Commuter? I Hardly Know Her! with Trixie and Katya

Summary

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

Episode: “Commuter? I Hardly Know Her!”
Date: July 14, 2026
Hosts: Trixie and Katya

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Overview:

This episode radiates classic Trixie and Katya energy—equal parts irreverent, chaotic, and confessional—as the queens share travel misadventures, public transit observations, festival drama, sexy ASMR tangents, and even hypothetical blue-collar romances. Seamlessly swinging from high camp to heartfelt, the duo explores everything from commuter woes to bodily weirdness to British etiquette, all through the lens of their drag-queen-meets-late-night-surrealist humor.

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Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. Clockness Ever Tea & Healing Updates (01:34 – 04:00)

• Katya starts, riffing on “Clockness Ever Tea” (a pun on Katniss Everdeen, “the girl on fire”), then calls out Trixie for her usual headphone-jumping routine.
• Trixie jokes about being injured and searching for “crack crumbs” on the floor.
• They laugh about contact lenses, recalling when hard lenses were a luxury for “rich” kids.

“Contacts used to be like—you know how tires used to be made out of metal? Now they went to rubber.” — Trixie (02:34)

• Conversations spiral into childhood privilege (“used BMWs = Queen of Sheba”), and absurd slang (“unc” and “fam”), peaking in jokes about circumcision.

2. Relationship Labels & Situationships (05:05 – 06:00)

• Katya quizzes Trixie about “situationships”—those liminal romances that aren’t quite relationships.

“It’s people not wanting to be in a relationship, but wanting to see one person without calling it a relationship. It’s a ship, but it’s not a ship at all. It’s a dinghy. That’s a dingy ship.” — Katya (05:17)

3. LA Commuter Life & Studio Moves (06:43 – 12:26)

Biking, Baldness, and Public Transit

• Katya contemplates taking the LA train, is warned to “blaze the trail,” and shares the bald advantage: “You don’t have helmet hair!”
• They riff on the social perils of helmets: “Would you avoid a helmet because you don’t want to show up chopped?” — Trixie (08:44)

Studio Shopping in Sketchy LA

• Katya reveals she’s scoping a new studio—“an available mall…22,000 sq. ft. for $5?”
• Trixie warns: “Are you willing to put your heavy, expensive equipment in the middle of Mad Max Fury Road?” (10:05)
• A hilarious tangent about neighborhood safety and “tweaker” vibes ensues.

4. Public Transit in London (& International Commuter Faux Pas) (12:13 – 17:37)

• Katya details learning British escalator etiquette (“stand on the right, walk on the left”)—and getting scolded by a local.

“She goes, ‘You’re meant to stand on the right,’ and I go, ‘Thank you, officer.’ Yelled it, proud to be an American!” — Katya (15:12)

• British audiences, she muses, have zero tolerance for tourists flouting rules.
• Trixie reflects on cultural differences: “In Wisconsin, we just go, ‘I’m gonna scooch past you!’”
• They discuss the aggressive rudeness vs. passive niceness of British vs. Midwestern transit cultures.

5. UK Culture & Food Observations (25:53 – 27:36)

• Katya apologizes to the UK for making fun of it and admits British recipes aren’t her favorite, but quality ingredients make everything better.
• Trixie admits she doesn’t do “British food” per se, but loves the international food scene in London—especially Indian and Thai.

6. Katya’s London Trip: Matinees, Sickness, and The Hunger Games Live (27:39 – 31:34)

• Katya explains traveling while sick (“fighting for my life”), including missing out on Jinkx Monsoon’s show and leaving The Hunger Games stage adaptation at intermission due to nausea.
• She praises the immersive staging (theater-in-the-round, real fire!), and shouts out John Malkovich as pre-recorded President Snow.

“He just beams in on TVs. That’s still cunty, though.” — Trixie (32:32)

7. Mighty Hoopla Festival: Drag in the Heat and Technical Mishaps (33:00 – 40:30)

• Katya DJed in punishing London heat, reflecting on the pressure to look perfect in drag while “gagging in a tent.”
• She name-checks Violet and Gottmik, marvels at being professionally ignored by Violet (“It’s an honor to be ignored by her”), and shouts out Jodie Harsh.
• Festival drama strikes when Katya’s attempt to move a stage fan accidentally causes an electrical short—sparks fly, music cuts out, but she recovers with poise.

“That’s never happened to me. Didn’t know that could happen. Live and learn, I guess.” — Katya (39:00-40:30)

8. ASMR, Weird YouTube, and Secret Online Lives (51:11 – 55:47)

• Katya and Trixie bond over ASMR videos, especially those for relaxation rather than fantasy boyfriend scenarios.

“I do fluffy mic sounds with whispers. I don’t need literary illusions… I just need that even tone.” — Trixie (53:08)

• They spiral into YouTube recommendations: VR grannies, “men smashing TVs watching sports,” and “Asian insurance scam frauds.”
• Existential musing: Why do sports fans destroy their TVs? “Why are you more upset than the players?” — Katya (55:47)

9. Electricians, Gratitude for Tradespeople, & Lusty Musings (47:31 – 61:25)

• Trixie humorously laments the lack of electricians in her romantic life: “Why is it so impossible for me to jack off an electrician in my home?” (47:31)
• Both queens heap adoration (and tip generously) on skilled tradespeople, sparking more fantasies of jacking off blue-collar workers—strictly off the clock, totally consensual and not transactional.
• “If you come to my house to do any kind of work… the gratitude I feel in my heart, I will kiss your feet as you leave. I’ll braid your hair.” — Katya (61:14)
• They riff on Beyoncé as a hypothetical tradeswoman, capable of plumbing, drywall, and stucco.

10. Recommendations & Cultural Catch-Up (62:01 – 64:00)

• Katya reminisces about the show “Cobra Credit” and sets a high bar for live entertainment.
• The conversation turns to Broadway, nostalgia for “Paranormal Activity: The Play,” and surprise elements in theater.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On British etiquette:
  “Thank you, officer! Yelled it, proud to be an American.” — Katya (15:12)

• On festival fashion:
  “I'm wearing pink pleather, nasty clothes, giant pussy bunny hair. So thorny. I looked so good!” — Katya (33:12)

• On technical disasters:
  “The fan chops the electrical wire. Sparks fly like Final Destination. The power goes out. My nightmare!” — Katya (38:20)

• On tradespeople love:
  “There is another service I provide, free of charge: jacking [electricians] off until they want to come or not come. It’s really none of my business.” — Trixie (60:42)

• On YouTube chaos:
  “Compilations of men watching sports and breaking their own television, standing up, punching the TV, throwing the remote…” — Katya (55:11)

• On lesbian lubricant evangelism:
  “The number of lesbian women in my life who have grabbed both my arms and said, ‘lube, have you tried coconut oil?’ I think the lesbians are in with big coconut.” — Katya (58:33)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:34 — Clockness Ever Tea, Contacts, Rich Kids Nostalgia
• 05:05 — Situationships & Modern Romance
• 06:43 — LA Commuting and Train Blazing
• 09:49 — Abandoned LA Malls & Neighborhood Safety
• 12:13 — London Tube Etiquette Humiliation
• 15:12 — Confrontation: “Thank you, officer!” Escalator Showdown
• 25:53 — UK Culture, Quality Food Ingredients
• 27:39 — Sickness in London, The Hunger Games Live Mishap
• 33:00 — Mighty Hoopla DJ Set, Drag in the Heat, Technical Fail
• 39:00 — Onstage Electrical Disaster & Recovery
• 47:31 — Electrician Fantasies & Tradesperson Worship
• 53:08 — ASMR & YouTube Wormholes
• 55:11 — Rage-TV-Smashing Compilations
• 58:33 — Coconut Oil, Lesbian Culture, and DIY Lubrication
• 62:01 — High Standards for Entertainment, Music Festival FOMO

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Tone & Style Highlights

• Camp, quick wit, and queer warmth: The rapid-fire banter and constant riffing create an atmosphere that’s both loopy and oddly intimate.
• Surreal humor & niche references: Jokes about “flying squirrel circumcisions,” Beyoncé handling drywall, and “Mount Rushmost” are quintessentially Trixie and Katya.
• Confessional authenticity: Both hosts share real travel woes, health updates, and slice-of-life details with an honesty that keeps the absurdity grounded.

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For listeners who missed the episode: expect a wild ride through LA commutes, British subways, festival chaos, and the queens’ emotional interiors—woven together with off-kilter jokes, drag wisdom, and boundless affection for life’s weirdest moments.

Transcript

[Katia]

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[Katia]

I have been trying to say this to you for days. Clockness Ever Tea. I've just been thinking about it non stop. Clockness Ever Tea. I Clockness Ever Tea. The girl on fire.

[Pixie]

That is. That is. That's. No, that's deep. That's deep. That's not a laughing matter.

[Katia]

Because super cut of you on this pod taking off your headphones and jumping. Can you do it now? Oh yeah.

[Pixie]

Don't.

[Katia]

Oh, maybe you're too injured right now.

[Pixie]

I think I have a booger in my nose.

[Katia]

How's your healing? She's healing. Healing Journeys. She's clocking the T. Hey, what are you doing on the floor?

[Pixie]

Searching for crack crumbs.

[Katia]

She dropped her contact. Is it true that contact lenses used to be hard?

[Pixie]

Oh girl. Wait, hold on.

[Katia]

Why don't you pull the mic up to your face too? Come on Clockness, put the headphones on. Clocky with the headphones in. Is it true that contact lens used to be.

[Pixie]

Yes, it used to be like. Yes, like you know how tires used to Be made out of metal. Now they went to rubber.

[Katia]

Okay, touch my hand. Okay.

[Sponsor Voice]

Okay.

[Katia]

But did they really?

[Sponsor Voice]

Yes.

[Pixie]

They used to be like. Like saucers. Cuz I don't think salad bowls.

[Katia]

I don't think contacts are very comfortable to begin with.

[Pixie]

Thank you.

[Sponsor Voice]

No.

[Pixie]

And. But, but think about it. They're like little, little lens goggles.

[Katia]

Like so they were hard.

[Pixie]

I think so.

[Katia]

If you look at they shadow like glasses.

[Pixie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they. I think also if you got hammered in the eye, which shattered.

[Katia]

I gone like I'm old enough that when I was in like middle school, if someone had contacts, they were like rich.

[Pixie]

No, I think you're right.

