Podcast Summary: The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya Episode: Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie Release Date: December 10, 2024

Introduction of the Guest

In this vibrant episode of The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya, hosts Trixie and Katya welcome the esteemed Bruce Vilanch, a luminary in the world of comedy writing, acting, and singing. Vilanch's illustrious career includes writing for numerous award shows, including the Academy Awards, and serving as a judge on RuPaul's Drag Race. The hosts kick off the conversation with enthusiastic applause, highlighting the excitement of having such a multifaceted guest on the show.

Host (03:05): "You guys, we're in the studio today. Oh my gosh. Obviously we have Bruce Vilanch here. Clap, clap, clap."

Bruce Vilanch (03:07): "Sorry, I'm, I'm very busy looking at the microphone."

Early Career and Child Modeling

The discussion delves into Vilanch's early days, revealing his brief stint as a child model for Lane Bryant. Although his modeling career was short-lived, it set the stage for his later endeavors in entertainment.

Bruce Vilanch (32:01): "I was briefly for Lane Bryant, which was no longer among us. But it was like plus size fashions for the forgotten woman for children. But they decided there were not enough fat women in the country, so they were looking for fat kids."

Vilanch humorously recounts how his weight fluctuations eventually sidelined his modeling aspirations, leaving him without photographs from that era—a fact he views as a blessing in disguise.

Bruce Vilanch (32:19): "It could be. I may have to. And if Lane Bryant is gone, they can't sue you. They can't there. And they'd be dead."

Writing for Television and The Brady Bunch Variety Hour

One of the episode's focal points is Vilanch's work on the Brady Bunch Variety Hour. He provides an insider's perspective on the challenges and eccentricities of writing for such iconic television shows.

Bruce Vilanch (33:15): "I was at the Fake Jan auditions. And it came down to two girls. One was Jerry Reichel, who got the part. And the other was the girl who became Kathy Hilton, mother of Paris."

Vilanch shares anecdotes about casting decisions, including the infamous "Fake Jan" auditions, where Kathy Hilton was nearly cast as the Brady family’s matriarch, Jan Brady.

Host (35:04): "She was the almost fake Jan. She was 3D printing dollies. Suspend disbelief, if you will."

He humorously describes the production challenges, such as incorporating water ballet into the variety show format, resulting in both comedic and chaotic moments on set.

Bruce Vilanch (37:38): "So we had the Croft water ballerinas, and it was hysterical because it was water. It was supposed to be the pool at their house at the beach."

Experiences on Hollywood Squares

Vilanch's tenure as a head writer for Hollywood Squares brings forth a wealth of stories about the show's dynamic environment. He touches upon the intensity of writing for a live, grid-based game show and shares memorable interactions with celebrities like Gilbert Gottfried and Penn and Teller.

Bruce Vilanch (43:03): "People begin to lose it because it's so insane. It's like things you never expected would happen."

He highlights a particularly memorable clip involving a contestant repeatedly being called a "fool" by Gottfried, exemplifying the unpredictable nature of live television.

Drag Performance and RuPaul's Drag Race

A significant portion of the conversation centers around Vilanch's involvement in the drag community, especially his role as a judge and mentor on RuPaul's Drag Race. He discusses the evolution of drag performances from traditional satire to the multifaceted, talent-driven competition seen today.

Bruce Vilanch (48:20): "Even the ones who aren't funny obviously have got people coming in with, you know, advising them when they create this Persona that they're going to use on the show. So it's a whole different ballgame now."

Vilanch reflects on the increased demands placed on contestants, who now must exhibit a range of skills beyond lip-syncing, including comedy, singing, dancing, and craftmanship in costume design.

Host (51:06): "Do you have any memories of doing drag? Drag Race? You've done that three times."

Bruce Vilanch (51:18): "I was Santa Claus once. That's right, in an early one. And then I was a comedy mentor and a judge four or five times."

Broadway and Musical Endeavors

Vilanch recounts his Broadway experiences, notably his role in the national tour and Broadway production of Hairspray. He describes the rigorous demands of touring and performing in a musical setting, balanced humorously with the physical challenges of wearing heavy costumes.

Bruce Vilanch (48:43): "I did Hairspray for two years in New York. On Broadway. Yeah, I did a year, the first national tour and then on Broadway for a year."

He shares insights into the physical toll of performing in drag, including wearing a 35-pound fat suit and high heels, leading to issues requiring a foot brace after years of performances.

Bruce Vilanch (50:02): "I'm convinced I never missed a show. But it's because your body is used to carrying your weight around a certain way. And when you change that, all your joints say, hold on, we're going to realign you now."

Authorship and Memoir

Vilanch introduces his book, "It Seemed Like a Bad Idea at the Time," which chronicles his experiences writing some of television's most infamous shows and movies. He candidly discusses his role in creating content that has become legendary for its lack of quality.

