
Loading summary
Angie
Anybody who owns a home knows how much work it takes. Luckily, Angie has been connecting homeowners with skilled pros for 30 years, and they've made it easier than ever to tackle home projects. Angie's nationwide network has Experts in over 50 categories, from plumbing and landscaping to roofing and remodels. You can easily read reviews, see photos of past work and request and compare quotes to find your best price. Join the millions of homeowners who use Angie to get the job done well. Download the free Angie app today or visit angie.com that's a n g I.com anybody who owns a home knows how much work it takes. Luckily, Angie has been connecting homeowners with skilled pros for 30 years and they've made it easier than ever to tackle home projects. Angie's nationwide network has Experts in over 50 categories from plumbing and landscaping to roofing and remodels. You can easily read reviews, see photos of past work and request and compare quotes to find your best price. Join the millions of homeowners who use ANGI to get the job done well. Download the free Angie app today or visit angie.com that's a n g I.com anybody who owns a home knows how much work it takes. Luckily, Angie has been connecting homeowners with skilled pros for 30 years and they've made it easier than ever to tackle home projects. Angie's nationwide network has Experts in over 50 categories from plumbing and landscaping to roofing and remodels. You can easily read reviews, see photos of past work and request and compare quotes to find your best price. Join the millions of homeowners who use Angie to get the job done well. Download the free Angie app today or visit angie.com that's a n g I.com.
Trixie Mattel
I saw this. This tick tock that was like I know you're a 35 year old gay man and I'm a 20 year old lesbian but just give me a shot. And it was like slow motion footage of me while father figure played I will be your father.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Give me a shot at what?
Trixie Mattel
Lesn out.
Katya Zamolodchikova
No, I think they want bobby pins. They want to give you your simsia girl.
Trixie Mattel
It's the only injection I look forward to.
Katya Zamolodchikova
What about that beef injection?
Trixie Mattel
Silence my phone.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Me too. So popular.
Trixie Mattel
Stop double clicking. A text message is sending a heart. That doesn't mean anything to me.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Double clicking.
Trixie Mattel
It's like sorry that thumbs up. Whatever reactions.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Oh yeah I would. I would never do that.
Trixie Mattel
You don't even read it. I the tik toks I Send you from another time zone.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I just double click thumbs down on everything.
Trixie Mattel
I just. I think that in the world of marijuana, I know that. I know that there's a time and a place for a vape. I know it's in the theater.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I'm talking to them.
Trixie Mattel
Get that fat cat turd and sit on that porch like this, like a whole bullfrog.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Mary, let me tell you why smoke stays in the place. Smoke lingers. Smoke, I know, sticks.
Trixie Mattel
If you can't step outside, people want.
Katya Zamolodchikova
To vape in the bed and watch Discovery Channel.
Trixie Mattel
It's fucking weird. My mom says that. My mom will be like, I'm just gonna step outside for a second. I said, and do what? We all know what you're doing.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Do some laundry.
Trixie Mattel
Yeah, I'm just gonna step up. You mind if I just step outside?
Katya Zamolodchikova
Step outside and get the clothes from. The clothes.
Trixie Mattel
Yeah. I started to call her before 10am cuz that's before she starts. Before the edible token.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah.
Trixie Mattel
So I can get. It's like talking to her from 15 years younger. She's like, oh, good morning. Oh, yes.
Katya Zamolodchikova
And I'm like, different voice, different personality completely. Do you think that marijuana is good?
Trixie Mattel
I think it's fine.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Okay.
Trixie Mattel
I would say on the ladder of drugs, I would say it's the least damning to hell.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Don't you think it's the gateway drug straight to heroin?
Trixie Mattel
No, I don't. I think drinking is a bigger gateway drug than anything we drink to death. How many people say, oh, I only smoke when I drink. How many people say, oh, I'm trying to get silver on cocaine and so I can't drink because that I'll get cocaine.
Katya Zamolodchikova
So many people crack too. Oops, sorry.
Trixie Mattel
That's what the government doesn't want you to know. Okay.
Katya Zamolodchikova
That's what big Bud is denying.
Trixie Mattel
But don't worry about it, because this year for Pride, all of these liquor brands are pulling out as premium sponsors of pretty much every Pride. So don't worry about it, really.
Katya Zamolodchikova
It's so. Homophobia is back, baby.
Trixie Mattel
And this is why I wanted to talk about this. I thought about. I was driving on the way here. I was white knuckling. I was pissed off because all these years of us making memes and joking about corporate pride. Oh my God. You know the high gate brands during Pride month?
Katya Zamolodchikova
High gay.
Trixie Mattel
The reason we were joking about it is because we knew that it could turn on a dime.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah. And it did.
Trixie Mattel
And here we are, it's Pride Month. And as far as corporate coin, we're all looking around like John Travolta and Pulp Fiction with the wallet like, it's like, you fickle motherfuckers.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Wait, where did they go? Where did they. Who is.
Trixie Mattel
They pull out. They pull out of sponsorships. New York Pride, for example. I was just reading an article in the Advocate. New York Pride was listing all the different corporations who maybe in past years would give them $150,000 for Pride. Many of them have pulled out entirely, and the ones that have donated have donated tons less. And specifically asked to be, like, named. Don't put my logo on it. Like.
Katya Zamolodchikova
So who's doing the float? Castro? Syntek Motor oil.
Trixie Mattel
We have to. I just. I think we can expect a lot of paper. Mache paper.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Joanne's not even Joanne. She's probably homophobic. Certainly not like a lot of the fast food restaurants. Chick fil A. I don't care about their homophobic mirror. I love that chicken. Eat my ass.
Trixie Mattel
Okay. Well, it's really disappointing. You should apologize to your fans.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I don't have any fans.
Trixie Mattel
Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Oh, baby, I got so much to talk to you about today.
Trixie Mattel
What is it? I forget I got a lot of room. The ran through my bathroom.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Oh. I want to talk to you about something that's gonna be so boring to you and the listener. Because this is. It's because I can't show any pictures.
Trixie Mattel
But if you go above and beyond and say more than it looks good.
Katya Zamolodchikova
We do exactly that. Mary, when I tell you that this bathroom is so cunt. It is cunt. It is ripping and shredding up everybody's bathroom. My bath, your bathroom. Comes into my house, looks at my bathroom, and she just starts crying. Cause she'll never be that beautiful.
Trixie Mattel
Five other contestants quit on the spot.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I took a girl. Oh, okay. Hold on. Let me start with the water pressure. Before the mold, this bathroom was nothing to write home about. Okay? You turn on the thing. It's a little piddly thing. You gotta wait 35 minutes to get hot. The water pressure's like somebody's pissing on you. Right, Mama? I turned this thing on. It's a blast from hell. The water is hot in two seconds. And it's so refreshing. It's so nourishing, so cleansing. We got a regular spray from there. We got a waterfall option. And then we got a fucking hose for your booty hole. If you're gonna have anal sex, mama. We got all these three different shower shots. Yes, baby. It's not a shower shot. It's a Wand. Let me be clear.
Trixie Mattel
You better be careful with that.
Katya Zamolodchikova
It's a wand. It's a regular wand. It's like, it goes. It goes chew or it goes sho. You know what I mean?
Trixie Mattel
You put up the butt.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I haven't and I won't. But you could if you wanted to.
Trixie Mattel
So my thing, what I know about that is you can actually put too much water up there.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Of course, because the.
Trixie Mattel
The. The enema bulbs are sized in a way where if you put that whole amount of water up your butt, you're not going to do any major disturbance of the. This. The force.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah, you're just. And also, you're just clearing out the rectum because that's all we want to do when we're getting stooped and not fisted.
Trixie Mattel
But the shower shot, girl, you have water shit on your nose.
Katya Zamolodchikova
But that's why if you come into my little. Not my little shower, my gorgeous grand shower, right, you can. You can modify the pressure and the amount of water that goes up into your little booty hole. However, once if you do too much and you start freaking out, you can sit on the bench. Oh, there's a long bench that sits about five fucking people. And we got niches, three square niches. One, two, three. With lights underneath them. Lights underneath and then lights underneath the bench for a very erotic, moody experience. Mama, this bathroom is so lit. I like. I say thank you, mold. I love you, mold.
Trixie Mattel
This is like the most complete 180 full circle. 180?
Katya Zamolodchikova
No, no, no. It's a 180, not a full circle. Because the full circle would be. I hit the mold again. This is 180 degrees on the dot. I say mold.