[Katia]

It was like. It was like family. Yeah.

[Pixie]

Like we had a girl. There was a girl in our high school who drove a used BMW. We thought she was the Queen of Sheba girl. What about that? Like the 95 BMW? Well, no, the 85 BMW. The go at auction where her guy fell off a truck. You know what I mean? And then she was balling.

[Katia]

They were.

[Pixie]

She was balling fam. She was balling fam. Wait, wait, wait. NASA. NASA. Instagram. Sing NASA.

[Katia]

Put your clothes on.

[Pixie]

Picture of a galaxy. She's like. She's not chopped un. She's a galaxy. I was like, it. It's. It press just rhymed. NASA said that. They said chopped Unk or no cap family.

[Katia]

Gabriel Gastelum. Gabriel Gastela asked me if it. These aren't even uncut.

[Pixie]

These aren't even.

[Katia]

He thought it was. He thought it was circumcision related. Okay, well, I didn't mean.

[Pixie]

What does uncle mean? What does uncle mean? I'm gonna just like an older man because I can't even hear anything.

[Katia]

Like a friend of. Well, a friend of fam. Well, it is fam. So uncle, it's the brother of your parent.

[Pixie]

But isn't that a little redundant? Like, hey, ankle. Yeah.

[Katia]

I don't think you say unc fam.

[Pixie]

You say.

[Katia]

No, I've only heard it say like, that's. That's unk.

[Pixie]

Why is unk so chopped, fam?

[Katia]

Well, that's you addressing your family about your.

[Pixie]

So now to your point though, or Gabriel's point, doesn't it seem like unc would be chopped because he's uncut. Thank you.

[Katia]

Why are we still doing that? We're not.

[Pixie]

Oh. Oh, no. Oh, circumcision. This is different.

[Katia]

If I were a kid, I would start a revolution. I would.

[Pixie]

Let's not. Let's not mangle my baby's penis.

[Katia]

Thank you. In fact, yeah. Give me this extra. Let's do extra skin.

[Pixie]

Iou.

[Katia]

Let's.

[Pixie]

You owe me.

[Katia]

I want them to have enough skin so in the future, if they ever get in a car accident, they can fly. They get circumcised. They still have skin to use for graphs. Absolutely.

[Pixie]

Or they can flying squirrel themselves out of a situation. Situationship.

[Katia]

Do you know about this? Do you know that the. What is a situationship?

[Pixie]

That's a really good question. It's. We have. We're in a situation right now.

[Katia]

I don't want to judge. I just think it has to do

[Pixie]

with people who are non binary.

[Katia]

No, no, no, no. I think it has to do with people not wanting to be in a relationship, but wanting to see and one person but not call it a relationship. I think it's a ship at all. It's a ship.

[Pixie]

Yeah. Yeah. It's not a dinghy. That's a dingy ship.

[Katia]

Right?

[Pixie]

A ding.

[Sponsor Voice]

Are.

[Pixie]

Are we on the Queen Mary Ding dong?

[Katia]

Where are all the Queen Mary tissue paper walls?

[Pixie]

Tissue paper walls and no ghosts, please.

[Katia]

No air conditioning.

[Pixie]

No ghosts.

[Katia]

A girl at that point let me burn in my house.

[Sponsor Voice]

Thank you.

[Katia]

I know. That's horrible.

[Pixie]

No, no, no, no, no. I don't want to drive all the way down to Long beach to have no privacy and no ghosts if you're going to have tissue paper. Thin walls, I'm going to hear. I'm going to uncan. Fams like fight all night long.

[Katia]

Clockness, everything.

[Pixie]

If I'm going to try to no cap their tea all night.

[Katia]

I have so much to talk to you about, which is so crazy. So first of all, nobody said anything about my outfit, and I just feel just like fun. And cockatoo shirt toes are kind of fun.

[Pixie]

So you're giving Unk, unk, unk. No cap.

[Katia]

Yeah, well, cap. My boyfriend bought me these and he said you never wear the clothes I buy you. So I just wanted to, like, show.

[Pixie]

One big toenail.

[Katia]

Yeah, one big toenail. Do you think I should paint it or do it acrylic? You would do an acrylic?

[Pixie]

A gel coat at least on top.

[Katia]

Something, right?

[Pixie]

Some. A clear coat.

[Katia]

What about a French tip with a. With a palm tree?

[Pixie]

But it already is a French tip. You see that, fam?

[Katia]

Do you see that? Bam. And then. You know how I'd be buying that?

[Pixie]

I don't.

[Katia]

I'd be up late smoking weed, buying that. I don't know. Look at this shirt. And it's umbrella cockatoo in front of the moon.

[Pixie]

I'm gonna, it showed up at my

[Katia]

house and I thought pr. Well, you bought it, Mary.

[Pixie]

You know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna raise your. I'm gonna raise your glass like pink.

[Sponsor Voice]

And then

[Pixie]

will you hold this white

[Katia]

one down while I raise this one up? I will hold this white one down. Does that mean you see her? Yeah. You like this? Oh, am I supposed to like it?

[Pixie]

No, no, no. You're just supposed to notice it.

[Katia]

Why are you wearing two shirts?

[Pixie]

Witness me.

[Katia]

Why are you wearing two exact.

[Pixie]

No, no, because this is a. This is from the Bible and we don'. Play that.

[Katia]

But why are you wearing it then? Because I.

[Pixie]

Because.

[Katia]

Well, have you read the Bible?

[Pixie]

No.

[Katia]

Whitney used to do coke and read

[Sponsor Voice]

the Bible and look where she got to the top.

[Katia]

Heaven.

[Pixie]

No, I, it's, it's to soak up the nasty from my scar.

[Katia]

Oh, really?

[Pixie]

Yes, I soak up the nasty because this shirt was quite expensive and it's lovely, it's very good quality. This I got at Ross for $1. Yeah, honestly, it's to soak up the nasty which almost penetrated my, my sheets under the layer.

[Katia]

You think I should start taking the train? Because I. Everybody says the train to downtown in LA is really cunt. And I kind of think it probably is. But every time I tell people barely want me to bike in.

[Pixie]

No, no, no, no, no. I, I was. So you need to be a trail. You have been in this position and I'm not being. I'm not joking. I am joking a little bit. Well, you don't need to ask permission. You need to blaze the trail.

[Katia]

Right?

[Pixie]

You always do that. Every other area of entertainment. You don't wait for someone to become a dj. You don't wait for someone to do that. So why are you waiting? What Gwen Stefani?

[Katia]

Well, this is the thing. I bike to my studio.

[Pixie]

Yeah.

[Katia]

And because I bike down Holly Boulevard, people look at me like I'm trying to kill myself. Might I remind you. Yes, of course I have a helmet. Why are we whispering?

[Pixie]

I don't know. Okay.

[Katia]

Just in case anybody. And I think that's one of the only advantages being bald is you don't have helmet hair. You can get somewhere and whip off the helmet. Cuz I think a lot of people endanger their lives cuz they don't want to have helmet hair.

[Pixie]

And that is so. No, no, you're right. You're.

[Katia]

Would you, would you avoid a helmet because you're like, oh, I don't want,

[Pixie]

even though they're not you to know that I'M chopped.

[Sponsor Voice]

You're not.

[Pixie]

She's not acting. She's not going to show up. Chopped as the appointment unk.

[Katia]

Also, she's like the brand of les. She would have, like, elbow pads, knee pads, head, like.

[Pixie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Katia]

Mouth guard.

[Pixie]

You would look like one of those crash test dummies.

[Katia]

No roller derby. Roller derby vibes.

[Pixie]

Roller girl.

[Katia]

I've never seen a roller derby.

[Pixie]

It's intense. It's fierce. Is it supportive?

[Katia]

Is it supportive of. Of women? Or is it clapping for violence for women?

[Pixie]

Why can't both of. Well, I can't bother.

[Katia]

Oh, my God, girl. Have. Have you.

[Pixie]

Wait, wait. Let's go back to the subway. Yes.

[Katia]

I think it'll be fun. I was looking at this new. Because I have to move studio. I want a new studio. I wanted a studio, and I'm trying to find something not too expensive. And over there, close to MacArthur park, there's an. There's an abandoned mall. Okay, not MacArthur. Oh, is that. No. Oh, not MacArthur Park.

[Pixie]

It's like tweaker.

[Katia]

I mean, tell me, Donna Summer. Yeah, Mary, I've heard someone left the cake out in the rain.

[Pixie]

You know what they did with the

[Katia]

cake when I get killed?

[Pixie]

You know what they did with the cake, Mama? They put. They put the pookie in it, okay? And they scooped out all the frosting and then they jerked off, okay?

[Katia]

Because I saw this abandoned mall. Not abandoned. Empty. Available.

[Sponsor Voice]

Okay,

[Katia]

Available.

[Pixie]

I say empty. It was like.

[Katia]

It was like. It was like 22. I was like 22,000 square feet. I'm like $5. It was really cheap, okay?

[Pixie]

Because you can. You get what you pay for. And you have to ask yourself, am I willing to. To put all of my heavy, heavy, expensive equipment in the middle of. Of Mad Max Fury Road?

[Katia]

It.

[Pixie]

That's what it is.

[Katia]

I also think it might be open to the street.

[Pixie]

Okay, okay, okay. Let's pump the brakes.

[Katia]

I say you should go visit and see why it should not be.

[Pixie]

Mama, you will gag.

[Katia]

You will.

[Pixie]

Yeah, but you better tape that hat down because it's going to.

[Katia]

Oh, I thought you meant they were gonna try to steal both. Don't you think they would try to take these?

[Pixie]

They would take those. And then your hat would blow off in the wind because you'd be like, yeah, you would be picked somebody toes like a carcass.

[Katia]

Uno. So my cankles and my white. My white socks.

[Pixie]

Oh, girl, tell us, girl.

[Katia]

Woke up in these socks.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Katia]

Lately I've been waking up in my outfits and just punching it again. Like, if I don't. If I don't see anything in the. If I don't see a stain, we're throwing it back. This is vintage from yesterday. This is a really hot trend yesterday and it's even hotter today because it's hot. Cuz it's hot. So no, it looked like an available mall.

[Pixie]

Okay, well.

[Katia]

And I was looking at on the map fallout. And I said, wow, this subway entrance in LA is like two blocks from my house and it lets out a block from this. How for me to get downtown in 20 minutes. The traffic.

