in a bowl. Now, I am not an experienced chorizo person, so I'm just gonna. I know that that's normally a meat thing, but all my experiences with it are prepared in like a vegan, you know, scenario and very textured and pro, like cooked, like processed, chopped up, fake. Meats like that usually are the best. They're the most satisfying, they're the most nutritionally balanced. And with 33 grams of protein per serving, it packs a nutritional punch. I love cooking Mexican food, but I am vegetarian and not Mexican, so I feel like I'm always striving to be better, striving to create a better Mexican food item because it's great for guests. I like to make this vegan chorizo taco in a bowl. The dish uses plant based chorizo as its protein source. So it's spicy and savory and it gives it some texture because I think vegan food, it's very easy to have it be textureless and this, this really hits. Take advantage of this exclusive offer for a limited time, get 40% off your first box, plus get a free item in every box for life. Go to hungryroot.com bald and use the code bald. That's hungryroot.com bald code bald to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your Choice for life. Hungryroot.com bald code bald race the rudders.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Race the sails. Raise the sails. Captain, an unidentified ship is approaching.

[Trixie Mattel]

Over. Roger.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

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[Trixie Mattel]

Summer is coming right to your door with Target Circle360. Get all the season go tos at home with same day delivery Snacks for the pool party delivered sun lotion and towels for a beach day delivered Pillows and lights to deck out the deck. That too delivered. Just when you want them summer your way quick and easy. Join now and get all the summer fun delivered right to your home with target circle 360. Membership required. Subject to terms and conditions. Applies to orders over $35. You know this little chubby baby that you have on the wall with the wings on the head that's chastene. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's Mistress Isabel Brooks. No, they had those for sale in.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Mexico at the markets for 0.$1.

[Trixie Mattel]

And this gentleman, I said, so what do they mean? I was like, this is. They have these big chubby cheeks with angel wings. And he said, well, they're the children. People just like them. And I said, great. Thanks for the. This is a really interesting thought. He was gonna be like, oh, it's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

A religious figure or like it represents the children of people, of gang members slain by the Sinaloa cartel.

[Trixie Mattel]

He said, people like. And people think they're cute. And I said, thank you, senior.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Sometimes it just is what it is.

[Trixie Mattel]

It just is what it is. And that's enough. You know what I mean?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We don't need to be anything more than what we are.

[Trixie Mattel]

What did you do last weekend? Because when I'm gone, I know that you're not working. No, you did work.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I did a huge if true.

[Trixie Mattel]

What did you do?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Mary a girl? That's a great question, but I did it.

[Trixie Mattel]

I thought you worked in San Francisco with Peaches.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I worked at Stanford, in Palo Alto. At Stanford University with Peaches, whose pattern I went with. She gave me this lovely T shirt support.

[Trixie Mattel]

The girls love Peaches.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She's always a delight to work with. She dishes backstage and it's so Funny. She's great. And then she's a real humdinger.

[Trixie Mattel]

She's not exactly of a great beauty.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I love working with her because I look amazing.

[Trixie Mattel]

She's not exactly an impenetrable fortress when it comes to gossip.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Let's just say she lets people ride the subway for free. Totally.

[Trixie Mattel]

She was. One time she was like, I heard from so and so that you said that I was gossip. I was like, you're gossiping now you're doing it. Now you're calling me to tell me what you heard about you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

God, I love her. It's so transparent. I didn't know all this stuff about, like, the. The continuing mystery about Hecklen and all that stuff, which I find fascinating.

[Trixie Mattel]

Talk about it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, I don't know about it. Nobody does. That's the whole point.

[Trixie Mattel]

Basically, there is a movement beseeching and suggesting and.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And there's also, like. There's media, right? Like Hulu or somebody or whatever.