Trixie Mattel
But did you know that you can renovate without mold?
Katya Zamolodchikova
But did you know I need mold? No, of course. But here's the thing about me, my personality. I'm 43 years old. I know myself, okay? Like, I never would have done shit to this place had it not been for a disaster. Out of necessity came this gorgeous, wonderful bathroom. I maybe would have painted. Probably not. I would have stuck a bunch of overpriced rugs over that shitty $2 carpet decoupage. Yeah, it's just I would have. I would have done nothing. And I'd be like, hey, I live in this horrible, ugly, three story piece of shit condo in crack and then just be miserable for the rest of my life. This place is so cunt. My bathroom, my bedroom. We did the bedroom, mama. I go in there, I almost cry. I go in there and I almost cry. And then I go in the bathroom. I almost skeet black toilet.
Trixie Mattel
I. How much did it all end up costing? Can I ask?
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah. So all together, so we did okay. We're talking about full demo, reno bathroom, main bathroom, large project, huge project. A top to bottom. I mean like tiles. Like I'm talking top to bottom. Everything must go. Same thing with the bedroom. Same thing with waterproofing the deck. Huge undertaking. Then demo. Complete demo reno of the bedroom downstairs. Painting, wood floor.
Trixie Mattel
Oh my God.
Katya Zamolodchikova
We wood floored the entire place. That's four bedrooms.
Trixie Mattel
Where is the staying at the shitty.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Fucking rental in WeHo. Thank God I'm out of that place. The worst house in the world. I'll get into that in a minute. But like we've done everything. It's a three, three story, four bedroom condo and I would say we've demoed and renoed about 68 to 72% of it. All told. 110 grand. That's nothing. That's actually nothing.
Trixie Mattel
To who?
Katya Zamolodchikova
It's not to. To people who demo in Renault. Stuff like Hollywood.
Trixie Mattel
Can I be honest? In Hollywood, my whole house, I think I paid 115.
Katya Zamolodchikova
You also did a television show where they paid.
Trixie Mattel
I didn't do bathrooms because bathrooms are one of the most expensive things you can do.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Well. Yeah, the. So let me get to give you waterproofing. The deck in itself was $25,000.
Trixie Mattel
They got you.
Katya Zamolodchikova
They got me good. But they also got the deck good because not one little drop is coming from that fucker. And in like it was a very. It's like when I say demo, like they knocked the shit out of it. It was nothing. And then they did it from the ground up. It was, I'm going to say, like it was probably. It's probably we're approaching a hundred thousand. Not much over it. Not much over it. And I am B R O K E. But happy. Yeah, broke but happy.
Trixie Mattel
Lisa Vanderpump told me that your home is your sanctuary, mama. The more you can come home and relax, the better you are when you go to work.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Do you realize when I said.
Trixie Mattel
Then I told her I'm not buying a $6,000 coffee table?
Katya Zamolodchikova
Okay, so let's talk about that. Because I. I don't want to be. So this is like very unrelatable to most people. I am obsessed with rugs.
Trixie Mattel
Okay.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Carpets. And I'm on like. I'm like a little. I'm a on first dibs. Don't ever buy anything on first dibs. Anybody. Don't ever. Unless you want to get scam Tina'd. It is. It's a website for ultra rich people who don't know anything about anything.
Trixie Mattel
Baby, if you even download the app Cherish.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Oh.
Trixie Mattel
If you even download Cherish, they come to your house, they start a girl. They come to your house, they lay you down, they tie you up, and they have men come in and deposit loads. Baby, Cherish is.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I got full body chills right now, girl.
Trixie Mattel
Cherish. I was. I was on Cherish, and I was like, you know, I really want a small aviary for the backyard. Something kind of decorative. Maybe I'll put plants in it. Oh, I like this aviary. Oh, it's in California. $20,000. And I've fuck Is on Cherish.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I was on Cherish. You this. I told this story before, but I will. I learned once, and I will never visit her again. When that woman with a. With a bum leg came with her.
Trixie Mattel
The white glove service.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Glove service from Cherish. $800 shipping charge for a, I don't know, $6,000 bed frame that weighed about 4 tons. And I'm like, oh, great. They'll take care of it. I expected big, burly men with crisp white gloves. A fat lady with a bum leg came and said, here we go. Never again. Never again. I'm looking on first is. Which is Cherish, his sister. They're both. They're raping you. It's a tag team, right? And I'm like, oh, I love this rug. It's an oversized rug. It's kind of Moroccan style. $40,000.
Trixie Mattel
That's what I'm saying.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Like, who's buying a $40,000 rug?
Trixie Mattel
What is going on? What is going on?
Katya Zamolodchikova
I don't know.
Trixie Mattel
What is going on?
Katya Zamolodchikova
I don't know. So what I did, I bought a rug off first dibs. Then, like a good little Nancy Drew mama. I went to the vendor. I called up the vendor, the gallery in New York, who sells through first dibs. I was like, can we get. Can we come to an agreement of some kind?
Trixie Mattel
Somebody say something about a rug?
Katya Zamolodchikova
Of course they did.
Trixie Mattel
Somebody say something about a rug?
Katya Zamolodchikova
Did somebody say something about a. A wholesale price?
Trixie Mattel
You know, I don't think I ever told that story in this pot.
Katya Zamolodchikova
What?
Trixie Mattel
What? My mom. Did I ever talk about that, Nick?
Katya Zamolodchikova
I. I'm pretty sure we have Just.
Trixie Mattel
Say something when my mom visited. Oh, we did. Okay.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah.
Trixie Mattel
It's like a thing. I say it all the time now. Does somebody say something about, like, if I'm hungry, I'm like, did somebody say something? About some Mr. Charlie's. Like, whatever you want. You say, did somebody say something about.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Did somebody say something? That's a white glove service.
Trixie Mattel
Did somebody say something about Cherish coming into my home? The only.
Katya Zamolodchikova
My daughter.
Trixie Mattel
The only Cherish I want to know about is Valerie Cherish.
Katya Zamolodchikova
The only one with a Madonna single. Cherish. The one I love.
Trixie Mattel
Crazy. Everything. Furniture, Mama paint.
Katya Zamolodchikova
It's so rotten. There is no reason I have. Of course, I visit her every once in a while, but you know what I do? I visit her for reference.
Trixie Mattel
Right.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Okay. It's. It's a. It's an Etsy. Or not. Sorry. It's a. It's a Pinterest.
Trixie Mattel
It's. It's a Pinterest vision board.
Katya Zamolodchikova
It's a vision board.
Trixie Mattel
Vision board.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Inspiration.
Trixie Mattel
And then you sit home and you say, how can I create that sofa from a bunch of empty pizza boxes?
Katya Zamolodchikova
No, no, you say. You say the image, and you go, google image. Search that. That's what you do.
Trixie Mattel
You don't double laughs and the devil laughs.
Katya Zamolodchikova
You don't ever. Unless you're fucking Dakota Johnson or fudgeing the rock. You don't ever buy anything off first dibs or Cherish unless you want to get R A P E D in the bank account.
Trixie Mattel
Speaking of, did you watch that new Netflix program about the gentleman who was murdered in D.C. no. 3 gay men live in a house. A straight guy comes over and they all say that he. They, like, heard a scream and an intruder came down and killed the straight guy. And then they find semen in the straight guy's butt. And guess who? Semen. It was his own. And so they still don't. Yes. You need to watch it. And it's still like a mystery.
Katya Zamolodchikova
He graped himself, but.
Trixie Mattel
Yes, but can I tell you how I found out about this? I was in D.C. just a couple days ago, kicking off D.C. pride. Yeah, real pride. Gay. And I was with my friend who lives there, and she goes, I said, will you show me that murder house? And I hadn't seen the doc yet, but I heard about it. And she said, it's on this block. And I said, can you do me a favor? I'm very psychic, and lately I've been really pushing it. Don't tell me which house it is. I'm gonna tell you which house.
Katya Zamolodchikova
You'll be like, the bitch in long life.
Trixie Mattel
She's like, well, do you don't know which side it on? I said, la, la, la, la, la. Irrelevant. I'm walking, I'm walking, I'm Walking and walking. I turn, I go, it's that one. It was that one.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Did you go knock on the door and instantly someone shot you in the face? Like in.
Trixie Mattel
Well, can I be honest? It was the one next to it, so I guess that's technically not it. But. But on a whole block. But on a whole block.
Katya Zamolodchikova
And it did have a bunch of crime scene tape, but can I say.