[Pixie]

Yeah. No, that's fierce.

[Katia]

Part of me is like, because I'm not. I'm not a discriminator to public transit in Milwaukee. I write it all the time.

[Pixie]

I did the same thing in Boston. It was fierce.

[Katia]

When you know the routes, it's lovely. I was just in London. I took the cheap.

[Pixie]

The tube. Oh, I have a great story for you also. It free. Not to belabor the point, but it frees you up to do all types of other things like enjoy the music catalog at our disposal 24. 7.

[Katia]

Absolutely.

[Pixie]

Write a love net, a love letter. Write a letter to John.

[Katia]

Pluck a hair.

[Pixie]

Pluck a hair vibe. Do anything but not get killed in an automobile.

[Katia]

Let's say we're on the train. You're sitting. I'm sitting. What if I just go. Hi. Hello.

[Pixie]

Hello.

[Katia]

I would like to fill out a job application. You know.

[Pixie]

Yeah. Hi, Unk.

[Katia]

Hi, Un.

[Pixie]

No cap fan.

[Katia]

And I think when you think public transit, everyone loves a talker.

[Pixie]

Oh, it's there, it's encouraged. They're not really going anywhere. They're looking for conversation.

[Katia]

Chat rooms used to be the subway. The subway, you just go down there and say asl. Hi.

[Pixie]

Yeah. My God.

[Katia]

I was in London, I took the train and okay, when you're going down

[Pixie]

in London, you're going downtown. Yeah. It's very under, underground, subterranean.

[Katia]

So you gotta take 63.

[Sponsor Voice]

Really?

[Pixie]

Yeah.

[Katia]

You're making that up. You gotta take this escalator down. And I didn't know you guys saw my choice that you're meant to stand on the right.

[Pixie]

Yeah.

[Katia]

And walk on the left.

[Pixie]

You didn't know that?

[Katia]

Well, I guess I knew, but I'm like, you know, I'm like, wow, the tube. I'm looking around, I'm. You know. I don't know. And what year was it? January 10th, 1863. Holy shit.

[Marlene]

Thank you.

[Katia]

Wow, Tatler. Wow, Tatler. Really happy we

[Pixie]

that. Come on. That was before the Civil War, honey. Okay, Fam, fam.

[Katia]

We have no way of knowing whether the Civil war even happened. Do you know that people think dinosaurs are fake?

[Pixie]

Well, that's my girl. Those are my people. So dinosaurs next time. Next thing you tell me the Holocaust happened.

[Katia]

Well, don't even get me started on aliens because disclosure day is coming and Spielberg knows something we don't.

[Pixie]

Spielberg is so tuned in, tapped and turned on.

[Katia]

We.

[Pixie]

He'd been new girl ever since E.T.

[Katia]

she said E.T. was basically a doc. I know the moon landing was not an actress. No, she was filmed in the home. They were making the real World. It was drag race.

[Pixie]

People say I'm over the moon. They were talking about Spielberg. I didn't know you're over the moon.

[Katia]

I want to know about it.

[Pixie]

I know it's never too late. It's never too late to know the

[Katia]

truth, but it's always so early.

[Pixie]

So, okay, London tube.

[Katia]

Okay, so I'm going on the tube and I'm with my lover and I'm like, this is the tube. And you know, I'm very public transit savvy. I love public transit. It's amazing.

[Pixie]

Yeah.

[Katia]

Transportation is a huge barrier for everybody and I think public transit gets a bad rap.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Pixie]

I mean, think about what happened from 1860 to 1865. The tube.

[Katia]

Absolutely.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Katia]

But did they dig all those holes?

[Sponsor Voice]

Maybe.

[Pixie]

What do you think they did? Thought about it?

[Katia]

Well, I thought maybe they used to be sewers, probably.

[Pixie]

Well, I don't know.

[Katia]

Because if you dig under city, why isn't it collapsing? Is that stupid to say?

[Marlene]

No, it's not stupid to say.

[Pixie]

It's. We should get an urban planner up in here.

[Katia]

I shouldn't be asking. I'll just shut up. I'll shut my boat up and sit down. Shut the fuck up. So I'm this woman, you know, people are using it to get to work. She's carrying her purse. Oh, okay. I'm acting. I was like, she's carrying her purse.

[Sponsor Voice]

I thought you brought.

[Pixie]

I thought you went like this.

[Katia]

Oh, sorry. She had a broad sword. She had just killed somebody. So she's walking and she goes, you're meant to stand on the right. And I went, oh, damn. I probably. I think she. And I bet you all the British people watching this will go, she was right to yell at you. Get out of the way. And I get it now.

[Sponsor Voice]

Let me.

[Pixie]

Give me your body language. Shut the scenario.

[Katia]

I was just like smiling and laughing with my boyfriend, like, haha.

[Pixie]

So he was on the right, you were on the left.

[Katia]

Okay, so he was on the right standing And I was like 45 degrees in front of him. Turned around, so you're looking up at the escalator talking to him. So I see her coming and I'm just talking. And then she goes, you're meant to stand on the right. And I go, oh, but I'm me and I. I can't be spoken to that way by people I don't know.

[Pixie]

What did you say?

[Katia]

I said, thank you, officer. Yelled it proud to be in America. She goes like this. Or at least I know how. She really ate it up. She thought, really? She really ate it up. She goes, welcome to London. It kept walking.

[Sponsor Voice]

Ew.

[Katia]

Welcome to London.

[Pixie]

Welcome to London.

[Katia]

Welcome to London.

[Pixie]

No.

[Katia]

Do you know who I am? I just DJed in a 97 degree Fahrenheit tent at Mighty Hoopla.

[Pixie]

None.

[Katia]

Nice cubes.

[Pixie]

There were none.

[Katia]

That ice cube is now a cloud of steam in the sky.

[Pixie]

You could rather, you could sooner the actual man ice cube than you could have a chance at seeing or touching or enjoying an ice cube in your drink.

[Katia]

Absolutely. So I don't. I do feel bad about being in the wrong way, but guess what? London is a city that is all tourists. And I. I'm sorry. I just want to say I'm sorry to the London community for standing. And I will never. I'll shut up.

[Pixie]

And also, here's the thing, you know, sometimes less is more with the words. Because what she could have do, what she could have done and what she should have done, I think everybody will agree with me, is that it's. I don't listen to what you say. I listen. I watch what you do. So when I. When I'm barreling down there to my, like, epidemiology appointment or whatever, dermatology appointment, I'm not going to say anything. I don't know if you know, if you speak English. Okay, you look foreign. So I'm going to elbow and hip check you into the right side of the escalator and keep it punching. And then you'll have muscle memory.

[Katia]

And that could have been like a fun. Have you ever seen that? Have you ever seen that meme of like. It's like Jason in New York and he body checks that woman on the subway and she flies, I'm telling you,

[Pixie]

right through the window. Like you would have flown and then landed with like a clear all nice and easy, like hair dye job or something. I just feel like, no, no, maybe I'm too nice.

[Katia]

Not that can't be possible, but try again.

[Sponsor Voice]

But.

[Katia]

But I would never do that. Say that because it's a very aggressive rude in Wisconsin. We will go, oh, I'm just going to scooch past you.

[Pixie]

You know, like that's also work, which also works.

[Katia]

I was going to get past.

[Pixie]

Hey, hon, I hope you don't mind them because, you know, we on the left side, we go, we go. If we got somewhere to go, we just really, we got to punch it, you know, And I don't really want to bump into you because you're such a nice looking young man.

[Katia]

And I said, you know what, she's on the way to work. No, she's going to work.

[Pixie]

Her, she probably works. She probably works at the devil factory. So she's up there making pitchforks for the devil.

[Katia]

Like, I'd hate to know what happens when they're out of your shade of your foundation of the superdrug. What, someone gets shot?

[Pixie]

I think you're right. I think that this woman is condemnable. I think her actions were deplorable. I think she's an execrable human being and she should be put to death.

[Katia]

And if anybody, I'm just going to like, I'm not like, done a manhunt for her, but I'll let you guys know her name, what she looks like. I didn't catch her name, but hopefully in London. This, this, this, this narrows it down. She was a white lady.

[Pixie]

Yeah, they're like, oh, I know.

[Katia]

Does that help? Type her name in the, in the chat, please. But you know what? She, I wish she wasn't chaved out though.

[Pixie]

Okay.

[Katia]

Which I didn't see any good chav,

[Pixie]

because you were in a Newcastle.

[Katia]

I didn't see like London. Nice brown.

[Pixie]

No, no, no, no. London's not that light with the, the black stick lashes because you weren't in Newcastle. Or, or, or was it where I was like, I can't give you a facial, lover. You've just had the Botox.

[Katia]

Oh, that did happen to you, didn't it?

[Pixie]

Yeah, I can't give you facial. You just had the Botox.

[Katia]

Well, that's good advice because it'll move.

[Pixie]

But if I give you a facial and you just had the Botox, I can't do it.

[Katia]

You know, my Botox guy always says botox. He says, well, you know, if it doesn't take, you can come back in and we'll touch it up the likely. You think I'm driving back to Beverly Hills for you to stab me in the face.

[Pixie]

Well, so I just say that move. Funny, funny you should say that. That happened to Me and the price that I paid for this exorbitant amount at this med spot. I was like, I'm coming back no matter what. Yeah, I'm coming back. No, free of charge. Just to chop it up with you guys. Because this is so expensive for what I paid. Yeah, I'm chopping sleep. I have to chop this in half. Otherwise I feel like I would been. You know what? So I.

[Katia]

Well, skymed, if they do sky med you. I know they should at least do. They should start with Botox on the plane. How nice would that be?

[Pixie]

Well, I think with the air pressure, it's not that great. Really wrong, though. Well, I know. I think they should start with a low benzo drip. Here's the thing. What you do.

[Sponsor Voice]

You. You.

[Pixie]

You know how people have a. A hidden menu? This is the midnight menu. And by midnight, I mean when you're asleep, but with your consent. So. So once they. Once they pump you. Pump you full of lorazepam or some short. Short acting but very potent benzo. Maybe. Maybe Alprazam with.

[Sponsor Voice]

The doctor approves it.

[Pixie]

They have the headset on just like

[Katia]

I have a prescription for alprazam. Be careful.

[Pixie]

Panic disorder.

[Katia]

Yeah.

[Pixie]

Short acting, very.