[Trixie Mattel]

There is, like, a suggestion that this was not reported upon properly. It was not investigated properly because of a. Because of the nature of it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes. Because potentially, or allegedly, there may be people with very high profiles involved in the.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's like, so say, for example, you're Kate Middleton.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And you're going to a PNP orgy, right? You don't. When somebody dies at the orgy, you want to scoot off real quick and not have the British royal family know that you went to a PNP orgy.

[Trixie Mattel]

The freak off.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, it's the freak who's gonna match your freak.

[Trixie Mattel]

Who's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, but you know what I mean, that's. That's the implication.

[Trixie Mattel]

I mean, I don't know if people remember. I think we talked about this on the pod when it happened, but Peaches and Heklina were in London living together, working on some projects, and Heklina passed away.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, she died.

[Trixie Mattel]

She passed herself away. She passed herself away. And Heklina was such a force. And in a way, you know, Peaches and I have joked about, like, listen, for her, Kalina, sex, drugs and rock and roll, what a way to go. Of course, right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Not like slipping in a puddle and whacking your head on the sidewalk, right?

[Trixie Mattel]

But the way it was investigated and handled and the accountability and, I mean, I don't think it's wild to suggest that if it's an LGBT person or a black person person or, you know, that things don't get exactly their due diligence, you know, and so people just want that type of justice across the Board. Because Hecklin was so big and also.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So full of herself. So, like, I feel like this is very fitting. She's like, y' all ain't gonna forget me.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, why are you all. Stop talking about me. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She's like, it's only been two weeks.

[Trixie Mattel]

Hello.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Excuse me. I definitely want foul play. Like, I went DNR and then foul play. You should have been on my sheets. Yeah, I. I need you to not resuscitate me, but not stop talking about me.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, do you remember when it happened? Do you remember what we said to each other?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's we picked up the race, I.

[Trixie Mattel]

Gotta be you, she said. Should have been you, she said. I thought it was gonna be me, too.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, well, I mean, duh.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, that's just the. The brutal reality of it.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's tough. I mean, it's. You know, we just lost Jiggly Vivian Chi Chi heckling like, the list of drag queens. Sahara. Like, unless you have drag queens, we lose. High profile drag queens is always odd.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, a. Because they're usually under 50.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And anybody under 50, unless you're high.

[Trixie Mattel]

Too, then you're 90, 102. You know, you look really old, but.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What would you do if you got a call.

[Trixie Mattel]

To be on American Idol? To be on American Idol, the singing show? I would do it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Would you ever work if America's Next Top Model were hiring, like, male models and they approached you, like, in person?

[Trixie Mattel]

I would think it was a Josie Grossi situation.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right.

[Trixie Mattel]

I would say, nathan Fielder, come out okay. You know what I mean?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you hear about that part of it?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No.

[Trixie Mattel]

Nathan Fielder and Nathan for you, I believe. Or wait, no. In one of his shows, he has the people audition for a singing competition and pick somebody to go to Hollywood. And you have these. This girl was like, I flew myself out to audition for this show that's a singing competition that wasn't real, and she spent her own money and took off work.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you think there's an unethical angle of what he does or exploitative facet to what he does? Because sometimes I've read certain critical pieces or whatever about it, but I'm like, I don't know. Sometimes it does seem a little like.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, it's not exactly reality, but I wouldn't say that it crosses more lines than reality television across the board.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But I don't think reality television is ever projecting a squeaky clean image. Like, a squeaky clean image.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you know what I mean? Whereas, like, I don't know what you wouldn't really have any assumptions. He's deception. Like, that's actively deceiving, right?

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't know. Can I say that I don't have an opinion? Because I love the program.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I do, too.

[Trixie Mattel]

Something really different than anything else on tv. And there's no. There's also no rubric for what he's doing on TV right now.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, but you know what he's up to. Like, we know.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What he's up to. And we know that these are rubes. He's like. He's like juggling. You know what I mean?

[Trixie Mattel]

But then again, like, I don't know, like in the first season, the woman who agrees to do this live in marriage with him.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She's wild. She's wild, but she's also really, like.