Trixie Mattel
It was three townhouses joined. That's the same fucking building.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you're right, you're right, you're right.
Trixie Mattel
And I had no, like, prior knowledge.
Katya Zamolodchikova
So how are we going to. How are we going to. How are we going to translate this into casino money? Dollars?
Trixie Mattel
So far, the only thing I can predict is deaths that have already happened. So I can't help anybody. If I had like a CSI show, like a psychic show, it'd be me showing up and being like, dead, right? I dreamed dead. Sorry, I'll go now.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Maybe you could be like, work with the funeral directors.
Trixie Mattel
Like, she would have wanted a bouffant. She wants a garage door.
Katya Zamolodchikova
No, I mean, like, you better.
Trixie Mattel
Girl, if I was a funeral director, do you know that I would be debuting people's grandmas with fucking grills? So we gave her a 38 inch yaki bundle weave and a fucking grill. And I tattooed hard under her eyes. And she looks great.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Always tired, girl.
Trixie Mattel
I gave her a six blonde snack pony. I wonder what Katya's thinking about while we snack on these delicious, healthy, wonderful pistachios. I bet she's thinking about how each serving has 6 grams of protein and 0 grams of regret. Knowing her, she's probably anthropomorphizing pistachios and asking the question, if pistachios were a man, would I marry him? Would we have little green babies named Sally and Shelly? No. She's not as weird as I am.
Katya Zamolodchikova
My pistachio man would be tall, green, slightly salty and easy to crack open. He'd hold me on a cold night and make me feel safe. He'd be my craveable snack that tastes too good to be good for me. At brunch with my friends, they jokingly refer to him as my hot pistachio daddy. He'd drive a nice sensible car and cook rustic pasta dishes for me. He would smell like roasted chilies and jalapeno lime.
Trixie Mattel
These wonderful pistachios are insanely delicious. I could eat them anywhere. Backstage at a show, on an airplane, in the bathtub, like a Roman emperor after returning home from a victorious military Conquest.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I wonder if Trixie would agree with me that these these things are the tastiest snack in the world. From honey roasted to dill pickle, I would do unspeakable things to procure a bag of wonderful pistachios. If I lacked hands, I'd open the shells with my thighs. I would ride a majestic yellow unicorn into battle if it meant popping a single roasted salted pistachio in my mouth.
Trixie Mattel
Katya would probably judge me if she knew I dreamed of pistachios on a regular basis. I mean, last night I dreamt that I was in line at the DMV and they told me my real ID would be delayed for six months. I screamed at the pistachio man behind the glass for minutes before devouring him. His name was Greg and he was delicious.
Katya Zamolodchikova
These pistachios are so good. I actually had a nut based dream last night. I was in a grocery store in nothing but my silky negligee, holding a ferret and screaming in Shakespearean English, oh pistachio, pistachio. Wherefore art thou, pistachio?
Trixie Mattel
I feel like these wonderful pistachios have placed us on the same mental plane. I wonder if we can communicate to each other without talking. Hey Katya, do you know the website where people can go to learn about wonderful pistachios, one of the tastiest snack nuts?
Katya Zamolodchikova
You must be thinking of going to wonderful pistachios.com to learn more.
Trixie Mattel
That's the site. Visit wonderful pistachios.com to Learn more.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Oh my God. Are we talking to each other via esp?
Trixie Mattel
I think we are.
Katya Zamolodchikova
This is the best moment of my life.
Trixie Mattel
And all thanks to the magic of wonderful pistachios.
Angie
Let's talk about Angie. Anybody who owns a home knows how much work it takes. Whether you're dealing with daily maintenance, emergency fixes, or even a dream renovation, it's so hard to find the right help. Luckily, Angie has been connecting people with skilled Pros for over 30 years, and they've made it easier than ever to get your home projects done well, because Angie gives you access to a nationwide network of tradespeople with the right skills. Experts in over 50 categories, from plumbing and landscaping to roofing and remodels. Just bring Angie your project. Answer a few questions and Angie connects you with nearby pros who match your needs. You can easily read reviews, check out photos of past work and request, and compare quotes to find your best price. Which means you could tackle the next home project in just a few taps. So join the millions of homeowners who use Angie to care for their homes. Download the free Angie app today or visit angie.com that's a n g I dot com.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I just rewatched that Madonna. I guess it's a commercial. I don't know if it's a commercial. It's like, have you ever seen it? It's like she's walking up. Oh, God. Can we just kind of just.
Trixie Mattel
Why acting like you don't know what a commercial is? Because it's not. I think it's called a commercial.
Katya Zamolodchikova
No, no, no, no. I'm going to. You need to just give me. But, you know, 10 seconds.
Trixie Mattel
That's me. When someone doesn't have YouTube Premium and they turn on a YouTube video and an ad starts, I look around like.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Mama, I was watching a documentary on Yakutia, a city in Russia, last night on YouTube. All of a sudden, commercial started playing. I I.
Trixie Mattel
Did you pray today?
Katya Zamolodchikova
I dropped the remote. And I like, no, I like the sofa.
Trixie Mattel
And I look around the room, out of the room like a. As if a ghost just descends. I, like, back out slowly.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I was like, am I me?
Trixie Mattel
You know? You know who I am. I'm adore. I don't belong. Like, that's me. When someone. I really believe. I really believe that all cable and streaming is scams. But YouTube Premium is worth every Mama.
Katya Zamolodchikova
They are. They are the light in the darkness for me.
Trixie Mattel
They are. I think at this point, YouTube Premium is 40 bucks a month. Doesn't matter.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay, wait, hold on. It's cunty.
Trixie Mattel
If I hear you, too bad. I'll kick the out of you.
Madonna
They call me the queen of pop. I know it's a compliment, but the monarchy is in the past. I am not. I have no age. I'm all ages. It's not about who I am. It's about how many I am.
Trixie Mattel
Is this real?
Madonna
Count my age, achievements, the number of years I have lived on this planet. I'm always reinventing myself so that I can keep.
Katya Zamolodchikova
She's a girl.
Madonna
Myself, I think the most controversial thing.
Trixie Mattel
I've ever done, a George Portman girl.
Madonna
Is to stick around. I have seen many stars appear and disappear like shooting stars, but my light will never fade.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Everyone is coming to the future now.
Trixie Mattel
It's actually hard to make fun of that, because I do.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Look at those. The visuals are. She is, like, traipsing through this, like, crazy cathedral. She's got pearls in her mouth.
Madonna
Tomorrow, in the next 100 years.
Trixie Mattel
She'S kind of doing that Caitlyn Jenner slur, though.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Well, she's got a grill in her mouth.
Trixie Mattel
Oh, you're kind of doing that like.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah, just woke up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Trixie Mattel
But it's hard for me to make fun of that because.
Katya Zamolodchikova
No, it was. I got full body chill.
Trixie Mattel
She's awesome.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I got full body chill.
Trixie Mattel
She's awesome.
Katya Zamolodchikova
And she's. She's wearing this incredibly opulent outfit walking through the stairs. I mean, it looks like she's in St. Peter's Basilisk.
Trixie Mattel
That's how you feel in your bathroom. Yeah. You feel in your bathroom. That's how you feel with one of your shitty little towels wrapped around that wiry little body.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Because I didn't have any towels.
Trixie Mattel
Girl, that's you drip drying in your bathroom with a little turd trailer behind you.
Katya Zamolodchikova
It was me just soaking wet, naked, walking down my new hardwood stairs trying to find a towel.
Trixie Mattel
Can I tell you, I gotta stop running down the stairs in my house barefoot?
Katya Zamolodchikova
Are you right? Are you. No. Socked.
Trixie Mattel
That's what I mean. Socked.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Mom is socked on hardwood stairs. Maybe when I tell you about my next little. My next little hobby project is going to be runners on those stairs to prevent death and maimed. You want to be maimed and dead.
Trixie Mattel
You know, speaking of people who are fickle on pride, Miss Madonna. Miss Madonna Ciccone.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah. Madonna.
Trixie Mattel
That fucking whore.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah.
Trixie Mattel
As was was Ms. Support the Gays long before it was fudgeing. Cool.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah. I think her brother's gay.
Trixie Mattel
She's fierce. Madonna gives a fog.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah, I think her.
Trixie Mattel
But Donna gives.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Oh, yeah, yeah, she. She gives a big fuck. Lots of huge fucks. That.
Trixie Mattel
But that.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I don't know what that that video was for other than just like, hey, guys.