[Katia]

Don't really take it.

[Pixie]

Good, good, that's good.

[Sponsor Voice]

That's good.

[Katia]

I get.0.25 milligrams and I break it in half. And I've taken it once.

[Pixie]

That's like a Flintstones. Chewable. That's like a Flintstone. That's like a fl.

[Katia]

I'm living, though.

[Pixie]

Yeah, that's like a. That's more of a Ms. Ms. Placebo. I know, but. No, no, no, no. But it is. That's not a joke about it works for me.

[Katia]

A present is very 0.25 for me. Butterfly in the sky.

[Pixie]

Reading Rainbow.

[Katia]

Immediately naked.

[Pixie]

Cd. CD in the boombox.

[Katia]

Immediately naked walking down Hollywood Boulevard with a boombox in West Philadelphia. Born and raised. Like living.

[Pixie]

Are you Aunt Viv? Are you the new one? Yeah.

[Katia]

1.25 milligrams of alprazole. What is it?

[Pixie]

Alprazolam.

[Katia]

Al. Is that right?

[Pixie]

Yeah. Xanax.

[Katia]

Xanax 0.25. You could do open heart surgery on tongue roll.

[Pixie]

Tongue. Eyes roll back. Tongue out. That's yours.

[Katia]

Today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by ROL. A lot of people use GLP1 and a lot of people who don't think it's going to cost a fortune. And that assumption keeps people from even looking into treatment. But the reality is there may be more affordable options than people. RO helps people find lowest cost path to FDA approved GLP1 treatment whether it's through insurance coverage or cash pay options that are more accessible than expected. I actually learned a lot about these drugs through my rheumatologist because some of the anti inflammatory benefits are astounding for rheumatology. It's crazy. GLP1s have been known for their results but also for sky high price tags and that's why the reputation alone can make people not want to reach out. But RO is changing that. RO wants to help people lose weight. That's why they have the lowest cost options out there. Whether you're paying for insurance or paying with cash, ro's free insurance checker makes it easy to see if you're covered. Just submit your insurance card and RO handles the rest. No paperwork, no waiting on hold, no confusing phone calls. Super easy and RO offers a multi month membership option in addition to multi month medications that help members prepay and save on their GLP1 medications. Just another way Ro is working to increase access to life changing medication. If you decide you want to move forward, RO can help you understand if GLP1s are right for you and your goals. But that is just the beginning. When you're a RO member, you'll have support throughout the process. You'll have access to your provider on demand for any questions. I am a GLP1 person and you should too. Go to Ro Co Bald to see if you qualify. That's Ro Co Bald. To get started on Ro, go to Ro Co Safety for boxed warning and full safety information about GLP1 medications.

[Sponsor Voice]

This episode is sponsored by Zeni Optical. Once upon a time, in a kingdom where every mattress was made of clouds and every nightstand had a tiny judgmental owl on it, there lived an ugly prince named Katio. He was not cursed by a witch, or raised by trolls, or even born under a blood red moon. No, he was ugly because every night he tried to read in bed without reading glasses, squinting so hard his face folded itself into the shape of a confused, ugly accordion. No one shall ever love me. He cried, knocking over a goblet of bone broth soup from erewhon. Even in 2026, replacing glasses feels like a Hollywood production. You schedule an appointment, pay a fortune, and then wait in an ugly fluorescent waiting room surrounded by People magazines. From 1997, Zenni Optical Fixes all of that. Zenny is an online eyewear shop with prescription glasses, sunglasses and blue light lenses starting at under $30. All you have to do is go to zenni.com, pick a frame and upload your prescription and then all you have

[Pixie]

to do is wait while they ship

[Sponsor Voice]

it to your door. No appointment, no store, no upsell at the counter. And with the price I got with my new pair of reading glasses, I stopped asking do I really need new glasses? And started asking, why wouldn't I get a second pair that matches my pajamas? That's what's so great. I saved so much money that I can get multiple pairs without worrying about getting a second job. You can too. Get the ones for work, get some fun ones, get a pair that only matches that weird sequin union suit. With over 150,000 5 star reviews and virtual try on Zenny lets you see exactly how a frame looks before you commit. Once I had mine, my nighttime reading routine was forever changed. They looked great, work perfectly, and I look damn good before I turn out the light. And thus Prince Katio read in bed, stopped squinting, became shockingly handsome, and found true love with someone who adored both him and his new reading glasses. If your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com podcast and use code podcast15 for 15% off your first order. The style sell out so don't sit on it. That's Z-E-N-N-I.com podcast promo code podcast15 this

[Marlene]

episode is sponsored by Hungryroot.

[Sponsor Voice]

Hey there.

[Marlene]

I'm Marlene, a Massachusetts mother of six. Which means every morning begins like the Battle of Bunker Hill, but with missing sneakers and someone screaming because their sandwich has crust on it. Between running my dog wig business in Weymouth and launching my artisanal pretzel startup, I don't have time to stand in the supermarket having a nervous breakdown beside the rotisserie chickens. That's why hungryroot has become my personal Paul Revere. Galloping through the night to announce the dinners are coming, I recently discovered their chimichurri chicken bowls and now I add them every week with the solemn intensity of a Kennedy planning a yacht weekend, Hungryroot keeps getting more personalized over time, learning what my family likes, what we need, and which child is currently claiming they are emotionally allergic to broccoli. With over 50,000 chef curated recipes, many ready in just 15 minutes, it combines the convenience of meal kits with the variety of a grocery store.

[Pixie]

They screen out over 200 additives like

[Marlene]

high fructose corn syrup, artificial sweeteners and preservatives, and their meat and seafood have no hormones or antibiotics. Now with Hungryroot I don't have to meal plan. Dinner simply appears like a miracle. But with fiber and veggies and other

[Sponsor Voice]

good stuff for the kids.

[Marlene]

You're going to love Hungryroot as much as I do. For a limited time, get 40% off your first order. Plus get a free item in every box for life. Go to hungryroot.com bald and use code bald. That's hungryroot.com bald code ball to get 40 off your first box and a free item of your choice for life.

[Katia]

So I was in London. I went there last weekend.

[Pixie]

What was the vibe in London? Besides, you know what, Double lady.

[Katia]

I actually want to apologize to the entire community of the UK Unity. Because population, I know that you and I have a reputation of making fun of the uk okay?

[Pixie]

They deserve it.

[Sponsor Voice]

Not.

[Pixie]

Not the uk.

[Katia]

I mean houses.

[Pixie]

What were you talking about?

[Katia]

I don't understand America.

[Pixie]

Oh, excuse your mouth.

[Katia]

The field experiment.

[Pixie]

Excuse me. I had nothing to do with that. I had nothing to do with that. I am not responsible for the.

[Katia]

You're not a founding. You're a founding unk.

[Pixie]

I'm a founding unc fam. So no cap.

[Katia]

No cap.

[Pixie]

I have no responsibility in the malfeasance of my government. A very arbitrary fact. I could have been born in Lebanon. I could have been born in Tokyo. I could have been born in fucking San Pellegrino.

[Sponsor Voice]

Where.

[Pixie]

But.

[Katia]

But I guess I don't love British recipes. But Courtney act talked about this, but she was talking about in other countries. The standard of the quality for the ingredients in the food is higher. So if you don't like the British recipe, if you get those ingredients and make the same fucking food over there, I do think it's better go get a cheese sandwich there. Oh, stunning.

[Pixie]

Okay, so I don't do that.

[Katia]

Oh, you don't eat.

[Pixie]

What I do is enjoy their incredible in London. If we're talking about London in particular, I enjoy the most incredible Indian food I've had in my life.

[Sponsor Voice]

Right?

[Pixie]

The most incredible Vietnamese food, the most incredible Thai food.

[Sponsor Voice]

Right?

[Pixie]

Food from Thailand. Thai food. Vegetable tempura battered veg, 11 pound 60. Did you get to see Catherine Tate in O'?

[Sponsor Voice]

Mary?

[Katia]

Okay, you're gonna be mad because you

[Pixie]

went to see Cat Cat piss ever stream in the Hunger Games. Hunger Games.

[Katia]

So this is what happened. And I don't want to be able to know.

[Pixie]

Okay, Then you need to give me all presents.

[Katia]

So I was feeling sick. Hold my hand like I've been. I was feeling sick.

[Pixie]

Why are you so cold?

[Katia]

It's Freezing. Anemia. Light anemia. I've been feeling sick and something about when you're on all these drugs that are immune suppressants for my arthritis. Oh, you can get fiercely sick with things like the common cold. You can, like, get chicken pox again. Those, like, viruses in your body that once your body has antibodies, you. You still have them forever.

[Pixie]

Like, are you going to be like Zelda with the spinal men?

[Katia]

No, but you could get, like, hpv. You could get shingles, like, when you're on stuff that you normally. Your body never sees again.

[Marlene]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Katia]

So my body loves to flare up. Epstein Barr virus, which is like mono for months. So I've been feeling like I've been dying for months. So I finally got an. An antiviral. It's been, like, so much better, thank God. But it was so gradual. I didn't realize I was just dying until I was like, oh, I'm really sick again. So, anyway, not this kind of good story, but the problem is I get to the UK and I just been. It just started to get better this week, so I get to the UK instantly sick. You know, you might say, did you need to have four tequila on the plane? That's my business.

[Pixie]

Nothing to do with it.

[Katia]

But I know my body.

[Pixie]

That has nothing to do with it.

[Katia]

Tequila does not elicit the. I mean, I was fighting the car ride from the London Heathrow Airport today, which is three hours, which is six and a half hours.

[Pixie]

Yeah. Six and a half hours longer than the place. Mary, I'm telling you, you have. You have your. You, you, you. There is a prescription on the way in customs, a pharmacy.

[Katia]

Yeah.

[Pixie]

And they give you your little discharge medication so you don't have a seizure.

[Katia]

But also trains, trans rights. Everybody's told me that the Heathrow Express is the fastest way to get to London because the traffic.

[Pixie]

I believe that. And I would do that.

[Katia]

So now I'm, like, considering that. But I also. Shoot me in the eye. I got PS Direct. It was my first time doing PS Direct International. Can I tell you the factory. Guess who's back in the house. Amazing.

[Pixie]

Oh, I'm so excited.