[Trixie Mattel]

She was fine with it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, she can tell. Like, that's not a person I want to feel sorry for. She's got this.

[Trixie Mattel]

What about when she's like, did you know that eating poop is satanic?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I love that she's so great.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's when you leaned in. You said, if eating poop makes you satanic, I.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, wait, wait. I know we're not supposed to talk about poo poo and pee pee, but wait a minute. I tuned in on Netflix last night. No, on hbo Max, I think. And it was a guy who. He was pulling down his linen pants.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And his hairy butt head was caked with shit.

[Trixie Mattel]

What show was it?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was. It was called.

[Trixie Mattel]

Gabby's Dollhouse. What? Have you ever seen that?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was called Leaving Neverland. No, it was a comedy thing. And for the whole episode, he had shit caked legs, dick and balls and ass.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wow. And I was like, you know, can I tell you what Nathan reminds me of? Have you ever seen Bad Grandpa?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I have not.

[Trixie Mattel]

And Bad Grandpa people don't know that. Johnny Knoxville isn't this Grandpa.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Wait, wait, I thought that was with Robert Neil De Niro. Robert De Niro and Zac Efron. Sorry, but isn't there a movie called Bad Grandpa?

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

With. With. With. I'm aware of that one.

[Trixie Mattel]

By the way, shout out to Mr. De Niro for being accepting of his trans child.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, dirty Grandpa. My bad has a trans child.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. And very accepting of.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, I would imagine.

[Trixie Mattel]

Is that sad? We have to clap. Is that sad? We have to clap for people, their children.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know. Shit. So Bad Grandpa.

[Trixie Mattel]

We also got to talk about that new Wendy Williams documentary, because I watched that too.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There's a Wendy Williams documentary?

[Trixie Mattel]

Another one there's like one every two and a half weeks.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Also, HBO did a documentary about Blake Lively. The thing is not even near resolved.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's fierce.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's so crazy. It's like this is not even. This little moment has not even half over. No, you can't do a documentary about.

[Trixie Mattel]

It because people can't talk so well. The thing is, the only people they're going to get clips from is people who aren't involved in the case at all.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Perez Hilton.

[Trixie Mattel]

But then what do you want most of Peanut? Like, I don't know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's so weird that, like, when the talking head is mostly Perez Hilton, that's when you know.

[Trixie Mattel]

All I want is a gritty Taylor. I want it to be Taylor Swift, but backlit. And they change your voice. But it's totally. We know she jumps at the. And we know it's her. We know it's her.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She's talking about all her.

[Trixie Mattel]

And she's available because Donald Trump said that she's not hot anymore and she fell off. Did you see that?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What girl?

[Trixie Mattel]

He sucks so bad. Also to allege that Taylor Swift is not popular and not pretty.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And also granting asylum for white South Africaners and then. And then falsely, like giving a whole little presentation about the Mary.

[Trixie Mattel]

He suggested that the white South African are getting genocided. It's fierce. It's fear in front of the South African president. It's fierce. All these people from Mexico, get out. But all of you white South Africaners, welcome.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Also, not to like, display my ignorance, but I couldn't help but notice that every time I see an ICE agent, their face is covered up.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's cunty.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Why is that?

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, it's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Why would you cover up your.

[Trixie Mattel]

Proud of what they're doing? It's right up there with doing deals in the middle of the night or.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The Ku Klux Klan.

[Trixie Mattel]

Baby.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's the same thing. You're a domestic terrorist if you have your face covered.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, vigilantism at its. At its worst, it's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, I know.

[Trixie Mattel]

We're supposed to keep it in the HBO series. Hbo. Max. In the HBO series Watchmen, they say masks make men cruel.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They do.

[Trixie Mattel]

I feel that way.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They make me horny.