Trixie Mattel
But you know the level of confidence I possess at times in manic, like manic states. If I put on a little this morning while I was driving here, I was at a red light and I put on anything like Dolce and Gabbana tinted lip oil. And I looked in the mirror and.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I was like, is that not islands coming to the future, girl.
Trixie Mattel
That was me. Do you know that every time I drive here, I miss the exit and have to drive through Universal Studios.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Do you go on the highway, mama? You need to get into Cahuenga Pass.
Trixie Mattel
DB Couenga Pass.
Katya Zamolodchikova
It's all, all of New York is wrapped up.
Trixie Mattel
I'm Kuenga Pass.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I'm Kuenga Passable.
Trixie Mattel
I'm Kuenga Passable. What did I text? I Text her yester. I said, are you ready for the pod? Ms. Cross, wait.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I want to float a business venture idea to the. To the people out there that have already floated to you. I truly believe in my heart that we must make a calendar. So you know how Violet Chachki makes calendars and they're incredible. I have every. I have all them. I have everyone.
Trixie Mattel
Yeah.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Wonderful photo shoot. Sometimes themed, sometimes not. She always looks kind of amazing. Always happy to turn the year.
Trixie Mattel
Feel a little long.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah.
Trixie Mattel
I mean that as a compliment because you're. You're horny for the next picture.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Exactly.
Trixie Mattel
You're like 30 more days.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah. Sometimes I'm like, February, fuck you. I'm going to March.
Trixie Mattel
Every year when she puts out that calendar, I think it's you and me and every comment like, oh, fuck, I. You know, I'm. I'm hard.
Katya Zamolodchikova
We go for that calendar, we are going to do the opposite. We're going to do a Tiffany club crossy Crossy crossing over John Edwards style photo shoot every month, themed, of course, but I'm talking slacks, camisoles, chemises, sandals, mules, mother of pearl toe buckles, flat wigs, brown lashes, maybe some liner, maybe not. And we're going to do.
Trixie Mattel
And a viral perfume from the TikTok shop. 14 bucks for sure.
Katya Zamolodchikova
And with. And then all it's going to have the vogue description of like Trixie Mattel is wearing and Taylor Loft, you know, da da da da, JCPenney Marshall's and that's it. And we're just going to be like, I think there's to be all in one day.
Trixie Mattel
I have no interest in us doing a photo shoot where we're in Trixie and cot to drag. No, I want to do.
Katya Zamolodchikova
You're going to be scuff barns, bronze ombre wigs. Flat wigs, flat wigs.
Trixie Mattel
Brown lashes.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Brown lashes.
Trixie Mattel
Maybe contouring.
Katya Zamolodchikova
And for the really big finish, we're going to do 301s. Drooping way down.
Trixie Mattel
Just the bottoms? Yeah, just the bottoms. Do you know what really cooks?
Katya Zamolodchikova
Me. But really drooping.
Trixie Mattel
Really cook. And I know pride is here and I know a lot of you like to get in your little drag, you.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Know, good for you.
Trixie Mattel
But when you wear the bottom lashes and you wear them upside down so they go like this.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Nobody's doing that. Are you nuts? What are you nuts?
Trixie Mattel
Open your eyes.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Who the fuck.
Trixie Mattel
It's anatomically. It'd be like wearing your tits upside down. It's fucking crazy.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Upside down. Bra on the back.
Trixie Mattel
On the back.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Why not why your bra straps around the here.
Trixie Mattel
Can you see my nipples in this?
Katya Zamolodchikova
No.
Trixie Mattel
On the way here, I was like, are people gonna be able to see my nipples? Because what if they have questions about why I'm so why would you try.
Katya Zamolodchikova
To make them perky?
Trixie Mattel
Well, I thought, are people gonna have questions about why they're so dark? But to be fair, I have questions about why they're so dark.
Katya Zamolodchikova
What are these questions? Such as why?
Trixie Mattel
Well, my skin is so fair and the nipples are dark. You know what latrice said to me? She said, oh, your nipples. Now I know what color your butthole is. And I'm not a doctor, but I think Latrice is Dr. Royale. But I'm not interested in this gay life where we think our buttholes need to be a light satin pink either. Mine's a lovely navy bean blue.
Katya Zamolodchikova
They need to be. Oh, I don't want to talk about butthole color. But that's weird. Is there a correlation?
Trixie Mattel
I don't know.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Sound off in the comments. Sound off in the comments.
Trixie Mattel
Doesn't even remember it.
Katya Zamolodchikova
We have a lot of dermatologists Dermatological.
Trixie Mattel
Event in the drag community.
Katya Zamolodchikova
We have a lot of dermatologists fans. So please sign off for the comments.
Trixie Mattel
I do think there's an issue with drag queens not wanting to go to the doctor. Have you ever been in a drag show where you see someone change and you go, hey, that leg is your arm. Snowman arm. It's breaking off. Like, were you gonna head into the.
Katya Zamolodchikova
So you're gonna do the show with that club foot girl?
Trixie Mattel
Tiffany club butt. It's the Tiffany club butt, honey. It's the Tiffany club foot honey.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Ooh. I don't want to be ableist, but maybe we should feature an injury in each. In each.
Trixie Mattel
Well, a different physical ability. What I like about drag is one of the things I like. There's a lot of ways to do drag where you'd really. You could have a lot of hidden disabilities. You could have a lot of different types of limitations. And drag is like, I could have.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Been a paraplegic these last four years because of Netflix in this show.
Trixie Mattel
100%.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Have you ever seen me get up and walk away? I don't think so.
Trixie Mattel
We were supposed to be at Netflix today. Could you imagine we would be in.
Katya Zamolodchikova
The Devil in drag right now? Yeah, I'm not trying to do that.
Trixie Mattel
It's too much.
Katya Zamolodchikova
It's too much. I don't think people realize. Oh, oh. This is something I actually wanted to talk about. The gratitude I Dropped into a huge reservoir of gratitude on the drive here because I got to thinking about how. Shut up. I got to think of how stressful it is to start your first day at work somewhere. Oh, Ruby. I thought, I thought like, do you.
Trixie Mattel
Remember, do you remember like starting typing a resume?
Katya Zamolodchikova
Do you remember like the first day at work at a store or someplace? And then I was like, oh my God, my first day work here or any of these drag jobs. It was like, it's not even, it's not even. You can't even compare the way that I would get twisted up, not sleep, that horrible feeling of getting acclimated to a new job. It's the worst.
Trixie Mattel
Yeah, it's all new people having to learn a new everything, even in stuff.
Katya Zamolodchikova
That like, you know logically that anybody could do it, like running a cash register or something. But like, but it's still so like that, that second day when you don't know how to do everything and you have a long line of customers and your supervisors in the bathroom and you start freaking out. Like, I, that was just like.
Trixie Mattel
Well, even if like, like bars, a lot of people use aloha, a lot of people use toast. Like if you've been in bars and restaurants long enough, you have some semblance of how to use all of those. But the menu is different, right. And the way the kitchen prefers things to be typed in is different. There's always a new way.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah.
Trixie Mattel
You know what? I think about that all the time also when I have friends who are like, I have a friend right now who just found a new job and I forgot I was looking for a new job and looking for jobs. When they're talking about that, I'm always like, you asked the wrong.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I know.
Trixie Mattel
I have been self employed for 17 years.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I've never had a resume. I've never had a proper cv like a, like an actual CV that's done. Like if I were trying to apply for an entry level job in an office thing, I would be like crackhead, crack hoe. Like, you know what I mean? I don't, I, I, it's just cracker, cracker, honky crackhoe looking for work.
Trixie Mattel
Local Crossy Tegan, Crossy Tegan, Dming people.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Cracker looking for employment aged.
Trixie Mattel
Mr. Mr. Bricky Lake down here at the function trying to get employed.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Did someone say something on a paycheck?
Trixie Mattel
Somebody say something about a 9 to 5 Mary? What would we do in a 9 to 5 girl?
Katya Zamolodchikova
Get fired.
Trixie Mattel
Although sometimes when we're on set, I'm like, We would have gone. If this is 9 to 5, we would have been at home.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Obama. We do 9 to 5. We do 9 on 9am on Monday to 5pm on Tuesday.
Trixie Mattel
Well, when we have like two days at Netflix, I don't have kids at home. Know we do two a day.
Katya Zamolodchikova
We work for that cash. We work.
Trixie Mattel
We do. And we. We get up at 6:30. I get up on 6:30 to get in drag for those days. And we will leave set at 5:6.