[Katia]

Private suite. They put you in a room by yourself. Immigration was so fast that I made them go get the agent again because I was like, that can't be it. Like, that was Immigration. I said, did I just break into this country? And they were like, thank you for double checking, but, yeah, you're fine. I said, well, I have trauma because I went to immigration jail once.

[Pixie]

Thank you.

[Sponsor Voice]

Thank you.

[Katia]

So the Car ride when I'm feeling sick. Now the car ride, I get super car sick. So I'm all car sick. And I got us. I got matinee tickets to see the Hunger Games live on stage. Because I love Hunger Games.

[Marlene]

Yeah.

[Pixie]

And I'm not saying you shouldn't. Why are you looking at me like

[Katia]

I'm fighting for my life? One hand up here, one hand on here.

[Pixie]

Are we pissing out about trying?

[Katia]

No. Fighting Puke.

[Pixie]

Yeah.

[Katia]

Trying not to throw up on the way to the play. Because my plan is to see that, go to dinner and then see Jinx in End of the Rainbow.

[Sponsor Voice]

Gotcha.

[Katia]

Double feature.

[Sponsor Voice]

Double feature.

[Katia]

So I get there to see Clarkness. Ever tea. Go to the bathroom. Not like a non event. Almost puke, almost poop. Nothing happens.

[Pixie]

Nothing happens. Oh, that's the worst.

[Katia]

So I sit through the first act of the play with a bar bag. No, like, trying not to puke. And I'm so nauseous that loud music in the play at all even makes me sick.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Katia]

There's a part where Katniss Everdeen is with PETA Malark and they're flying in their chariot and real flames are shooting out and it's like an arena seating. Like a Pokemon arena. Like, we're all the way around.

[Pixie]

Oh, Theater in the round.

[Katia]

You know, it's a Hunger Game, so there's like, violence and stuff. Are you sick now? No, throw up on me. I'm okay.

[Sponsor Voice]

Okay.

[Katia]

And so at intermission, I go, can we leave? So I left because I was so sick. So I didn't even get to see the second half.

[Pixie]

That sucks.

[Sponsor Voice]

I'm sorry.

[Katia]

So I go home, lay down at the hotel, and I was like, I'm not gonna make it dinner and I'm not gonna make to see Jinx. And I'd already sent her flowers. I said, like, great show tonight. So I called her the next day or text her and was like, I'm sorry, mister. She said, I heard you got sick. I'm like, yeah, it sucks. So anyway, that piss told her so then. But also, I had a show Sunday, so I had to be like, I need to prioritize getting. Oh, good for the show.

[Pixie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Katia]

I'm not gonna fly over.

[Pixie]

No, cancel.

[Katia]

Oh, fly to London and not do the show. So this is. I'm a little depressed that I miss the other Hunger Games because I love the Hunger Games.

[Pixie]

You love.

[Katia]

I love the Hunger Games. I cannot wait, cannot wait for sunrise on the reaping this new movie.

[Pixie]

When is it?

[Katia]

When Is that November?

[Pixie]

Okay.

[Katia]

And it makes me so mad, okay. Because I could be dead by then.

[Pixie]

Listen, say, tell it on the mountain, sister.

[Katia]

My body double, McKenna Grace is in the movie, so obviously I want to support her.

[Pixie]

She's not chopped, fam.

[Katia]

No, she's unc.

[Sponsor Voice]

She's.

[Pixie]

She's so clearly young. So wait, what is the. Do you get the. Just like, is this Hunger Games musical like.

[Katia]

It's not a musical.

[Pixie]

Oh, I'm sorry. Hunger Games theatrical production. Is it like faithful to what? Is it a. What is it like, is it a movie or.

[Katia]

All the movies faithful and it's a stage adaptation of all the story of. No, the first one. The first book.

[Pixie]

Okay, gotcha.

[Katia]

So the intermission at Reddit intermission was her entering the arena.

[Pixie]

Got it.

[Katia]

So the beginning, she gets reaped.

[Pixie]

And who plays cat piss?

[Katia]

There's a bunch of real actors.

[Pixie]

Real actors.

[Katia]

The President Snow was John Malovich.

[Pixie]

You've got to be. You're joking.

[Katia]

It was pre recorded. Excuse me, cuz in. He's not. He just beams in on like TVs.

[Pixie]

That's still Cunty, though.

[Katia]

Oh, it was great. He was a great President Snow too. He was really cool. But the show was. The show was. You know, I. I love the herngame, so.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Katia]

And I'm not a hater, so if I buy a ticket to something, I

[Pixie]

go ready to like, yeah, we're enjoying this. Like, pretty much.

[Katia]

People see things that are just like.

[Pixie]

I know. Well, usually that's critics who get their. Their tickets comped. Well, thank you.

[Katia]

Well, okay. So the next day happens and I'm like, well, I gotta.

[Sponsor Voice]

How are you.

[Pixie]

How are you pulling it together to not puke at this music festival?

[Katia]

I get a rock dock.

[Pixie]

Oh. Oh, yeah.

[Sponsor Voice]

Nice.

[Katia]

They come in the 12 shot, they give me a Zofran pill.

[Sponsor Voice]

Okay.

[Katia]

Love the Zofran.

[Pixie]

Zofran is really. That mess with the Zofran is not chopped at all.

[Katia]

It's amazing.

[Marlene]

Yeah.

[Katia]

Save my life. I get in drag. I'm wearing my outfit from Coachella a couple of years ago, this pink pleather. And I'm kind of skinny right now, so, like pink pleather, nasty little nasty. Nasty clothes on, with glove, fingerless gloves. With this giant pussy bunny hair. So thorny.

[Pixie]

I was so. I had so much pussy.

[Katia]

I looked so good. I can't even tell you. I didn't know you hate to celebrate me. And this is you.

[Pixie]

I mean, you know, I'm the hater because you're chopp. Because I'm chopped. She's what was it? She's chopping out.

[Katia]

So I go to the festival. I go to the festival. Riding in the car to the gig, and

[Pixie]

she was chopping. She could chew it out. She could chew an outfit.

[Katia]

That's what it was. I thought it was burning outfit. Chewing outfit.

[Pixie]

Something so disrespectful. She was lady talking about Jackie O, by the way.

[Katia]

She was just chop chicken by to mix an outfit.

[Pixie]

She could. She could blend that chicken breast of an outfit. Okay, go ahead.

[Katia]

So we get to the gig and it's me and our. Some of our managers there. They get there ahead of time to pre check everything, which I love. I love boots on the ground before I get there. Makes it feel like, am I so demonic that if everything's not right when I walk in, like if I lay on the pink carpet, I'm going to lose it.

[Pixie]

They make whole movies about this type of people. Don't you worry about that?

[Katia]

It is fun because the Scissor Sisters are headlining and I just feel that. Let's have a Kiki remix with and Luscious and Kelly Osborne was there. Fierce.

[Pixie]

Oh, so this is a big old thing.

[Katia]

Huge thing. Mighty Hoopla has such a fun music festival. They book all gay acts, but don't call it a gay music festival. So all the gays show up.

[Pixie]

It's like.

[Katia]

It's fierce. It's like, yes, I see Violet and Gottmik.

[Pixie]

Oh, fierce. Gottmika.

[Katia]

I say hi. Violet vaguely acknowledges yes.

[Sponsor Voice]

Fierce.

[Pixie]

Then commitment to the bit is admirable.

[Katia]

Oh, it's amazing.

[Pixie]

Yeah.

[Katia]

And she's. It's actually like an honor to be ignored by her. Absolutely. I was like. She almost said. She said nothing to me.

[Pixie]

That's nothing bad. I saw the picture of you and Gottmik on social media.

[Marlene]

It's very nice.

[Katia]

Oh, that was my hot, sexy outfit.

[Pixie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Marlene]

Okay, good.

[Pixie]

I corroborate.

[Katia]

So I go to my gig. Jody Harsh is before me. She's so fun.

[Pixie]

God, I love her.

[Katia]

Love her.

[Pixie]

Yeah, she's great.

[Katia]

And I'm. I'm, you know, me with my people skills. This agent was in the room and he was chatting with me and he was like, have you read Jody's book? And I said, oh, no. I said, I really want to read Mark Ronson's book too, because, you know, he's a producer and I really want to read Jody's book. I think it's called. You had to be There. He said, she does audio type. You should listen to the audio tape as well. And I said, yeah, but who wants to listen to a British person for hours? And he didn't even really get it. So I was like, great. Love it. Killing it. Love it. Because I'm like. Because he has it.

[Pixie]

I'm trying to downtown.

[Katia]

Funny joke.

[Pixie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Katia]

You know? But it didn't work.

[Marlene]

Flopped.

[Pixie]

Flopping hard in the social scene.

[Katia]

So then I put my shoes on, I go do my gig, and Jody's DJing before me. And she's so awesome. She's amazing. She's incredible. Her.

[Marlene]

She's fun.

[Katia]

She's great. The hair is mystifying. All one side, baby bang.

[Pixie]

Yeah. Chopped.

[Katia]

Yes.

[Pixie]

Literally.

[Katia]

Face. It's so hot. Her face is somehow completely matte. I don't know what she's doing.

[Pixie]

Yeah, her.

[Katia]

I looked like a melted person. And she looks completely bone dry. She looks like when people see Jesus in toast.

[Pixie]

She's probably had the Botox.

[Katia]

Oh, she's doing something.

[Pixie]

She didn't have a fashion, though.

[Katia]

Not bad.

[Pixie]

She didn't have a fashion.

[Katia]

So I get up there, DJ. I'm maybe 30 minutes in my set. I'm feeling it. I'm really doing a good job. And I've been practicing a lot, and I've been practicing a lot, and I've really been sets a lot.

[Pixie]

Okay, I'm going from A to B to C to D to E to F to G. Baby, you can't come for this.

[Katia]

Ready? So I'm going in. Ready? And I'm killing it. I'm like, yes. But it's punishingly hot. It's maybe 65 degrees outside, but in this tent I'm DJing, it's pushing 95.

[Pixie]

You gotta pop some holes in that tent. Pop some holes.

[Katia]

It's like everyone is breathing. Mouth open. Oh, it's so hot. So hot. Mind you, this is after.

[Pixie]

Deal with that.

[Katia]

This is after the Nice Delight went out in Georgia, London, last year when it was like. Yeah, it was the Suicide Watch show. The only show where I've ever told a medic to stand by the stage and watch me. Yes. So fierce girl.

[Pixie]

The Bone Collector.