[Trixie Mattel]

They make me horny. What about. No, I think mask singer, where they get gay guys to have to do like, pitbull songs.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't.

[Trixie Mattel]

London to bees. Is that. Is that Pitbull?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Caitlyn Jenner was on the Masked Singer.

[Trixie Mattel]

Now what is the chick talk on the clock? That's. Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Wake up in the morning feeling like whoops. Yeah. Oh, what about that whole mess? Where's the HBO documentary about that ongoing investigation?

[Trixie Mattel]

Also, why didn't she go to Kris Jenner's faceperson?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Mama, that woman is 70 years old.

[Trixie Mattel]

Chris Jenner.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She's going back to high school.

[Trixie Mattel]

Kris Jenner gate kept the good plastic surgeon.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They she has him saw change to a radiator in a basement somewhere. That old bitch really got a weird haircut and waltzed into the room with a 17 year old face.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's giving freaky Friday. It's like, have we seen Kim? Is she old now? Did they switch bodies?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, she ripped the face off and sew it on. It's crazy easy.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's fierce. It's the best tick tock on the clock.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Hey kiddo. I love your like. I was like, okay, you get a weird little haircut to pull focus from the fact that you just de aged 35 years.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like I got an. I got a Dyson air wrap.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, no, it's just vitamins. A lot of vitamins.

[Trixie Mattel]

Water vitamins. It's just vitamins. That's really all it is.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Vitamins.

[Trixie Mattel]

Vibamins.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh my God. Wait, so Beyonce.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wait. Oh, okay. I thought you were gonna tell me more about your gig this weekend.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, sure.

[Trixie Mattel]

What happened?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, me and Peaches hosted a show and that was it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Although you didn't even have to perform.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I did perform at the end. Little Italian number. I don't know why. And the. My. My Uncle Tom and my Aunt Karen. I think it's amazing.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I Wait a minute. In this America, you have an Aunt Karen and an Uncle Tom.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh my God. It's so funny. I didn't even realize that because they are literally the opposite. So they are like not racist. Complainer.

[Trixie Mattel]

That is so kind of my Uncle Tom. My Aunt Karen's coming from there.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Let me, let me. Like actually so funny.

[Trixie Mattel]

Jesus.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Uncle Tom is a. Owns a pilates studio, is. Did a butt modeling calendar in his youth. And Aunt Karen is the cuntiest, most laidback, kind of like just vibe.

[Trixie Mattel]

Just that people don't pick their names. And by the way.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

McBrady, 10 years ago, I think the name Karen was still okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Also I think Amy Poehler and TNFA talk about how like it was this close to being Amy. Karen.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you know what I mean? Like we have to use a scapegoat for this type of personality. And it's almost Amy.

[Trixie Mattel]

Amy's not bad.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I mean any name.

[Trixie Mattel]

Emma, Judy, Bethann.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

McNavy, Braylon.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Beyonce. Okay, so I told you what I thought of it on, I think, two episodes ago. What did you get out of it?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, so I was offered. So my friend Eddie, he was like, hey, do you wanna go to the Beyonce concert? I said, no, thank you, because I honestly don't really listen to her music, but thank you so much for thinking me. And then Spotify came through with a ticket for a little buffet seat. When there's food involved, I'm perked up and interested.

[Trixie Mattel]

So you won't go for Beyonce, but you go for Spotify? Swedish meatballs?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No. How dare you. Charcuterie fresh, replenished. Have you ever seen a charcuterie board replenished?

[Trixie Mattel]

No, actually, the Delta Sky Club replenished.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

By the Senate under the COVID of night.

[Trixie Mattel]

You're right. And who went with Fina?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Saw Mark there, so that was amazing. Like, instantly a good time.

[Trixie Mattel]

Mark who?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Amanato, our producer.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

He was there randomly.

[Trixie Mattel]

Mark.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. We had the time of our lives.