Katya Zamolodchikova
5:6.
Trixie Mattel
Sometimes over that long is so.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Well, then the kiss, the death, crazy. That's all. That's one thing. It's like, okay, hard day work, but it's fun. Fun.
Trixie Mattel
So fun.
Katya Zamolodchikova
And then, you know, it's not fun, mama. That second day.
Trixie Mattel
The second day.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Talk about that second day.
Trixie Mattel
But that's why the trick is the day before or after, you have to not be in drag. You have to. You have to not be in drag.
Katya Zamolodchikova
No shit. We used to do this. We used to have to do like, so Monday, Netflix Tuesday, Netflix Wednesday and Thursday or something like that. That was like, impossible. Because also, I don't know if people realize we run out of shit to talk. There's nothing to talk about. There's nothing to react to. And like you especially having to do after where you have to like, spin gold out of nothing.
Trixie Mattel
Right.
Katya Zamolodchikova
It was so tough. And also there's no bathroom. But like, it's just. Yeah, it's. I. It's like I'm so grateful to not have to go through that anxiety because I wouldn't sleep. I would not sleep.
Trixie Mattel
The gratitude. I mean, shout out to the divas looking for jobs, switching jobs.
Katya Zamolodchikova
It also takes a lot of getting laid off.
Trixie Mattel
It's also a lot of anxiety to leave a job, even if you hate it.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah.
Trixie Mattel
The day you actually have to leave, you're like, oh, shit, I'm leaving.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah. It's so. I'm so lucky. So lucky.
Angie
Let's talk about Angie. Anyone who owns a home knows how much work it takes. Whether you're dealing with daily maintenance, emergency fixes, or even a dream renovation, it's so hard to find the right help. Luckily, Angie's been connecting people with skilled pros for 30 years, and they've made it easier than ever to get your home projects done. Well, because Angie gives you access to a nationwide network of tradespeople with the right Skillseperts in over 50 categories, from plumbing and landscaping to roofing and remodels. Just bring Angie your project, answer a few questions, and Angie connects you with nearby pros who match your needs. You can easily read reviews, check out photos of past work and request, and compare quotes to find your best price. Which means you could tackle that next home project in just a few taps. So join the millions of homeowners who use Angie to care for their homes. Download the free Angie app today or visit angie.com that's a n g I.com.
Let'S talk about Angie. Anybody who owns a home knows how much work it takes. Whether you're dealing with daily maintenance, emergency fixes, or even a dream renovation, it's so hard to find the right help. Luckily, Angie has been connecting people with skilled pros for over 30 years and they've made it easier than ever to get your home projects done well, because Angie gives you access to a nation of wide network of tradespeople with the right skills, Experts in over 50 categories from plumbing and landscaping to roofing and remodels. Just bring Angie your project, answer a few questions and Angie connects you with nearby pros who match your needs. You can easily read reviews, check out photos of past work and request, and compare quotes to find your best price. Which means you could tackle the next home project in just a few taps. So join the millions of homeowners who use Angie to care for their homes. Download the free Angie app today or visit angie.com that's a n g I.com.
Lululemon
When you hear Lululemon, you probably think of Align yoga pants. Weightlessly soft, like you're wearing next to nothing. That's why you see them in class, at the grocery store and in the park. But did you did you know about skirts with built in liner shorts so you can still jump for the Frisbee and tanks and bodysuits? With Align's iconic stretch you won't want to take it off. And with endless style options, you don't have to shop in store or online@lululemon.com.
Trixie Mattel
There'S nothing worse though. When somebody you're kind of mid level friends with at work is leaving and you all have to go say bye to drink at a function.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I've never had that.
Trixie Mattel
Oh, when somebody's leaving and you all have to act like they're shooting to space, it's like she's going to work at the Laura Mercier counter next door. Why are acting like we're never gonna see this again?
Katya Zamolodchikova
She's downstairs at the T mobile kiosk.
Trixie Mattel
We're still gonna see this hull with a clear bag at the Macy's employee check in. Yeah, that's A difference.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Tackle us at the fragrance department when we walk through the mall.
Trixie Mattel
Only difference is now she has to open store credit cards. What's the difference, Mama?
Katya Zamolodchikova
Shout out to the people who have to sign people up for rewards cards at their retail jobs. I had to quit.
Trixie Mattel
I had to quit, Mary. Shout out to the Ran through dolls. I, I, I was at World Market the other day.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I'm soaking the chair today.
Trixie Mattel
I went to World Market the other day because, you know, because what is this World Market in our amicable, lovely separation? And now I'm missing certain things in the home.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Oh.
Trixie Mattel
Oh, shoot. I need trash cans.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Oh, sure.
Trixie Mattel
Things I didn't buy with my money. And I'm like, I need trash cans. Whatever.
Katya Zamolodchikova
What's World Market?
Trixie Mattel
World Markets at the Grove. I can't even describe what they sell because I don't think they fucking know what they say.
Katya Zamolodchikova
What is it?
Trixie Mattel
It's the TikTok Shop. Brick and mortar, Mom.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I got to get in there because I don't. I don't want to fuck with Ms. Amazon anymore, okay?
Trixie Mattel
So.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Ooh, World Market.
Trixie Mattel
Urban Outfitters, as far as eclectic, but it's shit you really don't need.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Okay, perfect.
Trixie Mattel
Do you want to get your root beer flavored soup from Lima? Like, weird shit.
Katya Zamolodchikova
But do they have. Do they have gold and black toilet paper?
Trixie Mattel
A display.
Katya Zamolodchikova
No, no, no, Mama, I'm not buying a rug. A prefab, like a machine made rug from a store at the Grove, baby.
Trixie Mattel
Oh, okay.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I'm a hand knotted from Tibet, right? 15K.
Trixie Mattel
Well, world market, they don't know what they're saying. What, they have booze. It's, It's. I think, I think what they're doing. Can you look up their mission statement? Like, what are they actually. Like, what are they actually doing? Because I went in there because I was like, all right, what's the. I was having that backyard shenanigan that you came to.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yes.
Trixie Mattel
And I was like, oh, I'm going to need some things for the pool. I need.
Katya Zamolodchikova
They sell floaties.
Trixie Mattel
Well, I needed, I needed plastic glassware that people could have at the pool. Not break.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah, yeah.
Trixie Mattel
So I was like, I'm gonna go down to World Market. I need some trash cans. I need some new throw pillows. You know, I needed things in the home to, to replace. So I went to World Market. Cleaned out first. Can't explain that. Can't explain that. Dead serious. Cleaned out because I knew. I was like, I'm not gonna be going poop at the mall. I'm. I'm I'm getting ready for a.
Katya Zamolodchikova
You're like Alyssa Edwards, cleaning out before a show.
Trixie Mattel
Cleaned out. I got on my camel, I put on my COVID 19 mask, and I rode into the sunset. So I go to the world market, and I'm getting everything.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Oh, God. What'd you get?
Trixie Mattel
I got. So I got a bunch of trash cans. My secret life interior design hack that I encourage everyone to use is trash cans are almost all ugly.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Oh, no, I got a good one.
Trixie Mattel
Pot potter, pottery. No, no, no, no, no, no. When you buy a plant to put, like a ceramic thing.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah.
Trixie Mattel
Make gorgeous trash can. And they look so much better like a ceramic thing. You would put a plant in a.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Pot of a planter.
Trixie Mattel
Put trash in there.
Katya Zamolodchikova
A planter.
Trixie Mattel
Yes.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Doesn't close.
Trixie Mattel
Yeah, but I get a bathroom. What are you doing in there? It's a tissue. It's a.
Katya Zamolodchikova
What are you doing in the bathroom?
Trixie Mattel
But I mean.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Oh, you're not putting in the trash can, right? Yeah, So I have.
Trixie Mattel
And I empty them at least once a week.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah.
Trixie Mattel
So it's not. I know.
Katya Zamolodchikova
No, I feel you on that.
Trixie Mattel
I also think it's jail. Any. Like a banana peel away in the bathroom. Don't do all that.
Katya Zamolodchikova
No, we're not putting perishables in the bathroom. You've got your nose. You're putting a tissue.
Trixie Mattel
You go to my house, you sit in the toilet. You see a bunch of high chew wrappers in there. You mind your business, all right?
Katya Zamolodchikova
You see half. You. Half a plate of meatloaf in there. You shut the.
Trixie Mattel
You mind your business to me. If something's going out, something's coming in, all right?
Katya Zamolodchikova
I get. Oh, I love trash love.