[Katia]

The Bone Collector.

[Pixie]

You had to call Denzel Washington.

[Katia]

I've been trying.

[Pixie]

We gotta get YouTube down here to film.

[Katia]

We gotta get YouTube down here to film us. I'd be doing my gig, Mr. God. I'm. As long as there's no meet and greet, my policy is this. If I show up on stage looking good, if the heat destroys me, that's not your problem.

[Pixie]

It's not your fault. You prepared for the best.

[Katia]

And There will be no photos after.

[Pixie]

Yeah, right.

[Katia]

And I'm leaving right away. That's all.

[Pixie]

Yeah.

[Katia]

Once I'm wrecked, I don't want to be seen.

[Pixie]

Yeah.

[Katia]

I'm embarrassed.

[Pixie]

She's wrecked. She's got to go home.

[Katia]

Yeah.

[Pixie]

She's chopped. She can't be in a meet and

[Katia]

greet and they have a fan on the floor blowing up at me. But when you're in drag, a fan blowing just a wig into your wet face.

[Pixie]

No, not. It's not the London look.

[Sponsor Voice]

It's not the London Samara.

[Pixie]

Also, you can't turn. You can't turn because the wig just goes like that to the face. Yeah, you can't. That's not the London look.

[Katia]

It's not the Rimmel look. So I'm Pennywise. Yeah, right.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Katia]

And then I decided to take the fan and put on the counter because I'm like, well, if it's going to do anything, it needs to be in front of me and put it directly at my face to pull a hair back.

[Pixie]

Yeah, totally.

[Katia]

That I can handle.

[Pixie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Katia]

It's such a strong fan, though, which I'm grateful for. I put the fan down. The strength of the fan blows it off the counter. The fan chops the electrical wire to the stage. Sparks fly like final destination. During the power on stage goes out during 35 minutes in to an hour 15 set. An hour and 30. Sparks fly. Sound immediately cuts out and there's video of me going, oh, I have a video for you.

[Pixie]

How come I didn't know about this? Am I not eternally online anymore?

[Katia]

Because I didn't share it.

[Sponsor Voice]

Okay.

[Pixie]

Am I not eternally on? That's a good thing, by the way. I think I'm not eternally online anymore. Also.

[Sponsor Voice]

You.

[Pixie]

Oh,

[Katia]

not great. So that's never happened to me before. Didn't know that could happen. Accident. So then I'm feeling around on the ground. I'm trying to figure out what happened because the sound is out. I pick up a cable. I pick up a cable. I look at it. The edges are all spliced open. So what I think happened is when there's a surge like that, the power cuts off as a safety precaution.

[Sponsor Voice]

Okay.

[Katia]

So I'm holding the edge of the flayed out wire and they come out, they fix the music in like five minutes. To me, the dancers leave the stage and come back. But it was really scary and I felt embarrassed. And it's like your nightmare that the music just stops and it really was. It's. It's not my fault. It's not the fan's fault. It's fault.

[Pixie]

It's got. It's every. It's a constellation of faults.

[Marlene]

I play.

[Katia]

Yeah.

[Pixie]

It's not. I'm not chopped. That chord got chopped. Yeah, fam.

[Katia]

But then I just. I once the music.

[Pixie]

Okay, what was the recovery?

[Sponsor Voice]

How was it?

[Katia]

I brought the BPM back down and just worked my way up again. I was like, you know what? But they didn't leave, which was great. I just felt bad because I was trying to move the fan. I shouldn't have tried to do that. I should have just done nothing.

[Pixie]

Yeah, but live and learn, I guess. And you're not. This isn't your first rodeo.

[Sponsor Voice]

That's. That sucks.

[Pixie]

Okay, that was. I thought. Mary, I thought you were.

[Katia]

You thought it was electrocution.

[Pixie]

No, no, no, no, no. I was describing that. I mean, I think you were, like. It was perfectly reasonable for you not to think that a small fan like that could do something like that, because that was not a huge, giant fan. It was a powerful fan, but it wasn't. I thought it was gonna be one of those giant freak fans. You know what I'm talking about? That would, like, be a. Would. Would tip over and bring your whole table down. Do you know what I mean? No, no, no.

[Katia]

But I have seen videos like that where, like, the decks fully tumble forward. And, like, that's just never happened to me. So then I'm also hot.

[Pixie]

Please.

[Katia]

But anyway. But it all happened.

[Pixie]

But I'm sorry it happened.

[Katia]

But you know what, though?

[Pixie]

If he can lead, you can lead.

[Katia]

You got to be in the right mood.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Katia]

Because anything can happen.

[Pixie]

Yeah. And we're working with. We're working with mysterious things like electrology.

[Katia]

Electrolysis?

[Pixie]

Yeah. Electrology is not an exact science.

[Katia]

The weight can fall off the shoe, heel can break off. It can all happen.

[Pixie]

Yeah, but electrology is different because we don't know even where that comes from.

[Katia]

We've never heard of it.

[Marlene]

No.

[Pixie]

Electricity is more

[Katia]

satanic.

[Sponsor Voice]

What? I.

[Katia]

Here's how I saved the show. I got a kite and I put a key on it, and I put it up in the sky and waited for the light.

[Pixie]

Franklin, that absolutely.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Pixie]

Yeah.

[Katia]

What did you do over the weekend?

[Pixie]

It's almost a little too rich.

[Katia]

Too sweet.

[Sponsor Voice]

Let's take a break.

[Katia]

Let's take a break.

[Sponsor Voice]

This episode is sponsored by Olipop. Cue the synth drums. Roll the VHS tracking. The year is 1985, and I'm dressed like a tiny background dancer from a Wham. Video pedaling my BMX through my neighborhood that smelled of hot asphalt, Coppertone, and whatever mysterious plastic made jelly bracelets possible. My hair is questionable, my shorts are too short, my Trapper Keeper is full of stickers, MTV is on, Madonna is everywhere, and every kid on the block is either yelling where's the beef? Or trying to solve a Rubik's Cube with the qu inspiration of a Cold War code breaker. And in those neon sprinkler soaked afternoons, soda was the sacred fuel, the nectar of arcade tokens, Ghostbusters lunchboxes, Care Bears, Band Aids, and staying outside until the street lights came on. Now I am older, my knees crack like a cassette tape being eaten by a Walkman. But Olipop lets me return to that feeling, only reimagined with grown up wisdom. Olipop is a new kind of soda with classic soda taste, high fiber, low sugar and a functional ingredient blend to support digestive health. This summer, Raspberry Sherbet arrives bright, fruity and refreshing like an ice cream truck dream wearing leg warmers. It has 30 calories, 6 grams of fiber and only 2 grams of sugar. And it's here for the summer only, so get it while it lasts. And BlackBerry Vanilla is back for good. Beloved by Olipop diehards with bold BlackBerry tartness and creamy vanilla smoothness, it has 50 calories, 9 grams of fiber and only 5 grams of sugar. When my inevitable sweet tooth hits at midnight as I'm watching Nightmare on Elm street for the 80th time, Olipop saves the day by satisfying my sweet tooth without delivering 60 grams of sugar an hour before I fall asleep. Plus, the BlackBerry vanilla flavor is like a tart but smooth punch to the face. It's just what I need to feel like a kid again. Olipop. It's the soda of your youth reborn for the adult soul. Get a free can of Olipop. Buy any two cans of Olipop in store and we'll pay you back for one work. Fund single cans of any flavor any retailer. Just go to drinkolipop.com bald Olipop is available in the soda aisle and with the chilled beverages at thousands of retailers nationwide, including Walmart and Target.

[Marlene]

This episode is sponsored by Better Help. It is I, Sir Helps a Lot Modern Day Knight from the Los Angeles Renaissance Fair Living in the crazy world of 2026. This means my armor is emotional snark, my steed is a dented Subaru, and my sworn enem me is a wretched goblin sorcerer named Stigma who lives inside the national group Chat, whispering Don't ask for help, simply become emotionally haunted. Well, not today, you little shame gremlin. We talk about mental health more openly now, but asking for help can still feel hard. Better Help's latest research confirms it Better Helps 2026 State of Stigma reports of a 2000Americans and revealed that 85% of Americans believe getting support is wise, yet 74% say society discourages people from doing so. That gap is the moat. That gap is the dragon. That gap is stigma wearing a tiny crown made of bad advice and saying just bottle it up until your left eye twitches. But therapy is not a trap door. It is support. And sometimes the bravest thing you can say to a friend is my liege, have you considered talking to someone? BetterHelp has over 30,000 therapists, is the world's largest online therapy platform, and has served over 6 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. BetterHelp therapists are fully licensed in the US and follow a strict code of conduct. You answer a short questionnaire. BetterHelp helps match you and if the match is not right, you can switch anytime. So raise your sword, lower your emotional drawbridge and tell Stigma to go live in a cursed coffee shop. Don't let Stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10 off at betterhelp.com bold that's better. H-E-L-P.com bold this episode is sponsored by Mood. Now I personally do not use cannabis, but my podcast co host. Oh that magnificent little queen who shall remain nameless but the name rhymes with Pixie. Loves cannabis the way a Victorian widow loves standing near cliffs looking for their long lost seafaring husband. And that's why this co host loves Mood and can't stop raving about it to strangers in the supermarket. What is Mood? Mood is an online destination for federally compliant hemp derived cannabis grown on small pesticide free family run farms right here in the us. They make cannabis accessible, affordable, convenient and transparent while supporting the American farmers who make all of this possible. Mood has gummies, flour, edibles, pre rolls and more with products for different vibes and moments. Sleep, focus, feeling happy and euphoric. Even better sex, which my co host announced with the quiet dignity of a raccoon finding a hot tub. Their favorite right now is Mood's Chill Out Gummies. They say they're smooth, great for winding down, and perfect for the end of a long Week. For some odd reason, they tend to use them a lot after recording this very podcast with me. Is that causation or correlations? I guess we'll never know. And lastly, a lot of people don't realize hemp derived cannabis products are still completely legal to buy online.

[Sponsor Voice]

Well, they are.

[Marlene]

And Mood makes it easy with discreet shipping straight to your door. So head to mood.com, find the functional gummy that matches exactly what you're looking for, and let Mood help you discover your perfect mood. And don't forget to use promo code bald when you check out to save 20% on your first order. Try it [e-mail] with promo code bald.