Bruce Vilanch (09:07): "I'm wearing one right now. The Paul Lynde Halloween special. Because I refuse to let. I don't care how early Mariah Carey makes us love Christmas, I am hanging on to Halloween."

Host (09:55): "I have to tell you, I went on your Twitter. Have you been on your Twitter for a while?"

Vilanch humorously speaks about his limited presence on social media, acknowledging the existence of impersonators and fake accounts proliferating online.

Collaborations and Future Projects

The conversation shifts to Vilanch's ongoing and future projects, including a musical written in collaboration with Dolly Parton titled "Here Youe Come Again." The musical explores themes of isolation and self-discovery through a fantastical relationship with an imaginary friend modeled after Parton.

Bruce Vilanch (44:34): "We wrote it together with her husband Gabriel Barry, who is a director who directed it. And we got a grant and we did a Zoom and I had to go to Dolly for the rights and I didn't think she would go for it. But she loves it. She's our partner and we did five regional productions and now we're doing a six-month tour of the UK and we will be going into London after the first of the year."

He elaborates on the creative process and the collaborative nature of the project, expressing enthusiasm for its tour in the UK.

Insights on Award Shows and Entertainment Industry

Vilanch provides a deep dive into the intricacies of writing for various award shows, comparing the chaos of the Grammys to the structured elegance of the Tonys. He emphasizes the unique challenges posed by different genres, such as the highly performative nature of music awards versus the theatrical consistency of theater awards.

Bruce Vilanch (52:58): "I think it's probably the Grammys because it's all musicians. And also, of course, it's become a concert show, and it always was, but it had a host who was more hosty."

He shares his preference for writing awards that are more straightforward and less reliant on the unpredictable nature of live performances seen in music-centric events.

Bruce Vilanch (53:54): "They are. And they are at the top of their game. They're doing these numbers eight times a week that they do all the time."

Personal Reflections and Humor

Throughout the episode, Vilanch infuses his stories with humor and self-deprecation, making light of his experiences and the absurdities of the entertainment world. He reflects on the pressures of maintaining one's image in the public eye and the often surreal nature of fame.

Bruce Vilanch (22:44): "Oh, that's me. Or that could have been fake me. There are a lot of fake mes out there."

Bruce Vilanch (24:21): "This is from George Slaughter, who created Laugh Inlet. Hysterically funny. He said, it's a guy picks up a girl at a bar and they go home and she says, you want to get kinky? And he says, yeah. And she says, hang on, I'll change. And she comes downstairs about five minutes later and he's on his way out the door. She says, where are you going? I thought you wanted to be kinky. He said, yeah, I did. I shit in your hat and fucked your cat. I'm out of here."

These anecdotes not only entertain but also provide a glimpse into Vilanch's quick wit and ability to find humor in any situation.

Closing Remarks and Future Engagements

As the episode wraps up, the hosts express their gratitude for Vilanch's presence and insightful contributions. They discuss the possibility of future collaborations and appearances, emphasizing the lasting impact of Vilanch's work on the entertainment industry.

Host (54:55): "Well, Bruce, I can't thank you enough for coming down here and talking to me."

Bruce Vilanch (55:12): "Because he knows more than I and he publishes all the rumors and all that kind of stuff. And it's not true about me and Zac Efron. I'm sorry. It's just not true. I couldn't. With anybody that muscular who's Jewish. I couldn't."

The episode concludes on a light-hearted note, with hosts and Vilanch sharing final laughs and farewells, leaving listeners with a sense of camaraderie and anticipation for future episodes.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Bruce Vilanch (09:07): "I've written a book about how I wrote the worst TV shows of all time and lived. And it's called 'It Seemed like a Bad Idea at the Time.'"

• Host (22:14): "I have to tell you, I went on your Twitter. Have you been on your Twitter for a while?"

• Bruce Vilanch (43:03): "People begin to lose it because it's so insane. It's like things you never expected would happen."

• Bruce Vilanch (53:54): "They are. And they are at the top of their game. They're doing these numbers eight times a week that they do all the time."

• Bruce Vilanch (55:27): "It's not true. They got married first, so it was in wedlock. So it's okay."

Conclusion

This episode of The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya offers an engaging and comprehensive look into Bruce Vilanch's multifaceted career in the entertainment industry. From his early days as a child model to his influential roles in television writing, drag performance, and Broadway, Vilanch shares anecdotes that are both humorous and enlightening. His insights into the evolution of drag culture, the complexities of writing for live award shows, and his personal projects provide listeners with a rich understanding of his impact on comedy and performance art. The dynamic interaction between the hosts and Vilanch ensures that the episode is not only informative but also thoroughly entertaining, making it a must-listen for fans of the podcast and enthusiasts of the entertainment world alike.