[Trixie Mattel]

Not random. He's dating Beyonce. He's the father of her children. His daughter Blue Ivy is doing her show.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Listen, I don't. I don't have Beyonce songs in my playlist. I don't have them downloaded. I never listen to her. I don't. I rarely think of her.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This song. I mean, this song, this concert was the best thing I've ever seen in my life.

[Trixie Mattel]

The best thing I've ever seen in my life.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's like she is doing something that. What? Yeah, I know. You told me, but I didn't believe it. I had to see it also. I had to see it with a full stomach.

[Trixie Mattel]

It was amazing. Did you feel proud to be American?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I understand. A hundred.

[Trixie Mattel]

She texted the next day. I know what you meant when you said proud to be an American.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was like. And it's so funny.

[Trixie Mattel]

Hopeful.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Hopeful. It wasn't like an elegy to America. It was like a anthem. And it was like, I don't go up for any kind of country music, certainly not hers. I cried seven or eight times.

[Trixie Mattel]

I mean, I would say country music is hard to define because country music at its core is folk music. And folk music just means music passed down.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, I want to talk about, like, stars pivoting or changing lanes in their careers and being met with nothing but, like, hate and derision for it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, what about the clips in the show from the news being like, apparently Beyonce thinks she's doing in country.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, this black bitch wants to play White music. It's like, what are you talking about? She's born and raised in Houston, Texas.

[Trixie Mattel]

Also.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You gotta do street music. Like what?

[Trixie Mattel]

I guess a lot of country music lives in the South. There are a lot of people of color in the South, Mary.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. News flash. Texas is very black.

[Trixie Mattel]

No kidding.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Anyway, so she was. The show was so. It was so good. The interstitial videos were so cunt and juicy that you didn't even miss her when she was changing. They were so cunt.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You were like, oh, you. Screaming, screaming, screaming. She looks perfect. She performs the breasts, the legs, the hair, the hair, the face, the hair, the face. Every once in a while, she would do this to, like, mime. Getting sweat off her face. I don't think she was even sweating.

[Trixie Mattel]

The best singing I've ever heard live.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. It was like an expert performance by an expert performer.

[Trixie Mattel]

I can't believe how much she said without. Without killing the vibe.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, my God.

[Trixie Mattel]

She felt it. She communicated without making it too heavy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Guess what else she did?

[Trixie Mattel]

What?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She started at 8:01, baby. 8:01pm I was like, oh, boner.

[Trixie Mattel]

It was for me, boner. Maybe 15 minutes long.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm just not used to that long of a piece.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So once I've. Once I've let the, like, the. It wash over me and I'm less, like, hyperbolic about it, I can, like, criticize the show. Absolutely. 15 minutes.

[Trixie Mattel]

A little long. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

50 minutes too long. In the. In the second outfit with the. With the. The. The boot aloons.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

And when it starts to really kick off to Once, you start to maybe go, like, once you've looked at your watch at all, if you have the Renaissance portion starts, and then you got a tuck, and so you get a carpenter's tape out, you put on your. Your good hair, and I put on my cat suit. Check my technique. You know, no makeup, there's no time.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But everything else, it's so. I mean, Ren, I saw the Renaissance movie twice for some reason, and, like, that pink dress with the crisscross titties.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Anyways, that whole section was great. The robot things were cool.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The flying on a horseshoe, the flying on a car. I hated the last outfit, but in the moment.

[Trixie Mattel]

You didn't like the sparkly dress with the.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no. It was a black matte black bodysuit with the.

[Trixie Mattel]

With the America on the bottom.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I thought that was in the moment. I thought it was lovely. Now that I'm reflecting, I could have used something else, but who cares?

[Trixie Mattel]

What'd you think of the dress that was half blue, half red, and sparkling.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She didn't wear that.

[Trixie Mattel]

The night I went. It was a dress that glowed with lights.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, the. The. The. The thingy.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That was so cool. At first, I was like, oh, that's corny. And then I started to cry. No, no.