[Katia]

So I was destroying music festivals and I was struggling. Walking out of matinees of young adult novels, skipping trans people's actively violent musical performance.

[Pixie]

Violence against trans. Yeah, yeah. What was I doing?

[Katia]

What were you doing?

[Pixie]

Well, I'm so glad you asked. I was alone in Brooklyn trying to. I was alone in my condo trying to jack off an electrician. I'm gonna say that again. Let me ask you something. Today, on June 5, 2026, it's a Thursday. Friday, June 7th. Whatever day it is, why is it so impossible for me to jack off an electrician in my home?

[Katia]

Wait a minute.

[Pixie]

So I want to, like.

[Katia]

Oh, okay.

[Pixie]

No, no. So I went in.

[Katia]

So I knowing you.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Katia]

An electrician came over.

[Pixie]

No, no, no, no, no. Oh, not yet.

[Katia]

Oh. So what are you asking? Why?

[Pixie]

How did I.

[Katia]

How to get an electrician or how to jack off?

[Pixie]

Well, I know how to jack off. I know how to jack off somebody else.

[Katia]

You do that weird pillow humping, don't you?

[Pixie]

Oh, my God.

[Sponsor Voice]

So we were.

[Katia]

You do that thing where you lay flat down on the bed.

[Pixie]

Oh, my God, you are reading my mind. But I had this other. I had a vision. I had a vision of love. So they had. We're at. After brunch, you went to Hobby Lobby to be gay. Because you know they don't like that. And so me and Ash Gord were passing by these, like, these embroidered pillow letters, and I saw a B. Naturally, I picked it up and I was like, you know what? This would be good for Dual hump Jacks in the Hobby Lobby. So I gave. I gave a little demo. Not. I didn't undo my pants or unhook my bra.

[Katia]

You're with Ash Gordon. Yeah, love her.

[Pixie]

Pregnant.

[Katia]

One of the few people I think should procreate as much as possible.

[Pixie]

Thank you. I do it 30 times.

[Katia]

Let's start an island.

[Pixie]

Yeah. For just the gorgeous.

[Katia]

Well, then how are they gonna procreate?

[Pixie]

Well, inbreeding. Well, it works for England.

[Katia]

I watched this documentary about some inbred people in the hills on YouTube.

[Pixie]

So it was a BBC.

[Katia]

Now, lately YouTube has been suggesting, like real community documentaries to me.

[Pixie]

Okay, what is your go to? Wait, what do you. What are you on YouTube? Because I have mine. I know my algorithm is sacrosanct on. On YouTube. My. My YouTube Premium membership. I have a Katia account that is not premium and that is whole. Who knows what. You know what I mean? That's for my YouTube. On my. My.

[Katia]

You have a second YouTube?

[Pixie]

I'm a men's account. I have a men's meeting. I have a men's.

[Katia]

Is it like an anonymous. Like faceless?

[Pixie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a men's meeting. That's why. No, no, no, no, no, no. So I would. I would be very comfortable and not at all skittish or, or. Or shameful about popping. Pulling out my YouTube history, my YouTube account, or the algorithm. I have nothing to be ashamed of because it's all very wholesome and it's all very. No, I'm not joking. Why are you looking at me like that? You don't believe me?

[Katia]

Well, okay, so people have secret accounts if they're just doing normal. Well, it's like, oh, I just put on my. I put on my. I put on my Jason mask and don't kill anybody. You know what I mean?

[Sponsor Voice]

It's like, I don't get it.

[Katia]

Why don't you just do these things from your Katia account?

[Pixie]

Oh, no, because Katya's on premium.

[Katia]

But why don't you make that account premium? Why do you need two accounts?

[Pixie]

Well, because this was the account I had before the Katia one.

[Katia]

Oh, this pre. Dates?

[Pixie]

Yeah. This is because we go way back. This one, we go way back. Me and myself, we gotta get YouTube down here. Myself and I go way back. We're all born in the same house.

[Katia]

YouTube used to not eat.

[Pixie]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She was just something.

[Katia]

It was just a thing.

[Pixie]

She was just a thing.

[Katia]

Your grandma would say you would go

[Pixie]

there comedy, but you would go there from somewhere else.

[Katia]

Right, Right.

[Pixie]

You know, Twitter would. Twitter. Twitter would bring you to YouTube.

[Sponsor Voice]

Well, Twitter was a babysitter.

[Pixie]

She was the girl in the car. She had the getaway car. Yeah, she would go. She was a stop on the way back home. But you wouldn't hang out in YouTube.

[Katia]

Right. So how does this get to you jerking off an electrician?

[Pixie]

Well, that's a great question. And let me answer that. I was at home. My brother stayed with me for a while. My God.

[Marlene]

We vibed.

[Pixie]

Oh, my God, we vibed. We vibed so hard. And then he left. And then the appointment.

[Sponsor Voice]

The.

[Marlene]

The.

[Pixie]

The condo immediately turns to big old. Just layers and layers of. Laundry's not done. Dishes aren't done. I did the dishes today. Miraculously, my dishes don't bite. I did the dishes. I mean, I put them in the dishwasher and didn't do anything else. So I'm living in filth again. It's fine. It's temporary, like all things. And I'm. It occurred to me, I'm like, you know, I am not in a position. My body right now is not sex ready. I don't want to have sex. I'm not. I don't even. Oh, God. It's like.

[Katia]

What about your bonus hole?

[Pixie]

Bonus?

[Katia]

Always, sometimes, never.

[Pixie]

My. I was talking about. I was thinking about brand.

[Katia]

It's not healed yet.

[Pixie]

Brand new cherry flavor today. My kitten. My Goro.

[Sponsor Voice]

Kitten hole.

[Katia]

Yeah.

[Pixie]

Hi, my name is Goro. It's totally sick. It's disgusting, but I've been doing a lot of ASMR myself, listening to ASMR videos on because my sleep is all disruptive.

[Katia]

Do you like scenarios? Because there's a lot of, like, elaborate scenarios.

[Pixie]

Yes, there are. There's a huge. It's a huge. I would say it's huge genre with many, many sub genres and many, many little avenues and in nooks and crannies.

[Katia]

I do understand the appeal of the. Well, so I'm Pervier ones make more sense to me. The ones that are like, waking up with your boyfriend.

[Pixie]

Boyfriend material or like cranial vagus nerve or cranial nerve exam or like. Or like sexy haircut or whatever. No, I don't do any of that. I do fluffy mic sounds with whispers.

[Katia]

Sexy haircut.

[Pixie]

Yeah, but it's snip, snip and like

[Katia]

sexy haircut as a drag name. Don't. Wouldn't you live.

[Pixie]

What about sexy sexy?

[Sponsor Voice]

Drag queen?

[Pixie]

First name Sexy.

[Katia]

Sexy Sexy.

[Pixie]

Middle name Sexy. Last name Drag queen.

[Katia]

Bob's daughter.

[Pixie]

Sexy Sexy.

[Katia]

Oh, because it's Bob's middle name.

[Pixie]

Sexy. Well, that's a great question. We have to do the genealogy. It's from the legendary house of the. It's like the hyphen he was. This is married. Well, Bob's.

[Katia]

Bob's middle name is after her father, the princess or the Vivian. Her mom and dad were the Vivian and the princess.

[Pixie]

The princess, yeah. So I do fluffy mic sounds with whispers. And today I, I like it. I don't like when they say it, but I like it when they do affirmations like, like, I hope you're doing amazing today. I hope you're feeling really great and I'm just gonna help you to relax. I don't need any 50 cent words, I don't need literary illusions, I don't need flowery language. And I don't, I just need even. You know, it's a. You really depend on that even tone or that even volume and consistency of the, the, the, the whisper level or, or whatever you know I'm talking about.

[Katia]

Yes.

[Pixie]

So it's like you can't just be like us and just scream like, like a, like a crawl, like a hyena every once in a while. It's very.

[Katia]

That's so weird.

[Pixie]

Well, it's, it's to pr. It's to get the tingles. It's to get the, the.

[Sponsor Voice]

It's a.

[Katia]

It's jerking it.

[Pixie]

No, it's so non sexual. It's not at all sexual. It's not even sexual sense. You could argue that. Sensual. But for me it's not. It's tactile. It's, it's, it is.

[Katia]

It. There's a knife in your back and the blood is running down. Is it that I'm screaming?

[Pixie]

Yeah, 100% oh, Bongo. No, it really is that. And it, it's. I'm telling you, it's, it's magic. It's really, it's body magic. It's the parasympathetic nervous system switching on. It's immediate relaxation response. I can't exercise. I'm going nuts. I'm going crazy. I'm popping up at 5am Eyes open, bloodshot, bloodshot diva scrambling down bowlegged downstairs, right? I was like, thank God for the carpet. Because I'm like. I mean, heels, heels, heels. Sore legs didn't do anything.

[Katia]

My version of those type of move, those type of things come from the videos of like great grandma using VR and like diving through the tv. Do you know how. Do you know how horny and bricked I get when someone's grandmother thinks she's playing a VR game where she's walking a plank and they walk up behind and push her and she screams bloody murder and jumps through the 85 inch TV. Do you know how much joy I

[Sponsor Voice]

get out of it?

[Pixie]

Would she go all the way through?

[Katia]

She'll like smash it. It's spiders. You know what else is crazy? Girl, I went down the rabbit hole of this.

[Pixie]

What about Asian insurance scam frauds on.

[Sponsor Voice]

We'll get there.

[Katia]

The Real Tea. If you want to talk about the real tea on YouTube.com the Real Tea, a premiumtv. YouTube Compilations of men watching sports and breaking their own television. Standing up, punching the tv, throwing the remote at the tv, ripping the TV off the wall.

[Pixie]

We gotta get into that.

[Katia]

Okay. And my mind goes to them. Kids are getting hit or something horrible.

[Pixie]

Yep.

[Katia]

If that's what's happened to the tv.

[Pixie]

I know. And you need to check your anger. That we do. And we also need to check back with reality. Let's take your pulse for a second. And so that is not your team. Those are not your guys. This is something I've never understood.

[Katia]

Why are you more upset than the players?

[Sponsor Voice]

Thank you.

[Pixie]

And also, you don't. They have. These players. They're as brilliant, as talented as they may be or not be. Whatever. I. You know, they have no allegiance or loyalty to whatever team they're playing on. They are.

[Katia]

They have an allegiancy to me.