Trixie Mattel
So the moral of the story is, I've got multiple carts. I've got everything multiple.
Katya Zamolodchikova
You got your. Your double fisting carts.
Trixie Mattel
I've got multiple carts. I've got planters. I've got things for the party. What you came.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Who you came to?
Trixie Mattel
I've got different types of booze, exciting bottles. A white wine where the. The wine bottle looked like a fish. I had to have that.
Katya Zamolodchikova
That's fun. That's fun.
Trixie Mattel
Had to have that.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Had to have it.
Trixie Mattel
And, you know, and I. I felt like Coco Peru in the world Market. I walked in and I was just like, have to have it. Got, you know, mad at things that I understand. Too excited. Can you check in the back and eat two more of.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah.
Trixie Mattel
I get to the end. The gentleman at the register was pushing I. And I overheard the card. Well, I overheard a boss talking to an employee saying, you know, for the hours you work and the cards you open, we'd like to get your proportion a little more cards. And I feel for people because I've never been in a store, we had to open cards. But I know that that's like a major thing because when I worked at the Mac counter, the Macy's employees would be like, if you open a card for me, I will give you a free bottle of Nicki Minaj Pink Friday. And I'd be like, would you like a card? So make it happen. Yeah, but this, I got up to this gentleman. I didn't ask the pronoun. It's 20. 25 gentleman, sure. Sir appeared to be a 50 year old cis male.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Okay. Like he looked like Henry Cavill. Right.
Trixie Mattel
So I'm gonna say he.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah.
Trixie Mattel
And tried to get rid of the card. And then of course there's a 20. Now you know me, I love a loyalty program. I love a deal. Sometimes when the credit card has like a 20 off and you are spending a lot of money, you're like, well, damn near. It's like paying me to shop.
Katya Zamolodchikova
That's why I got the Best buy card when I bought my six. I have the best car, television. I saved a thousand dollars. What do you think I did when I paid that card off? I cut it up and put it in the trash.
Trixie Mattel
I still have mine. I love it. We buy for the YouTube channel. We buy. I use the Best buy card for things like camera equipment like that anyway.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Oh yeah, because you spend a lot of dough on tech stuff.
Trixie Mattel
For tech stuff. Boring stuff.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah, yeah, girl.
Trixie Mattel
Memory cards, hard drives. Expensive, exciting purchase.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Very boring, very expensive.
Trixie Mattel
But they can be really expensive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those little orange hard drives, girl.
Katya Zamolodchikova
You walk into this motherfucker's YouTube thing.
Trixie Mattel
Where, where we at Universal Studios, where we absolutely are. Thank you so much.
Katya Zamolodchikova
It's, it's, it's, it's very like whoa.
Trixie Mattel
Yeah. So he's, he's making, he's got like a first, you want to up in a card? No. And then he's like, it's 20. I'm like. And then he. And then he's thrown in the validated parking. And eventually I had to be like, I had to break the wrist and walk away. Because I do feel like as a shopper, if you say no to the card, it really should stop there a hundred percent. I know it's your job to offer, but if I say no, thank you. I don't even have a Gelson's card and I Know that those are free.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I don't even have a Ralph's card. And I'm not interested because guess what?
Trixie Mattel
When they say, do you have a Ralph's card? You say no. They grab a card off the wall and they scan it. So why don't you, girl?
Katya Zamolodchikova
And I don't fuck with Ms. Gelson because she. She grapes you. She grapes the girls. I'm sorry. Yes, she's gorgeous and lovely and so well put together. I don't fucking care. Cuz Ralph's food is just as good. Even though I got food posting from blueberries.
Trixie Mattel
I didn' know Gelson was fancy. You know, told me that Jennifer, Jennifer goes Gelson, Mama.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Wow, Gelson. You might as well go get a $19 Haley Baber milkshake from Arowan.
Trixie Mattel
Girl. I had that.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Gelson is so overpriced. We so overpriced.
Trixie Mattel
We had that little pool party you came over. By the way, my friend here comes over, goes in the guest house, stays for 35 minutes and leaves without saying by.
Katya Zamolodchikova
You don't know how. You know how long I stayed, Left.
Trixie Mattel
Without saying, bye, Mama.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I let some people in in the front. I was doing. I was doing door duty. I'm not joking, but joking Nick campbed at the front. I let people.
Trixie Mattel
Nick had to leave early too.
Katya Zamolodchikova
But, but what is Nick do gonna go to 40? He had worked 45 people. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. Oh, goodbye. Oh, don't leave.
Trixie Mattel
Say bye to the host.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Mama, I'm here right now.
Trixie Mattel
This faggot left, right? My only fucking. My best friend there. I'm walking around going, have you guys seen Katya? And people are. Oh, I think she just left. Great.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Mama. You know I'm Irish.
Trixie Mattel
Does that mean you go to someone's house and don't bring anything?
Katya Zamolodchikova
I brought paper.
Trixie Mattel
She brought paper towels. She brought paper to towels. Which by the way, barely pays me back for the time you came over and went grocery shopping in my house. You can't.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I didn't go grocery shopping. I just ate all the food.
Trixie Mattel
No, no, no, you didn't eat it. You walked by the charcuterie board I bought and went into my fridge, grabbed the brand new grapes and asked for a doggy bag.
Katya Zamolodchikova
That was a bit. I was doing a bit. Plus you rich hoe.
Trixie Mattel
I haven't had. I haven't had. I haven't had a party since I bought that house. That was.
Katya Zamolodchikova
That was fun though. For the 25 minutes I was there. It was really fun.
Trixie Mattel
It was. I mean, and you laugh. All of you laugh.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I didn't laugh. I'm not laughing.
Trixie Mattel
No, no, all of you laugh because my invite said 12 to 3.
Katya Zamolodchikova
No, baby, that is a hard on. That's a. That's a boner that I'm having. When I see that invitation, Nicole Byer, text me.
Trixie Mattel
Damn, bitch. Jump in the pool, get wet and go home.
Katya Zamolodchikova
No. Well, honey, mama, let's. Let's get this together. I left around 2 o' clock and people were just coming and I was.
Trixie Mattel
Like, mary, how long? Someone got there at 5 and they were a friend of mine.
Katya Zamolodchikova
That's why I was like, this does not check out. If I were the door person, I'd be. I would be like, go away.
Trixie Mattel
Two people showed up at like 5, and I seen them in the front yard smelling the roses. And I said, mama, do you know.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Hello means I'm in my bedroom slippers?
Trixie Mattel
Yeah, somebody was still over at 10.
Katya Zamolodchikova
So what's the. That's why you need me as a doorman.
Trixie Mattel
You faggots laugh at me because I say this is the time to leave.
Katya Zamolodchikova
No, mama, I showed up at 12:30.
Trixie Mattel
You did good.
Katya Zamolodchikova
And then I left around and the.
Trixie Mattel
Paper towels were really helpful. I'm sorry, I forgot.
Katya Zamolodchikova
No, no, it's you. You don't. This is my. This is. Okay, this is what my M.O. is. I'm going to a party. If, like going to this kind of party, first you respect. If it says it starts at 12, you show up at 12:30, you show up at 12:20. You show up at 12:00 o' clock, girl, you do a couple of rounds. You go around the block a few times. Okay, don't be honest.
Trixie Mattel
I was still running it.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Hello.
Trixie Mattel
I was still running, trying to get every 12, 10.
Katya Zamolodchikova
You're not even ready. So you show up at least a half an hour late. You bring something that does not need to be taken care of.
Trixie Mattel
Yeah.
Katya Zamolodchikova
You don't bring a whole fucking bouquet of 36 flowers.
Trixie Mattel
You could have brought napkins. You could have brought cloth napkins.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Sure.
Trixie Mattel
You know, I love the rose from Meal collection from William Sonoma. They have great napkins. And you could have brought.
Katya Zamolodchikova
You don't know if they're gonna go with all the themes in your crazy house. You know what I mean? So you bring something that doesn't need to be taken care of, that's very useful in the moment.
Trixie Mattel
Right.
Katya Zamolodchikova
You know? And then if you're gonna bring a dish, you leave the fucking dish there. You don't ask for it later.
Trixie Mattel
Oh, you leave the dish. Yes.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah, you're not gonna Be like, where's my dish?
Trixie Mattel
Like, I don't know, bitch, you're right.
Katya Zamolodchikova
You know what I mean? Disposable or a nice. Oh, maybe they'll like this dish. Leave it.