[Trixie Mattel]

I cried a lot also.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Using, like, using samples of music that's like, American radio music to talk about America in a. In a fresh way.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Was like, she's on some type of shit we wouldn't understand. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I mean, she's operating at a. At a level in a frequency that is not very well known to other people.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She's that bitch.

[Trixie Mattel]

It was awesome. I just was like, wow. I just saw maybe one of the best things I'll ever see in my life.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. And, like. And to not be a huge rabid fan, that's what I'm saying, is, like, really impressive.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, that's how I felt about Madonna, too. I was like, okay, I know probably a dozen Madonna songs. Songs by heart.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

But that's just because I'm a drag queen. I'm not like, fina, where I own all these albums.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

And after Madonna, I was like, damn. Lifelong fan now.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

After Beyonce, I was like, I now would walk into traffic for that person.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know. I was like, now I just really wish I had seen the Mrs. Carter show, because I want to see her do blow.

[Trixie Mattel]

People say that. That was a wonderful concert too. It's interesting to go and talk to people who've seen her three, four, five times.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's the only.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The big gag of the night was we rolled up into the parking lot, and they were like, $100.

[Trixie Mattel]

For parking.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

$100.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did they sell you one of those bags?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No. Oh, they did. I got it.

[Trixie Mattel]

They said to me, you have to have a clear bag. So I paid $10 for a clear bag. No one asked about a clear bag.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Sweet. That's amazing.

[Trixie Mattel]

So now it's my Beyonce concert merch. I have a clear vinyl bag.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They. I got a embroidered denim jacket and a little rucksack, courtesy of Spotify.

[Trixie Mattel]

They're very nice.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. And that was. I just. I thought that was so cunt. They were like. I was like, how much is parking? Like, a hundred dollars.

[Trixie Mattel]

You better work.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I was like, okay. I guess it was a $50 show.

[Trixie Mattel]

Because, you know, I know in Englewood, I'm like, rent, here's 100.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But I married, like, after the. The insult in the crime of, like, a $3,000 ticket. You're going to slap me with $100 parking? That's so crazy.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, Englewood is in L. A, which means everything is still crazy expensive. And they got you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They got.

[Trixie Mattel]

They know you want to see Beyonce.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

However, I will give them this. Mama. We were in and out of that parking lot in record time. Those whores know how to, like, get that hamster wheel rolling.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Because we were. I was so impressed how early I got home.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I was like, this is gonna be a nightmare. 10,000 people or whatever.

[Trixie Mattel]

I, like, left that concert in the car in shock.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was just, like, it took me days to honestly even process what I saw.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I agree. I agree. And also, it took me days not to get like. I'm like, oh, I'm being so annoying about this, you know, because it's really, like, it was crazy.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was calling people and being like, have you heard the good news?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was very mission. I was like, she converted me.

[Trixie Mattel]

I called my brother who, you know, let's just say is not on the same political side of life as me, and I said, I think that she created something that you and I would both enjoy for different reasons. Not in a bad way.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think this is like a concert that could heal America.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She puts one heel on the dresser on the and the red states, and the other heel and the dresser in the blue state, and she shits everybody. It's fierce.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Shout out to Beyonce. She is going to be on the pod next week.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So, yes, we have Beyonce, Kelly, and Michelle. And then we have Tina Knowles, of course, promoting her new book. And then Kris Jenner, of course, my.

[Trixie Mattel]

My Tina Knowles new book that says I gave birth to Beyonce. Hey, what's up with that? Okay, bye. You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed. Stop struggling to get your job posts seen on other job sites with Indeed sponsored jobs. Your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates so you can reach the people you want faster. According to Indeed data, sponsored jobs posted directly on indeed have 45% more applications than non sponsored jobs. Don't wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit. To get your jobs more visibility@ Indeed.com Arts, just go to Indeed.com Arts right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need.