[Pixie]

Yes. Well, their first level, their first layer of loyalty is to trixmontel.com, triximettel, LLC.

[Sponsor Voice]

Right.

[Pixie]

Then their second allegiance is to the great and mighty dollar.

[Sponsor Voice]

Right.

[Pixie]

So it's not about the Dolphins. It's not about the Eagles, it's not about the Bears. It's not about the 49ers. You stupid. It's about Miss Thing at the top of. It's Miss George Washington or Miss Benjamin Frankelon or Miss Thomas Jefferson. Right. Who's on the other dollar? James Madison and Kerry Washington and Carrie Washington.

[Katia]

Yeah. She's also on the dollar. Oh, I wish. She should be one of the.

[Pixie]

She should be on every dollar.

[Katia]

Do you think they could add her to the Mount Rushmore?

[Pixie]

They could put.

[Katia]

Why are there only four?

[Pixie]

Well, because there's the hidden one. You've never seen the back.

[Katia]

Why don't they do more Mount Rushmores?

[Pixie]

I know. Sexy. Sexy drag queen on Mount Rushmore.

[Katia]

Mount Rushmost.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Pixie]

It's not like the Grand Canyons right there.

[Katia]

But we could get some of these newer. We gotta get Obama out there.

[Pixie]

Yeah. We're gonna get YouTube down there to film it all, too.

[Katia]

Bernie.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Katia]

Isn't it really? But we could put them on the thing.

[Pixie]

Berntina.

[Katia]

Berntina.

[Pixie]

Berntina. We gotta get Kerry Washington. Well, so anyways. Oh, yeah. So these guys getting.

[Katia]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[Pixie]

They're punching their TVs as if the calls coming from inside the house, the call's not anywhere related to your neighborhood. They don't know about you. They don't care about you.

[Sponsor Voice]

Right.

[Pixie]

They don't with you. Why do you think that you with them so hard? Go flip a car, T. Go. Go to the gym. Go do some deadlifts.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Pixie]

Go burn off that crack juice with something, like, with a. With an activity that is appropriate and not harmful.

[Katia]

You know, what I do is for public service when I'm in Boston, when there's a Celtics game. Celtics. Well, sorry. Celtic women concert. That's what I was talking about. So when they win or when they lose, I am in one of those medieval times things.

[Pixie]

It's stock stocks.

[Katia]

And they have tomato and they whip.

[Pixie]

And they Tootsie Roll and they.

[Katia]

They Tootsie Loot and they.

[Pixie]

They live up to your little. Your little. Your little bloomers and your bustle and.

[Katia]

Well, no, that's if they win. So that's if they win. That's if they win. And my bustle. Take off my cage. Well, that's not important because I'm tucked and you're.

[Pixie]

You're a teeny little girl.

[Katia]

Well, I'm tucked, so they pull the tape off my butthole and they just go, girl. And they fight. And they live for it. Girl. And they live for it.

[Pixie]

And they wait in line patiently for it. Lady. And they live for it.

[Katia]

And because they take their pulse, they're

[Pixie]

trying to regulate their body temperature while they're in weight, while they're waiting because they're so excited to.

[Katia]

Well, then the coconut oil. The number of lesbian women in my life who grabbed both my arms and said, lube. Have you tried coconut oil? Like, I think the lesbians are in with big coconut, big cocoa, because they're trying to get me to shove this.

[Pixie]

The dykes are tied up with big nuts, big nut.

[Katia]

But you know what, though? It does make sense.

[Pixie]

Oh, God. Oh, God, my cheeks hurt.

[Katia]

Natural lubricants are going to be this, the probably the safest, bestest.

[Pixie]

Well, not when those chunks come into play, baby. I'm not into all that.

[Katia]

Wow.

[Pixie]

I'm not into that Chunky. I'm not into Ms. Chunky. I don't wanna.

[Katia]

So what about the electrician?

[Pixie]

So I've just. Here's the. I know. I'm not trying to sexually harass anybody. Okay? Let's get that off the table. That's not.

[Katia]

We don't do that anymore.

[Pixie]

We don't do that. It's not Italy. I'm not pinching butts in the elevator. Willy nilly. Okay. Thank you. Aroma.

[Katia]

Another good compilation online. Women just trying to be in public.

[Pixie]

Oh, God.

[Katia]

Or what about men coming up and trying to kiss?

[Pixie]

What about big flop insurance scam. I almost got hit by our car. Except the fact that your car was completely out of stop. And I just after the fact went and fake hip checked it and then went immediately crumbled to the ground, totally injured, screaming Curly Sue. It's fierce. It's so fierce. Oh, look. But I was in park.

[Katia]

You had a neck brace on before you hit the ground.

[Sponsor Voice]

Exactly.

[Pixie]

It's like, where'd you get a stretcher? And how much money do you think you're entitled to from this? $80,000.

[Katia]

$80,000 you drove here in ambulance. In an ambulance

[Pixie]

they have there. Yeah, it's. It is wild. But that's fun too. And. But no. The electricity to me.

[Katia]

If you're going to try to fake it, you need to actually jump in front of the car.

[Pixie]

I need bones got to break right you. Where. Where you have no literal skin in the game. This is awful. No, no, it. It is awful. But. So what's even more awful person? What's even more awful is me alone in my house, no electrician to jack off. Now, I don't want to. I don't want to scare anybody. I don't want to make anybody uncomfortable, but I do want certain people to know, namely electricians, if they were to make a service call at my house independent of the service call and not tied or related to the service call. There is another service that I provide free of charge, and that is jacking them off until they want to come or not come. It's really none of my business.

[Sponsor Voice]

Hot.

[Katia]

Or are you just more into them being electricians?

[Pixie]

I'm mostly interested in them being electricians because that makes the most sense in my home. We've got a lot of. We have a lot of electrical work that needs to be looked at. And. And. And so.

[Katia]

And you're not willing to pay money.

[Pixie]

No, no, no. Excuse me. I literally just. You're not listening to me. Because what I said independent of and not related to is the service. The service call. I'm paying a premium and I'm going to tip you. That's no matter what. That's even if you further complicate my electrical system and I need to call another electrician because that doubles the rate. That doubles the chances of me jacking off.

[Katia]

If you come to my house to do any kind of work, locksmith Etc.

[Pixie]

Yeah.

[Katia]

The gratitude I feel in my heart.

[Pixie]

Oh, yes, I am there with the

[Katia]

amount of haggling I will never do. You tell me what the money is. Yeah. I will kiss your feet as you leave. I'll braid your hair. I'll do whatever you want.

[Pixie]

I 100.

[Katia]

I think your Beyonce.

[Pixie]

I 100. I think you're better than her because she never did my electrical.

[Katia]

Well, she did. And she didn't do a great job. Which is why we need the electrician.

[Pixie]

I needed. I needed a union electric up in there. I need a union electrical is the

[Katia]

only thing Beyonce can do. Yes, she could do plumbing.

[Pixie]

Yes, she does.

[Sponsor Voice]

Plumbing.

[Pixie]

Drywall.

[Katia]

Oh, my God. Mosaic styling.

[Pixie]

Stucco.

[Sponsor Voice]

Stucco.

[Pixie]

Her exterior stucco job. Unmatched.

[Katia]

Her game is like her murals.

[Pixie]

Painted or not, the mosaic tiles. Like you said, she can get you a Roman spa in under two days.

[Katia]

Girl. I was just thinking this on the way here. I'm still. I still want to once a week

[Pixie]

want to jack off an electrician.

[Katia]

Cobra credit was the best thing I ever saw. Like once a week. I have that thought now. Every concert or show I ever see, I judge it to that.

[Pixie]

Yeah.

[Katia]

Maybe that's why I don't like anything anymore.

[Pixie]

No. Yeah.

[Katia]

But I loved Paranormal Activity.

[Pixie]

I wish I got to see that. So bad. Your description of that was so ripped.

[Katia]

You gotta go see it.

[Pixie]

It's going to be you joking.

[Katia]

Going to Broadway. Starring my friend Travis Knight, who's from my college in the acting program. I saw him in the ads and. Oh, my God. He's announced us as starring in it as the lead. Small World. Peck School, the arts. Milwaukee Stars are out. Anyway, let's take a break. I don't know.

[Pixie]

Okay, let's wrap up. Well, I'm gonna go see that. You should be amazing. No, I can use your description of it was absolutely bone chilling.

[Katia]

Well, I can't wait. I was talking to somebody from that show about that and I said, I hope I didn't give away too much. And they said when we talked about the pod, they said, no, you talked enough without giving anything away, which was my goal.

[Pixie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Katia]

Because if there's surprise elements.

[Pixie]

Yeah, I want to be surprised.

[Katia]

I don't want to tell you how great it is. But then you go in knowing everything.

[Pixie]

Yeah.

[Sponsor Voice]

Hold on.

[Pixie]

I gotta talk to some rain.

[Katia]

Talking rain.

[Pixie]

Diabolical.

[Katia]

What's that?

[Pixie]

I don't know. Rain. Acid rain that goes queen.

[Sponsor Voice]

I'll burn you.

[Katia]

You know, we used to read. We used to read fan comments. Not anymore. No, because we're not a fan.

[Pixie]

Well, you what?

[Sponsor Voice]

No.

[Pixie]

While you were in the bathroom doing the dish or whatever, Tracy and I

[Katia]

was in Brooklyn trying to survive in this economy trying to take a pregnancy

[Pixie]

test, we were going through the fan comments and it gets, you know how it gets a little obnoxious. In the Trixie Cotton universe, all they would ask is why haven't you jacked off an electrician yet?

[Sponsor Voice]

Right.

[Katia]

Well,

[Pixie]

is it the calluses?

[Katia]

I can guarantee if it's electrician, his nipples are wired.

[Pixie]

We're right by the. We're right by the electrician could help

[Katia]

me when I'm DJing and I use the fan to final destination chop wires.

[Pixie]

I'm telling you, we're going to chop it up.

[Sponsor Voice]

Not.

[Pixie]

Yeah, I'm telling you if you're an electrician out there, I just want it to be known that this is not related in any way to the service you provide or the money I pay for it. Let's get that very clear. This is not extortion, bribery or sex work. I'm just telling you that when the clock ends and you're shift when you're off the clock on the dot, I'm right there on the spot to jack you off.

[Katia]

It's seven o' clock on the dot. I need a crack rock on the spot. Bye.

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Katia]

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[Pixie]

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