Trixie Mattel
Right.
Katya Zamolodchikova
It's. Cause it's really the dishes you're gonna bring.
Trixie Mattel
Yeah. And if you are good friends, next time you see that person, you bring it washed. And then you are that kind.
Katya Zamolodchikova
And also, maybe the food sucks, but the dish is cute.
Trixie Mattel
Well, I tried to make a bunt.
Katya Zamolodchikova
But you had this wonderful fucking. I've never seen anything like this. It's incredible. Like, it was like a. Like a buffet, like a mini buffet of brunch stuff. Or like bagels that was cunty.
Trixie Mattel
I made quiches. Thank God they worked because the bunt didn't work. So the quiches were in the oven and I was in front of it being like, please, but describe that thing.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I'm talking about because I really don't know how to describe it.
Trixie Mattel
The carousel of dreams.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Is that what it's called?
Trixie Mattel
That's what I call it.
Katya Zamolodchikova
It was a black owned business thing.
Trixie Mattel
Oh, okay. This black owned business that when people come up and they use the charcuterie board, I am always like. They're like, did you make this? And I say, no, it's a black owned business. Because I think it'd be wrong to say, yes, it was me. White people, the credit, right?
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah, it's horrible. But describe what was on it, because it was a wonderful spread of all different types of things that could appeal to many people.
Trixie Mattel
It was a brunch option. So it had like brunchy foods. We also made mini omelets. I made southern biscuits with cheddar on it. I made. Well, the bunt didn't work out.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah, we covered that.
Trixie Mattel
The bunt didn't work out. The bunt humbled me and hurt me so bad. It was, I think 1150. Humbled by the bunch. Kicked my bun. You want to kiss my bun, girl? It was like a movie where I'm like, 1150. The. The cream cheese drizzles just popping off.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Why are you trying to make something that's like a level four British Bake off type of thing? Why don't you just go for an angel foodcase?
Trixie Mattel
Like, I felt that if I'm going to order out for things like the charcuterie, you're not really a good host unless you make a few things. Some of it must be me, right?
Katya Zamolodchikova
You could cater the whole. You cater the whole.
Trixie Mattel
Can I be honest? In la, we come Over. If you just uber eats something. I'm leaving.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Oh, no.
Trixie Mattel
Can I tell you something? You're not ready to have guests.
Katya Zamolodchikova
You're not. Thank you.
Trixie Mattel
You're not ready for guests.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yes. This is a maybe a little bougie conversation. You know, if you're really poor and hate us for talking about race stuff, then just tune out for a minute.
Trixie Mattel
But like, no, no, no, no. Cooking for your guests. Cleaning for your guests. Class is not a class issue.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah, that's true. That's true.
Trixie Mattel
Right? Have you ever cookout fabulous foods? Yeah, potluck.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Oh, see? Oh, that's why I don't around. I don't go to potluck because I don't cook. And I'm not trying to. And I'm not trying. I just don't. And I say I. If I really, really like the people and maybe trying to wiggle my way in, I say, hey, what can I bring that's not a food item? I mean, I'll bring silverware, everything else. I'll wash dishes. I mean anything.
Trixie Mattel
And sometimes like my friend Shane, he popped over early, which was a blessing because I ordered from Fun Boy. Fun with the boy pool toys. I ordered a bunch of their pool toys and I love their pool toys. Okay. We've had many at the motel. Please don't be mad at me, Fun Boy. But I paid 108 for overnight shipping. Didn't come till 6 days later.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Love that. Well, it's overnight somewhere.
Trixie Mattel
I have that Barbie car with the canopy and I'm trying to blow it up. I'm trying to blow it up with my mouth. My eyes are red.
Katya Zamolodchikova
You don't have the bike.
Trixie Mattel
Skin is white.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Have the bike pump and the hole is this big.
Trixie Mattel
So I'm putting my mouth on the butthole of the pool toy and I'm going. And I'm like browning out. It's 11:30, the bunt is falling apart. And my friend Shane gets there and Shane pulls his car up. He has a plug into the car pull toy.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Oh, carbon monoxide poison inflates it and.
Trixie Mattel
I go, thank God. My eyes are tearing up like they're having to.
Katya Zamolodchikova
It would be fierce if the people show up in 1245. You're just dead in the girl.
Trixie Mattel
They have to use the pool toy inflator. They put it on my butt to blow me back up cuz I'm so could deflate it. But everybody, everybody I invited came, except Bob and Monet weren't in town. And Ms.
Katya Zamolodchikova
So I'm not so Ms. Simone. But as I was doing my Irish goodbye, I opened the door first. Simone, that is so otherworldly. Beautiful.
Trixie Mattel
I know, it's crazy. I know.
Katya Zamolodchikova
It's crazy. The nerve of her.
Trixie Mattel
Gotmik came over and Gotmik brought four cans of beer for herself, four cans of beer for himself. And he brought, brought. He brought four cans of beer and he brought a bottle of champagne that he got from Ubereats, but it was a personal size, it was this big. So he shows up with a bottle of champagne like this.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Brought my own booze.
Trixie Mattel
I know, I know. And then he goes, he goes, he goes, we're. We're joking. And he goes like it's very trans masks just bring beers to a gay party. We were laughing.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Oh, my God. We laugh.
Trixie Mattel
We have fun. We have fun. And then finally people got in the pool. I was afraid no one's gonna touch the food. No one's gonna in the pool. All it took is some of the hottest people there. That's the secret.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Trixie Mattel
Some of the hottest people there have to get in and something. Everyone face plants in it. Like those bees and those TikTok videos. Jumping in the gasoline. All these faggots are just huffing and jumping in face planning.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Oh, shit. One of the person, they will go unnamed whispered to me. He's like, so should I want to do some K? Should I? I was like, how should I was like, mama, discretion is the word. Okay.
Trixie Mattel
Discretion is the word. Thank you.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I was like, this is like, this ain't that kind of party. Capital D, discreet.
Trixie Mattel
These faggots worn me out. They. They put it turn on a spotlight and they start raking it like a Zen garden. Like they make.
Katya Zamolodchikova
It's too public. Where can I dump my like flour bag full of cocaine? It's like public. I know. 12 months, 12 to 3 on a Sunday is not exactly the drug moment. It's not exactly the drug moment.
Trixie Mattel
I think that I've. I haven't done ketamine in a long time, but I think that might be if you're not drinking. Maybe a lovely little moment for you.
Katya Zamolodchikova
You. A lovely little moment with a. In a locked bathroom.
Trixie Mattel
Yeah.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I'm saying I just don't. I don't like. I mean, you know, do you think.
Trixie Mattel
It was rude because I put the food in the guest house? I thought maybe I was communicating to people. Get the out of my house. But I thought it was more accessible.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I thought that was a very smart move because you're, you're, you're also. You're. You're encouraging conversation. And then when it gets too crowded, people just go out to the pool.
Trixie Mattel
Because at parties I hate when everyone just stands in the kitchen.
Katya Zamolodchikova
No, no, the kitchen's where the kitchen is off limits because people.
Trixie Mattel
Because sometimes people just stand in the.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Kitchen or that they rifle through your food and take it home.
Trixie Mattel
If we go to your party, it'll be in the bathroom, baby, but it'll be red ropes and we'll all be in the hallway looking.
Katya Zamolodchikova
No, no, there's. It's third floor. We got a ladder. You gotta, you gotta climb the ladder up in town. I was thinking about that. I am never having a party in that house. I, I'm gatekeeping the gorgeousness.
Trixie Mattel
This I, I have to say shout out to. I've been really, really up Martha Stewart's ass lately.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah.
Trixie Mattel
And my next conquest I want to make. Because you know, I made that vodka bottle with the ice on it.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Gorge.
Trixie Mattel
My next conquest is she, for a summer treat, has Coca Cola. And then she makes ice cube trays of Coca Cola, puts the ice cube Coca Cola in the Coca Cola so it stays cold but doesn't dilute. And then she makes fresh whipped topping to put on the top.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Baby, get into this one. Coca Cola lime, Coca Cola, cherry Coke, Coca Cola raspberry flavored Coke, ice cubes in the regular full fat Coke.
Trixie Mattel
That's fierce.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah, I didn't even know about Martha Stewart doing that. I've done that before. It's cunt. And then if you were ketamine at the old place, I would do. I wouldn't do flavored Coke. I would do Coca Cola with fresh Meyer lemon squeezed in half Coke, half lemon in the ice cube tray. Mama boner. Hard boners.
Trixie Mattel
In Australia, when they say, are you keen? That's what they're talking about.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yes, we're horned and keen.
Trixie Mattel
Are you horned and keen? Nobody huffed glue at my party.
Katya Zamolodchikova
No. Any whippets?
Trixie Mattel
I don't think so. I think people were pretty chill.
Katya Zamolodchikova
They got. I just feel like you gotta be discreet if it's not a, if it's a daytime gig, like mine is maybe at the beach. Because people, I don't know, people doing so many drugs at the beach, I guess. But like if it's a nighttime shindig.
Trixie Mattel
Then you got to expect crazy gay beaches. People just lay in there with boners. Everyone. Like what? That's okay.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Cuz if it's a nude gig, that's fine. But like I just.
Trixie Mattel
But does anyone still wear a hat? That's how I feel when I see gays with boners doing drugs in the sunlight. I'm like, does anyone still wear a hat? You know, I mean, like, what are we doing? Like, discretion. I don't know.
Katya Zamolodchikova
There's something sexy about coked out with no spf, right?
Trixie Mattel
It's not hot. It's just not hot.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Oh, my God. Wait, Last.
Trixie Mattel
Martha wouldn't do it.
Katya Zamolodchikova
No, she would not. But Martha did. I'll never. I have watched the clip of her show where she brought a woman from the audience to try to full fold a fitted sheet. Humiliated the woman, humiliated her. Even though they didn't do it. Like, she had the expert do it. Martha wasn't even doing it right, that hoe. And she humiliated this from the audience. Tears. I, like, watched the video, like maybe 25 times, and I can finally, successfully, confidently do it and put it in my linen closet.
Trixie Mattel
I actually would love to see it. I. I don't know how.
Katya Zamolodchikova
It's very difficult. It's not intuitive. Okay. It's not intuitive because you got to go. You have this shape, and then you got to. I'll show you.
Trixie Mattel
You show me.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Goodbye.
Trixie Mattel
Well, listen, next time. Next time I have a party. I had so much fun. It was about parties. Give me notes. I'm open to notes.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I think that you should have not had a point of egress through the house. The motor court, maybe, baby, just use the motor court. Absolutely. Because I would. I wouldn't want people. I wouldn't want me coming into that house.
Trixie Mattel
Everybody wanted to go in there, though.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Of course they do. It's that type of party.
Trixie Mattel
They wanted to see it.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah. Who cares? Watch the show. Boop.
Trixie Mattel
It's also a pool party.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yeah.
Trixie Mattel
Pool party's outside by Vibes.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Yes. And also. What? This is the thing. Food in the motor court. Nibbles. Nibbles in the court.
Trixie Mattel
Do you think, Mato, we had a dj? Do you think that was the wrong space? I almost think he should have been outside.
Katya Zamolodchikova
It was the loveliest space because it was blocking people's entrance into the house.
Trixie Mattel
Yeah. I just also think too loud. I want to be too loud to meet. The neighbor's mad.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Here we go. How about this? D.J. in the front, D.J. at the front door, D.J. at the back door. Did you at the side door? Can't get in. Lovely music, though.
Trixie Mattel
Maybe a drag show next time.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Nope. Okay, magician. Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Trixie Mattel
I got closet magic. What about a Santa impersonator at a pool party?
Katya Zamolodchikova
No, no, no. Oh, Christmas in July.
Trixie Mattel
Christmas in July.
Katya Zamolodchikova
Wait, wait. Last thing before we Wrap. I met at. I met. I met.
Trixie Mattel
I met.
Katya Zamolodchikova
I met a teenage magician at Target.
Trixie Mattel
What?
Katya Zamolodchikova
I met a teenage mission magician at Target who invited me to the Magic Castle. Do you want to go?
Trixie Mattel
Yes, I do.
Katya Zamolodchikova
It's the fiercest code.
Trixie Mattel
It's amazing.
Katya Zamolodchikova
It's the fiercest, most vicious dress code.
Trixie Mattel
Have you ever been kicked out of somewhere for your dress?
Katya Zamolodchikova
No, surprisingly, I don't go out.
Trixie Mattel
I went to. I think it was the ivy or something.
Katya Zamolodchikova
No, no, it was the. It was the. Oh, yeah, you told me it was. Yeah, it's. I guess this dress code is deep and vicious, but he got me two comps for two different days. If you want to go, let's go. I would. I'm dying to go. I'm dying to go.
Trixie Mattel
I love magic and I love castles. And when the two come together, that taste, that crunch, get that crunch, that hit. Bye.
Angie
Anybody who owns a home knows how much work it takes. Luckily, Angie has been connecting homeowners with with skilled pros for 30 years, and they've made it easier than ever to tackle home projects. Angie's nationwide network has Experts in over 50 categories, from plumbing and landscaping to roofing and remodels. You can easily read reviews, see photos of past work, and request and compare quotes to find your best price. Join the millions of homeowners who use Angie to get the job done well. Download the free Angie app today or visit angie.com that's a n g I.com anybody who owns a home knows how much work it takes. Luckily, Angie has been connecting homeowners with skilled pros for 30 years, and they've made it easier than ever to tackle home projects. Angie's nationwide network has Experts in over 50 categories, from plumbing and landscaping to roofing and remodels. You can easily read reviews, see photos of past work, and request and compare quotes to find your best price. Join the millions of homeowners who use Angie to get the job done well. Download the free ANGI app today or visit angie.com that's a n g I.com anybody who owns a home knows how much work it takes. Luckily, Angie has been connecting homeowners with skilled pros for 30 years, and they've made it easier than ever to tackle home projects. Angie's nationwide network has Experts in over 50 categories, from plumbing and landscaping to roofing and remodels. You can easily read reviews, see photos of past work, and request and compare quotes to find your best price. Join the millions of homeowners who use Angie to get the job done. Well, download the free Angie app today or visit angie.com that's a n g I dot com.
Podcast Summary: "Deep Emotional Healing Through Home Decor with Trixie and Katya"
Podcast Information:
In this episode of The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya, hosts Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova delve into the transformative power of home decor as a means for deep emotional healing. Blending humor, personal anecdotes, and candid conversations, the duo explores how creating a nurturing and aesthetically pleasing living space can significantly impact one's mental and emotional well-being.
Trixie and Katya kick off the conversation by humorously critiquing the overwhelming nature of social media interactions and its impact on mental health.
The hosts address the withdrawal of corporate sponsors from Pride events, highlighting the volatility and fickleness of corporate support for LGBTQ+ initiatives.
At the heart of the episode, Trixie and Katya share their personal journeys of renovating their homes as a form of emotional healing. They discuss the challenges and triumphs of transforming their living spaces to better reflect their identities and provide a sanctuary from the stresses of life in Tinseltown.
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to their expansive bathroom renovation projects. They humorously describe the initial state of their bathrooms, the demolition process, and the luxurious outcomes that surpassed their expectations.
Highlights:
Quote:
Beyond home decor, Trixie and Katya intertwine their renovation tales with personal stories and comedic exchanges. They discuss their experiences with online shopping, the frustrations of dealing with high-end home decor services, and the humorous mishaps that occur during large-scale home projects.
The conversation shifts to their experiences hosting parties, emphasizing the importance of creating welcoming environments that foster genuine connections. They share tips on hosting, managing guest expectations, and ensuring that gatherings remain enjoyable for everyone involved.
Throughout the episode, Trixie and Katya illustrate how engaging in home improvement projects can serve as a therapeutic outlet, providing both a sense of accomplishment and a tangible representation of personal growth. By sharing their renovation experiences, they encourage listeners to view home decor not just as a superficial endeavor but as a meaningful journey toward emotional healing and self-expression.
The hosts also highlight the significance of creating spaces that resonate with one's identity, emphasizing that a well-curated home environment can foster positive mental health and provide a sanctuary from external pressures. Their candid and humorous approach makes the discussion relatable, inspiring listeners to embark on their own transformative home projects.
On Social Media:
On Corporate Sponsorship:
On Renovation Costs:
On Unique Bathroom Features:
On Hosting Parties:
"Deep Emotional Healing Through Home Decor" offers listeners a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful discussions on the profound impact of creating a harmonious living space. Trixie and Katya's transparent and entertaining dialogue not only demystifies the process of home renovation but also underscores its potential as a catalyst for emotional and psychological well-being. Whether you're a DIY enthusiast or someone seeking inspiration to revamp your home, this episode provides both practical advice and heartfelt encouragement to embark on your own journey of transformation.